A newcomer to Ponyville gives some of its residents first-hoof experience with the multiverse theory.
Ripped from his own dimension, Verdant Spark must enlist the aid of Ponyville's resident princess and a certain Time Lord in order to find a way to get home.
I woke up, surrounded by trees. Trees? Was I hiking? I couldn't remember. I rubbed my head with my... hooves? "What? Why do I have hooves?" I asked the offending appendages. Then I noticed my coat. It seemed I was now two shades of emerald green, lighter on the body, with my mane and tail the darker color of larger jewels. "Ok." I said, recovering. Well, as much as you can recover while still conversing with the grass in a forest clearing. "So I'm a pony now. Somehow, I've been turned into a green pony. Who can talk. How do I get home?" I looked around, hoping that no wolves or bears had noticed the new pony, but saw but saw nothing that pointed me in the direction of my town. Then I looked up, and what I saw cleared up a lot of questions. Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle. It had to be them. A blue Pegasus with a seven colored mane and a purple alicorn. It could be no one else. Oh, I thought, I'm in Equestria. The pony thing makes a lot more sense now. I was going to need their help, but they were flying away. I didn't dare shout for them now that I was probably in the Everfree Forest. Which meant I only had one option. "Rainbow Dash, I need your help." I called, hopefully loud enough that she would hear, but not loud to attract the attention of a hydra. It worked! Rainbow Dash stopped short, looking around for the source of the plea. Twilight noticed her flying buddy wasn't beside her and turned in time to see Rainbow Dash spot me. An eye-blink later, Dash was hovering in front of me. It was a few moments before Twilight joined us. "Well' you don't look like you're in any trouble." Rainbow Dash folded her forelegs across her chest. "Mind telling us why you said you needed my help?" Her question was half accusation, half excitement. Maybe this new pony would have something cool to do. I did, but not for her. "Sorry, Rainbow Dash. I'm afraid I just used you. Kind of. I had to get Twilight's attention somehow, and I remembered your little trick of cataloging everything while you fly. Luckily for me, it worked." "Wait a minute." Twilight held up a hoof. "How did you know our names?" Now the trickiest part. "This may seem like a weird question, but what was the last major threat to Equestria?" "Uh, Tirek?" Rainbow Dash replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Remember? Big guy, went around stealing everypony's magic?" "And the Sirens?" I asked. Twilight's brow furrowed. "At Canterlot High? How did you know about that? And you still haven't told us how you knew our names." "Ok." I began, glad I hadn't revealed anything about their futures. "Your trip through the portal will help make this a little more believable." I sat down, trying to gather my thoughts so I sounded as sane as possible. "My name is Verdant Spark. Wait- no it's not. Why'd I say that? Why can't I remember my name? It was something like Greg, or Rob... maybe it started with an M?" Rainbow Dash shot Twilight a look. "This guy seems a little loopy..." So much for not sounding crazy. "You know what, forget it. It's not important right now. Anyway. I'm not a pony." Dash flitted a little, pointing. "Yeah, you are. You've got a horn..." A horn? Oh, now I feel it. Must have missed it when I was freaking out over my hooves. I'm a unicorn, that's pretty cool. "...And a cutie mark." So I did... one of a hand holding a sword. That was strangely ominous, though I couldn't figure out what it was supposed to represent. How could that be my special talent? "Well, yeah, I am now." I retorted. "But I'm not supposed to be. I'm human." Twilight lit up at that. "Oh! Do you go to Canterlot High?" I sucked my teeth. "No. I'm... I'm from an alternate reality than Canterlot High. My humans are kind of different. I need your help to get back." "Wait, wait, wait." Rainbow Dash said, scratching her head. "What's that mean? Alternate realities?" "You know that the portal connects to another world." Twilight reminded her friend. "Well there's a theory that there could be an infinite number of alternate worlds, all slightly different from the others." "Interesting." I muttered. "The same theory developed independently in two different realities." Rainbow Dash frowned. "All right, I get that. But if we assume the crazy guy isn't actually crazy, then what? How can we help?" "We, as in me and Twilight." I broke it to her as gently as I could. "Not we, as in including you." "What?!" I shook my head. "Sorry, Rainbow Dash. We're going to be messing with the walls of reality. High theoretical physics, probably some sort of magic as well. I'm not counting on needing your speed, and the idea that there's more than one world is going to be one of the simpler concepts. It's a bad joke, but you'd only slow us down." "But-" I'm sorry." I cut her off. "If it helps, I know that you can break the laws of physics as we understand them where I come from. If I turn out bad, you can get to Twilight in seconds." At that, she lowered herself to eye level. "Yes." She growled. "Yes, I can." She shot off. I watched her for all the second and a half it took for Dash to leave my field of vision, then turned to Twilight. "You have good friends. I know you know how special that is." "I do." She replied, all-business mode activating. "Now, I have one more question. How you answer will detirmine whether or not I help you." "Shoot." She pointed to my cutie mark. "What is that?" I looked at it. "That? That's a hand. See, in my real body I-" "I know what a hand is!" Twilight snapped. "Right, the portal." Twilight glared. "I meant, why is the hand holding a sword?" It was my turn to frown. "I... I don't know." "You don't know? Really?" Incredulity dripped from her every word. "I don't know. Since I woke up, just before you flew over, I've been discovering... gaps, in my memory. Like with my name. I..." I trailed off. Twilight considered me for a few moments. "I don't know if you're telling the truth." She finally said. "But... I don't think you're lying to me. At worst you're just crazy." I smiled. "So you'll help?" "Yes." "Great!" I started walking, with Twilight following a step behind. "So how do you suggest we begin?" She asked. "Well," I began, "I told you I'm from a different reality." "You did." My smile turned into a grin. "In my reality you, your friends, all of Equestria, it's a show. That's how I know so much about you." Twilight sped up to match me. "Ok, that's... understandable. How does that help us, though?" "It doesn't, not really." I said. "But I figure if this reality is one where that show is actually life, then maybe some of the fan interpretations are here, too. And if that's true..." "What?" "Then there's someone in Ponyville who can help us. Someone who may be more familiar with this stuff than even you." Twilight scoffed. "I doubt it. I would know if there were any other scientists in town." I laughed. I couldn't help it. "Well, he's not really a scientist. More of a Doctor." Twilight couldn't understand why I was unable to stop laughing.
Unfortunately, I had started walking in the wrong direction. Luckily, Twilight noticed and guided us back to the right track. We managed to get to Ponyville fairly quickly following her path. "Now, we're looking for an earth pony." I said as we arrived. "An earth pony? In Ponyville?" Twilight snarked. "That should be pretty easy, considering how few there are in town." "Ha. Ha. Ha." I deadpanned. "Very funny." "What color is he?" "A light brown," I supplied, "with an hourglass for a cutie mark." Twilight gave me a look. "Time Turner? The pony who maintains the clock tower?" "Maybe." I said, going for thoughtful. "Maybe something more. Hopefully something more." "Well, you can ask him." Twilight pointed. "He's right over there." Wow, that was convenient. As convenient as waking up just as an alicorn princess flies overhead. But, super coincidental convenience aside, this was good. I walked over to him. "So," I asked, "what color is your police box?" The Doctor may lie, but this version's face wasn't very good at hiding it. "I'm, uh, sure I don't know what you mean. Excuse me." He tried to trot off, but Twilight teleported in front of him, blocking his escape. I thew a foreleg around his shoulders. "Come on! Just show us your sonic." "Really, I'm very busy. If you will-" A shout cut him off. "Doctor! Tick Tock says it'll be a while before... oh." Derpy stopped as she noticed Twilight and I. "Yeah, the cat's kinda out of the bag now." I gloated. "I'm sorry, Doctor. I didn't mean to-" "It's fine, Derpy." He reassured his companion. "They somehow knew who I was already." "Yes, I did. I need your help, Doctor." His eyes lit up. Annoyance over being discovered or no, he couldn't help himself when it came to distress. "With what?" He asked. I shook my head. "Not here. It's too... overhear-able." The Doctor nodded, and broke into something close to a canter. He really did love this. "Come along, then. We'll talk in my Tardis."
"What?" The Doctor was close to panic. "Where is it?" 'It' was the Tardis, as we were now standing in an empty field. The Doctor turned to Derpy. "This is where we parked, isn't it?" "I think so..." Derpy walked around, getting her bearings. "It certainly looks familiar." Twilight looked around. "So, this 'Tardis' is missing?" I frowned again. "Awww... I wanted to show Twilight how big it was on the inside." That got a smirk from the princess. "I'm sure that has to be a metaphor for something." "Save it for Brad." I teased, hoping she would take what I said for what it was. Luckily, she did. "Maybe I will." The Doctor was not amused. "If you're quite finished." "We are." "Because the single most advanced piece of technology on this planet, possibly the universe, is missing. Probably stolen!" "Relax." I said. "Nothing can break into it. I doubt whoever took it will even be able to chip the paint." He stared at me. "Was it you?" I put a hoof over my heart, wounded. "Me? I just got here." Derpy stood beside the Doctor. "Doctor, I'm sure if someone stole the Tardis, the last thing they'd do is come get you." "You make a good point." He said, calming a bit. Now was the time to throw gas on the fire. "About that, there's a chance I may be tangentially involved in the Tardis' disappearance." "Doctor..." Derpy started. "Explain." He whispered. "Right now." Twilight interceded. "Only tangentially. He just got here, he can't have actively participated. Or do you also suspect the Princess of Friendship?" The Doctor whirled on her. "We just got here. He could've stolen it and then come to you." My turn. "She means I just got here. As in, to Equestria." Derpy cocked her head to the side. "That's weird. There aren't too many pony colonies outside Equestria." "I'm not from a colony. I am not of this world." The levity was not appreciated. "You seem to know a lot about me, so you should realize that this is not the best time for alien jokes." I sighed. "Alright, alright. You clearly don't like it when someone else is being cryptic and smug. So I'll be straight with you. I'm human." "Human? Here?" I nodded. "Yep, and I didn't come through Twilight's portal." "Twilight, you have a portal to another world?" "Kind of, Ditzy." "Oh, it's ok. You can call me Derpy." She smiled. "I get the feeling we're going to be running for our lives in a little while. Running buddies get to call me Derpy." Twilight returned her smile. "Ok, Derpy. Anyway, the portal was already there. I just built a machine to stabilize it." "That's amazing!" "Hang on." The Doctor said. "Putting aside the fact that apparently there's a portal back to Earth-" "Not your Earth." I interrupted. "Not mine either, a different one." "You've been ripped from your dimension and plopped in this one. How?" I shrugged. "That's what we need your help figuring out. Odds are, we find out what pulled me here, we find the Tardis." Derpy joined in. "Wait a minute, Doctor. He was pulled here from another world. Do you think that Jabberwock thing is involved?" The Doctor rubbed his chin. "Maybe. But if it were, I'd suspect those cats would've shown up by now." "I have to agree with the Doctor." I said. "Annoying as they are, Carrot's cats are usually on top of things." That stopped both of them in their tracks, metaphorically. "I should have mentioned that." Twilight supplied. "In Verdant Spark's reality, all of this is a show of some kind." "Gotta love the multiverse." The Doctor muttered. "At least one of everything. So you know about our pasts." "Only some things." I assured. "And only if you are, in fact, the characters depicted in the show and fan works." "Oh, and which am I?" The Doctor asked, excited. "Show material?" I smiled. "Sorry, you and Derpy are background characters in the show. The fans crossed your character with one from a different show, and voila." "Well, that's disappointing." "Ahem." I focused. "Alright, Twilight, you're right. It's time to be serious, and seriously there's one place that's the obvious place to start looking." "Oh, you're right!" The Doctor agreed. "Where?" Derpy asked. Twilight had come to the same conclusion. "The Everfree Forest."
"So why the Everfree?" Derpy asked. "Aside from the fact that it's really creepy." I couldn't help but agree as we trudged through the forest. "There have been a significant number of events that occurred here, in the forest." The Doctor reminded his companion. "Events of huge physical and metaphysical importance. The emergence of the Rainbow Power, Discord's vines attacking the Tree of Harmony, even our own first adventure together during the Nightmare Moon incident." "I'd say that was more Twilight's adventure than yours." The Doctor ignored me. "These woods are a confluence of magical energies, and probably a weak spot in the universe to boot. The real question is, if you're human, why do you have an Equestrian style name?" "It's not his real name." Twilight informed him. "He can't remember his real name, and when he tried to say it that's what came out." "Probably due to your brain's molecules adjusting to this world's vibrational frequency." That tripped Derpy up. "What's a vibrational frequency?" I put my hoof over the Doctor's mouth before he could answer. "Where I come from, there's something called String Theory. It says that everything in the universe, light, gravity, all the building blocks of matter, everything, is made up of tiny, one-dimensional strings. How quickly they vibrate, and whether they're open or closed loops, determine what they form. It would make sense that different universes would vibrate in different ways." I thought for a minute. "I'm just glad I landed in this universe." "How come?" Was Derpy's next question. "Imagine what would've happened if I ended up in a universe where the gravity was stronger than my body could take." "Wow..." The look I got was awed, in a way. For some reason. "Yeah, I know. Very messy." Dery shook her head. "No, it's just... you just out-Doctored the Doctor!" "I wouldn't say he 'out-Doctored' me." The Time Lord grumbles. "Besides, his body changed to match this universe, it'd probably change to match that universe, too." Twilight leaned over to Derpy. "I take it the Doctor is the one who usually does the lectures?" "When he's not asking ridiculously personal questions." Twilight laughed. "Derpy, I can't believe you've been having crazy adventures under everypony's noses." She gave Twilight a half-smile. "Yeah, it's been pretty crazy. And dangerous." The little smile vanished. "And scary." "Come on, Derpy." The Doctor chided. "It hasn't all been scary. Remember when our bodies got all switched up?" She thought about that for a second. "I guess that wasn't that scary. I don't really know what that was..." Time for some planning. "I know we all think we'll find what we're looking for in the Everfree," I said, "but where? What part? It's kind of big, you know." "Well, Twilight and the others go to the old castle all the time." Derpy pointed out. "So it's probably not there." "Not necessarily. If this is something old then yeah, we probably would've seen it if it were at the castle. But if it's from the same dimension it pulled Verdant Spark from, it could still have holed up at the castle." Twilight's words got me thinking. Thinking bad, bad, bad thoughts. "If it dragged me in its wake as it crossed, then it would have to be insanely powerful." "We knew that already." The Doctor was still a little cross with me for stealing his thunder. "Yanking me here is one thing. The right pony could pull it off with the right spell." Twilight grinned at me. "I hope you aren't implying anything about me." I smiled back, but it turned out more like a grimace. "Pulling me along with it, in its slipstream, means something more." "What are you thinking, Verdant?" Derpy prodded. "Where I come from, you three are stories. "Their looks said they knew this, and that I should get to the point. "Stories of love, hope, and friendship. Well, we have other stories. Stories of evil gods. Not mean or greedy, evil. Gods so incomprehensibly powerful that they bend reality around them, and drive people mad just by being seen. If one of them is here, I won't be getting home." "If one of them is here, my friends will actually be able to help." I sighed, more at my world than at her. "You don't get it, Twilight. You can't. And that is why this world is doomed if one of them is here. You're used to ponies acting in evil ways. Acting evil. These gods are evil. They're motivated by things we can't understand. Tirek and Sombra, they lusted for power. These things have power, they don't really need or want more. They... they're just evil. They won't be swayed by the power of friendship." Twilight was silent for a while. We all were. Then Derpy looked around and shivered. "Great. As if this place wasn't scary enough already." "Don't worry, Derpy." Twilight reassured. "Something that powerful, Celestia would've sensed it. All of the princesses would. Even me, I think." "And it crossing would've sent ripples that the Tardis would pick up well in advance." The Doctor added. I let that convince me. "You guys are probably right. I'm sure we're totally safe from evil-" I was jerked into silence when something wrapped itself around my rear ankles and lifted me up. "By Celestia!" I looked at what had grabbed me and recognized it as Derp finished shouting. "A hydra!" How? How could something so big be so stealthy? I started struggling to unwrap the tongue that had trapped me, cursing the lack of hands. How was I supposed to get free without them? The answer was, I wasn't. Two more tongues shot out and pulled my forehooves away. The blood rushed to my head as I hung upside down, and I started worrying about inappropriate things happening to me. Loopiness had chased away the fear of being eaten. A blinding purple beam severed the tongue holding my back legs, saving me from that fate. Or any others... I was swung back upright as the other two tongues held on for an instant longer before the pain registered and they recoiled. I dropped, stuck the landing, and immediately ran to hide behind Twilight, who had another shot prepared in case the hydra wanted to press the issue. It didn't. Like any predator, it preferred easy meals. A few ponies running away from it was fine, but this one could hurt it. The hydra retreated into the trees. The Doctor let out a relieved sigh. "I don't think we'll have to worry about him anymore." Twilight turned to me, thoughtful. "You need to learn something..."
