The Crazy Situation
It was an ordinary day in Ponyville. Everypony was going about their daily routines, the schoolfoals were on their way to the schoohouse (among them were the recently 'marked' Cutie Mark Crusaders and their former-bullies-turned-new-friends Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon), and shopowners were opening their stores for another day of business.
At the outskirts of the city, glittering beautifully like the crystals it was made of, was the Castle of Friendship, home of Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship, and headquarters of her and her fellow Bearers of Harmony.
Inside, the morning was going as it usually did at the castle. The six friends were at the kitchen table, enjoying a hearty breakfast of pancakes.
Of course, the meal could've gone better if some ponies would behave a little more civilized.
"Really, Rainbow Dash" Rarity said in disapproval "Do you have to be such a messy eater?"
Said Pegasus was chowing down on her stack of pancakes face first, eating like a pig with her nose buried in the pile. With an indignant snort, Rainbow pulled her syrup covered muzzle out of her meal to give the unicorn who addressed her a look.
"Hey," she said insulted "You know I get excited when we have pancakes. This is just the way I usually eat them."
"Still, Rainbow," Fluttershy said softly from Rainbow's left. "It wouldn't hurt if you ate them a little less messy."
Dash swallowed her mouthful.
"Sorry" she said as she wiped the syrup off her face, "I've been living by myself for so long, my table manners haven't really bothered me."
"That does make sense." Twilight said from her place at the table, "Unlike the rest of us who have needed to develop neater eating habits, Rainbow Dash is the only one who lives alone. I mean, Spike and I are together here at the castle."
"Sweetie Belle frequently visits me at my boutique" Rarity said.
"I, of course, live with my family at Sweet Apple Acres" Applejack imputed.
"Oh, and I'm staying with the Cakes at Sugarcube Corner!" Pinkie Pie cried excitedly.
"But what about Fluttershy?" Rainbow Dash asked as she pointed to her fellow Pegasus, "She doesn't live with anypony else."
"Yes, but I do have all my animal friends at my home." Fluttershy pointed out, "And I need to eat nicely in order to set a good example for them." What she didn't add was there were times when she did get lonely at her cottage. "You don't do the same with Tank?"
Rainbow shrugged "He's so cool with whatever I do it doesn't bother him".
"Gotta say, Ah feel sorry for yah, Dash" Applejack commented "Living all by yerself in that big cloud house. Heck, with Tank still continuing his-"
"Don't. Say. It" Rainbow Dash said threateningly.
"With him going through his thing," Applejack said carefully "you've got to be pretty lonely up there."
"Yeah" Pinkie Pie pointed out "You don't know what you're missing from living with somepony else. I'm always having fun with the Cakes over at Sugarcube Corner."
"Eh" Rainbow Dash shrugged, "I'm okay with being by myself. And when Tank comes back, things will be like they were before."
Just then, there was a knock at the front door of the castle.
"Who could that be at this time of day?" Twilight wondered as she and the others trotted to the door.
Opening the door, the six friends saw a certain crosseyed mailpony hovering outside.
"Derpy?" Twilight asked in confusion "What are you doing here?"
"I was checking to see if Rainbow Dash was here" Derpy explained. "I went to her cloudhouse and she wasn't there."
"Yeah, I'm right here, Derpy" Rainbow Dash said as she approached the Pegasus "Why do you want to see me?"
"I got an urgent letter for you" Derpy said as she pulled an envelope out of her saddlebag and passed it to Rainbow Dash, "I was told to give it to you as soon as I could."
"Well, thanks Derpy" Dash said as she inspected the letter in her hooves.
"Well, gotta go" Derpy said as she turned to leave "I have a lot more mail that needs delivering."
"Ooh, stop over at Sugarcube Corner when you're finished!" Pinkie Pie called out "I'll have a fresh batch of blueberry muffins ready by then!"
"Thanks, Pinkie! Oof!" Derpy shook her head after bumping into a tree "I've really got to do something about these screwy eyes!"
"Oh, that Derpy" Rainbow shook her head as the six friends walked back into the castle.
"What's the letter say, Rainbow?" Fluttershy asked in concern.
"Give me a moment" Rainbow Dash said as she studied the letter in her hooves. Deciding to bite the bullet, Rainbow tore the envelope open and looked at the letter.
"Huh, it's from City Hall" the cyan pegasus commented as she read, "It says they need me to come down and see them on something important as soon as possible."
