Becoming a doctor is tough, especially if you've been taken as a pupil of Princess Celestia.
Becoming a doctor is tough, especially if you've been taken as a pupil of Princess Celestia early on in your career. Having all your education and living arraignments being paid for can be a real nuisance, right? Finally, someone who understands me! I think we could be good friends. This is a story about a young graduate colt trying to get a sound education living with two ruling royal ruinal mares.
For as long as I’ve been managing my clinic in this bustling city of Canterlot, I don’t think I could ever get used to some of the odd things I’ve seen come through here. Even though times can get tough at my little business, it’s hardships pale in comparison to living with the two ruling mares of Equestria. Who am I? Well, people around here call me Doc, I’m just a simple small town pony living in a large city filled to the brim with the rich and famous, and if you would let me, I would like to share with you the tale of a large and talentless unicorn that became the pupil of the ruler of Equestia, Princess Celestia, and how he came to run his own clinic in the city of wonder and enchantment.
During my younger years, I came out of the prestigious Med-Magic School of Canterlot wanting to be the best doctor I could be. Unfortunately at the time I thought that being the best of the best meant being renown in the medical profession for my research, and by working for the royal family. Mainly though, I wanted to be the personal doctor to Princess Celestia, as I had always been somewhat infatuated with her beauty and power. I know, I know, shes a few thousands of years old, but isn't age just a number? With the help of my favorite professor, I met the princess and became her next pupil. Since then, I’ve lived in the castle with these two alicorns for what seems like many … many years. It’s any colt’s dream come true right? Oh how I was wrong. These wrongs are starting to add up, by the way.
You might be asking yourself right about now what had happened to her other pupil, Twilight Sparkle. Well about a year before Celestia chose me as her next pupil, Twilight had become famous all over Equestria after the news spread of her and her friends defeating Nightmare Moon and the Ursa Minor through every social media available to ponykind. I remember, way back when those stories first got out, and was completely surprised to hear of how a little purple unicorn and her friends defeated an ancient evil that even Celestia herself couldn’t stop. I also remember reading a certain quote in an article that the Equestrian Inquisitor published that said “If friendship was all that needed to vanquish the vicious mistress of the night, then it sounds like to this pony that Celestia was one lonely alicorn unfit to rule.” Let’s just say it got me madder than an applebucker in a cherry orchard, but I digress. After these stories got out, Twilight and her friends went into seclusion to avoid dealing with one of the unfortunate side effects of being famous, dealing with the paparazzi. (With the exception of Rarity, who in one year, was able to use the attention to expand and establish her business.) Being the colt that I am, and from what I had seen plastered all over Equestria detailing their social life and other irrelevant information, let’s just say I wouldn’t wish it on anypony.
How did I become her pupil?
Slow down on the questions, y’all giving me a headache.
In college, I met a professor by the name of W. Bottom. He was the pony who taught me a lot of what I know about being a surgeon. Eventually, I chose him to be my advisor, and we became close friends. He knew everything about me, whereas I thought I knew everything about him. I had told him about my foal-hood crush on Celestia and how I wanted to become the Royal Doctor, which I wouldn’t have ever done if I knew that he was well aquainted with the princess, and he got an idea, a maniacal diabolic idea.
One day, trotting to see my advisor for one of our daily afternoon meetings, we met outside the door to his office and he told me sompony was waiting in there for me, a certain mare who would be delighted to see me. Oh Celestia, was I in for a surprise. No really, the mare waiting inside for me was not a mare at all, but an alicorn, a certain alicorn that went by the name of Celestia. This princess waiting inside for me wanted to find out why a large unicorn like me, with little to no magical power, had a crossed scalpel and caduceus for a cutie mark. She may not have been the most capable princess out of the two sisters in the subject of medicine, but even she knew that doctors needed magical ability to do their work, and a lot of it. She had later told me that she was also a bit annoyed that day when she had come to take time out of her busy day to see this little pony as a favor to one of her old friends, Professor W. Bottom. I love the hay outta ya man, but one day I will slap the smug off your face for messing with my feelings towards the princess like that. All that’ll be left of that smile will be a small black puddle on the floor.
So during our one-on-one meeting… she did some things that normal pony’s would call inappropriate of a ruler. This princess who raised the sun every day, this ruler of a nation, acted like a little filly, a powerful and conniving filly that ruled over all of Equestria.
As soon as I walked through the door, she could see right through my blushing self as she told me to take a seat in front of her desk that she stood so highly above. So this is the regal presence of a princess, I stated to myself. She proceeded to ask me some questions about me, and why I was so passionate to become a doctor. My face became as red as the sun she herself raises everyday as I began to give her some details of my life.
“So, it seems that you’re not well versed in meeting etiquette. You’re supposed to tell me your name and a little about yourself as soon as you walk through the door. It’s fine though, just remember that little bit of advice for many of the other meetings that you will definitely have in your life. No, go ahead and tell me a little bit about yourself my good colt.” she says while smiling at me, trying to reduce some of the tension hanging in the air.
“I-I’m so sorry your highness, my name is Doc. I’m a graduate of the University, I ha-have my undergraduate degree in Biology and Pre-Med, and I’m earning my ma-masters’ in Pony-Focused Biology.
“So Doc, tell me a little bit about where you came from, and about how you received your cutie mark?”
“Well princess, from birth, I always had a p-poor amount of magic that I could barely use to lift a two pound object, much less heal any kind of scratch or bruise. Let’s just say, I was an oddity. Even though my mom was a world renowned d-doctor, and my father who was gifted in pyrokinesis, I had no magical talent. I will always remember hearing as a little foal that children of magically gifted parents would be predisposed to having magical talent as well, and that it may just take some time for it to mature. I al-always held hope that my situation would change though, that maybe I would get my ma-magic when I finally found my cutie mark. Through a series of unfortunate events, I finally found my flank symbol during a middle school tussle with just one of the schoolyard bullies I had in my life. You think with somepony as large as I wa-was, that the other foals wouldn’t want to mess with me. Boy was I wrong.”
