A changeling proposes a mutually beneficial relationship to a pony, only to be baffled by his rejection of her convenient arrangement.
Adjutant was a former high-ranking changeling under Chrysalis, and now runs a changeling colony in the Everfree Forest under the auspices of Princess Twilight Sparkle. Anyone, changeling or pony, would be lucky to have the attention of a changeling of her status, so why does the only one she desires spurn her attentions?
Surely they can put aside their differences to reach a convenient arrangement?
This a side story that takes place after Spectre of the Past, though it's intended to stand by itself.
A warm ray of sunlight poured through the window of the highest tower in the Castle of the Two Sisters. It illuminated a bedchamber filled with webbing and a giant cocoon where the bed would have gone. Once, long ago, it had been home to a pony — perhaps even Celestia herself — but now it housed the administrator of an independent colony of changelings, who had been given the castle under the auspices of Princess Twilight.
Adjutant opened her amber eyes in her cocoon and watched the sunbeam's lazy progress through her room. There were no lazy Sunday mornings like this when she was still serving as Adjutant–General to Chrysalis, only one seemingly endless crisis after another. Unfortunately, not everyone in the castle chose to take advantage of their relaxed work schedule.
A smile crept upon her lips as she rolled out of bed and made her way down to the dungeons, where the office of her Equestrian counterpart was located. Captain Thunderball was a soldier and spy (and possibly several other things, if rumors were true) who directed the Equestrian side of the colony, overseeing supplies, the castle, and the recovery of any artifacts found on its premises. He could reliably be found in the warden's office from sunrise to sunset, whereupon he would march out of his office to a renovated dungeon cell across the hallway to sleep.
She knocked on his office's heavy oak door and waited patiently. It swung out to reveal an unshaven pegasus in his late twenties, with a distinct military bearing.
"Good morning, Administrator. What brings you down to my half of the castle?"
"Business, as usual." She stepped aside. "Would you care to come out and join me for a lovely brunch in the castle courtyard?"
He gave her a rather odd look. "Adjutant, it sounds like you're asking me on a date."
"I merely thought that a fine stallion such as yourself would enjoy the company of a wonderful, lovely, and talented changeling such as myself. Am I wrong?" She batted her eyelash at him. "Do you secretly harbor suspicions that I aim to lay eggs in your brain?"
"No, but only because that's biologically impossible." Thunderball leaned against the doorframe. "I'm more concerned that you might be hatching some plot to take over the colony, Ponyville, and then Equestria in a much subtler manner than Chrysalis ever could."
Adjutant gasped and held her hoof over her heart. "You wound me, Captain! We must discuss my nefarious plans together sometime. Say, over lunch?"
"You'll forgive me, but I have my own devious goals to work towards. Treason, subversion, covert operations, etc."
"That sounds absolutely fascinating," she purred. "Perhaps you could tell me more later. Maybe during dinner?"
"You're putting an awful lot of effort into this."
"What can I say? I find the prospect of a relationship with a representative — and acting head — of a noble house such as yourself to be greatly beneficial. And it's not like you wouldn't stand to gain a great deal from association with a changeling such as myself. We would be a terrific, powerful couple. Our enemies would quake in fear. Tears of despair would be shed, and there would be much wailing and gnashing of teeth throughout the land."
"Maybe, but all that could be obtained though far simpler means — and I daresay the same goes for your goals." He leaned forward and peered into her eyes. "What's this really about?"
"Well, I think that's obvious by now. I'm trying to establish a relationship. Is not presenting a set of logical reasons why such an arrangement would be favorable not an appropriate way to go about it?"
Thunderball shook his head. "You were never an infiltrator, were you?"
Adjutant tossed her head haughtily, sending her bright blue mane over her shoulder. "A changeling in a leadership position does not do menial labor." She paused for a moment. "I take it that ponies do not calculate the advantages and disadvantages of a relationship before entering into one?"
"While I can name several ponies from Canterlot who are in arranged marriages, it's largely fallen out of favor. We give a great deal of consideration to attraction and emotional compatibility these days."
"Oh, that love thing you ponies have," she snorted. "Emotional attachment has never been as strong a guarantee of stability as self–interest, you know. One may act against a loved one, perhaps secure in the knowledge they may obtain forgiveness, but none will act against themselves."
"Don't knock love," he growled. "Last I checked, it's what you fed off of."
"Touché." Adjutant looked at him thoughtfully. "So you're saying that if I gave you a reason to be emotionally–"
"Nope. One of the disadvantages of being professionally paranoid is that you never really trust anyone again."
"Because you think they may deceive you?"
"Because you know they will deceive you. It's why hardly anypony in my family marries. The closest most of us get is a series of short–term relationships. Often, we don't even bother."
"Ah. Is that why your house favors adoption?"
"That, and it makes DNA identification unreliable. Not that orphans don't deserve love and a good home or anything," he added awkwardly. "I mean, I was there, and I'd be happy to help others find a family."
"That sounds sweet — really, it does — but I'm afraid I could never see myself adopting. The curse of changeling biology, I suppose; we all want to become the next queen and give birth to our own brood."
"Even them males?"
"Especially the males."
Thunderball chuckled and stepped back into his office. "Well, as enlightening as this conversation has been, I have pencils to push. Will you excuse me?"
Adjutant quickly laid her hoof on his door. "Wait. I must confess that everything I told you, while absolutely true, was mostly a pretense. I actually find you quite intriguing, and I was wondering if we could spend time together outside of work so I could get to know you better."
"Maybe." Thunderball smirked and closed the door.
Adjutant stared at the solid oak door. "Maybe? I lay myself bare before you, and I get a wretched maybe?"
"Welcome to dating," Thunderball laughed from the other side.