"Well, if it's that important, we should probably get you over there now" Twilight said as she lead the way back to the door, "It's not good to keep government ponies waiting."
"Gee, Rainbow" Fluttershy said nervously as she walked by her fellow Pegasus, "I'm a little worried. What do you suppose this is about? Nothing bad I hope."
Rainbow Dash scoffed. "Relax, Fluttershy. They probably just want to talk to me about the weather schedule next week. I'm sure it's nothing serious."
"I'm sorry, but you're not a legal citizen of Ponyville."
"WHAT?!"
The group of six were currently at City Hall's Department of Immigration, where Rarity and Applejack were required to hold Rainbow Dash back to keep her from strangling the orange pegasus stallion behind the counter.
"What do you mean I'm not a legal citizen?!" the cyan speedster cried in outrage "I've been living here for five years and nopony said anything before!"
"Yes" the stallion said calmly "But it seems that during your friend Pinkie Pie's organizing of our records, it was discovered that your citizenship was invalid."
Rainbow Dash shot a vicious glare at the nervously smiling party pony. "You just had to be as organized as Twilight, didn't you?"
"Oopsies" was the only response Rainbow got from Pinkie.
With a sigh, Rainbow Dash turned back to the immigration's pony. "Still, how could my citizenship be invalid? I passed my citizenship test with, if you'll pardon the pun, flying colors when I moved here."
"While you did pass your test, there was an error in the approval stage" the pony said as he took out a paper and placed it on the counter.
Looking at it, the six friends saw that the paper had Dash's hoofwriting on it.
"So, this is the form that I needed to fill out to complete my citizenship" Rainbow Dash commented "What's the problem?"
"If you'll notice, you'll see you signed your name on the final line in print" the pony explained.
"Yeah, so?"
"The rules state that final signatures must be signed in cursive" the pony answered.
Rainbow Dash's jaw fell open.
"You mean just because I didn't sign my name in some silly, fancy language, my citizenship doesn't count?!" Rainbow Dash shouted angrily, once again needing to be restrained by Applejack and Rarity.
"I'm sorry, but rules are rules" the pony said sympathetically, "You are to be deported back to Cloudsdale in twenty four hours."
With wide eyes and a shocked expression on her face, Rainbow Dash looked to her friends, who looked to her sadly.
"I can't believe it" Rainbow Dash said at Sugarcube Corner where the group had reconvened, "I'm being deported! I'm being forced to leave Ponyville!"
"Well, it is your own fault for not filling out that form properly" Twilight commented.
Rainbow Dash glared at the alicorn "Oh, and I'm sure you filled out your citizenship form perfectly."
"Actually," Twilight slowly admitted "Princess Celestia approved my citizenship when I first came here."
Banging her head on the table, Rainbow Dash groaned as her friends tried to be comforting.
"Don't be too upset, Rainbow" Fluttershy tried to say optimistically "Just because you can't live in Ponyville anymore doesn't mean you can't visit."
"It still won't be the same" Rainbow Dash grumbled, "I wouldn't be allowed to stay here with all my friends, including all of you."
"Ah admit that it won't be the same without yah living here" Applejack admitted.
"Yeah, we'll really miss you, Dashie" Pinkie Pie said with a droopy mane.
"Still, it will be hard," Rarity spoke up slowly "but I'm sure we can still make being friends work."
"Uh, I just thought of something" Spike piped up, having been called over to Sugarcube Corner by Twilight to be informed of the situation "How do you think this will affect you all being the Bearers of Harmony?"
This caused the six ponies to stop and look to each other with worried looks.
"That...was actually something I hadn't considered" Twilight said.
"Hey, don't worry, girls" Rainbow Dash commented, "Even far away, I'm still the Element of Loyalty. If you ever need me, I'll come a running." She then sighed "So let's make my last hours here in Ponyvile memorable."
The others were about to respond when suddenly, a voice expressing its usual cheerfulness and excitement, exploded.
"Wait a minute!"
"What is it, Pinkie?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"There's still a way you can stay in Ponyville!" the party pony said happily.
The others looked up with optimism at Pinkie's words.
"Really? There is?!" a relieved Rainbow Dash asked loudly "What is it?!"
"Easy" Pinkie Pie said with her usual cheerful smile "All you have to do is get married."
..............
"WHAT?!" Rainbow Dash cried in shock.
"You can gain citizenship by marrying a legal resident of Ponyville" Pinkie Pie explained "Then you won't have to leave."
