Force of Friendship

by Xero Key

First published

Human Jedi in Equestria: A self-Insert displacement story

Being displaced in Equestria isn't anything new to Bronies, heck we expect it sometimes. Usually we end up with powers based on our costumes and our personality gets overwritten with that character. But what happens when you don't have a specific character in mind when you made the costume in the first place?

Apparently, you turn into a Jedi.

There has been, an Awakening

View Online

I am not a convention person. Panels are nice and getting autographs are nice for a few minutes (not the price they cost, mind you), but otherwise it's just being around people who take the term 'fan' a bit to close to the definition. Going as a Jedi to a general comic convention may not have been the best option, especially for a consummate actor like myself. I was swamped by pictures and role players the entire first day, always asking about where I got my costume and such. It was thrift stores, by the way, and a Disney Store for the cloak and saber. The worst were people who asked who I was. What, a guy can't just like a costume, he has to be someone too? Oi vey. Unfortunately for me there wasn't a large presence of Bronies at this convention, and those that were only worsened the stereotype and reputation than helped it. So that meant that I circled the vendors after getting separated from my friends, before deciding to call it a day and read a nice book in my room, which I honestly wish I had done.

Why the woman dressed as a Playboy Kyubey drew my attention, I could not tell you. It wasn't the strangest site at the convention, but something about her just made me follow her out of the convention hall. She went up the stairs and I followed her; every time she was just out of sight, I found a glimpse of her tail turning a corner or saw her go down a hall out of the corner of my eye. I finally had her cornered after chasing her down who knows how many halls (possibly the same ones) and probably looked like a stalker on security cameras in retrospect, but I finally saw a brief bit of white as an elevator closed, so I rushed to the doors and stopped them. But the car was empty. I checked the panels, thinking I'd been put on a prank show or something, but they wouldn't budge.

Ding

"Oh no." I turned and failed to stop the door. Pressing the open button didn't help. "Come on, come on." The car started moving up wards, but there were no floors lit. "You have got to be kriffin'...." I hit the Emergency Button, but the car kept moving. I pulled out the phone "Emergency, I'm in an elevator going up out of control and I can't get out. Hello? Someone?"

Ding

"May the Force be with you, you're gonna need it." A voice said over the phone.

"What are you tal..." The car dropped. Fast. Working and going to Disney World, I know fast elevators. This beat Tower by a long shot. My body was forced flat against the wall of the car I hurtled well past the point of a crash, the wind in my hair blowing even though there was no vent. I could practically hear the groaning of a TARDIS as I whipped through existence. I was certain I had been put on an elevator to hell, and I was going to hit the ice anytime now.

I was wrong though, because the car started to slow. My body slowly slid to the floor of the car as it neared whatever torture it was holding for me. It hit solid ground and I could hear voices outside the door. "Please be Narnia." I whispered to myself, hoping I wasn't about to be dissected by some horrific alien being.

Ding

The doors opened. I peeked my head out of the frame to see exactly where I was and my jaw dropped. Outside the car door were Ponies in gold armor. Not ponies that little girls want as pets, but capital P Ponies who had magic and weather and nature manipulation. Ponies I was a big fan of... Well not these guys specifically, because I only knew two actual Guards and they aren't the ones with spears in my face. "Uh, I come in peace?" I asked helpfully.

The Ponies disagreed so I was dragged before their leader, who judging by the lack of certain windows in the throne room was ruling alone, Princess Celestia. "Who are you and why did you enter my castle uninvited?" She asked imperiously. If you have ever tried looking at the Sun directly, that's not too far off from looking at Celestia when she's peeved.

"I'm called ..." Uh oh, I can't actually say my real name. I mean I can think it, but the actual name is impossible to say. "Something is preventing me from saying, Your Highness. But I assure you, I mean you no harm."

Celestia raised a single brow as she looked upon me, then her horn ignited and a gold wisp floated around me before returning to her and seemingly whispered in her ear. "My magic agrees with your assessment of your name at least. Do you have a pseudonym that you would care to use?"

