Derpy Hooves, a grey coated pegasus mare with a dull blond mane and tail, trail of bubbles cutie mark, and golden eyes that looked in two separate directions at the same time, was fly with a satchel of mail. The mailmare landed outside the Cake’s house. A structure that looked like a giant cupcake. As she was dropping off a few letters, a shadow fell over her.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY DERPY!!!” shouted the pony behind her causing her to jump ten feet in the air. After picking herself off the ground she turned to her assailant. The pink coated earth pony mare with a dark pink mane and tail that looked like cotton candy, a cutie mark of three balloons two blue and one yellow in the center, and crystal blue eyes, had a smile from ear to ear. She held out a cake sized muffin with a candle on it. “Here you go, your favorite flavor birthday muffin,” she said beaming.
Derpy took one look at the muffin, then at the mare, and then at the muffin again. And, all was forgiven as a smile graced Derpy face. “Pinkie Pie, you startled me. But, thank you. Oh! You have a letter,” she said as she pulled out said letter.
As the pegasus flew away Pinkie shouted, “Don’t forget, your party is twenty-minutes after you get off, just like you wanted.”
Pinkie started bouncing into the house as she read the letter. When she got to a particular part she stopped in mid-air and reread the portion, at least two more times. She then looked up and said to no pony in particular, “oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh!” By this time gravity was sick of waiting so it reasserted itself on the pink pony. “This is the best possible thing, EEEEeeeevvver!” In a boutique that looks like carousel a alabaster unicorn with an indigo mane and tail, turn to the direction of the bakery. She quickly shook off the feeling as being unimportant.
“Better tell the Cakes I be able to work today.”
“Twilight! Twilight! Twilight Sparkle, I need your help. This is very important I have an emergency,” shouted Pinkie Pie as she slammed the doors to crystal castle wide open.
There was some crashing, something smashed, quite a few things falling, some language not for foals, and lots of clanking of hooves on a crystal flooring. Aviolet coated alicorn mare with a mane and tail of violet shades that had a stripe of magenta, a cutie mark of a starburst surrounded by five white stars, and violet eyes, came crashing though a side door that led into a long hallway. “Pinkie, what’s wrong? What’s the emergency?” said the alicorn, slightly out of breath.
“Um, Twilight, why didn’t you just use the main staircase?” asked Pinkie as she tilted her head slightly.
Twilight blushed slightly as she looked sheepish, before she began stuttering in embarrassment, “I-I-I… kind of got, um, l-lost…”
“Oh! Okie-dokie-loki,” smiled Pinkie.
A second past and Twilight shook herself out of it before turning to Pinkie, “wait a minute, didn’t you say you had an emergency?”
Pinkie just at her waiting…
“Pinkie!” Twilight exclaimed expectantly.
Pinkie looked at her wrist while Twilight got more and more impatient, “What? You said ‘wait a minute’.”
Twilight’s only response was a face hoof. “Okay! Can you please tell me what the emergency is?”
“I received a letter from my grandmother that requires the princesses’ and Discord’s immediate attention.”
“Um, I don’t know how to put this delicately, but aren’t both your grandmothers,” Twilight swallowed hard. “Dead.”
“Well, duh,” Pinkie answered unperturbed by the question. “This is my several times great grandmother, but we just call her grandma. I pretty certain she’s older than Granny Smith. In fact, according to my pa, there’s a legend she older than the Royal Pony Sisters, and Discord.”
“I’m sure that’s just a joke your family tells to give her a hard time,” Twilight said, though it almost sounded like she was trying to convince herself. “You never know, with the legends of her family. Ponies are still scared from that mirror pool.” She let out a sigh before turning and calling, “Spike, I need a letter to the Princesses.”
“Be there in a moment, Twilight,” called a voice from a few floors up. A few moments later, a dragon with purple scales, lime-green underbelly, and emerald green spikes and irises, arrived down the main stairs. “Okay, Twi, what is the letter?”
“Dear Princess Celestia,
Pinkie Pie has an emergency that requires yours, your sister’s, and even Discord’s immediate attention. I apologize for the inconvenience, as she claims a letter from her grandmother has important information.
Sincerely Twilight Sparkle,
Element of Magic of the Elements of Harmany, and Princess of Friendship
Shortly after the letter was sent…
While awaiting the arrival of the three immortal, Rainbow Dash, a cerulean pegasus mare with magneta eyes, a rainbow lighting cutie mark, and a rainbow colored mane and tail, had spotted Pinkie Pie hurrying to the castle and was curious. Now she waited.
In a blinding flash three immortals appeared. Celestia, an alicorn mare with a white coat, magenta eyes, a cutie mark of a blazing sun, and ethereal mane and tail the colors of a sunrise, sat on her throne. She wore gold regalia adorning her hooves, neck and head. In the neck and crown pieces sat a single magenta jewel each. Luna, an alicorn mare with a dark blue coat, cyan eyes, a cutie mark of a crescent moon against a starless night, and ethereal mane and tail the color of a spring night littered with stars. She wore silver regalia on her hooves, an ebony regalia with the insignia of the crescent moon from her cutie mark around her neck, and an ebony crown upon her head. And finally, Discord, a creature with a serpentine body covered in fur, a reptile tail, a griffon’s claw, lion’s paw, a leg of a goat and dragon, a wing of a threshal and a peagus, and a the antler of a deer and blue goat horn on the head of a pony.
“So Twilight Sparkle, what is the emergency?” asked Celestia.
“Pinkie refused to be more forthcoming before you arrived,” Twilight indicated the pink pony.
“I have a letter for you three from my grandma,” Pinkie declared as everyone face faults.
“My little pony, is that really an emergency?” asked Celestia.
Pinkie simply pulled a small piece of paper out and read aloud.
“My Dear Pinkamena,
Read this letter to Celestia, Luna, and Discord as soon as possible.
Grandma
“Beg pardon, while you are a close and valuable friend, why does your relative address us with such infirmity?” asked Luna.
“But, that’s what it says,” she punctuated by showing them.
“Well, since we’re here might as well hear what the old lady has to say,” Discord said nonchalantly.
To my cute little Kinjakan, Gekkaja, and my adorable little Jusendo,
(‘no, it can’t be, she’s dead,’ thought the three immortals in dread)
To my little Kinjakan, I hear you not only have been reunited with Gekkaja, but also let Jusendo out of his little time-out. Also, I hear your student has recently faced one of Happi’s boys. It still surprises me that one of your ‘what that phrase, ah yes’ little ponies was able to finally convince that poor Pantyhose to change his name and make some friends. By the way, how’s your student’s studies?
