Ponies. They're alright, but still, they have their problems. Like how they run around like headless chickens at the slightest provocation. And how they jump to conclusions. Scales has to go through this. He's a Human in Equestria(original, right?), but he's not a pony. Not a zebra, a griffin or even a diamond dog. No. He's a dragon. And nobody lets him forget it.
This is my first fan-fic, so don't be too hard if it's a little bad, but don't be too nice either. I'll try to update chapters quickly.
What Happened?
I was staring at black. Dark. Nothing more. I was in a closed space, and to be honest, I was a little confused. As often happens to me, I found myself talking to myself.
"Okay... So I'm stuck inside somewhere in an unknown place. First thing's first, what happened?"
A quick memory scan revealed what little I knew about my current location. The last thing I remembered before this was me lying down in bed and going to sleep.
"A dream?" I said to myself. "It's a probability. Feels a little too real for a dream though. If it is a dream... not bad. Hope I don't wake up too soon. Better check if I can get out of here."
I felt out with both arms, touching walls of a rough texture at about an arm's length away. Obviously, I couldn't stay in there for long, so I set about thinking for a way out.
"Hmmm... Ceiling goes about a palm length from my head. Maybe I can just bust outta here. Worth a try.", I said as I prepared to knock a good me-sized hole in that wall.
I wound up as far as I could, and realized halfway before my fist connected: 'Hold the phone. I can't punch holes in walls!'
I quickly un-fisted my hand and tried to stop the motion, but it was too late. My open palm smacked against the surface. *CRACK*
My jaw practically dropped at what I had just done.
"Holy pickles...", I said quietly as I stepped slowly out of my prison. I had busted a huge hole in the wall like it was nothing.
I could see now that I was stuck in a hollow tree. This led to some more confusion.
'How in the heck did I get in there in the first place? I couldn't have had the tree grow around me, but it was completely sealed off...'
I looked around myself to get my bearings.
"Okay, forest... This is a dream, right? Because this is pretty cool."
It was a fairly standard forest, the most noticeable feature being how stinkin' HUGE the trees were. Seriously, they were like the Tower of Babel of nature. Curiously enough, the leaves were sparse enough to let a good amount of sun through the canopy, allowing a grass-covered ground.
All of a sudden, I noticed the pieces of wood that were around me, thanks to my breakout of the arboreal prison in which I was contained. I kneeled down to inspect the woodchips.
'Sweet mother of meat... That's about 2 inches of wood, and I punched, no, I whacked it open with an open hand with barely more effort than breaking a pencil!'
Then I noticed my hand.
"Holy cheese!" I exclaimed.
Instead of the human hands I had before, what greeted me was practically scary. My old hands used to be pretty big. Actually, it was more the fingers. Short palm, long fingers, wide spread. That was me. I could reach 10 white keys apart on the piano. It came in handy for a lot of things. I had bigger hands than anybody I knew, but evidently the universe decided I didn't know what big hands were.
These things made my old hands look like bunny paws. Maybe part of the reason was the fact that they were green, scaly, and had sharp black nails poking out of the ends. That's right. Not off the top and then growing straight and flat like human nails. These things were round, pointed and slightly curved. And very sharp. The size of the hand was equally astonishing. As these things were about triple the size of my previous fingers, they needed space to stretch. The palm was huge. Enormous. Maybe I'm exaggerating a little, but they were big.
'What in the name of creamed corn and apple fritters happened to me?' I thought to myself as I gazed at my new extremities. My look of astonishment slowly but surely left my face.
"If this is a dream, I hope I don't wake up for a while." I said, smiling.
You may be thinking I'm crazy, but seriously. How many times have you dreamt something like this? "Not nearly enough" should always be the answer. I checked out my feet next. Here, some more prominent differences were made. They were big, just like the hands. I've always had big feet, but this was bigger. And the toe distribution was wierder. Four toes were located at the front, fully moveable separately, while one started higher up at the back of my foot and pointed backwards. I lifted one leg and tried to close my foot.
'Talon-like feet, with nails the size of human thumbs, but wider at the base. The foot closes in a grip , but opens straight, adequate for running. I must be good at climbing and hanging onto things.'
I slowly checked the rest of my body. On the front side, nothing fully special except for the scales and improved muscles. The arms and legs were slightly longer, and could definitely sustain more stress than my human muscles. On the backside, I started from the feet up. Imagine my surprise when I found a tail there. And not one of those hairy pony-tails or the furry, slim, cat-tails, this thing meant business, I could tell just by feeling it. Prehensile, I noticed. I swung it aroung to the front to take a better look at it.
"Sheer awesomeness" I remarked.
The thing's base was thicker than my upper arm, and it didn't thin out too quickly. The muscle in it was powerful, I could tell. It needed to be. To hold up what was on the end of it, anything would need a good bit of muscle.
"Dang. Just call me morning-star-tail."
Attached to the bulky wonder that was my tail was, of all things, a great big ball of something black (bone?) with off-white and slightly blunt spikes jutting out. And it was hard. And heavy. But my tail seemed to just swing it around like nothing.
I moved up my back a bit more in my investigations. Sprouting out of the back, to be exact, out of 2 spots on either side of the backbone, below the tips of my shoulderblades, were two magnificent wings, their membrane a rich purple. Funny I didn't notice them before, as now they were outstretched, and would certainly not have fit into the tree, as their wingspan was longer than my height, even.
'I guess they just fold up,' I thought.
With a bit of difficulty, as I had never operated wings before(hands up, everybody who has), I folded them flat against my back, and I could barely notice them from then on.
'Mental note, try to train yourself with your 3 extra limbs.'
All along my back, there were a series of spikes, triangular things that were slightly curved downwards going from the top of my head to the club at my tail, varying in sizes.
I decided that I would look at my face in the nearest reflective surface, so I wouldn't have any doubts as to how I looked. I tried to be quiet and listened for any sound of water. All of a sudden, I could hear things quite a bit more clearly as I felt some movement on the sides of my head. Evidently I had some sort of moveable ears.
A small trickling sound came from my left. I turned, trying to verify it.
"Well, might as well get there as fast as possible," I reasoned, and so I started to run towards the sound. *WHUMP*
".......Ouch."
I had somehow crashed into a tree a couple of seconds after starting to run. A tree that I knew was farther away than I thought.
"Whazzat?" I muttered, detaching myself from the tree and stumbling around. I examined my brake, heavily disguised as an inoffensive tree. It looked no worse for wear.
'Heck, someone might even think it's a new form of art to have a dragon's outline sunk into a tree.'
I continued my search for water, at a slower jog.
"Brain, take note," I said to myself. "Crashing into stuff hurts. Hurt bad."
About 8 tree crashes later, I arrived at a small spring. A trickling stream slowly poured into it, and it was a wonder I had even heard it in the first place. I took a few sips and observed my face in a tranquil space of the pool.
"Well, I'm not fully ugly. Maybe a bit intimidating at first glance, but not really ugly. Actually, I look pretty darn cool!"
My head had an unusual form. The snout was short and slightly wide and had a mostly hard surface, except near the bulk of the head, where my cheeks were, and the lips, which were soft. The overall form was crocodile-like, having a slightly flat part of the head directly over the body and a good-sized, but not very long, snout coming from this.
The snout was bulky and hard, with 2 spikes rather like short rhino horns at the end, near the nostrils, the one farthest from the eyes a tad bit longer than the other and both slightly blunt. My ears were interesting, almost like fins on a fish, moving depending on where I wanted to hear almost as if they had a mind of their own.
I opened my mouth and looked inside. There were two rows of teeth lining my gums, and a perfectly normal tongue in between. I closed my mouth and took another look at my face. My old gray eyes. Same as they always were, a sort of combination between green and blue but mostly a stormy grey. The nostrils were mere holes at the near end of the snout, but I noticed that they had a separate channel from the mouth, theoretically joining in the throat.
"Sweet." I spread my wings out to their full capacity and held the pose, the purple leather of the wings going well with the green scales that surrounded me. "Okay. What was before was sweet. This is officially epic."
I couldn't resist. I gave a slow, evil chuckle, glaring into the pool, as if I was the most evil thing in the world.
"MUA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAAA!"
I'm pretty sure I scared the metaphorical socks off of the water.
I grinned at myself for a minute, but as time went on, I dropped my smile and stared at my reflection.
"This is too real for a dream."
Honestly, I felt kinda crushed. I knew how to know if I was dreaming, reality checks and just the lack of fuzziness when I thought about it. Lucid dreaming was a sort of a thing I trained myself to detect. I wasn't dreaming.
I looked upwards, dazed and confused.
"Where is this...?"
Heck, I had a life. And it was a pretty darn decent life too. Sure, I wasn't some boy genius, I wasn't immensely popular, but I had friends, I was known as a smart guy, I got good grades... And all of a sudden some cosmic force decides to rip out my thoughts and put them in a dragon? What's up with that? I shook my head, trying to think logically and not start bawling or something.
'If there's a way here, there might be a way back,' I thought to myself.
"I'm gonna need to learn a bit more. What other abilities do I have? What exactly is this world? It might be dangerous, I do have the body of a dragon, so I might have need for it. Also, I have less detail and an outline, for goodness sakes. What is this, a cartoon, or something? Who are the sentient inhabitants of this planet? What am I going to say to them? How should I act? What should I call myself?"
I decided to give the last question more thought.
'What should I call myself?'
I scratched at my head in thought, but somehow managed to scrape off some of my scales.
"Okaaaaaay... That was wierd. Do I have a bald spot now or something?"
Close inspection revealed no change in the state of my head, so I tried with other scales. With barely any effort, I removed a scale from the back of my hand, and I found another scale beneath it. That was weird. I tapped on my arm, and something there shocked me. Each time I tapped, the smaller scales in that area would somehow fuse together, or at least cluster closer. I jabbed a claw into my forearm, or rather tried to, but the scale mail that formed was too hard for my claw to penetrate, albeit I hadn't used much force.
'Wow. I wonder if I can do that on cue.'
I looked at my wrist, and willed the scales to merge. Concentrating hard worked, and I pulled out the enlarged scale.
"Wow, if it wasn't for how thin it was, I'd say it looks good for skipping."
I stepped back a few paces and almost mockingly tossed it like a frisbee at the water. To my amazement, it didn't touch the water. Rather, with the force of my throw, it spun into the air and boomeranged back at me. *CLANG*
"......Ouch... again." I picked up the scale, which had betrayed me and hit my skull, and held it up. It suddenly dissolved.
"I think... I'll call myself... Scales."
That's all for chapter 1, and I hope you all enjoy it. Hopefully, our scaly friend will make some contact with the ponies next chapter. It won't be long.
"Okay, I think I'm starting to get a hang of this thing."
I had been practicing with my scales for a couple hours now. I noticed that the trajectory was fairly hard to aim, but once it was done, the scales could follow pretty much any continuous curve, circling around or going straight depending on how I held it and threw it.
"So where am I anyway? The place looks oddly familiar, but I can't quite put my foot on it. Hold on, nature calls. Big time."
The next half hour was spent behind a bush, pretty much dying. Evidently, my new body stored up before making it's call. Good to know.
"Oh boy, that gas just stinks! Oh darn, I-I-I'm gonna... ATCHOO!" *BOOM!*
"So where am I anyway? The place looks oddly familiar, but I can't quite put my foot on it. Hold on, nature calls. Big time."
'Mental notes. I can breathe fire. I seem to be immune to excess heat. Gas is extremely volatile. Do not burn.'
"I can breathe fire... Why am I surprised? I'm a dragon, for Pete's sake. Still, it's pretty cool."
Deciding that I should find some shelter, I flapped my wings experimentally, preparatory to taking off. *Whump*
"Okay, wings are powerful, with altitude easily gained, and trees are officially annoying now."
I was getting steamed, and I decided to take it out on the branch. *CHOMP* My jaws bit through it like it was made of cheese. Very crunchy cheese that didn't taste very good. I let it fall and soared upwards, trying out my wings for the first time.
'Okay, it's not that hard. Just keep yourself in a glide and flap only occasionally.' *WHOOSH*
I made a bad movement with my right wing, raising it too much, and I flew rapidly to the left.
"Must...straighten...wings..."
After a couple close calls with some trees, I finally stabilized and tried to go straighter and slightly slower. Soon, I saw an area of rock, a mini-mountain. I lifted up my wings more and let the air escape slowly from them.
"Dang. Harder than it looks to control these things."
I descended in front of a large opening in the rock. It was a cave, quite large, that slowly descended. As I entered, I noticed a slight glow coming from the walls; I attributed this to a light-reflecting mineral or luminescent fungi. It seemed like a nice place to stay. Evidently, the dragon who lived there thought the same. A dark shadow moved between me and the opening. I froze.
"Crud."
"What are you doing in my cave!?" said a gruff and barely understandable voice. The dragon easily surpassed me in size. Heck, my entire body was smaller than his head.
"Um... Pardon me, I was just looking for some shelter but I didn't know this place was occupied already... I'll just go now then."
Taking the civilized approach with a creature 50 times your size that lived in a cave. Effective? Debatable.
"You are after my treasure!" he accused, getting ready to chomp down on me.
I squeaked. Thankfully, my new body came with some tricks. A combination of instinct and quick calculation made me jump back just enough to avoid the gaping maw of the orange reptile. I turned quickly. *POW*
The dragon's head hit the wall to the side after my club-tail swatted him. With a grumble, he turned back to face me and lifted up a large claw. Then he stopped. He looked around. Slowly, his arm came back down. I was panting, the adrenaline coursing through my body, only to have him shrug and move further into the cave. I quickly slammed myself against the wall to avoid getting trampled by his mass.
'What was up with that?' I wondered as I stepped out of the cave. Then I gasped. I could barely see myself. I could see a basic outline, but not much else. I twisted and turned my arms around, trying to figure out what was up with my body.
"Okaaaaay, so... Add chameleonic scales to the list," I said as my body flashed back into it's proper color. "But that can't be it. There's got to be something else, because a simple color change cannot make me that hard to see." I filed that thought away for later.
********
That night, I just decided to sleep in a tree. Better that than another dragon's lair. I laid down on a branch and closed my eyes. My final thoughts as I drifted off were wondering what worlds had talking dragons.
A scream pierced the silence of morning in the area where I was sleeping. I woke up with a start and looked around myself. Seeing nothing, I listened for a sound which would determine where the piercing vocal rendition originated.
'Galloping... and barking... little bit of soft furry paws running.' At that moment, some figures came into view. A pink equine with a red mane galloped away from four dark grey voracious-looking wolf-like creatures, a bit shorter in height, but a bit longer in length. Frankly, I couldn't believe it.
'I'm in Equestria? Or at least on the same planet. Seems a bit overdone... Still, AWESOME!!! But say, what are those pooches? They're not diamond dogs, they look a bit more wild, less sentient.'
The pony screamed again as she tripped on a malevolent root sticking out of the ground.
'Dang she is loud.' I noticed, covering my ears.
Before the unfortunate pony could get up again, the small pack was nearly upon her. They paused momentarily. Obviously, the hunt was over and the victim couldn't run. There was nothing to stop them from enjoying fresh meat. The leader crouched and leaped towards her. She screamed.
A small object crashed into the hound, knocking it off course and urging a yelp from the beastly thing. It crumpled on the ground, a thick gash present on its left shoulder. The projectile flew around some more and embedded itself in the trunk of a nearby tree. Silence was held for a moment.
"Sorry, furballs, but breakfast is cancelled." I said as I sprung out of the tree. The earth shook as I landed between the frightened filly and the horrendous hounds. All members of the hunt, including the victim, became uneasy, but the wolves soon recovered. The leader slowly stood back up onto it's feet and barked what seemed to be an order. Five or six more wolves seemed to just appear all around us, forming a large circle. I readjusted my position so I had a basic view of most of them. Another howl of the boss, and a single hound approached alone.
A noise from my hands made me momentarily look at them. Two huge spike-like black structures had sprouted out of the back of each hand, halfway to the wrist, between the tendons of the index fingers and the middle fingers, and between the tendons of the ring and pinkies. The tips weren't fully sharp, but with enough force, I could tell these things would cause a bit of damage.
'Sweet'.
The hound growled at me, showing its well-developed denture. I yelled right back at it. Only it didn't come out as a yell, as a shout. I roared. A deep, loud roar like I had something rattling in my throat. The hound then did something unexpected. It shimmered and disappeared. Kinda just winked out of existence like someone had portaled it somewhere.
'Wait a minute... Portaled...' I felt a sharp pain in the back of my neck and claws holding onto my shoulders. I swung my tail up and knocked it to the side with my club tail.
The hound yelped as the swat connected and flew into a tree. I quickly blasted a fireball at it, but much to my chagrin, the heat just struck the fur and dissolved into thin air. The beast limped to its feet and nearly collapsed from the blow of my tail. The leader enunciated a series of barks which pierced the air like an arrow, and the rest of the canines crouched menacingly and shifted. The main attack was underway.
"Now I remember why you look so familiar. I know what you are. The grey fur, the short-distance portaling and the resistance to fire, and most likely all forms of magic. You are blink hounds.", I said. "Also, the heightened intelligence, leading to a language for easy communication. Let's dance."
Almost immediately, I regretted I had said that.
'Isn't a dog pile a bit of a cliché?' I thought to myself, while fighting to keep them off of me. I tore one off of my left arm and flung him into a nearby tree, and then punched one heading for my throat from the front, my knuckle-spikes giving him two extra wounds. My tail was constantly swirling as I stepped around the ground, trying to keep the vicious brutes from giving me pain. I roared again, this one being slightly prolonged and louder. It was almost no use. However many times I picked them off and flung them away, they still got up and rushed for me again. A yelp came out of one of the blinkers when he foolishly lunged for my throat, only to be repelled by a fist to the ribs.
We continued on, neither side letting down the attacks, me throwing them around, careful not to step on the pony beneath me as they piled onto me. One of them finally got under my skin, both literally and metaphorically. The drop of green blood oozing out of my right forearm was the last straw. My roar shook the very trees before my jaws closed upon the neck of the magical menace, holding him in a tight grasp before throwing him through a tree. Yes, that's right. I threw the dang thing right through the wood of a nearby tree.
I felt a change coming over me. My eyes slitted, I could tell by the new field of vision detected by my eyes. Something like adrenaline flowed through my blood vessels, yet it felt somewhat different than adrenaline. It cooled my sweat down and my muscles felt stronger. I tossed the remaining blink hounds off of me and took a deep breath before engaging the few that could still get up. The five that were left circled and all jumped at once.
My breathing accelerated and I could feel my heart humming, barely bothering to put space between beats. I spun around in place and noticed that the blink hounds were going somehow... slower. It was if the whole world except me had gone slightly slow-motion. I grabbed the paw of the hound that reached me first, stepped aside and flung him into the ground. As the other remaining three hounds grabbed hold of me, the one on my right was pummeled to the ground by a big scaly fist and lay there, either unconscious or unliving.
I opened my wings, and two hounds focused their attention on them. I flapped them once, quickly, and their teeth lost their hold, allowing flight to the two specimens, right up until the point where they kissed the ground. The remaining blinker I grabbed by the tail before taking off. In the air, I did several loop-de-loops and let the momentum remain as I chucked it down at the ground, where the impact sent him to a happier hunting ground.
I floated down to the ground, my breathing and my heart both slowing down. I fell to my knees and my hands as I gasped for some extra air. Throughout the fight, the pink pony had been staring wide-eyed in fear and astonishment. I smirked at her.
"Don't forget to blink." She slowly nodded, and then blinked a few times as she realized she hadn't been doing that for a while. "Well?", I asked.
She hastily stood up, still with her eyes looking like soup plates.
"Oh, um... well... I, uh, I... um, uh, P-p-please d-don't h-hurt m-m-me...", she pleaded, now shaking quite visibly.
"Okay, you seem to be getting a couple of things just a tad bit wrong. I'm not gonna eat you, and if you think I'm gonna take down 9 magical carnivorous hounds to hurt you instead of just letting them hurt you, you got another thing coming on." I retorted, looking her over for the first time.
She had a pink body that was about average size from what I would think and her red mane was kinda poofy, with a few curls in it. On her flank was a mark that resembled two vials of liquid, one pouring a blue substance into the other. She also had a light purple horn coming out of her forehead. A pair of simple brown saddlebags hung down on either side. Both her and her equipment were scratched and torn, probably part from the vegetation, part from the blink hounds.
"Anyways, my name is Scales. What's yours?", I said, putting on the least creepy smile I could.
She seemed to become slightly calmer, but she still shook slightly. "M-my name is Doctor Lena."
"You're a scientist?"
"How did you know?" She shied away from me for a moment.
"You have two vials of liquid on your cutie-mark, most likely representing chemicals. You are also a unicorn, and magic is close to alchemy, which is basically the same thing as mixing chemicals."
"You know about cutie-marks?" I nodded. "What else do you know?"
"I know both a lot and not much." *grumble* "Heh, seems I'm hungry."
Her eyes widened to soccer balls. "Eep!", she squeaked.
"Calm down, I'm not going to eat you. You're probably hungry too. I know of a spring nearby. We can go there and see if there's any fruit there you can eat. As for me, I can just try blink hound."
She nodded, though she looked unsure and cautious, and I picked up the 5 dead blink hounds that hadn't managed to scoot away, not without difficulty, and we walked off towards the spring. I noticed she still watched me from the corner of her eye, as if I was going to try something. Now that we were walking, I saw that I was about double the height that her head was at from the ground.
"Why are you doing this for me?", she asked, somewhat suspicious. I guess I was doing strange behavior for a dragon.
"Why not? Not all dragons are cantankerous and bloodthirsty. Besides, I don't think I'm fully the type of dragon you have around here."
Soon, we were around a fire, eating. Lena had found some apples and oranges, and I was dining on roast blink hound with lemon and some hot peppers I had found. Lena tried one of the peppers, but it wasn't mild enough for her, to put it mildly. Truly, she had run around like a headless chicken, trying to get past me to the water, which I knew would make it worse.
Not surprisingly, I could stomach them quite well. I guess it comes with being able to breathe fire. Oh, and in case you're wondering, blink hound is very similar to squirrel. Tough to chew, (actually, not so much with my new jaws) but a pretty good flavor. I kept the blink hound furs, as I knew they would come in handy, as well as the teeth. They would resist fire well, and based on my knowledge of them, they were pretty much immune to spells as well.
"So Lena," She jumped as I said this. "Do you think you can draw me a rough location of where we are right now?" She nodded and telekinetically picked up a nearby stick and started to draw with it in a soily patch.
"Well, Equestria is this area right here, and we are right over here.", she said as she marked out a few things.
"We're pretty far from there, then.", I remarked.
"Yes. This forest is called Guardians Blessing, and is quite large. It isn't as explored as Everfree forest, and therefore it isn't known whether it is more dangerous than Everfree or not, but it certainly has more light and more life. I personally came in here to find some reagents for my science projects which are only known to grow around here. I live right here for the time being, but I might move back to Canterlot in a few years when my research is done."
I looked up at her.
"You live outside Equestria? That could probably be considered unusual by most ponies.", I remarked. "But then again, that idea would be the one I would follow. I'm not big on cities. I like small towns better, and forest life isn't bad. By the way, did you ever find the reagents you were looking for?"
"Yes, I found them right before those blasted hounds found me. Why didn't any of my spells or your fire work on them? All the spells just dissolved."