I thought to myself, and looked at my Jedi robe and thought of a name to use. "Tanian, Your Highness. Tanian Whenden."

"Very well Tanian. Now why are you here?"

I chuckled nervously. "An excellent question, Your Highness. One that if I had an answer to, I would not be here in the first place."

She considered that, before levitating my toy lightsaber from the guard next to her. "Is this a weapon?" she asked as she extended the plastic blade. "Not very useful."

"It's a toy, Your Highness. A replica based on a work of fiction."

"And you built it?"

"No. The work is incredibly popular, so those toys are mass produced for profit."

She waved the blade through the air a few times, before retracting it and set it down in front of my kneeling form. "I believe that you are truly innocent of any crime besides your arrival, and that is only by circumstance. You may rise." Celestia said finally after what felt like an eternity. "I would like to know more of this fiction that would intrigue so many that a profit can be made with such cheap material."

I rose and was going to explain Star Wars as best as I could, before I felt something. I don't have a sixth sense, I've never had 'the feeling of being watched' shiver down my spine, but this was something I thought was like that. I whipped my head around as I sensed something approach the door before the sound of hooves even came close. "Princess Celestia! The box the creature came in is gone!" A purple unicorn burst through the doors in a panic, I would have chuckled at Twilight being Twilight, but this was worrying because I was certain my only way home was gone. Twilight stopped as she came up to me and saw that I was on my feet and not bound. "Oh. So it's okay then?" She asked her mentor.

"HE's okay, yes." I snark at her, to which she turns and glares.

"Easy Twilight, he's not a danger to us. But describe what happened to the box." Celestia said with a hoof raised to stop Twilight's panicking.

"I tried a diagnostic spell along the outer wall when it collapsed into dust then I rushed over here. I think Moondancer is still looking over remains." She said before looking me up and down. "What are you anyway?" Well that narrows the timeline down a bit, just pre-Season One at the latest to the middle of her training.

"Human, from the planet..." Seriously? This too? Not even Latin? "Solatres." Sun Three, boy I'm not clever.

"You hesitated."

"It's complicated."

"Twilight." We both turned to Princess Celestia. "Would you please watch over our friend here until he gets back on his feet. This must be very strange for him." Way to talk like I'm not here, thanks. "Tanian. I hope to have that conversation soon." Wonderful.

So that's how I became the roommate of (future) Princess Twilight Sparkle and Spike, which was actually pretty nice. I successfully got her to spend more time with her classmates so that hopefully Moondancer would not become a shut in after Twilight skipped her party, and I was able to convince her to help me make a lightsaber.

"You want to make a weapon?" She had asked me after I explained what it was.

"I think I'm going to need one."

"Then get a normal sword or a staff. You don't need a blade of lightning-fire that can cut through steel in a single slice."

"Twilight, you do not understand how important it is that I make a lightsaber."

"Then explain it!"

"It can't be explained!" I threw my hands in the air. "This is the first place I have ever been that has even the slightest chance of me being able to fake what is needed!"

Twilight sighed and levitated a piece of paper and a quill. "Alright Tanian, what do you need?"

"Some kind of crystalized fire and wind, circular magnets, bottled lightning from Cloudsdale, and enchanted metal." Twilight glared at me without having written anything down. I could literally hear the numbers in her head going up as she mentally calculated the cost of what I was asking... I do mean literally. Things were getting weird.

Such as, after explaining the bare bones of Star Wars to Celestia, the Princess wanted me to explain The Force. "It seems to me it is magic." She said as she calmly drank her tea. "An energy that permeates everything, allowing someone to do amazing things. I could probably take a text book from my school and give you a solid definition with math and everything on how it works."

"Please don't. The last time someone tried to explain the Force, it didn't go well." She raised an eyebrow. "You don't want to know." I stretched my back as I leaned into my chair. "The thing is the Force isn't magic. I've read those textbooks in Twilight's place and they sound the same but so does a wall and a shield at the most basic level. They both stop things, but they are still completely distinct."