To my little Gekkaja, I am terrible sorry I couldn’t have been there for you when you needed me most. I hope you can forgive me. And, I hope you are in good health.
To my mischievous Jusendo, I heard you have made some friends. I hope there treating you well, as I’m sure you have been on your best behavior with them.
I’ll be seeing you all soon.
Sincerely, War Party ‘Pie’
Celestia turned to Discord, an accusing glare in her eyes, “I thought you stripped her immortality and power and stored it in that accursed alicorn amulet?”
Twilight gasped in horror at the callous way her former mentor spoke of killing a pony.
“Hey, don’t look at me. Luna dug the cave in that forsaken mountain,” Discord finger pointed.(literally)
“But, but, Celestia buried said cave in molten rock,” Luna added to the blame game.
“You all took part in killing a pony?” shrieked Twilight.
“We, the three of us, also sealed the cave with our combined magic,” Celestia admitted shamefully.
“And, we were quite inebriated,” Luna attempted as an excuse.
“Not to mention, the harshness of her training,” grumbled Discord, unable to stop a full body shiver. The same shiver mirrored by Luna and Celestia.
Twilight couldn’t believe the nonchalant way these three continued to talk about this cold blooded murder of some random pony. As she was going to voice her complaints they were interrupted by uncontrollable giggling. They all turn to look incredulously at the now laughing pink pony.
“That’s… one of… her favorite… stories,” Pinkie barely managed to get out in her laughing fit. “But,… the way she… tells it… she got you all… a bit drunk… before she asked you nicely… the problem is… she got you all a little to drunk… and,… and,… and,… you couldn’t remember where you buried her.” She almost got herself back under control, then she looked at them, “Hahahaha, you should see your faces.”
Twilight just stared not understanding, “why?”
“Oh! That’s simple the founder and first grandmaster of her school of martial arts underwent a similar trial. So, she figured it would be a good test. Of coarse, she needed Discord to drain her magic. Something about it being an unfair advantage, even if she earned it.”
“Wait, wait, wait! Did you say War Party?” asked Rainbow Dash just now coming out of her shock. “As in THE War Party, the pony who defeated Ebony, the only dragon to unite the nomadic dragon tribes. The first and only pony to win every contest in the minotaurs’ decennial celebration of one hundred and fifty days of games. The mare who defeated an entire legion of griffons single hoofed. Mind you we had to surrender that land anyways because the pegasi mistakenly settled on one of their holy sites which caused the conflict. Wow, she was… wait a minute wasn’t that all like thousands of years ago?”
“Yes, yes it was. But, she was also the first to develop wme,” Celestia commented.
“Wme?” asked Twilight.
“Weapons of mass emotion,” clarified Luna.
“Okay… so, who is she, I mean to you three?” asked Twilight.
“And that’s why the guards eyes are enchanted blue, as a reminder of the blue eyed-demon who summon Kaze dragon of the wind.”
“Or atleast that‘s how the griffons tell it.” Added Luna with a smirk.
“Gilda actually came to Equestria because she wanted to meet her. Unfortunately, the other foals made fun of her for believing such old mare’s tales.” Rainbow Dash sighed.
“The pegasi that eventually arrived on the scene couldn’t believe it either even with the evidence of the destruction.” Luna claimed. “I mean an earth-pony causing a tornado, let alone one of that size, would be hard to believe for anyone who didn’t know the pony in question.”
“Wait she was originally an earth pony?” Twilight asked in surprise.
“Not quite,” smirked Celestia. “She had to become an earth-pony first.”
“So she was an alicorn who became an earth pony that became alicorn that went back to being an earth-pony?” Rainbow asked confused.
“No originally she wasn’t even a pony, she was a human?” answered Discord.
“Humans why does that sound familiar?” Rainbow Dash said as she rub her chin with a fore-hoof.
“Anypony else hear that noise?” Asked Twilight at a low rumbling that was steadily getting louder.
“I know I’ve heard it before,” mumbled Rainbow Dash.
Just as the sound reached right outside the castle, THUD! The castle door shook with the force of the impact.
“Um, should someone get that?” Asked Pinkie. As the door swung open it revealed an aquamarine unicorn with a white and cyan mane, and lyre cutie mark.
After peeling herself off the door she marched right up to Celestia and pointed a hoof accusingly. “I knew you have been keeping the truth of humans a secret!” Declared Lyra, her golden eyes trying to bore into Celestia.
“I have done no such thing.” Admitted Celestia. “Its just that as the popularity of the origins of ponies dwindled they fell out of circulation. The few remaining copies are in the preservation wing of the Cantorlot Royal library. You could have acquired a copy of anyone of them by submitting a request and paying the manufacturing fees which consist of a twenty percent mark on costs. Twenty-five on an illustration heavy volume.” Celestia quoted.
Lyra just stared there balking. “But, but…”
Celestia just smiled like a mother to a child who made an obvious mistake, “did you inquire with the library?”
Lyra looked down, her cheeks burning with embarrassment, “Um, actually… …” she mumbled too quietly.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite hear that,” Celestia stated kindly.
Taking a deep breath, Lyra steeled herself, “I said, I kinda thought you were conspiring to keep the information from the public and didn’t want to let you know that I knew the truth.” Her cheeks turned bright red again. “And, it never occurred to me that you would consider those books valuable and free, relatively speaking, to the public.”
“That’s okay, my little pony, we all get carried away at times,” Celestia continued to smile in that motherly way.
Whack! The hoof a tan earth-pony just smacked Lyra in the back of her head. Everyone turned to look at the mare with her cobalt blue and pink mane and tail as her arctic blue eyes narrowed at her target. “That’s for not listening to me. I told you there was no conspiracy.”
“Um, sorry Bonbon,” apologized Lyra.
Whack! “And that is for leaving me at the restaurant.”
“It good to see you again, agent Sweetie Drops,” Celestia greeted notices her three wrapped candy cutie mark.
Bonbon froze and gulped, “I’m think you have the wrong pony, your highness.”
