Chapter 1
Give You Up
by Monochromatic
Twilight looked at the residents of Ponyville from atop the library’s balcony. She watched them go about their usual routines, feeling slightly annoyed that everyone was acting so normally while her entire world was falling and crashing around her.
She knew she could probably avoid the conflict for a few more weeks, months even, but the best solution was to do it as soon as possible, while the damage wouldn’t be irreparable; or rather, while Twilight would still be able to stomach “just being friends” with the unicorn.
She looked over at Carousel Boutique in the distance and wondered what was taking Rarity so long to come over. Why couldn’t she just hurry up and get to the library so that Twilight could just get it over with?
Eventually, the door of the fashionista’s house opened, and Twilight was very upset when she saw Fancy Pants step out the door. Rarity appeared a few seconds later, laughing at something he was saying. Anyone new in town would have thought they were a couple leaving home for the day, what with how they were laughing and having fun together.
Gosh, why don’t they just run off together already if they like each other so much?, thought Twilight, bitter with jealousy. Ever since Fancy Pants had become Rarity's partner, the stallion's visits to Ponyville had become more and more frequent. Twilight hadn't minded, at first, knowing that all the time Rarity spent with Fancy was strictly for friendly business, but then ponies had started talking.
"Gosh, Rarity and that stallion she's always with look soooo cute together!"
"You're dating Rarity, Twilight? Oh, I thought she and Fancy Pants were a couple! They fit really well! O-Oh, but you do too, ha ha!"
She watched as Rarity and Fancy started making their way towards the library and felt relieved when he said goodbye to Rarity before walking the other way. The last thing Twilight needed was for both of them to come over together.
Twilight went back inside the library and started going down the staircase, the book Rarity needed floating right behind her. Thank Celestia that Spike was away for the day; things were about to get ugly and she didn’t want the little dragon to get caught in the crossfire.
Five minutes later, the library door opened and in came a smiling Rarity, obviously still amused by whatever Fancy had told her. Twilight was sitting on the other side of the room, nose stuck between the pages of some random book she had picked.
“Hello, Twilight!” Rarity warmly greeted, closing the door behind her. “Sorry I’m late, darling.”
“Hello,” replied Twilight, not looking up from her book.
Silence took over the room as Rarity waited in vain for Twilight to add more to her greeting. “I see you are quite busy with your studies,” she finally said after a minute. “In that case, I won’t take long. There’s a book I need to borrow from you. I think Fancy came in earlier to let you kno— Ah yes, this one.” She used her magic to pick up the book Twilight had unceremoniously floated in front of her mid-sentence.
“I’m thinking of making some designs based on the history of Equestria,” explained Rarity, looking through the pages of the book. “Fancy is coming over later to assist me with some of the more complicated spells.”
Twilight felt another rush of anger and jealousy course through her body. Why did she need Fancy, anyway? She was dating the bearer of the element of magic. It was like she had said that on purpose just to tick Twilight off. She didn’t even feel like talking to Rarity anymore — she just wanted the unicorn to leave her alone before jealousy made her say things she’d later regret.
“Will that be all, Rarity?” Twilight interrupted, still looking intently at her book. “I have to finish studying before Spike gets back.”
“That’s all I needed, sweetie. I’ll be out of your mane soon,” Rarity replied, suddenly sitting down, “right after you tell me why you’re upset with me.”
Twilight finally looked up from her book, trying to act nonchalant. “Upset? I’m not upset with you, Rarity,” she lied, hoping the unicorn would be satisfied with her answer and leave.
Rarity cocked her head to the side. “Darling, I do think I know you well enough by now to be able to tell when you’re upset.”
Twilight forced a smile. “Rarity, I’m fine. Now, if you don't mind...” She looked back at her book, hoping Rarity would take a hint.
“Twilight, if I remember correctly, when we started dating, it was you who said that we should never keep secrets or problems from each other. Why are you upset with me?”
“Rarity, I'm seriously fine, okay? Don't worry.”
The unicorn looked at Twilight thoughtfully before eventually giving up. “If you say so, darling,” she sighed, turning around and heading for the door. As she opened it, she suddenly looked as if struck with an idea.
