He Went on Down to Ponyville...
In the bright morning light inside her cabin, Fluttershy put the finishing touches on her evening’s attire. Putting together an outfit that was both elegant and practical was a tall order, but what she managed to put together would work just fine. All was in order and ready to go. All she would need now was—
A knock rattled the door to the cottage.
“Now, who could that be?” Fluttershy asked aloud.
She walked over to the door and opened it. She was met with no one in sight. “Hello?”
Poking her head outside, she scanned around for any disturbance, but she found nothing. “Huh… maybe, the wind?”
Another knock resound, this time behind her. “Huh?”
The knock came from inside, but Fluttershy didn’t have a back door. The knocking continued, this time a little louder. Fluttershy scanned the whole front room. No disturbance. None. Except from the—
Another knock echoed in the room, coming from the small cuckoo clock on the wall. Fluttershy cautiously approached it. “From here—?”
The clock struck ten and out popped a laughing draconequus, sending Fluttershy flat on her back. “Ah, Fluttershy! It’s so good to see you!”
“Oh, hello, Discord,” Fluttershy said, her eyes still wide as saucers.
Discord chuckled and extended a claw. “My apologies, dear.”
Fluttershy accepted his help and got back on her hooves. “It’s okay, really.”
Satisfied, Discord’s eye caught sight of Fluttershy’s attire that laid in the living room. He slithered over to it and examined it closely. “My, my. Getting all dolled up today, hmm? What’s the occasion?”
“The annual Summer Harvest Festival is today.”
Discord raised an eyebrow. “The what?”
“Oh, you didn’t know?” Fluttershy asked. “I’m sorry, Discord. I would have invited you if I had known.”
Discord shrugged. “Eh, depends on how good it is.”
Fluttershy brought a hoof to her chin. “Well, it’s a local gathering in Ponyville to celebrate the harvests. There’s games, feasts, music and even a parade that goes through the middle of town. Everypony in town goes every year. It’s tradition.”
“Mmm hmm.”
“Well, it’s lots of fun, really…” Fluttershy said as she pawed at the floor.
“Is it? Let’s take a peek.”
Discord snapped his fingers and focused a ball of energy between his claws. The magic energy swirled and flashed, consolidating into a small murky sphere. He polished it off as it solidified. He flicked the center of its core and held it aloft for Fluttershy to see. The small ball lit up and the murky insides parted to reveal the town of Ponyville inside. Inside the sphere, everypony was hard at work setting up festival booths and various other structures for coming celebration.
Discord yawned. “Riveting.”
“Well, they’re still setting things up…” A bird landed in a nearby open window and chirped for Fluttershy’s attention. “Excuse me for a second.”
As Fluttershy left, Discord turned his attention back to the projection sphere. He watched the ponies toil away in whatever mundane duty they were assigned. He tapped and slid the view all over Ponyville, desperate to find something entertaining to watch.
The view halted its search, however, when it scrolled over the fascinating sight of a three pony pile-up at a busy intersection. Discord zoomed in the view, catching the lovely sight of a pile of packages strewn about in every direction and a large decorative statue in two pieces. The pegasus mare at fault sheepishly tried in vain to fix the accident, but only succeeded in making it worse. Discord scratched his chin. “Interesting…”
Over by the window, Fluttershy let out a gasp. “Oh my! Is it serious?” The bird chirped and swaked in response. “Ok, well, tell them I’m on my way.”
She returned to the living room, a sad look on her face.
“Why so glum, Fluttershy?”
“Oh, a tree branch fell on a poor beaver’s leg,” she explained. “He’s in a lot of pain and it may be broken. They can’t risk moving him in that state. I’ll have to make a house visit.”
Discord pointed at the projection sphere. “Won’t you miss the festivities?”
“Yes, I would…” she said with a sigh. “But this is more urgent. I’ll just… wait till next year.”
Discord pondered for a moment, and then smiled. “I’ll tell you what, Fluttershy. I’ll go down to the festival and record everything for you!”
Fluttershy gave him a confused look. “You can do that?”
“Absolutely,” he said, spinning the projection sphere on one of his fingers. “That’s what friends are for, right?”
Fluttershy thought about his proposition for a moment, a look of apprehension on her face. “Well, okay. Just don’t cause any trouble, alright?”