"Well, blink hounds are natural magic dissipators. They are born with fur that protects them from extreme heat, extreme cold and magic spells. Their name comes from their ability to "blink", or teleport short distances. Anyways, there might be more monsters around. Would you like me to escort you to your home?"
"Well, it's just that... I mean... What I'm trying to say is..."
"Basically, you're freaked out because I'm a dragon." She nodded and hung her head. "Well, it's your choice. You can make the trip with this monster, or with the other unknown monsters."
She cocked her head and looked at me. "You know, you have a point there. Alright, I'm probably going to regret this, but... I accept." She timidly offered a shaking hoof.
I smiled and shook her hoof gently. "I promise to you that I'm not going to eat you or leave you behind, and that promise is on my honor, which is something you probably wouldn't expect from a dragon."
"Well, you aren't any ordinary dragon, that's for sure." Her face offered just a shadow of a smile as she said that.
"You go ahead and sleep, I'll take the first watch. That is, if you don't mind."
"That's fine with me. You made a promise, and I'm pretty sure you're going to keep it. The unicorn slowly nodded off to sleep, leaving me to the watch, as I wasn't tired. Unbeknownst to either of us, a dark figure observed us from a point high in the sky, behind a cloud...
Who is this mysterious figure in the sky? What is it's motives? And lemme tell you right now so there isn't any confusion: that pony isn't Pinkie-Pie. Let's hope that I can actually keep this guys antics somewhat believable without being the incredibly OP dude he was when he first popped into my mind a few months ago.
The sun slowly came up over the horizon, shedding it's light over all it reached. I greeted the dawn with a grin.
'Not bad, Celestia. Not bad at all.'
I looked around again and listened for something suspicious. Funny thing how I could stay up all night and not yawn even once. As the sun rose slightly higher, the rays began to shine into my eyes. Almost subconsciously, two scales above my eyes thinned and elongated, allowing me instant sunglasses. I had spent part of the night practicing with my scales. They came in handy for more things than just battle, even though they were suited to throw at enemies.
On top of a log, Lena was snoring peacefully. That might have contributed to why I couldn't sleep. It might have been peaceful to her, but to me, it sounded like several potatoes being rolled down a thin wooden plank. I wasn't hungry, but I figured she would be, so I used the stems of some fruits as target practice, slicing them off the branch and swiping them with extended claws. After a relatively short space of time, I had a platter(or flat stone) of fruit slices good enough for a breakfast. I picked up a nearby stick and prodded Lena with it.
"Oi, sleepin' beauty. Wake up before I decide to roust you out the hard way.", I said with a few more pokes. She jolted awake as if I had just stabbed her with a sharp pencil.
"No need for that, Scales! I'm awake!", she said, before eyeballing the fresh fruit.
"Chow down, Bubblegum. We're gonna start moving today, and you're gonna need to stay awake and energetic in case something decides to assault us."
"Do you have to call me something other than my name every time you speak to me?", she complained.
"Not really, but it's just how I talk."
She muttered something to herself before filling her mouth with a chunk of banana.
A snap of a twig in the distance alerted me of something else around us. Lena frowned at my twitching ear.
"Anything wrong?" she asked.
"We're not fully alone." I replied, slipping into camoflauge mode. She choked on an orange slice. "Calm down, I can camoflauge myself. Actually, I can pretty much disguise myself as anything, change my scales to any color."
She lowered her plate(flat rock) and looked around nervously. "What exactly is it?"
"Don't know, but it smells horrible. Kinda like burnt cat hair."
My guess was more accurate than I would've guessed. A tiger came hurtling out of the bushes towards Lena, teeth bared like nobody's business. Before it got halfway to her, I gave it a punch in the side. It hurtled to the side, crashing on the ground a couple of feet from the pink pony.
"I hope that hurt, furbrain!" I taunted.
It snarled at the general direction my voice came from and settled into a battle stance. I could see why it smelled so bad now. On its side, there was a burnt patch of hair, from what, I wasn't sure. I came out of stealth mode, on the side where the tiger wasn't looking.
Lena looked at me with surprise. I gently tapped the cats shoulder, and when it turned around to hiss at me, I shot a fireball at its face. Immediately, it started roaring and clawing at its face, before jumping into the spring to extinguish itself. A blackened face turned to me and hissed before turning in the other direction and leaving.
"How did you get on the other side of it?", Lena asked in surprise. I disappeared.
"The same way I just did it to you." I replied. Lena turned to the other direction and jumped 5 feet in the air, startled by my sudden appearance.
We had gathered a small supply of fruit with us, slung in one of the now dry blinker furs. I carried most of our pack, while Lena shuffled nervously behind me. The scenery was constant. Trees so thick I couldn't wrap my arms around them, ivy climbing up their crackled and dry trunks. A few birds dared sing their sweet songs, much to the delight of the periodic falcon swooping down. The light came through the trees with little difficulty, allowing life to the small patches of grass that could absorb a bit of sunlight. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a flash of red peeking out of a fork in the branches. I stopped in my tracks to take a better look at it.
"Trouble?" Lena asked, straining her ears for a possible sound.
I shook my head and pointed at the bundle of twigs that rested in the safety of a tree. She looked at me confused.
"There's nothing there but a clump of sticks." Without a word, I gently knocked on the trunk of the tree. Immediately, two bright, red, yellow and orange heads peered out of the nest at me. "A phoenix nest.", she whispered. She turned to me. "You have very good eyes."
I moved her jaw up to its proper location. "I could eat soup off of your eyeballs by the day, judging how ya keep 'em open that way."
She hastily blinked twice and forced her eyelids to a normal position. Without another word, we trudged on through the wood.
High up in the clouds, a dozen pairs of cruel eyes watched the unlikely companions trek on through the woods.
"You sure you can take him?", asked a wheezy voice to another creature beside him. "He looks pretty tough." Immediately, the second one grabbed the first by the throat and snarled.
"Are you sayin' I'm some kind of a wimp? I'll crush him into the dust, and I'll eat the pony as a celebration dinner. You gotta problem with that?" retorted the second creature, still holding his neighbor by the throat.
"No no, I just meant that..."
"Now listen here, ya lily-liver. You might be a chicken, but I'm not. We'll ambush them when they hit the desert and I'm going to make him wish he was never born, ya got it?" The unfortunate victim nodded enthusiastically, clutching the claw around his neck. "Good. Now let's fly."
"So how do we know we're on the right track?" I asked Lena.
"We can follow the compass for now, but soon we'll hit the Sunny Desert, and we can follow a few natural landmarks from there."
I snorted. "Sunny Desert? That name is... original."
"Well don't look at me, I didn't name it."
And so we trekked on through the huge forest. At one point, I noticed a distinct lack of moisture in the air.
"We're getting closer."
She merely nodded at my remark.
The trees started thinning out, leading to an increase in sunlight. Soon, we were walking on mere grass out in the open, tough, coarse grass that would make your feet hurt if they were soft enough. Celestia's sun burned in the afternoon sky, raining heat down upon us in large quantities. I, being a dragon, and therefore pretty much heat-proof, was unaffected. The same could not be said for the pink pony dragging herself over the dry grass, tongue hanging out like a canine.
"You okay, Pinks?", I asked. She took a swig out of her canteen.
"Yeah. Pretty much."
"Feelin' a bit boiled?" She nodded. I spread my wings. "Hop aboard, there's plenty of shade."
She hesitated, before nodding again and moving towards my back. I kneeled down and spread my wings wider so she had a bit of space to hop on. A bit towards the area of my wings, there was an area that she hopped onto. It gently sunk a little as though accommodating her. I spread my wings over my head, between her and the sun. The grass was thinning out, giving way for patches of bare ground through the few dull-green blades. Before us spread the vast expanse that was the desert, a mainly flat surface punctuated with large solid boulders.
"Well, Scales. Here we are. Welcome to Sunny Desert, one of the hottest places known to pony.", mumbled Lena in my ear. I looked around with a critical view.
"Place could use a good dusting.", I remarked. I started to walk across the boiling landscape.
'I am so glad that I can resist heat. A pony walking by itself must go through torture here.' I peered over my shoulder. Lena was sweating like there was no tomorrow.
"You okay back there?"
"Better than I would be if I was going alone." she managed to pant out. I turned my head back to where I was going. As I approached a shady boulder, I heard several loud thumps behind me.
'Crud! I wasn't listening!'
I quickly turned my back to face whatever had landed behind us. About a dozen figures of different colors stood in front of us. Their heights varied, but all were at least a head shorter than me. Lena pulled her head up over my shoulder to see what the new arrivals were, quick to pull it back down as a small ball of fire got spat out by a shorter yellow dragon. I snarled and moved the fireball out of the way with my hand. A red dragon, obviously the ringleader, stepped closer.
"Well looky here!", he jeered. "A fancy little pony riding a dragon. Doesn't that make you feel humiliated, Cheese-breath?"
I merely smiled. "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names ain't gonna hurt me. Actually, strike that first part. Sticks and stones aren't gonna hurt me either."
"I see you're a funny man. How about we take this to the arena? Whoever defeats the other gains rights to the pony. If you refuse, we all take ya on at once. In other words, I'm challenging you."
I debated my options. If I fought him in open combat, the dragons might go after us, in spite of the agreement. However, all of them at once would most likely rip me apart, and that wouldn't be a good option. "Fine. I accept. Where is this arena?"
The leader grinned in a sinister manner. "Right this way, pony-friend." He spat the words out as if they tasted bad to his mouth.
'Not really surprising. Most dragons are quite anti-pony. I peered over my shoulder to look at Lena, her eyes once again the size of soup-plates. I let a tip of a smile graze the left side of my mouth as I winked at her. She visibly gulped.
The arena turned out to be a large square field, marked by large boulders, with a shaded area on each side, where the others who weren't fighting waited. I stood next to Lena, using the five minutes they gave me to examine my opponent.
"Are you sure you can beat him, Scales?" Lena asked, clearly worried.
"I'm not fully sure, but he seems pretty confident. That might lose it for him. I have a few tricks up my sleeve, and he seems like he isn't using the best of his natural abilities to his advantage.", I responded.
"How so?"
"Look at his physique. He's the tallest of the bunch, and his whole body, from the tip of his elongated schnoz to the end of his tail, is best suited for speed. However, he's noticeably put a lot of time into raising his biceps, trying to make himself stronger instead of faster."
"You notice all that? Where did you learn?" she asked me, obviously impressed.
"Actually, it's coming naturally. I wasn't really this observant or smart before." I was a little confused though myself, but I dismissed the thought.
'Heck, it'll probably just be the magic in the air, making me smarter, like a sort of Narnia thing with brains.'
"Hey Pea-brain!", yelled the young drake. "Five minutes are up, let's go!" I stood up and flipped into the arena. Literally, flipped. Enhanced agility was mine. Not to be outdone, the drake tried to do the same, but ended up on his rear-end, grumbling in pain. I smirked.
"So are we gonna start or what? I wouldn't want to interrupt your communication with the dirt, but perhaps we can arrange an appointment with it again soon, say, in about two minutes." A rumble of "Ooooooooooooooo"s rippled through the dragon seats. I guess they took whatever fun they could.
"You pansies shut up!" yelled my opponent. "As for you, you're gonna be eatin' dirt in 50 seconds!"
I grinned and shifted into my defensive stance. "Let's see whatcha got, red."
Scales has entered his first real battle with a dragon. Granted, the dragon is young, but it should still be an interesting match. Will Scales emerge triumphantly? Or will Lena's hide belong to the dragons? Find out next time in 'Tyrannosaurus Wrecks' or 'Dragon the Trash Out'! (Also, a cookie to whoever knows what that's from)
We slowly circled around the arena, observing each other. The atmosphere was hushed, and the tension was almost unbearable. I noticed that the red dragon was sweating.
'Is it because of heat, or fear?' I asked myself.
His eyes almost seemed to doubt what he was doing, before he narrowed them and snarled, rushing towards me. He managed to get a good jab on my left cheek and a kick to the stomach. I reeled back and caught my balance. I cracked my neck, twice.
"That all you got?"
He tried for me again. This time, I was ready. My forearm instinctively fused it's scales together, providing a very effective defensive surface. His fist hit it with a loud crack before he groaned, pulled his hand back and shook it gently.
'While I'm at it, I might as well enforce my creepy image.' I reasoned, letting a sinister smile climb to my lips. I opened my hands, and the black claws made a sound like a sword against it's sheath as they extended an inch. I swiped across his chest, leaving a shallow gash.
"Aaaaaaaaah!" he screamed.
"Careful, Red. That was just a warning."
I resumed my stance, preparing myself for what he could do. His eyes blazed. He whipped towards me and attacked with a new ferocity. I could block many of them, but a lot of them still found their marks.
'So now he's done fooling around. Too bad for him I'm going easy right now.' With a final tail strike, he blew me back to the wall. He grinned satisfactorily.
"How do ya like me now?"
I didn't answer. I felt the familiar feeling of adrenaline coursing through my veins. I knew it wasn't enough. My knuckle-claws slowly extended from their places. His eyes widened for a moment, but he forced them back to normal, intent on not letting me see the fear in his eyes.
"So big deal. You've got a couple extra claws. I'll still defeat you."
I just looked at him for a few seconds. Then my arm flew back. With a grunt, I spun and let the fist fly... right to the boulder next to me. He cackled.
"You're going to be easier than I thought. You can't even aim right."
I didn't respond. My fist burned with pain, which slowly crept up my arm. Suddenly, I clutched my heart area and fell to one knee.
"You are a weakling. You don't even have a right to be licking my footsteps." he taunted.
In my mind, I smiled. 'Boy, this battle is far from over.' The heartburn was what I was looking for. The other liquid poured into my blood vessels. This was superior to adrenaline. I stood up again and looked into his face, my heart speeding up. He gasped.
"Y-your... your eyes...", he stuttered out.
My heart was a hum now, nothing capable of hearing a gap between beats. I began to chuckle. The chuckle soon turned into a laugh, which morphed into a maniacal outburst that a certain green-haired clown would have been proud of. My right fist sped into him, faster than I myself could see. He was swept back by the blow. I continued cackling. His wide eyes looked at me in fear.
"W-what happened t-t-to y-you?"
I slowly advanced towards him.
"There is both a thick line and a thin line between sanity and madness. Some people plant their feet on the sane side. Others yield to mind breaks and dance over to madness. I have both my feet firmly planted and they aren't going to budge. I'm standing with a foot in each of the areas. Sometimes I'm dead serious, not joking for anything in the world. At other intervals, I'm completely bonkers."
He paled significantly, but still got up.
"I don't know what you are, but I'm still going to mash you into a pulp." he stated; his visible shaking clearly betrayed him.
I growled, a hissing angry kind of growl, spread my wings threatiningly, dropped into a bestial crouch, and to top it all off, I hissed. A mad hiss, my mouth slightly open with my thin tongue fluttering. I coulda sworn he took a whizz right there. I could scarcely blame him. Heck, I was creeping myself out.
I leaped at him with a roar and bit his shoulder, hard enough to draw blood, but not quite enough to take the arm off. I quickly batted him to the side with my tail, sending him right into a boulder. He slowly lifted himself up and painstakingly got into a battle stance. With surprising speed, he ran around to my back and tried to punch me there. Pretty big mistake. For one thing, I had a bunch of spikes there. For another, there were the wings. Lastly, and definitely not leastly, my tail was right there. I almost felt sorry for the poor guy. Almost.
He ended up leaning against a boulder, several cuts adorning his body, dripping a dark green liquid. He panted and moaned in pain.
"Do you yield?", I asked, knowing full well what the answer was.
He looked at me bitterly. "Fine. Don't go patting yourself on the back just now, though, because I was going easy on you."
"Yeah, yeah, you keep telling yourself that, okay?"
For a minute, I thought his face was going to explode with rage. I walked back to the shady spot where Lena was stationed. She regarded me with open eyes and equally wide jaw. I smirked at her.
"Have you bothered counting the flies that go in there, or do you just round up and add four for good measure?" I joked.
The sun was low in the sky. It was beginning to cool down fast, so Lena took to walking by herself until we could find a place to spend the night or firewood, preferably both.
"Scales?", said the pink pony walking next to me.
"Hmm?"
"What happened back there? You just kinda changed, as if you were another person. And not just during the dragon fight, even though it did have that creepy insanity thing. It also happened when you battled the blink hounds. Why? Your muscles relaxed, and I could hear your heart doing 600 beats per minute at least. And your eyes, they just... I don't know. They turned into slits and the irises turned... yellow. Just a golden yellow that looked intimidating, as if you were going to tear apart what you were mad at, though, you actually did pretty much tear apart what you were mad at."
"I'm not sure exactly what happened. My best guess is that apart from adrenaline, which is produced every time we get startled, I also have a hormone that works in situations of more stress, but has drastic effects, giving me a sort of primal instinct to protect me."
She stared at me like I was some sort of freak(not far from the truth).
"I will never understand you.", she mumbled.
"I don't fully understand me myself.", I chuckled. "One of the characteristics of being crazy, I suppose. I can live with it."
But inside, I was feeling a little worried.
'What's happening to me?'
We finally stopped walking as we saw a sort of stone cavern, made by the stacking of boulders by some unknown means. We looked at each other and shrugged. Better in there than out. Entering, I blew a little flame around the small natural room. It was empty, had plenty of air holes, and was pretty good for spending the night, considering our current location. Finding a few tumbleweeds and a large-ish boulder, we entered the cave. I lit the plants on fire in a corner and settled the rock up against the opening. Lena raised an eyebrow at me, a munched apple suspended in the air near her.
"Well, we don't want any unexpected visitors, do we?" She shrugged and laid down near the fire. I tossed the blink hound furs over to her.
"You're gonna need these. Gets pretty cold in the desert at night."
"What about you?"
"Uh... Dragon here? I think my body will raise enough heat to keep me warm. I breathe fire, for goodness sake. I can just heat up a rock if I need it."
"Whatever floats your boat."
Spying a boulder in the shape of a log anchored firmly near the top of the stone structure, I struck an idea. Executing half of a flip, I wrapped my talons around the rock and held on. 'Not bad. Actually, more comfortable even than just lying down.' A snore came from the direction of my partner. I rolled my eyes. Hopefully I would actually be able to sleep.
A hollow knocking sound woke me up. I stretched my neck a little to peer at a very annoyed scientist.
"You woke me up on purpose. You started snoring, and when I woke up you stopped." she accused.
"I hate to burst your bubble, but don't remove the non-existent speck from my eye before you take out the plank in yours. You snored all night like a hog." Her face reddened.
"You don't have any proof."
"Well, there's the fact that the snoring stopped the exact instant you woke up."
She reddened even further. I paid no notice. Ever since she woke me up, I had been feeling something surrounding my entire body. I examined myself, still hanging from the ceiling. My wings were comfortably wrapped around me, forming a cocoon. 'Cool'. Lena shivered.
"I told ya you were gonna need those furs."
"That's true. Thank you. Now could you please open up the rock so we can get on our way?" she demanded, slightly vexed.
"Alright, alright, don't get your mane in a bunch." I loosened my hold on the rock and fell to the floor. Standing up, I rubbed my head and then started to tug at the rock. My eyes widened. "It won't budge."
"WHAT!?!" she screamed. "I don't want to be stuck in here forever!" She started hyperventilating. "Somebody get me a bag!"
"I'm just kidding, Lena. Sheesh, what a drama queen," I remarked, removing the stone from the entrance. Lena glared at me with narrowed eyes, proclaiming death to all who dared step in her way. I grinned.
"I'm on both sides of the mental status line, remember? I'm feeling a bit wacky at the moment."
Her eyes still did not lose their venomous tint.
The sun had risen, boiling the landscape in it's firey heat. Celestia was really overdoing it today, and we only had one canteen of water left.
"Okay Lena, here's how it's going to work. We're going to have to get out of this place as quickly as possible, to ensure your survival. I don't know exactly how fast I can go, due to the restricting trees back there, but I hope I can make it to the end of the desert in time. Now climb on and tell me which way to go."
"Fine. You win. I'll insult you when we're out of this place." With a grunt of effort, she clambered up to the small hollow on my back and pointed the direction.
"You might want to hold on," I told her, a grin flashing across my face.
I crouched down, and took off. And when I say I took off, I really took off. I was really pickin' 'em up and layin' 'em down, if you catch my drift.
"WHOOHOO!!!" I yelled to noone in particular. "Sonic The Hedgehog, eat your heart out!"
To say the least, Lena wasn't exactly enjoying the ride. I looked back over my shoulder to find a now-pale-green pony with an appearance of severe nausea. I froze. A little bit too unexpectedly. Lena flew off my back and forward, landing surprisingly, and to my relief, softly. Into a tumbleweed. The spiky kind.
"Could this day get any worse?" she moaned.
I face-palmed. That is one of the worst things to say in a cartoon world, another being: You and what army? Needless to say, immediately a small wind rolled her and the tumbleweed around, prompting a vomit. The wind changed direction immediately, sending her right back. I merely stared and shook my head as a personal thunderstorm appeared over her head. She looked at me miserably.
"This. Never. Happened."
"Oh, I don't know, it seems like-" I was cut off by her popping up near my face and glaring.
"Never. Happened." The tone in her voice was quite threatening, and I was inclined to listen to her. "Now, if we can just forget about this, we can go for it again. Slower. Or else." I sighed and nodded resigningly.
She climbed onto my back with great dignity and I ran again. At a pace faster than before.
'She's gonna kill me for this, but I want at least a little fun. I just hope she doesn't assault me in my sleep.'
Well, fourth chapter is done, finally. This one took a bit longer, as I had other RL stuff to do. Will continute updating, though. Stay tuned.
At last, we reached the end of the desert. Lena dismounted immediately and headed for the nearest bush, tossin' cookies like there was no tomorrow. I grinned maliciously at her discomfort and started to look for some other food. Very near us, there was a convenient river. Surrounding it, there were a lot of wild apple trees. I started picking the ripe apples, feeling a slight pang of hunger that hadn't been present for around two days. I refilled the canteens that we had and took a long draught myself, dropping the river level a couple of inches for a few seconds. I sighed and wiped my lips, before I heard a splashing sound slightly upriver. Lena had completely dunked her head underwater, guzzling all she could. I sighed.
"Now you're not gonna be able to eat lunch," I told her when her head finally surfaced. She glared at me. "Sheesh, first it's wide eyes, and now it's angry eyes. What's next, googly eyes?" I muttered.
"Shut your big ugly pie-hole," she retorted. I shrugged and gave her an apple, which she scarfed down immediately.
"Um... Lena? You might not wanna eat the core. No? Okay then, don't worry about it. Here, just take some more apples. Uh, Lena? Lena? That's all the apples. Okay then, I suppose you can just eat them."
At the end of this, Lena had clearly eaten beyond her fill. I snickered.
"Hey look! It's a real live pony that rocks! On her stomach!"
Her eyes shot pure venom at me.
"Alright wise guy, I'm gonna get you for that! C'mere! I'll bite yer legs off! C'mere!"
She struggled to move, but the weight of her ingested contents slowed her down so much that she collapsed from exhaustion and fell into a food coma. I rubbed my temples with my fingers, trying to reduce the frustration level. Eventually, I just sat down and ate apples until I was finally full, which took a while. Lena laid on the ground, snoring peacefully in the position of a splayed-out giraffe.
'Hopefully she'll wake up soon enough to get some excercise.'
My thoughts were interrupted by a loud roar coming from behind me, which also woke Lena up. I spun around quickly and saw a pretty big manticore headed our way, tail ready to poison. Lena shrieked loud enough to make ears bleed.
