The Pen Pal

by Jesse Coffey

First published

Sweetie Belle gets a new Griffon pen pal...watch and see her misconceptions regarding Griffons get corrected!

The unicorn Sweetie Belle has just received a pen pal...from the Griffon Kingdom. Not a pony who knows about Griffons, she asks Scootaloo if she can borrow a Daring Do book about that character's affair with the Griffons. It turns out that the book is riddled with a lot of misconceptions and stereotypes, which the new pen pal is not pleased to see in Sweetie Belle's subsequent writings to the Pen Pal. Reading this story will allow you to see how many of these get corrected.


This story's basis lay in DEAR ADIL, an episode of the public television program Arthur, based on Marc Brown's characters. Figuring that the recent MLP:FIM episode THE LOST TREASURE OF GRIFFONSTONE had been similarily filled with cultural stereotypes, I wanted to put together a fanfic that covers some of that ground. I hope you enjoy it!

Start

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GRIFFON KINGDOM
The Present


We zoom in to a street in this city, where a friendly-looking Griffon can be seen. The griffon calls out for his son. "Gregor! Gregor! Gregor" he shouts; adding to his shouting, he says something in German. Gregor naturally replies in German too. He explains, "Hello! Hello! My name is Gregor. That's my father, Lewis. You can see his store at the back of him."

We come into his house where we see somegriffon by the name of Garbo. Garbo is Gregor's cat kid. Garbo didn't do her homework last night and he believes that the family's schoolteacher, Drex, is going to make him check parking meters in Martinique if he doesn't do what he says. And Garbo doesn't know how to drive yet.

We are interrupted by another German-speaking Griffon. Gregor reminds us kindly, "Please ignore her for she has no place in this sequence."

This is none other than Gregor's big sister, Gretel. Gretel eyes Gregor's little lamb toy.

"Look! Old Mr. Gregor had a farm, E I E I O! And on his--"

"Gretel!" Gregor shouts to the giggling girl.

Gregor states, "Uh, um...well...this is my big sister. The farm animal toys that I have are not the focus of this picture though."

Garbo says, "Please go ask her teacher, 'Cheery Flowers', if she knows the answer to the numbers 8, 10, and 12." Gregor replies, "'Cheery Flowers' is not her teacher's name, you idiot!"

Letters/Looking for a Pen Pal

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It is spring cleaning in Ponyville, particularly in the Carousel Boutique - though you'd guess that's based on Rarity's thirst for cleanliness.

In fact, it's Rarity who asks, "Sweetie Belle, would you like live up to your first name and find me my feather-duster?"

Sweetie Belle goes to look for the feather-duster. "Couldn't find it!", she says, adding, "But I happened to come across these, if there's any consolation."

Rarity says, "I wonder where they came from darling." Sweetie Belle then informs Rarity that they came from a stallion named Cecil Rogeras, who lives somewhere in Marexico. Sweetie Belle recalled writing to him when she was 7. Suddenly, Rarity got hit by a stack of dust and -- that thing she was looking for, unknowingly. Whilst this is going on, Sweetie Belle is looking at the letters she had received from Mr. Rogeras, finding some of them to be humourous. A photo of him even slips out of one of the letters' envelopes! Sweetie Belle, by this point, had just covered the floor of the Carousel Boutique designer's room with letter after letter after letter from Mr. Rogeras. Rarity is shocked to see this pile and says, "What's the meaning of this?" Sweetie Belle just sighs. "I did it as a hint of nostalgia. I loved writing to Mr. Rogeras."


PONYVILLE SCHOOL
PONYVILLE, EQUESTRIA


"Cheerilee. Cheerilee. CHEERILEE!"
Bemused by the yelling of her name, the teacher goes to Sweetie Belle and politely says "What?"
"Is there any way in which I can get a pen pal?"
Cheerilee replies, "Of course. Such things are facilitated in my personal desk. Come around it."
Sweetie Belle comes to the back of the teacher's desk, and Cheerilee opens up a drawer with a set of cards containing contact information about foreign students. One of them has the address of an Indian by the name of "Alfo Ajmer." Another has the address of "Toshiro Song" of Japan. Still, there are two more, a Bulgarian named "Sofia Tanashev" and a Griffon named "Gregor."