Discord bent down and gave Fluttershy a pat on the head. “Trouble? Me? Oh, Fluttershy, you worry too much!” He chuckled as he disappeared in a puff of pink smoke. “No trouble at all…”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“This is so awesome!”
Rainbow Dash hopped from one end of the stage to the next, pretending to strum a guitar as she mimicked the sounds of a solo shredding session. Her eyes were screwed shut, focusing all her concentration on hitting each mock note. She twirled and danced as her imagination reached its crescendo, pumping her forelegs into the air. She craned over the front of the stage to the adoration of the crowd.
She opened her eyes only to find Applejack standing by herself in the midday sun with an annoyed look on her face.
“Dash! Get down from there and help us out,” she said. “This here stage ain’t gonna be set-up in time if you keep prancin’ all over it.”
Rainbow Dash waved a dismissive hoof at her. “Tshh, lighten up, Applejack. It’s getting done.” She pointed to the rest of the construction crew. “See?”
To their right, Big Mac tried his best to keep Applebloom from coming to blows with her friends over a silly argument and an enthusiastic Pinkie Pie was proceeding to paint the stage the wrong color. Even worse, nopony was working on the now desperate lighting situation and Vinyl Scratch had only just started hooking up her equipment after waiting almost an hour for the audio system to come online.
Applejack rubbed a hoof between her eyes. “It’d get done a lot quicker if you had a hammer in your hooves instead of that guitar.”
Rainbow Dash looked down at her guitar that hung from her neck. “Aww, but I always wanted to play one of these things!” She struck a pose, extending her hoof over the empty space beyond them. “On a stage, the crowd cheering, shredding hard on one of these babies!” Her wings fluttered and she clenched her hooves together under the widest smile she could manage. “So awesome!”
“Ain’t nobody gonna be playin’ anything today if you don’t stop daydreamin’!” Applejack said as she grabbed hold of a nearby 2x8. “Now get down here and help me with this cross member.”
“Fiiiinnne.” Rainbow Dash groaned.
Rainbow Dash unslung the guitar and placed it gingerly back on its stand, caressing it gently and briefly whispering sweet nothings. Applejack rolled her eyes, but Rainbow Dash did finally pick up the other end of the wooden beam. The two mares grunted and strained as they carried the beam to its rightful location. Rainbow Dash flew up high, struggling to drag the beam up into the rafters. After a lot of heaving and heavy lifting, she finally slid the wood into place.
Rainbow Dash wiped her brow of sweat and laid down on one of the other rafters. “Whew, I’m beat.”
“What’re you talkin’ about?” Applejack yelled out from below, not a drop of sweat on her. “We still got twenty more to put in place!”
A pained groan emanated from the rafters.
“C'mon’ now, Dash. It ain’t that bad.”
“Hey!” Rainbow Dash yelled back. “Ask me to fly a mile in ten seconds and I’ll do it no sweat. But this?!” She let out an even longer groan and let her legs hang lazily down.
Applejack merely let out a frustrated sigh as Twilight approached the stage, a clipboard enveloped in her magic.
“How’s the stage coming along?” Twilight asked.
“Could be goin’ faster,” Applejack replied, still focused on the lazy pegasus above her. “But I think we’ll be done here real soon if somepony could put in a little bit more effort.”
“Can’t hear you!” Rainbow Dash retorted.
Twilight still smiled regardless, bring up her clipboard and scribing a checkmark with her feather pen. “Excellent. The band is scheduled to arrive in exactly 5.456 hours from now, with the show starting 32.143 minutes later along with a buffer period of 1.4 minutes per scheduled item. So taking into account the progress of the stage, that means if everything goes according to schedule…”
“We’ll have plenty of time?” Applejack asked in a flat tone.
Twilight scanned her clipboard, flipping the pages back and forth, until finally giving Applejack a wide grin. “Absolutely. We may even be ahead by a half hour or two. How much longer do you think the stage will take to complete?”
Applejack brought a hoof to her chin. “Well, we’re still waitin’ on a supply shipment comin’ in to put on the finishin’ touches, but other than that, we’re almost done here.”
Twilight clapped her hooves together. “That’s great news! Then that means we can—”
A loud boom and flash thundered next to the ponies.