I'm learning magic! Twilight's teaching me magic! "Ow." Derpy said as I lost my focus and the stone I was trying to levitate landed back on her head. "Sorry, Derpy." "Oh, no, it's ok." She smiled, far too widely to be convincing. "But... is there any way we could stop and you could try lifting the rock off the ground? It might be easier than doing it while we're walking." She wasn't the only one losing patience with the training. "We can't stop now." Twilight insisted, stubbornness refusing to allow any changes to her method. "He'll get it. He just has to try harder." "I've been trying for hours." I growled. This magic was ridiculous. No incantations, no special runes, nothing. The horn just glowed and it happened. "Try it again." Twilight said, as if it was a helpful tip. Helpful or not, I gave it another go. A pink light wrapped around my horn as I concentrated on moving the little stone. It jittered, then rose. An inch, two, three. When it got five inches up, the spell failed and it dropped again. "God Damn It!" I screamed. Before Twilight could gasp at my vulgarity, I swiped a hoof at the stone. It flew into the bushes. Derpy rubbed the spot where a bruise had formed. I had tried a lot. "Well, he got it to move..." Twilight levitated a different rock into view. "You're lucky I had another, just in case." She tried to put it on Derpy's head, but the pegasus ducked away. "Twilight' can we take a break? My head is starting to hurt." "I'm sorry, Derpy, I didn't think. Of course we can." She lowered the rock. "No. I'm going to get this, and we're going to keep going until I do." Twilight turned to me. "Verdant Spark, Derpy's been literally banging her head against a rock to help you. Or, technically, the rocks been banging against her head. Regardless, Derpy deserves a break." "Why are you so adamant about learning magic?" The Doctor had been quietly staring at his sonic screwdriver for the last few hours, so it was a bit of a surprise when he spoke up. "I assume that's why you went to Twilight first, instead of me and Derpy. Her mastery of magic. So why are you making such a big deal about not being able to do it yourself?" "I'm not used to not being good at things." "Don't worry about it." Derpy consoled. "There's lots of things I'm not good at, the trick is to not let them get you down." "No offense, Derpy, but I'm not you." I immediately regretted saying that. "Oh, well forget I said anything then. Hmph!" She turned away, in a huff. "Look, I'm sorry, ok?" I said. "It's just... I've always been able to pick up anything I've tried really quickly. Science, games, you name it." I kicked a stick out of my way as I put words to my feelings. "It's just so frustrating to not be able to do something that a baby unicorn can do." Twilight changed her pace so that she was side by side with me. "Verdant, you've got to remember that you're not a unicorn. And you're not even supposed to be here in Equestria. It's going to take some time to learn how to do magic, and that's if you're even physically able to do it at all." I looked at my feet- hooves, whatever. "I know. Logically, I understand that could be the problem. Only... we don't have magic where I come from, at least none that I've seen. Here I am, finally getting a chance to do something I've wanted to do since I read my first fantasy novel, and I'm failing. I'm. Failing." We were silent for a while, all of us. Then Derpy did what I'm sure was the kindest thing anyone's ever done for me, spotty memory aside. She trotted over to where Twilight was holding the rock and dipped her head under it. When she brought her head back up, the rock came with it, impressively balanced. Though I noticed it was in a slightly different spot. Derpy smiled. "Your horn glows and the rock moves, so you can do magic. That means you're not failing. You just haven't succeeded yet." "Thank you, Derpy. I'm so sorry. Thank you." I gave her a big hug, knocking the stone off. Which suddenly became irrelevant as an insistent beeping started coming from the Doctor's sonic screwdriver. "Oh, yes!" The Doctor cheered. He elatedly checked the readout. "What's going on?" Twilight asked him, physically stopping his hoof-pumping. He pointed at the sonic. "Before we set out, I set my screwdriver to scan for any trace of the Tardis." "And it's picking up something." I finished for him. "Yes, indeed!" He started running towards the signal. "Avante!" "Avante!" Derpy echoed, this part familiar to her. I looked at Twilight. "I don't really have a battle cry. Do you?" She smiled and took off. "Charge!" I shrugged and followed. "That'll work. Charge!"
Our charging led us to another clearing, a big one this time. If it wasn't surrounded by the trees of the Everfree, I would've thought it was a plain. Seriously, this forest was gigantic. However, the scenery prevented me from appreciating the scale of it right now. Chunks of the ground was covered in what looked like hardened mucous, giving the whole area a Geiger-esque vibe. The Tardis was off to the side, wrapped in some sort of tentacles leading to some sort of... womb-thing in the center. It glowed as we approached. I wasn't the only one to notice that. "Why is it glowing?" Derpy asked. "It looks like it's feeding off your Tardis, somehow." Twilight observed. "Oh... stupid, stupid, stupid Doctor!" He slapped his forehead. "What is it, Doctor?" The princess inquired. "The Tardis! It's full of possibilities! The potential of all that has or could happen!" "Ok, so it's sucking up potential energy." Twilight prodded. "What's got you so twisted? We'll just disconnect it." He grabbed her frantically. "Because, it's not just taking it from the Tardis." He gestured around us, and I finally noticed all the dead grass. "It's taking from everything in this clearing! And that now includes a time lord, one of the four most powerful ponies in Equestria, and a human that was ripped from his universe so recently that it's practically dripping off him! We can't stay here!" Even as he said that, it was already too late. The womb-thing glowed even brighter. Then it gave birth.
"Oh my God." I was the first to get my wits together enough to speak. That was all I could manage. "What in Celestia's name is that?" Derpy turned to the Doctor. "Is it... an alicorn?" He shook his head. "No, I don't think so. It's off somehow." On a second glance, I totally agreed with his assessment. While it had the wings and a horn, and a coat somehow whiter than Celestia's, that was all the alicorn traits it possessed. It was short, barely tall than Twilight. Its horn was gnarled, and its body seemed shriveled. But the worst thing was the eyes. They were all black, the pupils lost in the darkness. Even though the body stood listlessly, they never stopped staring at us. "I think you're right, Doctor." Twilight concurred. "In fact... it looks more like a white changling." "What do we do?" Derpy whispered. Twilight nodded towards the Tardis. "It's still drawing power from the Tardis. We should disconnect it while that thing's still recovering." She started towards the Tardis. I stopped her before she got more than an inch, keeping my eyes on the thing. "No, don't!" "What's wrong?" The Doctor demanded. "We have to sever that umbilical cord before it gets its act together." I pointed at its face. "Look." They did, but they couldn't see what I was trying to show them. "It hasn't stopped watching us. It's not recovering, it's waiting. Like a snake. The second we step towards the Tardis, it'll strike." That froze them. "What do we do?" Derpy asked again, this time more insistently. "One of us has to distract it so the others can get the Tardis loose." "I'll do it." Twilight volunteered. "No." I said immediately. "That thing's full of energy from the Tardis and us. If you fight it, this whole place will burn. And we're close enough to Ponyville that it might get hit by a stray beam." I cracked my neck, psyching myself up for what I had to say. "I'll do it." "You!?" All three of them had the same question. "Twilight's too powerful." I explained. "The Doctor knows the Tardis better than anyone. And Derpy's no fighter. It has to be me." Twilight had her doubts. "Can you do it? You can't even use telekinesis." "If I thought a magic fight was the solution, you'd be the one distracting it." They didn't like it, but we didn't have a choice. They agreed. "All right. On my mark, run for the Tardis." They tensed, ready to sprint. "Go!" As I expected, once they took off the not-alicorn thing launched itself towards them, aiming a punch at Derpy. I was ready, and before it hit, I wrapped my forehooves around its limb and dragged it down into an armbar. "Me first, jerkface." The first time I saw any sort of emotion from the thing was when it glared at me for saying that. Then the blank mask came back. It shrugged and that sent me flying. As I skidded to a landed, my momentum rolled me through so I ended up on my stomach. I looked up just in time to see four hooves about to down on my face. I rolled out of the way, kicking at its legs as I did. It hopped out of range. The thing giving me space was exactly what I needed. I got up, trying to think of a way to survive. I knew I wasn't going to win this fight when I went into it, but I didn't realize how strong the thing was. My thoughts were interrupted when it charged at me, horn first. I was able to dodge it, kind of, but it caught my flank. The thing wheeled around. But there was a problem. While it had wheeled, it noticed the others again. It wasn't looking at me, it was staring at them. I wasn't doing my job. "You know..." I bantered, trying desperately to get it to focus on me. "I need to think of a name for you. How about... 'Tom'?" No reaction. "What about 'Fluffy'?" It started to turn away from me. I ran at it. "How about 'Fucking Idiot'!?" It snapped back to me, which was great for the others. Not so much for me. I was able to duck under a lazy back-hoof, but the gash just behind my saber shaped cutie mark was slowing me down. I couldn't get out of the way of the next blow. and it sent me tumbling. "You know what?" I said as I picked myself up. "This just isn't working. I can't fight on four legs." I stood on my back legs, all dramatic and epic. My opponent wasn't impressed. It launched itself at me. But it was a different ballgame. I sidestepped and placed a hoof square on his jaw. Ok, maybe not too different a game. The creature's head barely moved and I'm pretty sure my hoof cracked. I skipped back to avoid a jab from its horn. This fight just wasn't going my way. My arm was stinging from the shock, as if I had punched a steel vault. I shook it out. I couldn't go hit for hit with this thing. It was strong enough to throw me with a casual wave, and I'm not entirely sure its body was actually made of flesh. But maybe I could use its power against it. I shuffled until my back was to a huge boulder. The thing obviously didn't know this trick and it charged. I waited until it was almost to me, then spun around behind him. I added a dropkick's force to the creature's charge and it slammed horn first into the rock. It was trapped. I took the time to catch my breath and put pressure on my cut, which hadn't stopped bleeding. Derpy flew over to me. "Where'd you learn to do all that?" She asked. "Don't know." I gasped. "Can't remember. Are you done yet?" She looked back at the Tardis. "No, not yet. It's really stuck." "This thing will get loose soon, and I don't think I can last too much longer. Please hurry." Derpy nodded. "We will." She took off, just as the not-alicorn was able to pull its horn out. It turned and glared at me. "All right." I said. "Round two."