Adjutant fumed as she left the dungeon. The impertinence of that stallion! Did he not know whom he was toying with? She was the former Adjutant–General of Chrysalis's hive, and a very powerful changeling in her own right! She could have had her way with any changeling, but chose to seek him out, and he dared to respond by teasing her?
She was so angry as she marched into the throne room that she did not notice a midnight blue figure occupying the throne until she tried to sit on it.
"Princess Luna!" Adjutant gasped, quickly dropping into a bow. "I had no idea you were visiting! Forgive me for the lack of a formal welcome."
Luna motioned for her to rise. "Oh, 'tis quite alright. I was merely passing through and decided to pay a visit to my old abode. I must say, I greatly enjoy the renovations."
"Oh, thank you! We put in a lot of effort into restoring this castle to its former glory."
"Indeed, and seeing it brings much joy to my heart. As well as many memories…" Luna looked at the tapestries wistfully. "Well, today is not the time to dwell on such matters. What has vexed thee so, that thou came storming up from the dungeon in such haste?"
"The inconsiderate jerk downstairs had the nerve to turn down my proposal for a relationship! Can you imagine? I even outlined the political benefits of such a union, and how we would both profit greatly from combining our resources and power, but he simply wasn't interested! I don't know what went wrong!"
Luna stroked her chin. "Why yes, I cannot see how it failed. Rest assured that many a noble in my time would have given their left hoof for the attention of one of your calibre. Did he perchance mention why?"
"Something about love," Adjutant grumbled. "Can you imagine that? The old warhorse is a romantic at heart."
"While it is the fashion these days, I confess that I cannot understand how a pony — especially one in a position such as he — would let it take priority over other considerations. Equal weight should be given to benefits and stability, but perhaps I am old fashioned? I recall that, even before my banishment, there was talk about romance being the ideal basis for a relationship. Foalish, if you ask me — passion lasts but a short while in the grand scheme of things."
Adjutant threw up her hooves. "Exactly! Why doesn't he see that?"
"Alas, I can be of no help here. Perhaps my niece Cadance could give you greater insight into the mind of the modern stallion? Or perhaps one of your changelings who has experience in relating to ponies?"
Adjutant looked at the ground bashfully. "A high ranking changeling does not betray weakness by asking for advice, especially to those beneath her station."
"I understand, but if that is the case, I advise you think of some alternative. Your current approach seems ineffective." Luna stood up off the throne and spread her wings. "I have business in Canterlot later today, so you will excuse me if I take my leave."
Adjutant bowed again. "Not at all, Your Majesty. Thank you for your time."
"Likewise," Luna nodded. "And I wish you the best in your endeavors."
Adjutant sighed as she watched Princess Luna leave. As much as she hated to entertain the idea, there really was only one solution to her dilemma.
Ace Gambit whistled as he dusted the books and shelves of The Open Book. Today had been a fine day, with lots of customers who barely noticed or minded that he was a changeling! He supposed it also helped that school was about to start, and The Open Book was the only bookshop in town.The textbooks (which he may or may not have made illegal magical copies of for the poorer foals) were selling like griddle cakes.
His ears perked up as the door chime sounded again. "Welcome! Welcome to the–"
He turned around and his jaw dropped as Adjutant walked in as if she owned the shop, not even bothering to disguise herself. "Quite a nice shop you have here, Ace. I don't suppose you could help me find some reading material?"
"Oh! Um, certainly." He shuffled from one hoof to the other as she cast her gaze around the shelves. "What did you have in mind?"
Adjutant made sure that the shop was empty before leaning in to whisper. "Do you have any books, magazines, or periodicals on romance?"
A sly grin spread across his face. "That depends; is this for academic or personal reasons?"
Adjutant did not deign to answer the question, which, unfortunately, left room for Ace to think out–loud. "Hm, you spend all your time in the Everfree, so the only stallion you're likely to have spent time with is...ah! Quite an interesting choice."
Adjutant fixed him with her best glare. "Are you going to provide assistance or not?"
Ace shrugged and disappeared behind some bookshelves. He returned a moment later with a bright yellow book, which he quickly bagged for her. Adjutant tossed out several bits for the book and left with it as soon as the transaction was over.
Halfway back to the castle, she opened the bag and read the cover. Her eyes narrowed dangerously as she hurled Dating for Derps in the direction of The Open Book.
At precisely seven that evening, Thunderball stepped out of his office in search of food. Normally, he would have gone to his apartment across the hall, but Adjutant was leaning against the door with a smile on her face.
"Ah, right on schedule!" She seized him by the foreleg. "Come, I believe you promised me a dinner date?"
"I said maybe," he grumbled. "Besides, I prefer to cook my own meals."
"Now, you know as well as I do that frozen vegetables and canned rations are no substitute for proper food! Why not come up with me to the courtyard and see what I've prepared?" She gave his foreleg a tug. "I swear on my chitin it's not poisoned."
"If I agree to go on one date with you," he sighed, "Will you promise to drop the issue?"
Adjutant made a noncommittal noise as she dragged him up to the courtyard, where a table and chairs were waiting. Several serving platters sat on a cart next to the table, along with a bottle of champagne and two flûtes. Thunderball took a seat at one end as Adjutant busied herself with the cart.
She put a platter in front of him and lifted the cover to reveal the fragrance of vegetables cooked in white wine, laced with an odd savory aroma. Thunderball looked at his plate to see something he had only eaten once, during his army survival training.
"Adjutant. you seem to have served me carp."
"Fresh from the Everfree Forest!" Adjutant chirped, as she served herself. "I even cooked it myself!"
"A carp is a fish."
"Your point?"
"Fish aren't vegetables."
Adjutant brought up a sliver of fish meat on her fork and scrutinized it. "But I've seen ponies eat seafood before! Fluttershy even feeds dead fish to ferrets!"
