A Spike Quest to search something that he doesn't remember, during his quest he will face a lot of difficulties and random events.
A Spike Quest to search something he doesn't remember this fan fiction is written with 6 hands (me and two other guys) originally it was in Italian. You have been warned.
it's not rare to come across story like this one, some times is linen, maybe even hemp, a lot of hemp.
Nobody could give a concrete explanation, not even with clay, let's not talk about mastic...
What is this about you may ask? Hard to say, really hard, that's why we have to go back in time to find the solute (the solution is aqueous most of the time, so we don't need to find it).
We are in Equestria a suburb of. We can see everywhere pony and other colored things. Ourmain character is one, not two, but one. Of course he have a gender a color and a race, like everybody else. Onestly we don't know if he is a pony, a griffin,a dragon, a tree or Pino Daniele,we don't know if he is live or playback.
The only thing we know is that he is pushed toward one single goal, finding someone. Here you may ask “Who pushed him? He apologise after that? He was malesian?” the answer to all this question is fizzy, but not gluten free, remember that. As said before, we are clearly talking about Spike, the dragon, who, looking for his goal, had found himself wandering in every possible and immaturable land, asking everybody with the sound of sax, like this “Sorry, Sax where I can find Spike the dragon? No? Ahahah, anyway you really suck, stop laughing on that dead dog, cant you see he is a dalmatian?”.
We can't really tell what's going to happen, but somehow when can discover what will happen, so hang on that cliff beacuse this is going to be a cliffhanger... I hope, readers and bullovers, you can find a why, because at the moment, why why....
Second Tragic Prologue
It was difficult, very difficult, but this doesn't scare him. The mysterious creature wanted to find Spike at all costs. He wanted his revenge, his lovely squid revenge, that's was her name because she love to eat bet, squids and revenges. Spike had nothing to do with that squid, the mysterious creature eat her, but he wanted her back anyway.
Is not clear how, but he arrived, after many labors, he arrived in one place, and there he remain.
Then some pony arrived, probably because without them the story couldn't become an audiobook, and the mysterious creature could have been sad, expecially on the pacific coast. They were ponies, that were his thoughts, before start hitting them and ask them half asleep “Where is Spike? Eh?? Tell Me! Tell me Before!” the ponies just melt from the terror, without saying anything except “fuck you”, a famous little city near. Only one information, a lot of qwerty color sewage, and a lot of confusion in the ball of wool that was on his ends. “What can I do?Melting pony doesn't help a lot, and that guy, is better not making him angry” He was talking about Giancarlo Cranio, also known as “a lot” for his passion for grammar, Cranio prefers nebulized ponies, a lot easier to apply on... Hands.
“I will not go very far this way...” said to himself the mysterious creature, and so he does, he stayed still for 45 hours, in that exact same place. After 45 hours and 1 minute a pony, white for his aged fur, yell at the mysterious creature: “Let's fly to the castle!”
The mysterious creature replied by falling hurting himself really bad, really really bad, so bad that by instinct he said “Damn white pony for his aged fur, I hurt myself real bad, really really bad!”
The white pony should have talked about leprosy, and why not, even. But he didn't, and he just asked “Tell me, what are you? Why are you here? I never seen something like you in my entire life, and I have seen a lot of things! Maybe even twenty seven! But maybe I'm wrong, at my age you start to understand shit, it has such a complex mathematical formula and penis...” “Pen...etration?” asked the mysterious creature “No” answered the penis “Ok, I don't understand , but can I at least ask something?” asked the mysterious creature “No you can't, and now eat up the question you just asked me!” Told the white pony “But I'm allergic to questions, I want to make a bet!” “Ok, You lost” “I WANT MY REVENGE” “Here it is” The white pony gave a little and cute squid to the mysterious creature, which, after had shown a three teeth smile , flied away, sliding with the face on the naked and sexy ground. The mysterious creature was moved, he even spit a little bit of blood while he was watching the pony going away with such grace, that imploded in a wonderful kiwi at five, no, at four. He than looked at his Revenge and whispered “I'm going to find spike, I promise you”
The squid, moved, scream as a squid when she get eaten alive for the second time by the mysterious creature.
He had taken his revenge.