It turns out that the only other student in the room is Apple Bloom; this happens to be her room. Eying the fact that the name "Gregor" is attached to a Griffon, Sweetie Belle asks Bloom if she knows anything about Griffons.

"All I know about Griffons is that they are half-ponies, half-birds, and that the most harmless ones are right here in Equestria."

That's where Scootaloo comes in. "Hey Sweetie Belle! Check this out! I just picked up a copy of the new Daring Do comic book! Mwah! Do you want to read it? It has lots of things about Griffons in it!"

Sweetie Belle says, "OK. I'll borrow your copy. Thank you."

Scootaloo says, "You're welcome!"

Scootaloo says, "Well, what do you think? Do you want to write to Gregor?"

Sweetie Belle says, "Um...OK!"

Daring Do in the Griffon Kingdom

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In this part of the comic book, Daring Do has just landed in the Griffon Kingdom. It is the proud home of the Griffons, a greedy, evil, rude, insensitive bunch whose lust for gold and treasure even rivals that of dragons. The Griffons only offer their services in exchange for bits. They do not have sympathy for anypony and, in fact, prove to be the ones most likely to hurt anypony they come in contact with - proving in fact to have used these ponies as their own personal lunch and their served item. In fact, the Griffons seem to be proud of - and think the most important and worthy individuals in their lives are - exactly one thing: themselves!

A Delightful Explanation of Gregor/Another Letter

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Gregor has read the letter and has heard the audio recording of it on reel tape, specifically playing and reading the part where she says, "And then we watched something called A Shot in the Dark, and I, quietly, sang along with that movie's theme song. It goes, um, ahem...Why must we meet in the Shadows of Paris, where hardly a star seems to shine?"

Gregor stops reading and pauses its combined audio tape. "What was that earlier part about a mall? Matter of fact, what is a mall?"

His father says, "I don't know. But I do know one thing: That pony's singing...ah...bravissimo! She is such a talent!"

He resumes self-reading and also plays the tape again. "Anyway, that was how I've been. How've YOU been? And how is your life in the Griffon Kingdom? Sincerely, Sweetie Belle."



CAROUSEL BOUTIQUE
PONYVILLE, EQUESTRIA


The tape is also being played at home base.

"So Sweetie Belle, I see you've made a wonderful new friend!" exclaimed Rarity. "What's his name, madame?"

Sweetie Belle states, "He is a little griffon named Gregor."

"And what does Gregor do, darling?"

"He works at a grocery store and is its entertainer. The store sells a lot of cool things. A lot of spices are there. There are also interesting entertainment items at the store and some meat and beef, especially beef from other ponies."

"EEK! Where did you hear this?"

"It was in the Daring Do comic book. And here's the best part: He is a great singer, of something called "schlagers", and has a big sister, who will probably send me a copy of a Daisy the Flower record from the Griffon Kingdom."

"I didn't know Daisy the Flower existed in the Griffon Kingdom."

"How do you know? My guess is that the record is really swell! And, um, Gregor has gotten back to me! He said he liked what I sent him, but, um..."

"But what, darling?"

"Um, uh, he wrote his letter better than I wrote mine."

"Figures."


Dear Grogar,

Thank you for your really interesting letter. Some really exciting things happened to me this past week! I got A+ in a reading comprehension essay, I went to apple picking with Appl

e Blo

om

"Boy am I tired!"


"And we got to see Zipporwhill at the Flutter Records studio, once again, as she beautifully sang this wonderful song. I will now play the extracted recording from the finished master."

"God didn't make Little Green Apples and it don't rain in Indianapolis in the summertime..."

"Wow. And I'm just too tired to hear this pony's great voice tonight."

"Gregor!"

"No, father. You see, that letter even put me to sleep. Oh well...I guess something exciting's going to come tomorrow."

Yet Another Letter

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It is -10 degrees Celsius and raining outside of the Sugar Bowl. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo are inside to watch the game.

"What do we do now?" says Sweetie Belle. "I've barely gotten a thing done today. I've done a few things lesser today than yesterday."

"Yeah, well..."

"So what do you suggest I do?"

"Um, how many questions were answered in your last letter to Gregor?"

"A few."

"Like what?"