'Oh snap,' I thought as it tackled me across the river.
It knocked my breath out as it landed on top of my ribcage and growled. I snarled right back at it. It seemed a bit taken aback, until it decided to jab it's tail into me, which it did, right in the left shoulder. I yelled in pain. After all, it doesn't feel pleasant to have the equivalent of a knife jabbed into you. The cat stared down in satisfaction. Obviously, it was expecting me to start screaming for mercy against it's poison. I decided to have fun with it.
"That tickles."
Okay, maybe not the best line, but the manticore seemed to look very confused. It tried to jab it's tail into my right shoulder this time, only to be met by an enlarged scale.
"Tsk, tsk, tsk, hairball. The same trick won't work on me twice, especially if it didn't work the first time."
The large feline snarled at me, and I roared right back, ruffling it's mane and making it's gums flap comically.
"Wouldja watch where you blow that thing's drool!?!" commented Lena from the other bank.
I merely grinned. Focusing once more on me, the manticore tossed me up in the air and caught me in it's mouth.
"Oh sugarsticks." *CHOMP* "Hey, that didn't really hurt so bad." *CHOMP* "I barely felt that." *CHOMP* "*wheeze*, okay, that was better..."
The manticore finally spat me out and looked around for a more chewable victim. In case you can't guess, it's Lena, still bloated. The monster licked it's lips and was about to leap when I whistled at it. It turned around and was met by a super-speed punch in the snout. It roared at me. Now, it was personal.
I noticed more of a twinge in my shoulder, where the beast had stung me. I clutched my chest. My heart sped up.
'I get it now. I'm a bit more resistant to it's poison, but if it stays long enough, it'll get to me.' I looked in horror to my left shoulder as my heart began humming. To my surprise, it wasn't even swollen. Suddenly, a bit of my green blood forced it's way out of the open wound, jetting out a good foot. Surprisingly, it boiled. I grinned at the manticore.
"Poison doesn't work on a guy with boiling blood," I said as I sped around to it's back.
I hit it squarely with my open palm and it crumpled to the ground, it's back making a cracking sound. It straightened itself out with some effort and limped off to the forest, hissing at me. I hissed right back at it, making it limp faster away from me. I leaped over the river and shook Lena, who had fallen into another food coma after the manticore targetted me.
"What?... Five more minutes mom," she blurted out, hitting the ground again. I retracted my claws and slapped her across the face. "What was that for!?!" she yelled, angry at me once more.
"Since I just saved your life, I figured I would be able to have a little fun. Now stand up and get walking. We want to get as far as we can today, and our supplies are stocked up."
"I don't wanna. I'm too full."
"So you're too full, eh? I think I can fix that. How about a quick jog around the forest." Her eyes widened at this.
"NO!"
"Oh, but I think we must. You can hardly move."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" I grabbed her by the hooves and started running around the forest.
The noises coming from the bushes were so grotesque that I can't even come close to imitating them. Therefore, I'll just tell you that she hurled, vomited, barfed, spewed, blowed chunks, tossed cookies, up-chucked, was sick, flapped-at-the carpet, yelled-at-her-shoes/hooves, retched, rainbow-yawned, threw up and horked for 17 minutes and three fourths without taking a break.
"Feelin' alright in there?" I asked, leaning casually on a tree trunk. She hurled once more and then glared lasers at me, green finally disappearing from her face.
"I'm gonna kill you for this."
"I know. But it was worth it!!!"
I burst into laughter and collapsed on the forest floor, tears coming to my eyes as I held my sides. Lena's horn glowed suddenly and vines sprouted straight out of the ground, curving till they loomed above me, dangerously sharp. I didn't care. I kept laughing at the thought of her emptying her lunch into the bushes. Her eyes narrowed further, and the vines jabbed into the ground around me. I continued to chuckle maniacally. Until the last vine pierced my right arm
"OW!"
"You had it coming," she remarked as the vines disappeared into the ground again.
I examined the wound. A hole was in place in the bicep area. Green blood poured out of the wound, but it didn't trickle far. It just floated to the edge of the wound and stayed there. 'Note to self: ticking off Lena is fun, but dangerous.'
"You know what's funny right here? It barely hurts. It stings a little, but it's not like it makes me scream in pain. At first, it hurt a lot, but now, I can barely feel it."
I grinned again as I thought about her vomiting. She stuck her face right up next to mine and looked me in the eye.
"I've said it before and I'll say it again. That. Never. Happened," she threatened. I sighed.
"Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my ey...DOH!"
She nodded, satisfied. Evidently, Pinkie Promises were famous. Or maybe she was just kin. The pink hair/fur and red mane were pretty close colors. Then a question struck me.
"Hey Lena, why didn't you just teleport back to your house after you had gotten what you were looking for?"
She mumbled something I couldn't understand.
"Beg pardon?"
"I-I can't say."
I folded my arms at her.
"Not gonna happen."
I raised a non-existent eyebrow.
"No."
"You get sick with teleportation too, don't you?"
She blushed in embarrasment.
"N-NO!", she denied.
I didn't shift my gaze.
"Yes.", she muttered. "I got sick whenever I teleported short distances, so I never worked on the spell. Now I can't teleport to save my life. Literally." She sighed. "Listen, you can't tell anyone about this. Barely any unicorns can actually teleport, so I had a lot on my back because of my ability to output enough energy in two different points in space and actually put them together."
She was a lot calmer than beforehand.
"My lips are sealed." She smiled gratefully.
"You really aren't an ordinary dragon, are you?"
"Nnnnnope."
"Well, we're almost to my house. Let's get a move on."
We started walking again, and I took another look at the wound of mine. By now, it didn't even tickle, and the scab was fully dry. I shrugged. 'Another great mystery of my body.'
"So why'd you think I could teleport, anyways?"
"I dunno, I just kinda thought all unicorns could teleport."
She gave me a funny look.
"Why the heck would you think that?"
"Well," I said, scratching the back of my neck, "Well, I heard a little about unicorns teleporting, you know, just kind've a pop and that's it. Doesn't sound too complicated..."
She facehooved. "You truly are a moron." She removed her hoof and gave me an 'Are you serious' look. "It's hard enough to teleport the way I do it, energizing two different points and then jumping the distance, but 'just a pop'? Do you realize how much raw power that would take? That's a unicorn with the power of a monster"
I shrugged as we moved on a bit more. We continued in silence for a few minutes, until...
"So Scales, what are you going to do next?"
The question hit me like a ton of bricks. I hadn't even thought of that before. All my thoughts were focused on just taking Lena to her home.
"I have no idea," I responded.
"Seriously?"
"Eeeyup."
She seemed to ponder a bit before responding.
"Well, I wouldn't know what you should do. You're good at pretty much anything you put your mind to."
"I'll probably just explore, walk around, that kind of thing, looking for adventure and whatnot."
Silence reigned supreme for a while, as we walked through the green landscape. I noticed a particular arrow on a tree. Looking at Lena, I raised an eyebrow.
"Trailmarkers. We're getting very close to my home."
As if on cue, we rounded a tree and there it was, a rather large cabin in a clearing of green grass that stretched probably a few miles.
"That road right there goes into Equestria. I get all my supplies that I can't get myself from there. Now let's hurry up, I'm dying to be home."
She started to gallop towards her house. My smirk plastered itself on my face. As Lena ran, she saw a green blur to the right of her.
"Rather slow pace this is, what?" I said with a slight British accent.
Her face contorted into a challenging and determined grin.
"This ain't half what I got."
She sped ahead of me, as I had planned. I caught up to her easily, examining my nails nonchalantly as I ran backwards. She looked at me in disgust.
"Show-off."
I shrugged.
"Gotta show my superiority somehow."
She rolled her eyes as we approached her cabin and slowed down.
"Well, here we are. Welcome to my humble abode," she said, bowing comically as candles were lit.
"Nice place you got," I remarked.
"Thanks."
At that moment, I remembered something that I had been thinking about, which involved the blink hound furs and teeth.
"Hey Lena, are you any good with making enchanted objects and the like?"
"Well... Somewhat. Why?" I put my mouth up to her ear and whispered my idea to her. "Ummm... Scales?"
"Yeah?"
"... Why did you whisper that?"
"... I have no idea. But let's get started."
I slung the furs off my back and took them to her workshop, as she called it.
Princess Celestia frowned as she sipped some tea with Princess Luna. The moon alicorn was chatting amiably to her sister about subjects best known to herself, but the sun-raiser had her thoughts elsewhere.
"Tia? Hellooo! Is there anypony hidden in there? Luna asked, waving her hoof in front of Celestia's face. Celestia woke up from her daydream.
"My pardons, Lulu. I haven't quite felt myself these past few days."
"Whatever for?"
"I'm not quite sure. Two or three days ago I felt something strange and different, and it's been bugging me ever since." Luna raised her eyebrow.
"I wouldn't worry about it quite so much dear sister. Nothing unusual has been reported in Equestria."
"I suppose not." Celestia's face brightened. "But listen to you! Your manner of speech has greatly improved."
"Thank thee, Tia." Luna replied, sipping her tea.
Well, fifth chapter finally complete. Sorry it took so long, but I was kinda stuck for a bit, wondering what to do next. Have fun.
When we were finally done with our magical project, it had been 2 whole hours. The finished result was a pair of interesting magical articles, which we tested extensively to see if they worked.
"So what was that magical herb called again?" I asked Lena.
"It's called rhadia root, and it is pretty rare, but a lot of the things I've come up with need it, though I'm not sure of the reason."
"And how exactly are these things going to work?"
"Easy. The amber, emerald and amethyst will recharge with energy from the sun, or heat, or whatever else possible while not in use, and when you require it's abilities, you merely turn the knob here. The effects should last a good time, given that it's properly charged, but there should be a time limit, though we're not sure what it is."
I nodded, picked one of the objects up, lifted a scale in my chest and dropped it in. I grinned at her stunned face.
"Somethin' I picked up on guard duty. Automatic pockets. I don't want Physics mad at me just yet."
She smiled and let it drop.
"I'll fix a little supper. Tomorrow you can decide what's next for you. Take a look around the house. I built it myself."
I raised an eyebrow.
"All by yourself." She grinned.
"Started out as a little cabin, but telekinesis makes things go quite a bit faster."
I nodded, impressed.
Walking around the house, I found that she had a bedroom as well as a guest room with a couple of beds. I chuckled and silently flapped my wings a few times to see if I would fit, hovering over them.
"Not even close to my size," I chuckled out. A yell from Lena caught my attention.
"So the pink one actually has a sense of humor. Didn't expect that so much." I sat down at the small table and observed the food she had set out. "Bread, fruit, hay and salad. No kiddin'."
"Clam up and eat your grub." she said, stuffing herself with salad.
I observed a distinct lack of something important, to say the least.
"Um... Lena? Silverware?"
"Whatever for? I have magic, and I don't mind you just eating." I shrugged.
"Whatever floats your root beer." She stopped eating for a bit.
"Root beer? I don't drink alcohol, but I've never heard of beer of roots." I chuckled.
"One. Whatever floats your root beer is an expression, like whatever floats your boat. It means do what ya want to do, because I don't mind most of it. Two. I don't drink alcohol either. Three. Root beer is a non-alcoholic beverage, made in some manner from sassafrass. One of the greatest drinks that have ever visited sentient life."
"How do you know so much?"
"I used to have a lot of time to think about things, and being curious certainly helps." She shrugged.
As I knew I would probably be able to out-eat her, I let her be full before cleaning up the scraps, including the hay, which wasn't too bad.
"Better get you accomodated to the guest bed."
"Lena, I already tried that, and believe me, I'd either break the sides with my feet or I'd break it with my weight. I'll just find a tree to hang from and keep watch. 'Sides, I'd never be able to sleep well with you in the near vicinity."
"Whatever floats your root beer," she said, grinning.
"Well, good night. I'll just be my batty self and drift off to dreamland. Good night."
"Sweet dreams."
"After spending a couple days with you, nobody would be able to have anything but nightmares."
"Har-de-har-de-har-de-har." she replied sarcastically. "Get outta here, ya green monstrosity."
I shook my head and headed out the door, eyes on the nearest tree which could probably support my weight. I fluttered next to it and turned upside-down, my talons wrapping around a thick branch as my wings wrapped around myself for warmth and comfort. I heard two small fireflies near me.
"Now there's something you don't see every day Chauncey."
"What's that Edgar?"
"A dragon acting like a cocoon."
"Oh, I don't know Edgar. You never know what's going to be the next big fad amongst neither dragons nor ponies." [/hr]
I woke up to the light of dawn and poked my head out of my scaly container. Without bothering to open my eyes, I let loose a pretty darn big yawn, smacked my lips and scratched my stomach.
"That was something I didn't need to see." I opened my eyes to see Lena standing there.
"And a good morning to you as well. I trust you slept well, as I was still able to hear your snores?"
"Yeah, laugh it up big guy, breakfast is ready."
With that, she turned around and left me hangin'. I took a claw off the branch and grabbed the trunk of the tree, my sharp toenails driving into the wood quite easily. I slowly walked down, one step at a time, before stepping on the ground and running towards the cabin.
After breakfast, Lena confronted me with the question.
"So what now?"
"I've been thinking. I believe I'll go around Equestria for a while, see what it's like, maybe train a bit. After that, I'll probably visit you again. By that time, I demand that you have a solid grounding in teleportation. I want you to be able to teleport into a tree at a moments notice when I come back, or else."
"Or else what?" I sighed.
"Lena, you never say 'or else what'. Never. It just sucks all the threat out of it. But think of it this way: I'll be having a lot of time to think of a decent punishment. Bear that in mind."
She winced as she thought of it. Apparently, she still had a little bit of fear. Understandable. We stepped outside.
"So I guess this is good-bye?"
"For now." I winked at her. "Keep yer chin up, and just do me one favor."
"Which is?"
"Don't get eaten." She smirked, and then gave me a small hug.
"Thanks for all your help, Scales." I grinned.
"No problem. Thanks for your time. See ya later, Bubblegum."
"Adios, dragon."
"I never did mention to you that I could speak Spanish, did I?"
"Spanish?"
"Probably something like Sponyish or something like that around here. Anywho, cheerio, ta-ta, arrivederci, adios, au revoir and all that jazz." I saluted her with two fingers.
"Hold up a minute there. You're still going to need a map and stuff." Out of nowhere, she came up with a map, a compass and a sextant.
"I don't know how to use the sextant," I confessed.
"Instructions are on the side."
I moved a scale on my back and deposited the items there.
"Thanks, Lena." I started a light jog.
"Other way, genius!", she shouted at me.
"I knew that!" I said, running away. [/hr]
Canterlot Castle... Again
Celestia woke up with a start in her humongous bed, in a cold sweat. She got up and shook herself, trying to convince herself that it was a mere mistake in her powers.
"Yes, that's it. Merely a glitch in my sensors," she said, adjusting her crown in the mirror. "Aw, who am I kidding? Something is up, and I don't like it."
"Tia? Are you all right in there?" Luna's voice floated through the doors.
"I'll be right out, sister," Celestia responded. She stepped outside the door to reveal a preoccupied Luna.
"What is wrong, Tia?"
"I'm not completely sure. A strange new power has manifested itself, and it's headed into Equestria."
"Is it dangerous?" Luna asked, worrying.
"I don't know yet. All I know is that it's nothing we've ever seen before." Luna put her hoof on Celestia's shoulder.
"Then all we can do is try to intercept it and interrogate or control it. Now how about some breakfast? I believe there is a new coffee cake down in the kitchen."
Celestia's eyes brightened immediately as she galloped down the hall.
[/hr]
Back to the Dragon
I zoomed across the ground, alternating running with two legs, running on four limbs and flying low to the ground, to get a feel for all three methods. The distances were being eaten up quickly, even though I wasn't going full speed and wasn't getting tired.
'I love this body.' I grinned as I raced through a forest, barely touching the ground as I leaped off tree trunks to keep moving with all four limbs, acting like a very large, jumpy spider. I leaped up to the branches and started jumping and swinging off them to keep moving forward, thinking of myself as a monkey. I came down from a high branch, grabbed another and flung myself into the sky, spreading my wings and flapping. I soared up into the sky and observed the world from above. I sighed at the natural beauty. 'Kinda ironic how I used to be slightly afraid of heights.' I descended slowly and perched myself on the top of the tallest tree around to see the horizon.
"Now let's see... I need to hold it like this, and then do this... Gotcha..." I muttered, holding the sextant up to my eyes and lining it up with the horizon. "So, my next training spot... Northwest."
I jumped down the tree and landed with a large thump on the ground. I carefully looked at the compass lined up and ran straight Northwest. Suddenly, an unknown creature leaped at me and drove me up against a tree. I grunted and looked around, seeing nothing. It hit me again, from my right side, and I got a glimpse of a brown body. I snarled automatically.
I detected movement in the bushes in front of me, and a vicious timber wolf jumped out, teeth bared for puncturing my body. I immediately extended all my claws and punched it downwards with my right hand and scratched it with my left. Then I used my powerful legs to jump up, gaining power for the tail slam I performed on it's toppled body, shattering it. I scowled.
"Come out, whoever you are. I know you are there. The blows you dealt to me were too stealthy to be timber wolves, and you had fur, not sticks. Now reveal yourself." I heard a rustling in the leaves. "Do you talk, or are you merely a mindless beast like the manticores and the blink hounds? If you have a good enough explanation of why you attacked me, I might just let you live." Another rustling was heard. I flipped up a large branch to my hand with my foot and lit it on fire. "Last chance." The leaves to my left rustled more and a brown figure stepped out.
"Alright, alright, I admit it. It was me. Ya got some good senses on ya."
It was a short and squat brown animal, similar to a bear, but with a few differences in it's body structure. I crumbled the flaming part of my makeshift club and sat down on a nearby log.
"Take a seat and let's chat. I'll start. What's your name and why did you attack me?" The creature smiled as he sat down, unknowingly portraying a sharp set of teeth.
"You know somethin'? You're the first actual person to ask who I am before they ask what I am. It gets annoying after a while. Anyways, my name's Grizzle, and I'm sorry about attackin' ya like that, but I thought you were somebody else," the bear-creature said.
"Who?"
"Real obnoxious red dragon with quick legs. He comes by here from time to time and bugs the heck outta me. I got sick of it."
"So wait, wait. How could you mistaken a green dragon for a red dragon?"
"I was lookin' around for heat, not color." I nodded.
"That's understandable. You know, I think I might have met that red dragon."
"Oh really?"
"Yeah. Lean guy with out-of-place muscles, whiny, about a head shorter than me. I gave him a pounding a couple of days ago in Sunny Desert." The bear's eyes twinkled.
"Well, I'm certainly glad someone handed it to him sometime. So who are you?"
"My name is Scales. I'm a sort of an enhanced dragon, and I'm pretty quick on my feet and in my brain. Now if you're not too offended, I am pretty curious as to your species." Grizzle chuckled.
"Well, you're not the first there. I usually don't give that much info about my kind, but I can tell I can trust ya with the knowledge. We call ourselves Hybridians, and most all of us live in a place a long ways from Equestria. I'd prefer not to tell why I'm over here, so close to pony land," Grizzle began.
"Very well, I won't press ya. Please continue."
"Anyways, all us Hybridians look very different. We're all beings that are basically a little pinch of other species built onto a main body. Me, I'm mostly bear, and my other most noticeable trait is wolf, followed by a bit of eagle. I'm also part snake in my senses and part pirahna in my teeth."
I noticed all of these traits on him. A short brown hairy body with thick arms and big hands with long claws. His fur was streaked in some parts with grey, and what appeared to be roly-poly fat was, to my surprise, pure muscle. His head was more dog-like than bear-like, having a sleek snout and pointed ears. Slung around his right shoulder and going down below his left arm was a belt with various pockets on it. I guessed those were what held the items he had. On his back, obviously stuck in the sling, I could see a weapon, a hilt of one, peeking over his shoulder. His infrared vision was clearly by snake and his teeth were present as he smiled.
"So now for my question. Hmm... Where'dja get that wound in your arm?"
I looked over to the wound Lena had made. It was a scab now, and much smaller than before.
"Just put it this way: don't annoy something with the ability to summon sharp vines. Well, you can, but don't push it too hard."
Grizzle chuckled. He was a jolly one alright.
"So, I'm just throwing this out there. Are you, by any chance, related to draconequuses?"
His smile faded slightly as he pondered a bit.
"That's a good question. Frankly, draconequuses are close to us, but much more powerful. We don't really tend to interact much, because, well, we don't need to. Their goals vary, but they're normally not so evil, they just want to do what they want to do. An example is Discord. Guys nutty, but not really evil. He'll do what he needs to do to have fun, and just does it. That doesn't mean we're all okay with it, but we don't interfere. For us, it's mostly just get on with our lives, have fun along the way, that kind of stuff. Another difference between us and the dracos is that they have a basic body structure that's common to all of them. They're all long and pretty skinny, with two wings and such and such. Hybridians can have four legs, two legs, six legs, horns, no horns, wings, no wings, and so on and so forth. Does that answer your question?"
"Yes, that'll do nicely. I'm just naturally curious."
I lit a fire on the shattered corpse of the timber wolf and grouped all the sticks together.
"You're immune to fire?"
I nodded.
"Kinda comes with being a dragon, don't it?"
"I suppose so. So anyways, what say we have a little spar before nightfall? It'd be a nice workout fer both of us, I reckon."
I grinned.
"If ya li...Oof!"
I was interrupted as his fist connected with my stomach, sending me into a tree. I smiled as I stood up.
"Alright. Let the games begin."
I cracked my neck to the sides. As he threw another punch at me, I managed to catch it with my now insane reflexes, but he proved to be stronger.
"Whassamatta? Can't hold my muscles?"
His left fist connected with the side of my face.
"Though I may lack in strength, I make up for it in speed, agility and smarts."
I crouched down and leaped up into the trees, the ground beneath shuddering from the sudden absence of matter. I picked out a shoulder scale and chucked it hard down at Grizzle. He grunted as it struck him in the stomach.
"Just be thankful that I can make it sharp or dull!" I yelled down at him.
He trotted into the bushes and disappeared.
"Hello mate," he said from behind me.
I turned around to see him floating with a giant pair of brown wings as he punched downwards on my scalp. "I toldja I was part eagle."
I landed on the ground easily. Then I too disappeared. Grizzle's face showed obvious confusion as he hovered in mid-air. I quietly floated close to him and knocked him into the tree. He chuckled.
"You're not too shabby. Let's put this fight back down on the ground."
He dropped, claws digging inside the tree trunk, slowing his descent. I revealed myself and folded my wings, dropping. At the last possible second, my feet braced myself and I landed without harm.
"There's more to me than meets the eye," I remarked, an almost sinister smile playing on my lips.
We headed at each other and leaped, claws ready to dart ahead and damage the other person. Before we got there, to his surprise, I flapped my wings and sped over to the right, accelarating before practically bouncing off a tree, then off another one and then coming at him from behind. I clubbed him and landed.
"Like I said, speed, agility and smarts."
He smiled as he came up from the ground.
"I gotta admit to ya, yer better than I expected. But don't think that you've won yet."
He came at me with a new ferocity, mostly hitting me with devastating punches while I dodged merely a few. He never let up enough to give me the chance to attack him. I tried grabbing one of his hands and striking with my other, but he merely slapped it aside and kept punching me. Finally, with one fluid move, he sent me sprawling on the ground, unsheathed his weapon and ended, panting, near my throat. I chuckled.
"Good match. You beat me."
