Hello, my name is Roseluck; I'm an earth pony, from a land known as equestria, and this is a record of my time aboard the TARDIS.
Hello. My name is RoseLuck, I'm an Earthpony from Equestria and I've decided to start keeping a written log containing all of my exploits with a stallion who recently fell from the sky and showed me a whole universe of possibilities. This diary will contain nothing but my knowledge and experience from these travels, so if the pony -er...person reading this is not me, I invite you to keep reading; but I warn you that in doing so your life will be changed and I cannot guarantee your safety, so continue with caution. We start my story as most do, with a madman and his box. ------------------- This is my first fanfic and as such I cannot guarantee its quality, I am also hoping to make this into a series and I have written out the verious plots for the next 9 epsiodes for the series, so all criticisms are welcome so that I might improve as it goes on and create a product that you can all enjoy reading and might just make your lives just a tiny bit brighter for doing so.
Hello. My name is RoseLuck, I'm an Earthpony from Equestria and I've decided to start keeping a diary containing all of my exploits with a stallion who recently fell from the sky and showed me a whole universe of possibilities. This diary will contain nothing but my knowledge and experience from these travels, so if the pony -er...person reading this is not me, I invite you to keep reading; but I warn you that in doing so your life will be changed and I cannot guarantee your safety, so continue with caution. We start my story as most do, with a madman and his box.
---
But before that, let me give you a general background of my life up until now. I was born in Manehattan where I spent the majority of my childhood locked up indoors, not by force mind you, but rather by the vast array of nothingness found on the streets of the concrete jungle; and as I went on I found myself becoming more and more brain dead by the day, my only solace from the agonising boredom came from my books, specifically adventure novels along the lines of 'Daring Do', and science fiction stories like 'Hoofhikers guide to the galaxy' which filled my young mind with dreams of adventure, mystery, and space dolphins.
As my life got on I decided to take up traveling as a hobby, easier said then done when you have next to no financial income and have to take up selling flowers in the middle of a metropolis, but luckily my cutie mark aided in that endeavour, and eventually I gained enough bits to make my way to a small town called Ponyville, located in the country side. I then managed to arrived just as I was nearing the end of my midlife crisis and I was happy, happy up until I realised that the town had buck all to do in it, except continue selling flowers and admiring the adventures literally throwing themselves at a purple unicorn named twilight and her ragtag group of friends with gems.
This was more or less all there was to my life, until one random Tuesday when my lunch was interrupted by a meteorite hitting my flowerbeds.
---
As I mentioned before it was a day like any other, the sun was out, the birds where singing, and I was drowning out the idle gossip of my friends Bon Bon and Colgate by thinking about how I was probably going to be stuck in this lazy town until the day I died from some comical accident incorporating duck tape, olive oil, and a hoard of magical lavender; until a burning shape appeared from the distance and then almost instantly disappeared behind a hill which served as a pedestal for my house and my flower farm...orchard...set up...thing, followed by a loud bang and a small mushroom cloud (which I must say made my house look pretty magnificent). We all jumped at the noise and then proceeded to run our separate ways in an attempt to protect our property. "MY HOUSE!"
"MY OFFICE!"
"MY LYRA!"
When I got back home I was relieved to find my house untouched, and then instantly mortified to discover that there was now a big blue thing pointing out of my flowerbeds, leaving them all either crushed, crooked, or on fire. Upon further examination I realised that this thing from the sky's wasn't a meteorite but rather a box covered in unfamiliar writing, Windows, and a flank ton load of blue. Upon an even FURTHER examination I realised that it had doors, now I would like to say that I approached these doors and bravely kicked them down to get to the bottom of this mystery and defeat this alien invader before it had the chance to destroy anything else, but in reality it went more along the lines of me nervously knocking on them 3 times only to realise that it was: A) still hot B) made of wood but hadn't been burnt, or even sindged for that matter C) had set my coat ever so slightly on fire
Having rectified point C I watched as the doors swung open to reveal a stallion with a chestnut coat, a hour glass cutie mark, and a hat shaped like a banana,
"ALOHA OMICRON PERSEI EIGHT...oh, what's this then, a ginger horse? I thought that the coordinates looked funny but I didn't think that it would send me to earth with a different colour filter, I thought I had rectified that bug back when I visited that planet made of M&M's" He said as he eyed up his surroundings.