The whole stage was enveloped in pink smoke and the mares struggled to catch their breath. A towering silhouette slithered inside the cloud, echoing an increasingly loud laugh. The cloud dissipated to the rhythm of the maniacal laughter, revealing a certain spirit of chaos.
“Why, hello there everypony!” Discord exclaimed. “How are we all doing this fine summer day?”
Applejack and Twilight were still recovering from the smoke inhalation, Applejack clutching her chest while Twilight tried desperately to fan away the vapor with her clipboard . Rainbow Dash crashed into the hard floor below, gasping for breath while clutching her head. Discord gave them all a frown and looked down at his spontaneously appearing watch on his wrist. After a few moments, the three mares regained their composure.
“We were—” Applejack hacked a lung one last time. “—doin’ fine. Right now, not so sure...”
Twilight kept waving her clipboard in her face. “What brings you here, Discord?”
Discord tore his eyes away from his watch and gave them all a sly smirk. “Me? Why, I’m here to join in on the festivities of course!”
“Oh, great…” Rainbow Dash said with her newfound breath.
Discord gave Rainbow Dash a pat on the head. “Our dear friend Fluttershy couldn’t make it today, so I decided to come in her stead.”
Rainbow Dash’s eyes shot open and she immediately took flight, staring Discord straight into his eyes. “I hope there’s a real good reason for that.”
Discord didn’t budge, still wearing his smirk. “Yes, yes. It had something to do with emergency surgery or something like that.” Applejack and Twilight exchanged worried glances while Rainbow Dash intensified her stare. Discord still smiled regardless. “Anyways, I’m also waiting on a package to arrive around… about...”
A crash rang out behind the stage, followed by a bang, a shriek of pain, the flurry of movement and a quiet plea for forgiveness.
Rainbow Dash craned her neck toward the disturbance. “What the…?”
Another crash came from backstage. The twang of wires snapping from their supports echoed while the creaking of wood heralded a cacophony of falling timbers just beyond the curtains of the stage.
A flurry of shadows flash across the curtains. Construction workers screamed in terror.
The curtain sprung to life, pulling itself down from the large support rod above as a large flying object trapped itself in its folds.
The draped flying object crashed into support beams. Rafters tumbled down from above. Jagged wooden beams tumbled into the terrified mares below.
The curtain ripped itself free with one last sharp tug.
A single grey pegasus flopped directly into the center of the stage, a huge wooden crate strapped to her back.
“Ah, right on schedule,” Discord said, his smile only growing wider.
A small piece of wooden fell from above and bonked Derpy on the head. She rubbed her head a little and gave a bashful grin. “Oops. My bad.” She looked around with her signature cross-eyed stare. “Um… Is there a Mister Discord around?”
Discord raised his hand. “That would be me, yes.”
Derpy turned to Discord and, with a smile, plopped the huge wooden crate at his feet. “Here you go, mister!”
“Thank you.”
Derpy gave him a nod and turned to leave, only to meet Rainbow Dash face to face, small bits of debris clinging to her fur. Derpy’s smile quickly faded.
“Derpy!” Rainbow Dash screamed. “Look what you did!”
At first, Derpy only gave Rainbow Dash a confused look. The crash of a fallen wooden beam, however, caught her attention and she slowly turned to look at the utter devastation Rainbow Dash was pointing at. The entire stage was in ruins. The curtains were in tatters. Snapped cables and wires snapped and crackled amongst the wooden debris. Paint cans found their contents spilled over practically everything, including a few unhappy workers.
Derpy turned back to Rainbow Dash, trying her best to keep her head low. “Sorry…”
“Sorry? Sorry?!” Rainbow Dash bellowed, taking flight and towering over Derpy, her ears firmly pinned back. “Sorry isn’t going to fix this stage, Derpy! You know how long it took us to set it up?! All our hard work is ruined!”
Derpy retreated to the ground, nearly burying her head in her hooves. Everypony around her was staring at her, each one wearing the same angry face as Rainbow Dash. “I… I didn’t mean to…”
“Didn’t mean to?!” Rainbow Dash slapped a hoof into her forehead. “Everything you touch turns into a disaster! For the love of Celestia, please just—!” She took a deep, frustrated breath and settled back onto the ground. “Just go. We don’t need you around messing everything up!”
