The city of Ponyville has been in trouble, not quite this one. Enough suicides in this city is enough to raise red flags in Twilight's head to start investigating, but with given her recent loss: she's been a little unstable recently.
Even the smallest change can entirely rewrite someone's mindset.
Long suppressed Depression could leave a long impact of a young adult mare, especially one whose been grieving for an entire year, the grieving process of an magically emotional Twilight is complicated.
That was made perfectly clear when the small community of Ponyville is killing each other off, by suicide. The rates of these self caused deaths are enough to raise the red flags of Twilight, but none to the concern of the guards.
"I know it ain't right, but we can't help her like this," Apple Jack, defeated, stated. "The more we pressure tha' poor thing, the less we're helpin' her."
"So what? You're just giving up?!" The impulsive nature of Rainbow Dash shot up from her glance, off of her haunches and into the sky; hovering furiously at Apple Jack's words. "She's our friend, friends don't abandon friends!"
"Well..." Fluttershy started, but was cut off by Apple Jack's off-timed retort.
"We ain't helpin' her here!" Apple Jack once again stated, stamping her hoof down onto the pavement. "The best thang' we can do is make sure she knows she's not along-"
"Oh, man! That's such a contradiction!" Rainbow mistook along for alone. "`Th' mo-wre we pressare tha' poor thang, the less we're 'elpin' her! Eeyuk!"
"That was so unnecessary!" Rarity finally quipped, glaring at Rainbow Dash's intentional mocking of Apple Jack's accent.
Apple Jack didn't look amused, as in matter of fact, her eyes narrowed to a slither of green.
Two Years Later
My name is Twilight Sparkle.
Can I mention how much I despise this city?
The snow pierced through the sky like a bullet through my throat and abdominal regions, my lungs burned in the shrilly freezing temperature. My jacket shuffled up closer to my shoulders and neck, the winter of Canterlot is a lot more bitter than I have expected. I flicked snow put of my ear with a twitch, the snow was fuzzier than the snow in Ponyville. Maybe it was all of the pollution in Canterlot, the air here was thicker than the air of a nice fertilized farm. I suspected as much from a preposterous city.
It was Hearts Warming Eve, the polluted snow has already been falling quickly and hard. The snow wasn't entirely pure white, as there was tinges of grey inside of these piles of white snow on the ground. Hooves and tire tracks littered the snow, mine included. I don't like snow as much as I did when Heart's Warming's Eve in Ponyville, maybe it was the lack of stuck up people who believed you owed the everything or some stupid bullshit like that.
Why do I hate this city for some reason?
It houses some of the most important ponies in this day and age, especially the princesses and the bunker of the Royal Guards on the outskirts of town. Whoever decided placing one of the most populated barrack of the Royal Guards so close to a city this functional should make Mayor Mare take notes, apparently keeping the best defense on the most important icons in a city so riddled with greed that it'll make Wall Street look like a drunk accountant's mistake.
Again, why do I hate this city so much?
Greed, nothing but greed in this city. It's disgusting.
It was either really dark at night, or way too early too be outside without looking suspicious. Especially with what I'm wearing, according to Rarity's annoying chattering in my ears, I'm dressed like "The Nightcrawler version of a pedophile". Not that I can blame her, Pinkie Pie did dress me like this, added a nice little black bow-tie on the collar for "dramatically awesome" effects.
I'm wearing a grey jacket, more of a trench coat really. The black bow-tie making it a really bad touch, at least it's warm enough to walk the streets of Canterlot. My hoof prints were being covered by the snow that's still falling, crunching and breaking under hey made my four hooves. My legs felt numb, the cold biting into my exposed skin. My face felt raw from sniffling, a cold is the last thing I needed.
"Merry Heart's Warmings Eve, Twilight!!" Some random pony, dressed like a reindeer with hearts painted on her pink jacket, gleefully said.
I didn't replied, strutting past.
"Twilight!" The pony called after me, just what I needed. "It's me! Cadence! Can't you see?"
I side-glanced her. "Have a happy Go to Hell"
"Aw, come one Twily!" Cadence had gotten use to my sharp tongue as of lately, shame, I was hoping she would break down and cry. "This is one of your bad days, I understand."
"I'm not having one of those days, I just need some alone time," I just kept walking, but she was following me. I think she's obsessed with fixing me, trying to show me the 'warmth of love' again. This is as soft as it gets, I could just turn around and kick the shit out of her and throw her in the crystal dungeon again just to shut her up.
