Fallout Equestria: Super-ish friends

by metuf

First published

My friends and I take a super-powered trip to the Equestrian Wasteland.

So sit right back and hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip. Started in this secret lab aboard this iron ship. A bit of advice though, if your friend asks you to join them on a trip to a secret lab, don't accept, or you may find yourself a permanent resident of... Fallout Equestria(dun dun DUN dun)! It happened to me and my friends once. Perhaps you would like to hear the story? Pull up a chair and read on!

Special Thanks to my editor and proofreader Fieeesh

Chapter 1: In the Beginning...

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"Come on, guys!" said Tris, with a sense of urgency in his voice. He usually was more relaxed than this, but for reasons unknown to the rest of the group he was stressed. In fact, he told us nothing about our business here near this what looked to be secret laboratory. Jared, the one who wanted to be there the least, said,

"Tris, what the hell are we doing here, at night, with enough gear to break into the White House? You said we were just going to your house to play DND , and now you dragged us to this place."

"Come on, Jared, maybe this will be fun," Connor said with a bit of wonderment. He didn't know what to make of the situation, so he tried to make the most of it. He turned back and said, " Casey, Kyle, keep up!"

"But I'm a dragon!" said Casey. He wasn't a real dragon, but after one DND session where he played a dragon, that became his catch-phrase since.

"Screw you, because unlike you, I have allergies," Kyle said angrily, and rightly so. He was allergic to all types of trees, grasses, pretty much the outdoors in general.

A guard passed by the fence we were near, not seeing them. They quickly cut through the barbed wire fence and headed toward the entrance. the door was locked by a key card system. When a guard passed by, Tris, using skills he got from Skyrim, successfully pick pocketed the guard's key card. Using that to gain access to the lab, they entered silently.

After a series of sneaky-beaky ninja moves, the group came upon a lab labeled, " Room 4839 Do Not Enter!" Tris merely crossed out the "Do Not" and entered. The rest of the group followed in suit, walking in to see a portal similar in appearance to a Stargate. Tris inputted
a string of numbers and letters, flipped a switch, and the portal turned on. Everyone was taken aback at it's activation except for Tris, who ran into it as if he did this every day at noon. After a moment to steel themselves, unable to leave there friend in the unknown, Connor finally ran through, followed by Casey, Jared, and then Kyle.

What happened next was a phenomenon human language may never be able to describe. Not because of any horrible experience, far from it, but because it was being nothing, yet having full conscience and feeling. Some say it's dying before the devil knows it yet, others call it Limbo, some say it's like when you get up from being on the toilet for a while and you can't feel your anything. Many say it's all of the above, however some still say it's none of them. However you'd describe this sensation, they felt it, nearing their destination.

Connor, finally gaining awareness of his surroundings, found himself underwater. Fearing he would drown, he quickly swam frantically to the surface and clamored to shore. There, he rejoined Tris, who looked as if he had received the biggest let-down of his life. Connor then asked Tris,

"Tris, what did you do, and where are we?

He replied, " I tried to send us to Equestria, so we could have an adventure or something, but something went wrong. As you can see, this isn't the Equestria I wanted." An odd noise and Casey screaming was soon heard, followed by a splash. This was when Connor noticed that the water was a muddy brown and, after looking around, there wasn't a green plant in sight. It was then that Casey pulled himself out of the water, his skin looking more coarse. Jared and Kyle soon appeared, feeling different in some way. Even Tris had some difference about him. Once everyone regrouped themselves, Kyle was the first to say, with a cold voice,

"What the actual **** happened and where the hell are we?"

"We are in Equestria," said Tris, somewhat unhappy by the turn of events," but not as you know it." Jared groaned at the word "Equestria" and was certainly not amused. He wasn't a fan of hearing Tris talking about Equestria, but actually being there was worse. Anyone there felt a small static shock when Jared received the message. He said with an almost loathing voice,

"Goddamnit Tris, not this pony ****. You made us listen to your ****, but that wasn't enough, was it? You had to drag us into it, and for what? Tell me?!"

"I didn't think this would happen," Tris said, with daggers in his eyes at Jared, "I just thought it could be fun. Also, technically we're in a nuclear fallout version of Equestria, not the real thing."

This satisfied Jared, as he is a fan of the Fallout games and knows that Tris meant that. What no one accounted for is that shadows hide all manners of evil , and such a shadow was near them, silent and ready. Our heroes paid no mind to this and kept chatting amongst each other plans for now and the future.