I stared up at the massive blade. It was black metal, with veins of blue coursing through it. Grizzle sheathed his weapon and helped me up.
"Yer not so bad yerself. Ya just need a bit o practice and training."
"Yeah, well, so far, I've had a bit more luck with my body."
"How so?"
"Well, in my previous fights, under the most stressful situations, my body had given me a hormone much like adrenaline but way stronger. That substance is most undoubtably what ensured my victories against the blink hounds and the dragon."
"Well then, I'm certainly glad I didn't have to fight against it. Why didn't I have to, anyway?"
"I suppose because I wasn't hurt enough nor was in deep enough danger. But it's kinda for the best. I go a little bit feral when it happens, even if I control myself. I wouldn't want to hurt you. By the way, about that weapon..."
"Yup, that's a pretty common specimen of Hybridian metalwork and magery put together. Durable and powerful, that's how we make 'em."
"Well, I'm certainly glad to have met another friend."
"Friend?"
"Of course. Why wouldn't we be friends?"
He simply grinned happily.
"You know somethin'? You're not an ordinary dragon."
I smiled as I hung upside-down from a tree, ready to sleep.
"I get that a lot. G'night, Griz."
"Night Scales."
[/hr]
The Castle of Doom and Despair... NO YOU DIPSTICK! IT'S CANTERLOT CASTLE!!!
Princess Celestia sweated as she reviewed her guards. 'Strong, strong, strong, weakling, weakling, strong, strong, pathetic, strong, average...'
'Sister, you aren't taking this very well. Stop worrying so much. You can't take the strain,' Luna said telepathically.
'No Luna. This is serious. Whatever it is is close to Equestria, and I don't want to take any chances. Are your hidden spies in place?'
Luna telepathically sighed.
'Yes Celestia, now please just take a break and eat some cake.'
'Very well, Lulu. Just be sure to alert me if something happens.'
'Don't worry Tia, it'll be alright.'
Whoops, sorta went a little overboard here. Anyways, hope you enjoy the new chapter. Grizzle is a dude that just popped into my mind today in the shower, so I hope he's acceptable. On behalf of me, Scales and everyone else in this story, thanks for reading and keep your stick on the ice.
I woke up to a crackling sound near me. The sun was already up and going on it's route, shedding it's light wherever it went. I turned my head to see that Grizzle had ignited a fire, by some means best known to himself, and was cooking some meat over it. I licked my lips hungrily and detached myself from the tree from which I was hanging, doing a 180° turn before landing squarely on my feet. I yawned and drew my wings in close to my back. Grizzle looked up at me, a smile on his face.
"You smile too much. It's creeping me out. Your teeth are just savage."
His eyes twinkled.
"I can't help it. I smile through thick and thin. I find amusement out of pretty much anything."
I shrugged. "What's cookin'?" My sensitive nose probed the air.
"Deer. Couple o' bucks walked in this mornin'. I thought ya might want some breakfast."
My tongue darted out as I sniffed the odor of meat. Grizzle handed me an entire leg and I seized it, tracing every detail of the succulent flesh as it sizzled and crackled in my hands. 'Dang, I've missed meat more than I thought.' I hungrily took a chomp at it, ripping a chunk out and passing it to my cheeks, where my sharp teeth soon put an end to it. I chomped again, taking a piece of bone as well, which also ground to a fine powder at the mercy of my jaws. I wiped my mouth as I swallowed and prepared to gorge myself again.
"Dang, Scales. Take it easy, there's enough fer both of us."
I merely grinned. "You sure?" I said as I ripped another massive piece off of the leg.
"I was..."
Grizzle, not about to be left without breakfast, seized another leg off the steaming carcass and took a bite. I grinned as he tried to chew the meat, but was left with a mouthful that wouldn't chew down. I took another chunk out of the deer's leg and chewed it with ease. Griz finished his bite and took another, only to strain as he tried to fit the previous bite down his throat. I stopped eating for a few seconds.
"Hey, take it easy. I won't eat all of it. You're gonna strangle yourself if you keep going like that."
Grizzle pounded on his chest, struggling to get it down, before finding relief and sighing as his comestibles found their way to his stomach.
"Maybe yer right. I got caught in the spur of the moment."
An hour later, Grizzle was sitting down, his arms resting on his full stomach as he burped. I was in the sky, the quantity of food I had ingested not bothering me in the slightest. I raced to and fro across the blue sea of air, intent on increasing my speed in the skies. As I zipped through the air, I tried to perform sudden turns and aerial maneuvers. 'This speed and control would be sooooooo impossible back on Earth.' I sped up and arched my back, looping around the air as I smiled, enjoying my wings. I dived down towards the trees and started trying to maneuver around them. 'Okay, left, up, left, right, sharp right, barrel roll right, ascend, left, up, descend, barrel roll left, TREE!' *BONK!*
"Ow..." I gasped out from the tree I was embedded into.
I heard snickering coming from the general area of our campsite and scowled. I detached myself from the tree and marched over to the log on which Grizzle was sitting. I stared at him for a few seconds before slapping him upside the head. He continued giggling hysterically as I walked away.
"Ya need some trainin'," he remarked.
"I kinda noticed. It might've been the amount of trees that I've been knocking into."
"There ain't no reason to be sore. Ya shoulda seen me during my first flyin' days. Hoo boy, that was a doozy."
"Oh really?"
"Yup. I finally mastered it after a lot o' practice. Just keep tryin', and don't ferget ta practice yer fightin' skills too." I turned this idea over in my mind.
"Hey Grizzle?"
"Yeah?"
"Do ya think you can show me how to fight better?"
Grizzle chuckled at me.
"T'ain't my place ta show ya how ta fight. You're a whole different structure with different abilities that I couldn't ever mimic. Take a look at my arm." He held out his meaty appendage and I observed it. "Now what do you see?"
"I see a hairy, gray-streaked brown thick muscly arm that could punch through a tree if it wanted to. It ends in a large hand specialized in slapping with great force and not handling things easily."
"Precisely, Scales. Now hold out your own arm and describe it, from outward appearance to how it feels when you use it."
"My arm is a long green limb covered in scales of hard proportion, able to fuse together and create a near impenetrable shield. The muscles are long, sinewy and stringy, able to move with astonishing speed but lesser strength. It ends in a hand with precise-moving fingers with moderate claws, useful for picking things up and touching... I get it now. You can't train me because I'm so different. I can do things you can't, and you can do things I can't. My abilities are so far from yours that we can't begin to imagine what life would be in the body of the other's."
Grizzle nodded.
"Yer a lot smarter when ya put yer mind to the task. I can't train ya because of that exact reason."
"Do you know anybody who might be able to?" Grizzle stopped to think.
"Well... As a matter of fact, I might know someone who could train ya."
"Who?"
"His name is Shardisius. He's a pretty old specimen of a Hybridian, but he still had it in him the last time I saw him. He might be able to help with your training, as he's a speedster himself."
"Where can I find him?"
Grizzle shook his head. "I'll warn ya once: he's not the most peaceful soul around. His pet is proof of that. He's also a good fighter. Real good. And to top it all off, he's got a short fuse."
I was adamant. "Where?"
"Do ya have a map?" Without a word, I lifted my back scale and handed him my map. He observed it. "Our current location?" I pointed it out to him easily. He nodded. "It's a pretty long way. To be accurate, on the other side of Equestria, here." I nodded and patted him on the back.
"Thanks Grizzle. I'll be going there soon." He grinned.
"Just be sure to stop by soon."
"And how will you know not to attack me and to show yourself so I can find you?"
"I don't know. Screech or something. Roar in a special way."
I carefully reviewed this idea.
"Worth a shot."
I spread my wings and climbed into the sky, intent on finding a call that I could use. I opened my jaws and tried to vibrate my vocal chords in such a way so as to create a unique sound. What came out sounded like a cat being strangled while horking up a hairball.
"Okaaaaaaaaay, not the best sound."
I tried again, bringing out my signature roar.
"Nah, that's too common for me. I need something that will not be a battle cry. Well, third time's the charm."
I vibrated the chords once more. The sound was of me hacking up an iron sphere, which fell on a tree and bored itself into the wood. I blinked rapidly.
"That happened. I'm just gonna say mineral deposits."
Down on the ground, Grizzle was holding in laughter at the horrible attempts I was making to bring a sound out of my throat. I finally landed in front of him and shrugged.
"I don't know. Maybe I just can't do a unique sound. Hold on a sec..." I darted off into the bushes as I felt the need to commune with nature again. "Dang reserves."
[/hr]
A couple hours later, I made my way back to a disgusted Grizzle.
"Never try to wipe with a pinecone," I said, wincing.
"How long was that?"
I grinned. "Somewhere around two hours. Ya see..."
"I don't wanna know."
I shrugged and turned away. "So anyways, I seem incapable of making a sound that is unique."
Grizzle raised his eyebrow and stomped on my tail. I roared at him.
"OI! That's my tail!"
He shrugged. I grumbled and flew off into the skies. For some reason, it was always a comforting feeling to soar high. I climbed higher and higher till I was above a cloud and gently touched down on it. I spotted another cloud higher up and soared up to land on that one too. This was pure delight. The cloud was cushioned and there was enough cool moisture to calm me down. Lying this way, the forest below me and the skies in front, I couldn't help but feel triumphant for no obvious reason. I felt a growing sense of accomplishment inside of me and let it out. To my surprise, it sounded like a cross between a songbird whistle and an eagle's screech, with the volume of a foghorn. When I landed on the ground, Grizzle was wearing his usual smile.
"Got it." I told him.
"Ya sure did, kid. Ya sure did."
"Hey, how did you know I was younger than you?"
"It's pretty easy ta tell. It's in yer actions and yer lingo."
I shrugged. "Whatever. It doesn't really matter to me. Anyways, I'm going to go. I'll see ya around, Griz."
To my surprise, he took my outstreched hand, pulled me in and gave me a manly hug(emphasis on manly).
"Be careful out there."
I pried him off me.
"You got it." I patted him on his shoulders and checked the map and the compass. "Thanks for all your help, Grizzle."
"Before you go," Grizzle said, "I just want you to know that in my books, you're an honorary Hybridian. I mean, look atcha! You've got more than just dragon blood there." I smiled.
"Truer than you think. And thanks." With that, I set off to the west. [/hr]
Canterlot Castle
Celestia sighed over her tea. It seemed like everything was fine the other day when the mysterious force was staying put, but now she could tell it was on the move again. Luna shook her head in resignation.
"Sister, you must step out of this attitude that you are in. It will do you no good when the power finally arrives."
"Luna, I cannot help but feel worried for my subjects. Something so unknown is troubling."
Suddenly, the door to the dining room burst open and in walked Prince Blueblood, in all his shining glory. Celestia sighed as the troublemaker sat down in his appointed seat.
"Ugh, such weeds for breakfast again? I so do loathe cabbage in the mornings. Servant, I demand that Chef Gourd Mane makes me something more suited to my noble taste."
A nervous stallion standing next to the royal pain stammered out a hasty 'Very well' and made his way to the kitchen. Celestia spoke up.
"At ease, Vant Jones. The prince would do well to eat his veggies in the morning."
The servant shyly made his way back to the table.
"And Blueblood, you should stop bossing everypony around."
The posh unicorn rolled his eyes and excused himself from the table.
"Oh very well, Aunt Celly. I suppose I shall have to make a meal out of my hidden chocolate cake hoard, which is hidden where you will never find it."
Celestia narrowed her eyes as the prince turned his nose up and marched out of the room, a smug smile on his lips.
"Luna, who raised him?"
The moon princess giggled. "Don't worry about him. I already found his so-called "hidden" stash."
Celestia's smile lit up expectantly. "And?"
Luna giggled again. "Have you ever heard of that one pepper that even dragons find spicy?"
Now Celestia laughed. "Luna, you always did know how to cheer me up."
Screams started to come from the other end of the castle.
[/hr]
I had settled down to a peaceful jog, taking in my surroundings as I trekked through a field. A smile played on my lips as I observed the rabbits playing. 'Great, now I'm a dragon who actually thinks bunnies are cute.' Up ahead of me, a very familiar sight was waiting for me. I cautiously approached the entrance.
"So this is Everfree Forest."
[/hr]
Ponyville Library
Twilight Sparkle was, for once, in bed. Spike took her a sandwich and a glass of orange juice,
"But Spiiiiiiike...", Twilight whined. She was sick with the flu and was feeling pretty miserable. "I need to study."
"No buts, Twilight," said Spike, "You need to stay in bed and get some rest until this disease goes away from you." Twilight sighed in boredom. Spike wasn't letting her up anytime soon. "Now just get some sleep. Too much night-thinking weakened you enough so tha-*BELCH!*"
"SPIKE!" Twilight interpreted this noise as merely another rude thing Spike had done.
"It wasn't my fault Twilight. Princess Celestia sent us a le..."
The door banged open before he could finish.
"GET WELL PARTY!!"
Pinkie-Pie burst open, party cannon ready to blast, with the other four mares behind. Rainbow Dash immediately tried to restrain the party animal.
"Calm... Down... Pinkie..."
"Howdy there, sugarcube. You holdin' up okay?", asked Applejack.
Twilight grunted in frustration.
"I'm being kept away from my books, and you ask me if I'm okay?"
"Well Twilight, I should think that you should be a bit more accepting with your friends who come to visit you when you are sick rather than your books that keep you up all night," expressed Rarity.
Twilight rolled her eyes.
"Um, Twilight?", began Spike, holding up a scroll and waving it.
"Not now, Spike. I'm talking to my friends." She didn't even bother to look at Spike.
"Um, well, Twilight, um, maybe you should listen to Spike for a little bit. I mean, if that's what you want to do," whispered Fluttershy softly.
"Hmm?" Twilight shifted her gaze over to Spike, who had now opened the letter and was ready to read. "Oh, sorry Spike. I didn't know you had a letter," Twilight apologized sheepishly.
"Ahem.
To my faithful student Twilight Sparkle,
I was very upset to hear the news that you were sick. I certainly hope that you get better soon. However, that isn't the only reason I am writing to you. It seems that there is a strange new living power in Equestria now, and I don't know it's intentions, be they good or evil. Please report back to me if you see anything unusual around, but be careful and don't go looking for it. It is most likely very dangerous.
Your mentor,
Princess Celestia. And that's the end of it." Spike rolled up the letter. "Gee Twilight, what do you think the power is?"
"Well, if even Princess Celestia doesn't know, it must be something like we haven't ever seen before."
"WowTwilightdoyoureallythinkitissomethingnew?!Ishouldthrowapartyforitwhenitcomeslikea"WelcometoEquestria, StrangeNewPower"partyoh-mi-gosh-oh-mi-gosh-oh-mi-gosh mmmmfffmmmfffff!" Pinkie was interrupted by a cyan blue hoof being jammed into her mouth.
"No Pinkie, I don't think this will be the sort of thing you can throw a party for," said Twilight.
"Awwwwwww..."
"Twilight has a point there, darling. You didn't throw Discord a welcome to Equestria party, did you? No, of course you didn't. Now, it would be different if it needed clothes..."
"Rare, ah don't think that this thang will let ya take it's measurements, much less actually wear a sweaty monkey-suit that you made for it," expressed Applejack.
"Are you insinuating that the quality of my clothes is so low that simians would wear them?!?!", yelled Rarity.
"Oh, um, girls? I really don't think that we should, um, you know, fight like this. I mean, after all, if we fought again and the power was a monster, we wouldn't be able to, well, use the Elements of Harmony," reasoned Fluttershy in her usual quiet way.
Twilight face-hoofed.
"Look, let's just get back to our lives, and if anypony sees anything at all, come here and we'll send the princess a letter, okay?"
This earned nods all around. All the other ponies then left the library, leaving Twilight to wallow in self-pity.
[/hr]
My head popped out from a bush, along with the rest of my body.
"That was... unexpected. Now, I think that the exit out of the Everfree is just a few steps... Whoa!"
I stepped out from behind a tree and immediately, I was standing on soft grass which had several flowers on it. I breathed in fresh air and sighed, before I heard a sudden 'Eep!' coming from my left. I looked in that direction and saw a familiar yellow pony with pink hair, looking at me in fright. I raised a claw in greeting. Immediately, Fluttershy took off, leaving a trail of smoke behind her. I was too astonished to do anything.
"Um... hi?"
In the distance, I saw the beginnings of Ponyville. Suddenly, a trail of green smoke lifted into the air and sped towards a castle in the distance.
"Okay, so, that was a letter. For what? I have no idea."
A few minutes later, a troop of 6 ponies was headed towards the cabin. I recognized all of them. 'Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Pinkamena Diane Pie, Applejack, Rarity and Fluttershy. Hold up, are those the princesses there?' I strained my eyes, and sure enough, there were the two princesses, Celestia and Luna. 'Well, they noticed me quicker than I had thought they would. Whatever. I'm sure we can get along. Right? Right? Right?' At this point, Celestia noticed me and ran what seemed to be a full scan on me. Then she turned to Luna, who nodded. 'What in tarnation?' I asked myself in confusion.
Suddenly, both Celestia's and Luna's horn lit up, a sphere of energy forming on each, to be shot at an angle and to intersect with each other. The gray resulting orb hung in the air suspended for a moment, charging.
"Dragon, prepare for capture for explaining," Celestia said.
The gray orb shot at me at a great speed. My last concious thoughts: 'Sweet mother of meat, I'm sooooo dead.'
Hey there everybody. Hope I'm doing a good job with this thing. I'm doing the best I can to capture each pony's personality while throwing myself into the mix. I bet you thought Scales would get to Shardisius this episode. I'll tell ya now, I have other plans for him. Also, if you hadn't noticed, I'm not into swearing, so you can be safe knowing that there will be no words that should be offending. Thanks for reading, and keep your stick on the ice.
Status: Unconcious. Unharmed except for massive headache
Memory boot... Data received
Celestia and Luna attack...
Unconcious...
Captured...
Location: Canterlot and/or dungeon...
Server boot...
Hearing... Engaged
Touch... Engaged
Taste and smell... Engaged
Sight... Error. Error. Eyes not open
Command code OPEN EYES
My eyes abruptly flew open and I sat up immediately, fully awake. I took in my surroundings. I was lying on a cushy bed, and my back was not happy about it. I twisted to both sides, earning a few satisfying pops. To my left was a small table with a glass of water and a bowl of... something. I took a sniff at it and snorted. Whatever it was, it would probably taste like a glob of... I don't know what. A glob of something unpleasant that somehow passes for food. 'I wouldn't eat that if I was starving in the desert. At least the water looks alright.' And it did. It was clear, fresh, and had no particles floating in it. My slim forked tongue darted out, wrapped itself around the glass and tipped the contents into my mouth. 'Refreshing.' I wiped my mouth and observed my surroundings.
I was definitely in a cage, and a weird one at that. It had the table, the bed and the chair. Nothing else. Just a black floor and a black ceiling. Oh, and to prevent my escape, there was a series of yellow bars of what I presumed to be was magic. I tentatively tossed a scale at one of them. Immediately, the yellow turned to blue and electricity coursed through the scale till it was sent flying back. 'So, the glowing yellow bars of magic will hurt me if I touch them. Go figure.'
A door outside my cage(Duh) suddenly flew open and in came the two princesses, followed closely by the mane 6. Knowing that they hadn't seen me yet, I got a sudden inspiration and turned invisible. When the group arrived, immediately they all gasped. I chuckled and slipped out of camoflauge, sitting on the chair backwards, my arms resting on the backrest. The faces of the ponies were all of annoyance, except Celestia's, who wore a smug grin.
"Is there something wrong? Why are you not attacking us?" she said.
I grunted and picked up the glass with my tongue. Then I tossed it to a glowing bar, where it shattered. The ponies all stepped back to avoid the glass shards.
"I'm not stupid, Celly. And I'm civilized enough to not attack everything in sight, despite the fact that you gave me this vicious headache with that stunt of yours."
The look on a few ponies faces demonstrated that they didn't expect me to talk. Twilight outbursted.
"How could you dare to call Princess Celestia by that name?! You don't even know her!"
I didn't move.
"Well, Twilight. I figure that I just want to call her that, and so I do. That is how I dare. And by the way... What in tarnation are you trying to feed me?!" I picked up the bowl of tannish gruel. "I mean seriously! This stuff is absolutely repulsive!" I chucked the bowl towards them, and it hit a bar and exploded, scattering it's contents all over Luna. "Pardon me there, Woona. I got a little caught up in the moment."
Rainbow Dash flew up to the edge of the cage and scowled at me.
"Just WHO do you think you are?! You call the princesses weird names and you spill... whatever it is all over one of them! And how do you know who we are?!"
I slithered closer to the bars and grinned maniacally.
"Rainbow Dash, you should control your temper. As for my name, simply call me Scales. And I know a lot about all of you. More than you would guess."
"Oh yeah!? Prove it!"
I chuckled.
"My my my, such an eager little pony. Very well. You, Rainbow Dash, are the fastest pegasus to fly the skies yet. You are the only one to succesfully break the sound barrier with an added chromatic effect, which you have called the Sonic Rainboom. You are also the Harmonic Element of Loyalty. But for all of these faults, you have a light temper problem, as well as an over-inflated ego. Did I say enough?"
Dash stared at me, flabbergasted. Applejack spoke up.
"Alright there, pardner. If ya know so much about us, try givin' me a little spin."
"Alright. You, Applejack, are an earth pony who lives and works at Sweet Apple Acres, a farm boasting of the finest apples in Equestria. You have two siblings, Big Macintosh and Applebloom, one older and one younger. You have a grandmother named Granny Smith and a host of other relatives dispersed across the country, growing apples in their orchards. You are the Harmonic Element of Honesty, able to detect lies in most creatures easily. You are strong and friendly, but you, like Dash, have a shorter than ordinary temper and a certain degree of pride, though to a lesser extent. You are also quite hard-headed, not walking away from a fight easily. Is that enough?"
She looked at me with stunned surprise.
"How dost thou know so much about our lives, worm?" demanded Luna, who had by now cleaned up the sticky mess of the porridge stuff.
"Frankly, I don't really feel like telling. Too bad for you, Woona. And you, Twily."
Twilight's ears dropped, and she put on a puppy-dog face up to Celestia, pouting like I had just taken away her lollypop. She didn't take any notice. Her horn was already lit up and she had a dangerous scowl on her face.
"You will tell us what we want to know, beast." Her horn started to let off sparks. I shook my head. "So be it. Prepare for unbearable pain, lizard."
I was about to reply with a witty comment, but she never let me finish, instead choosing to fire a yellow bolt at me. I screamed. It truly was unbearable. My vocal chords vibrated in protest to the totally uncool treatment. A long roar forced it's way out of my throat before she finally stopped. Fluttershy let out a shriek and dashed behind Pinkie-Pie, who was, along with the other ponies, marvelling at the sight. I fell to the floor, gasping and covered in magic burn-marks.
"Are you ready to spill your guts, or do I have to spill them for you?" threatened Celestia.
From some darkened corner of my twisted mind, an evil chuckle escaped.
"Dear Celly, that was quite rude of you. I wouldn't have thought that you were such a torturer. But enough of this. I feel as though it is time for me to make my exit."
Luna answered me this time.
"THOU CANNOT ESCAPE THIS CASTLE, NOR EVEN THIS CAGE! THE MAGIC SPELLS PREVENT THAT!", she exclaimed with fury, using the Royal Canterlot Voice.
I rose to my feet.
"So that was the RCV. Most impressive. However, I think you will find that I can and will make it out of here."