"Pinkie, that's brilliant!" Rarity cried.
"Way to come up with the answer, girl" Applejack said.
"Are you kidding? That's crazy!" Rainbow Dash shouted, "Even for Pinkie's zany ideas!"
"While I'll agree that the idea is a bit ridiculous" Twilight commented "I don't see what other choice you have if you want to stay."
"Still, marriage?" Rainbow Dash replied, "I may want to stay in Ponyville, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life married!"
"You wouldn't have to" Twilight explained, "All you'd have to do is go with the marriage until your citizenship is approved, then you can get an annulment."
"I don't know" Dash said, still unsure.
"Rainbow...it looks like it's your only hope" Fluttershy said softly.
After a moment of consideration, Rainbow Dash's eyes narrowed in determination.
"Alright, I'll do it" Rainbow Dash said with conviction.
"Great, now you just need to find a pony willing to marry you within less than twenty four hours" Pinkie Pie said before adding "Give or take a few seconds."
"Oy" Rainbow Dash shook her head as she walked to the door "Then I better start searching". She then stopped "But I don't know that many stallions."
"Well, it doesn't exactly have to be a stallion you marry, Dear" Rarity commented with a blush.
Rainbow Dash's eyes went wide "Whoa, whoa. Mares can marry...mares?"
"You never knew?" Applejack asked with a raised eyebrow. "Princess Celestia approved that law over a thousand years ago."
"Yeah, how do you think Lyra and Bon Bon have been together all this time?" Pinkie Pie asked like it was obvious.
Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow "They're married? I just thought they had an overly affectionate friendship." She then sighed, "Well, I better get started. Still, it shouldn't be too hard. With a reputation like mine, somepony in this town has to be willing to have Rainbow Dash as a wife."
"Sorry Rainbow" Thunderlane said sympathetically, "but I'm already in a serious relationship with Derpy."
"I'm afraid I haven't no intentions to ever get married" Timer Turner said.
"I'm not ready for marriage" Noteworthy replied.
"Sorry, Dash" Flitter said, "but Cloudchaser and I don't swing that way."
"Regrettably" Berry Punch hiccuped as she held up a bottle of cider, "I've already found my one true love."
"Vinyl Scratch and I are...unavailable to help you" Octavia replied with a nervous smile.
"Ah man!" Rainbow Dash groaned back at the castle, having asked every available pony she could think of, "I can't believe nopony in town was willing to have Rainbow Dash for a wife!"
"Hmm, well, I guess ideas like this do look better on paper" Pinkie Pie admitted.
"Great" Rainbow Dash shook her head sadly "I've spent over twenty two hours searching the entire city for a pony to marry and found nothing. Now I'm going to be deported in less than an hour!"
"Well, why don't you just hide away and not let yourself be deported?" Pinkie Pie asked.
Twilight shook her head "Then she'd get into even more trouble, Pinkie. She'd be considered a fugitive of the law."
"Then I guess I have no choice" Rainbow surrendered "I better go to my cloudhouse and pack my things. It was nice living here, guys."
As Rainbow Dash sadly trotted to the door of the castle, her five friends turned to each other.
"Poor gal" Applejack commented, "While it's nice that mah barn won't be knocked down by her stunts anymore, it's going to be different with her gone."
"I wish there was something we could do to help her" Rarity said.
"But what?" Twilight asked. "Finding a pony to marry was pretty much her only chance."
"Hey, you're a princess, Twilight" Pinkie Pie said, "Isn't there anything you can do?"
"I'd really not like to abuse my power like that" Twilight admitted, "Even if it is for a friend."
"Do you have any ideas, Fluttershy?" Rarity asked, but didn't receive a response "Fluttershy?"
Twilight, Rarity, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie all turned to see Fluttershy staring at the retreating form of Rainbow Dash, her eyes looking on with sympathy. Suddenly, they took on a look of determination before Fluttershy ran up to Dash.
"Rainbow, wait!" the shy Pegasus called out, getting the cyan pony's attention, "I'll help you."
Rainbow couldn't help but chuckle, "Thanks for the offer, Flutters, but if Pinkie Pie's idea for me to get married won't work, than what can you..."
"It will work!" Fluttershy said in an unnaturally loud voice, surprising Rainbow Dash and the others before she got softer "I...I'll do it."
Rainbow Dash looked to her fellow Pegasus before the demure pony looked to her with a gaze of conviction.
"I'll marry you."