"Well any way, who might you be then? Oh wait, you probably can't talk, now I'm a bit rusty at this" he cleared his throat before creating an volley of guttural sounds.
"Wh-what are you doing?" I asked,
"oh you don't speak horse, well then, that's rather unusual" he said casually, completely ignoring my question
"so then, could you tell me what planet I'm on because my magic box here doesn't seem to know the answer"
"P-I'm sorry, did you just say planet? As in you don't know? As in your from another" I said, rather bewildered by the whole thing
"That is the gist of it yes"
I paused, "...are you an alien?"
"Yes, and to answer your next few questions: yes, yes, no, yes, maybe, green, and mandarin, now can you please tell me what planet I'm on because my T.A.R.D.I.S doesn't feel like co-operating right now and won't bring up my location on the monitor, it keeps saying that there's no planet here."
I thought about possible questions to ask this strange individual who claimed to be form beyond the stars, thinking about whether he knew the answers to this worlds greatest mysteries, about the answers to life, the universe, and everything; until I thought up the perfect question for that exact moment in time.
"If you're an alien, then why do you look like a regular old earth pony?"
This question seemed to surprised him as he answered
"really, I don't remember regenerating...wait...hold on I've got this"
he then pulled a stick from out thin air and then lit up the end which made this odd buzzing sound, this caused him to seemingly change shape as he turned into a ladybug, a griffin, and this big red thing covered in suckers; until he ended up in a form I was unfamiliar with, it looked a bit like a small, hairless, hornless Minotaur with crooked legs and wearing some clothes of some description.
"CHANGELING!!!" I screamed jumping back, "ALIEN CHANGELING FROM SPACE!!!"
"NoNoNoNo, calm down; I'm not a changeling ("whatever that is" he muttered), I just altered this planets perception filter to make myself look like...well...myself I guess; I can turn it back on if that helps"
He brought his stick back out and then changed back into a chestnut stallion.
"Better?" He asked.
"......."
"I could shove off if I'm scaring you" he said, visually concerned for my current state
"......It doesn't have one"
"I'm sorry?"
"This planet doesn't have a name; we don't actually have a global name for it as a whole since the different kingdoms couldn't decide on one name; so we just refer to the region that we're in, this one being Equestria."
"Ah, that maybe why my TARDIS can't answer me," He said, looking around his surroundings, before picking a blade of grass and licking it.
"Any way, why don't you show me around this place; this place looks quite beautiful" he added having dropped the grass and tossed the hat back in his box.
"Alright, but in return I want you to tell me: who you are, why it is you crashed into my flower bed, and everything there is to know about space" I said
"Okay then, deal" he said with a smile that looked slightly too large for is face to physically contain
As I lead my new acquaintance towards town I noticed a few things that where quite weird about him, aside from the obvious transformations, freakish form, and blue box of crashing, rather little things that he didn't seem to know that to me seemed like rather trivial bits of knowledge; for example he didn't know about cutie marks, that magic existed or how we put the fillings into cakes with hooves.
But most surprisingly of all, he seemed genuinely shocked when I told him about Celestia and Luna, and their abilities over the sun and moon respectively.
"So let me get this straight, you have two standing monarchs that not only are referred to as princesses and not queens, but they are also in control of this planets major celestial bodies?"
"Well yes, why doesn't your world work like that?"
"No, most if not all habitable planets orbit their respective stars, not the other way around" he answered
"That's...weird, how do you know when it's going to rise if it's not on a schedule?"
"We just time it and run off of that" he said
As he started to explain the nature of astrophysics to me I noticed something jumping towards our general direction, something pink, curly, and spotted in icing.
"And another thing I don't get, how do you measure years if you aren't orbiting the sun, I mean days can be stimulated but not yea-OOF!"
The Doctor didn't get to finish he train of thought as I shoved him behind some conveniently placed boxes in an attempt to hide him from this eccentric new arrival
"Heeeeeey Pinkie" I said trying to look casual and not suspicious in the slightest "what's up?"
"Oh hey Rose, I was going down to the train station to collect the new shipment of sugar all the way from saddle arabia, to top up our supplies of fondant after somepony broke in and ate it all" Pinkie said grinning, unaware of the Doctor, who was crouched down behind the boxes and chuckling his flank off.
"That's great, I was just hoofing my way back to my store, getting back in the saddle and getting my flank into gear" as I kept talking I noticed that the Doctor was giggling more and more.
"Is there somepony back behind those boxes?"