"You spent year and a half in your room crying," Cadence, again, kept pressing. I wish she would just shut up, I already five murderers waiting for me at home to do this for me. Why do I want to be alone? We the ponies are idiots, and it took one death for me to realize that somethings shouldn't change, and it's better if they would just stay the same. "You haven't even been out of ponyville until today!"
"No," I shuffled up my jacket closer, "I spent a year and a half in my room trying to forget."
"You can't forget how to love some-pony else," Cadence fretted, again with the obsession of fixing me. "It'll destroy you, Twilight"
"No, they destroyed me," I stopped and coldly glared at Cadence, who stopped and flinched as if I was about to swing at her. "I just recovered, and now every-pony doesn't like the way I am. "
"It's just depression.." Cadence replied, her voice lowering. "Did you take your medicine today?"
I snorted.
"If I don't take that stupid pill," I growled, sniffling again from the snow. "I go to a mental health center."
Cadence was quiet for a minute, her eyes quavering slightly as the colors of her eyes became fuller again. I know that spell, it was a quick meditation spell called Meditatio Sui. I know Cadence is a princess, and even the Princess of Love has her limits when it comes to frustration. She knew from the moment I came out of my house, she would forever try to help me change back.
Cadence sighed.
"Would you at least come inside for the night?" Cadence looked tired, and to be honest: I haven't slept in two days. "Just for the night, and you can leave anytime you want after you slept."
"...why?"
"Please Twilight, you're just wandering the streets like a serial killer," Cadence continued. "You know Shining Armor won't forgive himself if anything happened to you."
"...Fine," I'll bite, I need sleep anyways. "You don't happen to have eggnog, do you?"
"I can always make some," Cadence answered, looking at the time on her watch. "It's only ten, but I guess you deserve it."
Damn right I do.
"I have business to take care of, I'll stop by the house in two minutes, okay?" I needed time to finish what I had to do.
"You have the key right?" I nodded. "Okay, be safe Twily."
"Yeah," I retorted, "Fuck you, I'll see you in a few minutes."
My forehead, just below the horn, slammed into his nose. I stood up on my hind-legs, throwing him into the snow. I stood over him and straddled him, slamming my now swelling hooves into his cheeks and temples. I took his head and banged his skull into the snow, which was also frozen grass.
I stood back up, the dazed Earth Pony holding his bruised body. His body instinctively curling up and trembling, like a helpless colt. He looked like he's had enough, but I didn't. I'm not done, not yet. He didn't save him, and it's his fault that he's in a grave. This stallion was part of the reason I feel this way, and if I could: I would make him chew on glass and make him swallow.
Hell no, until he feels what I feel; what he's done to me, he will never garner my pity.
I grabbed him by his suit collar, and pulled him to his hooves. I threw my free hoof, which was my right, into his ribs. I hit him with an uppercut, and he fell into the alleyway. The Earth Pony landed on the snow covered dumpster, I grabbed him by his cuff again and gave him a a hard right hook. He didn't fall, but he twirled back to his hind-legs. I lost my grip on his collar.
My hoof impacted his face, a quick but hard jab, blood spilling from his lips. His blood splattered across the snow, his glasses flying off of his now bruising face, his eyes widened at the seemingly random mare who is just randomly beating on him. I saw him extend forelegs, trying to garner distance between us. I grabbed one foreleg and shot my hind-leg up, striking him in the belly sharply. He wheezed and doubled over in pain.
No.
I wasn't done.
This old stallion let him die.
I slammed the surgeon to the brick wall, swung him around, and threw him at the dumpster again. The large bang echoed as he landed into the metal, leaving a dent. I picked him back uplifted the dumpster lid and slammed the side of his head into the lip of the dumpster, I held him down as I slammed the dumpster lid onto the right temple of the surgeon. I pulled him out and smacked him loud and hard enough for any foal to turn an flee.
I threw him, the surgeon, deeper into the alley, I had a few words to exchange to this motherfucker.
"W-wait!" The surgeon's eyes, as swollen and covered in blood were, widen at the sight of me as I finally came into the light. I looked to the right to see a mirror with a reflection of myself, and I almost jumped out of my fur at what I saw. I had dark circles outlining my eyes, my eyes looked pinkish from lack of sleep. My coat was ungroomed, despite me taking a shower earlier. My mane was rustled, well, given that I just kicked the shit out of this pony.