“O-okay…” Derpy said, nearly on the verge of tears.
Twilight let out a sigh. “Dash—”
“Hey, somepony had to say it!” Rainbow Dash snapped.
With unsteady hooves, Derpy slowly got up and backed away from the crowd. She tried her best not to betray the tears welling up in her eyes, but every time she passed another victim of her negligence, her eyes only grew heavier. Everypony just stared at her, keeping a wary eye on her as she left.
“Hold on, miss.”
Derpy stopped in her tracks and turned towards the voice calling to her. Discord stood proudly on top of his crate still wearing his grin. “Before you go, would you like to open the box?”
Derpy immediately shook her head. “Oh, no. Mail-mares are forbidden from opening any parcels, packages or shipping crates under any circumstance.” She placed a hoof over her chest. “Company policy!”
Discord brought a finger to his chin and pondered. “Well, if that is indeed the case…” He slithered around the crate and placed a claw over the latch. He gave Derpy a sly smirk. “Would you like to see me open it?”
Derpy tried her best to look up into the sky and ponder. “Huh. I’ve… never been asked that before.” She shrugged. “Sure, why not?”
“Splendid.”
Discord flipped open the latch.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Intense white nothingness was all Rainbow Dash could see. She knew her eyes were wide open, yet her vision simply wouldn’t clear. The ringing in her ears didn’t help either. She writhed on the floor, desperate to regain her bearings. After a few agonizing seconds, she could finally detect movement. The white void faded away, replaced with the drab colors of reality.
Or, at least, what looked like reality.
A familiar looking pink cloud crossed over Rainbow Dash’s sight. She slowly sat up, squinting to refocus her addled eyes on her surroundings. Floating carnival stalls lazily hung above giant produce that rolled around in a hypnotic dance. Pink clouds crowded the sky, raining down vegetables of every shape and size. Sizeable fruit stood ready to pedal their carnival games to patrons and produce alike. She rubbed eyes vigorously, but the scene before her only came into sharper view. “Horseapples…”
Rainbow Dash jumped to her hooves and surveyed her surroundings, catching a glimpse of an orange leg and a stetson cowboy hat under a small pile of debris. She raced over the the pile and shoved it away, shaking the unconscious pony underneath. “Applejack!”
Applejack stirred and groaned. She caught sight of her missing hat and grabbed it with a hoof. She slowly got to her hooves, rubbing her head as she straightened her hat. “I’m… I’m alright, sugarcube. What in tarnation was that?”
Rainbow Dash looked around frantically. “I-I don’t know...”
Nearby, Twilight emerged from another pile of wood, dusting off her body with a wing and rubbing her forehead. Rainbow Dash rushed over to her. “Twilight! Are you ok?!”
“Ugh, my hea—” Twilight opened one of her eyes. Her jaw dropped. “What in the world?!”
Ponyville was in absolute chaos. At the center of it all was a very happy Discord, standing atop the remains of the ruined wooden stage. He scanned the entirety of the town, admiring his handiwork. “Now this is what I call a festival!”
“Discord!!”
Discord turned to face a very angry Twilight below. “Ah, Twilight, you like all of my improvements? What do you think? Much more lively, isn’t it?”
“What do I think?!” Twilight slammed a hoof into the ground. “This isn’t good at all!”
“Yeah, what’s the big idea, Discord?!” Rainbow Dash shouted.
“We were doin’ just fine here,” Applejack added.
Discord merely shrugged, still smiling. “Seeing as things were not going according to plan, I thought I could help out a little with your preparations. You don’t like them?”
“No!” the three mare shouted in unison.
“Ya gotta be right outta your mind to think this is an improvement!” Applejack said.
Rainbow Dash flared her wings out. “Change it back!”
For the first time in a while, Discord frowned and placed a claw over his chest. “Girls, I’m genuinely hurt. I put a lot of effort into all this.”
“Now that, I don’t believe,” Rainbow Dash said, rolling her eyes.
Twilight grit her teeth. “Discord, if you don’t turn everything back, then we’ll be forced to—”
“Do what, exactly?” Discord interrupted, his smile returning. “By my calculations, you’re a few mares short of making any demands.”
The three mares looked at each other. Twilight bit her lip. Applejack scratched the back of her head. Rainbow Dash kicked at the ground.