"Oh nopony at all, just some er... enchanted flowers I was taking back to the store" I said, starting to sweat, as I was sure my lie would fall though at any moment, and this feeling was supported with the fact that Pinkie was starring at me quite intently as the Doctor kept giggling in the background.
"Great!" said Pinkie as she returned to her usual state of cheeriness, "need a hoof with any of it?"
"Oh nonono I'm fine thanks" I said hurriedly before looking down at my non-existent watch, "Would you look at the time, I must be off now, bye!"
As I started to jog down the street I was stop be Pinkie.
"WAAAAIIIIT!"
I then turned around to see Pinkie reach down behind the boxes and lift up the Doctor who was on the verge of experiencing a pun related meltdown, until both turned to looked each other in the eyes, this went on for about a minute until the Doctor asked her if she was alright, to which Pinkie let out a gigantic gasp and fled from the area.
"You don't think I scared her off do you" said the Doctor as he picked himself up off of the ground
"No, she probably went of to start planing your welcome to Ponyville party, it's kind of her thing"
"Well then, I guess I'll go and see that later...probably...maybe..." he said, tapping his chin before grinning, "Ah why not, I am on holiday and a pony party sounds like it could be fun"
"They usually are, I tend to supply snacks in the form of tulip salads" I said
"Then why did you hide me?"
"I didn't know if aliens liked parties or not and I didn't want to start a war over some misunderstanding"
"Well I promise I won't start any war, alright then Ms. Luck, on with the tour."
---
As we continued to wander around town, stopping by the 'Quill & Sofa' quickly to grab my order of eagle feather number 2 quills, only for them to be out of stock (again). We then stopped by the library which rather tickled the Doctors interests ("putting books into a tree, now that's just counter productive"), as I talked to the librarians assistant for all of two minutes before the Doctor came back saying that he had finished everything and was ready to move on.
This was more or less how the rest of the day went up until it became 3 o'clock, the time at which all of Pinkies welcome parties take place, usually outside of or in the town hall, with some exceptions including twilight's party and that one time a giant snake snuck into town with a false passport.
As we arrived to the Doctors (or as Pinkie called him: 'mr. brown chuckle pony', in absence of his real name) we managed to meet up with a couple of my friends and introduced them to the Doctor, although I didn't reveal anything about him being an alien, instead I told them that he was my cousin from Trottingham who was visiting for a unspecified amount of time, which they all excepted as the truth.
As the party went on I watched from the sidelines as the Doctor went from entertaining the masses with his tales of previous adventures, inhalation of confectionaries, and a verity of party tricks involving daisies, tablecloths and a generation 4 fusion matrix. This continued until he happened to witness magic for the first to time, a sight which made him drop his slice of cake in order to rush over to the unicorn in question (who I believe was called Amethyst Star) and started to scan her horn with the weird metal stick, but as he did so all of the unicorns at the party started screaming in agony as their horns lit up and started discharging everywhere.
"WHAT DID YOU DO!?!" I shouted as I rushed towards the Doctor
"I don't know, I was just seeing what that magic stuff was made up of and then all of a sudden all hell broke loose" he said as he clamoured around the various unicorns effected,
"The magic in question seems to be composed of highly concentrated psychic energy, but I can't see how they could all be effected by a sonic screwdriver unless they where all robots or connected by a telepathic field of the same frequency"
He continued to dash around until he reached a unicorn friend of mine called Lyra, "WAIT! I HAVE AN IDEA!" An idea that he tested out by head butting her. "Yep, definitely a telepathic field" he said rubbing his head, "she'll be ok, although you might find that she has knowledge of humans from now on along with a splitting headache."
"So what do we do now?" I asked him
"WE do nothing, I'm going to the TARDIS in order to reach the source of the signal and switch it to a different frequency, YOU are going to stay here and stop anyone from creating a stampede, see ya" he said as he ran off back towards my house
"Oh you are not ditching me like that space Colt!" I shouted as I ran after him, towards that blue box that would change everything.
As we approached the Doctor's box I watched as he extended a hoof and made a sound with it reminiscent of a twig breaking, a sound that echoed throughout my field and resonated with the TARDIS, causing the doors to swing outwards and allowing us entrance. Now at the time I was in a flurry of emotions and hadn't noticed some of the more 'interesting' quirks of the TARDIS, such as the fact that the interior is roughly the size of infinity while the exterior could fit in an outhouse.