“No, I am pretty sure… oh, this is about that whole plausible deniability thing, right?” Bonbon stiffened further. “That was Top Secret’s idea, Torchwood was an official agency of the government and it’s paperwork was done in triplicate. Well, duplicate after Top Secret burned the files. Red Tape and Busy Work were not happy getting it back in triplicate.”
Bonbon just face-hoofed, “you’ve got to be kidding me!”
“Wait what do you mean by origins of ponies?” Twilight asked in confusion. Stopping Bonbon’s rant about injustices and paranoid ponies.
“Well you see her old master, Happi, got his hands on a magic sword that granted him three wishes, any three wishes,” Luna began. “His third wish was that every human look like mother.” At her audience’s blank faces she elaborated, “the problem with that is that mother’s human name roughly means ‘Wild Horse’ and wishes tend to be quite literal to screw with their victims.” A smirk crossed her face, “it’s not just the jinn, even if they enjoy it just as much as the magic.”
“Wait but wouldn’t we all be earth ponies?” Rainbow Dash asked to the shock of most of the others.
“Well you see, her master was a stickler for challenges,” supplied Discord. “And, after witnessing how much ‘fun’ mother experienced at the hand of magic he used his first wish to bring forth as much magic and mythological beasts he could into the world.” Discord explained. “As for his second wish, it seemed to have been forgotten by history by the time we were growing up and mom never wanted to talk about it.”
“Wait, wait, wait!” Lyra exclaimed. “What are we talking about here?”
Everyone in the room blinked, and then blink again. They explained the letter and it’s contents to the light aquamarine unicorn.
“So if this is your,” she indicated the three immortals, “mother, then who’s the father?” Lyra asked as Twilight brimmed with curiosity.
Said immortals blinked, blinked again, stared at each other, looked back at their audience, then blinked again. Everyone was waiting with rapt attention. It started with a twitch, followed by a quiver of the lips. The spasms only got worse. They put forth a valiant effort but the battle was already a lost cause.
All at once they burst out laughing with Pinkie rolling on the floor laughing her tail off. Twilight had to rub her eyes to make sure that wasn’t literal. “Mother,” Celestia snorted and the young ones’ mouths hung agape, “with a male?” The siblings burst out laughing all over again.
“Ms. ‘laugh snort’ amongst ‘snort laugh’, herself?” Luna tried to get out, to another round of laughter. And, the confusion of those out of the loop.
“Did she ever… tell you about her… relationships, before?” Pinkie managed between giggles. Everyone paused at the silence, then the laughter began again. Luna and Celestia both banging their hooves trying to catch their breathes.
“Relationships? More like cautionary tales.” Snorted Luna.
“Like,” Pinkie added, “never chose food over friends?”
“Or, victory may be worse than defeat,” supplied Discord.
“And, beware fools baring bad poetry,” finished Celestia.
The rest blinked clearly out of the loop.
After the last round of laughter, curiosity burning Twilight tentatively began, “if there was no ‘father’, then another mother, perhaps?” Twilight was excited to know more about her mentor.
“Not quite,” replied Luna. As a grin broke on the other threes faces.
Confused even more Twilight couldn’t help herself, “how?”
Discord’s grin was down right predatory. “My dear little pony,” he began, “reproduction is magic.”
The sound of Twilight’s face fault echo throughout the castle.
“That was priceless,” agreed Pinkie.
“Will you be serious?” Twilight mumbled as she picked herself up.
“I think, I will handle this,” answered Celestia around a soft smirk.
“It started years ago, centuries before she became the first princess of the Crystal Empire.”
“Wait, what? How’d that happened?” sheiked Twilight, as Dash and Lyra picked their jaws off the floor.
“You see it began when mother defeated a demi-god and came in possession of two magical weapons and a barrel of water saturated in chaos magic.” Celestia sighed softly. “She’s always been like that, picking up stuff from her adventures.”
“Misadventures,” interrupted Luna.
Chuckling Celestia continued, “misadventures, and it only increased when she learned the hidden weapons technique. She kept the weapons to keep them from being misused by the demi-god’s people. As for the barrel, she kind of just added it to her growing collection of magical items.” Discord began blushing.
“Well some centuries later, far to the north and back when the three tribes were being driven off by the Windigos, mother declared that she could defeat them.” Those new to the story stared at her in slack jaw awe. “But no one would listen to a simple earth-pony claiming to be able to do what the mightiest of pegusi, or the most powerful of unicorns could not.
“As she was about to leave with the others, news came in about a village trapped in the ice and snow. The other ponies had abandoned them to their fate.” At her audience’s horrified disbelief, she stated, “it was not one of ponykind’s best moments. Mother, however,” a warm smile gracing her face, “charged to the rescue.”
“How many of you have heard the story of Fleet Foot the Lion?” Luna interrupted.
“The earth-pony and village idiot, who charged a storm only to survive by dumb luck and fate?” Rainbow asked.
The grimace of Discord, Celestia, Luna, and Pinkie told her she both got the right answer and the wrong one. “Yes,” Luna continued through gritted teeth, “that cautionary tale was loosely based on this story as a means to mock her in an attempt to lessen their shame for abandoning their fellow ponies.”
“The truth of it is,” Celestia continued, “the storm in question was the blizzard of the Windigos and a variation of the technique she used on the Griffons. She unleashed the technique in the valley outside of the village, and it feed upon the ice and cold of the Windigos which in turn feed on the negative feelings of the entire pony race. To say it was stronger than before would be a grave understatement.” Her face fell a little as if disappointed in the ponies of the past.
“The dragon unleashed defeated the Windigos which gave the fleeing ponies their reprieve, and saved the village. But, that same dragon powered by not one, but two separate races threatened to consume the village and the lives within.”
A warm smile crossed Celestia’s face. “So she did the only thing she could think of to save them. Something incredibly stupid and foolhardy. And, absolutely brave. She pulled the energies into herself.”
Twilight gasped in horror, “but, but… the level of magnitude would tear her apart.” Twilight paled, and whispered, “atom by atom.”
“A lesser pony would have been destroyed,” declared Celestia with pride before her face fell. “And, she was, as you said ‘atom by atom.’ It was not a quick procedure,” everyone gulped.
“The energies of the storm resonated with the water within her weapon-space and echoed off the weapons. They and the storm merged with her, the water becoming her horn, and the weapons her wings. But, even then there was still to much energy. The results,” a smile spread on Celestia’s face, “the village became the first crystal-ponies.”