Thunderball sighed. "Fluttershy is well aware of the circle of life, and seafood is an acquired taste for most ponies, usually served as an exotic horderve. Other than that, you only really see it eaten among certain pegasi who live in the griffon kingdoms, or by the sea." He held out his plate. "Trade your vegetables for my carp?"
"Done!" She scraped her vegetables off of her plate and speared his carp. "I have to say, I never much cared for the taste or texture of the rabbit food you ponies eat."
Thunderball popped the cork off of the champagne and poured two flûtes for them. "So if you hate it so much, what gave you this idea?"
"Oh, I read it in a book." Adjutant took one of the flûtes and sipped on it. The sensation of sweet effervescent liquid fizzing on her tongue was quite enjoyable. "It turned out to have surprising good advice on the matter of dating."
"I take it you've been out to Ponyville?"
"Yes, quite the charming town. I must say, the ponies were surprisingly polite; they maintained a respectful silence when I arrived, and held their positions until I was gone."
Thunderball wondered if he should point out that they citizens were likely more nervous than anything else; color palette aside, Adjutant bore a greater resemblance to Chrysalis than to the average changeling.
Instead, he raised an eyebrow. "So, you're courting me now?"
"Of course!" She took another graceful sip of the champagne. "I desire someone I can have long and interesting conversations with! An equal with whom to engage in a battle of the wits! A confederate for schemes and plots!"
Thunderball rolled his eyes. "Might I suggest you take out an ad in the Ponyville Gazette?"
She slammed her empty flûte on the table. "What is your problem? I understand why you might take issue with political unions, but here I am trying to do something romantic, and you still reject me out of hoof!"
Green eyes met amber ones in a fierce contest of wills. "As I have told you, ponies like me don't do romance."
"So that is how you see yourself? As somepony who will slave away for crown and country until retirement, never knowing love or affection? I am a changeling, and even I find that sort of future depressing."
Thunderball determinedly stared into his empty flûte. Adjutant sighed and filled the glass; although she had every right to be angry at him for spurning her again, she only felt a profound sense of melancholy. "You know, your house doesn't need to be in the espionage business any longer. Why not give a it a try? If not me, perhaps one of the ponies from town? Rainbow Dash certainly seems as if she would be receptive."
He tossed back his head and downed the champagne in one gulp. "She's a decade younger than I am, and would never really understand what I've been through — nor should she, or anypony else."
Adjutant watched as Thunderball filled his glass again. "Because even if you wanted to be otherwise, your life has shaped you into a pony others can't relate to?"
"You think she'd ever understand the secrets I'd keep from her, or why I'd never really talk about my past?" His speech became slurred as he drank his third glass. "Face it, I've made my bed, and now I get to lie in it. Just as well, I s'ppose. Nothin' gets accomplished without sacrifice, right?"
"Of course not. But what is it that needs to be done?"
"That, I s'ppose, is up t' Celestia."
Thunderball began to sway slightly as he drank his fourth glass of champagne. Adjutant left her chair and helped him up. "Well, thank you for giving this a try, Thunderball. Would you mind if I walked you back to your apartment?"
He nodded silently, and the pair made their way back to the dungeon. Thunderball's apartment turned out to be a rather cozy affair, composed of several dungeon cells that had been linked together. Most of the furniture was made of wood, but the bed consisted of a cloud mattress — he evidently never expected to entertain anyone on it.
The cloud sank a few inches as he collapsed on it. Adjutant reached out and touched the fluffy substance curiously; although she had lived her entire life underground, she had heard that any creature capable of flight could interact with clouds. The cloud was firm underneath her hoof, and felt like fine silk. She closed her eyes and lost herself in the sensation of the most comfortable thing she had ever touched.
"Would you mind staying f' a while?" Thunderball whispered, with a curious mixture of fear and melancholy in his voice.
"Of course not." She hopped onto the cloud next to him and gently rubbed her wings against her thorax. A soothing serenade of chirps soon filled the air and lulled him to sleep. Thunderball's eyelids drooped as he snuggled into the bed.
"You know, you're not so bad once you stop scheming," he muttered, before his eyes closed and his breathing grew deep.
Adjutant felt her heart flutter as she watched his chest rise and fall. Without knowing why, she tentatively reached out for his mane and stroked it; his hair was warm and supple, like summer grass. She closed her eyes and savored the feeling. It was strangely satisfying to just sit there in his presence. The softness of the cloud was a distant memory; this was the most comfortable thing she had ever touched.
"You're not quite what I imagined, pony, but you're quite something nonetheless." She murmured. "I hope you find a special somepony one day, even if it's not me."
Adjutant pulled a cloud over him and planted a soft kiss on the forehead, then left him to his dreams.
Amber liquid swirled around in the glass Adjutant held, slowly dissolving a pair of icecubes. She sighed and downed the glass in one gulp. The glass slammed against the arm of her throne as the liquor burned its way down her gullet.
"I don't know what ponies were thinking when they invented alcohol," she muttered to the empty throne room. "This stuff is terrible."
She picked up a bottle marked "Mareson Bourbon" and poured herself another glass. "It's a poison, depressant, and disinfectant rolled into one. Absolutely vile."
Adjutant guzzled the next glass in a manner that would have put a sailor to shame. "And they let it rot for years!"
"Um, couldn't you say the same for royal jelly?"
Adjutant startled and nearly dropped the glass on the floor. She looked up to see Ace Gambit standing in front of her. "What are you doing here, drone?"
"Well, um, I'm also acting librarian for the castle archives, so I thought I should, um, be actively archiving the castle library?"
"...fair point." She summoned another glass and poured him a shot of whiskey. "Come drink with me."
While he was far from the ideal changeling, Ace was smart enough to know the difference between a request and an order. He dutifully marked up to her side and took the glass. "I take it the date did not go well?"
"About as well as could be expected, considering I chose a pegasus with more baggage than a freight train." She sighed. "What ever happened to him to make him so...forlorn?"