“Well how do you like that, no-magic here thinks he can stand up to me, Stomper?”
“Ahm tired of you messin’ with me and the o-others all the time. Ah just figured somepony ought-ta knock ya down a peg,” I said as menacingly as I could, running my hoof through the dirt.
“It’s your funeral pipsqueak,” Stomper said as he turned his flank around to kick me. I figured that’s the first thing an idiot of an earth pony would do, so I stepped back and let him buck the poor space of air that once surrounded my face.
“You’re an earth pony with no ma-magic, Ahm a unicorn with no magic. wa-we’re essentially the same, ‘cept I got a horn.
“You see that’s, where you’re wrong biggun’. I got these legs of mine,” he interrupts himself as he poorly tries to buck my hoofs out from under me, “to make up for havin’ no magic. You’re about as useless as shark out of water.”
“I don’t want to fight ya Stomp, but if ya want to keep bu-bullyin’ me,” I said, mustering up all the magic I had. “Then ya gonna have ta earn it!” I closed my eyes, feeling the magic settle around my horn, creating a green silhouette that I knew of so fondly. I then galloped at him as fast as my little hoofs would go, not really thinking what would inevitably happen next.
And here I thought that I was going to be a hero of the school. That I would be the one to finally end the reign of tyranny that Stomper had brought with his transfer, that the fillies would see me, not as a useless unicorn, but as somepony powerful and coltly enough to have their respect and admiration. Too bad those thoughts of grandeur ended pretty quickly as I opened my eyes to see Stomper’s flank as he was rearing back to buck me in the face.
“Sooo sorry buckaroo, try again when you’re worth my time.” He utters through that buck teethed smirk of his, letting go of all the power he had stored in his rear hoofs. __________________________________________________________
“Even though I lost the fight to my foal-hood bully, some good did end up coming out of that horrific day; I had finally got my cutie mark. That day, I knew that my pu-purpose in life was to help other ponies in need (a realization brought around by having the school nurse Ms. Redheart tend to my broken nose that day), that I should follow Stomper’s example, work with what little power I did have and not worry about power I di-didn’t have. Although I didn’t know at the time, nor did I really care, that most doctors in Equestia used magic that was way out of my league to heal their patients, I worked very hard over many years to co-compensate for my lack of magic.”
Holding a look of slight amusement at me the entire time I told my heartfelt story, Celestia continued with the battery of questions. “My my, it seems you have had a hard childhood. Tell me then, how did a colt like you with little magic plan to practice medicine?”
“It wasn’t until college that I found out that th-there was another way to treat ponies without the need of heightened magical ability. As I studied for my first midterms in college, I found an odd and dusty tome in the medical section of the Canterlot library. This book summarized the pr-practices of a strange type of medical ponies in the medicine field that called themselves surgeons. From what I could read from the dusty old book, they were me-medical ponies that specialized in the use of bone saws, potions, and other instrumentation. It continued to say that their specialty may cause their patients to heal slightly slower than regular magical cures in the long run, but the treatment could also be performed faster while requiring less manpower and energy of the doctors. There was one requirement though for this specialty, that the doctor must have precise control over their instruments, or risk severe complications from the procedures.”
“It seems like you found a way to pursue your dream. I’m sorry for interrupting, go ahead with your story Doc.”
“Ce-Certainly princess. Th-This was one of those turning points in life I had always heard about from other ponies my age. I had finally found the means to execute my purpose in life. My parents and teachers were right, while my magic didn’t increase with maturity, my disability did help to guide and teach me from a young age that while my power wasn’t strong, it was precise, and with my training and hard work, I was able to use my power for long periods of time. That endurance was what I needed to save as many ponies’ lives as I could out on the field during times of war, or even performing time-consuming surgeries that would take other doctors weeks of magical treatment by themselves.
The sad thing was, surgery courses had long ago been phased out by the undergraduate college, and was only offered for the graduate students as a sort of “history class” that they could take in order to fill up their needed credit hours. These classes were taught by Professor Bottom, and even though I still don’t think he could perform these surgeries himself nor would I trust him to do so, he is a great historian that has always been very helpful in my education. The professor always says he saw amazing talent in me all those years ago, and from then on has always helped me to realize my dream and become the first surgeon of Equestria in over twelve generations.”
“Sounds like quite a feat. I’m glad you found somepony like the professor to help you on your way to becoming a surgeon. I’m surprised you were able to motivate him. I don’t think he would ever get up out of bed in the mornings if it wasn’t for his need of bits to put a roof over his head. I trust his lack of initiative will not rub off on you, will it?
Will I become lazy like him, she ask? pfft.
She’s so wonderful and thoughtful of my well-being.
Although I was doing a pretty good job at keeping my internal bipolar dialogue in check, I was pretty embarrassed from having my royal crush quiz me even more on the little details of my life. At this point I just wanted to run from the room with my tail between my legs, hoping that the professor didn’t tell her about that. Unlucky for me though, she started to tire of small talk, and began to address the pink elephant in the room. “So tell me, why do you want to work exclusively for my family? I think I am a little more than capable of healing my own self and others better than you could, and already have plenty of other royal guard medics that can contribute if the need arises. Tell me, why I should hire you when you get out of Med-Magic school, suffice it to say you can even pass the board interview with your little… problem. Now tell me, why do I need you?”