The scale on my chest opened up, and the artifact I had made with Lena landed in my palm and adhered to it. I showed it to them. It was a large medallion-coin, and it showed a carving of amber of a face looking straight ahead. The right side was of a dragon, and the left side was of a pony. It was divided down the middle, and the image had it's mouth open. The eyes that adorned it were sparkling green emeralds, and the mouth was a piece of amethyst. Rarity's eyes gleamed.
"Where did you ever get such a marvelous thing? It looks just beautiful! I must admit, the sculpture is a bit off-putting, but it looks like with a bit of work it would be fabulous! Might I fix it up for you?" I shook my head. "Well, why not?" she asked, mildly annoyed.
"This amulet wasn't made for beauty, but for a purpose."
With one of my sharpened claws, I slowly rotated the image 180°, where it automatically flipped over, leaving the original image, but mirrored. A clear magical aura, looking very much like water, spread over my hand, then my arm, and then went over my whole body, healing the magical burns and leaving me with relief. I cracked my neck and sighed satisfyingly. Celestia immediately tried to hit me with another beam. I grinned and the backs of my hands fused their scales together as I crossed my arms and quickly uncrossed them, intersecting at the point where the spell was and sending it straight to the wall.
"Not gonna work this time princess," I taunted. "This amulet renders me unaffected by most spells, and reduces most damage in more powerful ones."
The ponies looked at me slack-jawed, probably not believing me, but shocked to see Celestia's spell repelled so easily. I grinned and stepped through the bars, the yellow energy fizzling as it struck my clear coating.
"H-how did y-you do th-th-that?" stammered Twilight.
"I had a little help from a friend. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go."
I spotted a large window in the wall and darted towards it, swinging my fist at it and succesfully shattering the glass.
"FOOL! YOU HAVE NO WINGS AND WE ARE HUNDREDS OF FEET IN THE AIR!", thundered Luna.
I quickly extended my wings.
"Um, duh, they fold. I can't believe you thought I was a wingless dragon. Then again, you did call me worm and lizard. Aw, what the heck? I'm rambling here. Adios, pandilla de inútiles," I said as I vaulted out the window.
I adjusted my wings and soared downwards, heading for the ground at a great speed. I finally came to a halt by crashing down into the ground in the gardens.
"Stop, dragon!", shouted a voice to my right. Twilight Sparkle was assaulting me, closely followed by the rest of the mane 6. She let loose a purple energy bolt straight at me. Using my amulet's force to my advantage, I easily caught the spell and held it between my two hands. She gasped.
"Magic-proofed, remember?" I threw the orb back at her, and it exploded in front of her, sending up a wall of dust so thick she couldn't see through it.
When she finished coughing and the other 7 had caught up to her, I was gone.
"Where did that yeller-bellied varmint get to?", demanded Applejack.
"Congratulations! You all just earned an achievement. Worst observers ever." They all looked back and there I was, floating casually in the air in a reclining pose. "Now, what say we get this insane chase on just like in the cartoons? Does any background pony have a saxophone they can play a goofy tune with?"
Almost immediately, a brown pony with a silver mane and a yellow saxophone as his cutie-mark came right out of the bushes.
"I can do that!" he said.
"Perfect. Now, music, maestro. Catch ya later, equines."
I dropped to the ground and ran towards the maze, the brown pony playing a tune that just fit the mood perfectly and drove me over the insanity line.
"After him!" said Celestia.
All the ponies started running(or in the case of RD, flying) towards me, but I accelerated to keep them at bay. When Twilight appeared in front of me, I hastily jumped into a bush.
"Pinkie!" she shouted. Immediately, the party pony put on a sinister grin, jumped behind Twilight and rotated her tail, sending a stream of lasers towards the bush. It was being destroyed.
"If you don't mind me asking, why are you peppering that particular bush?"
Pinkie looked over her shoulder to see me leaning nonchalantly out of a different bush, picking my teeth with a twig. She immediately swiveled and started peppering the bush I was in now.
"I'll get you now, dragon!"
"I say, that bush isn't a dragon. You may need to get your eyes examined, dear Pinkamena. On the other hand, if you want a dragon, I suggest trying the flowerbed for some dragon-snaps."
She looked behind herself again and dropped her jaw as she saw me standing in the middle of yet another bush, a monocle in my eye.
"Come come now, it's rather rude to stare."
By this time, the others were watching and were equally astonished to see what I was doing. Pinkie gritted her teeth and started shooting Twilight's horn at my bush and any other bush in target range, yelling out:
"Where are you, pest!? I'll get you now!"
She was distracted to hear a familiar voice come from Luna's direction.
"Hey Luna, when was the last time you washed your mane?"
Everyone whirled in astonishment to see my head poking out of Luna's starry hair.
"I mean, space is supposed to be big, but a guy could get lost in here!"
I jumped out of her mane and ran towards the nearest tree.
"Hold it right there, Scales!" said Rainbow Dash, taking off after me.
She was too slow, though. I jumped up in the tree and she soon followed me. My head and shoulders appeared out of another tree. I quickly said "Mibs!" and darted back in. Coming out of a different tree, I again said it. "Mibs!" This repeated various times, with me going faster and waiting less time before changing trees. "Mibs! Mibs! Mibs! Mibs! Mibs! Mibs! Mibs!" The ponies looked at me in shock.
"Oh, h-he's acting like Pinkie-Pie," whispered Fluttershy.
"Indeed, Fluttershy," affirmed Luna.
"Oh no! Now there's TWO of them!" exclaimed Rainbow Dash.
"Two Pinkie-Pies you say?", I said, popping out of a tree with a confused look. I disappeared and revealed myself right in front of Luna, staring into her eyes from 4.3 millimeters away. "THE FUN HAS BEEN DOUBLED!!!!"
Two red circles appeared under Luna's eyes before I ran off into the maze. The brown pony was still playing his sax, and this was the part where it would be awesome. [/hr]
Somewhere distant, beyond the reach of the universe, in another reality inaccessible to all but the inhabitants of that area, a host of beings were in a circular room, seated and discussing things with their neighbors. Suddenly, one of them, a blue figure with red eyes, fell from his chair and cradled his head, moaning in agony. A pure white one rushed to his side and tried to help him up.
"Are you okay, Physics?" it asked in a clearly feminine voice.
The other replied with a deeper masculine voice.
"Oh, I don't know what I'm going to do, Order. Pinkie-Pie alone was bad enough, but now there's another one!"
All the other figures nodded their head solemnly. Physics was not easy to break, but once it was done enough, he was severely damaged.
[/hr]
Back to Our Story
I ran between the hedges, trying to stay away from the ponies for as long as possible. My eyes had a lunatic gleam in them as I cackled and ran around the maze. I stopped in a section with a lot of topiary, and, eyeing an empty pedestal, I climbed onto it, arranged myself into a pose and turned my body green with leaf images all over. 'The perfect disguise.' Rainbow Dash came storming around the corner and entered the area.
"I know he went in here somewhere."
She looked around with a steely gaze. I tried my best to contain my laughter. She was walking not 3 feet away from me and still didn't see me. At the other entrance, Applejack suddenly appeared and Dash immediately tackled her.
"Ah-ha! I gotcha, Scales!"
"Calm down, sugarcube. I admit I'm not lookin' ma best, but don't confuse me with that creep," retorted the earth pony.
"Sorry, AJ. I was just so close behind him! I almost had him, and I woulda pummeled him into submission!"
I held in a chuckle. Even after seeing two whole seasons of her, and listening and seeing her in person, I still had a bit of trouble admitting she was female. 'I mean come on! The raspy voice, the attitude, heck, even her figure isn't all that feminine.' The two friends went out to search for me. However, I couldn't quite go yet, for whistling his way along came the gardener with a pair of shears. He observed me intently.
"Seems like that one could use a bit of a trim."
He picked up the shears and started to move them towards me. I broke my pose.
"OI! Watch where you poke those things!"
I scampered off, still disguised as a piece of vegetation. He blinked a few times.
"Ah told the doctor I couldn't take that medication but noooooooooo..."
[/hr]
I rushed through the maze before pausing and putting my sensitive ears to work. I heard somepony bounding my way. I grimaced.
"Pinkie-Pie."
Then my face brightened, and my lips curled into a devious smile.
[/hr]
Pinkie's POV
'Gee, I wonder where Scales is. I hope I can throw a party for him. It would be so much fun. I wonder if he likes cupcakes? I like cupcakes. I like the word. How come they call them cupcakes? They are like mini-cakes, but they don't have a cup. They should call them small-cakes, or something like that, but they're not really cupcakes.' I bounded along the garden with a happy smile on my face. I was looking for Scales, and maybe I could throw him a PARTY! I looked to my left and I looked to my right.
"Oh hi there me-who-is-right-there-and-is-copying-everything-I-do-like-it-is-a-mirror. Do you like parties?"
The other Pinkie-Pie said the exact same words as me, and I nodded when she asked me if I liked parties. She nodded too.
"Hold on a minute! I'm Pinkie-Pie, but you're Pinkie-Pie too. There can't be two Pinkie-Pies, can there? But hold on. I know that you're there and that you're Pinkie-Pie, but how do I know that I'm here and that I'm Pinkie-Pie? Oh, listen to me, I'm rambling on and being silly. There can't be two Pinkie-Pies so that must mean you're a *gasp* IMPOSTOR! But wait, how do I know I'm not the impostor. I know! PINKIE-PIE IMITATION CONTEST!"
I did a special little Pinkie-Pie dance and looked over at the other Pinkie. She was doing the same thing! I rubbed my chin and she did the same, but mirrored. I know! I brought out my party cannon and let it blast. She had one too! Confetti fell down from where the cannonballs collided. My hair straightened out and hers did too.
"Maybe you are me. Maybe there are two Pinkies and I'm not that special anymore." I felt miserable.
"Don't worry Pinkie!", said the other. My face brightened a bit. "I'm not really you." Her hair was poofy and she was smiled. "Say Pinkie..."
"Yeah?"
"Have you ever seen stars in a hoof?"
"Hmmm... Let me think... I've seen stars in the night sky, but I've never seen stars in a..." *DONG!* "hooooof." I fell down backwards, my tongue lolling out. "Hey look! Stars!" [/hr]
Scales' POV
'Glad that's over. She was getting a bit annoying. But it was fun. I just hope she doesn't get me for this. Yuh-oh, here comes Celly and Woona.' I took off in a streak as the two alicorns waltzed up to Pinkie. The last thing I heard was:
"Oh, hello princesses. Hey Celestia, have you ever seen stars in a hoof?" *DONG!*
I snickered as I moved along. I heard someone else come along in a big hurry. Judging by the soft footfalls, it was Fluttershy. My quick-thinking brain came up with something. I quickly disguised myself as a buffalo and lit a small fire in front of me. Fluttershy came softly around the corner as I gazed into the burning embers.
"Oh, um, excuse me sir, but, um, have you, by any chance, well, seen a dragon around here?"
I nodded.
"Well, um, could you tell me where he went. I mean if that's okay with you," she added hastily.
I nodded and pointed my arm, now disguised as a buffalo hoof, to the right.
"Him went thataway," I said in a real cheesy indian accent.
"Thank you, mister Buffalo."
Fluttershy quickly bounded in the direction I pointed. I smiled. 'So cute and naÏve and innocent.' I quickly shimmered back to my old self and dashed in a different direction.
[/hr]
They finally had me cornered against a stone wall. I could probably fly away, but they would get me pretty easily. I had been airborne for only four or five days, after all. Celestia, without a word, took 6 objects out of a bag and passed them to the mane 6. With horror in my heart, I realized that they were the elements of harmony. 'Well, time for me to skedaddle. I've been here for 6 and a half hours, and I need to get going.' I tried to move my feet, but they were stuck to the ground. I quickly shot a look at my amulet. 'Shoot! Power's out!' I took it off my palm and calmly dropped it back into my neck pocket. Twilight shot a smug smirk at me. A low rumble came to my throat. I crossed my arms and put my lips into a scowl.
"I suppose I should congratulate you. Too bad it took ya 6 and a half hours. Still, ya caught me. Congrats." It was obvious that they had stopped listening. The elements started to glow, and beams shot out in my direction, striking me one at a time before all 6 joined together and I blacked out.
And chapter 8 is officially done. I had fun writing this chapter. A lot of fun. And as for what you're thinking? "Celestia the torturer, it's unheard of!" Well yeah, I sorta did that. Too bad. Anyways, you can guess what just happened to Scales. Thanks for readin', and keep your stick on the ice.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIT!!!!"
Pinkie? What are you doing here?
"I'm buying pizza. What do you think I'm doing? I'm breaking the fourth wall and now I'm going to make you see stars!"
Well... Cliché?
"I'LL GIVE YOU A CLICHÉ!" *BANG*
Pinkie... The frying pan hurts. Uh, Pinkie? Pinkie? What are you doing with the chainsaw? Pinkie? PINKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!
My eyes snapped open. Or they would've, if I could move them. I had been dozing with my eyes open. In front of me stood Princess Celestia, with every evidence of satisfaction portrayed on her visage. I tried to say a witty remark, but my lips seemed to be glued shut. An examination of my surroundings confirmed my suspicions. I was now stone-faced. And stone-bodied. 'Well... Crud.' Celestia walked away, towards the castle.
"She's gone now. I'll bet ya 140 bits the new guy's crazy"
An oddly familiar voice sounded in my head, one that sounded like a lunatic. It was responded to by a voice devoid of all emotion, as if it was a book being read in the same tone. Clearly femenine, but still deep.
"I accept that challenge. He will be serious and intelligent, unlike you.
I was confused.
'Um, what?'
"Heeheeheeheeheeeeeeee! He hasn't even the slightest idea of where he is!", announced a third voice, higher pitched than the first one and a bit more... happy in a creepy way.
'Well, judging by my current condition, I would guess that I am resting on a podium in the Canterlot Castle Gardens. Am I not correct?'
The emotionless voice responded.
"You are correct. Discord, I believe that would be 140 bits for me." The gears in my head started to turn.
'Wait, Discord? The draconequus? I've heard about you. Ya know, I'm almost as nutty as you.'
I could hear the sounds of coins clinking and then they stopped.
"I told ya, Meat-mare. He's crazy! He admits it! Pass over the bits!"
I could see now what was happening. Ah well, might as well enjoy it.
'Well, I suppose I might tell you how I got here. But first, hold onto your bits.'
"Awwwwwwwwwww!"
"You heard him, Discord. Hand over my bits and hold onto yours. I'm sure he has an explanation," said the deep voice, whom I now identified as "Meat-mare".
'Yes. Turns out, I'm both nuts and sane. I've got my screws tight as can be, and then it turns out I'm missing one. It's complicated. Ya might call it chronic insanity. Any questions?' The third voice spoke up.
"I HAVE ONE! How did you get into a statue? We've all got a back-story. Meat-mare was the most gruesome killer in Equestria. All she could feel was cruelty. When she got imprisoned, she was left without emotions, as she couldn't be cruel. Discord, I'm sure you've heard of him. Head chaos nutjob. As for me, everyone calls me Sigmund the Shattered. I fed off of insanity, and to do that, I had to make others insane. And I was good. Too good..." I swear I could hear him lick his lips.
'Okaaaaaaay... Well, I'm Scales, and I'm not too sure how I got here. I'm travelling across Equestria, and 8 seconds after I step out of Everfree after crossing it, Celly and Woona hit me with a stun bolt and I wake up in Canterlot.' I could hear them murmuring at my references to the princesses as Celly and Woona. 'So I wake up in a cage, break out, go a little bonkers, annoy the heck out of the mane 6 and the princesses, and they finally corner me and use the elements.'
"Oohhhh, I'm going to love spending a few years with you," commented Discord. "Miss Gruesome is too boring and Siggy is too stuck-up to actually have some fun instead of talking about himself. I'm so glad you came along. Everyone else in this blasted park doesn't even have the guts to contact us. I have an idea. How about a wacky tea party?" Before I could respond, I was suddenly sitting at a table which was suspended in midair, me not being the consistency of stone. Discord sat across from me, yet upside-down from my current position.
"Umm... I don't believe I'm familiar with this method. Care to elaborate on what you just did?"
"It's really quite simple," expressed Discord, taking a cookie and shoving it up his ear. "You are basically dreaming, and I am in your dream. It's what keeps us from becoming truly bored cooped up in these statues."
I shrugged and sipped a cup of tea, holding the cup upside-down and drinking it through the ceramic. My "guest" nodded in approval.
"Ingenious, if I do say so myself. Would you get me some sugar?" I smiled.
"One lump or six?"
"Six and 5 eighteenths, if you don't mind."
I nodded and waved my hand. Out of nowhere, a baseball bat materialized and struck Discord on the head 6 and 5/18 times. Don't ask me how that is possible. I'm dreaming, for goodness sake.
"Let's see, that's one, two, three, four, five, six, six and 3/18 lumps. Hmmm... Where did the remaining 2/18 go?" One of the lumps on Discord's head grew a tad bit more. "Ah, there they are." A new voice surged out of nowhere.
"Alright, tuna-face! Teatime's over! We're gonna use this time for training!" I scratched my head in confusion. I knew that voice. "Yer darn right ya know my voice! I'm you! Now get your lazy bum offa that chair and get ready to feel PAIN!" A black portal opened up to the right of me and sucked me inside.
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait!!!!", yelled Discord, but it was too late. I was already spiraling somewhere else. I looked around at my surroundings when I finally stopped. I was in a vast white plane, with no visible floor. Just whiteness, and my shadow.
"This is a cliché."
"I don't care if it's been done 15 million times before, we're doing it!", yelled the voice.
Some random particles came together in front of me. The result was a duplicate of me, but somehow more professional.
"Who are you?" The mirror me cleared it's throat.
"I suppose I can answer a few questions. I am you, or rather, the you within. The you that has all of your abilities and more experience. You are currently in a very deep layer of your subconscious. This is where I am going to train you."
"But wait just a second. This is my subconscious, right?" The other me nodded. "So that would mean that my physical strength and speed don't actually augment. My body doesn't grow, since I'm in stasis. How will this help?"
"A very good question. Let's think back. Do you remember playing the piano? Of course you do. What often happened while you were playing songs? Don't answer, I already know. Your fingers remembered the song involuntarily. It was a muscle memory. That is what we're going to do here. We're not going to get you stronger or faster. I'm going to teach you how to fight well, and fly well, and run well, and do other things well, because when you come out, you will remember this and remember how to do it. As an added bonus, your mind will become stronger. Any other questions?"
"Yes, I would like to know..."
"About your enhanced adrenaline." I nodded. "That is actually me, adding my strength to you. We will also work on having that happen easier, instead of just situations of dire peril. Now, let's get started." The ground below my feet disappeared. Instinctively, my wings opened and started me hovering. An entire forest appeared in front of me. "Fly through this as quickly as possible."
I stared. The branches were moving.
"Crud."
The other me pushed me in. 'Hey, whaddaya know. I can feel pain in here. This is going to be a looooooong imprisonement.'
Celestia walked through the garden at dusk. She went from statue to statue, often establishing connection with a few to see their thoughts. She grinned mischieviously as she interviewed some of them. Her wandering eventually led her to the wing of more dangerous statues. The Meat-mare. She shuddered. That was 1800 years ago, and she really knew how to kill. Sigmund the Shattered was on her left. She grimaced as she remembered the insanity that she was forced to experience. A bit further up was Discord. He was now held tighter than ever, as the Elements of Harmony were used by more suitable wielders. And then, her newest addition.
He was standing, appearing perfectly calm, mouth closed, unlike many of the others. His arms were crossed in resignation, and a scowl adorned his face, identifying him as one who accepted fate, but still had his rebellions. Celestia noticed something was a bit off in this statue. After careful examination she realized the answer in shock. His eyes were blank! His pupils were not there, even though they had been before. She decided to figure out what he was thinking of. To her horror, he had a mental barrier up too strong to penetrate in the short amount of time she had in the gardens. She turned to Discord.
"What is the meaning of this?", she demanded of the chaotic beast.
"I don't know, Celly" Celestia narrowed her eyes at being reminded of the behavior of the dragon. "He's been like that for a few hours. One minute, we were enjoying a tea party, and the next, he was sucked into a swirling black portal and I was ejected." Celestia pondered this, until suddenly and without warning, Scales' eyes rolled back into their proper positions.
"What brings you here, dear Celly? Surely it would not be to visit such a lowly, guiltless person such as myself?", he taunted. Celestia nearly snarled, before gaining her composure.
"I often make checkups on those that are in stone. That said, what was going on in your head? You were obviously plotting."
"That information is hereby classified."
"Can you tell me why your eyes were in that position?"
"Classified."
"Why did you have a barrier?"
"Classified."
"Is there anything I can ask you that isn't classified?"
"Maybe. There's only one problem with me telling you that."
"Which is?"
"That information is classified too."
Celestia growled in frustration.
"Hear this, Scales: I am not a pony to be messed with. Sooner or later, your guts will spill. It does not matter if you spill them or if I do, but your guts will be spilled."
"Yeah, good luck with that. I'm stuck inside a stone, go ahead and try. It's not like I'm going anywhere anytime soon. Now get going. I think you need to get some shut-eye."
"And why is that?"
"Men's intuition. That and the fact that you have been directing your questions at a blueberry bush. Cheerio, Celly."
Discord's voice spoke up in my head. "You know, there is one word which describes her current condition perfectly."
I mentally nodded and all four of us said the same thing simultaneously.
"Owned." I chuckled.
"Now that that's out of the way, how long was I unresponsive?", I asked.
"You were oblivous to us for between 6 and 7 hours," responded the Meat-mare.
"Really? I could've sworn I was in there for double that. How does that work out?" I heard a voice coming from my left shoulder. Straining my eyes, I could see a ghostly image of me standing there, arms crossed.
"Me and your mind work faster than you realize. You're gonna spend a lot of time in there, so I suggest you get used to it." I recognized the voice as my mirror-man.
"Well, that explains it," I said, or rather, thought.
"What explains it?", asked Sigmund. "You're nuttier than I expected. This will be fun..."
"C'mon, don't tell me ya didn't hear him. He's right there on my shoulder," I explained.
Discord laughed.
"HA! You are crazy! You're even seeing things!"
Mini-me whispered in my ear.
"Don't waste your thoughts. They can't hear nor see me."
"And why are you whispering?"
"I'm insane, just like you. Now, try to get a little sleep." He smirked. "We're going to make you feel pain tomorrow, and we don't want you to have a tired mind and thus, get lower results now, would we?"
"Fine. Good night everybody. The beast within me is gonna work me hard tomorrow. Don't ask."
And with that, I somehow broke off connection and prepared to enter dreamland.
Man, it was chaotic inside my brain. Seriously, there were doors everywhere, going in places dark, places light, colorful, gray, fun, serious, just plain wacko, and some who's images would haunt me. I learned to explore a bit and found that I could access quite a few details from my memories that I couldn't have even remembered while I was awake. Things like songsheets I had only glanced at and images that I had forgotten long ago. Not to mention the rooms that just were filled with something wierd. There was a room full of peanut butter. Peanut butter. And the in between rooms were just chaotic. The doors moved around, all different shapes, sizes and colors, shifting positions so I could remember where a door led, I just couldn't find the door unless I bumped into it. 'Celly, I never thought I'd say this, but being trapped inside my mind is better than I thought. I can do anything in here.'
