Down the Rabbit Hole
It was a nice warm day in the glade as Twilight read from her book while sitting under a tree. She read, “…’and had been of late much accustomed to Canterlot life and young age. Gawain and Morcolt, the Earls of Griffonstone and Maretonia, declared for them.” Just then, a bare daisy stalk fell down on her head while a voice said, “Yawn. Why must you read from a boring book about past rulers? It’s supposed to be a fun outing, for crying out loud!”
Twilight glared up at Discord, who was sitting on the tree branch above her with Gummy and Owlowiscious, and answered, “If you don’t learn from history, then how does one prepare for the twists and turns in life?” Discord waved his claw nonchalantly and said, “Oh, pshaw! As if I would have twists and turns in my life. I invented twists and turns!” Twilight clearly remembered the riddle he gave her and her friends when they first met him. At the memory of that, she grumbled, “So you tell me.”
She returned to her book and continued reading, “’And even Star Swirl, a powerful unicorn wizard, agreed to meet with the sisters and offer them the crown.” Meanwhile, Discord had tuned out Twilight’s reading and focused on making daisy chains. When he was finished, he put one on top of Gummy’s head and declared, “Behold, Princess Gummy!” He put another one on Owlowiscious’s head as he said, “And you, Princess Owlowiscious!” The owl wasn’t too pleased with this and he shook off his daisy crown. It fell on Twilight while she was reading and made her irked.
Discord, who was chuckling to the whole thing, suddenly stopped when he heard Twilight scold, “Discord! Don’t you ever pay attention once in a while?” Discord crossed his arms, lied on his stomach, and remarked, “Well, as you can see, I don’t pay much attention to books with no pictures in them.” Twilight closed her book and said, “There are many great books in the world without pictures.” Discord lied back against the tree as he said, “In your world, perhaps. But if it was my world, the books would be nothing but pictures.” The alicorn pointed out, “You did try to make it your own, and look how much nonsense there was.”
The draconequus said, “Precisely. If Equestria was my world, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn’t. And contrariwise, what it is, it wouldn’t be, and what it wouldn’t be, it would. You see?” Owlowiscious’s eyes were still rolling from trying to make sense of Discord’s logic. Gummy, however, sat there completely still and licked his eyeball.
Discord was a bit chagrined by the animals’ reactions, but he chose to overlook it. He stepped down from the tree branch and said to the animals, “In my world, you wouldn’t speak like animals. You’d say, ‘Yes, Princess Bookworm.’” Twilight shouted from the other side of the tree, “I heard that!” Gummy still stared blankly while Owlowiscious gave Discord a stern look for insulting his owner.
The spirit brushed this off and said, “Oh, come now!” He grabbed the two animals as he continued, “You’d be just like ponies! And all the other animals, too. Why, in my world…” He set them down in a field of daisies and sang, “Cats and rabbits would reside in fancy little houses…” He snapped up houses fit for the owl and gator.
“…and be dressed in shoes and hats and trousers…”
At that moment, Discord snapped up clothing for the animals. Owlowiscious found this to be uncomfortable and tried to take his clothes off. Discord then lied on his back in the daisy field.
“…in a world of my own. All the flowers would have very extra special powers. They would sit and talk to me for hours when I’m lonely in a world of my own. There’d be new birds, lots of nice and friendly howdy-do birds. Everyone would have a dozen bluebirds within that world of my own. I could listen to a babbling brook and hear a song that I could understand.”
He lied on his stomach at the edge of a brook as he continued to sing, “I keep wishing it could be that way…because my world would be a wonderland…” He touched the water with his finger and when the water stilled again, the pets saw something odd. Gummy and Owlowiscious both looked up in surprise to see Angel Bunny in a waistcoat strolling on two legs and whistling! Owlowiscious flew right up to Discord’s face and hooted while flapping his wings to get the spirit’s attention. Discord shooed him off and said, “Owly, stop it! I know that Angel Bunny is wearing a waistcoat…” He then turned in shock to see Angel looking at a pocket watch before he finished, “…and a watch?!”