Even though I know now that she didn’t mean it as threatening as I had taken it during that moment, it stressed this laid back pony to no end. Something within my brain snapped, and although it wasn’t a psychotic snap, at was a snap that brought with it a curtain of confidence and calmness. With my newfound clarity, and after what seemed like hours to me, I proceeded to lie back in my chair and think about how to reply to her.
“To be honest, you don’t need me. You’re a powerful alicorn, with more magic than you can shake a stick at. When I see the things you’ve done, easily banishing another princess with almost the same power as you to the moon, I can’t see why you’d ever need me. I’ll tell you what though, while you may not need me, you want me. Using the information I’ve gathered during our meeting, you know little of healing magic’s, and nothing about my area of practice, so let me tell you a little something. In a peaceful world that uses raw magic to heal others, there’s been no need of my barbaric practices of cutting open another pony to save their life. It’s seen as gore-y and uncouth when a team of medical ponies can just as easily heal the patient without touching them, While this method may lead to a somewhat quicker recovery, instantaneous in some cases, it still resides under the law of magic. Ethereal energies can easily backfire if improperly set up or if used for the wrong disease, causing more injury to the patient, sometimes causing irreversible magic damage to internal organs. My cutie mark is a crossed scalpel and caduceus, which means my purpose in this world, is to cut ponies open and save their lives. I am (what was once called) a surgeon, I quickly go straight to the source of the problem, I solve that problem, and then I get my patients back to living a normal life. While my methods are better suited for earth ponies that have somewhat more resistance to magical healing, I wish to work under the p-princess. My craft is a dying breed, being phased out by a peaceful world becoming more magically advanced. If I were t-to work under you, it might secure me a few mentees who wish to become surgeons as well, should it e-ever need to be practiced en masse. I also know more cures for diseases than an alicorn like you would c-care to know of… s-should you ever need them. I can also provide you sound medical advice while commanding and creat-t-ting an infrastructure of your royal guard’s medics, keeping them up t-to date in their respective fields. So, I ask you, even though you may not need me, do you want somep-pony like me?”
I thought to myself, Where did all that come from? Why don’t I ever get this confident when I need it, and did I just talk to the ruler of all of Equestria as if she were a regular mare? This is the end, this is the end for sure. I’m going to be straight banished for this one. Oh well, I lived a happy life of being a professional student.Wait, what am I saying?
“You have talked to the ruler of this land in a manner of familiarity not even my highest-ranked advisors would use. Here you, a lowly colt, dare speak to me as if I were an equal. Many other ponies before you have been banished or imprisoned for less than what you have just done, but yes, you are right. I am an alicorn who specializes in battle magic and raising the sun, not of magics pertaining to healing diseases or injuries. I know little of healing magic as you found out, as I only know enough to get by with what my magic lets me. While I am a powerful alicorn, a powerful enough alicorn to disintegrate you right where you stand, anything more than simple healing spells seem to elude me. Yet, now that you know this, I can’t let you go free now can I? If the public were to find out that their princess doesn’t know as much as she lets on, there would be riots. You understand, correct?”
Oh well, just end this pathetic life. I have no marefriend, I’m a professional student, and the only thing I plan to eat later tonight is a cup of ramen noodles in a dingy little apartment. I’ve got nothing else to live for. Oh well, at least now I won’t have to pay my student debts. I’m pretty there’s some clause in the contracts for this sort of thing. As I cringed to prepare myself for what her rage held in store, she lowered herself gently and whispered into my ear.
“I guess the only thing I can do,” the princess started to say. “The only thing I can do is to pay for your education, and hire you on to work for my family... if you graduate,” She said as she moved away from me, playfully smacking me upside the head with her tail. “You know, I like you Doc. You seem to have something about you that I just find, rather enjoyable. Your honesty is refreshing to someone like me who has had to constantly deal with politics her whole life, and while your honesty may seem to some to be a weakness, it is also your greatest strength. No patient will fully trust their doctor who is dishonest with them, the same goes for your subordinates. So yes, I do think you will make a great doctor of the royal family. From now on, my life Doc, is in your hands." She bows and smiles warmly towards me. Never had I felt so happy in my life as I did at that moment."Although, I have never needed the use of a Royal Surgeon before, especially with Luna around. She was always the one in the family who showed interest and ability in the medical field, and with her return, I cannot tell you to command the royal medics. That will be her decision, and you can always talk with her and ask if she will let you. In fact, I will be bringing you to the palace today in order to discuss the terms of this deal. Even though Luna is a stubborn believer in the benefits of magical healing, I have a feeling that you two will get along… eventually. From this day on, I will take you as my pupil. All of my students are to stay in my residence until they graduate from their schooling (no excuses) and are allowed unfettered use of the royal library. Who knows, you might even find my other student, Twilight Sparkle, there from time to time. Unlike you, she’s learned all that she can from here and has moved away in order to pursue her studies. Also, it’ll be nice to have somepony new around the castle. I do hope that you will agree to our little deal.” With a barely noticeable wink, she waited patiently for my answer.
“Is this an Order?” I ask.
“No, but I can make it one if need be.”
“Then I guess I have no other choice?”
“I would have to say no, you don't.”
“Well then…what the hay! Sure.”
“Language! I’m still your princess!” She scoffs.
“Wow, and I can’t believe I used to have a c-crush on you.”
“You still do.”
On that day, almost 15 years ago, I became the student of the royal family. Some ponies say I had it all handed to me, I like to tell those ponies to shove it in their cake-holes before they talk about something they don’t know anything about. It was torture living in that castle. Celestia always had wanted to harass me, usually picking the worst times to do so. And Luna, for the first few weeks, hated me… right down to the core.