Prologue Against Everyone
Spike waked up. He was naked and wet. Of course that wasn't water, that was soy mascarpone.
He decide then to undress and to eat himself. Now he had another problem, the live flesh exposed to air and a lot of mascarponed scale that turned around in his stomach. The solution was 47.
“AAAAAAHHHH!!!!” Spike screamed.
He look around... he had a nightmare. He wasn't wet, and neither fourty seven, he was simply covered in others being fecal material, like every other Thursday.
“Yet another nightmare, this week is the tenth of seconds...” “Spike! You ok...” “Yes, thanks...” “Need more shit? I have to come upstairs?” “No, thank you Twilight, I have more than enough, you can go back to sleep now” “Some times I just can't understand you Spike” Said Twilight while she gently start to sleepy burping “Petunias Twilight, think of Petunias” “No, Spike”
Everything went silent.
Spike started to model some shape of Padan Parmisan while he thought about the last strange dream he had. “I have dreamed of being a Mystery... Why all this mysteries? I still have to find this thing that I don't know, if I also have to...” He was brutally interrupt by an angry puerto rican transsexual, which, while screaming “ALLE TRES IN PUNTOS!” ran and hit with a punch the purple little dragon right in the face, who as a reaction made a cute face.
“Josè,is that you?” asked twilight from her bed
Josè had started to vigorously penetrate Spike.
“Whatever, when you are done can you please water my petunias like only you can? Goodnight!” said Twilight while stabbing screams and animal like sound beautify a crystal clear night.
After 4 hour without stop, Josè start to watering vigorously, while spike deeply changed, very deeply, started to think.
“Tomorrow I'll start to look for that object again, I let pass to much time and I'm starting to have nightmares while I'm doing nothing, must be a sign”
From under his pillow Spike took out some object.
“An handle, a cheeseburger and a josè smelling loincloth, which I changed for an old plastic box... This object had something to do with what I can't remember, but they are not enough!”
Spike stood up and went to the window.
“I must continue my research!” said Spike talking to the moon “Why would I give a fuck?” answered the moon while watering the petunias with Josè
Spike woke up screaming the inception soundtrack “Buuuooooooooooooooun”. Quickly Hans Zimmer slap him while screaming “We have to go deeper!” after this he reap out of his throat the soundtrack music sheet and run away passing through the window.
“Twilight? Did you forget again to close the mirror to Hollywood?” said while he was knotting he's carotid.
He waited the answer of the young seapony, but nothing happened, neither a voice, neither a sound or a shotgun blast from he's loved Twilight, not even Gennaro from the floor below spit he's usually complaints followed by random quotes from the Divine Commedy told backward. Everything was silent, except made for a little dugong who was howling at the armed arm of the milky way, that as always was trying to keep the little 12 tons weight dugong by shooting at him with plastic bullet.
“Holy Copyright!” said the little dragon trying not to think about the petunias. “I hope this is not one of Twilight snaky night!” said while opening the fridge to see if maybe the pony was licking the mechanics of that poor machine, thing that she usually does after discovering the existance of the jew in equestria.
While he was checking a strange buzzing catch him out of breath, Spike could resist the urge to rotate his head of 180° degrees and broke his neck for the forty seventh time. He just turn around slowly. The heart of the dragon just stop beating, luckily he had a pecemaker “Saveslave Beghi”
He was breathless and the symphonic orchestra played a tense music trying not to notice the leader of the orchestra that was laying on their feet on thè overdose. “Is that you John Wayne?” exclaim Spike turning around keeping his breath because of the tension.
A big portable heater buzzed with anger from his forty centimeter height, while Spike screamed as only Josè could do (apparently there were a lot of things that only Josè could do) and he throws himself on the intruder biting it, in the fight a family of cashews get killed.
While Spike show his most powerful move “stroking head against wet and sticky surface” he get enlighten by an idea, an idea of two hundred twenty volt coming from a non secure cable, this gets seventh grade burns all over the beautiful part of his body.
The dragon bite his buttock thinking “maybe this will get him frightened”
This time Spikes head turn around by 180° degree and the dragon shows to the heater a twelfth survived teeth smile and a lot of bloody mucus. The heater run away by taking off his leg and making them rotate as an helicopter. It was a moving scene.