“He’s kinda got us there…” Rainbow Dash said through clenched teeth.
“Now, now,” Discord said. “No need for the long faces. We’re all friends here. I’m sure we can work something out.”
Twilight gave him an annoyed look. “What do you want, Discord?”
“Want..?” He said, stroking his chin. He gave her a short chuckle. “Oh, you’ve got it all wrong, princess. You see, girls…” He spun in place and emerged with a dapper vest complete with monocle and top hat. “I don’t know if you all know this, but I am a prestigious purveyor of the arts.”
Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Wait, what? Seriously?”
“You pick up a few hobbies when you’ve lived for as long as I have,” Discord retorted while adjusting his monocle. “For me, personally, there has always been a special place in my heart for music.”
“Really?” Twilight asked in a flat tone.
“Why, of course!” Discord exclaimed. “There are few things in life that can’t be expressed through music. It’s as wild, varied and untamed as any force of chaos.” He strummed an imaginary guitar, each movement of his claws striking a curiously impossible audible sound. “Naturally, I found a liking to it, practicing and honing the craft for decades on end. But, alas, I’ve never found anypony who I could relate with on that level of expertise.”
He leaned in close, his trademark smirk still across his face. “So, girls, here’s my proposition. If anypony here can beat me in a musical duel, I will revert all that I have done here. I’ll even throw in a brand new stage. How bout it? Are you up for the challenge?”
“Uh…” Twilight’s eyes darted back and forth, searching for a champion. “Do you know how to play, Applejack?”
Applejack shook her head. “A cousin of mine would play at our reunions, but I never really got the hang of it.”
“Rainbow Dash?”
“Pfft, I wish…” Rainbow Dash mumbled.
“Nopony? Nopony at all?” Discord said with a frown, extending the invitation to any pony nearby. Nopony stepped forward. Discord snapped his fingers. “Well, is there anypony in THIS crowd?”
Twilight looked behind her. “Where in the—?!”
The cheer of a huge crowd of ponies filled the air. Behind the three mares, thousands of ponies stood in the fields beyond the ruined stage. The roar of the crowd drowned out everything else. The shock of a suddenly appearing crowd was only dwarfed by an equally sudden appearance of a huge, elaborate metal framed stage with two prominent pedestals towering over absurdly large sound equipment.
Applejack’s jaw dropped. “How’d—?!”
Discord hopped onto one of the pedestals. “There has to be at least somepony here who knows how to play? Wait, I don’t want just anyone, I want the best of the best!” Fireworks shot up into the sky and the crowd went wild. “Now, how can we…”
Discord pondered for a moment before a lightbulb flash in front of him. “Ah! I got it!” He pointed a finger in the air and the stage lights went dim. The towering spotlights above the stage flashed uncontrollably throughout the crowd beyond. Twilight and her friends exchanged nervous glances.
“I challenge…” Discord began, slowly lowering his pointed finger. “You!”
The spotlights stopped at a single point. The crowd backed slowly away until all that stood in the light was a single pony.
Derpy looked up at the light, then all around her. “M-me?”
“Her?!?” Rainbow Dash shouted.
“Yes,” Discord said with a sly look. “What’s your name, miss?”
“Derpy Hooves,” Derpy replied proudly. “But my friends call me Muffins.”
“Well, well, Miss Hooves, care to join me on stage?” Discord asked, extending a claw in her direction.
Derpy pawed at the ground and hung her head low. “Oh! W-well, I don’t know…”
“A little shy are we? Hmm?” Discord said. “I’ll tell you what, Derpy. I’ll sweeten the deal, just for you.” He flexed his claws and cracked his knuckles before swirling around a big ball of magic. “If you beat me...” The ball took shape and shone brilliantly in the light. “...this lovely golden guitar will be yours.”
Derpy’s eyes went wide, even though her focus was a bit off.
“And if I win… hmm… if I win I get… uhh—”
“You can’t be serious, Discord!” Rainbow Dash yelled. “You challenge Derpy? Derpy of all ponies?! Why don’t you go pick on somepony else, huh?!”
Discord merely crossed his arms. “The spotlights don’t lie, Rainbow Dash. She is the very best.”