"So Frank, what's your favorite color?" I deflected another blow from the creature. It was too strong for me to block its attacks, so I had to settle for just redirecting them. Or dodging, but that was getting harder and harder. The ache from my hip was getting worse. And to pile on the bad, it was learning. After I'd used its momentum to throw it a few times, it stopped over-extending when it struck at me. It was content to use less power and just beat me down slowly. Of course, slow was a relative term. The fight had only lasted a few minutes so far. I was bruised head to haunch, I was sure I'd cracked my hoof, and that damn cut still wouldn't stop bleeding. The last thing was mostly my fault, as every time I jumped out of the way of an attack I tore it open a bit more. The pain was incredible. But I couldn't let it stop me. Twilight, Derpy, and the Doctor still hadn't freed the Tardis, so I had to keep this thing distracted. Hence the inane questions. "Embarrassed, eh? All right, let's try this one. What kind of music do you like?" Maybe it'll get mad and make a mistake. Or maybe it'll learn something new. Something like how to fight on two legs. "You know," I said as it stood and mimicked my stance, "in any other situation, I'd be impressed by how quickly you figure things out." It tried a kick, but that was exactly what I'd been hoping for. I snatched its leg and pulled, throwing it off balance and onto the ground. I couldn't help but taunt it as it lay there. "I guess 'Fucking idiot' is the best name for you after all. You have all this power, but no experience in using it on only two legs. There's no way you can beat me at my own game!" The look in its eyes as it stood told me that it thoroughly agreed. It stayed on four legs. Its horn glowed. Maybe I had made a mistake. That was all I had time to think before the creatures magic wrapped around my ankles. For the second time today, I was yanked off my feet. It dangled me in front of its face and started... mewling? It was trying to speak! "Nnnggh." "Don't know what you're trying to say, don't care." I grabbed its horn as best as I could with hooves and twisted. The thing groaned, dropping me. I scrambled up as quickly as I could manage with my leg and locked him in a clinch. "Hurry!" I heard Twilight urge the others. "Verdant's not doing too well." "It won't budge." Derpy replied. "Derpy, sit on it!" I shouted. The advice cost me a few ribs when the creature returned my clinch with a bear hug. Luckily, I had the good sense to cough the blood into its eyes. It let me go and I staggered back. My freedom didn't last long. The thing's magic took hold of me again and I was slammed against the very boulder I had tricked it with. I only felt the pain for a few seconds before my entire body went numb. I fell to the dirt like a rag doll. The creature walked over to me, smirking. "Ynuurr... duun." It growled, grinding my face against the boulder. It turned and started walking towards the others. I grabbed its tail. I needed to keep its attention. "N-not done." It punted me away, but I'd succeeded in drawing its focus back to me. Telekinetic magic wrapped around me yet again. This time, instead of dashing me against something really hard, it lifted me high in the air. Another layer of magic formed around its horn as it spun a death ball into existence. One pointed right at me. I would've been impressed at its level of control over the magic I could barely begin to use if my lungs weren't currently filling with blood. Then I heard a BOOM! The light of the rainbow made the creature's shot go wide as Dash snatched me out of the thing's grasp. "Looks like you really weren't the bad guy." She quipped. "Th-than-." I choked. A bit of blood spilled out. "Whoa, don't thank me." Rainbow Dash said as she noticed how badly I was hurt. She set me down on the ground as quickly and as gently as she could. "At least, not yet." By this time, the creature had finished blinking the entire spectrum out of its eyes and it started stomping toward us. Dash stood her ground, body directly between the thing and me. "No..." I forced out. "R-run..." "Forget that!" She replied. "You had your go. Now it's my turn." If I could move, and if I weren't a human who only looked like a pony, I'd have kissed her right there. The thing was close now, but apparently still far enough that it felt safe to power up another death ball. As it did, I used what little I had left to reach out to Rainbow Dash. "I know you feel like you need to protect me, but you have to run!" The effort made me cough some more. "You can't take a shot from that thing." "Never know until I try." "Rainbow-!" She cut me off. "And if you really do know all about us, you'll know that there's no way I can leave a friend behind." The thing let out a whimper, and the death ball dissipated. Rainbow Dash pointed. "Besides, we might not need to fight. Look, it's weakening!" Twilight teleported to the thing's side and let out a blast that took its head off. As its body crumpled, she teleported to us. "How bad is it?" I opened my mouth to speak, but only blood came out. Rainbow Dash interpreted. "He's really bad, Twilight." Derpy and the Doctor joined us. "Oh no. Verdant!" Derpy cried, trying to pick me up. The Doctor stopped her. "Derpy, we can't move him." "We have to get him to a hospital!" He looked pretty grim. "I know, but if we move him, we could end up hurting him even worse." Twilight put a hoof on me. "I'll teleport him there. Rainbow, you go get the rest of our friends. We'll probably need their help soon." "You got it!" She shot off. "We'll follow in the Tardis." "All right, Doctor." Then I was in a crowded hallway, Twilight shouting for attention. "I need a stretcher here! Right now!" A doctor(the non-time traveling kind) stormed over to us. "Just who do you think you are, teleporting into a hospital like that? There are patients here!" Twilight had taken enough for today. "Listen up, I'm a Princess. See the wings? The horn? That's who I am. And yes, you do have a patient." She pointed at me. "Right there!" The doctor finally noticed me, and his demeanor instantly changed. "Orderlies, a stretcher. Stat! What happened to him?" "I can't tell you that. But he has massive internal injuries." As the medical ponies carefully placed me on the stretcher, I heard the whoosh of the Tardis. Derpy ran up to us. "Doctor, is he going to be ok?" They escorted me away. "I don't know, Miss. The Princess is right, his injuries are severe. Just by the blood coming from his mouth, I can tell that at least one lung is punctured." The adrenaline was finally wearing off, and my vision was starting to close in. The doctor noticed. "We're losing him. There's no choice, we have to put him in the new stasis pod." "The what?" Twilight asked. We reached a big room with a bank of computers on one side and a pony-sized pod on the other. The orderlies loaded me into the pod and it started to close. "It's a prototype healing pod. It puts the patient in suspended animation as it begins the-" The hatch finished closing, cutting off the doctor's explanation. Then everything went black.
I woke up to the hiss of a stasis pod opening. My stasis pod. "He's ok! Oh, thank Celestia." That was Twilight's voice. The lid of the pod slid off, and as it did I could see her, the Doctor, and Derpy. They looked less happy than I would've expected. More worried, with a touch of relief. "What's with the faces?" "Verdant..." Derpy asked, the first to speak despite looking the most nervous. "Are you ok?" I sat up. "I've been in stasis. You three would know better than I would." They looked at each other, and after a few seconds the Doctor cleared his throat. "Actually, no." He started meandering around the room, his curiosity getting to him. As he did, I could see that I wasn't in the same room as I was before. It was dilapidated and seemed... older somehow. Worn down. "Just after you were sealed in, a rift opened. Yanked you away before we could get back into your room." "We were able to follow you here because of some kind of trail thing." Derpy added. "Something the rift left behind." "Residual energy signature." Twilight clarified. I stood. The IVs and assorted monitoring cords fell away as I did. "Why do I feel so... groggy?" "That's just the last of the anesthetic." The Doctor supplied. "Should wear off soon." I smiled, and Twilight handed me a glass of water. "That's good. I've never liked- GAAH!" The glass shattered as I fell to my knees. Twilight moved to help. "What's wrong?" What wasn't wrong? Every inch of me was burning. I slumped onto my face. The Doctor whipped out his Sonic and began scanning. He got the results as I started writhing. "Ah, I was afraid of this. Our times were moving at different speeds. An hour for us and just seconds for you. The machine hadn't even started healing your injuries." "What do we do, Doctor?" Derpy asked, the question a plea. "Twilight, do you know any healing spells?" She shook her head. "I'm sorry, but no. I never really studied surgery. I can do cuts or bruises... come on, Twilight, think!" I flipped onto my back, the pain making the action look extremely fish-like.. "No, no, no, no!" The Doctor fretted. "The way you are now, your internal organs are barely holding together." I could feel that, but not for much longer. The pain was numbing. I was probably going into shock. "I-" The blood I spit up cut me off. "Don't speak, or you'll literally shake your lungs apart." "Doctor. Important." I wheezed. "How much... do you need... to hurt yourself. For the regeneration to kick in?" The Doctor reeled, as if I'd punched him square in the nose. "No, Doctor." Derpy moaned. "No, it's too dangerous." "He'll die if I don't..." Twilight crossed to them. "Doctor, what he's asking, will it kill you?" "No.." He said. "But it could change me. All that I am, this body, could vanish." "Do it." Twilight insisted. "Twilight!" "I'm sorry, Derpy. But you both know he wouldn't be like this if he hadn't tried to help you." "But-" The Doctor raised a hoof to silence his concerned companion. "Derpy, it's ok. She's right, I have to help." He started searching the shelves and cabinets, pointing to another clump. Twilight and Derpy took the cue and began looking through their assigned section. They needn't have bothered. Seconds after, the Doctor found what he was seeking. He turned back to me and I could see what, exactly, he'd been after. It was a scalpel. A little rusted from age and slightly bent, but still sharp as a razor. "Will... that work?" I asked. "Not too little, not too much?" The Doctor studied it for as long as he dared, then forced a smile. "Won't know until I try, as Rainbow Dash would say. Especially in a situation like this." I straightened up a bit more. "Doctor." "Yeah?" I'd be blushing at this point, if there was still some blood in my face. "If I don't... you know. Survive. If I die will you give Dash a kiss for me? I know I'm a human and she's a pony, but I feel like she's earned it, or something. For saving me." That got a laugh from him, a real one. "Tell you what. I'll remind you to kiss her when we get back." "That'll work." I chuckled. It didn't last long before I started coughing again. Everything got serious again. "Are you ready?" The Doctor lifted the scalpel. "Allons-y." He shook his head. "Wrong me." I flashed a red stained grin. "I know." He plunged the scalpel into his side, hopefully missing the vital parts. There was no way for me to know, because apparently I wasn't a veterinarian back in my own dimension. Or maybe I was. Goddamn memory! Vital areas or no, the plan seemed to be working. As the Doctor pulled the blade out with a twist, the healing glow started. "Is this... regeneration?" Twilight was awed. "Yep." The Doctor replied, his voice strained as he struggled to control it. "Just got to make sure enough comes out to heal Verdant." "But not so much that you change. Right, Doctor?" Derpy couldn't look any more worried for him. "It's ok, Derpy. I think I got it right. I'm healed, now I just need to..." He pushed the cloud at me. I could almost feel the light stitching me together, and as my nerves got kicked into gear that 'almost' went away. It hurt. It hurt a lot. How could the Doctor take this every time? And then it was over. The others helped me to my feet and I wiped the blood off. "Are you ok?" Twilight asked. "I am now. Thanks, Doctor." "Forget it." He said, looking around the room again. "For now, let's focus on figuring out where we are." I gave voice to my earlier observations. "Everything seems... old, or something. Run down." He nodded. "Yes... and the air. Can you taste it? Tastes sort of unhealthy." I couldn't taste it, per se, but I could feel what he meant. The air felt heavy. Dirty. Why did that seem familiar? "The light came from that window!" A voice shouted outside. We all rushed to the aforementioned window to see who the voice came from. Outside was Hell. Nothing but the ruined remains of crumbling buildings and warped billboards could be seen for miles. Tattered posters covered everything. Very familiar posters. But what sealed it were the ponies running toward our building. They carried guns and clubs, and their spiked armor was stained with red. "Oh, God..." I moaned. "What?" They all asked. "I know exactly where we are." "Where, Verdant?" Twilight prodded. I turned away from the window, motioning for them to follow me. "We're in Equestria."
"What do you mean we're in Equestria!?" Twilight was right on the edge of losing it, terrified she had missed some tragedy that'd hit her home. "It's a little complicated." I responded. "I'll explain later. For now, we have to get to the Tardis. Where is it?" "It's in the next room." "Too late! Look!" Derpy pointed. I turned to look out in the hall. The Raiders were already charging down it, towards us. They saw me and raised their weapons. "How did they get here so fast?" Derpy scratched her head. "Never mind! Duck!" I pushed them out of the doorway as a storm of bullets tore through the air where they'd been standing. "What is that?!" Twilight yelped. "It's so loud!" I risked a peek. The Raiders had entrenched themselves at the t-junction opposite ours, clearly expecting us to return fire. "It's all right, Derpy, Twilight. Just stay down." "Well? What are those things?" "Just think of them as throwing rocks fast enough to punch through a pony's body. Lots and lots of rocks." Like a cannon, but smaller." Twilight summarized. Another barrage chipped the frame of the door, the Raiders feeling confident enough to resume fire. But not confident enough to advance, I noticed. Why were they being so skittish? That was about to be a moot question, and soon. The Raiders began methodically pouring bullets into the walls, trying to push us toward the doorway. "We need a shield! Quick!" I shouted over the din. "I've got your shield right here!" I heard one of the Raiders taunt. A second later something bounced into the room. Something shiny and metallic. Something hoof-sized. My heart quit from fear. "Twilight, throw it back!" I shrieked. Purple magic scooped the grenade up and whipped it back the way it came. Twilight turned to me, looking like she was going to ask why something so small had scared me so badly. She never got the chance. The grenade blew, and the smack of wet chunks of meat hitting tile echoed down the hall. The Princess' eyes widened, and she looked as if she was about to throw up. "What did I do?" "You saved our lives." I counseled. "Focus on that." My therapy session was halted when a battle cry came from the blast site. One of the ponies must have survived. He roared again, sounding closer this time. Survived and was now running towards us. I planted myself right next to the door, as close as possible without the Raider being able to see me. As he passed the frame, I scythed a kick at his front ankles. He pitched forward. The blade he'd been holding in his mouth skidded across the floor. Before he could stand back up, I dashed over and smashed a hoof into his jaw. He was out, but he wouldn't be for long. I sauntered over to where his dagger had ended up, glad he'd carried it instead of a gun. I didn't think my tongue was dexterous enough to pull a trigger. I picked it up and turned. "Verdant..." Derpy began. "What do you think you're doing?" Twilight demanded, cutting off the pegasus. "Whee haf-" I stopped and spit the dagger out. "We have to finish him." "What? No!" I sighed. "You didn't have a problem with killing that creature in the forest." Twilight stomped in frustration. "That was different! That thing was a monster! He's a pony." It was my turn to be frustrated. "There's already a hall full of dead ponies out there!" The Princess looked away. "You didn't tell me it would explode. I would've thrown it out the window. They wouldn't have been able to break through my shield, so we could have negotiated with them/" Negotiated? God Damn it, negotiated!?" I pointed at the unconscious Raider, not even sparing him a glance as I berated Twilight. "You can't negotiate with that! He's not a pony. See his armor? That is not fucking paint! That's blood. Blood from some poor pony this asshole hunted, tortured, and killed. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if they found time for a little rape. This fuck's more of a monster than that creature, and it tried to literally smash me to pieces!" "I- um..." The Doctor stepped forward. "Verdant, Twilight didn't mean any harm." I sighed again. "I know. It's just... ponies like him are what's ruining Equestria-" "No." Twilight said sharply. I looked back at her and, to my shock, saw that she had another beam spell readied. "I'm sorry, Twilight, but this is Equestria. A version of it at least. Don't worry about it, there's no way-" "Stop!" She shouted, then she fired the beam. It narrowly missed my head. I turned to track where the shot went and found myself face to cauterized stump with what used to be the Raider. I cleared my throat. "Oh. Thanks, Twilight." I turned back to face her. Tears were starting to flow. "Why didn't he stop? I had him, he knew I had him. Why?" I lifted her chin with a hoof, so we were looking eye to eye. "Twilight, listen to me when I say this. Some people- or ponies- can't be reasoned with. They can't be befriended, or redeemed. They can only be stopped. If you didn't stop him, he was going to hurt other ponies. And it speaks volumes of your character that you wouldn't allow that to happen in front of you." She sniffled and nodded, somewhat comforted. We heard Derpy shriek and both turned to look. The pegasus was frantically batting at her mane, trying to brush something out of it. "No, no, no!" "Derpy, what is it?" The Doctor asked, moving to help his companion. "Get it off! Get it off!" Then we saw it. A bit of the Raider had landed on the poor girl's head. Twilight delicately levitated it off and Derpy collapsed into the Doctor's embrace. He turned to look at me. "We have to find a way back to the other Equestria." "I agree." I said. "But in order for me to be of any help, I have to know where in the timeline we are." "What do you need for that?" I thought about it. "The Tardis. We have to meet one of the only ponies who pass for heroes in this world."