Spike, dizzying, died, then he thought:”there's something wrong about this”. A surprising phallus shape pumice stone was after all continuously falling from the not so sure grip of the dragon, this make him think “Mh, I have to do a pregnancy test” He didn't pass it, he took 13.
He then decide to go outise to show to the world his imminent broken ankle, which, as it right, will occur after the close contact with icelandic castanets player. “Vulcoanolè” yelled the castanets players.
Spike smiled as his ankle start to slowly broke by twirling like the witch of the sud-est asiatic.
All of a sudden a pony with an unusual beige suit a mustache and a strange machine on his shoulder which end with a strange object that he keeps with a hoof appeared on the scene.
“Good scoot, where am I?” said looking around “I have seen you somewhere else” Spike told to his feet which have twirled all the way to hi shoulder “Ah! A heater!” yelled the mustache pony wile looking at Spike After this he activated the machine from which come out ball of infinite dense energy, which, when they reach the dragon, explode in carnivorous chrysanthemums, that start to say bad joke about deer.
“No, not the Artiodattilus” Said Spike while he was trying without success to lick his ear “Stop there little boy, I have made a mistake, stop reading that toilet paper and listen to me” said the pony Spike accomplish on licking his hear and he gave the pregnancy test another time. “I am Flam, a pony with the mustache, maybe you will remember for my mustache, it's hard not to notice my mustache” “of course, now I remember those mustache” said Spike “What mustache?” Answered Flam
Spike couldn't lick his elbow
“Anyway, I'm here on a special mission, I'm looking for a crazy heater, and I has a woman and as the fourth best heatbuster in the world, I'm here to find it and to save Ponyville from the mold” “Why? Why can't I lick my elbow?” “That's the spirit my boy!” Said that Flam took Spike and throw him against the cement ground destroying his nasal sectum.
“her hair were made of gold and she has a beautiful stained smile” this was the description of the beautiful lady in the book read by the heater, “cold night” fourth book on the top right in Twilight library, between “how to burp with your nose” and “enter book title here”.
A great book, no doubt about it.
Spike never liked it.
Spike decide to help the mustached energumen in his quest, then he also help Flam.
“bau bau” said the dog when he sees the plant in the middle of the glass field.
Spike and Flam walk around looking for the heater, they found it immediately, but walking around was fun so they kept walking. 2 weeks passed.
The heater inpatient froze to death. A lot of cry at the funeral. Spike in his black dress thought about what could have been after death, what is the meaning of life if everything, as Twilight as said, ends with an endless emptiness after death. He almost made it, one little step and he could understand the absolute truth, but something made his way in his head, something you cannot escape from once he take you.
A dog pooped in the field.
After the funeral Spike went back home, he didn't know if he'll ever see again Flam or the heater.
The following show that he has cake.
While Spike was laying on his bed his window get crashed because a fight entered his room, after that from the hole in the window entered Flam and the heater.
“so at the end it wasn't dead” mumbled Spike “who?” “Flam” “he's mustache died” answered the heater.
from the tears of Spike come out an eye.
“I think you have something to do with the object of my quest” said the dragon “you are right...” said Flam
Spike Allows himself to burp Flam out of the room.
“come on, let's go heater!” “Ok, but I want a piece of that cake” “Which cak...” Spike Smelling his pockets found a cake
The Cake was an adjective, but there was no time to lose, Spike's quest must go on!
Spike, sitting on a bench, was thinking about his next destination.
But no idea came to his mind.
If someone could have cracked open Spike's head they would have found some parrots, some very small parrots that were attacked by some huge crackers.
They were blue parrots.
Someone who could actually crack open Spike's head exist, his name was Giancarlo.
Spike tired of waiting sublime away from the bench and start a war against The World.
After million died and entire civilization were wiped away Spike realize that the road for “the World” the famous yellow bar, was in the other direction.
A crazy run bring Spike to “the World”, and when Spike turn around to thank her, she replied with a spoon.
On his teeth.
The Bar's door was completely in one piece and just outside of it there was patiently waiting five white ponies, every one of them was armed with a weapon.