Angel then cried, “Oh, my fur and whiskers!” He began hopping off as he panicked, “I’m late, I’m late, I’m late!” Now Discord was more shocked than before. He stood up as he said, “Hey, nopony else can give that bratty bunny speech but me!” He turned to the pets and muttered, “And quite frankly, I wouldn’t want to hear him talk again after all the sass he gave me.” He began to chase Angel Bunny and called out, “Angel, wait!”
The bunny pointed to his watch and sang, “I’m late, I’m late for a very important date. No time to say ‘hello’, good-bye. I’m late, I’m late, I’m late!” By the time Angel had disappeared behind the dip, Discord came panting up to the slope. As he was catching his breath, Owlowiscious flew up to him while carrying Gummy.
Discord said in between pants, “What’s he…so worked up…about? It’s not like…he’s going…to a party…or something.” When he finally had his energy back, he resumed chasing Angel Bunny, crying, “Come back here, you troublemaker!” Angel, still running, shook his head and continued singing, “No, no, no, no, no, no, no! I’m overdue! I’m really in a stew!”
Before jumping into a rabbit hole, he waved and finished, “No time to say ‘good-bye’, hello. I’m late, I’m late, I’m late!” Discord crouched down to see inside the dark hole. He muttered, “Interesting. Just what is that spoiled rabbit up to?” When Gummy tried to enter, Discord brushed him aside so he could go in first. He grunted as he tried to squeeze into the hole, “You know, Gummy, we really should…look into…the matter!”
After he finally got in, he began to crawl, saying, “After all, we could find some clues.” When the roof of the tunnel got higher, Discord adjusted his position and conjured up detective attire with a magnifying glass in his claw. He grumbled, “Blast this darkness! I can’t see where I’m…” He then fell down a slope and cried out, “…gooooiiiiiing!”
Gummy slid down the steep slope, but Owlowiscious caught him before the gator could tumble down. Discord, though falling, waved to the pets and shouted, “Good-bye, Owly! Good-bye, Gummy! Don’t let Angel get away with this!” As the tunnel got darker, Discord decided to do something. He snapped up a parachute vest and pulled the cord. When the parachute opened, it thankfully slowed his descent.
Discord looked down to see more darkness below him. He remarked, “Well, after this, I shall think nothing of falling down stairs.” He made the parachute disappear and tried flying back up. However, it seemed like he was being dragged down by extra-heavy gravity. He shrugged, “Well, nowhere to go but down now.” Just then, he noticed a lamp on a floating table, so he decided to turn on the light.
He was amazed by all of the things he saw floating in the tunnel. “Oh, my word!” he gasped. “This is exactly as I would envision Equestria in total chaos!” The sights were so lovely to him that he had to wipe away a few tears before coming across a desk with books. He decided to take a look and he remarked, “Huh. All pictures.”
His attention then turned to the chiming grandfather clock before he felt something press against his tush. Discord let go of the book when he saw that he was sitting in a rocking chair. He lied back against it and he sighed, “Ahhhhh…Oh, this is the…” He cried when he fell out of the chair, “…liiife!” He flapped his wings to slow his fall and resumed floating.
Discord remarked, “Goodness. What if I should fall right through the center of the…” He fell through a narrow canal as he cried, “wooorrld…” He flapped his wings as soon as he got out of the canal. However, he noticed that something was funny as he continued, “…and come out the other side where Yakyakistan is? Well, that’s certainly a thought. Would they…?”
Suddenly, something stopped him and Discord gave out a cry when he saw Angel Bunny hopping upside down. He looked at his feet and saw that they were caught on the rod of a curtain. He nervously chuckled as he freed himself and got up on the floor. He gave chase again as he shouted, “Angel Bunny! Wait up, you maniacal little beast!”
He came to a corridor and looked around. Angel Bunny had seemingly disappeared from sight…until Discord heard a door closing. He rushed over and opened the door, only to find another smaller one. He opened that door and came upon yet another door that was smaller than the previous one. He groaned, “Oh, come on! Is this a joke?!” He continued to open more doors as he grunted, “Angel Bunny, you better have a good explanation for all of this!”
Finally, when he opened a door much smaller than the first, there was an entryway. He said, “Well, finally!” He inspected the door’s small size and shrunk himself to a size that matched the entrance. He then casually walked through the door, little realizing what awaited him on the other side.