"Here we are." The Doctor said as he flipped the parking brake on. "Are you absolutely sure?" I asked. "I'm not doubting you or anything, but I'd rather not walk into another ambush. God knows, waking up to one is enough." Twilight nodded, lips pursed, and Derpy did nothing. I'd be lying if I said that didn't worry me a little. The Doctor double-checked his instruments. "Yep. Tenpony Tower, just like you asked for." "All right, let's go." We all started for the door. I stopped short as a thought occured to me. "Wait, guys. Hold on." They all turned to face me. "What is it, Verdant?" The Doctor wondered. I pointed at Twilight. "We need to cover her wings." "My wings? Why?" Twilight demanded. "What, do they not have alicorns here?" "They do, but that's the problem. Please, just trust me on this." Twilight groaned. "Fine. Come on, Derpy. You can show me where you keep the clothes around here." The Princess stomped off, with Derpy trailing meekly behind. The Doctor and I waited in silence. After a while, he started fiddling with his sonic screwdriver. More awkwardness ensued as we found ourselves with nothing to talk about. Finally, he put the screwdriver away. "So." He said. "Are you-" Acrash came from down the hall, followed a few seconds later by Derpy shouting, We're fine, don't worry! And, um, don't come in here!" I was glad to hear she wasn't completely catatonic, and I said as much. "Yeah." The Doctor agreed. "Now I'm just worried about what she broke." "Buns of steel." "Are you two talking about me?" Derpy rejoined us and Twilight followed a second or two after, making final adjustments to the bow of her new dress. "What do you think?" I studdied Twilight's attire. It was simple enough, a short blue frock with black polka dots, the bow being the only accessory. "Well... I don't really know pony fashion. So I guess it looks fine." "You're so encouraging." She deadpanned. "Whatever, let's go." Together, we marched out of the Tardis. Right into an armed security team. "Hold it!" The captain snapped. "Who are you ponies? How'd you get in here?" I elbowed my time traveling cohort. "Doc, the paper. Show them the paper!" "Oh, right." He produced the psychic paper. "What are you two whispering?" "He was just reminding me to show you this." He held up the paper. The Captain read what he thought he saw on the blank card, frowning. "Super maintainence team. What the hell does that mean?" Derpy spoke up, knowing the steps to this dance. "Just that we're, well, super. Pegasus, earth pony, unicorn. A pony for every problem." "How many maintainence pegasi do you see in the Wasteland?" I put in. "Right... Putting aside the fact that none of your cutie marks are remotely connected to fixing things-" "A pony has to make a living." I interruppted. "And the fact that you look to be an ex-Raider." He continued. I winced at that, silently cursing the fact that I had forgotten my own cutie mark. "Why are you here? I didn't place any order." Aha! "We got a call from some of the tennants." I went from cursing to commending my own cleverness. "They said it was a four man- ahem- maintainence pony job, and to get here quick as possible." The Captain slowly nodded, starting to buy it. But he still had doubts. "So you all got here, and then decided to cram yourselves into this tiny box." "It's a storage shed." Twilight explained. "It's bigger on the inside. Afraid I can't tell you how it works, though. It's a trade secret." "Can you go get Mr. Life Bloom and Ms. Homage? The order came from them, and we'd like to get started on what they want us to do." I tried to sound somewhat bored. He groaned, apparently deciding we were who we said we were and annoyed at the inconvenience of now having to fetch our 'clients'. "Just stay here, I'll send them down. Come on, guys." They left us there, to the relief of all. Except for Twilight, who was offended by their unprofessionalism. "Those were the worst security ponies I've ever seen. They didn't even detain us!" "And yet you seem upset." Was my snarky reply. "While we have some time to ourselves, could you tell us more about this world?" The Doctor asked before Twilight could think of a comeback. "I think it'd be best if we all knew a bit more about what we're dealing with." I scratched my mane. "Like I said before, this is Equestria. About 200 years after a cataclysmic war with the Zebra Nation. Almost every are is at least slightly magically irradiated. And there are other, worse things." "A war..." Derpy muttered. "Doctor, I think I'll go back in the Tardis now." Before we could say anything, she turned and walked into the Tardis, forgetting even to shut the door. "I'll go see if she's ok." Twilight offered. I could see that 'ok' was the state she was farthest from, but I nodded any way. Hopefully they could help each other. Our fake clients showed up just as Twilight telekinetically closed the door. Homage saw the Tardis and stopped dead. "You're him. The pony with the blue box..." "Not exactly." The Doctor corrected. "I'm... a version of him." "What?" I stomped a hoof. "Look, we don't really have time to explain. We need to find Littlepip." She furrowed her brow, seeming confused. "Little-who?" The secrecy was exasperating. "You know... Littlepip. The Wasteland Savior? The Lightbringer? Come on, we're in a hurry." "A Savior?" Life Bloom couldn't possibly be any more condescending. "No such thing. Not in the Wasteland." "I've been hearing rumors of a Stable Dweller near Ponyville." Homage informed us. "But nothing like what you're talking about." I facehoofed. "Oh, God..." "What is it?" The Doctor asked. "We're too early. Way, way too early. She hasn't gotten here yet." The Doctor looked thoughtful. "Well that's not good." "No, it's not." I agreed. "We'll have to forget about trying to talk with her. Any contact now could ruin everything." "Contact with who?" Life Bloom groused. "Ruin what? What are you talking about?" "I'm sorry, sir. I can't tell you. It was a mistake even saying what I've already said." I actually was sorry. "But-" Homage cut her friend off. "I get the feeling there's some sort of time-travel thing going on here, Life Bloom. Let's drop it." "Thank you, Miss Homage. And thank you for not calling the guards on us." I started to leave, then turned back. "Oh, and I know you have no real reason to listen to my advice, but I'll give it anyway. You should trust toaster repair-ponies." Before she could respond, a security pony entered and began whispering in her ear. Her eyes widened and she looked at me, confused. I just winked and walked away. The Doctor trotted after me. "Verdant, the Tardis is back there. Where are you going." "To find a good view of the front date."
I watched the Savior and her friends walk through the gate and start toward the front door. The Doctor joined me, having stopped to check on Derpy before following. "So which one's Littlepip?" He asked. I pointed her out and the Doctor frowned. "She's so... little." "She's big where it counts." I told him. "She has to be, to survive what comes next." He turned to me. "What happens to her?" I told him. Every painful detail. He looked back at the tiny mare. "She's so little." He whispered. "I'd go to her, if I could. Tell her everything she needs to do to win. How to avoid the danger. How to be the Savior. But I can't." The Doctor was skeptical. "Why is that?" "Because she's not the Savior, not yet. All that pain. The fear. The love she finds and enemies she makes. Every bullet she takes and every friend she loses, it builds her into the role." I could see he wasn't quite buying it, so I kept going. "I could go tell her, sure. Maybe she'd even do what needs to be done. But what if she doesn't? What if she runs away, or gets someone else to do it? Well, then she'll never be the hope of the Wasteland. She'll always be the Stable Dweller, not the Lightbringer, and this place will never get better." He thought for a while. "You know..." He finally said. "A wise man knows restraint." I smiled. "I've heard that." He didn't smile back. "He also knows the difference between a reason and an excuse." I locked eyes with him. "How about you? Do you know the difference?" After what felt like an hour, he backed down. "I'm not that wise." He started walking away. "How's Derpy doing?" I inquired, hoping to sound concillatory. The Doctor stopped, but didn't turn around. "Not great. She's not the kind of pony who takes being splattered with brains very well." "Which is why she's your companion... wait!" I had an idea. "What is it?" I strode past him. "We're all done here, so come on." "Where are you going?" "Back to the Tardis! There's someone Derpy needs to meet."
I dove through the door of the Tardis, just seconds before the cloud of bullets reached me. "This is not where I wanted to go!" I screamed. "Then close the door so we can leave!" The Doctor shouted back. I did, collapsing afterwards from the adrenaline. A few seconds later the whooshing told me we were on our way. I stood back up. "When I said 'New Appleloosa', what possessed you to take us to a FORMER PRISON?!" "The Tardis doesn't know this place as well as you do." The Doctor shrugged. "But it's fine. We've got our bearings and we're locked on. Next stop, New Appleloosa!" "I'll hold my breath." I muttered as the whooshing continued. "Come on, Verdant! It's not like those griffons hit you." Twilight chided. I started to respond, but the shuddering of the Tardis told me we'd landed. "Ok." I said after it stopped. "Everybody out. "Twilight, put that dress back on. At least until we get to where we're going." Twilight groaned, but complied. Then she started toward the exit with the Doctor. Derpy, on the other hand, stayed put. "I'll stay here. It's not like I'd be much help anyway." "Nope. You're coming with us." "But- I-" Derpy sputtered. "I shook my head. "No buts. You are the reason we're here. You have to see this." "It's ok, Derpy." Twilight soothed. I promise it'll be ok. So does Verdant." She looked at me. "Doesn't he?" I kicked at the floor. "Sure, I guess. We'll still be trapped in a post-apocalyptic Equestria, but other than that, yeah." Reluctantly, Derpy followed us out of the Tardis. I led the way through the beat-up town, though it it was mostly luck when I found the right building. I didn't really know where I was going, but I did find out I could read Equestrian. That was a lucky break. I went in first to make sure it was empty besides the mare we were looking for. Then, I waved for the others to come in. "Derpy," I said as the sullen pegasus entered. "Meet Ditzy Doo." They both stared in shock. Ditzy recovered first and quickly wrote on her board. "Could you lock the door?" "No problem." I did as she asked. By the time I turned back, she'd already composed another message. "She's me, but how? Time travel?" "No, she's from a different universe. Same with the Doctor and Twilight." At the Princess' name, Ditzy finally looked at the other two, registering their presence for the first time. In a flash she tackled Twilight, hugging her for all she was worth. After a moment, she backed off and scribbled on her board. "I'm sorry. It's just been so long since I've seen my Twilight." "That's ok, I guess." Twilight grinned a bit. "What... what happened to her? To me?" I looked to Ditzy. "I think it'll be faster if I explained. May I?" "Fine with me. You seem to know a lot." Was the written reply. "I won't let you down." I bowed and got a ghastly giggle in return. I straightened back up, and turned to my fellow travelers. "This is this world's version of Ditzy Doo." I flourished with a hoof. "Her skin." Derpy's voice cracked. "Why's it so... rotten?" I saw Ditzy wince. Not for herself, but with the realization of what her current form would look like to her younger self. "Ditzy is what the wastelanders have termed a 'ghoul'." I explained. "Necromancy?!" That's impossible! Nopony would dare do something like that." Twilight was offended at the very notion. "That's a debate for another day." I murmured. "But no. Ditzy is very much alive and, given her situation, in fairly high spirits. Right?" Ditzy nodded enthusiastically. "Then why? How is she still alive?" Twilight had to know. I cleared my throat and began. "200 years ago, during that war I told you about, Ditzy was caught in a bomb's blast. She wasn't close enough to be killed, but the radiation altered her physiology. Increased her life span and, well, made her body like that." "So that's why she can't talk?" Twilight asked. "The necrosis?" I awkwardly rubbed the back of my neck. "No... umm, some time ago, her tongue was cut out by Raiders." It was too much for Derpy. She started crying. Before even the Doctor could react, Ditzy wrapped her other self in a sticky embrace. She held Derpy until the tears turned to sniffles, then wrote on her board. "It's ok, Other Me. It really is. I have friends, and I get to help ponies." "But- your-" Derpy sniffed. "She survived." I spoke up. "And surviving made her stronger." Derpy sat. "I guess all I'm good for is surviving." She muttered glumly. This wasn't working like I wanted it to. "The three of you go back to the Tardis. We have another stop to make." As they shuffled out, Ditzy jotted something on her board. "She seemed sad. About more than what happened to me." "Yeah." I looked at the door they'd just exited. "She hasn't had a good time of it, lately. First thing she went through in this world was a Raider attack." "You'll help her, right?" "I'll try." "Good." She erased the word and wrote more. "I felt Twilight's wings under her dress. She's an Alicorn in your world?" "In her world." I clarified. "They call her the Princess of Friendship." She smiled. "I'm glad their Equestria hasn't changed." I extended a hoof and we shook. "It was an honor to meet you. Sorry for being such a know-it-all." She shook her head. It was no problem. "Oh and, if you would, please keep this to yourself. I don't want to accidentally change this world's future." "I won't say a word." Was her written reply. She laughed, and I joined in. "Atta girl."
"Doctor, we need to jump ahead in time. Just for a little bit." I said as I swept into the Tardis. "But I don't know exactly how far. Can you hook me up to the controls so the Tardis will follow my memories?" He nodded. "Shouldn't take too long." Indeed it didn't. In a few minutes he'd wired a control helmet to the console and fitted it to my head. The ensuing whoosh was proof it worked. We landed and I ushered everyone out. Outside was chaos. As we stood on a hill overlooking New Appleloosa, the townsponies and soldiers of the Pegasus Enclave slaughtered each other. "Verdant, what is this?" The Doctor screamed at me, only partly to be heard over the cacophony. Derpy covered her eyes. "No, no, no..." I batted her hooves away and pointed up. "No! Don't look at the battle! Look up!" We all did, and at first all we could see were the massive Enclave warships crowding the sky. Then a brilliant, sickly green wave burst the clouds apart. The shooting stopped as the sun's light fell on New Appleloosa for the first time in the citizen's lives. "What was that...?" "That, Twilight, was what will soon be known as a Sonic Rad-Boom." I answered. "Rad-Boom?" The Doctor wondered. I nodded. "It's what happens when a highly irradiated pegasus performs a sonic rainboom." I turned to Derpy and poked her on her forehead. "That pegasus was you." She recoiled in disbelief. "Me? I- I can't do anything like that!" "Neither could Ditzy." I told her. "But the potential was there, like it's there in you." "What good is potential?" Derpy stubbornly asked. "We need to get back in the Tardis. The air is getting bad." We all followed the Doctor's advice, and as we did I stayed on Derpy's case. "What good is potential? Remember the creature? It was feeding on our potential." Derpy wasn't quite convinced. "Well, yeah-" "You're not getting it, are you?" I cut her off. "Potential is the entire point of the multiverse! Every action, reaction, every random shake of an electron, it's all born from potential. And in every universe where there's a you, there's the potential for a sonic rainboom- or Rad-Boom. Even if you never manage to do it, the potential's there and that makes you special. Makes you good for more than just surviving." She smiled hesitantly. "You really think so?" "I know so. And so do they." "I wouldn't have asked you to come with me, otherwise." The Doctor reminded her. "Everypony has something that makes them special." Twilight chimed in. "See what I mean?" She nodded, so I turned to the Doctor. "Doctor, take us back to the time we arrived at. We have some searching to do."