But because they are not part of this story we can't know what or who they were waiting, and we actually don't even care that much to be honest.
Entering the bar Spike notice something that make him skip a beat.
It was blellow.
The world around Spike collapsed when he realized that all his life was a lie.
Spike thought about killing himself.
Then he thought about milk.
At the end he thought about his foot, who, in the meantime, separate himself from the rest of his body and went to a dark corner to kill himself, sure that the other foot will for sure save him.
The other foot didn't save him.
Luckily for Spike, the bar was full of feet, finding a substitute wouldn't be hard.
He just had to broke a table.
The new hand just appears almost like it was a miracle.
Spike lost, asked what lesson was it.
They said it was math.
Spike had bring the literature book.
Near Spike sit a Pony that Spike immediately recognize, he remember perfectly her Sapphire Shore.
“Hey, but you are name” “No”
Spike took it personally, he wasn't ready to become a burner, he took a glass of acid and throw it in Sapphire Shore's face hoping to save the world from the AIDS.
Later that day, AIDS, or for the friends Aidiesse, or Pina, died by cancer, cancer became than the national hero.
Sapphire in the meantime was chewing the third hear of Spike.
“Why are you here” said Spike. “I didn't have” replied Sapphire Shore chewing Spike's vertebral column “What?” “The Pentecostephilia”
Spike screamed while terrorized he puke heated embers on the face of Giovanni, a young official of the SS, which was departed to pick up Polish sunflower and to dance the Mazurca of Canterlot. (The last edition made start the thirty years war, this war ended when they realized that there was no more half seasons).
“You are God!” “Sey...” “Please answer my question!”
Sapphire devour a video with extreme anger and nod exclaiming “Kallinka”
“Who framed Roger Rabbit?” “Raz Degan” “Adolf Hitler was a good seapony?” “Yes, after all he killed Adolf Hitler” “My Holy Navarrosh...” Spike after acknowledging this great truth notice that some superfluous hair were growing on his chest and face, he than became Rasputin.
“And remember my son” Whispered Sapphire while she was picking his hair with a fork. “What? Speak Damn it!” replied Google Rasputin with tears in his eyes. “The Ironclad Potemkin won an Oscar”
The city was taken by the flame in a transiberian explosion.
Passed over the Springish Autumn, Spike found himself at Twilight house.
“That's where I am” said Spike after founding himself.
From the bathroom a voice called the little dragon.
“Hey you! Come help me!”
Spike heated up start running in the bathroom direction, he was heated up because he was happy to help someone, and also because he started slowly to catch fire.
Arrived as ashes, Spike could assist at a very usual scene in the bathroom.
Sapphire Shore, armed with a plumber, was fighting against a huge monster made of fecal material.
“Hurry! Hurry! Do something!” said desperately Sapphire.
Spike made some lovely seashell necklaces.
Sapphire Shore, moved, start to puke tear of joy that made the monster feel better and they freed Bambi from the claws of Mufasa.
“This seashells are made of plastic” said Spike with a serious voice.
At that word the monster get angrier and start to read a lot of books.
The horror was indescribable, so we are not going to describe it.
Spike and Sapphire could miraculously escape, and incredibly nobody got hurt.
That's why a 320 Kg extremely huge guy entered the library and broke both Spike's ankle.
Twilight entered a little bit later in the library and after she had seen the huge mess she yelled something.
“Something!” said Twilight
After a little bit a wall start shaking.
Those were pretty scary words, so nobody made fun of the wall.
Not far away, some virtuous tulips were watching the scene, and they decide to interfere. They took their best ride and declare their love for him.
The ride start to moo copiously while a dinosaur from another age said hello to everybody removing his tuba every time. He played in an underground band.
The tulips entered from the window, right in the toilet and got out proudly from their vase, which had grown up a lot, maybe even 20 millimeters, but I don't want to exaggerate.
The monster stop reading but he never even had the time to sing a folklorist song that he got eaten by the vase.
Spike, that became a sink, watched the scene without saying a word.
“That vase!” said Spike while deploying hot water “Without a doubt the thing that I'm looking for has something to do with that vase!”
Sapphire Shore watched Spike while he was building a table
From their union, they gave life to some delicious table with sink and creme.