Wow, I didn't think you'd come in this early. I swear, you only come to this clinic to hear these long winded stories of mine, rather than actually getting your internship hours. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, I'm just saying that we still got work to do around here.
Alright alright, since you did come in early, I'll tell you more of my story. Now, where was I? Oh yeah, I remember…
_________________________________________________
As the princess began to open the door to the room, that sly old professor of mine fell through the doorway face first at Celestia’s feet. Acting as if nothing happened, he jumps back up and brushes the dust off his gray and black checkered sweatervest.
“So sorry to have interrupted your little parting here, but I just swung by to see how my little student is doing, you didn’t frazzle him too much did you princess?”
“I wouldn’t dream of it professor, but you’ll be happy to know… well… why don’t you tell him Doc?
“CAN YOU BELIEVE IT DOC?!” I stated to my beloved professor as I hopped like a little school-filly.
“Can I believe what son? I swear if I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand and one times, start from the beginning!”
“I’m the princess’s new pupil professor! Can you believe it? Finally my dream came true! I gotta tell everypony!” As I started to hop away trying to find anyone I could in the immediate vicinity to spill the beans, I left the professor and princess to have a little time for themselves to catch up on things since they last met. After trotting down the hall and eventually finding a very scared mare with horned rimmed glasses to announce my new living arraignments, I began to think who I should tell next. The first thought that came to mind was to tell the family, but since my parents had died a few years back in a carriage accident, and I had no other living relatives to speak of, so that option was quickly dismissed. Friends were next on the list, but since both of my best buds lived back home, I doubted I could tell them the good news in person.
I’ll just send them a letter later and make sure to see them sometime soon. Hmm, I guess the only other friend I can think of would be Derpy, but we haven’t on the best of terms since the last time I tried to apologize to her for when she gave me a muffin for my birthday. It wasn’t my fault though! What kind of mailmare leaves a muffin in a mailbox thinking I would get it? I’m a college student for Celestia’s sake, the only mail I get is credit card offers and bills for loans I can’t pay back. Not much motivation to check the mailbox every morning, but boy was she mad when she found out the next day. Continuing the lazy trot back to the room to pack my things, I just so happened across a grey little pegasus haphazardly trying to shove more mail into my already overstuffed mailbox.
“Well speak of the devil, having a little problem there Derpy?” Instantly turning her head towards me, she then pushes the envelopes into my face and resigns to stare at the ground with the most amount of focus I’ve ever seen from her. Well, at least she gave up on forcing more mail in there.
“C’mon now Derpy, I haven’t seen ya in a while. When I do see ya, you usually fly off before I even have a chance to talk to ya.”
She looks at me for a second with those wall-eyes of hers, before giving up to stare at the ground again to watch herself shuffle her front hoof against the dirt. She never was much the talker.
“If I said it once, I’ll say it a thousand times, I’m sorry for leaving that muffin outside all day. Can you forgive me?”
“I’m not the devil.” Yes! She’s finally talking! “Neither am I irate that you left it outside all day.”
“Really?”
“I was distressed that you did not get to enjoy it. I… uhhh.” Blushing while she zones out, before picking up the intensity of the staring contest directed at the grass. That poor, poor grass. “I spent the night before making you a whole batch for your birthday. Yet when Dinky and I had accidentally gotten into them that morning…Well, there was only one left. If only we didn’t engorge ourselves on them, then I could have given you…”
“Ditzy!” She looked up at me with those watery amber eyes of hers as I try my darndest to pick her up out of that shame spiral.
“It’s ok, I’m not mad or nuthin’. It’s the thought that counts! In fact, I’m flattered that you would spend the whole night cooking for me.”
“Are you...sure?”
“Of course. Besides, I’m a cupcake colt myself.”
“Hmph, well… as long as I breathe, you will never receive a cupcake from me.”
“I’ll accept that muffin with pride then. Next time though, please don’t put it in the mailbox. I still can’t get the smell of stale muffins out of there.”
“So that’s what that stench was. Usually, muffins don’t last long enough in my household to go stale. Anyways, will I stumble upon you tomorrow then Doc?” She asks me with her eyes starting to divert themselves from their focus point.
“Actually, I’m moving to the castle today. Which reminds me, can I get you to deliver something to the castle tomorrow for me?”
“Well, it is my job.” Speaking through a full on wall eyed smirk.
“I’ll take that as a yes then Ms. Sarcastic. Wait right here.” ___________________________________________________________
As my little dumbfounded self trotted through the lovely and heavily overgrown castle courtyard with one of the rulers of Equestia , I began to feel as if I had maybe made the wrong decision. (You know that feeling when your’re walking through a beautiful garden, only to question why someone like you is there in the first place? Yeah, I hate that feeling too.)
Maybe I should have never agreed to meet the princess (Darn you Prof. W.Bottom!)
Maybe I should just run like hell. She’d never catch me if I hid in the Everfree Forest, Right?!
Come on brain, she’d never let go of her new toy that easily! Aren’t you supposed to be the smart one in this relationship? Wait... why does she even want me in the first place? I’m not extraordinary. I'm a huge procrastinator, my magic sucks, and my medicine is seen by most as being 'crude,' at best. So why does she want ME as her pupil?
As this internal dialogue raged inside my head, I failed to see the princess stop dead in her tracks a while back. As I was staring into the ground with enough force to cause an earthquake, as I’m sure her other pupil can do without a second thought, I slammed my head into the hard metal bars of the steel gate.