I quickly moved my iris to the corner of my eye to see the surgeon trying to run past me, while I was busy looking in the mirror. I coiled up, my hind-legs building pressure, and I released that potential energy into kinetic energy as both hooves landed on the side of the surgeon. I heard ribs crack, and a sharp gasp from the old stallion. The stallion slid down, gasping.
I reached into my jacket and took out a magnum, I took it out of the strap and stuck it under his chin. I picked the surgeon up and threw him into the corner. The surgeon didn't talk much before, I respected that. I just wanted him to get better, the best care he could get by one of the best surgeons.
Right now, I had the magnum in front his eyes; I pulled the hammer down ominously to show the gun was armed and stuck it in between the eyes of the surgeon. The surgeon's swollen eyes widen, and his heart fluttered. Tears started to form into his bruised and bloody face, he lifted his hooves up, silently pleading with me.
"Please, Ms. Sparkle," He pleaded, his body weakly huffing from the broken ribs. "I-i'm sorry about the patient! There was nothing we could do!"
"You couldn't do anything because you learned my insurance didn't cover his treatment," I pressed the gun deeper into his forehead, he's going to stop lying to me. "You wouldn't do anything!"
"Look! S-"
"Don't you dare say his fucking name," I slammed the gun into his nose, the nose crunched audibly. "Don't you ever taint his name with your lying cunt you call a mouth."
The surgeon yelped, holding his nose as it gushed blood like a a steady river of carmine. Heh, like that time where the beavers refused to let the dam go, and Discord was skating and shit like that. I remember that day, and it caused me to let out a giggle. I snorted, and started to giggle. I started to laugh hysterically, I wiped the building tears of the laughter from my eyes.
"y-what!? You psycho!" The surgeon seemed disturbed by my laughter.
"I'm not a psycho, I just feel happy right now. " I let the gun drop, less interested in him. I pet the surgeon on his head, he was definitely balding and it made me snort. I chuckled and turned, a big skip in my step. I feel, glow-y. I feel like the sun just landed on my coat, and the transition from angry to gleeful made me chuckle again.
I turned around at the surgeon, whom picked up the magnum and aimed it at me.
The surgeon pulled the trigger, and instead of a bullet, it was more of a pleasant surprise.
Chapter One: Ex-Ex-Best Brother Best Friends Forever.
"Do you understand what I said, Miss Sparkle?" The Doctor asked, cutting off my train of thought. I already knew, it wasn't that hard to look up my own syndromes with the books lying around. However, it could never hurt to be completely sure.... I don't even know anymore, did I hear her correctly? Let's just go with what ever comes out of my mouth...
That's right Twilight, just be confident. You'll be alright. Spike sat next to me, looking at me with concerned eyes. He smiled softly, putting his ghostly claw on my purple shoulder. I felt cold and shuddered from the sheer creepiness and the chill of a ghost, if the ghost was only there. Is it there? I sure hope so. If not, I'm going to stay here for another few weeks. If not years.
"Yes, I heard you..." I said,my shoulders huddled inwards, "I have Schizophrenia."
"You might, that's what I said. For the mean time, just take your standard medication and you'll be fine. Also, and just in case, I'm also diagnosing you with Manic Depression," The Doctor stated, "You've been showing signs of moodswings, and I'm afraid we might need to do more tests."
"Absolutely not," I flatly said, "I don't consent to tests, just treat me."
"Normally, we would have forced you, but since the Princess signed you off as mentally competent; there's not much we can do." The Doctor shrugged, "However, you might want to check which variation of M. Depression you have."
"How many variations are there?" I asked, scratching my cheek.
"Depends on the pony," The Doctor answered, " However, the most are usually the two types: Felix Ira and Tristitia laeta."
"How will I know if I have a moodswing?" I asked,
"You don't, it just happens and your brain will rationalize it," The Doctor answered again, it'll depend how bad it is. "Are you sure you don't want me to check you into a health center?"
"Yes, I just need to take it easy." I replied, looking back at the Ghostly Spike, whom was cuddling up to me like he use to do when he was a little dragon.
"Right, anything else you need?" The Doctor took his pen into kinesis and wrote on his prescription pad.
"No,"
"Right. Thank you for your time, again, I'm sorry about Sp-"
I glared at the doctor, gritting my teeth.
"Don't say his name, please."