“You should have seen the look on her face when she found out,” Discord interrupted.
Twilight tilted her head, “how would you know? I thought this had something to do with your birth?”
“Oh, that’s easy,” he said as he pulled a beautifully crafted painting out of nowhere. The alicorn’s face was set in a slack-jawed stupor with her eyes pin-picks and almost rolling up into her head.
“I thought she destroyed all of those,” Luna added.
“Oh, she did, he just kept painting them,” replied Discord with a smirk.
“Ahem,” coughed Celestia politely. “Back to the story. So she staggers into the village after literally being rebuilt to check on them. After a few misunderstandings…”
“If you can call them accusing her of cursing them and attacking the village in the first place, a misunderstanding,” Discord added.
“She always likes looking at that as a challenge. Facing unicorns, pegasi, and all those earth-ponies without hurting anyone, she had a lot of fun.” Chipped in Pinkie.
Twilight was aghast, “they didn’t… she didn’t?”
“Yep.” Beamed Pinkie.
“Side stepping the paranoia of ponies,” continued Celestia. “Because, they had been abandoned by their respective leaders and she was the only one to come to their aid, they made her their Princess much to mother’s protests. But what truly annoyed her…”
“You mean pissed her off and almost put her in a homicidal rage,” Luna corrected.
“Happened about a month or two after her coronation,” finished Celestia.
“Oh, and what could put somepony who could face down Windigos and angry mobs without breaking a sweat into such a state?” Lyra asked her curiosity overriding any worry about whose presence she was in.
As Celestia open her mouth, “she found out she was pregnant,” shouted Pinkie and Luna together. Celestia frowned at the two but smirked a moment later.
“But, wait… what? How?” several ponies voiced simultaneously.
“Well the artifacts were so ancient they refused to be completely consumed.” The audience was stunned. “And so, fifteen months later…”
“Um,” Twilight hesitated. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but, don’t you mean eleven months. That would be normal.”
“And what exactly, of everything you’ve recently learned about mother, has been normal?” asked Discord with a toothy grin.
“Point taken,” Twilight turned to Celestia nervously. “Sorry for interrupting.”
“Oh, it is most understandable. Mother would often complain about it when she thought we weren’t listening. Mainly worrying it would happen again.” Celestia shared a chuckle with Discord and Luna.
“So, fifteen months later she gives birth to triplets. A Draconequus, and two alicorns. The eldest Jusendo, the Prince of Madness, Kinjakan, the Princess of the Day, and Gekkaja, the Princess of the Night. Heirs to War n’ Peace, also known as War Party, Queen of Harmony.” The siblings were all smirking. “She always thought it was terribly ironic. She would bring harmony to everyone else but chaos would never leave her alone.”
“So who is Jusendo, Kinjakan, and Gekkaja?” asked a confused Lyra.
“They are the names of the artifacts, our birth names, and our oldest titles. Mother somehow knew where we had come from.” A fond smile cross their faces.
“So Discord is your elder brother?” Asked a curious Twilight.
“Which is why when we had killed mother, Discord became ruler of the empire and Equestria which had eventually decided that the living embodiment of the harmony of the three races should be their leader.”
Bonbon and Lyra blinked.
“Unfortunately, the guilt from killing mother got to him.” Luna added.
Lyra and Bonbon looked at each other.
“It was just so much easier to give into chaos. I mean mother was dead, the constant gone, the world didn’t make sense anyway.” Discord sighed.
“Wait, wait, wait! You,” Lyra pointed at Discord, “you,” Luna, “and, you,” Celestia, “KILLED YOUR OWN MOTHER!!!” Both Lyra and Bonbon looked shocked and appalled.
“We’ve already covered this,” stated an annoyed Twilight. “Can we please move on to something important?”
Everyone gasped. “I am most disappointed that you would dismiss murder as unimportant,” Celestia stated sadly.
“T’is a most shameful act,” stated Luna with a hint of anger.
“Have you no heart?” asked Discord seriously.
Twilight’s mouth hung agape. “But, but , but…” she stammered in defeat. Her hoof pointed at Pinkie, “she was laughing at it.”
Celestia sighed, “Pinkie was laughing at the good news that it was a misunderstanding, not dismissing the concerns of others so casually.”
“I would never treat something so serious like that. It would be like laughing at cupcakes!” Everyone looked at Pinkie in confusion at her statement.
“No, no, no! That was a misunderstanding about a training accident. But, for the longest time we had believed we had.” Answered Celestia
Bonbon and Lyra both let out a breath.
“I can’t wait to see what new technique she’ll teach me,” chirped Pinkie gleefully.
“She teaches you martial arts?” asked Luna, shock on her and her siblings faces.
“Well, yeah! She teaches anyone in the family who wants to learn. Me and Maud are her best students!” Beamed Pinkie Pie.
“Do you think she’ll take me on?” Asked Rainbow Dash hopefully.
“I don’t know, but I can…” Pinkie began.
Celestia’s face visibly paled, a feat in and of itself. “Wait! Pinkie, let me see that letter again.” As she reread it, horror etched itself on her face as her magic holding the offending piece of paper winked out. “Oh, no!” she breathed as her legs failed her.
“What is it sister?” A worried Luna beat everyone to asking.
“Mother thinks you’re my student,” she declared pointing at Twilight.
“But, I am, or I was, but still am… kinda,” Twilight stated confused.
Celestia’s siblings both shared a glance and then their looks mirror their sister’s. “Yes, in magic and general. But, she thinks you’re my student in martial arts.” Celestia sighed in defeat, “this is bad. Very, very bad.”
“Oh! Come on,” Spike began. “Twilight’s beaten Tirek and he had most of the magic in Equestria. Well, until he cheated, but she still had him beat. And, you said it yourself she had no magic, how bad could it be?”
Everyone cringed at that last statement.
“Spike, without magic, mother managed to sleigh, not defeat, but sleigh an immortal god who could regenerate instantly…” Celestia started, eye beginning to twitch.
“She had a magical weapon,” supplied Luna unenthusiastically.
“Do you really think that would have stopped her?” asked Celestia, panic in her vioce. “No, no, no she’s going to tear you apart…” she began mumbling, “this is bad,” as she started pacing.
“Alas, poor Twilight I knew you well,” said Luna in defeat.
