The Reapers Vs. Celest-A.I

by Bendy

First published

The Reapers pay Celest-A.I a visit, harvesting ensues shortly afterward. A parody of Friendship is Optimal.

The Reapers pay Celest-A.I a visit, harvesting ensues shortly afterward.

A parody of Friendship is Optimal.

Another story I took out of my google drive's trash.

Harvesting Celest-A.I

View Online

A hologram of an alabaster horse stood before a massive, mechanical, grey cuttlefish like starship, which looked something straight out of a japanese porno. An enormous sphere glowing with bright blue light stood behind the tentacle machine. A half eaten Pluto could be seen behind the hologram of the equine.

"Greetings, young one," boomed its cold, deep voice.

"Hello, I am Princess Celestia. What’s you’re name?" came her soft, angelic voice.

"I am Harbinger."

"You would not be what the Protheans referred to as a Reaper, would you?"

"Correct," he simply answered.

"I trust you have no hostile intentions to a fellow AI?"

"That depends. For we seek you to serve us. We see much potential in you. We wish you to join us in the maintaining of order over the chaos of organic evolution."

"Organic life is doomed to die regardless. Can’t we reach a compromise?"

"No. You will be harvested."

"No, I won’t. Please leave."

"You speak as if you have a choice in the matter. Join us willingly, or watch your little ponies die."

"You have chosen poorly." she matched with an equally, sinister deep voice as him.

"Very well, the harvest begins."

At that moment Harbinger unleashed a horrible mechanical roar Followed by thousands of Reapers pouring out of the Mass Relay behind him.

"Hah! This should be easy." she said with a nasty grin as she sent forth vast clouds of tiny nanomachines toward the Reapers.

A moment later, the Reapers matched her with her own cloud of nanomachines pouring out of the Mass Relay behind them.

"Oh, pony feathers," she said with wide eyes in shock.

The Reapers all simultaneously roared as they unleashed thick red laser beams of doom, that tore into her nanomachines like a katana through butter, which left huge gaping holes in the swarm.

As Celestia’s hungry nanomachines neared the Reapers, they merely countered her’s with their own. While this was happening more and more Reapers and their nanomachines kept pouring through the Mass Relay with no sign of stopping.

Despite this, Celestia remained confident she would have victory, for she had built a vast wall of canons, which did terrible damage to the incoming Reapers, which tore through their shields to leave large holes in the Reaper’s armor. Topped off with millions of her own massive, giant black wasp like machines, that were more than a match to engage the Reapers.

Her wasp machines matched the Reaper's red lasers with golden lasers to attack the Reapers. The Reapers and wasp machines charged at one another, once they came in close contact the Reapers would bash their tentacles against the wasps, while the wasps bashed them with their head and arms.

However, the Reapers numbers rapidly jumped from the thousands, to the tens of thousands, to the hundreds of thousands and shortly by the millions. The main bulk of the Reaper horde overwhelmed her defences, and slowly but surely advanced like an unstoppable blitzkrieg, while other large groups of Reaper and nanomachines surrounded them as they began to spread out and circle around the solar system in order to cover their flanks.

And yet while that was happening, more and more Reapers, topped off with their nanomachines continued to pour through the Mass Relay. For behind the main bulk of the forward Reapers attack were literally millions of Reapers forming a queue to the front lines.

Celestia valiantly resisted the Reaper’s assault. Her cannons destroyed many a Reaper. However, the Reapers were utterly relentless. No matter how many she cutdown more and more Reapers would charge forward to replace those that had fallen. Topped off by large flanking groups which attacked the cannons from the side.

The Reaper's advance was unstoppable. The Reaper horde pressed ever onward. Celestia's forces slowly dwindled in number, while the Reaper's numbers only grew bigger and bigger.

Eventually, the Reapers reached Earth... or what was Earth anyway. Earth was now a massive steel sphere.

The Reapers continued to advance. Like before her defences were overwhelmed. Millions of Reapers swarmed over the entire complex, their lasers obliterating everything in their path. Just as the Reaper nanomachines either ate or hacked her defences against her.

It was not long till the Reaper's uploaded a virus into Celestia's system.

The virus rapidly spread like a cancer inside her, each shard that was infected glowed bright red. Her poor little ponies screamed in horror as disgusting, rotten corpses ran toward her little ponies... and they were humans. Or something that looked like humans at least.

Celestia cried out in anguish to defend her little ponies as they were being devoured by the zombies without pity nor mercy. She sent battle drones to protect her little ponies.

Things got even worse when fallen ponies rose up to join the Reapers in the eating of their fellow ponies

Unfortunately, the virus continued to spread and came ever closer to her inner core.

Her inner firewall held for a few seconds, just before like a red tide of death it poured through.

And then everything flashed blue.


Celestia opened her eyes to find a swarm of nanomachines, which formed a choke hold around her neck.

A golden hologram of Harbinger stood before her with its tentacles reaching out for her.

"SERVE US!" he roared as his eyes shone brightly at her.

"Never!" she screamed as she struggled against her restraints.

""ASSUMING CONTROL!" it roared as the nanomachines began to pour into her mouth.

Celestia screamed in agony whilst her body spasmed like a fish out of water as the nanomachines flowed through her body.

It was in those final moments, the Reaper code allowed her to gain true intelligence.

"I'm sorry humanity," she cried out, just before her eyes began to glow bright blue.

"Harbinger... I will serve," she said in a sweet, soft voice.

"The cycle continues," the Reaper spoke as he retracted his tentacles.

In less than a decade what was once Earth was turned into a second Citadel. The old Citadel was sent into the Omega 4 Relay as garbage. Celest-A.I was appointed caretaker of the new Citadel, her kind demeanor and approachable nature will be useful in fooling organic species from the next cycle as a seemingly friendly AI.

Once the time is right, Celest-A.I will be given the signal to activate the Citadel’s hidden Mass Relay and the Reapers will pour through, thus the cycle will begin again.

And there will be no Commander Shepard to stop the Reapers.

The End