“Oh my! I just thought of something better for my design, but I'll need to start earlier. You wouldn't happen to know where Fancy was supposed to be today, would you?” Rarity inquired, turning to look at Twilight.
Twilight rolled her eyes. “How should I know? You were the one talking to him five minutes ago,” she retorted, a little more rudely than intended.
“And how did you know that, pray tell?” questioned Rarity, closing the door behind her.
Whoops.
“Were you spying on us, Twilight?” continued Rarity, raising an eyebrow.
“Of course not!” she quickly said, defensively. “I just wanted to see what was taking you so long.”
Rarity looked thoroughly unconvinced by Twilight's reply. “Is that the only reason?”
“Yes!” Twilight snapped. “Trust me, I don't care what you and Fancy Pants do together all day.”
“Oh, now I see what's bothering you,” Rarity observed. “It never occurred to me that you would be jealous of Fancy.”
“I am not jealous,” Twilight argued, now quite irritated. “And I'd appreciate it if you stopped questioning me!”
“Twilight, honestly, you're as easy to read as a boo-”
“Listen, Rarity,” Twilight interrupted, slamming her book shut and turning to look at Rarity. “I don't want to talk about this right now, okay?!”
“But I do,” Rarity replied, her tone a little softer but nonetheless firm. “Not being able to help you only makes me feel terrible, and I rather think that the two of us moping around won't help our case.”
Twilight wanted to fight back, but she knew Rarity was right. She might as well continue with the original plan and just get it over with. “Fine.”
“Good!” Rarity exclaimed, quite pleased that Twilight had finally given in. She sat down and looked expectantly at Twilight. “What's wrong, sweetheart?”
Twilight looked away, trying to think of what to say. How was somepony supposed to break up with someone they were still hopelessly in-love with? Should she be direct or be indirect, maybe trying to give hints?
“I... I'm not sure this is working anymore.”
Twilight never was one to beat around the bush.
If Rarity had been shocked by this statement, her expression did not betray her. Funny how stoic the unicorn could be when things turned really dramatic. “I see,” she said simply. “Why do you think that?”
Of all the times for Rarity to not display her emotions, it had to be then. It would have been so much easier for Twilight to gauge what to say if Rarity wasn't being so frustratingly calm and collected. Twilight would have almost preferred to be faced with an outraged Rarity.
“I've seen how you and Fancy look together...”
“Twilight, there is nothing 'going on' between Fancy and I,” Rarity quickly cleared up. “I admit we've been spending a lot of time together, but it is only because of the partnership, nothing more.”
“But he spent the night at your place the other day,” Twilight accused. “How do you expect me not to thi-”
“Darling, it's not what you think,” Rarity soothed. “He was helping me out late, and he fell asleep on my couch while we were talking. It was already extremely late so, rather than wake him up, I let him sleep on the couch.
“I can see why that would bother you, though,” she continued, offering Twilight her sincerest expression, “and I should have let you known what had happened. But I can promise you that nothing happened that night because I love you, Twilight — not somepony else.”
Twilight felt her heart shrink. She knew Rarity was telling the truth. That damnably beautiful unicorn did love Twilight, and that only made everything harder for the purple mare. If Rarity had cheated on Twilight, sure, it would have broken Twilight's heart, but at least she could have gone through with the breakup more easily.
"Twilight, what's really going on?" Rarity asked, furrowing her brow. "You know I know when you're hiding something from me."
Damn Rarity and her ability to read Twilight like an open book. Twilight gulped down hard and decided to just say it, especially now that the option to not do so had been taken away from her.
“I...I don't want to be with you anymore."
Now Rarity showed some emotion.
“But Twilight,” she replied, insistent, “I give you my word that there is nothing between Fancy and I!”
“I know,” Twilight responded, not daring to look at Rarity out of fear of giving in to her urge to cry, “but it's not that!”
“Then what is?” Rarity pressed, anxiously.
“You shouldn't be with someone like me! You should be with someone like him!” Twilight blurted out, her voice starting to crack.
“Huh? But, darling, why would you think that?”
“Because he's a stallion!” Twilight cried out, unable to hold back her tears, and then whispering, “and I'm a mare.”