With the excruciating pain that usually accompanies ramming your skull into a hard metal gate, I looked up to rub my sore horn with my hoof. As I glanced up, I immediately was in awe of the craftsmanship of this intricately carved gray and gold castle that stood before me. Incredible ponies that had changed the fate of Equestia were crafted into the sides of the gargantuan palace, yet don’t you worry your pretty little head, the two main alicorns that controlled the whole place were engraved into the front of the castle, in all their majesticness.
While looking up at the structure that towered far above me, I failed to notice the ten or so palace guards pointing their razor-sharp instruments of war directly towards my already bruised face. Their eyes peered out from under their helmets, ready to tear me a new one should I be deemed a threat to her majesty. Luckily, the princess magic’d me away from them and to her side, just in the nick of time.
“Whatcha’ thinkin’ ‘bout?” she asks me.
Yeah, don’t make fun of a southern drawl if you can’t do it right. Clearly there’s too many missing letters there, it’s like you’re trying too hard, ya gotta let it flow naturally.
“Now’s not th-the time Princess! Please tell ‘em I’m wi-with you, and to stop pointing their… pointy things at me”
“That’s quite enough guards, thank you for the help.”
As they put away their weapons, I stand on my hind hooves and throw open my arms. “Now what’re you gonna do big ponies?”
“So it seems it requires somewhat of a…”
“What’re you talking about?” I ask
“I can tell you later, once I figure it out more myself.” That’s Celestia for you, always keeping a pony in the dark.
As we began to trot through the main gates and into the courtyard, I decided, that it wasn’t worth it to me anymore to fight her about whatever she was planning. Besides, she seemed like the type of alicorn to not tell anypony... well... anything until she deemed it appropriate to do so. “Fine, just take me wherever it was you wanted to take me.”
“Cheer up my little pony! I’m sure you’ll love it here. I think you’ll find it a more than appropriate and conducive learning environment than that cheap, worn-down apartment you had.”
“Hey! It had character!”
“I’m sure it did,” She mocks. “Besides, you’ll be living with two lovely princesses, two lovely princesses who just happen to rule over all of Equestria. Think of how many colts would jump at the opportunity I’m giving you," She snickers.
“It’s an opportunity alright,” I reply. “I’m forced to live with an old-as-hay alicorn who loves to make trouble for me, and another who I haven’t even met yet. Yet, from what you’ve told me, she doesn't seem like she’ll be the spitting image of 'hospitality'."
"Don't worry Doc, I'm sure she'll get used to having you around sometime."
Snickering to no end, Celestia finally gives up on tormenting poor ‘lil me as we trot through the well-decorated and emblazoned palace doors.
“Ok” Celestia begins to speak, trying her best to be serious around me. “First, I want to introduce you to Luna. Since it is almost dusk, she should already be awake and ready to raise the moon. If not, she’ll get the royal wake-up treatment. This will also happen to you too, if one of us happens to catch you sleeping in,” She smiles at me maliciously.
“Yeah yeah, I’m scared. Where will I be sleeping?”
“Don’t worry, I will not place you in Twilight’s old room. There are plenty of other rooms to choose from here in this large castle. As for now, I will place you in a room located on a less frequented hallway. So you may study without interference and can keep some privacy that I hear colts your age need. Although, you can always move to another room if you so wish, and what a coincidence! There just so happens to be a occupancy open right next to your favorite princess,” Again, smiling mischievously down at me.
Doesn’t she know I have feelings as well? All a bully like her just wants is a response from their victim, and I shouldn’t, NEIGH! I will not give it to her.
“Oh great! There’s a room beside Luna? Why didn’t you tell me before?”
Hah! Burned her haystacks! Ahhh buck me, I’m pathetic. Sorry brain, I am a complete and utter disappointment to you.
Seemingly able to read my mind, she spreads those large wings of hers and begins to laugh uncontrollably. It was the kind of laughter that seems to be infectious, much like how a snorting mare can make a seemingly average joke into one that has the whole room on the floor. Her laughing had me laughing, and my laughing had the stick-in-the-mud guards laughing.
Sadly, all things have to come to an end, and this end came with a main course of no oxygen supply with a side of severe abdominal distress. As I lay down on the floor weeping over my latest defeat handed to me from the princess, I was greeted by a midnight blue alicorn who seemed to have the tell-tale signs of just having woken up from a good powernap. Being a college student, I’m the expert when it comes to identifying a good powernap when I saw one.
“Hello, my name is Princess Luna, what thine is yours colt?”
I bow respectfully before her.“Why can’t it ever do that for me?” Celestia adds.
“She seems to act more like a royal princess, not a tormentor like the one who raises the Sun. I’d rather you just call me D-Doc, if you would be so kind your highness. I’m Celestia’s new pupil.”
Why dost thou speakest so informally around my sister? She should be given the same respect as thou showest to us and nothing less.” She vehemently stares at me.
Well, if that glare wouldn’t turn my brain into hyperdrive, I wouldn’t know what could. So as I began to feel this unfamilliar flow of confidence take hold, I stood up from my bowing position and began chose my next words carefully.
“I respect Celestia a great deal Princess Luna, I just tend to show it in different ways. ‘sides, don’t let her lie to you, she loves the attention. I would take a guess that you know that just as much as I do.”
Continuing to glare down at this strange pony before her, embedding as much hate as she could into the strange colt, Luna stormed off to perform her nightly duties.
Coming back to my senses, I ask myself, Oh hay… what have I done?
Celestia looks away from me (probably to avoid me seeing her snickering) and after a moment; she says “That went as well as I would have expected.”
“Sometimes, I wish you were wrong.”
“Now Doc, cheer up! I’m starting to hate that phrase right about now. I’m sure things will work themselves out in the morning. Besides, I still need to show you your living quarters. Guards, take him to the east wing, hall seven. He can choose any room he wants.”