We arrived at the present/past (time travel is really confusing, especially when you're in a different universe) at night, so everyone went to sleep. By everyone I mean Twilight and Derpy, as the Doctor doesn't sleep and I am apparently an insomniac. The last 20 or so hours had been exceedingly strange, to say the least. And if they weren't the most dangerous hours of my life, then maybe it was better I didn't return to my world. I just couldn't remember. "Thank you for helping Derpy." The Doctor said, snapping me out of my ruminations. "She really needed to hear that." I gave him a half-smile. "Anytime. I think." "Still having trouble remembering things?" I nodded his way. "Well, don't worry. It'll come back to you." "I don't think it will." I told him. "What do you mean?" I sighed. "From the start, I've only been able to remember enough to manipulate the situation. I remembered Twilight's history, multiverse theory, you. Then we ran into that creature and suddenly, I can fight." "So the sight of the thing shook some memories loose." The Doctor theorized. "Maybe. I hope thet's it, that you're right." I ran a hoof through my mane. "But I'm starting to suspect that whatever pulled me to the girl's world is surpressing my memory." "You only remembered this world when you woke up, didn't you?" I nodded again. "Though whether that was because I just didn't think about it is unclear." He was silent for a moment before speaking again. "So what do you want to do?" "We'll let the girls sleep. Then, in the morning, we start kicking down doors."
I didn't think I would actually have to kick any doors, but here we were. When she woke up, Twilight suggested we search the home of an obscure pony scientist. She had read an article detailing the research this pony'd been conducting in the field of multiverse theory. Maybe, just maybe, we'd find a solution to our problem. At the very least there'd probably be a clue as to where we should go from there. That seemed sensible, so away the Tardis went. The place the scientist pony had lived turned out to be a rather secluded cabin at the foot of a mountain. It also turned out to be inhabited by two unicorns, a mare and a stallion. The occupants had seemed friendly enough, as they came outside to inspect the strange blue box that had appeared on their front lawn. Friendly and curious. That changed when they saw my cutie mark. After the mare shrieked, and the stallion noticed what she was shrieking at, they both bolted back into the cabin and barred the door. Derpy flew over to it and knocked. "Don't worry, Verdant's not as mean as he looks. Please let us in." The only answer came in the form of a gunshot. Not near any of us, it was probably aimed at the roof. The message got across, though. "Jeez." She turned to face us as we met her at the door. "What's got them so grouchy?" "My mark." She looked down at it. "Oh..." "They think we're here to hurt them, so there's no way they'll let us in. What do we do now, Twilight?" I looked sideways at her. "The data in there could be our ticket home." Twilight sighed. "Knock down the door. Hopefully, when they see that we aren't trying to kill them they'll be a little more helpful." "If they don't shoot us." The Doctor quipped. I lifted a leg. "Getting shot can't hurt more than having all my internal organs smashed." Which brings us full circle. The little wooden door flew off its hinges. I didn't know how much force I could generate from being on all fours, so I ended up using a lot more than I needed. All four of us walked in after it. "G-Get out of here!" The stallion was shakily pointing a gun at us with his magic. "Please, calm down." Twilight said, soothingly. "We don't mean you any harm. We just want to talk." He wasn't listening, though, and the gun stayed where it was. I tensed, preparing to spring at him and wrestle the pistol from his magical grip. I needn't have bothered. After a few seconds, he tossed the gun down and raised a tablet to his mouth. The mare did the same. "You'll never take us, Raiders!" "No, don't!" The Doctor was just a heartbeat quicker than I was in realizing what those tablets were. He was still too late. They bit down hard and moments later they dropped to the floor, gagging and writhing. Then they were still. From the effects, and the smell, I knew it was whatever the pony version of cyanide was called. The fact that I knew what cyanide was, and how to identify it sickened me. But even worse were the photos. A line of them decorated a nearby wall. Family shots. Pre-war, in a Stable, and finally in this cabin again, an unbroken record. The oldest included the pony Twilight had described. And in the newest, a younger version of the now-dead mare smiled at the camera. "Wha- Why would-?" Derpy sputtered. I turned to face them. "Doctor, take the girls back to the Tardis. I'll search by myself." "Do you know what you're looking for?" He asked. His eyes flicked over to the pictures, then back to me. He knew why I'd told him to do what I did, but he also didn't want miss any clues that might be here. "I do." He nodded grimly, then started to usher the others out. Still shocked by what they'd seen, they didn't protest too much. When they were gone, I walked over to a drawer and pulled it open.
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Whatever research that'd pony had been doing must've been left behind in the Stable. When I came in to tell everyone, only Derp and the Doctor were in the control room. After I filled them in, I went off to inform Twilight. I found her in her room. The door was open and I could hear sniffling. I knocked on the frame. "Oh, Verdant. You're back." "Yep." I confirmed as I entered. She was sitting on her bed, wiping the last of the tears away. "You didn't find anything, did you?" When I just looked at the floor, she continued. "So we destroyed that family for no reason." "Did the Doctor tell you?" She shook her head. "I'm more than capable of noticing pictures on a wall." "Look, Twilight, this... is a hellish place. You didn't know they'd do that." I tried to sound soothing. "You couldn't. You're unable to even think like them, because you didn't grow up in this world." "That's not why I'm sad, Verdant. Well it is, but it's not the only reason. I was thinking of my friends. I..." She stood. "I need to know. I need you to show me what happened to them. To us."
Her face was set, it was probably the gravest I'd ever seen her. In person or otherwise. "Show me what happened to us."
I shook my head. "Absolutely not."
"You showed Derpy." She took a step forward.
"That's different." I explained. "She needed to see what she was capable of."
Another step. "I need to see what happened so I can stop it in my time. I have to save my friends."
This time, I took the step. We were now face to face. "Damn it, Twilight! They aren't your friends! This isn't your Equestria! It won't ever be."
"Please." She pleaded. "I have to know. Wouldn't you?"
I could see she wasn't going to relent, so I reluctantly did. "Fine." I growled. "I'll play the Ghost of Christmas Future for you."
"Thank you." She said as we walked back to the main area of the Tardis.
I narrowed my eyes. "Don't thank me. And remember that you asked for this."
"Is the spat over?" The Doctor asked as we entered the room. We must have gotten a little loud.
"We could hear shouting, but not what you were shouting about."
"Just debating what direction we should go, Derpy." I told her. "Doctor, could you hook me back up? We have a few more stops to make."
He nodded and set to work. As he adjusted the helmet, I turned to Twilight. "Three things before we get started."
"What?" She asked.
"These things are not negotiable."
She sighed. "I get it. What are they?"
"One: I will not show you where you ended."
"Ended?" The Doctor muttered.
Twilight didn't catch it. "That's reasonable. What else?"
"Two: I will only show you your friends. Not Celestia, not your mom. Just your friends." I saw Twilight's eyes widen as she realized she had forgotten about them. "No." I insisted.
"Fine. What's the third?"
The Doctor finished his adjustments and nodded again. "All set."
"Thanks." I said, then turned back to Twilight. "Third: I don't know what happened to Rainbow Dash. No one does, and the only ones who could possibly know died over a century ago."
Twilight's eyes went to the floor. "Ok..."
"That said, who's first?"
She didn't look up. "I don't know. You decide, I can't."
The Tardis whooshed, then we arrived. I took the helmet off. Now that the Doctor had messed with it, slipping it on and off was much easier. I led the others outside.
We had landed in an overgrown apple orchard. A short distance away, I could see a squad of Rangers.
"Is this... Sweet Apple Acres?" Twilight asked. "Did Applejack die here?"
"Below us is a Stable." Was my answer. "Coincidentally, the same one Littlepip comes from."
"What are those ponies doing?" Derpy pointed at the armored Rangers.
"Never-mind them. Let's just get back in the Tardis before anyone notices us." We did, and I put the helmet back on. "Before the bombs fell, Applejack managed to reach the Stable. She had a kid and died, peacefully, a few decades later."
Twilight almost smiled. "I'm glad she wasn't hurt."
"This is the happiest ending your friends get." I told her. She nodded, as if she understood. I knew there was no way she could. "Who now?"
"Fluttershy." Was the eventual response.
We whooshed again. I stopped everyone before they left the Tardis.
"Twilight, before we go outside, we need a shield. As strong as you can make and move around."
She surrounded us in purple and we exited. The second we did, the vines attacked. "What are these things?" The Doctor asked, half curious and half mildly afraid.
"A mutation of Poison Joke." I replied. "The wastelanders call it Killing Joke, which I always took as a reference on the author's part. Come on." The shield parted the vines as we moved.
"This..." I said as we reached the tree. "This is Fluttershy."
Twilight laid a hoof on the bark. "The Joke turned her into a tree?"
"Yep."
She touched her forehead to Fluttershy. "Did it- did it hurt?"
"Probably extremely." I told her. "But don't worry, she didn't die."
Twilight's eyes brightened. "She's alive?"
"She is. She's spent the last 200 years watching as the Joke killed ponies in front of her."
"Wh-" Twilight choked.
"Verdant Spark!" Derpy practically shouted at me in shock.
"We have to help her." The Doctor insisted.
I shook my head. "No we don't. Soon the Wasteland Savior's friends will save her."
"How soon?" Twilight's eyes had begun to mist slightly.
"Relatively, very soon. Let's go."
Everyone followed me back to the Tardis, reluctantly. "Twilight, I don't think we should keep doing this." Derpy cautioned.
"I have to. Thanks, but I have to." She gave the pegasus a hug, then turned to me. "Rarity next."
A third whoosh. After the vines last time, no one rushed to the doors. Of course, Fluttertree wasn't much of a motivator to continue. I took the lead. "Come on. The room we're in should be safe."
We filed out, the Tardis making the office we'd landed in slightly cramped.
"Oh... no!" Derpy was the first to see the skeleton by the window.
The three of them approached it (or her, rather), as if in a funeral procession. When they got close, the Doctor and Derpy held off, letting Twilight be as alone with her friend as possible. She sat next to the former dressmaker, her gaze never leaving the remains. "Rarity?"
"Yes." Was the simple answer.
"We have to bury her."
"We can't."
She jerked around. "We have to-"
I shut her down. "We can't." She deflated a little and I continued. "You can't recognize it, but this is Canterlot. The site of the worst attack of the entire war."
"So that's what this pink stuff is." The Doctor said, examining the windows. "Residue from whatever weapon the Zebras used."
"Not residue." I corrected. "This is the weapon. The attack never stopped. For the last couple centuries, Canterlot and the surrounding area has been rotting under a cloud of revolting, cheerfully pink pure necromantic death. This room is one of the few places that aren't covered in it, either due to luck or sacrifice."
The Doctor was dumbfounded. "The attack is still going on? What kind of weapon could do this?"
"The kind the Zebras were confident could kill gods."
Derpy gasped. "Celestia, Luna..."
"Did they...?"
"Only your friends, Twilight." I reminded her. "Not Celestia, not your mom. You agreed."
She looked back at Rarity. "You said 'sacrifice'. You meant this room, her sacrifice."
"I did."
Twilight touched the skeleton, clearly wanting to cradle it, but she didn't dare move it from the hole it was plugging. The tears started flowing. "Why didn't she just run? What would make her stay? Would make her..."
"What would make you?" I asked, laying a hoof on her shoulder. "Who would make you?"
"My friends." She breathed.
"Your friends felt the same way."
She squeaked. "Me?"
I could understand what she meant, so I shook my head. "No, you were nowhere near Canterlot during the attack."
The knowledge that she wasn't the cause was almost kind of a relief. What I said next wasn't. "It was Fluttershy. Rarity died teleporting Angel and Fluttershy to safety."
"To safety?" She was almost inaudible.
Derpy tugged on Twilight. "Come on, let's get out of here. Let's leave, Twilight, and go find a way out of this horrible world."
"Yes. Leave." Twilight mumbled. "Pinkie Pie."
"Twilight, no." Derpy insisted. "Forget about it."
"Pinkie Pie."
"Please, Twilight, let's just-"
"Pinkie Pie!" Twilight roared in her face.
Derpy shrank back and Twilight stomped to the Tardis. Derpy followed, but the Doctor held me back.
"Are you enjoying this?" He hissed.
"Absolutely not."
He scoffed. "Really? 'Cause you certainly relished telling her that her friend died in vain."
"Relish? Is that what you saw? Well, let me tell you something. I teared up when all this was just a story! Before I met you, or Derpy, or Twilight, or any of the ponies of this world! So let go of me or I'll tell Twilight you're refusing to let me take her to her friend." We locked eyes. "The state she's in, what do you think she'll do to you? A sleeping spell, if you're lucky?"
He let go, and we joined the others. Out of respect for the sensibilities of my fellow travelers, I tried what I knew would fail. "Twilight... I told you that Applejack had the only happy ending. Are you sure you want to keep going?"
"Pinkie Pie." She responded, as if it was the only thing she knew how to say.
"Fine." I said softly, as we whooshed to the last stop on our tour. Twilight was the first out the door, no longer caring about danger.
Outside was a burned-out office, its windows blasted inwards. Twilight rounded the desk in the center of the room and noticed the statuette lying in a pile of bones. The statuette of her. "What is this?" She asked, pointing at it.
"That is one of forty or so statuettes of you and your friends. Rarity had them made, using pieces of her own soul, so that no matter how far apart the war took you, you would always be together."
"Oh, Rarity." Twilight mourned yet another sacrifice by her friend.
"It didn't work." I informed her. "As the head of the Ministry of Morale, it was Pinkie Pie's job to capture dissidents and saboteurs. To help her do that, she took mind-enhancing drugs that boosted her Pinkie Sense. Boosted it so much that she was somehow able to communicate with Littlepip, here in the future. But you didn't see how they helped her, you only saw the addiction they caused. She wouldn't stop taking them, so you cut her off. Completely. You avoided going to the same places as her and you refused to take her calls. To the very end, though, she kept trying. Her last act, apart from ordering an assault that was only minutes from saving this city, was to call you and beg that you come with her to a rehab appointment. You never got the message."
"Is that why the doll's here?"
I could tell she already knew what I was going to say, but I answered anyway. She wanted to hear it. "Yes. She was holding it when the blast hit her."
"Can I take it with me?" She started to reach for it.
"No." She stopped and look at me, confused. I grimaced slightly. "I'm sorry, but Littlepip needs that doll way more than you do. She'll fail without it."
Twilight looked back at the doll.
"You have to leave that thing here. I'm serious." I warned her. "Littlepip needs-"
"I don't care what Littlepip needs." She went for it again.
"I said NO!" I grabbed her foreleg and started dragging her back to the Tardis.
The doors closed behind Derpy and the Doctor, and Twilight collapsed against the console, sobbing. "Why would you show me that? Why..." She trailed off as another wave of tears came. Derpy knelt and hugged her tight.
"Because you asked me to. I'm going to take a nap now, wake me when the Tardis finds something important." I started walking away.
The Doctor didn't let me get too far. "That was cruel and you know it."