"The questions about the mall and the movie. 'The mall is a place with lots of stories.' 'The movie is about a clumsy detective.' Are these too boring for you?"

"Yes they are and I think you should edit them out."

"But that movie wasn't boring!"

"Oh. Then ask him some questions about the Griffon Kingdom. It sounds exciting. And as inspiration...have this!"

D A R I N G D O
I N T H E
G R I F F O N K I N G D O M

Dear Gregor,

How is your school like? Is it doing well? Are ponies welcome there? Does your cafeteria serve them for lunch?

Also, what is your favourite food? How can you describe the taste of ponies?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


"I didn't know you ate ponies", said Garbo.

"Never in my life have I eaten a pony! Where in the world does Sweetie Belle get these suggestions?"

"What do you wish to write back?"

"I'm no longer sure..."

Three Days Later

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Sweetie Belle has looked in the mailbox, expecting a letter for three days now. Zipporwhill, who has come to play, notices that, through the mail, another Daring Do comic has showed up.

"Mind if I ask where you got that Daring Do comic?"

"It's from Scootaloo."

Zipporwhill giggles. "These are the funniest things I have ever read."

"Funniest?"

"Yes! They always misinform us about everything!"

"Like what?"

"Well, there was that comic that took place in Scandinavia, and she went to an area with a lot of vikings."

"And what's so funny about that?"

"I'll be lucky if there are Scandinavians, especially Scandinavians who are Swedish, who don't find that offensive."

"But that's nothing compared to all those Equestrian TV shows I viewed Spanish dubs of when I was littler. They made me think that every Equestrian pegasus flies and walks on clouds, that every Earth pony frequently tends to crops or performs manual labor, and that every Unicorn has an Automatic Magical Ability. I'm pretty sure that TV, the movies, and maybe even the comics, would give you quite a weird impression of a particular place."

"Oh! I guess that's why I haven't seen Gregor's letters for three days!"

"Yes sirree!" Zipporwhill sang in that beautiful voice we've come to expect from her. "And that's because you probably used your questions to offend him."

"Should I get a pony pen pal?"

"Well, why don't you actually write him back and tell him what happened?"

"Come on, just one more try. It'll be hard to make a friend of a different culture, but it'll be worth it in the end!"

"Wait a minute...Gregor has a telephone?"

Telephone Conversation/Late At Night

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The phone rings and is answered by Grogar. The pony on the other line is Sweetie Belle.

"Hello Grogar. I was just wondering if you happened to get my letters lately. And, by the way, I didn't know you had a telephone. How's it plugged in?"

"The phone line is hooked up to the wall of MY HOUSE. My house is neat and clean, not unkempt and shabby-looking."

"I'm sorry. I just read this book which gave me a very weird idea about your lifestyle. I guess that's why you didn't write me back."

"Right! I wanted to correct you but I thought your response would be belated anyway. Then again, a lot of my questions went unanswered."

"That's due to the boredom my answers would've caused. I mean, a mall is just one really big store with lots of little stores in it."

"If you're ever in the Griffon Kingdom, you'll find a lot of those. Our oldest and largest mall is the Arma Pasa."

At which point Rarity asks Sweetie Belle to help her work on a dress. Sweetie Belle says, "Hold on! I'll get to that in a minute!"

"Are you still on this line Sweetie Belle?"

"Yes. Sorry, but Rarity interrupted me again."

"Gretel does that all of the time. Usually this takes place when I really don't want to be disturbed. How does she know?"

"Indeed. I never thought that we'd have THIS much in common. Well, I guess I got to put away the phone and do whatever Rarity wants me to."

"OK, goodbye."

"Goodbye."


Garbo stops by, saying to Gregor, "Oh, um, um, was she able to reach 'Cheery Flowers'?"

Gregor says, "Come on Garbo. We have to be in school by 35 minutes or else we'll get slapped with a Tardy Card. And we can't talk to them now. It's late at night in Ponyville."

"Gee, you're right."


Back home, Rarity is in bed singing the "Daisy the Flower" theme in German; at this point, Sweetie Belle comes into her room, discovers this, and shouts, "RARITY! YOU NEED TO GET YOUR BEAUTY SLEEP! IT'S LATE!" Ultimately, she does so at the conclusion of the record.