Two Years Later
"You were happy last night!"
"I was drunk last night,"
I wasn't drunk until I came in through the door last night, I took a shower, and had a lot of eggnog. Even though the taste of alcohol is still absolutely horrible for me, I accepted the drink to dull the pain in my hooves. I had my hooves covered in a bandage, as I purposefully cut my hoof so I could make an excuse to hide my forehooves from my brother.
Speaking of my brother, he was ecstatic to learn that I was in town, less ecstatic when he learned I was out almost past twelve at night. Much less when he had to leave to investigate an vicious assault on Doctor/Surgeon Forceps that I probably had nothing to do with. I don't know what I done, because I actually lied about taking my medicine.
Sue me, I forgot, and he got what was coming to him.
"Why can't you accept being happy?" Cadence frowned, sipping her orange juice.
"Because I'm miserable?" I retorted sarcastically, opening my pill bottle. I had no intent of flipping out like that again, given by the face I actually slammed Doctor Forceps head into the dumpster. I don't regret kicking the shit out of him, but I don't want to hurt any other idiot who don't deserve it. I also opened up my Anti-Depressants, which also helps the Schizophrenia. I don't have the energy for a fucking seance of the one person I just want to forget, and I don't want to be bothered about him.
"You're miserable because you can't move one," Cadence's eyes were once again full in color, she fucking did Meditatio Sui. "I know it hurts to be without Sp-"
"Don't even say his name," I warned, glaring at her from over my half-filled glass of milk. Why can't these dense ponies learn that when I want to forget, I don't want to be reminded twenty times a day about his death.
"To be without your pal, and to feel like it's your fault.."
"Cadence," I narrowed my eyes, she's only encouraging my splitting headache right now. "Fucking drop the subject, or shut the hell up."
"Twilight, you have to face the reality instead of hiding in denial!"
"I'm not in fucking denial!" My gripped on my glass of milk made the glass break, shards digging into my bandage and spilling milk and droplets of blood to the tablecloth. "I'm ridden with guilt, but it's not my fault. It's those five idiots who can't figure out when a dragon is about to die!"
"That's not fair to them!" Cadence snapped, and I shut my mouth. Cadence never liked it when I blamed his death on my former friends, and it was there fault. They killed him, and they can sleep easily at night for it. I hate them, I wished I never met them. Ever since I took that god damn assignment Celestia gave me, I've been bombarded with shit that I had to fix. Like a hydra, a Ursa Minor, a boastful mare, wolves made of fucking wood.
The door opened and slammed shut, and I knew what that meant. Shining was furious, and I wonder to whom he's upset with. I turned to Cadence. My anger weaning, and I just felt irritable but I honestly didn't want to have a falling out with Cadence and Shining Armor too. It would be hard and straining on both sides of the bout, and the last thing I want was to be hated by my own brother.
"Sorry," and I finished my milk. Cadence looked at me with sympathy filling her eyes, she gave me too many chances but she's still willing to try and help me. "I can't be helped, I can't heal anymore than I am, and I wish that I could but I can't; and it's not your fault. "
"It's not any-pony's fault, Twilight," Cadence finished quietly, although it was untrue to me. Not something I would say, as there are five ponies who still don't have the same feeling as me but it's a start.
Shining walked into the kitchen and dropped a magnum on the table in front of us, and at first, I didn't even recognize it until I noticed the ruby colored stands in the designed of the revolver. I didn't show any expression on my face, or at least I knew of, and I stared blankly at the gun. Being quiet isn't lying, because it was a gun I never seen before or remember about.
"Know anything about this, ladies?" Shining Armor calmly asked, as he sat down at the end of the table. Shining didn't favor either of us with his eyes, adding onto the already uncomfortable situation that's happening between Cadence and I; his hooves rapped and tapped on the table for a second before turning back to me.
"No..." Cadence murmured truthfully, "Should I?"
"I don't think so, how about you Twilight?"
Shit, he usually calls me by my full name when he suspects something of me. I looked back at the gun and back at Shining, my eyes narrowed for a second and opened back up normally. I know this song and dance, Shining Armor's interrogation methods usually rely on him building up a brooding atmosphere before he completely destroys it with hard facts.
I didn't answer, giving the gun a blank stare.