She smiles at me “Although I suggest the room at the end, it has a spectacular view of Canterlot with a somewhat large balcony. I’m sure you will make great use of it.” She says, before leaving to go see what was in store for dinner that night.
I bucking love balconies! How does she know these things? The guard pony began to lead me down the many corridors of the castle, while I made sure to find landmarks so I could navigate my way back to main hall. Finally we reach the room in which Celestia had suggested, and it was… beautiful. It was a somewhat convex loft style room, with plenty of furniture and rugging to make the place feel homey and comfortable. While being somewhat dark during the night, the sunroof in the center of the room would allow plenty of natural lighting during the day. There also stood a fireplace in the middle of the room, surrounded by a half couch ring facing the back of the space. After taking in the sights of my new room, I started to wonder where that suggested balcony was. I began to trot over to the end of the room, sliding open the glass paneled doors that revealed a large wooden balcony with three large wooden lay-back chairs. The same chairs you would find at any Amish pony store. Have you ever been to one of their stores? Trust me, you’ll never leave that place without at least considering relinquishing a tidy sum of your bits for a few of their lawn chairs. While I admired the aspects of my new room, the guard pony left without saying a word. Luckily I caught up to pony and was able to thank him properly. “Thank you sir.”
“You’re welcome, but you should probably know I’m a mare.”
I just stared at the guard, confused from the declaration. FINISH HIM
“Considering the population distribution of most pony towns is close to 70% females to 30% males, I suggest you assume the same of the royal guard population.”
“So… you’re saying that I’m pretty much surrounded by mares in this castle that could kick my flank all the way up and down these empty hallways?”
“Pretty much sir, and considering you just pissed off half of the royal guard from upsetting Princess Luna earlier, and the other half from disrespecting Princess Celestia with your obnoxious jokes. Just… look, I'm trying to be nice you and let you know all this beforehand, but with all due respect, you’re screwed sir.”
“Do you at least like me?”
And without answering, the pony continued her march down the hallway. Looking once more out the balcony, I begin to walk out of the room myself. Might as well see what’s for dinner.
So, as I was saying. The princess had left me hanging on the proverbial fish hook of life, literally. Luna was not too fond of me and my behavior towards her, and the guards wanted my head on one of their shiny new pikes. Worst of all, I was living in a house full of mares. Now, I know your thinking, "But Doooooooc, that last part doesn’t sound aaaall that bad." Well, when your a colt that spent as much time as I did secluded in an apartment studying his flank off, it doesn't leave much opportunity to go out and talk to the guys, much less the fillies.
Did I really hate living with them that much? Nah, in reality, I loved it. As Celestia had said, not many colts could say they lived with the ponies that ruled the entire country. After Luna had warmed up to me, we became closer than peas and carrots. With her on my side we were finally able to combat the evil torment of princess Celestia, and save the world from tyranny and blah-blah-blah. First though, I’d like to tell you of how I became the first colt to experience the zero G weightlessness that accompanied being sent straight to the moon. _______________________________________________________
“Get enough to eat?” Princess Celestia asks as I began to stir from my comfortable stone plate of food on my comfortable stone table, in the rather comfortable stone dining hall.
“Ugh, what…” I know, just a lyrical word smith most mornings. “Wait…” I ask groggily, trying to pin-point my current location. After pulling a good amount of thoroughly brown apple peelings off my face, I look out the window to see the sun shining brightly in the middle of the sky. “Oh horse feathers, what time is it?” I ask her. “A good while past midday, and...” She glances at the food crumbs on my face. “It seems that not only is my new pupil narcoleptic, he also sleeps well past noon.”
“Well, judging by the way you woke me up I guess I didn’t get the ‘Royal Wake up Treatment’.”
“Well, I figured by you had a long enough night. The cook came to see me earlier saying it looked as if my pupil had something troubling him. Also, there is no royal treatment on the weekends.”
“Well great! At least I don’t have to add that to my list of worries.”
“What’s wrong Doc?”
“Oh, I don’t know, how about the fact that your sister hates me and the very ground that dares to support me? How about the fact that your royal guards secretly want me to jump off that beautiful balcony of mine you letting me use? Well, I don’t know about you, but I just can’t see getting along with these p-people anytime soon, much less the rest of my seemingly short life.”
Celestia bent her tall-self down to my height, quite a feat for someone as tall as her, and tried her best to console me. “I can always talk to the g—”
“N-No!” I exclaim. “Thanks for the offer, but I can’t have you saving my flank whenever something bad happens,” I exhale. “If I’m one day going to advise Luna and the Army, acting in my position as the Royal Surgeon, then I need to earn their respect myself.”
“Well, I understand, but I will always be here to help you if you should ever need it. Remember, you are my pupil, and I will not have my subjects, much less my guards, give you any grief.”
“Wow, what happened to you last night? It seems like you’re a different Celestia today, an alter-ego of the other Celestia I met the other day. What gives?”
“Your troubles are my troubles, and I cannot stand anypony who dares give me any problems, lest they face the wrath of the keeper of the sun. Now, how about we do something to take your mind off everything?”
“What would that be?”
“I think you should accompany Luna and I on one of our elemental raisings. You can join me as I raise the sun, and it would serve to give you and Luna some private time to talk things out while she brings up the moon. How does that sound?”
“That’s…. not a bad plan. I can see why you’ve ruled the country for as long as you have, without running the place into the ground.”
“Get on now, before I change my mind about letting you go un-harrased. Now, don’t you have some else to do today, like studying?” She smiles softly at me.