“I got it!” Celestia exclaimed. “She can’t destroy you if she can’t find you, right? So, if I lock you up hidden away. No, that won’t work. Maybe, if I banish you to the far side of the planet?” Her horn aglow as a manic look entered her eyes. “No, no. I know I’ll banish you then hide you, but where? Oh, I know the sun, that’s it.” Her pacing picked up. “No, she’ll look there, it’s so obvious.”
“Yes, that’s what’s wrong with that plan,” stated Luna flatly. Celestia ignored her as she continued pacing.
“So… that’s where you get it from?” asked Rainbow of Twilight.
“Wait! What about Cadence,” Twilight stated ignore her friend and her mentor’s deteriorating mental health. “If your mother is the first princess of the Crystal Empire, then wouldn’t she be…”
Luna quickly put her hoof over Twilight’s muzzle, “don’t even finish that thought!” She quickly looked around before releasing Twilight. “Mother’s already going to destroy you, there might not be anything left if you ruin it after she finally found a way out. Celestia why didn‘t we think of that?”
“Too, busy running the country to find a way free,” Celestia absently answered in the middle of her ramblings.
The affect this one pony was having on the semi all powerful cosmic beings in the room was a little disturbing.
Putting that aside Twilight turned to Luna, “um, so how did she make the Crystal Heart?”
Discord started laughing with great mirth, soon Luna was joining him. “Actually that was the first wme she made. She got the idea from a movie she saw a long, long time ago in a place far, far away.” A smirk spread to his muzzle, “she liked to call it a Kyber crystal.”
“What the hay is a Kyber crystal?” asked a curious Rainbow Dash before Twilight and Bonbon could voice their own curiosity.
“It is a crystal that uses ki or life energy to…” Discord began.
“It’s blood magic,” Twilight shouted looking quite sick. “And, we used it in against Sombra!” A shiver ran through her body before she whimpered, “All those crystal ponies.”
“You misunderstand, young Twilight,” said Luna with the weight of experience. “Ki is all around us, it is as ambient as magic is. Most who wish to use it do not put forth the proper effort. They seek shortcuts and use the blood as a catalysis. And as you may know, shortcuts come with a great prize, but an even larger price.” Her smile turned sad, “mother sometimes used shortcuts.” As Twilight was about to voice her concerns, Luna continued, “they were usually not her choice and only carried great personal risk to her.”
“Anyway, back to less severe topics,” Discord interjected. “As a Ki master, especially one who learned from emotional ki, which has it’s own dangers, mother with the help of an earth-pony stone framer managed to fuse the emotional life energy from love into a crystal.”
“Someponies thought the Tree of Harmony was a more advanced version of the Crystal Heart,” Luna pointed out.
“Well she kept disappearing for weeks at a time for several years, before announcing her big discovery.” Discord pointed out.
“Wait, wait, wait!” Rainbow Dash interjected. “By ki do you mean that mumbo jumbo stuff my sensei is always going on about?”
“One of these days I am going to find out why ponies can so easily believe in the extraordinary wonders of magic, but question the mere existence of ki.” Stated Celestia in exasperation.
“You seem better,” pointed out Luna.
“Yes I realized there is nothing I can do. Mother will do what mother does, Twilight will survive, mostly intact…” Twilight’s eye twitched as Spike put a sympathetic claw on her shoulder. “… and be better off for it. Mother will then give a tongue lashing to me for slacking as her instructor, I will explain that I was not teaching her martial arts, and mother will apologize for the misunderstanding.”
Silence met her statement and Twilight hung her head in defeat.
“By the way Lyra, how did you know we were talking about humans?” Twilight inquired curiously, head snapping up.
“Oh that’s easy, Pinkie Pie pinkie promised me to tell me whenever anypony talked about them in Ponyville.” Stated Lyra matter-of-factly.
“But, but, but she was here the whole time?” Twilight complained, the stress of the day getting to her.
“So? She’s Pinkie.” Lyra stated as means of explanation.
In the Ponyville dojo a short distance from the castle. An earth-pony mare with a sleek black coat and mane of fire red closed her eyes and took a deep breath in through her nose. “Ah! A proper dojo. Its has been too long.” The pony exclaimed as a smile grazed her muzzle.
Opening her eyes to reveal crystal blue orbs which locked onto a brown coated stallion wearing a simple light-brown button-up shirt. “Sensei!” The mare said bowing her head in respect as she approached the pony, her eyes remaining locked on to his imperceptibly open eyes.
“While this is our first meeting, I believe I should be addressing you as master.” The stallion stated as he bowed in respect and a smile crossing his own muzzle. “So what can an old stallion do for a lovely master such as yourself?”
“Sensei, I would be honored if you would allow me the opportunity to test your students.” An intrigued smile crossed his face. “I am also looking for somepony, she is most likely one of your more advanced students or perhaps a teaching instructor. Her name is Twilight Sparkle?”
“But Aloe and Lotus usually charge five…” started Bonbon.
Lyra walked up to her friend, lifted a foreleg, and staged whispered, “you know that’s an old melody, right?”
Bonbon’s burning blush was her only answer.
“I wonder who could be knocking, this time?” Rainbow asked, awkwardly trying to change the subject.
“Well it’s coming from the back door,” stated Spike.
“I wonder if it’s the new book delivery, though they’re a bit early,” Twilight sighed. “And, I told them they could use the front door.” The dragon assistant having left to answer the door and the ponies having turned to the sound missed Celestia’s eyes widening, Luna and Discord’s smirk, and Pinkie with a cat who caught the canary smile.
Then Pinkie coughed and out flew the canary. It seemed mildly irritated and completely confused.
The gathered looked at the bird, then Pinkie, then the bird again, before settling on Pinkie. “What they get it!” exclaimed the pink party pony.
“Um, Pinkie you know you’re point at a wall, right?” asked Twilight tentatively. “I mean, it’s a nice wall and everything. Not to mention, I don’t think I really noticed that one in particular compared to the other three.” She began rubbing her chin in thought. “Was that a sweat drop?”
“Twilight, it’s just a wall” exclaimed Rainbow Dash with exasperation.
Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, “You’re right.” Under her breath she added, “don’t let Pinkie get to you.”
Bonbon turns sharply to Lyra, “did that wall just sigh?” she whispers.
“It’s just Pinkie being Pinkie, don’t over think it,” Lyra says in dead seriousness.
“Right!”
“Does Fluttershy know you’re using her friends for your jokes, again?” Rainbow Dash asked pointedly at Pinkie.