“Oh, come on!” Rainbow Dash said, waving a dismissive hoof. “She can barely walk straight! How can she be coordinated enough to play?” She shot up into the air, staring Discord down. “You know what, screw it! I can’t play, but I won’t let you do this to her!”
“Hold it.”
Rainbow Dash looked back down at the crowd. “Huh?”
“Don’t worry, Rainbow Dash.” Derpy said, flying up to Rainbow Dash. “I got this.” She turned to the draconequus on stage. “Mister Discord. I accept your challenge!”
A sly smirk crept even wider across Discord’s face. “Excellent.”
Rainbow Dash grabbed Derpy by the leg. “Are you sure about this, Derpy? If you can’t, I—”
Derpy gave her a reassuring pat. “I told you, Dash. I got this. Don’t worry.”
Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to protest, but only gave Derpy a defeated nod. Derpy gave her a warm smile and flew off towards the stage. She nearly landed on the second pedestal, doubling back to make a second pass. The sturdy column resisted the impact of the mare crashing into it. Despite this, Derpy eventually managed to stand proudly on top.
“So, Derpy, how long have you been playing?” Discord asked.
“Oh, a while,” Derpy replied. “I’ll have you know, I’m actually pretty good.”
Discord let out a chuckle. “I hope you’re at least a little better than that. Otherwise, you won’t stand a chance.” He snapped his fingers and a huge billboard rose from behind the stage. On its face were three colored sections with a big arrow sweeping across them and the words ‘Applause-o-Meter’ plastered above in bring colored lights. “The rules here are simple, Derpy. Whoever has the highest score by the end is the better musician.”
“Sounds good to me!” Derpy said.
Discord nodded at her and brought up a claw to snap his fingers. “Oh, by the way, I never finished outlining my challenge. If I win, well, let’s just say there’s a nice position that opened up for you and your kin in a little pocket dimension of mine. As a slave, of course.”
A gasp escaped from the front row where Rainbow Dash was sitting.
Derpy let out a little laugh. “Sorry to disappoint, but I don’t think I’ll be losing today!”
“We’ll see about that. May the best musician win.” He snapped his fingers and two guitar cases appeared in a puff of purple smoke, one for Derpy and the other for himself. He grabbed hold of his case and turned toward the other side of the stage. “Now, to get started. Oh, Pinkie Pie?”
“Pinkie?” Applejack asked aloud.
The spotlights from above lit up a once darkened part of the stage where a huge drum set and various musical instruments sat unused. “Would you be so kind as to provide some back-up music?”
“Say no more! I got you covered!” Pinkie shouted from behind the drum set.
Twilight shook her head in disbelief. “Wha- where did she—?!”
“Ready, Cheese Sandwich?!” Pinkie shouted from the drum set.
“I’m always ready!” Cheese Sandwich replied, taking hold of a bass guitar.
Applejack and Twilight exchanged confused looks. “Wha- How- did-?!”
Pinkie Pie twirled her drumsticks around her hooves. “Let’s rock!”
She kicked off the beat and the crowd roared in approval. Cheese Sandwich joined in with the groove of his guitar, eliciting another excited cheer from the crowd. The stage was set, and Discord was drinking in every moment. He unclipped his guitar case and retrieved the instrument from within. The guitar he held was sight to behold, letting off a prismatic glow from its multi-colored paint scheme and the polished, mastercrafted wooden body. Derpy couldn’t help but stare at the beautiful instrument as Discord plugged it into the massive amplifier behind him.
“Apologies on the condition of the instrument, Derpy,” Discord said.
Derpy opened her own case only to be met with a cloud of dust. Inside the case, a shoddy old guitar sat packed in between crumpled up newspaper and torn, decaying felt lining. She picked up the guitar, and slung it over her shoulder. The polish had worn away from the wood, the paint was chipping off in places, and an odd horseshoe looking print showed prominently right under the base of the neck. There was an odd smell too.
“Hey! That’s not fair! That thing’s a piece of junk!” Rainbow Dash shouted from the crowd.
Discord merely shrugged. “It can’t be helped, I’m afraid. This is all on short notice after all.”
Rainbow Dash grit her teeth. “Why you—!”
“Oh, it’s fine, Rainbow Dash,” Derpy said.