"Seen Doctor Forceps lately?" Shining quizzed, looking me now and completely ignoring Cadence. His eyes gazed downwards onto the table and back on me, his stare never leaving my eyes. I think he expected me to be uncomfortable under his gaze, like I was during his and Cadence's wedding. I simply sat there, leaning back and getting comfortable, my tail in my lap.
"What happened to your hooves?"
"Shining, she cut her hooves last night," Cadence quipped, which was true in a way. What I failed to tell her about was the fact I did it on purpose.
"Both of them?" Shining gave me a condescending look, holding up a black bow-tie. My bow-tie, and there was flecks of Forceps blood. I looked back at Shining Armor and he raised an eyebrow.
"Recognize this?"
"It's ugly," I admitted, "And it's mine."
"You know what happened to Forceps?"
"Nope," I made it obvious I was lying, to the point of sarcasm. Cadence didn't catch this by her confused look, not understanding the little spoken speech me and my EX-Big Brother Best Friend Forever. I feel the mutual understanding between the two of us, but we both couldn't let Cadence know what I did.
"Would you excuse us Cadence?" Shining asked his wife, but not averting his eyes.
"Twilight, you didn't.."
"I didn't, otherwise Shining wouldn't have came here alone."
"I'll uh... go check up on the bills..." Cadence got up and quickly excused herself out of the kitchen, making herself scare. She went upstairs, and I heard the door closed. She would try to listen in, I know she would. She hasn't given me her word that she wouldn't, so she wouldn't mind if I create a magic distortion field around me and Shining. The spell was called Stationem Detineamini
Shining gotten smarter in the two years I was gone, He created a one-way sound barrier spell called Silentium. Silentium isn't as complicated as a spell for a Captain, such as Shining Armor, to use when discussing Diplomacy or espionage. My spell, Stationem Detineamini was used as counter-intelligence.
We both had the same idea. This is either good, or really bad.
"You think I killed him?" I asked, positive. That gun right there is a prop and we both know it, no one in their right mind will sell me a firearm unless I want the gun for almost twice the price. The high decal of this prop gun was cleverly done by an artist, so whom ever sees this thing with an untrained eye will immediately see a gun.
"You're still here, so no. You didn't."
"You expect me to run?"
"I expect you to come clean, Twilight," Shining Armor's face twitched, he was not happy with me and his blood was boiling to know I was happily skipping and dodging the questions purposefully. "I have enough problems as it is, I don't need my sister unleashed and snarling."
I thought for a second.
"What do you mean?"
Shining slammed his hoof onto the table, the large bang ringing through our bubble shield. "You knew for a fact he would be here, and in the middle of a snowstorm was the perfect moment to exact you own little vendetta against him."
"I'm not an idiot," I felt insulted at his understanding of my intelligence. "A gun?"
"No, I think you wanted to scare him," Shining replied, his eyes narrowing.
"We both know the why, but not the what and the how," I replied, a smug smile appearing on my face.
He's getting warmer.
I love this game.
"A gun."
"Why would I do that?"
"Not just any gun," Shining armor picked it up and pulled the hammer back on it, he pointed at a vase and pulled the trigger. Out sprung a flag with the words you're silent or you're asleep. My eyebrow raised.
"A gag gun," I finished.
"Pinkie Pie's gag gun."
"Where are you going with this?"
Shining curled his lips upwards, giving way to a proud look.
"You're smart you know that? You had half of the idiots on the force thinking it was a mugging gone wrong, as his wallet and his jewlry were taken." Shining Armor chuckled, "I know you didn't take them, too easy to be traced back."
"I took his teeth out," I said, unwrapping my hooves. "I promise to but back in when I'm done."
"Look, I can only cover your ass for so long. That bloody surgeon's screaming to the hill valley your name, but they keep ruling you out because you haven't shown up in two years." Shining shone his horn, and the swelling on my hooves went down to show bruising on my hoof. "That, and no one person keeps robbing the same pony."
"You're condoning this?"
"The dastard fucked with our family, your family." Shining leaned back, his dumb smile never leaving his face. "Because we couldn't pay him up front, screw him."
"How bad is he?"
"You beat the hell out of him," Shining looked even prouder, surprisingly. I was getting a little scared to be honest. This can't be Shining, no way. Maybe me disappearing made him hate Doctor Forceps, but the fact he's covering for me and being proud of me for hurting a pony. "Better than any guard in centuries had the balls to do."
"Granted, he's forty years old." I replied, rubbing my hooves.