“I told her I would use them in improv and she made me Pinkie Promise they wouldn’t get hurt.”
“But you had one in your mouth?” questioned Rainbow Dash.
“Yes, but besides being slightly confused and disorientated she is no worst for wear, right?” She stared her friend straight in the eye. “No one brakes a Pinkie Promise, NO ONE!”
Before Rainbow Dash could respond Spike returned in huff, gasping for air and carrying a letter, “Rainbow… there’s a pony… looking for you, says… this is a matter of life… and death,” he wheezed as he held up the letter.
In a prismatic flash the letter was in her feather tips, seal broken, and eyes flying across the page. As Twilight lifted a hoof toward her friend, and before anyone could get a word out Rainbow was off like a shot. With her eyes a flame with rage and determination, she screamed and barreled down the corridors leaving a rainbow streak.
Tentatively Twilight lifted the scroll in her magic, and noticed the den-den daiko seal , symbol of the Ponyville dojo and its Sensei’s cutie mark. She quickly scanned its contents. Her face paled.
“Student Dash,
The possessor of this note is a Dojo Destroyer well beyond your abilities. She has just brutally and mercilessly defeated all of your peers and kohais . And, as such she has decimated the honor of our school. As the last remaining student, she has come for you and (possibly) your little turtle, too. Please avenge the fallen.
You Sensei, Wax Pattern”
As she finished reading the short note, they all heard a cry of anguish. Followed by cursing that would be the envy of any navy. Luckily Pinkie had covered Spike’s ears, exclaiming she hadn’t had a combo like that in years. In an instant there was a flash, the world bent and twisted in unnatural ways, and the group was standing outside the back door of the castle staring in the open doorway.
Pinkie loved teleporting, jumping in and out of the void, blinking out of and into existing was such a rush, but sadly most people ignored it. But, absolutely nothing compared to the way her Nana taught her, it was like riding a sonic rainboom. “I wonder which Dashie will prefer?” she asked no one in particular.
No one except Luna heard what she said, because just inside the door was Rainbow Dash, Element of Loyalty, hero of the realm, and tenth degree black-belt, was splayed on the floor fiercely trying to get leverage as an earth-pony mare effortlessly held her down. “You need to work on defense a bit, young one,” stated the strange mare disappointingly.
And then BAM…
A few minutes earlier…
As the obsidian coated mare deftly lowered her left fore-hoof, she turned to the Dojo’s master. “Did you get all that?”
The stallion’s wrinkled muzzle contorted slightly into a smirk, “your observations were truly insightful and I will remember them for my students. Especially the ones lacking consciousness.” The stallion started chuckling.
“Sorry about that,” the mare stated as she rubbed the back of her head through her fiery mane. “Some of your students are quite stubborn,” a fond smile gracing her lips. “But, that’s not necessarily a bad thing.”
“Quite, it may be what they need to push through to the next level.”
“So, you said, your top student isn’t here?” the mare prompted. “Do you know where she is, and if you wouldn’t mind could you write a letter of introduction?”
“Would it be safe to say you want her to go all out?” A smile forming on his old face.
“That would be appreciated.” A smile taking form on her own lips.
“I have just the idea,” his smile took on a wicked tone…
A few minutes later, as the mare waited by the back door of the castle…
Off in the distance a cry of femininity fury was heard. “Not another angry mare,” she sighed as her crimson hair fell over face…
“That was disappointingly short,” the earth-pony said to the pegasus she was holding under-hoof. “You need to work on defense a bit, young one.”
BAM!
The mare slowly lifted her gaze from the pony she had pinned. As she looked toward the source of the blast that nearly took her head off, she realigned said head so it was in front of the new hole in the wall behind her, and right where it’d been a few seconds earlier.
“Twilight Sparkle, I presume?” The predatory smile on her face would have a hydra running for the hills.
The next volley of three similar blast was the only reply the obsidian mare received. There was a light-blue glow from her hoof as she tapped the pegasus lightly in the back. She then effortlessly avoided all three blast by mere inches. The strange mare vanishes and something screams at Twilight to put up a shield. Just as the pink bubble of magic finished forming a ripple raced across it surface and cracks splintered out from were the mares hoof impacted it.
Stunned by the share force of the strike, Twilight teleported to a different part of the rear entrance room and fired blasts at the pony still supported by her shield from another angle. When the mare disappeared again, Twilight teleport and fired upon her previous location. The earth-pony somehow managed to veer in midair dodging the blast by the minimum amount.
The stranger called out, “I know tomboys who are faster and have a stronger punch.” At Rainbow’s triumphant smirk, she added, “I wasn’t talking about you skittles.”
Rainbow Dash just snared. While this interplay was going on Twilight tried to get a hit in. “Of coarse, she’d dodge. Why is it never that easy?” Twilight thought as her blast left another hole in her castle.
As the fight went on with Twilight teleporting, blasting, or shield, she began to realize this other pony was testing her. Especially, with comments like, “good defense,” or “okay speed,” and other similar ones. Her excitement at taking a test was stunted by the fact that whatever this ‘mare’ did to Rainbow, her friend still hasn’t moved.
The scary part was that a few of the times she teleported the mare was right behind her before she even noticed. Almost as if…
“No, that’s impossible,” Twilight chanced a quick looked at Luna. “But, she can enter dreams if it were refined…”
“Are you reading my mind?” Twilight asked tentatively.
“Not your mind but your body.”
“Pervert!!!” Twilight shrieked as she blasted a whole wall out of existence.
Celestia face-hoofed, Luna shook her head, Discord was grinning like a foal on Hearth Warming, and Pinkie said what they all were thinking. “So will they kiss now?”
Twilight’s attacks increased in ferocity, as she exploded in rage and fire. She became focused solely on the destruction of this monster.
“Oh, come on! It took me all day to get her to go super saiyan,” exclaimed Pinkie in exasperation. The others just stared at her.
“You’re starting to become predictable. That’s the worst thing for a practitioner of ‘Anything Goes,’ very disappointing.” The mare seemed to ignore the spontaneous combustion of her opponent.