"We should look for civilization," said Connor, in an energized disposition,"someplace that we may be less likely to be shot. Let's see, isn't Manehattan a nice place?"

"It's a place that may be nicer to us than here," said Tris,"but I don't know where we are or in what direction we need to go."

The shadow is now empty, and the evil has now slinked closer to its prey, our heroes still have yet to take notice. It prepares itself for an assault at the right moment. If it fails, and misses the prime opportunity, it will starve for two weeks in a row. It cannot afford defeat.

"So it's settled," said Casey, with an oddly steamy breath, "to Manehattan!" "Where is Manehattan?"

Behind Kyle came the cocking of a gun. The evil had grabbed him by the neck and pointed a pistol at him. It spoke with a voice that gave the impression of a 2nd grader attempting to act tough.

"Give me all of your stuff! You're all getting mugged!"

Chapter 2: The Sixth

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"I ain't kiddin'," said an evil that had Kyle by the neck from behind, "you give me all you own, or I'll blow his brains out!"

Upon this, it was revealed who their assailant was. Once discovered, each of the party had their own range of views, from joy to irritation to derpiness. The mugger was blue in coloration with black highlights and marks that would tell of failed robbery attempts. Its presence told that Tris' words on their location reign true. The thief was an earth pony, and they legitimately were in Equestria.

"Sweet Mother Teresa on the hood of a Mercedes-Benz, its a pony!!!!!" said Tris, who couldn't be happier at this moment. All of his life had led to this. Although Tris was filled with such joy, others, Jared and Kyle to name a few, were less so.

"Yeah, whoop-di-do, now let's waste it!" said Kyle, who is still being held hostage by this marauder. He made use of his knowledge of sign language to show his hatred toward the mugger, who was appalled to say the least. The pony made to hit Kyle with the butt of his pistol to quell his resistance, however, the pistol merely swung through the air. Kyle had somehow escaped into nothingness.

"What?! Where did he go?" the equestrian inquired," Eat lead!" Upon this exclamation, he unloaded his 10mm pistol toward Connor. It was through instinct he raised his hands in a futile attempt to halt the bullets. He closed his eyes to shield himself from his fate. He awoke because he heard a blast, but instead of seeing the pearly gates, he saw his would-be killer and his comrades alike in awe. He once more extended his hand and, to his amazement fired a beam of light. He then smiled confidently and turned his head to the robber.

With his safety as the top priority, the thief attempted to bolt as fast as his hooves could carry him. Trying to stop him, Tris flung out his hand in a flick, from which a knife materialized and became wedged in a tree near the pony's neck. Jared added to his terror by, through no known reason, his appendages becoming electrically charged.

The once terrifying highwayman found the tables turned, his prey now cornering him. As he was backed against a wall, he noticed one was missing. Of all the things he thought would happen in his "last" moment, the thought of someone phasing through the tree and performing a choke-slam on him, did not come to mind.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you," said Kyle in the toughest voice he could muster. He was used to threatening others, but no one took him as seriously as this cornered conniver. He attempted to bargain for his life frantically. He could only think of one valid point in time.

"I provide racial diversity to the team!" Upon blurting this, he immediately covered his mouth with his hooves. He wasn't wrong though, as Kyle and the rest of our heroes were all white upper-middle class teenage boys who went to private school at one point or another. This was reason enough for Kyle as he then released him.

Kyle then turned to the rest of the group and triumphantly inquired," Guys, did you see that RKO?"

"Sure, but look at the flick of that wrist," Tris chimed in. Following that music played. The song was from which contained the line " look at the flick of that wrist *whoop*" Turns out the music originated from and was being produced by Connor, who so far can fire lasers and play songs. After being too quiet, everyone began to worry about Casey. He seemed to undergo a metamorphoses into a 6'7 dragon with black scales. His phrase 'but I'm a dragon' has never been more true. Jared has dominion over lightning and other electrically based devices. Tris is able to materialize weapons and alter physics to that of a video game. Finally, Kyle boasts the ability to phase through solid matter and can control the frozen elements to his will.

After this was established, everything was cool. For some pre-established reason, everyone sat in a circle and began introducing themselves. It was similar to a support group in that after each name, everyone said hello in a monotone voice.

"Hi, I'm Casey..." said Casey, of course.

"Hi Casey," said everyone else.

"And I'm a dragon."

Everyone waited to see if he would say something else, but he didn't. The rest of the introductions went in a similar fashion to Casey's. The exception being Kyle, for when he told everyone his name, no one but the pony said hello. Everyone else brandished their middle fingers and yelled,

"F*** you, Kyle!"