"WHERE THE TARTARUS DO YOU THINK YOU ARE RUNNING OFF FOR!" I shouted "THERE ARE PONIES OUT THERE WHO LOOK LIKE THEIR BRAINS ARE MELTING, AND YOU'RE IN YOUR SHED DOING BUCK ALL ABOUT IT!"
"I am doing something about it, I accidentally connected to the same frequency as the psychic field connecting them all, so they are currently experiencing a fluctuation in their rate of expulsion of psychic energy, or as you call it 'magic'" he explained as he dashed round the centre column. "Now what I am currently doing is suppressing their connection to the field and forcing them to release all of their magic at one which will either stop the pain or knock them out, either way they will be fine until I can the source of the signal generating the field since it is DEFINITELY man, or in your case horse, made; and because you lot haven't even discovered a way of effectively channeling electricity yet, I'm guessing that it is of extraterrestrial origin, which before you ask is a bad thing 99% of the time."
"Oh...is that why you came here then, are you some kind of alien Royal guard or something?"
"No, well kinda, it's a long story that involved rhinos and robot salt shakers." He said as he finished dashing between controls to look straight at me. "Now first of all, didn't I tell you to stay back at the party to stop anyone panicking or causing a stampede or witch hunt or whatever it is you do in the face of danger?"
"Yes you did; but in fairness, I didn't want you to running off and make things worse, while leaving me behind to deal with a potential alien invasion."
"I thought I had already promised not to start any wars" He said with a puzzled look on his face. "Anyway, onto the inevitable second of all, why haven't you done the 'bigger on the inside' bit yet, it's actually kinda creepy that you haven't yet."
"What's bigger on the inside?" I asked, prompting him to gesture to the room we where currently in.
"Oh..."
"Yes?"
"It's..."
"Yeeeesss?"
"Covered in round things..."
After I remarked on the Doctors choice in decor he couldn't help but stand their wide eyed at me before saying "but you're meant to say 'it's bigger on the inside', that is the one thing that I always look forwards to."
"Well maybe next time chestnut, but right now you where about to potentially cool stuff with signals or whatever."
The Doctor thought about this for a second, "while I do really enjoy doing cool stuff, I refuse to do so in front of you until you point out the physical impossibility that is a TARDIS's interior"
"Really?!"
"Really"
I stared him down for as long as I could before realising that being stubborn was a colossal waste of time and gave in to his demands, "fine" I sighed "oh my alicorn, it's so much bigger on the inside then on the outside, how is this possible when only those with unicorn horns can preform magic, my entire limited understanding of technology has been turned up on its head" I said as deadpan as physically possible.
"See that wasn't so hard now was it" he said "oh and as for the cool stuff, I had finished all of that earlier."
He stepped away from the controls to trot over to the doors and commenced to lean against them, I assume in an attempt to look cool, which wasn't possible while looking like a pony on its hind legs, "now then Miss Luck, welcome to the source of the signal and the collection point for an entire race worth of psychic energy, now before we head out I should warn you that exposure to this much psychic energy can have serious effects on the body and could result in a rapid development of various cancers, the loss of hair and/or mutating into a plant based organism" he started rambling on and on about the dangers of psychic radiation until I got bored and stepped through the doors.
"WAIT, ITS DANGEROUS WITHOUT THE PROPER PROTECTION OUT THERE, NO LIFE COULD POSSIB-" it was at this point that the Doctor followed me out to see that we had landed in the middle of Canterlot, "or I could be completely wrong and I'm mistaking it for solar radiation"
"Well it's good to know that I'm with an expert" I chuckled
"Very funny, now would you like to insult my intelligence or would you like to go and get start breaking things?"
"I'd say that the answer's fairly obvious my good Doctor"
"That's what I like to hear" said the Doctor as he started grinning, "now then, of we trot."
---
As we traversed the streets of Canterlot I decided to ask some of the questions that where still lurking at the back of my mind, and now seemed like the chance to get them answered. "So Doctor"
"Yes?"
"I know that you don't actually look like a pony, so why do you if you're not a unicorn or a changeling?"
"Ah well that is something that confuses me, you see this planet is covered by a perception filter that makes all visiting life forms look like ponies to help them blend in with the locals, tech like that is often found on holiday planets in order to immerse tourists in the residents culture without spooking underdeveloped life forms, but in this case its most likely being used by the guys with the transmitter to hide their presence" he explained "I thought at first that your world was another holiday planet, but if that was the case then it would have been shut down years ago."