"Where'd you learn to fight like that? It's not any of the training the guards use!" Shining Armor was interested now.
"I'm not in trouble for hurting him?"
"Nah, letting you off with a warning."
"He's not pressing charges?" I asked,
"Next one will cost ya." He dodged,
"You mean to tell me he isn't pressing charges?"
"Nope, we promised we would pay for the treatment under your name and a forged signature," Are you sure you aren't a spy, Shining? "Now tell me."
"Griffon Mixed Martial Arts," I admitted.
"Huh?" Shining armor looked at me confused, like he's never studied the Art of War.
"Sambo, ever heard of it?"
"Nope, who taught you?"
"Sorry, but these lips are sealed,"
Nobody, I watched a lot of the MMA sports (after being desensitized about the hitting and choking and bending of limbs) and read a bit. A tutorial of Sambo was published in actual volumes, and simple clones of myself using the spell Alia Mihi allowed me to practice. I wouldn't really say I'm an expert at this, but I know enough to at least handle myself if I came close to a fight.
"What are you doing in Canterlot anyways, you didn't come all the way over here just to beat up on that surgeon again." Shining Armor seriously had a bad taste in his mouth every time he says that earth pony's name. I couldn't blame him for it, I get furious every time I see the greedy and slimey bastard.
How much I just wanted to actually have a real gun, but no. Vengeance solves nothing in this situation, I want to totally destroy his career and Doctor Forceps as a pony. Just killing him won't bring him back, and it won't solve the ease of pain on my mind. Beating the air out of him, maybe breaking a few bones shouldn't hurt.
Shouldn't hurt me at least.
"I don't want to go home, especially not on this day," I unfolded my wings and stretched them.
"Hey Twily?"
"Asshole?" I replied, mocking his question.
"Whatever," Shining Armor's eyes rolled, "Why did you turn down Celestia offer on becoming a princess?"
"Maybe the fact I'm going to outlive everyone I know and care about?" I answered, "Excluding the Princesses, you, Cadence, maybe maybe Blueblood."
"You're not worried about your friends?" Shining asked,
"Not my friends anymore, more or less Elements of Harmony members who won't leave me the hell alone?" I grunted that sentence.
"You changed, Twilight," Shining Armor stated, "I'm not sure if it's for the better."
"Nobody changes for the better, we all get worse everyday," I said, "It's what makes us stronger."
The train station was advance, even by my complex standards. The train didn't run on gas as it more or less ran on more ecosystem-friendly methods of fueling. I will never begin to wrap my head around the science of using rain mixed with battery acid to push a ton of steel and ponies to one place to another.
It was the day after Heart's Warming Eve, and Winter Wrap up won't be too long after today. I won't participate in that event, maybe I'll just disappear again until Spring where I won't have to wear such a outfit such as this trench coat. I'd tear it off and leave it for a homeless bum, but that bum doesn't deserve the warmth like I do. I don't punish myself for selfish reasons, I'd rather be selfish than cold.
Platform Three, Cabin Two, Train One. I found humor on my ticket, it made me smile just a little.
I scratched my cheek as the train came closer, my hooves stuffed in my pocket as I sat on a bench lazily. My coat was tied up tightly, and I sat like that weirdo Lyra Heartstrings. I had a lit cigarette on my lips, anchored with my teeth. Because of this fact, many ponies who had little ones moved away, those with health problems were burdened to move. Under my trench coat was grey long-johns and a sweater, it was way too fucking cold outside to just be outside of Canterlot.
"Twilight!" Rarity, whom was sitting next to me, scolded irritably. She was sitting on the bench with a sort of swagger to her, her posture straighter than anything Rainbow Dash has ever seen. "It wouldn't kill you to at least sit like a lady?"
I spread my legs slightly further, "Fucking bite me."
It took one Leap of Faith to destroy mine. I'll never get it back. The faith in those around me, doesn't shine. It doesn't hurt me a little bit, to be truthful with my lack of slack. I wallow in disdain, not distress I'm not looking for any sympathy I'm looking to forget my mental stress And I don't think I'll ever see the end of this tortuous symphony, The ruler has lift the red card And comes chaos over harmony.
I sat in my seat, still scornfully glaring at Rarity for just being in the same booth as me; I can't even fucking travel to a different city without a Full Detail latched onto my Cutie Mark. Apparently the Elements were worried about me leaving the city without telling them, like I needed their god damn permission to be a grown mare who don't need no fucking follower.