"Then explain it to me. What is the Force?"

I tapped my chin and scratched my head but couldn't give an explanation. Eventually I crossed my legs beneath me and closed my eyes, hoping that as I spoke, some sort of answer could be given. "The Force is... everything. It is Light and Dark and the bonds between everything and everybeing. Every tree and rock and drop of water is bound together in an endless dance to a Harmonious music that is unhearable. Yet still we are separate, we are not all trees or rocks or drops of water, but the individual notes to the Song of Existence; a melody that we all know by heart. The Force..." I say as I open my eyes. "Is Life."

Crash!
I looked at the table and my tea cup had broken as if it had fallen from a height. Looking up I saw Celestia staring at me with wide eyes and an open jaw. "What? Is there something on my face?" She never really answered, just said something about 'Hoping we have more conversations like this.' That mare was weird, but a thousand years of ruling alone would do that to anyone.

My experiments to make a lightsaber went... okay. Twilight and I could make a beam, but it wasn't stable. The few times we could actually get it to last more than a second, it just looked like Kylo Ren's but purple. The color was fine, but the look just wasn't right. Twilight had brought Moondancer over a couple of times and it was obvious they were friendly and becoming close, but I still worried about the events to come in the next few years, starting with next month. My conversations with Celestia eventually led me to explain that I knew of many possible futures when Luna returns, but she wouldn't let me deviate the story from what I know.

"Are you crazy!?" I yelled in her face while pointing to a map, my finger landing directly on the center of the Everfree Forest, where the Elements and the Tree were. "You just want to let things play out!? Luna I can understand, but Sombra? Discord? Tirek?"

She had her eyes closed as she drank her tea. "Does Twilight succeed?" She asked me.

"Yes, but my presence throws the whole story out of whack!"

"Tanian. You have been a good influence on Twilight. If anything, you've made her more ready to face the challenges ahead."

"Tirek was stopped because of a coin flip! If Twilight decides that Discord isn't worth saving after his betrayal because I made her more friendly, then it will be all for naught!"

Clank!
Her tea cup slammed into its saucer. "I will not have you disrupt the peace I've built over a thousand years, Tanian."

"You 'peace' won't be able to hold up if certain things happen or don't happen. It will all have been a lie!"

"Then I will keep telling that lie until it becomes true." She calmly levitated her tea cup and drank from it again. I stormed out of the room, angry at her for ignoring the obvious need to be prepared! We had a month before insanity becomes a new norm, and she just wants to wing it? That mare is nuts. A window near me cracked, but I figure some kid had probably hit a ball or something. Probably got their Cutie Mark too with how high up the window is.

The day before the Summer Sun Celebration finally came and I was on my way to Moondancer's party, apparently she liked me enough to give me an invite, which I accepted to hopefully mitigate the damage that is going to be caused. I got there just as Minuette and the others were explaining why Twilight wasn't there.

"...Oh, okay." Moondancer was despondent.

"I actually just came from the flat." I said to get their attention. "Twilight was sent to Ponyville to make sure everything was set up for the Celebration on Celestia's orders." I lied, I left as she was dictating the letter about Nightmare Moon. The big 'WHAT?' after I left filled in the gaps for me.

"But I thought she was going to study?" Lyra asked before stuffing a cupcake in her mouth.

"Don't talk with your mouth full." I said before grabbing a juice box for myself. "I honestly think she wasn't paying attention when you saw her, otherwise I'm certain she would be here." I looked over at Moondancer and gave a roguish smile, to which she blushed and smiled in return.

"You're right." Moondancer said. "I've been pretty busy studying myself. It wouldn't surprise me if Twilight just forgot what day it was, then the order came through and she would have missed it anyway." She took a party whistle and put it in her mouth and blew. "Let's have some fun!" I laughed and joined in the games, a little annoyed at being the only male because Spike wasn't here, but had a good time none the less. It wasn't until the sun began to set that I grew somber.