I grabbed a bit of cotton candy from a nearby bunny and stuck it on an ice cream cone. I hungrily took a bite out of it. It tasted good, and actually filled me up a bit. 'I guess dream food is the best I'm gonna get. Now, let's see if I can dream something up.' A bright flash illuminated the room I was in.
A monocle was stuck in the eye of one of my unusual lunch companions. A top hat crowned him and a black cane rested at his side. Since he had no limbs, a small cup levitated up by itself so he could sip it.
"I say, dear chap, this tea is marvelous. How on earth do you get such scrumptious tea?", he remarked.
"Indeed, Mr. Scales. This herbal essence is far superior to anything that I have ever sampled," complimented his wife.
"Well, that's very nice of you to say, Mr. PB-and-chocolate and Mrs. MFT(makin' faces and tomato). I have a great supplier. Anyways, back to our previous discussion. What is insanity?"
And yes, these guys were sandwiches. Mr. Peanut Butter and Chocolate and Mrs. Makin' Faces and Tomato. The Mr. had a jagged piece cut out for his mouth and two round eyes while the Mrs. had two tomato slices and a triangular mouth.
"Personally, I recall good old Albert Einstein saying that the definition of insanity was doing something over and over again in the same manner and expecting different results."
"Dear, that isn't what we're looking for. That is merely a way to express insanity. Insanity is when you do something that wouldn't ordinarily be done by someone who is thinking logically."
"But you must remember, my dear Mrs. MFT, that many people who are insane often lend a lot of thought as to what they are doing. It is said that an insane man who thinks can be 100 times more dangerous than the sane men who do not think."
"Yes, crumpet. I would think that that isn't the perfect definition of insanity. It's when your mind gets mixed up and you go a bit nutty..."
"Hey, buddy."
I looked over to the side. There was the other me, sitting on the edge of a black portal.
"Can you wait for a few minutes?", I asked, annoyed. "I'm involved in a deep psychological discussion with a pair of animated sandwiches and I'm enjoying it."
"Yeah, no. Work before play, buster." He grabbed me by the neck and dragged me inside.
"Ooof! Not cool, dude. Do you know just how long it took me to get the two of them on speaking terms with each other? Even for my intelligence it was a challenge to actually get them to seem like they liked each other."
"Too stinkin' bad. More training is in order. When you get outta here, you're going to be better than you were before." I rolled my eyes. I then got smacked backwards as something collided with my face. I flopped over backwards. "Today's training involves fighting. Use the full amount of your strength and make your hits effective and precise, putting all of the force of your strike into it."
Something grabbed my arm, picked me up and flung me to the side. I groaned and observed my attacker.
"What the heck is that?"
Standing there and grinning was a black monster, it's evil smile spreading across it's face, with thick stumpy legs and long thick arms tipped with ferocious claws.
"Don't you remember? This is the completed version of a little guy you doodled into existence not too long ago. He wasn't finished, but even so I made sure to make him a worthy opponent for you."
It punched me again, red eyes practically burning holes in me as it wore that ever-present grin. I grimaced and prepared to face it.
"YAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!!!!"
Finally, ninth chapter is done. Sorry it took so long, the final exams are coming up and I'm trying to work hard. Not so easy trying to pass everything in Spanish. Anyways, summer should be a lot faster, but until then, I'll try to update frequently. Also, if anyone wants to make art, that's alright with me. I pretty much stink at making art. Thanks for reading, and keep your stick on the ice.
I would've screamed in pain if my throat hadn't been ripped out. Again. For the umpteenth time. I again was shocked back into the real world, the pain non-existent as if it had never happened.
"What in the name of chaos is going on in there!?", asked Discord.
"I'm being repeatedly killed by monsters of my imagination. And it hurts. Really badly."
"Oh, stop being such a whiner," criticized Sigmund. "I mean, it doesn't hurt that much."
"And how would you know how much it hurts to have your heart ripped out of your chest and stuffed in your ear?"
"Well, um, ya see, uh... no."
"I for one," said the Meat-mare. "Can verify that having that important organ removed and placed in the auditory canal can be," The image of her appearing in my mind licked her lips. "Uncomfortable. I haven't experienced it, but I used to do it. All. The. Time." I shuddered.
"A leeeeeeetle too much information there, MM. I think I'm just gonna sit in this dark corner of my mind and try to avoid any thoughts about you while sucking my thumb."
Stone crumbled around me. I fell to my knees, exhausted, but breathing.
"I really got muscles. I break out of stone baby!" I stood up and examined my biceps. A glint of light brought my attention to a wand sitting on the edge of the pedestal. I picked it up and gave it an experimental wave. Some grass glowed and morphed into huge green butterflies. "Hmmm... Nah." I waved it again and they all burst into flames and turned to ash. A flash of light was detected by me.
"How did you escape, dragon?"
I whirled around and came face-to-face with Celestia.
"None o' your beeswax. Now, face the awesome power that is me!" I swung my arm forward and a beam of magic shot out from the wand and struck Celestia right in the chest.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!", she screamed as it slammed into her.
What was left was, quite frankly, a large tuber.
"You know what? Your clothes always did look a little tatered and torn." I exploded in laughter. "How about this: To ber, or not to ber? That is the question. By the way, you use way too many clichés. Power of friendship, of love, of harmony. You sound like a six-year old."
"I yam what I yam." I started to roast her with my fire breath. All of a sudden, my subconscious popped up. He bonked me on the head.
"I'm the voice of your subconscious, not your subconscious.(Here lies Wall IV. RIP) Remember that, and then forget you ever heard it."
"I don't think that works out the way you think it does."
"Shut up and get in the portal." I grumbled and stepped into the swirling black vortex, my destination being that endless white room that was now familiar.
"What's next? Me getting beat up again?" He chuckled and shook his head.
"Actually, the reason I had those first training sessions be so painful was to see if you would endure. Now we're going to work with simple training dummies." My heart jumped.
"You mean I don't have to fight against those creepy monsters of my imagination again?"
"I never said that. Just because the beginning was torture doesn't mean it's gonna be Celestia and Pinkie-Pies from now on."
A loud booming noise echoed around me. I looked over to my subconsc... I could swear he's looking at me. The voice of my subconscious(whew) and he nodded. A swirl of black appeared and I jumped through, into my more active mind. Discord was standing there. I knocked my fist against his hoof.
"'Sup bro?"
"Visitors are passing. I figured you'd want in on the fun. We always make comments as they pass. It would be funnier if they could hear us, but oh well. C'est la vie. Now come on!"
He smacked my face and my real(real?)-world eyes rolled into position. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a bunch of ponies off in the distance. Sigmund addressed me in his lunatic voice.
"Alright, since you've actually managed to tick off Celestia that easily, we'll let you in on the fun. When somepony passes by, we let loose a world of insulting pain."
"I can do that. I like to annoy people."
The first victim to pass was a lime green pony with a black mane and moustache, nose up in the air as he walked around.
"Does everypony that comes around here act this stuck-up?", I asked my companions.
"Pretty much. Not many others come, perhaps a tourism group or a school field trip, maybe a couple lone sight-seers. That and the princesses, but everypony else, snobs.", responded Discord.
"Well, that's Canterlot for ya. Ooh, here he comes."
The green pony came near us. Now that he was close, I could see that he had a red dollar sign on his flank as his cutie-mark.
"A money mark? Why am I not surprised that a rich dude would have the sign of money?..." The pony stopped and observed us with a contemptuous look.
"Ugh! Why Celestia would put statues of this hideosity in the most beautiful garden of Equestria is beyond me. They are so ugly that they don't even look real. Heavens, this one right here even seems to have the audacity to scowl in the presence of whatever cultured pony comes through here." If looks would kill, the guy would be 6 feet under... 6 thousand feet under, to prevent anyone from digging up the loatheful remains. Discord. Was. Not. Happy.
"I'LL SHOW YOU, SIR EBENEZER SPLIT-PEA GEORGE MICHAEL THE THIRD!!!!" I cut him off.
"Dude, chill. I think I may have a good idea. If he looks at somebody's eyes, do something funky with them. Discord and Siggy can roll 'em around and MM could probably paralyse him." I heard snickers all around.
"Your methods are... interesting, Scales. You have a good idea there." The cocky green snob, still lifting his nose in the air, took a few last looks at us. What he saw, he didn't expect. As he looked into Discord's eyes, the draconequuses pupils swirled around in different directions. He visibly paled and turned to Sigmund, who did the same thing. Turning away from them, he faced the Meat-mare and was shocked by the cold in her eyes. His coat now almost whiter than Celestia's, he slowly swiveled around to me. He calmed down somewhat as my eyes didn't hold much intimidation... Until I let the beast within take over my eyes. The yellow slitted pupils had what I supposed to be a lasting effect on him, as he gasped for breath and fainted.
"Uh... guys? I think we broke him." We mentally blinked.
"Bwahahahahahahaaaahahahahaaaaaaaa *GASP* bahahahahahahahAAAAAAAAhahahahahaa!" Our mental images rolled around and laughed our brains out.
"Did you SEE the look on his face when Scales went all feral?!? That was PRICELESS!!", shouted Sigmund.
"Sigmund, even though I would usually say that we are all laughing because we saw it, I shall have to say that it was quite amusing." Suddenly, Discord stopped laughing.
"Hold the phone one sec. Meat-mare was laughing? The mare that killed ponies for fun was laughing? She's NEVER laughed!" We all sat with our eyes wide open.
"WHO CARES!!! His face was totally unbelievable!", I shouted, starting the guffaws again.
The day went on. Evidently, it was the day for visiting the gardens, for everyone had been coming non-stop. The faces of the ponies that had found the first one out cold were quite confused, but they carted him along to the nearest hospital. From then on, we made fun of nearly everyone without a hitch, but there were some that I just couldn't bring myself to ridicule. I mean, I'm not so mean that I'm gonna make fun of a cute little reporter taking a couple of pictures of me. I'm not that heartless. Some ponies are just there to have a good time or get a job done, and I couldn't really mock that. It was the nobles that I really liked to mock.
You know a funny thing? Inside a statue, you can't feel or taste external things, but you sure can see, hear, and even smell. An odor somehow wafted up to my nostrils, and I hastily tried to snort it out.
"Hey guys, something smells rotten." I had just finished commenting this when who should come clopping around the corner than everyone's (least) favorite prince, the infamous Blueblood. He obviously had an expensive cologne on, but I could sniff right through it to his core, and boy did it ever stink.
"Your sense of smell is impressive. Usually, people don't smell his stink until he is 20 feet away.", said MM.
The arrogant unicorn slowly approached, taking great care to not soil his hooves. He sneered at me.
"So you're the newest addition to the menagerie? Pitiful. I heard that a pony fainted dead away right here on this spot. After seeing you, my decision is clear: It was most definetely the heat and the Meat-mare. You aren't intimidating in the slightest." He continued on in this manner.
"Just my luck. I've got to listen to a prissy stuck-up unicorn who is lecturing me with a monologue. Sheesh. Knock on my brain when we're ready to freak him out, will ya? I'm gonna flip the brain over to Wheel of Torture. Guess who's contestant number one?" I retreated inside my brain, swung the imaginary wheel and started throwing daggers.
I came back from the dream world after having a very satisfying dream.
"And thus, that concludes why I am superior to you in every way." I couldn't help but stare at him. I checked my internal clock.
'That's... 75 minutes of non-stop bragging... Wow. I'll be doing him a favor, putting him to sleep.'
"Hast thou anything to say, beast?"
"Dude, I'm a statue. I can't talk. But I can still creep you out." I let my eyes roll up to the back of my head. I carefully shifted them till the pupils were below my line of vision, taking care not to let him notice, and slowly raised them. His face was a mix of disgust and fear at how I had seemingly rotated my eyeballs 360°. I took a sadistic delight in his expression and let my eyes rotate on their own, swirling around in their sockets like Ditzy Doo's. Now, Blueblood looked like he was going to either hurl or scream in fear.
My eyes slitted together and became the unearthly yellow. If Blueblood wasn't white before, he sure darn was now. His pupils shrank to pinpricks as my creepy ocular organs stared menacingly at him. A loud knocking sound filled the air, which was soon discovered to be his knees. He fell to the ground daintily and slept like a rock. My eyes slowly reverted back to normal as I observed his unconscious figure.
"What a maroon."
The other visitors to the gardens quickly noticed the downfall of the royal pain, and while most of them immediately rushed over to help him, others simply rolled their eyes. More later than sooner, he was carried off to some other place, presumably to get medical attention.
I leaped from tree to tree, doing a midair flip and landing perfectly on a branch. I quickly ducked to avoid a vine being swung at me.
"HAH! You will not get me again, vine number 46! OOF!" I was struck in the back by a branch. I winced.
"Good play, branch number 67." I torched it. The other me appeared.
"You need to greaten your reaction time and your reflexes, to make dodging nearly automatic. It is a very useful skill to have in a fight, and it's even more useful if you do it without thinking." I growled softly.
"Can we do something else? What about martial arts? Can we practice my fighting style?"
"*sigh* Fine." The scene changed to a dusty area with various planks of wood, practice dummies and cement bricks. He picked up a plank and chucked it at me.
"Think fast, Scales!" It struck me full on the nose.
"OW! Y U incapacitate schnozz?" He picked up another plank and tossed it a little slower.
"Come on, break it." I swung a fist down but only managed to smack it down to the dust, perfectly whole.
"Aw, maaaaaan... DOH!" I rubbed my sore head.
"Do ya think you can give a guy a little warning?" He pondered to himself before kicking a brick at my face.
"Nah. Now concentrate all your force into your hand and try to focus it to one spot." My hand struck against the brick and a slight crack appeared in it.
"Not bad. Now do it again." I tried again, with a bit more effort, and succeeded in making a larger crack than before and a small chip in it.
"Sweet! I just broke a bri... OW!" I cradled my jaw in my palm and glared at my torturer.
"Pay attention." He lobbed a few more planks and I jumped, trying to crack them while in the air.
"So I've been meaning to ask you." *Crack*
"Pray tell" *Crack*
"If I'm in my imagination doing all this," *Smash* "Does that mean I need a period of ajustment when I get out?" *Crunch* 'Note to self, wood does not taste good.'
"Maybe a slight one. All that's going on in here is almost perfectly tuned to the outside world. Gravity, mass, density, weight, altitude, strength, speed, it should all be nearly identical." *Smash*
"Okay, I got another question for ya." I landed with a thump. "How did we even get to Equestria? And why me? Why not someone else? Why am I in a different area of the multiverse?"
"That information is classified."
"DON'T YOU EVEN START THAT!!!!"
"Seriously, I can't tell you."
"Can I guess?"
"..."
"..."
"I think so..."
"Okay, let me think... Was it because I died for some reason?"
"Sorta."
"Global scale?"
"Pretty much."
"Planet blew itself apart in anger at humans?" He stared at me.
"You're good."
"I'm not even going to ask how that is possible."
"That's probably for the best. Anyways..." *KAPOW!*
Okay, this chapter is obviously a filler, and a pretty annoying one to write. I wanted to get it over with, but I couldn't bring myself to approach until now. Well, it's done now, so hopefully that's the last of the chapters like this one. Also, Celestia and Pinkie-Pies? Basic translation: It isn't going to be sunshine and lollipops. I see what I did there. And also, the fourth wall? I just had to break it.
"Why? How could you break my wall? I'm going to get you for this!"
Pinkie? Oh crud. Well, I'll see ya next time. Unless Pinkie kills me. And makes me into cupcakes. And feeds me to you. Great, now I'm gonna have nightmares.
"You bet your hide you're gonna have nightmares! I'm gonna rip out your spleen and introduce it to your liver!"
Must we be so graphic, Pinks?
"*eyes narrow*"
Uh-oh. Is that a medieval torture device? Right next to the shark tank? *squeak*
Celestia walked by at dusk with a stone face. The four of us in the area followed her with our eyes, but to our surprise, she didn't stop until she was about to go out the exit. She said a single sentence.
"Excellent performance, dragon."
Then she walked out with what I believed to be a small smirk playing along the edges of her lips.
"What the heck just happened?" I asked the others.
"Apparently, Blueblood is more disliked than we thought.", responded the Meat-mare.
"Go figure."
We all fell silent as footsteps were heard from the other direction. Princess Luna stepped into the clearing, her ethereal mane flowing gently in a non-existant breeze. After pausing for a few seconds, ahe resumed walking and stepped forward in front of me, where she turned to face me and slowly sat on her haunches. Not a word was said. We merely observed each other, sizing each other up while I wondered what she was here for. Finally, she spoke.
"So. Thou art the one who hast caused the chaos amongst us." She stood up and started to slowly walk.
"Indeed," I responded, hoping she was listening in on my brain. "I am the one who has brought ire upon Celly."
Her face was genuinely surprised.
"How is it that thou speaketh in such a manner? It is as though you have many different personalities lurking inside your shell."
"I hath not different personalities, merely different moods, with speech patterns that adapt to the current situation. I see that thou also hast two speech patterns."
"How dost thou know?"
"It is quite obvious. In the presence of those who would rather have you speak the current dialect, thou tryest thine best to imitate their speech pattern, yet in the presence of someone you suspect to be more understanding, you lapse into ye old medieval talk."
She slowly circled around me, observing my features.
"Thou are not a common dragon, Scales. Neither in mentality nor in body structure. Such as this." She tapped the end of my tail lightly with her hoof. "The few dragons that have such tail adornments often have them much smaller, and they usually never grow larger than their eyes, yet thine tail sphere is larger than thine fist."
"'Tis true, I art not ordinary. And, contrary to popular belief, I wasn't here to cause trouble."
She regarded me suspiciously.
"Then why were thou in Equestria?"
"Passin' through. Going across Equestria was a bit shorter than going around, or it would've been, if I didn't get stoned." I lapsed back into my more modern tone. She winced a little and smiled sheepishly.
"Thou hast mine apologies. Tia wasn't in a very good mood that day. She kept on sensing what I can assume was you, and she called it a great and unknown power. She has been a bit concerned ever since the recent incidents of Nightmare Moon, Discord and Chrysalis."
I mentally stared at what I hoped was the fourth wall.
Luna stayed and talked for quite a while. We asked each other questions, and answered them to the best of our knowledge. The other three statues in the clearing were either quiet, or they couldn't get into our mind. I guess it was better that way.
"One last question before I go, Scales. What is thine secret to annoying my sister?"
My eyes sparkled, and I would've grinned devilishly if I could've.
"Well, well, well. I see someone else wants a little tutorial in the art of annoyance. Okay, listen up. First rule: Compassion and pity must be at a minimum. Sure, there's a limit to the people you should annoy, but make that limit the absolute line between annoying and being an absolute jerk. Second rule: You must know everybody's weakness. More weakness equals more possibilities to annoy. Third rule: Take pretty much whatever chance you get. Fourth rule: Pranks are acceptable, but not really the absolute best. Those are the basics. Everything else comes from you just doing things. Try stealing Celly's cake whenever she tries to eat. Maybe give a fake jealousy act, pretend you're being Nightmare again. If she accidentally does something she doesn't mean to do, you subtly ridicule it. If she passes gas, you say...
"That was uncommon of you?"
"Way to spill the beans, sis. Something like that."
"Well, I enjoyed this wonderful chat, Scales, but I must raise the moon. Maybe we might speak again.", she said as she walked off.
"Ciao... Ciao... Chow... I want food..."
I retreated back into my subconscious and proceeded to stuff myself with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Luna stopped by a few more times. She was really a nice gal, and she found that she could tell me her problems and I would listen. By now, I had accepted a bit more the fact that I was encased in stone, and I was in my subconscious for long periods of time, and I actually was getting better. I wouldn't die as quickly. That's an improvement, right? Soon, I was taking a couple at once to help my reaction time, which was noticeably speeding up. And there was another breakthrough. The data. Oh boy, that data. In a fight, data would pour into my head, filling my thoughts with possibilities and information galore, sometimes giving me instructions as if I was playing a videogame, a mechanical voice sounding in my head with arrows and images appearing in my line of vision. I also found out that I could access data files in my mind. Memories, info, all catalogued in mental folders, as if I was a highly advanced computer. I also resumed playing the ukulele, one of the greatest instruments of all time, in my controlled dreams.
It was a visiting day at the statues again. Me and the other three were having our sadistic pleasure in silently mocking the citizens when who should appear around the horizon but...
"Cheerilee? And her class?" I got a mental image of a few episodes of Mrs. Munger. "FIELD TRIP!"
"Hey lookie, everybody! Those are the three fillies that helped me escape last time. 'Course I the shell was weakened after a couple thousand years. I doubt I'll break free anytime soon."
The entire class was there. Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, Applebloom, Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, Featherweight, Dinky Doo, and every other pony in the class. The two bullies were obviously not paying attention to the teacher, instead focusing their attention on the CMC, who were listening a little, but mostly observing.
"...And this, class, is the new area which contains statues of what were once the most dangerous threats to all of ponykind. It includes the Meat-mare, Sigmund the Shattered, the recently moved Discord," Here she gave a glance to the three blank fillies, who twiddled their hooves a little in the dirt. "And the newest addition to the gardens, who hasn't been given an official name yet."
"Are you kidding me?! She didn't even tell the press my NAME?! Celly, when I get out of here, I'm going to kill you."
"Many ponies have reported strange ongoings since the new statue was added, including Prince Blueblood, who was rumored to have fainted on this spot. Ponies have begun to try to name this creature, some examples including Dracozilla, The Scaled Menace, Reptilisius and simply, The Dragon."
I mentally banged my head against a wall.
"Dracozilla? Are you serious? The Dragon? Somepony has a distinct lack of creativity. Reptilisius is okay, but The Scaled Menace? Heck, all I did was annoy a few ponies and sucker-punch Pinkie, which I'm pretty sure she didn't mind much."
"Well, ponies will be ponies." remarked Discord. "They're not the sharpest spoons in the shed, but somehow they're at the peak of the social pyramid."
"Neither are you, Discord." deadpanned the Meat-mare.
"Oooooooooooooooh..." called me and Sigmund.
"Do you smell fire? 'Cause you just got BUUUUUURNED!" I thought to him. Our attentions again riveted on Cheerilee, who had just been approached by what could only be a messenger. She nodded and smiled a little.
"Class? There's been a slight delay. Somepony I know is nearby and she asked to speak to me. Stay right here for the moment, and this kind sir will watch over you."
As soon as Cheerilee left the clearing, the class erupted into speech.
"So how are we gonna git ahr cutie-marks, fillies?" asked Applebloom.
"Maybe you should try squabbling like last time." taunted Diamond Tiara. "You could get a cutie-mark in monster-freeing."
I mentally scowled.
"Dagnabbit, girl, you are one sorry filly. Not only are you a worthless filly, but you're cutie-mark seems absolutely useless. What's it mean, anyways? You're good at wearing tiaras? Pretty useless talent if ya ask me."
Of course, I was mocking her, knowing that only the other three statues could hear me. And I meant what I thought. In my opinion, Diamond Tiara is evil incarnate in the form of a pony jerk. But what happened next was unexpected. Her eyes narrowed, and her teeth crunched audibly.
"Who. Said. That." she said threateningly. I mentally blinked.
"Who said what, Diamond?" asked Silver Spoon. Diamond Tiara whipped her head around.
"You heard it. You couldn't have not heard it. Someone called me worthless and useless. Who. Said. It."
Silver Spoon looked confused.
"Nopony said that. The blank-flanks are absorbed in their discussion, Featherweight is attracting attention over there and nopony else would've dared."
Her eyes narrowed. "Oh, I see. It was YOU, wasn't it?" Silver immediately backed up.