"In order?" Ace took in a deep breath. "Abandoned as a foal, adopted by a rogue noble house at age eight. Extensively tutored in academic subjects, martial arts, and subterfuge. Subject to numerous, and highly illegal, hypno-conditioning sessions to ward against mind control and enhance loyalty to the house and Equestria. Successfully carried out many missions, but left after an assassination due to ethical concerns. Enlisted in the army, and deployed to fight in Saddle Arabia. Most of his company was killed; he received a battlefield commission to lieutenant, and was selected for the Special Air Service along with his closest friend. Said friend was an infiltrator who betrayed his SAS team when they tried to infiltrate one of our hives. Friend got cold hooves at the last minute and died trying to save him, which resulted in him being the sole survivor of the mission. Sent to Ponyville to help Princess Twilight flush out changelings, ended up derailing Chrysalis's attempt at reclaiming defectors hiding in Ponyville and kidnapping of Princess Twilight. Killed in action, resuscitated, and out of commission for half a year. Reconciled with his family during that time, and later lead an illegal attempt to liberate hostages from Chrysalis's primary hive, which exposed his house's existence and incurred severe sanctions, but you were there for that."
"You..what? I…that..." Adjutant stuttered for a while longer before she managed to regain control of her mouth. "I haven't even been able to get so much as his official service record! How in Tartarus did you learn all that?"
"Oh, he bought a full set of The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roaman Empire from me last month. We've been talking whenever I drop by the castle, or he visits Ponyville." Ace took a sip of the whiskey. "He's actually pretty interesting. He's been teaching me magic."
"Are you saying that the pegasus who lives in a dungeon is teaching you magic?"
"Well, he can't do it himself, but he knows a lot about magical theory. It's really quite fascinating."
She fixed him with her hardest glare. "And you learned all of this by talking to him."
"Yup! Just by being friends."
"Why?" Adjutant swayed on her throne. "Why would he tell a changeling such sensitive information? A lowly drone, no less!"
Ace narrowed his eyes for a moment, before shaking his head and putting on a smile again. "Oh, a lot of it's public knowledge you'd pick up if you hung around Ponyville. As for the rest, well, he actually does seem to like me. Imagine that!"
"Ah yes. You buy into the whole "love and friendship" thing that the ponies have going on." Adjutant leaned back against her throne and sighed. "What's the secret? I mean, how does it work?"
"It's not easy, but I think the basic idea is that you value someone else's welfare on roughly the same level as your own for someone you love and care for. I know it sounds crazy, but it works!"
"Hm." Adjutant drank her whiskey slowly as she thought about how she had felt towards Thunderball right before she had left him to his dreams. "Yes, it does sound crazy. I'm not sure I can risk so much for an uncertain payoff. You understand, don't you?"
Ace gave her a pat on the back. "I know it's not my place to give advice, but I think you should give it a try. Fortuna Audaces Juvat, after all. It'll be worth it if he reciprocates and you'll have learned more about love even if he doesn't."
Adjutant nodded. "Yes, I think you're right. A leader must take risks, and seek knowledge no matter the cost. If I did anything less, I would be a coward and unfit to rule." She fiddled with her hooves. "Besides, I...I do rather like the thought of seeing him smile."
She turned towards Ace and gave him a nod. "Thank you for talking with me. I do trust that, as the only changeling employed as librarian and archivist, you will have the good taste and judgement to not mention this conversation in front of the others?"
Ace's mouth went dry at her predatory gaze. "Oh, you know me, I hate to gossip." He gave a weak laugh, and glanced at the exit. "Well, I've bothered you long enough, so why don't I leave you to your own affairs and go back to cataloguing books."
"You're such a bright drone," Adjutant cooed. "Do stop by more often. I think I might have a permanent position for you on my staff."
Pain branched through Thunderball's mind. He wrapped a cloud around his head to block out the jarring noise coming from his apartment door. His tongue wandered aimlessly in his dry mouth before he could muster enough strength to speak.
"Hold your horses, I'm coming!"
He stumbled his way to the door with indecent haste to head off any further knocks. Thunderball looked through the peephole to see Adjutant waiting patiently for him. After a moment's hesitation, he took in a deep breath and opened the door.
"Good morning, Adjutant. I'm afraid you've caught me at a bad time."
She bowed her head politely. "My apologies. I had no idea what the effects of alcohol would be last night. Suffice it to say, I plan on severely restricting my intake."
"Probably for the best." He let her into the living room and busied himself it he kitchen. "Would you care for some tea? I usually have a cup of Earl Grey."
"What an intriguing concept. I would be delighted to partake of your boiled leaf juice."
Adjutant waited patiently on the couch as Thunderball brought out a mithril tray with a porcelain teapot and two cups. He set it down on the coffee table in front of Adjutant and poured them each a serving.
He pushed a steaming cup of tea towards her. "May I take the liberty of assuming that, given the size of my headache, I drank too much last night and made an ass of myself?"
Adjutant lapped cautiously at the hot liquid. It was honestly quite unlike anything she had ever tasted before, and she was unsure of how she felt towards the strong, vaguely citrus flavored beverage. She set her cup down on the table and looked Thunderball in the eyes.
"Upon reflection, "I think that, it is the other way around. I am unfamiliar with love, and have conducted myself poorly. I understand why you would be disinclined towards romance in general. Let me, then, offer you an apology for any discomfort I may have caused. If you would like, I am willing to keep our relationship entirely professional — though I would hope that we can at least be friends."
An electric tingle ran through her foreleg and up her spine as Thunderball gently reached for her hoof. "I accept your apology."
Adjutant was very thankful that changelings were incapable of blushing. "Excellent. Then I shall leave you to your breakfast in peace."