As the Mare in the Moon shone from the window of Twilight's apartment, I put the finishing touches on my lightsaber. I had finally gotten it to be perfectly stable, but it still looked like Kylo Ren's in purple and without the cross-guard blades. I chocked that up to the nature of the materials. I went to my closet and put on the costume I came here in and my robe before clipping my new saber to my belt. I went outside and headed towards the park at the city's edge, where the dawn will be the most visible and the Celebration was set to happen in Canterlot. I knew Nightmare Moon would focus on Ponyville, but would want to send a message of 'Under New Management' to the capital of her new Empire of Eternal Night. A message I feared would be far worse than canon simply because I had forewarned Celestia, even if she didn't take my advice.

I looked up at the sky and saw that the Mare was gone from the surface of the moon. "It is time." I said to myself quietly and moved closer to the viewing area, using my cloak to project an air of serenity as I calmly went forward. The ponies around me began to count down until the dawn, and I joined them in whisper for an entirely different event.

"10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1..." I feel a chill, like that of death surrounding me. A part of me recalls a haunted hay ride I took once on a full moon Halloween, when the fog settled on the ground.

"Mwahahahahahaha!" The laugh shook everyone to their core as a billow of blue smoke swirled on the stage. From within the swirling darkness stepped a mare of pitch ebony, her armor a blazing blue, her eyes shining emeralds, and her teeth were razors. "Oh how good it is to once again see your sun-loving faces, but they won't be so for much longer." The Mare said. "I have returned to claim my rightful throne, as your Queen!" The ponies started to talk in panic as I moved closer to the stage. "Do you not know who I am? Did you not recognize the signs of my return?" The Nightmare smiled like a shark. "I am Nightmare Moon, and I have returned to bring a night that Lasts Forever! Mwa Ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

"You're nothing but a shadow!" I shout from the crowd, who conveniently parts so that there is a direct line of sight between me and Nightmare Moon.

"You dare to defy your Queen creature!? ...What are you?" She turns into smoke and slithers around me before reforming with our noses millimeters from touching. "You are no minotaur, but no ape. What manner of being are you?"

"I am Tanian Whenden, and I know you are not the true Nightmare Moon. You are nothing but a projection." I say confidently and loudly so that the crowd could hear.

"This is true. My true self is dealing with my fool of a sister, but I still have enough power to deal with you, Tanian Whenden." She smiled and turned to smoke again, becoming a female human in hoplite armor. "Perhaps a fair fight?" She summoned a blade of ethereal light and leveled it at me with one hand. "A chance to die with dignity instead of torture in my dungeons."

"They won't be your dungeons, Nightmare. That I have foreseen." I said taking my lightsaber into my right hand and removing my cloak. With a snap-hiss and a warbling hum my lightsaber ignited, it's purple light bringing warmth where Nightmare Moon's blade brought cold.

Nightmare's eyes narrowed. "Very well, Prophet. Let us see if can truly see the future." She took her blade in two hands and swung down at me. I raised my blade to block, but was forced to my knees from the pressure of the blow. "Hmph. This will be all too easy." She said before kicking me away. As she neared me she twirled her blade so that she would carve sparks into the ground.

I stood up and rushed her with an over the shoulder strike, before swinging to her left, then right, then a thrust to the center. She blocked each and batted the thrust away before grabbing me by the throat and throwing me away. She raced in and pounded me with the back of her hands and knuckles, making sure to crack a rib or two. "Aaaaarrrgh!" I yell as I come in with a number of over head blows, which she simply blocks with her empty hand before knocking my lightsaber away. She picks me up by my tunic and tosses me against a wall where I crumple like a stringless puppet.

