Prologue: confessing to a drink
Spawned from watching the eurovision song contest and a whole nights worth of drinking
warning, contains references to alcohol,. swearing, sex...and many other things considered tooo risque for younger audienc...adin.... fuck... been drinking since 8pm on the 26th and haven't stopped
you know how it says that a litre o' vodka is like..what... 20 measures of..um...stuff... well...I'm way over the limmit, inn love with a school teacher... and sheee'd probably kill me if she knew my grammage was this bad.... mind you, shee'd probably punish me by...slappin my ass with a ruller....feckin kinkny shit if yoyu ask me...
jeez, anypony else wuud tink i'd be shaggin er sister... feckin ell...pays ta be from trottingham...
me little brothers gonna kill me....
the sounds of a mediocre band was heard, the kids were screaming down the microphones, shitty power chords were being over used. each song sounded moderatly the same. two ponies were found at the bar.
"37.5 percent alcohol," I read, popping the cap off. I took a sniff. "Berry, are you sure your up to the challenge?"
"of course I'm sure, if not, i'd eat my own hoof" My drinking buddy said with a light chuckle.
she poured out a shot for each of us, but was soon distracted by a white unicorn with a blue mane. trotting next to said unicorn was a young stallion, looked famous, can't recall his name though. but alas, that was an hour ago.
alcohol has a way of catching up to you, and soon your confessing to just about anything... or walking into doors like a certain author we all know and love. (A/N : yeah right, like anyone would love this alcoholic ¬_¬). Berry watched as i downed shot after shot of Vodka. "slow down, buddy" She shot me a worried look. "so whats bothering you?"
after the fifth shot, i took a deep breath, ordered a vodka and coke and slumped into a seat.
"i really don't know what to do Berry," she raised an eyebrow. "its..." i trailed off.
"if its about your deep seated attraction to me, i'll just ignore it" she giggled.
I chuckled before I sighed. "you wish, berry, everypony knows i'd be the attractive half" I chuckled again.
ponies would always say that i was funnier drunk..
"but in all fairness, ... i think i might actually... have fallen for somepony" i sighed.
I took a sip of the drink and simply stared into it. "who?"
I took a second sip, trying to think of a way to put it lightly.
"its...well, don't...don't be angry okay?"
"why would i be angry?" Berry raised an eyebrow.
"its... your sister, Cherrilee" I'm doomed
"oh" Berry's face contorted to a mixture of joy and anger.
i waited for pain, but it never came. instead she just smiled, and shed a tear. "you prick"
"what? what did i do now?" i asked.
she sighed, i could smell the alcohol on her breath, mind you.. it was just as strong on mine.
"Yo, Pinball Wizard! another!" i shouted after downing the rest of my drink.
placing ahoof on her shoulder as she silently wept, under the influence.
"this is the point where any other guy would tell you that i'd been secretly pining over you for years" she gave a light hearted laugh. "but nopony knows me like you do, and the only guy i let in my life like that fucked off and left me with a child who was the best thing to happen to me" she let a tear roll down her cheek.
"i'm" she interrupted me
"dont you fuckin dare say your sorry, I love you, dude... more than you know," she sighed. "i just want to see you happy,"
I raised a very drunk eyebrow at the mare, "so i'm gonna help you"
she was smiling, "just look at those two over there, don't they look happy to you?"
of course, she was watching the musician and candy maker. "oh yeah, they got married last week didnt they?"
i asked. the drunken mare nodded.
"well, i'll see if i can put in a good word for you" Berry chuckled. but then watched as i knocked back a shot and fell off my seat. "well, that hurt like a motherfucker," i groaned "thanks for the offer Berry"
I pulled myself back onto the stool, but slipped off.
"fuck" i grumbled while picking myself of the ground. "methinks i had too much ta drink" my words slurred with both the concussion and the alcohol. i left shortly afterwards.
"damn it, Cherrilee... why are you always in me head" you could tell by my trot i was drunk, swaying from side to side.
well Rover, thats another fine mess you've gotten yourself into i grumbled to myself.
being drunk and somewhat self indulgent, i took a piss up the police station wall, escaping detection.
I then proceeded to drop my keys , picking them up and promptly knocking myself out on the doorknob.
fuck my life.