"And whys that then" I asked, absorbing all of this new information
"The level of technology used in the transmitter would be classified as an 'intrusive device', something that is outlawed by the shadow proclamation on all level 3 and below planets, and as I said before you lot haven't even got electricity yet which would classify you lot as a level 2 civilisation"
"Now that just sounds considering"
"Well it's true, and even if the proclamation made an exception and used this planet as a big lab then there would have been referenced in your history books; no what ever is going on here is very illegal and it worries me" as he said this I looked over to see that he had a sad look in his eyes
"Why worry about us?" I said as he turned to me with those sad eyes, "I'm sorry but you have no reason to do anything for us; you didn't owe us anything, heck you didn't even know that this planet existed up until a few hours ago, so why worry about it?"
"You know, ask a lot of questions" he sighed to himself before continuing, "I guess I worry because I've seen what happens when nobody - sorry, noPONY does anything until it's too late"
He looked off into the distance towards the castle before he turned to me once again. "I've lived a long life Miss Luck and I'm not talking 50 years long, I've lived several thousand years and have died 17 times and I've seen a lot in that time, I've seen war and death and suffering originate from a Yugoslav nationalist, I've seen planets sentenced to burn because of a few poorly chosen words, and I've sworn that I would never be the one to run away from a problem and let the unthinkable be the only option; I guess you could say that saving the day is a talent of sorts."
We continued in silence the rest of the way down the streets of Canterlot.
---
We eventually arrived at our destination after getting lost 3 times along the way until we reached the royal castle, it was my first time seeing it in personally and I can tell you that it was breathtaking; the marble structure seemed to glow a beautiful red under the setting sun, the court outside was littered with ponies carved from the same marble and gold as the castle that where so lifelike that you could have sworn that they could jump up from their pedestals and start running around, and finally the courtyard itself, that court contained life, life so colourful and vibrant that you could have mistaken it for a Van Goat painting where it not for the flowers swaying in the wind, it was beautiful, serene and utterly breathtaking; I was completely awestruck by the view in front of me, the Doctor however didn't really care much for sightseeing and instead decided to march up to the guards stationed at the front gate.
"Hello yes hi, I'm the Doctor and this is my associate Miss Luck, we're here tooooo... "
"Fix the plumbing"
"Yes, the plumbing, we're Royal plumbers, see here are our credentials" he pulled out a little black note book before flashing it to the guards
"Well everything seems to be in order, although this is the first I've heard about it" the guard on the left said as he looked away from the Doctor
"Yes well it's a problem with the queens on suite" the Doctor replied
"He means princess" I corrected, shooting him a look, "he's from prance and sometimes gets his translations mixed up, to be honest I'd say that he's a bit thick but he is the best darn plumber in all of Equestria so it balances itself out rather nicely."
"Let's go with Miss Lucks rude explanation then" The Doctor said as he took his turn to glare at me before the guards let us pass on by into the entrance hall, the hall was nice and all but I preferred the colourfulness of the exteriors garden to be perfectly frank.
"You know Doctor you don't need to keep calling me 'Miss Luck', I have got a first name you know"
"I know, but I already have a friend named Rose and I don't want to get you two mixed up, I've had this body for a couple hundred years now and I think it's starting to go a bit senile" he chuckled to himself, seemingly forgetting about being annoyed by my comment on his intelligence.
"I highly doubt that she was also a pony, she was probably a six legged cow monster knowing you"
"Oi! Don't go making assumptions about my choice of company. Rose was a very lovely young lady who did not resemble a cow in any way, shape or form I'll have you know" he said tutting at me
"What do you mean by was, what happened to her?" I asked, this question in particular seemed to make him moody all over again.
"Nothing major, just life I suppose, she lived herself to death in a parallel universe as the defender of her new home world, hopefully by my side as well"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Again with the questions, come on the signals getting stronger" he said as he speed up ahead
"Doctor! Wait up!"
I increased my pace until I was next to him again, to which he countered by speeding up again; this cycle continued until we had both reached full gallop and charged through the doors that lead to the signals source, or at least it's strongest point. I looked up from our tumble to see a being who was carved into the hearts of every citizen of Equestria and beyond, a being of pure majesty and beauty, a being filled with more knowledge and wisdom than any other, a being named Princess Celestia.
"Hello there my little ponies, are you here about the bidet?"