"I usually have breakfast after watching the sunrise, then go for my morning run." He glanced over at a grandfather clock in the corner. "Both of which are coming up, incidentally. Would you care to join me?"
"Well, since you so kindly offered, I suppose I might as well." Adjutant smiled and followed him up to the courtyard.
The castle gate was open, and they could see the horizon glowing in prelude of the sunrise through it. The two sat in silence as the moon dipped below the treeline, and the sun slowly ascended to prominence in the bright blue sky. The clouds on the horizon glowed orange on the bottom, even as their tops remained dark, while the trees around them were sharply outlined against the sunlight streaming into the Everfree Forest. Thunderball spread his wings to embrace the sunlight, and began a series of calisthenics in front of Adjutant, who watched the sight with a grin on her lips. It was rare for her to be presented with such a magnificent view in the mornings.
Adjutant waited for him to finish his warm–up routine before interrupting. "May I join you on your jog?"
Thunderball looked her up and down. "Are you sure? You don't look like you'd enjoy it."
"Oh, come now. I'm genetically superior to most changelings, and quite a few ponies. I can handle a simple endurance test." She tossed her head back and brought her left foreleg, proudly displaying the holes that dotted its lower half. "Not to mention the fact that I'm lighter than you, especially where it count. If anything, I have an advantage. Why, I bet you a baker's dozen of cupcakes at Sugarcube Corner that I could run circles around you."
Thunderball shook his head. "Fine, but you'll have to go by the same restrictions. That means no wings."
A wreath of green flame engulfed Adjutant, and her wings disappeared . "Done! So where do we begin."
He tilted his head upwards. "Now. I like to run twenty laps around the castle walls."
"Alright. Do we find the stairs, or…"
She trailed off as he bolted past her to the nearest corner of the castle. Thunderball planted his hoof on the wall, slightly below knee height, and pushed down to propel himself upwards. His hooves passed from indentations to protruding bricks as he scrambled his way up to the parapets like a spider. Once he had reached the top, he gave her a cheeky grin and began running along the walls.
Adjutant stomped her hooves on the ground. "You are the worst pony!"
Indignation raged through her chest and drove her hooves toward the nearest flight of stairs. Both honor and dignity demanded that she catch up and throw him off of the parapets for cheating, but she was smiling nonetheless.
Sugarcube Corner was unusually busy that morning. The lunch hour rush had gotten an eary start, but Pinkie Pie was ready for it, having received proper warning by the twitching of her ears. Fresh cakes, pastries, and pies were laid out on the counter ready to go as an unusually large crowd appeared.
Halfway through serving them Pinkie's left hind kneecap jiggled twice, the same way it did when Caramel and Sassaflash came in. She looked around wondering what could have triggered it, and saw Adjutant and Thunderball walking in together.
Adjutant tossed a hooffull of bits onto the counter. "A baker's dozen of cupcakes for the cheater here."
The request was met with the sound of stunned silence from the other patrons, as all eyes focused on them. Pinkie gasped and grabbed Adjutant by the shoulders.
"He cheated on you?" Pinkie wrapped her hooves around Adjutant's neck and gave her a firm pat on the back. "There there, the phony-baloney pegasus never deserved you in the first place!"
Thunderball massaged his forehead as Pinkie fixed him with her most powerful glare. "Well, mister? What do you have to say for yourself? You'd better make it quick, because you're about to be banned from Sugarcube Corner forever!"
Adjutant cleared her throat. "Miss Pie, and good customers of the bakery, while I appreciate your support, I was referring to the fact that he cheated in a contest. I assure you, there's no need to ban anyone from anything. Please go back to your business."
A gentle murmur of conversation immediately filled the air again, while Pinkie bowed her head bashfully. "Oops! Sorry about that, I guess I should've thought about it first. So, what kind of cupcakes would you like?"
Thunderball glanced over at the display case. "Just give us a wide sample of whatever you have on hoof."
"Sure! Does that include the–"
"Nothing with hot sauce in it."
"Okie-dokie-loki! You two just sit tight and I'll be back in a jiffy!" Pinkie herded them into a nearby booth and dashed off to the counter, giggling as she did so.
"I hope you choke on your cupcake, cheater," Adjutant smirked.
Thunderball rolled his eyes. "You're the last person I'd expect to be offended by it."
"While I may be an avatar of devious and cunning, I had hoped that you would hold yourself to a higher standard, thus allowing me to win. Whatever happened to being an officer and a gentlecolt?"
Thunderball chuckled at the phrase. "You're barking up the wrong tree. Want to hear a story about that?"
"I'm all ears." Adjutant's horn flashed green and her ears doubled in size.
"Well, when the army graduates officers from military academies, they want to see if the kids can prove themselves out in the field. A wargame is usually arranged against experienced units. The graduates always lose, of course, but its a good test of ability and character. This year, they chose to simulate a ground war near Trottingham, so they gave one of the newly minted lieutenants my squad — fresh out of boot camp, and as dumb as a sack of rocks. We were deployed to reinforce units in the Trotttingham forest who were surrounded by the opposing force. It was a pretty hopeless situation; they were outmaneuvered and being torn apart by veterans by the time we arrived, and we could only delay the inevitable — if we stuck to our orders."
Adjutant leaned in. "I'm guessing you didn't?"
"Our lieutenant was inclined to follow orders, but he was 'killed' shortly after landing by an enemy archer. Command fell to our sergeant, and we were in the mood to have some fun. One of us put up a white flag and pretended to surrender, while most of the squad ambushed the opposing team when they moved in to take prisoners. We then took their uniforms, improvised a few stretchers, and acted like we were carrying our wounded out of the battlefield."
"I'm guessing that all of this was blatantly illegal?"
Thunderball winked at her. "We managed to waltz into the enemy base seeking medical aid. Their command center happened to be located along the way, so we pulled up a flap and tossed in a chalk bomb. It flushed out a hornet's nest of angry officers asking what the hay was going on, whereupon we informed them that they were dead."