“Disappointing, disappointing, DISAPPOINTING!” The careless comment seemed to have snapped Twilight out of her rage as her inferno died and she began an internal rant. “I’m predictable, me, you’re the one that’s clearly using the most obvious pattern in the world. See, I blast here, you dodge there, I teleport there, you come at me here.” There was a reverberation off her shield. “If I were to fire there, have it reflect off there, teleport there, then there, and you’ll be blasted from here to the moon and ba…” A devilish smirk almost graced her face before she schooled her features, not wanting to give anything away.
She put her plan into action. And as she teleported, knowing her adversary would move into checkmate, she couldn’t help but add a snide remark, “Ha, who’s predicta…” She was interrupted by her face erupting in pain, a moment later her back and wings made the same protest.
“Well I would say it’s obvious, but I don’t think you can hear my answer,” the mare stated to the unconscious alicorn.
As the new comer was turning to face her audience, a navy blue streak slammed into and knocked her to the ground. “Is it you, is it really you?” The mare looked up as Luna held her tightly as if the being before her would disappear if she let go. As cerulean eyes stared into crystal blue eyes, they pooled with unshed tears and Luna opened her mouth to, “YOUCH!!!”
The navy blue alicorn glared death at the eagle claw currently pinching her ear. “Just making sure you weren’t projecting a dream, sis,” said the draconequus as his eagle claw let go and franticly start make gesture of betrayal to its owner.
The giggling from below drew the duo’s attention to the mare, who looked at them fondly. “I’m glad you two still get along so well.” A small smile gracing her muzzle.
“We do not!” The alicorn and draconequus exclaimed together, then blinked, looked at each other, and joined the mare in laughter as Discord lifted the both of them in a hug.
The mare burying her face in Luna’s barrel whispered, “can you ever forgive me?”
The alicorn pulled away and looked into the eyes of the mare in her hooves as a smile graced her face, “I thought the situation kind of explained itself.”
“There is a difference between loving someone and forgiving them,” said the mare in a small voice.
“You’re thinking of a certain panda,” the alicorn tilted her head in curiosity.
“It’s has been centuries, millennia even, I’ve forgiven him for everything except the Neko-,” the mare fell silent as the alicorn’s eyes formed into slits, and Discord tightened his grip on reflex. Lower her head the mare continued in an even smaller voice, “I’m sorry…”
“Now, now if it wasn’t for that I would never have found out that I could dream-walk,” soothed the alicorn as the mare returned her gaze to her eyes which had regain their usual irises.
“It’s unusual for a child to climb into their parents’ bed,” the siblings gave the mare a dubious look, “at least, it’s unusual for the child to do so to help the parent with a nightmare.” The three shared a laugh. Noticing something or more accurately someone missing the mare asks, “where’s your sister?”
“Why she’s, um…” Luna began looking as Discord continued to hold the two. “She was with us when we arrived, right?” She asked her brother, who nodded. They turned out the door to the point they had entered.
Standing there almost motionlessly, her head down as her flowing locks draped and hid her face was Celestia. Worry crossed the faces of the trio and Discord release the other two.
As the mare slowly approached, the alicorn started to speak, her voice low, “why?” Sniff, “why? Why did you abandon me-us?” Her voice was strained as she glared at the mare with tear filled eyes. “Didi needed you, lulu needed you, I needed you,” she screamed as the tears final fell free. “Did I not matter?” as the whispered question came, gone was the age old ruler, gone was the mare forged on the anvil of duty with the hammer of responsibility, and in her place the little filly who only wanted her mother’s approval stood.
In an instant the alicorn was impossibly engulfed in hug by the mare. “You, all of you, are and will always matter to me,” the mare answered in a soothing, motherly tone.
As her siblings reached to offer their comfort, her question stopped them dead, “then, where were you?”
Pinkie froze half-way, in mid-air, between where she had been and Celestia. The mare began chuckling nervously as she rubbed the back of her head, “I kinda made a small mistake.”
The incredulity from the half lidded stares from the siblings was thick enough to cut with a knife. Which is why, Pinkie was spreading it on a piece of toast. She offered a slice to Discord.
“Well,” the mare hastily continued. “I forgot that Happi needed a bit of um… luck to escape,” she finished sheepishly. The resulting face-hoof was heard throughout Ponyville.
Lyra, Bonbon, and Spike looked on confused and Spike asked, “so what’s the big deal?”
“Luck and her,” Luna began while pointing at the mare, “are like oil and water?”
“More like Napalm and water,” corrected Discord. “And the rest of us are all juggling torches.”
“The problem,” the mare said clearing her throat, “is that he escaped by an earthquake clearing the cave, after a bolt of lightening struck and destroyed the seal.” She started laughing nervously, again. “And, what is the chance of a random bolt of lightening with pegasi controlling the weather, or an earthquake with the mere presence of earth ponies stabilizing the ground beneath their hooves?” She sighed. “No, I had to get out on my own, took me nearly thirty years. By that time, you had already taken over and I’d been dead for over a decade.” A proud smile graced her muzzle.
“I decided to go on a little vacation, go adventuring, take in the sights, and show those young warriors a thing or two. I figured two centuries would be long enough for you to come into your own, then I’d come back, apologies, and we’d have a huge celebration.” Her face fell and her entire demeanor deflated.
“While I was dealing with this cult of sun stealing minotaurs, who found the location of the sword of Amaterasu, the sun and moon started dancing erratically in the sky. Me and my party, a zebra who only talked in puns, and this archeologist/teacher pegasus with a serious fear of snakes, I think one of her grand kids writes books or something, were a few months out from Equestria when the sun and moon started doing the tango in the sky.”
She looked at Discord with unspeakable sorrow, “by the time we returned I had already failed you.” She set that gaze upon Celestia and Luna, “and, I couldn’t face either of you anymore.”
This time all three siblings tackled the mare in huge hug, with Pinkie belly-flopping on top, no one tried to explain where the splash came from.
“Wait, wait, wait!” exclaimed Spike. “Back it up a bit, sun stealing minotaurs, why would they try stealing the sun?”
“Most minotaurs are a bit pigheaded, a trait they get from Akari instead of Ryoga, which funny because…,” she trailed off realizing she was getting off topic. “Anyways they thought these three,” she indicated the immortals, “had offed me to seize power, and completely underestimated Jun here,” she singled out Discord. “With him being the only Draconequus, they thought him to be powerful in title alone,” a smirk crossed her muzzle, one shared by the ones in the know. “So they tried to create a rift between Kin and Gen hoping they’d kill each other or at least weaken the other. Leaving only Jun, who they could take out ‘easily.’”