"Oh, of course. But it was necessary."
He spun me by the shoulder. "How could something like that possibly be necessary?"
I pushed his hoof off of me. "Because now, instead of wondering and worrying about what happened to this version of her friends, Twilight can focus on helping us all get home."
He stepped back and looked at me as if I'd slapped him. "I expected better from you." He chuckled and looked down at his hooves, smiling like he was the biggest joke in the world. "I don't know why, I don't even know you, but still..."
I'd had enough. "Guess what, Doctor? I don't care. I AM NOT YOUR COMPANION!" I gestured vaguely away from us. "And I'm not her subject, either."
"What are you, then?"
My voice caught as I turned to answer Derpy's gently asked question. They were both there, Twilight practically being carried by the pegasus. "We couldn't help but overhear." Derpy explained. Be 'we', however, she clearly meant just her, as Twilight was more or less catatonic. "So? What are you?"
"I..." The anger had run out of steam, so now I was just sad. "I'm lost. I want to go home." Then my voice became steel. "And I will do anything it takes to make that happen."
"You're a monster." Twilight whispered.
"You have no idea what a real monster even is." I snapped at her. "Consider yourself lucky that Equestia's never seen one."
Everyone was quiet after that, and a little while later we all went our separate ways.
There were no clues for the Tardis to pick up, so the silence lasted for a few days. Finally, I cornered Derpy and broke it. "How is she?"
"She's sad, Verdant." Derpy said. "You really hurt her with your little tour."
"But this isn't her world! For God's sake, we met this world's version of you, doesn't she get-?" I stopped, realizing I was just justifying. I sank into a slump against a wall. "I really am a monster, aren't I?"
She sat beside me. "No, Verdant, you're not a monster. You're just... You're hurting, too. Maybe not as deeply or openly as Twilight is right now, but it's still there." When I looked at her quizzically, she smiled and continued. "This world, it's terrible. It's awful. It's the worst thing I've ever seen, and I've seen more bad things than most ponies. But it's still recognizably Equestria. I know these places. They're a little different, but still." She took my hoof in hers. "And Twilight and I are still ponies. The Doctor' gotten used to his pony form and he's used to changing his body. You aren't. What's worse, you can't even remember who you are. You're missing a big chunk of yourself, and it's making you lash out. Making you a little mean. Does that make you a monster? No. It just means you're vulnerable, like everypony else."
I thought about that for a minute, then made a decision. "Derpy, can you go ask the others to meet me in the control room?"
She gave my hoof a pat and left.
When the three of them entered the main area of the Tardis, only one of them seemed happy to see me. Twilight's glare was generally venomous, whereas the the Doctor's eyes were narrow because he saw that I was holding the helmet.
"What are you doing, Verdant?" He demanded.
I nervously fiddled with the helmet. "I have one final thing to show you. Think of it as an apology. Or, at least, an explanation."
Before anything else could be said, I slipped the helmet on and we whooshed. No one moved when we landed.
"Come on." I said wearily. This wasn't going to be easy.
The area outside the Tardis was covered in smoke. Through the haze we could just barely make out the forms of Littlepip and her friends, collected around a giant pyre. None of them were in any shape to notice us.
"Where are we?" Twilight asked, covering her nose to block out the smell. She looked from the pyre to the bullet-ridden buildings, and then back to Littlepip and the fire. "What is this place?"
"This is, or was, the town of Arbu. And this is the morning after Littlepip massacred every adult who lived here."
Their response came as a shocked chorus. "What?"
"They were cannibals." I weakly explained.
The Doctor was furious. I had left this bit out when I spoke to him earlier. "This is your Savior? This is your hero?"
"This is the Wasteland." I reminded him. "There are no heroes. But she can still be a savior. Her actions, good, bad, or worse, can change this place into a country where there can be heroes. Where ponies can be good to each other."
They quieted and I dropped to my haunches, looking at the dirt. "But that's only if we don't screw everything up." I looked at Twilight. "That's why I was so adamant about that damn doll. We take one domino out and that's it, Littlepip fails. This place stays a hellhole."
"That's not everything, is it Verdant?" Derpy pushed.
"No, no it's not." I kicked at the dirt. "I'm sorry, all of you. You're only in this world because I was selfish, and scared, and desperate. I could've figured this out on my own, but I was in a rush. Please forgive me."
Twilight looked to the others, then back to me. "None of us hate you, Verdant. Not really. But it's too soon for forgiveness." She grinned a little, to soften the blow. "You'll just have to earn it by helping us all go home."
"All the technology of the universe and you couldn't put in some kind of inertia damper?!"
I was clutching the railing desperately as I shouted, with Derpy and Twilight barely holding on beside me. It would've been funny to see if whatever pony organs I had in me didn't feel like they were being squished into my back hooves.
The pony I was shouting at scowled at me. Then he looked back at the controls in confusion. "There should be one here somewhere..."
"Any time now, Doctor," Derpy urged.
"I know, I know." He scratched his mane with the hoof that wasn't securing him to the console. "I'm looking as fast as I can."
But before he could find it, the Tardis suddenly slowed and we all dropped.
"Well that was something," Twilight groused.
"Not my fault," The Doctor said defensively. "Verdant's the one who said we couldn't just materialize."
While Derpy could fly and Twilight simply teleported, I had to climb back up to the bridge. Being a magic-less unicorn was not helpful when it came to my mood. "One wrong move and we ruin everything, Doctor. You know this."
Despite my saying this, the idea to fly instead of whooshing everywhere was so much easier to justify a few minutes ago.
"Well, we should be fairly close to that energy signature. So there's that." The Doctor rechecked the scanner as Twilight and Derpy gathered by the door.
"Yeah, there's that," I said. Then I remembered something. "Twilight, put the dress on."
The Princess groaned. "Do I have to..?"
"Yes."
After Twilight reluctantly re-clad herself in her disguise we all ventured forth. The Tardis had seen fit to set down on a small outcropping overlooking some sort of tower which, judging from the advanced level of tech on display, must have been built during the war with the zebras. We could see ponies, who were clearly guarding the tower, moving around the base of it. The Doctor passed out some binoculars.
"Well, shit."
"What is it?" Derpy hadn't looked through her pair yet.
I jerked my head in the direction of the tower ponies. "Check out their cutie marks."
They all did just that, and to a pony they grimaced. Twilight lowered her binoculars. "Raiders."
"How do you even get a cutie mark like that?" The Doctor wondered.
"So that's it, then. There's no way we're getting in there."
"Not so fast, Twilight!" I flashed a grin at her. "I just had the best idea ever... I think."
"I don't know, Verdant..." Derp tugged at the collar around her neck. "Are you sure this'll work?"
"I am 100% mostly sure. But what I'm certainly sure about is the fact that I don't want to know why the Doctor has collars and leashes on the Tardis."
The Doctor smiled a bit as a memory resurfaced. "That Neighfertiti sure was a wild one."
"Don't want to know!" I quickly grabbed his leash in my mouth and gave it a jerk, yanking him back to the present.
"Alright, alright." He grumbled as he recovered. then he turned serious. "Awkwardness aside, this plan is ..."
"It's ridiculous, that's what it is!" Twilight pouted on the other side of the Tardis' control console.
"You're just sour because you don't get to come along."
"Exactly!" She nodded emphatically. "I'm the most powerful of us, magically. What if you need my help?"
I walked to her side and looked straight into her eyes. "You wouldn't be in a position to give it, because they'd kill you the second they found out you're an alicorn."
"Ugh, what is with this world and alicorns?! Celestia, Luna, and Cadence were alicorns!"
"Celestia and Luna were," I said softly. "I'm not so sure about Cadence."
"What?"
I turned and trotted back to the others, not wanting to get bogged down in a discussion about my personal theories. It didn't affect our current situation. "Anyway, time to get going. Cross your fingers!"
"I don't have any fingers," She reminded me.
I shrugged. "Then I guess you'll have to cross your legs."
Having successfully delivered my witty retort, I picked both of the leashes up with my mouth and led Derpy and the Doctor out.
"Don't forget," I whispered just before we reached the tower, "you have to act like you're scared of me."
Derpy coughed. "No offense, Verdant, but that won't be too hard."
"Good, now shush." Her honesty was somewhat painful, offense intended or no. Plus there was a guard, a unicorn, coming into view.
"Hey, who the buck are you?!"
Welp, here we go. I dropped the leashes and stomped a hoof over them. "Just a humble trafficker, buddy. Not here to cause a scene."
"What do you want?!" The stallion raised his gun a bit higher.
"Right now two things," I growled. "One, go ahead and point that gun somewhere else. Two, a place to stay for the night. It's getting late."
"This ain't a hotel."
I let out an exaggerated sigh and dismissively waved him away. "And I ain't interested in talking to the hired help, buddy. Why don't you go ahead and call your boss?"
"Get down on the ground!" The guard had heard enough and apparently decided the simplest solution was to just take all three of us prisoner.
Unfortunately for him, he made the same mistake just about every lowly guard seemed to make. He got close.
In a flash, I swept the gun's barrel away so it wasn't pointed at me and jabbed a hoof against his chin. While he was dazed I grabbed the stock of the rifle with my mouth and smashed it across his stunned face. Seeing him drop was totally worth the shock my teeth received.
"So... what's going on here?"
I stiffened as I heard the amused-sounding voice. Slowly, I turned to see a pony in power armor, flanked by a few Raiders, looking straight at me. His helmet was off and a brow was elegantly arched. I quickly tossed the confiscated gun away and returned his faint smile with one of my own, projecting an air of complete confidence. "I was just asking if I could talk to management. The Ranger armor's telling me that's you."
"It's good to know I'm wearing honest armor," He quipped.
"I hope it's treating you better than the last pony to put it on."
"I am the only pony who's worn it." His eyes narrowed and my breath caught in my throat, though I didn't let it show. I couldn't afford to let them see any fear, or else the pack of wolves around me would devour Derpy and the Doctor. And me, obviously.
But on the other hand, I couldn't be too bold. I had to tiptoe the line between a servant and a challenger. Without any magic, there was no way I could beat an earth pony in power armor. Plus there were a lot of guns pointed my way.
Luckily, the head pony's dangerous mood passed. He smiled again and brushed a bit of dust off. "Though that's an easy mistake to make. It's not often you see somepony like me... in this sort of company."
"No, it's not," I agreed cautiously.
"If I might ask, what brings you to my tower?"
"I'm plotting out a new trade route, and was wondering if I could make use of your lovely little tower as a way station of sorts. A place where I can rest and resupply." I stooped and gave the leashes a jerk.
As Derpy and the Doctor stumbled forward the armored pony gave them an appraising once-over. "Is this your primary commodity?"
"The only one I deal in," I replied. "Far easier to steal ponies than it is to steal guns or medicine."
"Pretty wise of you." Armor Pony nodded approvingly.
The Raider to his left gave an angry stomp. "Horseapples! You expect us to believe a unicorn's leading two slaves around without using his magic?"
"You're not too smart, are you?" I gave the critical pony my most condescending sneer. "Like I'm going to tire myself out and give them a chance to escape. No, my magic is best saved for... demonstrations of what happens if my prisoners try anything." I spun and threateningly advanced on Derpy. "How about you tell 'em about your sweet little filly?"
The combination of my sudden tone change and how quickly I was in her face caused Derpy to squeak and flinch back. Though it kind of hurt that I could bring a tear to her eyes just from that, I swiftly capitalized on her reaction. "See? That's what you want in a prisoner."
"They certainly are docile enough," Armor pony agreed, "but you killed a pegasus? I'd have thought you would get a decent amount for one, what with how rare they are in the Wasteland."
I scoffed. "For that filly? Nah. Bugger couldn't even fly. Wouldn't be worth the cost to feed."
"Well, I don't see any problems with this request. For a percentage, of course." Armor Pony extended a hoof.
I shook it. "No other way to do business, really."
Armor Pony directed his underlings to lead Derpy and the Doctor to a holding cell, and I gave as terrifying a warning as I could of what would happen if either of them were damaged in any way. The leader gave assurances while I silently prayed my friends would be ok.
There's a surprising amount of flavor a talented chef can get out of mildly irradiated vegetables. At least, that's what my host claimed.
Personally, I thought the stew in front of me needed more salt.
Armor Pony said nothing after our meal arrived, seeming content to just stare at me instead. Sure he'd take a bite now and then, but I got the feeling that inviting me here was less about being a good host and more of a way to get a read on his new business partner. If that was the case, the show I was putting on was definitely enough to convince him I was what I said I was. A boorish unicorn thug who slurped his food instead of eating in a civilized manner. This was in every way an act, and had nothing to do with the fact that I couldn't use a spoon.
"Goodness," he said as I slammed my bowl down. "I had forgotten how different etiquette could be out here, compared to what I grew up with."
I belched for effect. "Different? What, did you come outta one of them Stables or something?"
"Not exactly. Do you recognize my armor?" He gestured at himself like a showman.
"It's Pre-war, right? Could probably get a good price for it."
He frowned. "That's most likely true, though there's no Ranger alive who would part with their armor."
"So you're trying to tell me you're a Ranger or something?" I shook my head dismissively. "Buddy, everypony knows they ain't real."
"Oh?"
"Come on... It's an pony tale, it has to be. All that technology and they don't do anything with it?"
He steepled his hooves thoughtfully. "There are quite a few Rangers who feel much the same way."
"So you're serious? You're a Ranger?" I leaned forward in feigned interest. I had figured that out within seconds of seeing his armor, but there was a good chance I'd be able to learn something of his intentions. If he was the kind of pony that liked to boast.
"Indeed I am, or I was." Cliche won out again, as the Armored Pony smiled at the attention. "My colleagues and I had a disagreement over... the proper application of the machinery we'd stockpiled. They sent me into exile, confident that on my own I'd be easy pickings for the Wasteland."
I looked at the dining hall around me. "Guess that wasn't the case."
"No, it wasn't. I made my way here, subjected a local gang, and put them to work guarding the tower. They were fairly receptive once I explained my plan and killed their leader. Even started calling me Professor."
"How very original," I said with a smirk.
"Yes, well I doubt many of them know what the word means." He took a sip of his drink. "Education is severely lacking out here, as I'm sure you've noticed. Which is part of the reason I've asked you to dine with me."
"I always knew I was more than just a pretty face." I winked.
He smiled. "You are, you are. And you're also exactly the kind of pony I need around here. So consider this a formal invitation. If you ever find yourself needing work, you can come here."
"Why would I need work? This new route's gonna get me everything I could want."
His smile widened. "The Wasteland can be erratic. You never know when certain areas may become... impassable."