"I can't believe they let you get away with it," Adjutant grinned. "I'd have flayed you alive for pulling a stunt like that."
"You know, we nearly were, but one of the generals observing the wargame thought the prank was hilarious. I heard he personally argued with the disciplinary panel that we showed initiative and creativity, and deserved an award instead of punishment. Which was very fortunate, because the army can be very creative. Of course, they 'rewarded' us by sending us in for stormtrooper training..."
Adjutant was not the only one enjoying the story; Thunderball could see the other patrons out of the corner of his eye eavesdropping with thinly veiled interest.
"Is it me," Thunderball whispered, "Or does everypony seem to think we're together?"
Adjutant batted her eyelashes at him. "You do seem to be enjoying my company quite a bit."
Thunderball blushed and looked away. "I–well...it's good to be around someone who doesn't mind all the subterfuge so much."
She leaned across the table and put her chin on her forelegs. "What would you say if I suggested you be around me more?"
He reached out hesitantly and put his hoof on her's. Before he could react, she grabbed his hoof and pulled him in for a deep kiss on the lips. It was only broken when Thunderball's wings shot out and filled the air with a loud rustling. He broke away from her, panting wildly as he folded his wings back and tried to salvage as much dignity from the situation as possible.
"Who wants cupcakes?" Pinkie popped up between the two with a tray of cupcakes.
Adjutant plucked a chocolate cupcake from Pinkie's tray and grinned at Thunderball, who was as still as a statue. "What's the matter? Changeling got your tongue?"
Pinkie Pie giggled. "I'll just leave you two alone. Enjoy the cupcakes!"
Thunderball waited for her to walk out of earshot before growling at Adjutant. "Stop playing around! I'm being serious."
"Of course you are." She pushed a cupcake towards him. "It wouldn't hurt you to relax a little, though."
He took a bite of the cupcake — lemon, with a hint of vanilla. "So, what now?"
"I suggest that we act like adults. You like me, and I like you. The disapproval, shock, admiration, or elation of others is irrelevant."
"Alright. I'm with you so far."
"You are the kind of stallion who would like to take things slowly. I am perfectly fine with that. So, after we finish our snack here, we should take a day off to walk around town and enjoy each other's company."
"Here? Now?" Thunderball looked at the patrons around them, who were listening in with thinly veiled interest. "Look, how about we go back to the castle, finish our work, and spend tomorrow in Canterlot?"
"My, you do know how to take care of a lady," Adjutant purred. "Consider it a date, my fine gentlecolt. I'll make room for it on my calendar."
Thunderball slumped back against his seat, wondering just what he had gotten himself into.
The rest of the day passed in a blur for Thunderball. The paperwork became steadily more monotonous, to the point where he began to long for a disruption in his routine. But no interruptions came; Adjutant had evidently decided to make herself scarce. He tossed himself onto his cloud mattress and wondered why. Perhaps she had work to do herself, or maybe she had decided to apply the law of supply and demand to their relationship.
Relationship.
The word sounded strange, even in Thunderball's head. Well, not so much the word — he had many relationships, professional, familial, platonic, carnal — than this specific use of it. But they did have something between them now; mutual respect, attraction, or perhaps even a bit of both. It was a decidedly odd feeling, though far from unpleasant. He had gone out with mares before, and even slept with them, but they had never provoked such a reaction. If anything, it made him feel like he had before his first deployment — nervous and giddy, yet itching for action.
Canterlot, with its storied history and proud traditions, was the cultural and political capital of Equestria. It had some of the finest universities, banks, museums, and theaters in the country, which made it an ideal place to go on a date. Granted, there was a small amount of awkwardness if your date happened to belong to a species that had previously attempted to level the city and enslave its population, but it was still a better alternative than Ponyville, or the frontier towns.
There were many ways to reach Canterlot. The most common method was by train, which offered in express, regular, or overnight options. Carriage travel was an old standby, and luxury airships lines had started up recently. Being a pegasus, however, offered a far cheaper and faster mode of travel than any of the commercial services — flight.
The wind was strong at their backs that morning as Thunderball and Adjutant flew into Canterlot. True, it was a bit chilly, but a simple grey sweatshirt addressed that problem. Adjutant, for her part, seemed perfectly content with her chitin; Thunderball supposed she was used to cold desert nights. At any rate, the cold was a small price to pay for the magnificent sights along the way; the lush plains and forests of Equestria beneath them, the open skies above, and the snow-capped Canterhorn looming in front.
They glided onto a landing pad carved out of the Canterhorn cliffside for pegasi travellers. Thunderball tightened his hood to prevent recognition from the crowd, while Adjutant stretched her wings and folded them neatly behind her, oblivious to the stares they were receiving.
"So, this is Canterlot!" She looked around at the towers above them curiously. "I must admit, it is far more majestic than the stories I was told. I can see why Chrysalis was willing to launch and invasion for it."
The onlookers tittered among themselves, but Adjutant paid them no attention.Thunderball fought the urge to plant his ironshod hooves into his forehead and made his way into the city. He wracked his brain for something to talk about, out of concern that another comment from her might upset the civilians — the last thing he wanted was for their date to cause an incident. Princess Twilight would kill him, and Princess Celestia would be disappointed.
"You know, I grew up around here. Five blocks down, three to the left, if I remember correctly. Dad worked as a postal clerk for the local office." He swallowed nervously. "I spent my free time roaming about the streets, getting into all sorts of trouble."
Adjutant leaned in so that her head was against his shoulder. "What was it like?"
"Pretty fun! Canterlot's filled with hidden gems that you'd never hear about if you weren't a native. There's a great jam and jelly shop on the corner of 14th and Sunset, a fantastic antiques store tucked away between the warehouses on the far side of town, and this amazing park on the roof of that apartment building to our right."