Smiling back, I get off my chair and begin to explore the castle. As I walk down the hall for what seems like hours, clearly lost, I hear somepony trotting behind me. I look back to see a purple unicorn with black and purple highlighted bangs just above her eyes. She wasn’t the most memorable mare I’ve ever seen, but I felt as If I had seen her somewhere before, somewhere like on television, yet I just couldn’t put my finger on it. Well, at any rate, it seems like she knows the castle better than I do. I slow my pace to see if I could talk to the lone mare, and see if I could find out where the library was in this Celestia-forsaken place.
“Hey miss, do you know...?
“Who are you? I haven’t seen you around here before, and it doesn’t look like you really know where you’re going. Do you belong here,” the mare asks as she backs away slowly. “Do I need to go get the guards?”
“No-no-no-no, please don’t! If they hear a mare screaming all alone with a colt, I’m going to get a-axed. No trial, no jury, I’m just going to get plain ‘ol axed. What can I do to prove to you that I-I belong here?”
“I assume that if you belonged here, you would at least of gotten a tour around the castle. In fact, you look like a scared foal. Shouldn’t you see about getting someone to show you around the place?”
“Well, I never got a tour of the castle when I arrived. Luckily, I found the dining hall only after trotting around the place for a few hours. Since it looks like you know this place pretty well, I’d sure like it if I could be s-shown around by a nice pretty mare such as yourself.” Yeah I know, such a smooth stallion. I also didn’t want to see my favorite palace guards having to force themselves to put my poor flank into ground for daring to talk with this absurd mare, because they’d just hate to have to do that.
“I guess I can,” The strange filly considers as she pulls a scroll and quill out of thin air, examining the piece of parchment. “I’m just taking a walk around, wasting some a few hours before attending a meeting.”
“Alright! First though, I’d like to know your name.”
“My name is Twilight Spark—”
“YOU ARE THETWILIGHT SPARKLE?” I can see her take a step back, stunned by the sudden increase of volume. “Wow, I’d never thought I would see the Princess’s other pupil so soon after moving to the castle.”
“Moving to the castle? New pupil!?” She sits down on the cold floor, her eyes beginning to tear up.
“W-Whats wrong?”
Sniffling, “Why does Celestia have a new pupil? Was I not good enough for her? Is that why she sent me away these last few years to study outside the castle?”
I couldn’t stand to see Twilight sad, and it made me feel awful to see this incredibly powerful unicorn in front of me reduced to tears.
“Twilight, don’t cry, please don’t cry. I’m sure Celestia didn’t send you away because she didn’t like you, I’m sure she sent you away to learn about the world. Last I had heard, the great and powerful Twilight Sparkle had made a bunch of friends in Ponyville, and that she was having the time of her life. Is what I’ve heard a lie?”
“No, but, it’s just a little unsettling that Princess Celestia would already secure a new pupil soon after my departure.” She begins to stand back up, wiping the tears off her face.
“Don’t you worry your pretty ‘lil head, I highly doubt I could ever replace you. I think you should know that Princess Celestia wouldn’t dare let me take your room, she keeps that room open for you just in case you ever decide to come back. It’s fine with me though, it’s not nearly as cool as my room,” I muster up the brightest smile I could, “so don’t feel down girl. Besides… hasn’t It been a few years since you’ve left?”
“Well, no, but thank you— oh my gosh, I’m so rude. I don’t think I even asked your name stranger,” Twilight asks as she finally begins to smile, a slight smudge on the bottom of her eye.
I didn’t think someone like her would wear makeup, guess it must be an important meeting. “Oh don’t you mind that a-at all, the names’ Doc. I’ve been recruited by Celestia to become the first Royal Surgeon ever known.” “I think I’ve read about surgeons in an old book I once came across in the castle library. Aren’t surgeons supposedly obsolete now?” She asks quizzically.
“It sounds like a bad profession when you put it in that way. But yeah, what I do is considered an old and unneeded. I’m just glad I found someone who knows about it, it’s nice to talk to someone who actually has an idea of what a surgeon is.”
“Oh yeah, I only came across that information about surgeons by accident while looking up a way to…” Twilight casually glances out the window, suddenly becoming panicked. “If you still want that tour, it’ll have to be quick, but first I’ve got to go to the little mare’s room for a minute. Then I can show you the more interesting places around here. We’ll go see the library and then—”
“Wait, Is The Twilight Sparkle trying to take me o-out on a date?”
Twilight looks surprised and a bit offended. “I think I should get the guards...”
“NO-NO-NO, please don’t! I’m sorry, too soon, too soon.” I nervously spat out, hoping to never have to have to discuss with the guards why I was harassing their princesses’ previous student.
Twilight laughs as she sees me so distraught. “I’m kidding, you sure are nervous around here.”
“Oh great, it seems that some of the princess has rubbed off on you. Maybe I should quit before I go insane too.”
“Well, It’s not as if I wouldn’t like to be the only pupil again.” She says with a wide smirk.
“Quiet you, before I feel the need to cut a pony. I don’t have a scalpel on my flank for nothing.”
“Get a move on,” She nudges my backside. “If you don’t hurry up, I’ll leave you here to wonder the halls.” Twilight finally leads us back to the main hallway, where she can use the bathroom and re-adjust her makeup. Girls sure do spend a lot of time in the bathroom, amirite fellas? After easily spending fifteen minutes in the little mares room, we began the tour. First on the list was the library, Go figure, followed by the princess’s chambers and the courtyard. It was… a very informative trip at the least. Twilight was very familiar with the castle from all the history books she had read. Sadly, this run around the castle had to end when Twilight had to leave for her meeting. After asking her for the quickest route to the east hallway, we parted ways and promised to meet up another time. It was a fun outing, and I’d hope we could hang out again real soon.