"Miss, please," A mare in a blue attendee suit stood above me, her green disdainful glare attempting pierce my heart and get to fear. I looked up disinterestedly, knowing for the third time in a row what she wanted me to do. I took a deep inhale of smoke and let it exhale from my nostrils, the nicotine filling my body and making my head buzz lightly. "There are reasons why ponies don't smoke on a train, it's courtesy."
A sickly looking passenger looked at me, pleadingly he silently begged me to put out my lit fag. I noticed his oxygen tank under his seat and his mask latched tightly around his muzzle. I shot a sharp glare at the pony and he quickly went back to his soduko puzzle and hacking coughs, as if it would help me pity his situation and put the cigarette out.
"Twilight," Rarity didn't even look up from her phone, but she did take my cigarette from my lips with magic, snapped it in half, and threw my cigarette out the window. I grit my teeth tightly, before I said anything to gather attention. I looked back at the train attendee and I flicked my ear with an annoyed expression.
"Shoo!" I dismissed, which made the blue suited mare glare at me fiercely. "And get me some chocolate pudding."
"Seriously, Twilight?" Rarity looked away from her phone to lightly glare at me, "It's ten in the morning."
I looked back at the attendee and crossed my fore-hooves, this mare was interrupting my intensive reading of Darkly Dreaming Decimal. "Seriously though, go away, you have split ends you need to take care of."
"Can't you at least pretend to be nice?" Rarity whined, which made me groan and sink further in my seat. The attendee was quickly going away from my cabin, her chin lifted slightly too far up to be insulted. The attendee was going to retreat, cry, maybe down a little vodka, and hopefully reevaluate her life before she decided she was big enough to try to pierce me.
"No," I answered, trying to focus reading.
"Not even for this train ride?" She continued whining. "Fuck off, Rarity," I tried to dismiss.
"Please?" "With a cherry on top?"
"...Sure?" "Alright then,"
I turned to her with the biggest scowl I can muster. "I hate cherries,"
"Oh... well..." "Go fuck yourself,"
The minutes flew past, and I was constantly rubbing my eyes too keep myself awake from my boredom. I flicked my ears, fluttered my eyes, tied and untied my tench coat restlessly, and kicked the seat in front of me (much to the despair of Rarity and Cloud Chaser). I yawned and my eyes traveled over the other passengers, examining all of them because I felt like judging ponies.
It didn't take long before I caught eyes with a stallion, who was trying a little too hard to avoid being detected looking at me. The stallion was orange with a flipped back blue mane, a darker shade of blue covered his irises. He was sitting in a way where I would be in the corner of his eyes, his hooves covering his chest.
There were two bottles of hard liquor on his retractable platform, both of them empty. I chuckled dryly, this pony was drunker than Berry Punch on New Years Day. Further inspection on his face, he had a red tinge on his cheeks, obviously from drinking, and a dumb smile. I fully turned my head to him, my chin resting on my hoof, I raised my eyebrows at him but lidded my eyelids; giving him bedroom eyes with a sultry smile.
The, probable tipsy, stallion may have internally panicked, looking ahead and avoiding my gaze. I chuckled, turning my head forwards. You see, I find the reactions of flirting with random stallions hilarious. It's always the surprise, they're eyes would widen slightly and they would flinch slightly. Then the upcoming lust in their eyes, and then the need in their eyes for something they can't have, me as an example.
I know it's a little whorish, but I'm twenty-four; I'll do whatever the fuck I want.
Besides, it's not like I go around fucking any good looking stallion. I prefer being what stallions call a cold hearted bitch, allowing them to court me when I had no intention of sex or a relationship. Because of this, many ponies know better than to attempt to court me at all; if I feel lonely at night, I'll just get drunk at a bar and go home with someone.
That was sarcasm, you perverted fucks.
I honestly have no regard for romance anymore, as given by me barely recognizing this stallion as Flash Sentry. Despite my best ways to make it clear I had little interest in him, despite the events that had transpired in the mirror, the debauchery with Simmering Sunset, he had fallen for me. Rather hard. I was flattered, but that was only days before the pain started.
I stood up, careful not to wake a sleeping Rarity, and stepped out of my seat. I leaned into Flash Sentry's seat, which made his face go redder due to the proximity of our bodies. I placed a hoof on his thigh, my head pressing against his head. Softly I nibbled on the tip of his ear, just barely grazing.