"So, what did you have in mind for our little excursion into this city of wonders?"
Thunderball hooked his tail around hers and pulled her down an alley to their left. They wove their way through boxes, barrels, and trash cans until they came out on a quiet street. Adjutant barely had time to take in her surroundings before she was pulled to her immediate right, into a small two-story building.
The temperature inside was frigid, even cooler than the mountain air outside. Adjutant looked around curiously; whatever this place was, it had not been designed with comfort in mind. The source of the cold was soon apparent: a giant pond of frozen water in the middle of the floor.
Adjutant could not think of any earthly reason for it. "What's this?"
"It's called ice," Thunderball smirked.
She hit him with her tail. "I know what ice is! Why do you have so much of it here? Have I been taken to an ice factory?"
He winked at her and pulled her over to a counter, where a brown earth pony with an ice–cube on his flank pulled out two sets of bladed boots. For a moment, Adjutant thought they were weapons, but she soon realized that the placement of the blades would have made walking impossible.
Thunderball quickly strapped on his pair and helped her into her own before gliding onto the ice and motioning for her to follow. Adjutant lowered her head to the ice and poked it with her horn, sending a chill through her nerves. She gingerly stepped onto the ice; her blades cut thin grooves into the surface and threatened to slip out from under her. Her wings unfurled and lifted her off of the ground just before she planted her face into the ice.
"Is this some sort of sport?" Adjutant growled, as she gently set herself back down.
As if to taunt her, Thunderball glided forward and circled her as if he was flying. "I suppose you could say that. Though I think of it as fun."
Her abdominal muscles ached from keeping herself upright on the slippery surface. "How in Tartarus are you doing that?"
A thin spray of ice covered her side as he came skidding to a stop beside her. "Set one side's blades perpendicular to the other, then push off."
Adjutant took in a deep breath, dug in with her skates, and did as he said. Dry air rustled through her hair as she soared over the ice. It felt like flying; she closed her eyes and relaxed, losing herself in the sensation. When she opened them again, she found herself bearing down fast on the edge of the ring.
Her wings reflexively deployed to slow herself down as she turned sharply to avoid smashing into the sides. The shift in momentum and velocity caused her to spin around out of control. Adjutant beat her wings in an attempt to clear the edge safely, but found herself flying horizontally instead.
Thunderball's warm body caught her before she smashed into the wall, and guided her back into the center. "Don't get ahead of yourself," he grinned. "It takes a while to get a feel for the ice."
"I know that," she snapped. "I was merely...performing an advanced aerial maneuver."
His smile deepened. "I'd hate to stop you, but I'd appreciate if you'd skate with me and keep me company."
Adjutant laced tails with him again. "Only because you asked nicely." She leaned forward and inching past him. "Well? What are you waiting for? Stop holding me back and move!"
The weather had turned overcast by the time they left the skating rink, with rain clouds covering the sky. A light drizzle started as they walked out onto the street, sending ponies scurrying for cover. Adjutant hummed merrily to herself as she strolled down the streets of Canterlot with Thunderball in tow, utterly unfazed by the precipitation that bounced off of her cheating and rolled off of her gossamer wings.
"So, where to next?"
Thunderball tightened his hood and tilted his head to the right. "There's a soda fountain a few blocks south of here that has the most amazing lunch specials. My treat."
Adjutant nodded, signalling for him to lead on. They walked through the empty streets in a content silence, as the drizzle turned into a rainstorm. The monotonous sound of water hitting the streets was soothing, and Thunderball found himself oddly at peace with the world.
Clip-clop. Splash.
Someone was behind them. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up as he realized this was the perfect setup for an ambush.
Several figures came out of a nearby alleyway, cutting off their retreat. Thunderball's eyes darted around as he assessed the situation.
The hostile who had approached them from behind was a unicorn mare. She stumbled towards them, as if drunk. Intoxication in the middle of the day suggested a habit of substance abuse. Her stance resembled that which enlistees were taught in basic training. Possibly ex-military, with a dishonorable discharge for alcoholism. At the very least, trained by someone with military experience.
An earth pony twirling a sling kept to the back. The three unicorns in front of him were levitating nets in front of them. He glanced above to see two pegasi circling overhead. Likely spotters, but they would be fully capable of joining a fight. This was a well organized attack, especially considering that his decision to come to Canterlot was spontaneously made yesterday morning. Planning of this nature implied that this was not just a band of ruffians out to commit petty crime or acts of bigotry. Given the effort and resources needed, this was likely to be some sort of political statement.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Adjutant lowered her horn as they drew closer. "What is the meaning of this?"
Thunderball rustled his wings in an attempt to generate a static charge, but the moisture in the air made that impossible. He'd have to be moving much faster–
A bullet whistled through the air; Thunderball dodged to the left and felt it smash into his jaw with a sickening crack. The metallic taste of blood filled his mouth as he reeled from the shot. Nets stretched out above them; Adjutant caught one and flung it back, ensuring a unicorn in the process, but failed to dodge another. Thunderball continued moving to the left and let a net sail past him.
There was no time to think. He jumped up into the air and spun around, shaking the water from his body. A familiar cackle of static electricity rushed across his skin as he dove down into the middle of the group. The unicorn in the net was unfortunate to have Thunderball land directly on him. His screams of pain echoes in the streets as as electricity flooded through his body and swept across the cobblestones.
The other ponies jumped aside as one of the pegasi dove down to intercept the wave of electricity. It ran up her hooves and into her body as she caught the blast and pushed it back out at him. Thunderball ducked as a lightning bolt tore past him and the unicorn mare at his rear. A window shattered from somewhere down the street, indicating that the lightning bolt had found a mark.