That sent a chill down my spine, though I didn't let it show. What did that mean? I decided not to press, as the Wasteland wasn't the only thing I'd seen behaving erratically. But before I could change the subject, he did it for me. "By the way, and this is incredibly rude of me, I don't believe I've asked for your name."
"I'm Razor Edge," I told him.
"Oh? Do you dance as well?"
A little while later I excused myself, claiming a desire to check on my merchandise. My host graciously assigned a guide and the surly Raider led me to the holding cells. I made sure to memorize the route.
The Doctor and Derpy were there, both of them, and thankfully unhurt. I shot my guide a look. "You've been very helpful. Now buzz off. I'd like some alone time, if you know what I mean."
"I was told to-"
"Look buddy," I interrupted, "I'm not interested in having spectators. You either join in or you leave. But remember; you break it, you buy it."
The Raider hesitated, and for a moment I worried he'd call my bluff. But luck was with us and he decided his wallet was too light to afford it. He closed the door behind him.
"Oh, thank God you're alright." I sat next to the bars of the cell.
The Doctor rubbed a shoulder. "Certainly took you long enough. What do we do now?"
"I'm not sure. I can't free you yet," I jerked my head toward the door as I said it, "for obvious reasons."
"I don't think I like your plan anymore, Verdant," Derpy groaned.
"Did you ever?"
"So what have you learned?" the Doctor cut in.
I shook my head in defeat. "Not much more than what I could've told you outside. Head guy's a Ranger. They're a group that kinda... hoards Pre-war technology. Although he was exiled for some reason."
"So is that what the Tardis picked up?" Derpy asked. "Something he's herding?"
"Hoarding. And yes, that does seem to be the case." The Doctor thought silently for a moment before asking, "Verdant, has he given any hints as to what this device could be?"
"He's been slightly ominous, but besides that nothing."
The Doctor sighed. "Then it looks like we're going to be stuck in this cell for a little while longer..."
"No, we're leaving tonight."
They both looked at me like I'd lost it.
"Look, guys, one of them's already witnessed me raping you. Or so he thinks." Derpy gave a small squeak as my words clicked. "It won't be long before everybody thinks you're fair game. We can't afford to stay here."
Neither of them said anything to dispute that, so I told them I'd see them tonight. I left, my leering guide trailing in my wake.
Sneaking back to the cells was easy. Way too easy. And, once I gave the sonic screwdriver back to the Doctor, actually finding the source of the energy signature was easy as well.
Seriously, the security in this place was terrible. Even if it was the middle of the night.
"So, um, what are we looking at, exactly?"
I didn't know how to answer her, as the machine Derpy was hovering in front of was like nothing I could remember seeing. It was huge. Sleek, spherical, and painted all black, it dominated the room. It was impressive, and it was definitely what the Tardis had been picking up.
But there was no way we were going to be able to smuggle something that large out of the tower, so I turned to the bank of computers that lined a nearby wall. "Not sure what it is, Derpy. Doctor, can you grab the files on these computers? We can't leave here empty-handed."
"Not a problem." He set to work, sonic screwdriver sonicing away.
I spent the few minutes it took the Doctor to download the files looking out a hole in the wall, probably an unfinished section. Everything seemed so small from up here. There was probably a lesson to be learned about perspectives in life, but I didn't have have enough time to work it out. The view was pretty, though. As pretty as a blasted landscape could be.
"Done," the Doctor announced. He held up the sonic.
"Good." I plucked it from his hooves and mouthed it over to Derpy. "Take this to Twilight. We'll follow on foot."
She nodded, asked the Doctor for the proper setting, and flew out the hole once she got it. We didn't hear any gunfire, so the outside security must have been as lax as that of the interior.
"You know," the Doctor said once we were sure Derpy would be alright, "ponies don't really have feet. Hooves." He lifted one to reinforce his point.
"I know, I know. I was a fan of the show, remember? I know all the lingo. I just... I feel like I need to keep the separation, you know? Keep reminding myself."
His mouth curled into a little smile. "Is that the reason for all the profanity?"
"Not at all. I swear because it's fucking fun." I matched his smile and we both turned.
To see the Ranger standing at the entrance. He was not smiling.
"Good evening, Mr. Edge. I would ask what you are doing in this chamber, but the fact that you're accompanied by your... 'merchandise' tells me all I need to know. You are a spy and a saboteur."
"Yeah, let's go with that," I muttered.
He continued his rant, either not hearing me or not caring. "To think I had high hopes about our partnership. Well it doesn't matter who you work for! My machine is complete, and soon it will be I who decides where ponies can live in the Wasteland! Ponies will pay dearly for the privilege of not having their homes bathed in radiation! I-"
Two hits. My hoof hit his face, he hit the floor. I turned back to the Doctor. "Who does he think he is, Lex Luthor?"
"I'm not sure I know who that is," the Doctor replied as he trotted over to the sphere. "What I do know, however, is that we have to destroy whatever this is."
"No argument here."
He again set to work, and for a while there was only silence between us. Then he spoke up again. "You said you knew about my past."
"Some stuff, yeah." I was fairly sure I knew where this was going.
"Am I... Do you think I'm..."
"A bad guy?" I pointed to the prone Ranger. "Like douchebag here?"
He was quiet again, which I took as a yes.
"Your past defines you, Doctor. All those lives you've ended. All those people you've failed to save. All those Companions who would, and have, sacrificed themselves for you." He winced. I grinned. "All those times when you were the only one standing up against tyrants and murderers."
He blinked at that. "What?"
I facepalmed. "It doesn't matter if you fail. Well it does, 'cause people die. But you try. That's the thing, you always at least try to do the right thing. Even if it's hard or ends up killing you. Screw your self-loathing. Screw the Silence. That makes you a hero, you idiot."
"I thought there weren't any heroes in the Wasteland."
"You aren't from here, remember?"
"Thank you," he whispered, staring at the panel he'd been replacing.
"No problem." I looked over his shoulder. "So now that your little crisis of confidence is over, are you almost done? 'Cause I'd really like to leave before anybody else realizes what we're doing."
He stood. "Yep. I've set it so the heating system will feed back in on itself. In a few minutes it'll be slag."
"And no one will get hurt in the process. See?"
"Alright, I get it." He started for the door. "Let's go."
"I'll catch up. I just have to tie this guy up so he doesn't raise an alarm when he wakes up."
"Okay, just hurry up." Then the Doctor was gone.
I looked down at the Ranger in disgust. It was his fault the Wasteland was the way it was, even more so than the Raiders he had bullied into following him. They were purely driven by id, giving no thought to any consequences. He had a plan, a goal. Ponies like him were why there was so much pain here. Why there could be no heroes. Why Littlepip had to suffer, and lose, and kill. Why she would give up everything she was.
Littlepip never went up against this shit, and her friends would never have to. Strapped to the Ranger's armor was a small knife. I grabbed it with my teeth and pulled it out. No witty one-liner, just a single slash and it was done.
The Doctor was a hero. I, it seemed to be turning out, was not.
Twilight met me as I made it back to the Tardis. "Hey, took you long enough. We were starting to get worried."
"I had to go a different way than the Doctor."
"Speaking of, he's having the Tardis scan for another signal." She tilted her head towards the time machine.
I sighed. "No luck on the files we pulled?"
"Unfortunately, there was nothing that could help us." Her eyes lit up in excitement, and she started talking faster. Anything science-related was sure to intrigue her. "No theories on dimensional travel or parallel universes, but there were some ideas for some sort of superweapon that, with some modifications, could be applied in other fields of-"
She stopped suddenly and pointed at one of my forelegs. "Is that yours?"
I looked down and immediately saw what she was asking about. It would've been hard to not, as the blood almost looked purple against my green fur. Didn't exactly blend with my color scheme.
"No." I didn't bother lying. There was no way she would've believed me.
"Damn it, Verdant!" She shouted, borrowing one of my phrases so that she wouldn't have to profane her teacher. "You're supposed to be redeeming yourself! You're supposed to be proving you're not a monster!"
"That superweapon was not theoretical! He was going to use it and bring even more suffering to this fucking place!"
Her wings flared in anger. "So you destroy the weapon!"
"We did! But that wouldn't stop him, he still had an army of Raiders! It was him or the innocents!"
"So you just killed him?!" She scoffed. "It doesn't even bother you, does it?"
I opened my mouth, but no sound managed to come out. A life, even one as worthless as the Ranger's, was still a life.
Twilight saw my hesitation and her expression softened. But it was only for a moment. "I can't even talk to you right now. Just- just get inside. Wipe yourself off before Derpy sees you."
I did so and followed her through the door. We were greeted by a beeping sound and that of the Doctor cackling in excitement.
Derpy noticed our entrance and flew over. "The Doctor just picked up another energy signa-cha-whatsit!"
"Where's it coming from?" Twilight trotted over to stand by the Doctor. The fact that she was pointedly not looking at me was just fine. I didn't care at the moment. About anything.
"The Tardis has pinpointed the point of origin as... Fillydelphia."
That snatched my attention. "Fillydelphia?"
The Doctor nodded. "That's what it says."
"We should ignore it."
They all looked at me like I was crazy, and in all honesty it was insanity to pass up our (at the moment) only lead. Twilight got in my face immediately. "What's going on in Fillydelphia, Verdant? What do you not want us to know about?"
"If I didn't want you to know about something, why would I tell you about it?"
The Princess pushed pushed me up against the console and screamed, "Because if you don't, then by Celestia I'm going to hurt you!"
"I've already been hurt," I said with a smirk. "Pretty badly, in fact. So if you happen to have another stasis pod handy, or if you're willing to put the Doctor at risk again, then go ahead. Be my guest."
She let me go. "Not physically." Such a reasonable voice. "I'm going to hurt you emotionally."
"How?" I dusted myself off as I countered her threat. "I can barely remember anything about my past."
"Are you doubting my ability to figure something out?"
I shook my head. "No. I'm doubting your willingness."
"Since I met you, you've been putting me through the worst experiences of my life." Her voice lowered to a whisper. "Try me."
"Twilight, I'm sure Verdant has a good reason he doesn't want us to go to Filly." To back up her supportive words, Derpy moved to stand by me.
I saw Twilight's eyes flick towards the pegasus, then back to me. She smiled.
I knew what she was thinking. Derpy was the only one who was more or less okay with me. Who tried to be understanding. Who was willing to give me the benefit of the doubt.
That would probably end if she found out what I'd done.
"Fine. You can see it for yourself."
Once again we stood overlooking the worst of ponykind. The Tardis had a knack for picking the most picturesque of views.
Derpy gasped as she saw the misery. "How could anypony do this?"
"How could they not? Give anybody absolute power and they'll almost certainly abuse it. My world's history is proof enough of that."
"It's not exactly fair," Twilight interjected, "to compare ponies to your humans."
I turned to face her. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"This place is a story in your world. One you read for fun!" She gestured in the direction of the slave pits as she spoke.
"We don't read it for the RAIDERS, Twilight! We read it for LITTLEPIP! We read it in the hope that there's something BETTER we can aspire to! That we can stumble, and make mistakes, and still be worthy of the life we've been given!"
"Enough!" The Doctor pushed us apart. "Whatever problems you two have with each other, they don't matter right now. All that matters is getting back to Equestria. The one that isn't a death trap."
Twilight looked away. "Fine."
"Fine," I echoed.
"Good." The Doctor threw a leg over my shoulders and led me a bit closer to the city. "Now, judging by your reluctance to allow us to come here, I take it this is one of the places Littlepip visits?"
"Yeah."
"What can you tell us about it?" he asked.
I shrugged. "It's what it looks like, really. They use slaves for labor and when they get bored they make them fight to the death. Place is guarded by an army of- wait."
"What is it, Verdant?" Derpy stepped up beside me and squinted at the city, trying to see what had given me pause.
"It just seems like the security isn't as tight as it was made out to be in the book. But, why would they increase security before..." I shook my head. "Never mind, it's not important. Let's go."
I led the way to the city. Once we got about halfway, I stopped and turned to the others. "Alright, from here on out keep your eyes peeled. The boss of this place has a bunch of griffin guards."
A shove, and Twilight, Derpy, the Doctor, and I suddenly found ourselves in the presence of the red-and-black warlord of the Wasteland, who was sitting at his desk. On his left was, I assumed, his right hand griffin.
He affected a slight smile at our less than graceful entrance. "I would say 'welcome', but that seems inappropriate- seeing as you four are trespassers. Never the less, I shall introduce myself. My name is Red Eye, and this is Stern."
"Uglier than I imagined..." I muttered under my breath.
"What did you say?!" Stern demanded, rising to my bait.
"I didn't say anything."
Her eyes narrowed. "I heard you."
"Are you sure? You might be hearing things." I gestured vaguely towards the outside. "Like maybe a mouse in a field somewhere."
"Wow. Racist, much?" Stern fumed.
"I'm not racist, I just hate evil people."
"We're not evil, not really," Red Eye interjected. "If you knew what we are trying to accomplish-"
"Oh, I do know. And I still find you despicable."
"Who told you our plans?" Red Eyes demanded.
"You did."
"What?"
"What?" I parroted.
Red Eye didn't find it amusing. "That is really irritating."
"Your face is irritating," I asserted.
Red Eye groaned in exasperation. "And so mature..."
"Your face is mature," I shot back, cleverly.
"Verdant!" Derpy hissed. "What are you doing?!"
I smirked, throwing every ounce of asininity I could muster at the pony behind the desk, then nonchalantly answered her. "Jim Butcher rule number one: always snark at anybody holding you captive, as much as you can."
"That's fine in theory, but this is reality and we aren't exactly in what you'd call a favorable position," the Doctor said, pointing toward the armed guards at the door.
"I find myself agreeing with your friend... Verdant, was it? Such a stratagem would only have merit if you had some chance of escape. Which you don't."
"Oh, but we do," I countered in a voice that was meant to sound spooky, but probably just came off as aggravating. Which was the point.
"Really? Do tell."
I shook my head. "I can't tell you, it's a surprise. You're gonna be really pissed when it happens, though."
"Am I now?" He arched a brow.
"Yep. Positively livid."
Red Eye tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Perhaps I should just have you shot, then, before that happens. Save me some stress."
"Anytime now, Twilight," I urged.
"Huh? Oh!" Twilight's horn glowed and we were gone before the guards could raise their guns.
We popped back into being somewhere in the open air portion of the compound.
"You could've clued me in sooner!" Twilight sputtered.
"Oh yeah, that makes sense. 'Hey Twilight, get ready to teleport us away. Don't tell that Red Eye bastard, though. He's not supposed to know'." I snorted and turned to the Doctor. "Start scanning for the source of that energy signature. We don't have long before they trigger the alarm."