"No, Diamond Tiara, it wasn't me."
"So that's your game is it?" More and more faces were being drawn towards the commotion. "You pretend like your my friend and then you stab me in the back."
"N-no, D-d-diamond, I wouldn't say that about y-you."
She circled slowly around her, dangerously observing her.
"Oh no, of course you wouldn't." she said, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Then who did say it?"
"Diamond, nopony said anything about you." commented Scootaloo. "You must be hearing things."
"Yeah!" agreed Featherweight. "And why would you take it out on Silver Spoon? Isn't she, you know, your best friend?"
She shot them both dangerous looks. "You two stay out of this... Unless you know who did say it."
I felt that it was time for me to try to intervene. If my theory was correct, I was going to have fun.
"Oh, hush your mouth, DT. It's not like anypony should actually listen to you."
Her eyes widened.
"Right there! You must have heard that! Just then!" Heads were shaken all around, denying any thoughts she had. I wondered.
'If I can speak to others using my mind when I try, can I also read their thoughts?' A familiar sight appeared, resting on my shoulder.
"Why don't you give it a try?" said the voice of my subconscious. "It might work, it might not. What is there to lose?" I grunted in agreement and tried to concentrate on the mind of Diamond Tiara. At first, zilch. Zippo. Nada. At second glance, however... still nothin'. I tried taking a different approach, imagining my mind accessing hers with a cable. Lo and behold, time almost seemed to slow down and I heard a voice in my head.
"What is happening to me? I'm not going insane, am I? No, it must be a trick. A trick by those insufferable three fillies with the bare flanks." I smiled.
'Bingo. Let's see what else I can do.' Through methods I could not explain, I was pulled into my mind into a dark room. Suddenly, thousands of images of folders appeared around me, each with a name or phrase on it. They were all moving at once, and to say it was confusing was an understatement. In an effort to make it a bit easier on me, I roared out,
"Alright, calm down and organize yourselves way simpler. Let's start with conscious mind and subconscious mind."
The folders floated still and two more appeared in front of me, each labeled according to the previously mentioned topics. The others started flooding into where they presumably belonged, leaving just the two, bulging. I approached the one marked 'Conscious Mind' and tapped it with a finger, causing the other to disappear and a small stream of folders to come out, marked in different ways.
"Hmm, Memories, Recent Thoughts, Personality, Issues, Friends... Let's check out this one." I pointed my finger at the one marked 'Recent Thoughts' and it immediately opened, displaying a large screen filled with text. "This is uncannily like a computer... I like it." I read some of the entries, and eventually stopped, as I had no very good reason to go poking around.
"I think I'll just have a nice little chat with a few ponies, see how far I can take this."
I swam out of my mind and found that the scene hadn't changed in the slightest. Nopony had even moved.
'Okay, so when I read minds, I do it faster than I think. Sweet.' I established contact with Diamond Tiara.
"Don't worry sunshine, you're not mad. At least, not yet. It's funny how insanity can just suddenly appear, isn't it?"
She looked around in fear.
"Wh-who's saying that?"
"To answer your question, I'm the guy standing a little to your right. No, your other right. A bit further. Okay, you're looking right at me." Her eyes began to look like saucers. "Yes, I'm the big and tall reptile, and I'm talking to you telepathically. Go figure. And before you say anything, just don't. I can read your mind perfectly."
"I must be going nuts." I heard her think.
"No, no, dear filly. You are not nuts, that would be me. I am a telepath. Now close your mouth before a fly lays eggs in there. You ever heard of a breath mint? Sheesh, I can smell your breath from over here, and it ain't pleasant."
"But, why talk to me?"
"Oh, don't worry, it won't last much longer. I'm just gonna say this: Girl, you are a jerk. Big time. If I could, I would mentally slap you so hard you'd fall unconscious. Unfortunately, I can't. Too bad. But filly, stop being such a total high and mighty snob. You're not that important. I mean, seriously, a tiara for a cutie-mark? That's just plain wierd. Oh, and ya might not want to talk about this. Can't have anyone thinking your insane, can we? Toodle-oo." I ended transmition with an evil laugh.
'Oh yeah, I'm gonna have fun with this.'
"I'LL SAY!!" exclaimed Discord. "You can talk to others without them wanting you to! I can't wait to see Celly's face when you do that!"
"And that's not all. I can also read minds, whatever's stored in 'em. Memories, emotions, dreams, you name it, I can probably read it. Heck, inside Diamond's brain there was a folder marked 'Embarrasing moments'. Can you imagine the trolling I can do right now?"
"Typical" remarked the Meat-mare. "He discovers something powerful with excellent possibilities, and all he can think of is how he's going to embarras someone. There's your common dragon."
I gave her the mental 'Are you kidding' face.
"I do what I want with my crazy psychotic powers, and I'm gonna exploit them to my heart's content, and you can't stop me. I can't wait to check out Celly's embarrasing moments. *Cue deranged evil laugh*"
Celestia strolled into the clearing as I prepared for conversation. I heard snickering from Sigmund and Discord and a scoff from MM. Who cares what she thinks?
"How's it going, Celly?" She jumped what I believed was twenty feet in the air.
"21.43" said Discord. I gave a low whistle.
"Not bad." The princess touched down on the ground, visibly shaken. Discord and Sigmund immediately started guffawing, and it was with the greatest of efforts that I managed to keep a stone face...(U Mad at pun?) She adjusted her crown and stared at me.
"You didn't, did you?" she inquired hopefully.
"Eeyup, I did. You know, it's funny how mind speaking can work. You can either think your thoughts, and hope the other reads them, or you can send them out, whether they want to hear or not. Likewise, you can either read the other's thoughts or let them send them to you. And I notice that I am sending my thoughts to you instead of you reading me." I sent her a mental troll image. "U Mad, Celly?" She stuttered incoherently before finally finding her word.
"How?"
"Oh, I don't know. Probably something I had all my life, but only discovered after being stuck in this hunk of stone for a week. You know, I don't know whether to thank you or kill you for this. I could thank you for sticking me in here where I can train my mind, or I could kill you because: 1. I was going somewhere. 2. It can get kinda boring in here. 3. Do you know how much pain I have been through because of that training? I've literally died."
She straightened.
"Your mental struggles are of no concern to me. You are in there for a reason, and you're not coming out anytime soon. Get used to it. And soon, veeery soon, you will spill the beans on where you came from and what you are doing here."
"I've spilled beans plenty of times, and let me tell you, dragon methane is highly explosive. As in, 'hit-the-deck-it's-gonna-blow' explosive."
She gave me a look of disgust and left. I made a decision.
"Hey, inner beast, you there?" He appeared floating in front of me.
"Yeah, outer wierdo?"
"Two words. Intensive training. Hand-to-hand fighting, weapons, information, mental excersize, crafting, magic, the whole kaboodle." He grinned almost evilly.
I finally came out of my subconscious, the strain of training almost making me pant, if not for the stone coat. Immediately, Discord shouted in my head.
"YOU'VE BEEN IN THERE FOR A MONTH!!! I've missed you, ya crazy reptile! Celestia was about to tear ya down and force open your brain."
"Well, ya might want to get used to it. The pain in there gets pretty bad, but I'm gonna do it. Why? Because it'll make. Me. Awesome."
"Not the most noble reason, but reasonable."
"Well, give Celestia my regards, and tell her not to worry, I'll be all right. Catch ya later."
"WAAAAAII..." I was gone again, retreating into my mind for more training. May my mind have mercy on my soul.
This time, I gasped as I appeared in my body, my eyes rolling back into my sockets to see a large group of ponies staring.
"Whaddayou lookin' at?" Their eyes immediately widened and they scattered. I rolled my eyes and groaned.
"What's up?" asked Discord.
"Well, the me inside me doesn't do things halfway. He's practically killin' me with this training, but I'm going to go through with it. He says we're already pretty much halfway done, but he doesn't know yet. How's the fort been holding up?"
"Decent. Nothing big happened. Celly was a bit crabbier and Luna, a bit more wistful, but nothing really serious."
A streak suddenly appeared and there stood Celestia in all her shining glory.
"So, you have finally awakened." She pointed a horn to my chest. "Speak now, what were you doing?"
"Training, now if you'll excuse me, and even if you don't, I'm gonna get back to it. Ta-ta for now, Celly."
"Ouch." I muttered. The last six mental months I had spent training were torture, but I had gotten better. Much better. I could even breathe fire in four different ways: Blowtorch, flamethrower, burning fireball, and my fave, explosive blue fireball. I loved that fireball. One hit to a large tree, and it blew a hole practically right through. Wouldn't vaporize the tree, but you get the idea.
"Finally! I was wondering when you'd come out! Fortunately, for a guy who's spent a couple thousand years in a statue, three months is nothing." I mentally smiled.
"Nice to be back, Discord. You kept my place warm?" He saluted.
"Operation: Troll Celestia has been put into effect and is doing very successfully. You shoulda seen her face when Luna stole the cake she had managed to smuggle out of the kitchen to here."
"Ooh! Hold on one sec!" I quickly accessed his memories and brought up a frozen image of Celestia levitating a plate in front of her, a look of pure shock and sadness on her muzzle. Discord started laughing uproariously.
"That's the one! Bah-ha-ha-ha! The look is PRICELESS!" I chuckled. Being able to copy instructions from your mind and put 'em into somebody else's is useful. "Hey Scales, is that a late-night visitor over there?"
I looked and the figure of a unicorn could be seen. Something about it was familiar to me. A slight glow came from it's horn and a smile lit up my mental face.
"That's Lena!" And indeed it was, Lena, in all her pinkiness, was right there.
"Who?"
"Oh, we met a while ago after I saved her from some beasts. She hasn't noticed me yet, I see. Maybe she doesn't know." As she came up, it was clear she wasa just here to see the statues.
"This is Scaled Awesomesauce calling Bubblegum. *Kshshshhshck* I repeat, this is Scaled Awesomesauce calling Bubblegum. *Kshshshck* Do you read me, Bubblegum? Can you hear?" She looked around in wide-eyed wonder until she saw me, standing there, stoned. Her jaw dropped
"Scales? Is that you?"
"Yup, and I would say 'in the flesh', but that wouldn't entirely be true. And, lo and behold, I have unlocked the secrets of telepathy!"
She almost leaped onto me and gave my stony figure a hug.
"It's been quite a while! How long exactly have you been like this?"
"About 6 months and a week" Realization dawned on her as she let go.
"You were here this whole time? Wow... Boring much?"
"Kinda. Ya don't get much time to think about boredom while you're training mentally. Too bad I'm probably not gettin' outta here soon. Say, have you gotten used to teleportation yet?" She smiled.
"Yup. I didn't really want to think on what you'd do to me, so I eventually got over my fear. *sigh* Too bad you're not getting out of here. The reason I'm in Canterlot is kind of a vacation. I got sent a free trip here by my slightly annoying cousin, but she meant well, and the trip is nice. I never expected you to be here."
"Well, you should take care. Ya might not want to tell anyone about this. I guess you probably have a good night's sleep to look forward to, so I won't keep you here. But, see you tomorrow? We can have a private conversation using only thoughts."
"Sure. I'll be here. See ya around." She turned and started to step away. I felt a small weight on my shoulder and found mini-me there.
"You know, I've been saving this stunt for a good time, when you were ready, and I think you're ready now." He suddenly jumped at my head and phased right into it. I felt my heart pumping loudly.
'Hold on a minute, I'm stone! How is my heart beating? It hasn't been beating for the past six months!' My vision swam into slitted mode and I could feel muscles tense up. Lena stopped walking away and turned around for some reason. then I heard it. A cracking sound. I turned my eyes down to my chest. Right on the left side, a bit centered, was a crack. Another crack. They started coming into view all over, making loud noises. I felt more muscles tense up even further, and more cracks greeted this fact. Finally, it all shattered. Time seemed to slow down as I was in the air, stone flying from my body as my lungs took in oxygen. I touched ground and then my face met it.
'Can't move.' Lena rushed to my side, eyes wider than a fat man's girth.
"You just broke out of stone." she said quietly.
"Um, I hate to break the impressive awesomeness right now, but I can't move. After six months of not moving muscles, I can't really move them. Little help?" She smiled, and I could swear I saw tears in her eyes.
"Sure. We'll get that taken care of in a jiffy." She gave me a touching hug. (Everyone get ready for D'aww. And a one, and a two, and a one, two, three, f-)
"Um, it's already been hundreds of jiffies, and I'm still not moving. A jiffy is a real unit of time, a hundreth of a second."
Well, way to ruin the moment, Scales. At least you got her to carry you a ways. Sheesh, ya can't even move. Well, the global exams will soon cometh, and it's gonna be a bit tough for me, seeing as how I'm doing everything in Spanish, which isn't so surprising, considering I live in Spain, but still, second language. Even though I've been here for 6 years, it's still a second language. Basically, we have normal brain, and we have brain on Spanish global tests, which looks more like a mushroom cloud. Anyways, thanks for reading, and keep your stick on the ice.
"Little saying from where I'm from." She shrugged.
"Whatever." *CRUNCH!* "Wow, your joints are really stiff." *POP!*
"I didn't move for six months. Do you expect them to be loose?"
"Well, not really." *SNAP* "But this seems a tad bit exaggerated." *Crick*
I swiveled my wrists and then my arms, now having full mobility.
"Well, that doesn't matter, because you really know how to give a good massage." She scuffed her hoof against the ground.
"Twasn't nothin'." I smiled down at her.
"One second and then we go. I gotta say goodbye to Discord and the others." Her face was genuinely surprised.
"Hold up a sec, Discord isn't the only creature-turned-to-stone?"
"Of course not. A good 90% of the statues here were once flesh and blood. Some were bad and got turned to stone by Celly and Woona, others got turned into stone by cockatrices and malfunctioning magic spells. Few are actually statues. Didn't you know?"
"Uh, that information is classified in the princesses' eyes. And I'm not psychic. Do the math."
"Alright, one sec here. 'Sup Discord?"
I read his mind to try to get an answer.
"HOW DID YOU DO THAT?! I worked for CENTURIES to get enough strength to break out, and you break out in half a year with minimum effort!"
"Oh, nothin' much. Just used the feral bit inside me to get me going. U jelly?" I heard him quietly sob.
"Now I'm gonna be bored for another couple millenia. Y U HAVE TO GO?! Dreams can only keep ya happy for a couple years. I don't have any more ideas."
"Well, you think about that. I've gotta live a little bit out here." I expanded my area. "See ya later, Siggy, Meat-mare." Sigmund 'aww'ed in disappointment while the Meat-mare remained silent.
"Farewell, dragon. Spread a little carnage for me, will you?"
"If I find something that deserves it, alright. I'm not really as evil as all of you, no offense."
"None taken, but everyone can use a little insanity once in a while, dontcha think?"
"You have a point there, Sigmund. I might just help out with that. Now, ta-ta for now, 'cause me and my friend here are gonna scram."
"Are you finished yet?"
"Yeah, I'm done. Hop on my back and we can get going."
I got down on all fours and opened my wings slightly, revealing the little hollow she had sat on before.
"You know what? I'm sick of this place. The vacation ends tomorrow morning, but I don't even wanna spend it here. Do you know how stuck-up some of these ponies are?"
I rubbed my chin.
"Well, apart from a whole bunch of nobles fainting in front of me after insulting me, which, by the way, included Prince Blueblood the Snot-nosed, I don't have a clue."
She grinned evilly.
"You know just how to bring a smile to my face. Now, HI-HO, DRAGON, AWAY!"
"You won't get sick?"
"Trust me on this one, I'm cured of that. Thankfully."
"Okay. If you insist."
I zoomed forward, leaving a dust cloud in the shape of a pony riding a dragon. I looked back at Lena momentarily to see her gums flapping comically in the wind, her eyes squinting because of the high velocity. She clung onto my shoulders for dear life.
"Fast enough for ya?"
"Think again, scale-brain."
"Okay, I'm going to think... INTO YOUR BRAIN!" I proceeded to fill her thoughts with images of Luna throwing a pie in Celestia's face. I then slowed down enough for her face to return to normal.
"Okaaaaaay... Why that image?"
"Luna wanted to learn the ways of the troll, so I taught her the basics. Now, Celly is being tormented by Trolluna."
"Well, as they say: Revenge is a dish best served cold."
"Indeed, and it's even sweeter when you've tasted defeat."
"TREE!"
I returned my gaze to what was in front of me, to see a large sequoia in front of me. When I first arrived in Equestria, I would have crashed right into it, but thanks to my better reflexes, I turned a sharp 90° angle to the left and went around it.
"How is that even possible?"
"Do not question he who breaks the laws of physics."
I heard her smack her hoof against her face.
"Great." she mumbled. "Two of them."
"What?"
"Nothing. Say, we're out of Canterlot now and in a forest. Can we just camp out here or something? I'm getting kinda tired. It is midnight, after all."
"You're right. I'll check our current location and we can take a nap in a tree or something."
I quickly dropped her off on the ground and scaled a tree rapidly. I then removed the sextant and the map from my scale compartment(Let's hear it for biological pockets!) and began measuring.
"Let's see... North Star... latitude... current time... time... longitude... latitude and longitude... current location here... destination here... come morning... compass... over there."
Satisfied with my calculations, I threw myself off the top of the tree and landed softly on the ground. Lena was standing there, teeth lightly chattering, her breath making a bit of vapor as it hit the seemingly cold air.
"A-are you f-f-finished yet?"
"Yup. We're in a forest that's to the south of Canterlot. Tomorrow, we go west."
"Th-that's nice. Now, how about we get a fire going?"
"Too risky. I don't wanna burn the forest down. The trees are too close together and the grass is dry. Look, there's a big tree, and it's got a hollow in it. Come on."
I walked into the small opening and laid down in the middle. Lena dashed inside, went to the other side of me so I was between her and the opening and pressed herself against my side. She sighed and curled up.
"Look at da widdle pony. Isn't she adowable? She's like a gweat big putty-tat. D'aaawwwwww."
"Laugh it up, reptile. It's a cold night and you radiate heat like a furnace."
I snorted and changed color to match the wooden inside of the tree. We didn't want any unexpected visitors looking in.
I was woken up earlier than normal by a high-pitched scream of rage that permeated every inch of the quarters. Lena squawked -there is no other word for it- and leaped into the air.
"What's happening!?", she screamed.
"Either Celly found out I'm gone or Luna put plan 35L into action."
Lena stopped hopping around.
"What's plan 35L?", she asked.
"Trust me: You don't wanna know."
Face met hoof as she massaged her forehead.
"You really like giving me headaches, don't you?"
I put a finger to her lips, and one on mine, and emulated the shushing noise.
"Listen.", I whispered.
A few dull thumps sounded up above, on the branches of the hollow tree. Voices began to speak.
"It's amazing how fast Celestia booted us out here, isn't it?", remarked the voice of a mare. I tried to place her familiar-sounding voice without success.
"Yup.", responded a deep stallion's voice. "She's really mad about this dragon escape. I wonder why, though."
"Word in the castle is that she's annoyed at the guy.", responded a third voice, also of a mare.
Slowly, I turned my head towards Lena and raised an eyebrow. She mouthed something like 'Wamderpolts'. I pondered this piece of information. Then it hit me.
"Wonderbolts...", I whispered, but apparently not quietly enough, because the pegasi above halted movement.
I cringed and slowly lifted a wing up for Lena to crawl into. She carefully mounted my back, but in the process snapped a twig.
'CLICHÉ-ISH TWIG OF THE CARTOON REALM!!! WHY MUST YOU APPEAR NOW!!!'
A couple orders were barked out by the Wonderbolt captain, and two blue-clad figures appeared in the doorway. Unfortunately for them, that was the moment that I chose to bolt out of the opening and start running.
The pegasi came into formation behind me like professionals, which they were. I made sure that Lena was well tucked beneath my wings as I dodged trees.
"Tree... Rock... Tree... TREE WALL!"
I managed to vaporize a hole in the foliage big enough for me to get through with an explosive fireball.
"Fireball Blast!", I yelled out as the sphere exploded against the trunks.
'Yes, I had to name my attacks.', I mentally told Lena.
The Wonderbolts started moving forward, a line of pegasi on each of my sides. I began to move my legs faster, and got to a point where Soarin was on one side of me and Spitfire on the other.
"Fun fact!", I yelled at them. "When clipped, wings have a hard time flying!"
I withdrew two sharp scales from my torso and flung them at either of my sides. The two captains immediately saw this coming and dodged, but the next two pegasi weren't so lucky. The trajectory of my projectiles curved towards them and clipped a substantial amount of feathers, upon which they accidentally swerved and crashed into each other. I gave them a salute and kept on going.
"Hasta la vista, mistah!"
The pegasi hesitated for a moment before renewing their chase against me.
"So, you think you can keep up, eh? Let's see if you can!"
I kicked up my speed another notch and started making impossible angles around trees, seemingly bouncing off invisible walls. The Wonderbolts strove to follow, but couldn't handle the sheer awesomeness of my physics breaking. Suddenly, I was cut short by Spitfire appearing in front of me from above, with two others blocking me forward path. I screeched to a halt, and was soon surrounded by them. I slowly turned, taking precautions not to reveal Lena.
"Surrender now, dragon, and we won't have to hurt you."
I barely resisted the urge to facepalm.
"Okay, I'm just gonna point out a few things here. First of all, why would I surrender? It would just land me in another cell, maybe even worse than that stone prison. Second of all, you really think you can hurt me easily? I would most assuredly be capable of injuring more than one of you. Thirdly of all, how many beings have actually surrendered when you said that line before?"
The orange mare paused for thought.
"Wellll...", she began.
Unfortunately for her, I saw an opening and dashed through her defences. Tossing her aside, I kept running. Before long, the trees suddenly thinned out and revealed a startling landscape: There was a straight path that had many loop-de-loops and jumps. A grin broke out on my face as a suitable music filled the air unexplicably.
I began running, my legs soon becoming blurs as I sped round the stone track, going at impossible angles, as the pegasi fruitlessly tried to catch me. The sheer amount of loops was astounding, and it was even complete with thin rails along chasms for me to slide on.
"WONDERBOLTS! FORMATION ALPHA STORM!!!"
The pegasi began swarming me, coming in from all directions, dealing me glancing blows all over. They weren't very strong, but they were throwing me off balance.
"So, Spitfire,", I began, hoping to stall them. "What are you going to do once you bring me down?"
"You're going straight to Canterlot once more to receive punishment for your deeds."
I was beginning to get irked.
"FOR MY DEEDS!?!?!", I yelled. "FOR MY FAULTS!?!?! I HATE TO BREAK THIS TO YOU, BUT YOU PONIES STARTED THIS! I was just coming out of the Everfree and was hit by a stun spell! A few hours later I was encased in stone! For no actual reason! You want justice, you stay off my back and go to get the Elements of Harmony! In the meantime, I will just live a mildly peaceful life, not looking for trouble in your utopian country!"
"Wow, man, you got some anger issues."
I resisted the urge to take her and slam her skull into the ground for, I admit, mostly selfish reasons. If I did that, everyone would be after me and I wouldn't get a moment of peace. As it was, I was wanted. Didn't want to get to more than that. Suddenly, I could see ahead that the cliff dropped. As I didn't want to reveal the pink unicorn on my back, I couldn't lift my wings, but what else to do? Then I caught sight of the rocks, and a dopey smile lit up my face.
"Liiiiiight bulb."
I continued running straight towards the cliff.
"Hey, Spitfire? Can you follow this?!", I challenged.