Nightmare Moon was monolouging to the crowd but I had tuned her out as the one eye that wasn't swollen shut started to tear. Why hadn't I tried harder to convince Celestia to prepare? Why hadn't I trained with a sword more to be ready for a fight? Why am I even here to begin with!? I close my eyes and just let the pain knock me out, I was too tired to even really think. I'd told Celestia that my presence would make the peace she's worked so hard for a lie... My eye widened. Peace... a lie...

Peace is a lie, there is only passion. How could I have been so blind to what I was doing? I was too passionate, to focused on actually doing something that I forgot where I was. Even without the Force, I started to fall to the Dark Side because I wasn't in control of something. The road to Hell is paved with good intentions indeed. I force my body to get up, standing on a pretty broken leg, and hobbled over to Nightmare Moon.

"Ah, so you've come back for more?" She asks, and I fall to my knees in pain. "Haha! It seems you have actually learned your place, Tanian Whenden." She looked over nails on her hand. "I must admit this form is quite adaptable for something so limited. There is something...fulfilling using these digits instead of magic."

"...there is no emotion, there is peace..." I mumble to myself, but she hears me. A small rattling sound comes from the ground nearby.

"What was that?"

"...there is no ignorance, there is no knowledge..." The rattling grows louder and closer.

"What are you mumbling about?"

"...there is no passion, there is serenity..." I can hear something sliding towards us, but I can't open my eyes to see it.

"Will you shut up!"

"...there is no chaos, only harmony..." the rattling and sliding is replaced by a rush of wind

"Enough of this!" She raised her blade above her head and brought it down.

"...there is no death, only the Force..." I finish and bring my hand up and ignite the lightsaber as it enters my hand, blocking the oncoming blade.

"What!?" Nightmare cries in confusion. She begins to lean into the blow, but my saber doesn't budge. Instead I raise myself onto one knee and then both legs, steady despite having one broken. I quickly lower a hand from my blade and flick a full palm towards Nightmare, sending her flying into a building, collapsing a wall. In a burst of smoke she reforms her head before sending tendrils of herself at me from all sides. Despite my blindness, I knew exactly where they would be and successfully blocked each one.

"You may have bested me in singular combat," Nightmare says and I crack a single eye open to observe her. "but you can't fight me and save them!" She fired a burst of energy from her horn to a building's wall, causing it to collapse above the crowd of ponies. I deactivated my lightsaber and planted my feet as best as I could and heaved. The weight of the wall was crushing despite not physically touching it, but I still managed to hold it above the ponies so that they could escape. As soon as I let the stones drop, Nightmare's smoke surrounded my throat and lifted me into the air.

"Did you really think you could win against me!? The Goddess of the Night!?" Her fanged muzzle was inches from my face. I saw a flash from the corner of my eye.

I smirked despite the pain. "Wasn't planning too. Just had to stall you." Nightmare looked confused before fading away in an instant, dropping me to the ground. I closed my eye when the sun rose as I began to finally rest... and fall into shock. The next time my eyes opened at all I was in a hospital bed, but that was a brief moment before becoming unconscious again. It took many days for me to return to the waking world for any real amount of time.

"Glad to see you're awake." Celestia's voice took me out of my jumbled, drug induced thoughts.

"Hey. How are you?" I ask...I think.

"Glad you are well Tanian." Her countenance became concerned. "Luna told me what happened during your battle with the Nightmare's Shade. You were very brave."

"I was lucky."

"Luck doesn't usually allow one to use The Force." For once in our conversations, I was the one with the raised eyebrow. "I had thought about it for sometime since you told me what it was. I've seen you levitate objects, predict actions before they happen, know things that could not have been known even with your knowledge of our future." She smiled at me "I believe it would be great to have a Jedi on Equestria."

"I'm no Jedi."

"Well you aren't, what did you call them? Ah yes, you aren't Sith either then." We both chuckle before I wince in pain. "Do you need anything?"

I lay back and think. I need to go home... Why was I not panicking about that? Why wasn't I worried? Why hadn't I been worried or panicked this entire time? "I need to know why I'm here."