Once I had gotten to my room, I went out on the balcony to relax. From Twilight’s previous tour, I had noticed that my room was the only one who had a porch to it. I don’t know why I noticed a small detail like that while ignoring larger ones, but it made me feel as If I was special. Anyways, as I lay back into the chair, I was greeted by one of those larger details that I regularly fail to recognize. There was Princess Luna, slid down all the way into one of my, ahem, their chairs. After stewing for a minute or two, I finally roused up the courage to ask her why the hay was she there.
“Hey Princess,” I ask, not daring to move a muscle in this comfortable chair of mine.
“Good day… Doc,” She says, not moving an inch of muscle either, content to slump down in her chair.
“Beautiful day out here today, huh?” Yeah, I’m the master of mindless small-talk.
“It is colt, we like to enjoy my sister’s work from time to time, and this balcony serves as the best view in the entire castle. It used to be a place for where one, such as thineself, could compose and decompress after a day of business. We would like to keep it that way, if thou would not mind.”
“By all means princess, what’s mine is yours… literally. You’ve given me so much; yet I can’t express how grateful I am. So if you ever even slightly feel the need to use this place, go ahead. If you’d like to come in though, I ask that you knock first.” I laugh, trying to make her feel at ease here. I actually want this porch of mine to become the hangout for all of us, our own little place to escape from the world and just be able to enjoy their majesties work.
“To be honest,” Luna begins “lazing about on this balcony is not the only reason why we are here. Celestia wanted us to talk to thou about the small altercation from yesterday.” “I told her that I wanted to do this on my own, that I’d talk to you when I was ready. It seems that pony just can’t leave things well enough alone.”
The princess cringes as I mention her sister, and remembering what had happened the day before, I began operation, “Pick up the Pieces.”
“I’m sorry princess; I only have the utmost respect for you and your sister. You both dedicate your lives to what you do for this country, especially… you,” I ended nervously.
“We forgive thou, and only hope that the two of us can get along. In fact, we still do not know why our sister chose thou for a pupil. Whenever we ask her, she only mentions that we will need to speak to thou on the subject. We only remember Tia saying that we would understand better if it were to come directly from thou.” She turns her head slightly, looking me in the eyes. “So, now we ask, why did she choose a colt such as thyself?”
This is a question that I hoped would never be asked of me from her. I remember Celestia telling me that Luna was very stubborn on the whole “Healing Magic vs. Surgeon practice” idealogy, in which she just happened to be of the opposite mindset of me.
Should I tell her an outright lie? Sure I’ll be ousted later, but at least she’ll get know me first before automatically judging me. Should I just not tell her the whole truth? I could always blame it on a misunderstanding later. Or, Should I just tell her the truth and get it over with? Immediately, I felt a large curtain fall over my eyes as I blinked, letting me think about all the possible situations that could happen after telling Luna. Considering that I couldn’t bring myself to lie to anyone my whole life, why start now? It’s just too much a hassle for me to keep my story straight, so might as well spill the beans now.
“Princess Luna, the reason Celestia chose me as her newest pupil is so I can become the first Royal Doctor of Equestria. Admittedly, neither of us knows what that position may entail at this time, but I’m not in much of a hurry to find out. In all honesty, I’m not sure if my colleagues will even accept me taking the position, much less you.” Sighing at that last piece, I begin to gather myself for the hardest part.
“Why do you say that?” She looks at me expectantly.
“Luna, I really don’t want to tell you this, I rea-lly don’t, but I’m a surgeon. I can barely use my magic; much less use it to heal other ponies. I’m essentially an earth pony with a d-decorative horn.”
“We can see from thou’s resentment to tell me who you are; as it must stem from Celestia informing you of my ability. Yes, we are an alicorn gifted in the area of healing magic. Our sister and I discovered, a long time ago, that the reason we were born into the world were to be leaders of contradicting forces, thou would relate it to the yin yang philosophy of Mareasia. In this case, we are a healer whereas my sister is a warrior. While we do believe that to become a doctor one must make use of the most current forms of medicine, we can respect your decision to become surgeon. We have seen many good ponies practice your form of medicine in the dark ages past, yet we do not think you would meet the requirements of today’s society being in the position that Celestia has offered you.
“Why not,” I ask her, totally deflated by the way her answer seemed to take a turn for the worst.
“As thou well know, medicine is an ever-changing field. A pony such as thineself will seem to be behind the times, and like thou has said, it will be hard for others to respect a surgeon. To be in such a high position, thou must be able to lead and show medical ponies how to better themselves, all-the-while keeping their loyalty and respect. Just because one of the royal sisters appoints thou into a position of power, doesn’t mean thou will automatically gain their trust. Do you understand where we are coming from?”
“I don’t know. I’m still a young colt, so I wouldn’t have any clue on how to earn the trust of the older ponies I will one day reside over. I still constantly think about why Celestia chose me to be her pupil, much less to one day command part of the royal army. Even though I think about it quite a lot, I just push it to the back of my brain and just try to get through the day. I still have quite a bit of time before I actually have to fulfill my duties. Who knows? I might just grow up from all this bickering between Celestia and me, and actually prove myself to you that I deserve that position. You understand where I’m coming from?”
Oh, crap. Just like that, I told off that prissy acting princess Luna. I had stood my ground for what I believed in, and I hoped that finally I had earned my place among these two sisters.
Nope
Well, in the time that it took for her to scrunch up that little face of hers, it took equally as long to feel the strange sensation of being booted in the flank and fly off the ground that once supported me. As I flew through the atmospheres of Equestria, slowly starting to lose consciousness from the severe lack of oxygen, I thought to myself; You’d think in a magical realm like this, someone would have fixed that little oxygen problem, especially if they’re going to raise the sun and moon day-in day-out. I guess not.