Immediately she prepared to swoop forward into the skies. SUCKER!!! I got to the cliff, which was cartoonishly vertical, and used my strong taloned feet to grab hold of the rocks and continue running vertically! Spitfire was left in the air, astounded at this, but she soon recovered and dove down after me. I kept sprinting with gravity, my speeds getting higher at every second. I could see bottom a ways away.
'Lena, grab hold of the inside of my right wing, NOW!'
I could feel magic taking hold of my right wing, and as I reached the bottom, I brought my wings forward, cradled Lena to my chest, tucked in my head, my legs, my arms and my tail, and continued rolling, soon becoming just a rolling blur. Inside the makeshift cocoon of my body, Lena's face and mine were quite close together.
"You come around here often?", I asked her jokingly.
Her look was anything but amused.
Somehow, I could see outside, and saw an upward cliff coming up. Using muscles in my back, I managed to jump up platforms and bounce off ledges till I had gotten to the top. Knowing that Spitfire was right behind me, I stuck a camoflauged head over the side. As she came up, ready to keep chasing, I whipped out a claw and grabbed her by the neck firmly but not tightly, and held her away from me. I stared at her with a cold gaze.
"This is your last warning. If you continue chasing me, I will not be responsable for my actions.", I said in an icy voice.
"Yeah, like you could be responsible for anythin-HGGGK!!!"
I had adjusted my position on her neck to better squeeze.
"You are beginning to irk me, Captain, I am irked... And that will not do..."
I extended the claws on one of my hands, and held it back, preparatory to swiping at her. She cringed, thinking it was the end. It wasn't.
With a couple of well-aimed slices, I sliced her yellow feathers off her wings, and for good measure gave her a haircut.
"Consider that an act of mercy. I could've killed you, but I didn't."
I turned to Soarin and the rest of the Wonderbolts, who were watching worriedly from the sidelines, having got there soon after I had grabbbed Spitfire.
"You may want to hurry. A body picks up speed at a tremendous rate when falling, and the force accumulated from here to the bottom of this canyon would put a serious dent on anything. And as you can see..." I showed my hand. "Spitfire was gone a while ago."
Soarin immediately precipitated himself over the edge, screaming her name. I turned to the rest of the cadets.
"I don't have the time or the patience to deal with you.", I said, black smoke billowing out of my nostrils as I spoke. "Consider yourselves lucky. And tell Celly 'Hi', for me, will you?"
The smoke cloud completely covered me. I quickly turned invisible and flew off, leaving some very confused and intimidated pegasi behind.
Okay, so I'm sorry I haven't updated this in a long time. I've been occupied with a number of things, including Ancient Wings, New Soul. Don't know when the next update will come. So I got a little bit violent in this chapter. Yes. I kinda lost patience with Spitfire. Anyways, thanks for reading, and keep your stick on the ice.
Perhaps I overdid it back there. In fact, I'm fairly certain I did. I put a life in danger, though I knew it was going to be saved, and made even more enemies. But it was justified, right? I was sure the ponies would understand. Unless my side of the story wasn't told. And I was made to look like a monster that attacked the Wonderbolts. And the news was spread all over Equestria. And there were wanted posters with me on them.
...
Well, that didn't bode too well. Perhaps it would've done me well to think about what I had done. Unfortunately, my brain couldn't work past the pink unicorn currently freaking out in a way that was rather painful... to MY body.
"Ohmygosh, why would you do that?!", she screamed as she scampered from one end of my body to the next. I had to commend her for being able to do that while we were in the air.
"The whole nation of Equestria is going to be SO mad at us... at you... I mean... THIS IS SO BAD!!!", she continued, stretching my face in ways I'm pretty sure it wasn't supposed to stretch.
She then resorted to curling up on my back and thinking about ways that that could've gone wrong.
'I think she's taking this rather well'
------------------------------
I landed on the other side of a mountain, and removed Lena from my back.
"Why are we stopping?", she asked, suddenly calm.
"I'm tired, I'm hungry, I have no idea where we are and I gotta go to the bathroom. Do I need more excuses?"
She rolled her eyes.
"I suppose not.", she huffed. "But make it quick."
Yeah. Quick...
----------Not a short time later----------
Lena managed to whip up what I can only call the food of all evil. I can only call it that because calling it by it's true name might summon its wrath. Writing it down is a grave mistake. What's that? You wanna know what it is? Are you sure? You're serious? I don't dare... WAIT, PUT DOWN THE CHAINSAW!!! Okay, I'll do it. But don't say I didn't warn you. Are you ready? No, noone is ever ready.
Brussel sprouts.
Not so bad, you say?
I beg to differ. Harshly.
Lena said I'd never taste anything like them.
And she was right.
I've never tasted anything similar.
GOING DOWN!!!
Brussel sprouts are the unholy offspring of cauliflower and broccoli! The demons of all food! Innocent chicken and stromboli tremble and draw back in fear of this abomination of nature! AM I GETTING TO ANYONE!?
*pant, pant*
Anywho...
"I'm not eating that."
"Yes, you are, Scales."
"I'm not eating that."
"Shut up and eat."
"Sorry, I'd rather live a long and happy life without tasting those things."
"We are not going anywhere until your portion of brussel sprouts are gone!"
I raised an eyebrow.
"Fine."
FWOOOOOOOM!!!
A large orange fireball engulfed the horrid green vegetables, burning them to cinders and transfering their existence into oblivion.
And all of foodkind rejoiced.
-------------------------------------------
After getting some real food, and establishing our position, we set off for Lena's home. Through blistering winds and scorching deserts we traveled... okay, that's not what happened.
I ran and ran on, dodging all trees except for the occasional cheater.
The journey hadn't much exciting stuff. I conversed with Lena through telepathy and told her about what happened to me, and she told me that she was now one of the most well-known scientists in Equestria. Go figure. She wrote up a thesis for radia root and raked in the dough.
Just a few hours later, it started to darken.
'I hope we get back soon.'
'I think we're nearly there. Look, there's an imprint of me on that tree, that's like a trailmarker.'
And sure enough, we ended up in the clearing.
"See, I told ya we were going the right way."
"Alright fine, now get me down."
I let her down off my back and suddenly froze. Cupping a hand over her mouth, I flopped down into the grass. Lena wasn't amused. She slapped my hand off and glared at me. I put a finger over my mouth. She rolled her eyes.
"There's a lot of ponies inside there.", I whispered.
Her eyes suddenly widened before she facehoofed.
"Of course, tomorrow is the family reunion! And they have to do it in my house, don't they?!"
She suddenly grabbed my face and put our foreheads together.
"Who is there!?"
"Uuuh, quite a few ponies..."
"Change of question, is Pinkamena Diane Pie there!?"
"What!? Pinkie Pie? Why would she be there?"
She groaned, turned her head away and rubbed her forehead.
"You remember I told you an annoying cousin of mine got me that trip to Canterlot?"
"...Oh no."
"Yup, she's my cousin. Pinkie Pie, the annoying party pony. Whoop. De. Doo."
--------------------------------
Luckily, Pinkie Pie was not there. Her family was there, but not her. Dodged a bullet on that one.
We decided that Lena should go in, and I should just hang myself up in a tree and sleep.
I guess you can't get all the action.
_____________3rd Person_______________
Lena didn't bother knocking. She just swung the door open, not violently, but not quietly either. She stood in the doorway and stared at the grand variety of ponies from her family all frozen in place, staring at her.
"Oh my goodness, I am so surprised. Why on earth would my family be here a day before the family reunion?", she said without much conviction.
The way her relatives reacted, you woulda thought she had given a speech. They erupted into smiles and cheers, welcoming her back, giving her hugs, patting her on the back... some of the older ones even gave her kisses.
"Lena, dear, we didn't expect you back till tomorrow!", said one of her aunts.
"I got home early, Aunt Pudding. So why are you all here exactly?", she responded.
"Whyever not?", replied her Uncle Rice. "We decided to hold the reunion here to not only celebrate our family, but to also celebrate your success!"
Lena nervously laughed.
"Ha, ha, right... So why hasn't Pinkamena ruptured my spine and talked my ear off yet?"
"Oh, she was called away on urgent business in Canterlot. You know, something about the Elements of Harmony.", responded some obscure relative who she couldn't identify.
'ALL RIGHT! was what she was thinking, but she merely smiled wryly.
"I guess she can't be at every party."
At that moment, two pegasus foals galloped up to her.
"Lena! Lena! Lena! Didja miss us? Huh? Huh?"
She smiled at the blue foal and the slightly older yellow filly.
"Of course I did, you two. Remember to be careful around here."
She nudged the two cousins along.
"Uh, hey, Lena.", called a teenage filly's voice. Said filly was standing akwardly a few paces in front.
"Oh, hi, Moon. How's it going."
"It's all right. Excuse me, I need to make sure Water Drip and Dandelion don't burn down your house."
"Oh, now we wouldn't want that, would we?", Lena giggled.
Moon Pie walked off to join her younger cousins, while Lena advanced. Surprisingly, there were fewer ponies than normal. Much fewer. Lena approached her parents.
"Mom, Dad, how come there's so few ponies here?"
Their parents exchanged nervous looks.
"Well...", began her mother, "I don't know if you've noticed this, dear, but you live in the jungle."
"Buh- Wha- That's no excuse!"
"Unfortunately, it's true, dear," continued her father. "Most of our relatives just don't trust the jungle."
"But it's a perfectly clean and perfectly organized jungle!"
"That's just it," responded her father. "Most of our relatives don't like jungles, however clean and organized they may be."
Lena sighed. Well, at least she didn't have a veritable horde in her house.
"Now I'm kinda disappointed. So, what's for lunch?"
You'd think that she'd have the decency to answer the knocks on her mental door for a status report, but nooooooo. She just had to give me a headache.
5 and a half hours.
It gets boring, counting individual grass blades. Especially when you lose count.
Finally, there was a bit of something. Two children, and one medium-grown mare, came out and started romping in the grass. It was obvious that the white mare wasn't too thrilled about watching them.
"Hey, Dandelion, let's climb that tree!"
"Yeah!"
'No.
Don't.
I will maul you.
Stay away from this tree.
You're not listening.
WHY ARE YOU NOT LISTENING!'
The children had almost reached my tree when the voice of the teenager came floating over.
"Don't do that, kids. You could hurt yourself."
'Listen to her. Listen to her. Listen to her'
"You're not the boss of us, Moon Pie!"
'Have you noticed that children seem to be getting more disobedient every day?'
Thankfully, before they could get too close, a telekinetic aura surrounded them and brought them back towards the mare, who was sitting in the middle of the clearing now.
"Actually, as of this moment, I am the boss of you two. And I say no climbing trees."
The foals pouted, but stayed by their caretaker, who decided to doze off. Soon, the children nodded off too, and I followed their example.
------------------------------------------------
I was awoken by a loud scream. Startled, I opened my talons and collapsed on the ground. They didn't notice me for one reason: they were currently surrounded by blink hounds.
'Is that another pack, or remnants of that one from six months ago? You'd think the word would spread: Don't attack ponies, bad stuff can happen. Must be dumber than I thought.'
Why I was wasting time thinking about that, I don't know, but the screams had attracted the attention of those inside the house, who quickly rushed out. Upon seeing the situation, Lena got mad.
"What the hay do you think you're doing!?!? Get away from them, you mangy mutts!!", she said, beginning to charge them.
Evidently, she didn't have a plan, so when the dogs surrounded her, she sat back and whimpered. The white teenage unicorn, for her part, rolled her eyes.
"Our hero.", she muttered.
The blink hounds had now noticed the family now looking at them with fear and rage and decided that discretion was the better part of valour. They grabbed the four ponies they had and ran off into the woods. I could see that there were roughly thirty of them. As they disappeared into the jungle, I heard a very familiar voice screaming.
"SCALES, IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR SCALY HIND END OVER HERE WITHIN THE NEXT TEN MINUTES I WILL PERSONALLY KILL YOU AND USE YOUR BODY FOR EXPERIMENTS!!!"
That really made me want to rescue her.
I ran into the foliage, intent on finding them. Unfortunately, they had disappeared. I ran further, roaring as I went, and for good measure, slicing up the vegetation I encountered. Needless to say, I was mad.
The area that the hounds had chosen to go into was thick with ferns and pine trees, which made it take FOREVER to get a trace on them.
After following some imprints in the ground of paws I had found, they suddenly disappeared. Then I realized I was going at it the wrong way.
I began to sniff them out. Hey, you in the back, you think that's funny? I can smell your lameness from a whole other dimension. I followed a trail that was a mix of Lena's scent and wet dog.
"I am so going to need some nostril bleach after this."
Finally, I found them! They were huddled against a rock wall, surrounded by the beastly canines. Just as I burst through the foliage, one of them had leaped towards the small group.
I ran towards him. Time slowed down. A metallic sound filled the air as my knuckle spikes extended. I wasn't going to make it.
The hound got closer to one of the foals' neck. His jaws began to prepare themselves to bite.
I wasn't nearly close enough, but I punched a fist through the air anyways. It didn't hit.
Instead, the canine was tossed to the side slightly and curled up on the ground, lifeless...
With two large black spikes sticking out of it's chests.
Another metallic ringing sounded as more spikes grew out of my hand. I stood firmly on the ground.
"You dogs have some things that don't belong to you."
Most of the pack took a step back. Some remained where they were. A couple dared to growl at me.
"Lena, are you all right?"
"Considering we just got abducted by blink hounds, yes. Unless you count the slobber."
"Where's my camera when I need it?" Was my intelligent response.
Of course, the other 3 ponies were taking this in various manners. The oldest, the white unicorn, was hyperventilating with her eyes popping out of her skull. The yellow filly was trembling and hiding behind Lena. The blue foal was staring on with awe.
"Scales, I don't know why the heck I put up with you!" said Lena. I spread my arms apart.
"Hey, we're friends, right?" I continued to swing my arms about as a visual aid. "And friends are supposed to stick together, to trust each other, to tolerate each other, all of that. And, I've already saved your life more than once, so that should be something, right?"
She sighed and facepalmed.
"Just get on with it."
Turning back to the dogs, I noticed that a few had some blood on them and I could've sworn I saw some black eyes. I guess those hand gestures were more useful than I thought.
A near one leaped for my throat. I dodged to the side and smashed its spine into the ground.
"Man, this feels good! Finally, some good exercise without an excess of pain!"
I whipped a scale at another on my back-swing, effectively injuring its front left leg, and pierced another jumper with a punch.
A clever one tried to blink past me and do some damage to the equines, but it met a harsh opponent in my tail. Blow after blow came to the blink hounds, yet I was nearly uninjured. The training I had been put through in my subconscious had increased my battle ability. I wasn't faster or stronger, but I struck with grim efficiency that had been honed to perfection by the cruel and sadistic other me.
Soon I was fending off four or five at once, ripping them off of me and throwing them into the trees or biting savagely, my sharp mouth rending flesh as if it were nothing more than stringy watermelon(which can be disgusting, by the way).
The hounds were trying their best, and I commended them for that, but what good can magic resistance be when the force of an explosion made by a fireball tosses you against a tree? And what could shield them from the fists, tail and mouth of an angry dragon?
They were doomed to fail, and no amount of ravenous hunger could change that fact. As they found out, it could even be a serious drawback.
There was one hound that decided not to go for my throat, and instead bit into my leg, the scales breaking under the great pressure of his jaw. I roared in anger when that happened, and the blinker soon found out that it wasn't good to bite me.
First of all, the green blood that spewed from my wound burned his mouth as it boiled. Second of all, my talon rose up, grabbed his neck and crushed him. Third of all, my eyes slitted and turned yellow, and I began to fight even harder against them, becoming a blur in between that sliced legs, flung bodies away, went from their front to their back in a fraction of a second and beat them into the ground.
Very soon, all that remained was one extremely cowed hound that shrank from my gaze. I walked to him, picked him up by the scruff of his neck and stared him in the eye.
"Tell your wild friends that this is what happens when you confront me or try to harm those under my protection."
With those final words, I punted him lightly into the forest, where he landed and ran away, yipping pathetically.
I turned around, to the ponies. All three of the young ones were cowering behind Lena, who was apparently grossed out. With good reason, too. I was a mess, to say the least.
"Right... Introductions, please?"
Lena composed herself.
"Scales, this is Moon Pie, Dandelion and Water Drip. You three, this is Scales."
"Charmed" I said.
"Don't listen to a word he says, he's nuts." she continued.
"Now hold on a second here..." I said, pointing a finger at her.
A sudden shriek from the bushes caught all of our ears. Standing there, hooves in her mouth, was one of Lena's relatives. I looked at myself. Covered with gore, blood and holding a finger menacingly at Lena, behind whom were cowering the three foals, I could've looked better.
We were all speechless.
Then Water Drip decided to cry.
I hate him already.
A squawk of rage came from the mare and she came at me with little more than an umbrella.
"You BEAST! Get away from all of us! Begone, foul monster! Go back to the hole which spawned you!"
She punctuated each syllable with a hard crack from her umbrella.
"Ow! Wai-OW! Stop i-Ow! Ouch! Oi! That's painful! Ow! St-Ow! Will you calm do-Ooooooow!"
I retreated into a tree. Getting hit with an umbrella hurt.
"Sheesh, lady, you have serious anger management issues!"
By this time, the rest of the family had arrived, carrying a couple of swords, an assorted variety of slingshots, some kitchen knives, a massive battle-axe(where the heck did they get that?), a few pitchforks and a rubber ducky. Do not mess with the chosen one who wields the rubber ducky.
Of course, they saw the image, the mare bristling with rage, two foals(darn you, Dandelion) crying, and myself rubbing my head in a tree.
"Be careful everyone! We don't know what it's capable of!" exclaimed the stallion in front, spreading his front left hoof. "We'll have to drive it off by intimidation. Remember, herd tactics! The group stays alive!"
"It didn't do much for those dogs there, did it?" pointed out another stallion.
"But we know how to talk and yell. We can scare it off with our superior intellect." replied the first.
"I'm beginning to think that you think I'm stupid." I said.
"SCATTER!" screamed somepony from the crowd. The crowd obliged, some running around screaming their heads off, others hiding behind trees, and a few coming to the side of the mare who had first found me.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!!"
"Begone, worm! We shall defeat you!"
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"Don't look this way, don't look this way, don't look this way, don't look this way..."
As you can imagine, the cacophony was deafening.
Lena took some steps forward and stood at the base of my tree.
"Uh... everypony..." she said.
No one listened.
"Everypony..." she said a bit louder.
Still, not one pony listened.
I handed her a megaphone.
"Wait, where the heck did I pull that out of...?" I asked myself.
Lena cleared her throat.
"WILL YOU JUST SHUUUT UUUUUUP!!!!!!"
Immediately everyone froze and stopped making noise. A cricket chirped somewhere.
"Honestly, if you're going to act like this, it's no wonder some of the relatives don't come to the jungle. You ponies are NUTS! I mean, come on, do you really think a dragon is going to kill a whole pack of blink hounds while protecting our hides so we don't get a scratch and THEN kill us? What in the name of Rankenstein's sock monster are you thinking! Until you apologize to Scales and properly thank him for saving our crimson life juice, none of you are welcome in my cabin! Come with me, Scales!"
She threw away the megaphone and started walking towards her cabin. Now, I was rather good at reading emotions, and judging by the scorch marks her hooves left on the ground, she was a little more than annoyed. Rather than have that mad at me, I scuttled down when she was at a safe distance and crept after her on all fours.
Everypony looked on with complete and absolute shock.
"Do you seriously want THAT mad at you?" I asked, pointing towards Lena. I continued walking.
"Uhh... Not re-" began somepony.
"That was a rhetorical question, you moron."
I quickly followed after Lena. I did NOT want that mad at me.
______________A Little Later________________
Lena carefully wrapped a bandage around my leg. After discovering that alcohol was useless, always evaporating before it hit my blood, she just slapped it on. Luckily, the heat of my blood didn't burn through the cloth.
"So, why do you think it hurt like that and didn't heal real quick? When you stabbed me in the shoulder, it barely even hurt."
"Oh, that was because the vine was coated with a painkiller and a healing salve. Very effective."
"Oh... Say, why don't you use the vines against the blinkers?"
"The vines won't let me. Organic things could hurt them, but the hounds are well attuned to nature, so much so that vines won't attack them in any way. I could throw a boulder at them, but they would just dodge and I would waste power."
She gave another tug and somehow affixed the end of the bandage to the rest. Magic.
"So, you're not afraid of distancing yourself from your family? You got pretty mad at them."
She gave me a deadpan look.
"Scales, I live in the middle of a jungle that's outside Equestria. I pretty much hate the get-togethers except for seeing the kids. I openly loathe Pinkie. I can't get much more distant."
"Your family went out of Equestria to plan a surprise for you. They love you. Or, at least, they did."
"I don't need your advice on this."
A pause ensued while Lena cleaned up some garbage.
"Do you really think they like me?" she finally asked.
I gave a sigh.
"Lena, it's obvious they do. To not see that is extremely difficult. Do you not like your family?"
"I do, I do, it's just..." She sighed. "I was always the brainiac of the family, and everybody teased me for that. The parents wanted me to do something more 'worthwhile', like designing clothes or being a singer, or some other kind of superstar, rich and famous, loved by everypony. Then, I became a scientist. How could they not be disappointed?"
"I might regret this later, but you're acting extremely dense, Lena. Good parents accept what their children do, unless it's something wrong. They didn't force you into sports, did they? They didn't sign you up, take you there and stand by with a whip, did they?"
"No..."
"You're a scientist. Heck, you got your emblem on it. And no, I am not calling it that other name for it. It's your talent, and your parents would not keep you from it. And, you got rich on it, go figure. Your family loves you, even though you can't see it. Did you see how that wacko attacked me with an umbrella? That was partly for you."
"How do you know all these things?"
"No idea. Pay no attention to me, I'm NUTS!"
"Aaaaaaaaand the moment's ruined."
"I try."
_______________3rd Person________________
A crowd of ponies clustered around the window, discreetly listening to the conversation between the dragon and their relative. When it was finished, they held a little discussion.
"I didn't know she took that teasing so harshly, poor dear."
"I had no idea I was pressing her hard for starhood! I-I was just trying to be a good parent."
"Well, the dragon helped her like us a bit better, didn't he?"
"We were kind of mean to Lena all these years."
"I'm sorry I hit that dragon now...*sniff*"
They heard Lena's voice inside once more.
"I guess I can give them another chance." she said.
The relatives beamed with joy.
"Does this mean she won't write us out of her will?" expressed a distant relative jubilantly.
His head was immediately the target for a multitude of hooves slapping him angrily.
___________Scales' Perspective____________
"I guess I can give them another chance." she said.
"That's excellent. You should give everyone a second chance, and more. Everyone deserves one more chance at all times. Also, they've been eavesdropping."
"I suppose everypony doe- Wait. What?"
She walked stealthily to the window I pointed out to her.
"Well, that was some pretty fancy fighting you did back there. I could barely follow you with my eyes."
She inched closer, still talking.
"I'm not sure what I would've done. Maybe, impale all of them. Perhaps strangle them. Summon a pitchfork and use that. You know, the type of things I do to..." She slammed open the window with a furious disposition. "EAVESDROPPERS!!!"
The air was filled with girlish screams before they disappeared, replaced by the sound made when cartoons zip off and leave a cloud of dust.
Lena wore a smirk as she turned back to me.
"That should learn 'em."
"Have I ever mentioned you are exceedingly scary, Lena?"