"No," I simply whispered, my voice still seductively just for the added teasing. "Not in a million years, even though I'll outlive you.
~~~
I say that, although, moments later: I'm walking out of the bathroom with an unconscious and spent Flash Sentry sitting on the toilet, his body covered with my trench coat. I closed the door, the sliding plastic door making a clicking sound as the locks inserted into their proper place. I had to fix my mane before Rarity got suspicious, so I just simply tied it up into a ironic ponytail now. Pushing aside the shame of screwing a pony I don't even love, I felt more relaxed and a skip in my hooves.
I blinked, and the there was a ghostly figure of a disappointed Spike, arms crossed and his eyes judging severly. I rolled my eyes at him and continued my stroll back to my seat, even though it felt like I wasn't even moving. I looked at my hooves and I was moving my hooves, but it was like I was on a treadmill.
"You have a wonderful way of coping," Spike remarked dryly, an eyebrow lowered as the other one raised.
"I could always become a hermit, but I'm not that crazy," I groaned, "Go away."
"You went against your own morals, your principles, by sleeping with that stallion," Spike shook his head, "You know he's madly in love."
"With me, yeah yeah, I addressed this already," I quickly dismissed, "I know I shouldn't and I have no intention on doing it again; can you go away now?"
"Not even a little greeting? I'm offended," Spike calmly picked at his teeth, even in the afterlife he can't take care of his own personal hygiene. "You know I can read your mind, right?"
"I was hoping you could," I shot sarcastically, "It would have been terrible if you just left my mind, can you go away now?"
"How many times do I have to apologize?" Spike groaned, his hand being dragged across his face in frustration. "I had no intentions of dying, okay?"
"Oh fuck off," I rolled my eyes, "And go away."
"But you're a idiot," Spike leaned on the wall, his eyes digging into mine. "You're pushing away everypony that just wants to help you, pretty soon: you're going to end up alone."
"Think of the change in my life like a Chemical Reaction, it can't fucking revert itself," I finally grabbed control of my mind and stepped away from Spike, walking into a different and isolated cabin filled with crates and goods.
On the highest box, there was Spike laying on his stomach and lazily glancing at me. "You didn't even ask why I'm still here,"
"I don't care," I groaned. "Go away."
"You know I'm not entirely here, all the way at least," Spike continued, "What about you? Are you entirely here?"
"What are you talking about, I'm pretty sure I'm a physical entity," I shot back, rubbing my aching head. "Go away."
"Ouch," Spike rolled his eyes, "My body-less soul aches with every time you tell me to go away."
"My head hurts the more you bullshit around," I spat, throwing some hay off the ground at him.
"Twilight, use your head," Spike groaned finally, "I'm trying to be omnipotent and stuff, and you keep messing that up for me."
"You used omnipotent wrong," I remarked dryly.
"No I didn't," Spike defended, which made me roll my eyes.
"You're not a God, there, Ghostboy," I mocked, "You meanOminous?"
"..." Spike looked at me blankly before growling in pure frustration. "FINE!"
"Go away," I sighed, wishing he would leave.
"whatever, shut up and listen," Spike snapped, I closed my mouth and listened. "These crates are weapons."
"Fucking bullshit," I called.
"Check," Spike tapped the crate next to me, "I'll bet my eternal soul and my 72 Virgins."
I used a levitation spell, Fluitantis Items to pry the lid off of the orange crate. I peeled it off effortlessly and dug through the hay, my hooves touching something metal and wood. I grabbed it and pulled it out, my heart skipped a beat when it came into the light and my brain recognized what it was.
An AK 47.
"That's fucking metal," I said examining it, "But what does it have to do with me?"
"Well," Spike jumped down from the boxes, "There are ponies about to rob this train...."
"So?"
"And possibly kill everyone on board..."
"Well shit," I rolled my eyes, "I call bullshit."
"Twilight, you do realize they're kiling everyone by sending a suicide bomber?"
"Oh shit," I stretched out my wings, "It would be a shame if I just started flying away."
"You wouldn't!" Spike cried out, "Twilight! Innocent Ponies will die!"
"Not all of them are innocent," I rolled my eyes.
"You're willing to let hundreds of ponies die because it'll let Rarity die too?!" Spike gasped.
"Sounds like a plan," I grunted, "Fucking hate her anyways, telling me to fucking sit like a lady."