A leg sweep quickly knocked the pegasus off balance and send her falling face–first into the pavement. Thunderball launched himself forward and was careful to step plant a horseshoe on the back of her skull as he dove towards the earth pony. Another bullet flew out of the sling, but the pony's aim was off; Thunderball heard a metallic ding as the bullet ricocheted off of a streetlamp.
He landed in front of the earth pony, who promptly tried to punch him. The blow landed on Thunderball's chest; he twisted and let it roll across his ribs. The punch carried on past him, leaving the earth pony vulnerable to a swift punch to the solar plexus that left him doubling over in pain. Thunderball grabbed the earth pony's neck and pulled, sending the pony flying in to the middle of the street.
The momentum from the throw carried him back around to face the others. Two of the unicorns had taken cover behind a cart and were exchanging magical blasts with Adjutant, who had rolled behind a barrel. The remaining pegasus had yet to join; it was likely that they needed at least one lookout. That left the drunk unicorn mare.
Where was she?
A high-pitched ringing filled his ears as the air pressure around him suddenly changed, the way it did when an inexperienced or intoxicated magic user cast a teleportation spell. Thunderball turned around just in time to see the mare telekinetically thrusted at knife at him. His wings propelled him back, but the knife followed him, stabbing at him like the needle of a sewing machine.
Thunderball's back legs clattered against a round metal cylinder. The smell filling his nostrils suggested that it was a garbage can. He stepped to the side as the knife bore down on him and threw the can at the knife, catching it in a healthy layer of refuse. The window of opportunity was slim, so he lowered his head and charged at her before she could free the weapon.
She grabbed him by the shoulders to swing him into a nearby wall. Thunderball responded by clutching her forelegs and planting his rear hooves on the wall so that he could pushed off of it. The maneuver sent her flying back into a streetlamp, but her grip was firm and Thunderball soon found himself wrestlingwith her on the pavement. They stood upright with their forelegs locked together, neither capable of unbalancing or overpowering the other.
A bead of energy built up on the tip of her horn; Thunderball's front hooves were locked in a grapple which negated his main method of disrupting her spell. He quickly spread his legs and swiped her back right leg with his tail; a thin red line appeared on her upper thigh, right across her common digital extensor tendon.
The leg gave way beneath her weight as Thunderball pushed her back. The shot intended for him went wild as he grabbed her throat and smashed her head into the cobbled streets beneath them. Her eyes rolled into the back of her sockets from the force of the impact.
Shadows filled the streets as the air filled with pegasi. Thunderball crouched on the ground and looked up. How many of them were there?
"EVERYPONY STAND DOWN! NOW"
A member of the Royal Guard, in golden armor that shone despite the rain, dropped down into the middle of the fight , with a half a dozen others in tow. The remaining two unicorns tried to make a run for it, but a lightning bolt struck the pavement right in front of them, courtesy of another guard in the skies above. The slowly raised their hooves and turned to face the guards.
Thunderball squinted through the rain; the lead pony looked terribly familiar. "Lt. Sentry?"
Flash Sentry turned around to face him. "Captain. Would you kindly stop throttling the mare beneath you so that we can arrest her?"
Thunderball looked down and suddenly realized that he was crushing her windpipe. He immediately released her and stepped back towards the guards. "Sorry, I…"
The taste and smell of copper in his mouth and nostrils was suddenly all Thunderball could think about. He choked on blood and saliva as his muscles suddenly turned numb. For a moment, he teetered on four quivering legs before they gave out. Flash Sentry drove forwards and caught Thunderball before he could hit the ground.
"Silent!" Flash shouted as he straightened Thunderball's body to a more comfortable position. Something peeked out at him from within Thunderball's tail. Flash parted the strands to reveal a black metal blade tied to Thunderball's tail hairs.Flash raised an eyebrow. Tail blades were an assassin's tool. "I trust you have a permit for that concealed weapon, Captain?"
Thunderball swallowed nervously. "It would be foolish of me not to."
"Hm." Flash gave the blade a hard look. Hiding lethal weapons on the body was a felony offense. "I suppose it would be."
For a moment, Thunderball looked as if he might faint again. "I'm not...we're not in trouble, are we?"
After an eternity, Flash Sentry brushed his hoof against Thunderball's tail, covering up the blade before another guard hurried over with an umbrella. "Don't worry, a shopkeeper called us in. She saw the whole thing."
Thunderball's glanced around the street. "How's Adjutant?"
Flash shuffled out of the way to show a guard cutting Adjutant out of her net. She leaped out of it and ran to Thunderball's side. "You're hurt! You're bleeding!"
"I'm fine." His legs were still twitching sporadically, his voice was shaky, and his body trembling uncontrollably, but he felt as if he were on top of the world. "Never felt better. I could really go for some carrots right about now."
Adjutant carefully laid his head on her lap and looked at him with concern in her eyes, while Flash shook his head.
"Ignore him, ma'am. Adrenaline does that to ponies. We'll have the medic check him out once she's done with the others, and then you two will be free to leave." Flash then turned to the white pegasus who was patiently holding an umbrella by their side. "Silent Knight will escort you around for the rest of your visit."
"Silent, eh?" Thunderball grinned like a maniac and cocked his head towards the young pegasus. "Do you have a cousin named Dark in the 82nd Airborne?"
Silent saluted him sharply. "Sir, yes sir! Do you know him, sir?"
"I think I kicked his flank in a bar fight once," Thunderball chuckled.
Silent Knight looked over the remains of the street and the ponies being escorted away by the recruits. "I can believe that, sir."
Adjutant gently stroked his mane as she examined the injuries dotting Thunderball's body, the guards rounding up their assailants, and Silent Knight beside them. "So what now?"
Thunderball threw a tired foreleg around Adjutant and pulled her closer to him. "How about we finish our date at that soda fountain on Oakwood and Vine?"
She leaned down and kissed him on the forehead. "Anything you want, my dear."