Discord turned to Derpy, fire erupting from his claws and forming into a guitar pick. “Now, I hope you don’t mind if I start out the show.”
“Go ahead,” Derpy said with a smile.
The crowd hushed itself for the first time as Discord brought the pick right up to the strings of his guitar. The back-up band shifted their tone from an upbeat rhythm down to an ominously low pounding beat. He paused for a moment, adjusting his whammy bar to its perfect position. He eyed over to where Derpy was standing and gave her a wink.
He struck a power chord, holding it long and hard as a low, demonic growl echoed from the speakers behind him. The growl grew louder and louder until he burst into a cacophony of fretted notes. He shred along the neck of his guitar, pumping out music like a sputtering chainsaw. He held the whammy bar close to his claw, distorting every note with a unique spin.
His notes traveled high and low, each masterful strike against the strings producing a rapid succession of sound that soothed and excited all at once. He thrust the guitar forward, dislodging his claws from their sockets as they freely kept playing without him. The guitar floated over to Derpy, dancing around her pedestal while never missing a note.
Discord snapped the unruly instrument back into his grasp and delivered a crescendo of hammer-ons and pull-offs before striking a final, definitive ending chord. The crowd went wild when he finished. The Applause-o-Meter responded in kind, pushing the arrow firmly towards the maximum end of its scale. He gave the crowd a bow.
“Hey! You’re pretty good, too!” Derpy said, clapping her hooves together.
Discord shrugged and gave her a smug smirk. “I try.”
Derpy gave a short laugh. “Well, take a load off, Mister Discord. It’s my turn now.” She pulled her guitar forward, violently unplugging it from amplifier and causing a harsh amount of feedback. She smiled sheepishly as she re-inserted the cord back into her guitar. “Oops. My bad.”
Rainbow Dash slapped a hoof on her forehead. “Oh no. She’s gonna get slaughtered up there!” She covered her eyes. “I can’t watch!”
The once again quite crowd waited with bated breath for Derpy’s next move. She closed her eyes and took in a few deep breaths, positioning her forearms on the bridge and fretboard. She tapped her hoof to the sound of the back-up beat, getting a feel for the rhythm. She took it all in, the stage, the crowd, the pressure to perform, the excitement of the music, the familiar feel of a once beloved instrument.
Her eyes shot open.
“Fire on the mountains, run boys run!”
Thunderous chords blasted out from the speakers.
“Discord’s in the house of the rising sun!”
She held another chord long and hard, like the triumphant neigh of a mare.
“Muffin in the bread pan, pickin out dough!”
Rapid strikes to the strings bellowed forth like the clashing of hooves on stone.
“Granny does your dog bite? No child noOOoo!”
Like the cry of a brilliant phoenix, she shredded out another string of notes.
Derpy kept on shredding, her forehoof shifting all over the neck of the guitar. Rainbow Dash’s jaw dropped and the crowd went crazy. Again and again she played a triumphant melody, each iteration perfectly timed. She danced as she played, twirling in place and accentuating each note with an equally enthusiastic move.
Applause-o-Meter reached its absolute limit. Discord’s eyes shot up to the board, then back the Derpy. She locked eyes with him. The two stared each other down. Discord readied his guitar. Derpy readied a strike.
The speakers roared with newfound life as the two struck their guitars with all their might.
Music blasting out from both sides of the stage, rocking the foundations of the stage to its very core. The arrow on the Applause-o-Meter flicked back and forth, unsure of who was playing what. Discord was finally able to break free and unleashed a rapid series of shredded notes. Derpy responded in kind with her own solo, hammering-off a perfect biting response.
Again Discord tried to out-play her, but each and every time Derpy would play even better. Faster, stronger, harder, more complexity, more stress, higher notes. No matter what he tried, Discord just couldn’t match her perfect execution. The Applause-o-Meter steadily crept toward Derpy, despite each and every showstopping solo Discord dished out.
Discord’s fingers burst into flames.
He shredded his guitar all over the neck. The sounds that emerged from the sound equipment were unbelieveably fast, striking a timing that simply could not be possible. The intense heat from his fingers caused the guitar itself to catch on fire snapping the strings just as he delivered the final, echoing blow.
The Applause-o-Meter smacked firmly back in Discord’s favor. Discord flashed a wicked smile. The crowd went silent. All eyes were on Derpy.