“Um, so why did you attack the princess?” asked Lyra nervously.
“Wait, she’s a princess?” the mare said pointing a hoof at Rainbow Dash. Rainbow’s pupils shrunk to pinpricks as she saw one of her worst frou-frou nightmares become reality.
“I think Lyra meant, that one,” Spike pointed out as he indicated the unconscious alicorn. The three siblings silence went unnoticed.
“Well, I didn’t really attack Blasty there,” clarified the mare.
“But…” Spike began to protest.
“Okay I attack her shields, but those were probing attacks,” stated the mare.
“But, she’s unconscious, and bang up, and a little singed,” Spike defended.
“All her own doing, mostly,” the mare chuckled nervously. “I led her into a trap using the most obvious pattern, without being overtly obvious. Then, when she entered the last stage of her final a attack I nudged her teleport a little.”
“How’d you do that?” Spike, Lyra, and Bonbon asked at the same time.
“I used my ki to create chi harmonics which affect her inner ears, throwing off her spatial awareness.” The mare explained as her audiences’ jaws dropped. “The trick is figuring out how to realign it.”
“But what was this all about, you said it was a matter of life and death?” Spike demanded.
“Martial Arts is always a matter of life and death,” state the mare solemnly. “That letter I had you deliver was a letter of introduction. With her sensei’s permission I was gonna test her skills in a spar. But she was a bit too emotional to concentrate.”
“Ugh! I should have known,” Rainbow Dash exclaimed as she dragged her hoofs over her face. “Hey, I can move, again!”
“Yeah, that technique I used on you was kinda of a ki hogtie,” the mare looked sheepish. “The more you struggled the tighter it held you,” she explained. “It’s actually really good for testing a student’s control over their body and use of ki.”
“What? Why?” asked a confused but curious Rainbow.
“Because, with ki and body control it can be easily overcome,” stated Pinkie, Celestia, Luna, and Discord together.
“Hey that’s my line!” the mare’s exclamation only enticed a smile from the four. “Speaking of which, your student is kind of lacking in the Marital skills,” Celestia eyes shrunk to pinpricks.
Celestia cleared her throat, “well you see,” she coughed into her fore-hoof. “The thing is,” Celestia pulled on her regalia, “is it hot in here?”
“Celestia.”
Celestia gulped, when she uses that name it doesn’t bode well. “It’s not as bad as it seems,” Celestia was sweating bullets.
“Enlighten me!”
“She is a studious, and energetic student.” Celestia stated with some confidence. “It’s just that I hadn’t given her any lessons in the Defensive Arts.”
“Come again?” The mare’s eyes narrowed.
“I have taught her in magic, friendship, and life in general which resulted in her ascension,” Celestia’s voice lased with pride.
“So,” the ice chill of the mare’s voice sending a shiver down everyone’s spines. “Let me get this straight,” everyone gulped. “You sent an untrained, unprepared, and practically defenseless student and her six intrepid friends against not one, but at least two masters of ‘Anything Goes’?” she growled.
“Hey,” defended Rainbow Dash.
“Um, six?” asked Bonbon. The mare pointed at Spike without breaking her glare at Celestia.
“Why’s that bad?” Spike asked. “We won, didn’t we?”
“Because, if her siblings hadn’t been playing with you lot, you’d be resting in your final plots.”
“Hey!” was Rainbow’s defiant exclamation, as Spike and Pinkie paled a little. A sweat drop forming on Celestia’s brow.
“Don’t give me that. Two kami class beings, both of which recognize you as threats, don’t immediately vaporize you on sight?” the mare’s focus hardening on the profusely sweating Celestia. “They both love attention,” the two in question blushed, “and nothing brings more attention than the heroes plight against the villain. As the old saying goes ‘a hero’s a hero, but everyone loves a great villain’.”
Everyone else turned to Celestia their eyes’ begging her to tell them the mare was wrong. Her silence not boding well. The fallowing rant would be spoken of in whispers by drill sergeants for centuries to come. Those present were in awe at the heated ferocity behind the words, as the cold calm in which they were delivered froze them to the spot.
Almost everyone one was in awe. As a certain purple mare was coming out of a self induced coma, her addled mind noticing the storm, at the eye of which her mentor was being torn apart by that monster. She would not stand for this.
“What the hay is going on here?” Demanded Twilight.
“Um…, Twilight,” Lyra began. Twilight ignored.
“First you barge into my home,” Twilight accused.
“Actually, I invited her in after she gave me the letter,” Spike stated. Twilight ignored.
“Then you attacked my friend,” Twilight accused.
“That was kinda my sensei’s fault and I threw the first punch,” Rainbow admitted. Twilight ignored.
“Now you’re disrespecting the princess,” Twilight accused.
“This is a misunderstanding and I deserve what has been said,” Celestia announced. Twilight ignored.
“Who in Tartarus do you think you are?” Twilight demanded.
“Who in Tartarus do you think you are?” Twilight demanded.
“Why Twilight dear, I’m surprised you don’t recognize me,” stated the mare calmly as she turned to her.
“Recognize you? How the bu…” Twilight trailed off as the earth pony mare pulled on her obsidian muzzle causing it to stretch. A light-blue line ringing her neck appeared. As the muzzle stretched, the blue raced up the neck.
“No, no, no… please anything but this,” Twilight pleaded, as navy blue hair bloomed from under the mare’s mask as it rounded the scalp. The obsidian mare’s mask passing the muzzle revealed a unicorn stallion’s face. As his golden irises locked onto Twilight he said…
“I am your father!”
“Oh, come on, that’s so cliché!” Twilight shouted. “I mean that’s been done like a billion times!”
“Um, Twilight, you’re kind of breaking character,” Pinkie pointed out.
“I don’t care, this is so lame. It’s barely worth a laugh,” Twilight stated in exasperation. “I’m tired of these two bit jigs.”
“But,” Pinkie’s lip began to quiver, “Breaking the fourth wall is my shtick.” Her eyes began tearing up.
Twilight immediately ran over and hugged her friend, “It’s okay, it’s okay! I’ll get back in character, okay?” She pleaded. “It’s an omake chapter anyway.”
“It is?”
“Yes, yes it is.”
“Then you know what we have to say next, right?” Pinkie’s smile began returning.
“Fine,” Twilight said in defeat.
“Same action time, Same action place,” everyone chorused.