The Doctor nodded and whipped out his sonic. While he waved the buzzing screwdriver around I kept an eye out for any roving guard patrols, assuming Twilight and Derpy were doing the same. The waiting was almost unbearable, though I knew only moments were passing.
Then the sonic screwdriver chirped and we all headed in the direction it was indicating, not getting more than twenty or thirty feet before the city's sirens started blaring. We crouched low, and slowed to a more surreptitious speed, but beyond that we didn't pay them much heed.
"This is it," the Doctor said as the four of us came to a small storage shed. "Whatever it is, it's in here."
"Can you teleport us inside, Twilight?"
"Make sure you check for wards first," I cautioned, adding my two cents to Derpy's question.
Twilight frowned at me as her horn lit up, casting an all-too-bright glow. "I'm aware of the dangers of warding spells, thank you. There doesn't seem to be any, though... So, to answer your question Derpy, yes. Yes I can."
"I guess that makes sense. Red Eye always seems to be forgetting what ponies with horns can do. Just like he does latter with Littlepip."
Maybe a little less comparing fact with your fiction, eh?" The Doctor looked around nervously. "They're bound to have started a sweep for us."
"Yeah... Alright Twilight, do it."
Another flash and we were in. By now, all of our eyes were used to quickly transitioning to and from extremely bright light, but the same could not be said for the lone guard that stood in the middle of the room. He blinked and rubbed them to try to clear the spots out of his vision. Before the earth pony had a chance to, though, a swift straight right solved that problem for him. And my problem of his being conscious.
"That was kind of harsh, don't you think?"
"I'm sorry, Twilight. Next time I'll knock him out gently," I sneered. I actually could, but she didn't really need to know that.
Twilight stomped in frustration. "Why do you have to be so-"
"Um, excuse me?" the Doctor interrupted. When we turned toward him, he was holding up a softball-sized, pure black sphere of some kind. "I found the source of the signature."
"What is it?" I asked, reminded that now was not the time to get into it with the Princess.
"I'm not quite sure, really. Never seen anything like it. Oh, it's always so exciting when I get to say that!"
Derpy groaned. "Doctor, maybe we should wait until we make it back to the Tardis before we get too excited."
As if to punctuate her concerns, the door flew open and a squad of Red Eye's guards stormed in. Just as they were leveling their guns the world flashed, and I was suddenly looking at them from the other side. All four of us bolted, Derpy carrying the sphere as she flew.
"Really?!" I shouted at Twilight. "Right behind them?!"
"I panicked, alright?!"
"Fire!" I heard a gruff voice command.
A flaming streak passed me and hit a wall up ahead. Before I even had time to react, the concussive force reached us and everything went black.
I jerked back into consciousness, my mind sluggishly racing to remember who and where I was, as well as what was happening. There was something important going on, but for the life of me I couldn't put a finger on it. I lifted a hoof to try and massage the throbbing in my temple away.
Wait, hoof? Why did I have hooves?
Then it all came flooding back. A bunch of murderous pony assholes were after me, and Twilight, and Derpy, and the Doctor. I looked around and found them all sprawled out beside me. Another quick glance confirmed that a group of guards were jogging our way. The blast must've only knocked me out for a second or two.
I hauled myself to a vertical position and tried to shake my nearby pegasus friend awake. "Get up, Derpy. Come on, we gotta go. Derpy! Derpy, get up!"
She didn't so much as stir. A nasty gash was bleeding freely on the side of her head, and when I saw it I cursed. A bit of wall had to have hit her. She wasn't getting up anytime soon.
I wrapped my forelegs around on of hers and tried to load her onto my back, but my stupid, useless hooves slipped and I fell backwards. The guards were getting closer.
"Twilight, get up! Doctor!" I tried again to lift Derpy, only to fail once more. "Get up! Help me!"
It was no use. They weren't waking up. I couldn't grab anything with these hooves, and even if I could I wouldn't be able to drag all three of them. I needed a miracle.
I needed magic.
Closing my eyes, I focused everything I had on wrapping the others in my power, like Twilight had shown me with the rock. Beads of sweat formed on my forehead and I felt my horn warm slightly. I opened my eyes hopefully.
And saw nothing. Not even a hint of my pink aura.
"God Damn It!" I screamed. "I'm not going to die here because I can't do simple magic! I!" I punched the ground with a hoof. "Am!" Another strike. "A!" A third. "Unicorn!"
I heard a snap beside me.
"You're a dead unicorn, you bastard," an unfamiliar voice growled. I turned and saw the group of guards arrive. Multiple safeties clicked off. I raised a hoof lamely to protect myself from the hail of bullets about to be unleashed. No, no, no, no, no, no,! Everything went pure white, and I thought that was it.
Then I blinked.
Some of the white went away, so I blinked some more. Eventually, my vision came back and I saw the dome of bubblegum interposed between the guards and my team.
"Ha! Magic shield, you jerks!" I crowed.
Reveling in my accomplishment, I set to waking the Princess up. Luckily, Twilight was simply a deep sleeper, and not more seriously injured like Derpy. With a scowl at the angry-looking ponies outside my shield, all of whom bolted when the rags of her dress fell away and revealed that she had wings as well as a horn, the Princess teleported everypony to the Tardis.
The Doctor was equally easy to revive and, since he actually had some medical knowledge, he went right to work on Derpy. A few bandages, some smelling salts, and an examination later, he declared that she would be fine shortly.
I sighed in relief. "Oh, thank Celestia."
"What?"
I turned to the Princess, her head was tilted quizzically, and a look around showed me that the other two seemed to be similarly confused. "What's wrong, everypony?"
"Are you... are you ok, Verdant?" Derpy asked.
"This from the mare with the bandages..." I flashed a smile, but it went away when nopony returned it. My chest felt a little tight.
"You said 'thank Celestia'."
"Yeah, so? It's a pretty common saying, Derpy." I replied. Why couldn't I breathe properly, and why did it feel like I had something in my throat? My eyes blurred.
"Wait a minute, Derpy's right," the Doctor agreed. "Don't you mean 'thank God'?"
I started hyperventilating. "I just- I- I think I need to-"
"Verdant, what's the matter?" Twilight's voice was full of concern, never mind her problems with my... previous behavior.
I lurched away, rushing to the comfort of my quarters, and when I got there I collapsed onto my bed, hoof over my heart. It hurt. I winced and asked myself, "Who's God...?"
It wasn't hard to guess who it was. "Derpy? Why...?"
"You were crying in your sleep, Verdant," she said simply.
I sat up, shedding her comfort. I didn't deserve it, not with all that I'd done. I couldn't even face her as I mumbled, "I... I did something, Derpy. Something terrible."
"I know."
I whipped my head around in surprise. She just smiled patiently at me and took hold of one of my hooves, lifting it. She gingerly rotated it and pointed out the obvious. "You missed a spot."
"The pony back at the tower," I explained, or tried to. "He was going to hurt a lot of other ponies, so I... I ki-"
"You did what you thought was the right thing," she finished for me.
I sniffled. "Twilight's right. I'm a m-monster."
"No..." Derpy pressed a hoof to my cheek. "Hey, you were just doing your best. There are no heroes in the Wasteland, remember? You said that."
I shoved her hoof away. "A monster said that! Go away! Just- just go! Leave me alone."
Derpy slunk towards the door, and I almost didn't see the hurt look on her face as she did so.
I stayed in my room for some time, but eventually a nagging sense of guilt over hurting Derpy's feelings forced me out. Trying to stay unnoticed and inconspicuous, I crept through the halls as stealthily as I could.
I only made it a few steps before I heard a throat being cleared behind me.
"You realize she's only trying to help, right?" Twilight demanded as I turned around.
"I do, Your Highness," I replied glumly. "I really do. I just..."
Twilight's eyes narrowed. "'Your-' What is wrong with you? Come on, the Doctor and I are going to get to the bottom of this."
She shouldered past me and, after a moment's hesitation, I followed.
The Doctor was in the control room, as per usual, and at the moment he had his head and most of his front half buried in an exposed access panel. Derpy sat nearby, hoofing him tools and parts when he asked for them. Our approaching hoofbeats caused him to pull himself out of the wall. "Ah, you're awake. You had us worried, running away like that."
"I'm sorry," I murmured.
"He's been acting weird since-"
"I'm a little thirsty," the Doctor interrupted. "Could you pass me that cup over there?"
I shrugged, and absentmindedly levitated the indicated cup over to him.
He didn't take it. Instead, he stared intently at the aura surrounding the cup, and at my horn. "Interesting. That's very interesting."
"Uh, what is?" I asked.
"Two days ago, you could barely even get your horn to light up." The Doctor produced his sonic screwdriver and quickly scanned me, checking the results as he continued, "Now you don't even need to think about it."
I gaped as I realized he had a point. "You- You're right... Why couldn't I use my magic?"
"Hmm... No changes to your physically makeup or brain chemistry. Tell me, what's the first thing you remember?" he prodded.
"I, um, I woke up in the forest, then I saw the Princess and her friend, and I called them over so I could ask for help. I said... human? What's a human?"
"So you remember claiming to be human, but not what that means?" Twilight took over the cross-examination as the Doctor performed a few more tests, each involving some strange item seemingly pulled out of thin air. "What about this world? How much do you remember about where we are?"
I wracked my brain for the memories, but every one felt strangely disassociated. "I went into the pod and when I woke up again... Oh Celestia, what is this world? What have we done?!"
"What about Littlepip?" Twilight pressed.
"I remember saying the name."
"It looks like he's forgotten everything prior to his arrival in Equestria. The other one, I mean," Twilight pronounced. "And I guess he can use magic as a result."
The Doctor frowned. "As useful as the extra spellslinger is, if that's really the case then we've lost our guide for getting around this Equestria."
"Um, Doctor? One of the lights on your control-thingy is blinking," Derpy alerted, warily watching said light.
He bounded over. "Ah, that. I was tired of hearing the scanner beep every time it detected something, so I muted it."
"And if Derpy hadn't been looking at the console right then?"
"Give me some credit, Twilight. I would've seen it... eventually." The Doctor flipped a few switches, pointedly ignoring Twilight's disapproving gaze. "Okay, this one's coming from a place called Maripony. Does that ring any bells, Verdant?"
"No, sorry. I feel like it should, but I just can't remember. I'm so stupid and useless, I-" I spotted a certain stain. "Oh, I've got blood on my hooves..."
"Well regardless, we don't really have much of a choice. The last stop was something of a bust," Twilight decided.
"Alright. We're on our way."
The Doctor threw the Tardis into a short flight and, after it shuddered to a stop, cantered out the door, with Twilight close behind him. When I hesitated to follow. Derpy laid a comforting hoof on my shoulder. I nodded gratefully and together we left the Tardis.
I only made it a few steps before the claws came for me.
A muted growl from beneath the ground was the only warning I received, and my confused turn towards the sound was the only reason my head kept its place on my shoulders. A nail slashed along my cheek, tipping me off-balance. I toppled to the dirt.
The creature's arc brought it down to the ground again, and it disappeared in a hail of sand and loose stones. Derpy knelt by my side and cried, “Verdant, are you okay?”
“What in Celestia's name was that?” My face burned where the thing's claw had found its mark. I could feel a liquid warmth.
“What's going on?” Princess Twilight demanded as both she and the Doctor rejoined us. “What was that noise?”
“There- There's something underground! Oh, it hurts.”
“Hold on, I've got something for that.” The Doctor produced an adhesive patch and applied it.
A furry hand grabbed hold of the princess' forehooves and started to drag her back the way it had come, but a quick beam shot freed the alicorn enough for her to lift off. Circling back around, she said, “We have to get higher so whatever it is can't get us! Come on, Derpy!”
Twilight wrapped her hooves around the Doctor and picked him up, while Derpy did the same for me. We went airborne just in time to dodge another leaping attack from the beast. Finally, I could see it clearly.
The thing was a hulking lump of matted black fur and muscles. Seemingly bipedal, it sported nothing but a ragged vest. Its open muzzle revealed a set of overly-sharp teeth.
“Is... Is that a Diamond Dog?”
Derpy shot a quick look back at the monster, who was standing above ground, tracking our flight. “It can't be. Diamond Dogs may not be the cutest creatures in Equestria, but I don't think they've ever been that mean-looking.”
“Don't dismiss it so fast,” the Doctor told her as the winged ponies slowed to a stop. We were high enough that we could safely plan our next step, but more of the Dogs popped up beside the first one. “The Diamond Dogs we're familiar with would've spent the last couple centuries bathed in the fallout of those god-killing bombs. Some mutation is to be expected.”
“They're blocking our way to that Maripony place. How are we supposed to get there now?” I asked.
“Probably the same way we got away from them in the first place,” Twilight quipped.
“Oh. Oh, yeah.” I grinned sheepishly. “Sorry, Your Highness.”
“Can you... Can you stop that? It's getting a little weird.”
Even more of the Dogs arrived before I could apologize again. A loud ker-chak told us exactly what they'd brought with them. Derpy blanched. “They have guns?!”
“Shields, shields, shield!” the Doctor yelped.
A purple glow flared to life and intercepted the storm of lead, though the extra effort was wearing on Princess Twilight. Little beads of sweat trickled down from her brow, and she sank lower. I opened my mouth to ask if she needed some help.
Then a ball of flame smashed against the shield.
Concussive force shattered the princess' magic and threw the four of us down to the rocks. We landed hard. Slowly, painfully, I rose. I was the only one who did so, the others stayed sprawled out.
“Derpy! Derpy, are you alright?” I wheezed, desperately checking for any signs of injury.
There were none, thankfully. She was breathing evenly and more or less intact, as were the Doctor and Princess Twilight. “Thank Celestia,” I said under my breath. My friends were okay. We were okay.
“Poooonnnyy!”
I spun around at the screech and saw one of the dogs bounding towards us. In seconds, it closed what little distance there had been. The beast leapt, claws aimed at my throat. I quickly lit up my horn and sent an unfocused mass of magic its way. The beam caught the Dog full in the chest.
The Dog recovered almost immediately, rolling to its paws and scrabbling after me again. But this time I was ready for it. A shield of my own blazed into being. It was rougher than the princess', not as pretty or perfect, but it did its job. The Dog pounded futilely on the pink hemisphere.
I'm not sure how long I held the shield against the monster. It couldn't have been more than a few minutes or so, but adrenaline has a way of turning seconds into ages. Regardless there was enough time for more Dogs to show up before my friends began to stir.
At the same moment, some of the Dogs stopped banging on the shield and let out a fearful whine. The lot of them bolted as Derpy raised her head. “What..? Verdant, did you make this shield? Why are they running?”
I gulped and pointed the reason out to her, having just caught sight of it myself. It was a sight both familiar, and yet strange in execution. There were four of them, each a different color, and they all sported wings and horns.