Derpy gave him a smirk.
Rearing back, she pounded out one power chord after another. They were slow at first, but her strikes rapidly gained speed. Faster and faster and yet even still faster. . Her eyes were screwed shut, all her concentration focused on the music she played.
She flared out her wings and jumped into the air just as her solo reached its highest point, her head craning to the heavens. Her hooves were little more than a blur as she played as perfectly as anyone ever had. Her notes hit higher and higher, begging to breach what was physically possible to reach. She brought back the tone down low and struck one final, definitive chord as her guitar burst from within.
The huge speakers behind her exploded in a shower of heavenly sparks as the final chord was struck.
The crowd went absolutely wild. The Applause-o-Meter’s arrow spun back around to Derpy so fast that it flew straight off and burst the bulbs on the sign. Derpy wore a huge smile on her face and looked toward Discord. Discord stood with charred guitar in hand, and bowed down low to his opponent. He then applauded along with the crowd, giving Derpy a wink and a smile.
Down below, Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Twilight all cheered on their friend, drowning out even the roar of the masses behind them.
“That was totally awesome!!”
“Way to go, Derpy!”
“Now that’s some fine playin’ right there!”
Rainbow Dash shot up to Derpy’s platform, giving her a big hug. “I never knew you knew how to play! You were so cool up there!”
Derpy scratched the back of her head and blushed. “Aw, thanks, Dash.”
“Oh, man! You gotta show me how to shred like that!” Rainbow Dash said, nearly tripping over herself in her excitement.
“Well, well,” Discord said. “Seems like you’ve beaten me, Derpy.”
Derpy waved a hoof at him and laughed. “Hey, comon! You played pretty good, too!”
Discord chuckled to himself. “I’ll take that as a complement. Your reward.”
The glistening golden guitar floated down to Derpy from above right into her forearms. She smiled as wide as she ever had and quickly slung it over her shoulder, abandoning her now destroyed old guitar. She held in in front of her, feeling out the magnificent work of art. Satisfied, Discord turned to leave.
“Mister Discord?” Derpy asked.
“Hmm?”
She grasped her new guitar firmly. “If you ever want to play again, I’m always ready for a session. All you gotta do is call.”
Discord gave her a warm smile. “Oh, I most certainly will. Might learn a thing or two from you.”
Derpy laughed. “Well, like I said before, I’m really pretty good!”
The crowd started to chant, chant a single word.
Encore! Encore! Encore! Encore!
Derpy gave a sheepish smile. “W-well, I don’t know…”
“Go on, Derpy,” Discord exhorted her, gesturing to the teeming masses. “Show them how it’s done.”
Derpy brought a hoof to her chin. “Well… okay!”
She posed proudly with her new golden guitar, ready to go another round. She struck out a chord.
“Fire on the mountains, run boys run! Discord’s in the house of the rising sun! Muffin in the bread pan, pickin out dough! Granny does your dog bite? No child noOOoo!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The door to the cottage swung open as Fluttershy stepped inside, shaking off the cold of the night air. Discord lazily shifted his attention to the intruding mare before returning his attention back to his projector sphere.
“Ah, you’ve returned,” Discord said. “How was the rescue?”
Fluttershy shed her bulky outdoor clothing. “We were able to help him back to his dam for proper treatment. He’ll make a full recovery.”
Discord yawned. “That’s good to hear.”
“How was your day, Discord?” She curled up on the chair next to the couch Discord was lounging in. “Did you have fun at the Harvest Festival?”
“To be honest, it was a bit dull,” he replied. “But I found a way to entertain myself.” He got up from the couch and tossed Fluttershy the projector sphere. “Anyway, I must be going. Here’s the recording. I didn’t miss a single detail.”
Fluttershy held it up and smiled. “Oh thank you, Discord! This means a lot to me, really.”
He gave her a sly smile. “Anytime, Fluttershy. Toodles.”
With the snap of his fingers, he disappeared in a cloud of smoke. Fluttershy turned her attention to the sphere and tapped the core, signaling the playback. One of her animal friends brought over a cup of hot chocolate and she snuggled in to watch the nice, relaxing festival.
At first it she enjoyed what she saw, but her expression soon changed in only a few minutes. “Oh…”
“Oh my…”