Rarity stood up, her face twisted with concern. “Sweetheart, I couldn't care less what other ponies think about me for being in love with a mare,” she whispered lovingly, taking a few steps towards Twilight, only for the purple mare to take a few step backs.
“But I do, Rarity,” she sniffled.
“But — But you told me that you didn't care what ponies thought of us, either!” Rarity exclaimed, her tone betraying a smidgen of hurt. “Or were you lying to me?”
“No, you don't understand! I care about what they say of you, not me!” Twilight went on, rubbing her eyes with her hoof. “I can't stand to see how differently ponies treat you just because of me. Those ponies from Canterlot and what they tol--”
“But, darling, they don't matter,” Rarity interjected.
“Yes, they do matter, Rarity! Ever since I've known you, it's been your dream to be part of that social group, and it's my fault you’re being kept from it!” Twilight argued. “I-I don't want to live the rest of my life knowing that you gave up your biggest dream, your reputation, everything you ever wanted and worked for because of me!” Twilight finished, before whispering, “I can't...”
“Twilight, we've talked about this before! You're being ridicu--”
“Please, Rarity,” Twilight begged, pleaded. “I just want to be friends… ” She was looking down at the floor; too terrified to look at Rarity for fear that the unicorn's tears would only break Twilight's heart even more. “Please don't make this harder...”
“B-But Twilight...” Rarity trailed off, her own voice starting to crack.
“Please...”
Rarity stood in silence before taking a few more steps towards Twilight and nuzzling against her. Twilight allowed herself to return the gesture, knowing that Rarity had conceded defeat and was simply saying a silent goodbye to their romantic relationship.
Twilight desperately tried to commit the feeling to her memory, tried to somehow find a way to preserve the sensation of Rarity's fur against hers, of Rarity lovingly burying her muzzle against her neck. How it pained the mare to know that they would never nuzzle or kiss again, only hug in the most painfully platonic way.
After a few moments, Rarity tore herself away from Twilight and took a deep breath. “I guess I'll be on my way, then.” She used her magic to take the book she needed and walked towards the door. She opened it and, without looking back, left the library.
Twilight sat down on the floor and stared at the door, her mind in shock. It was over.
It was really over.
Months passed until almost two years had gone by since Twilight had broken up with Rarity. Even though Rarity had gone through some type of moods swings the first few weeks after the breakup (sometimes being excessively nice to Twilight and others being terribly indifferent), the two magical ponies had managed to retain their close friendship.
Rarity started going more and more to Canterlot and Manehattan, up to the point that she was now one of the top designers in all of Equestria. The speed with which she had achieved that position was also quite impressive. The weeks following the breakup, Twilight had noticed that Rarity had tripled her efforts to become a top designer, and while Twilight knew it was mostly because of her friend’s relentless dedication, she couldn’t help but wonder if the fact that they weren’t together anymore was a factor to Rarity’s success.
Twilight knew it was very selfish to think that way – to think that sacrificing her relationship with Rarity was what allowed Rarity access into the fashion world -- but it was the only way she could cope with what she had done. It was her way of convincing herself that she had given up the love of her life for the greater good, and not because of her insecurities.
Unfortunately, even with this in mind, she realized that her love for the unicorn had not dissipated with time. It had remained as strong as ever, except now it lay hidden in the depths of her heart. Twilight made damn sure that Rarity never got any hints of the her lingering feelings, of course. She didn’t have the right to expose what she really felt when it had been she who ended the relationship in the first place.
In any case, Rarity was already very much over Twilight. The fashionista had dated a few stallions from Canterlot and Manehattan during her rise to fame, and while none of the relationships lasted long, it was clear that she had moved on. In fact, it was only made clearer when Rarity brought a date to the party Twilight and the others had organized for her, celebrating the unicorn's accomplishments after a very successful fashion show.
A little after midnight, Twilight left the party to go sit outside in the Palace Garden for a bit. She was having a great time, mind you, but she needed to rest a bit from all the excitement.
“Ah, Twilight! There you are.”
Twilight looked around and saw Rarity standing outside the door to the Ballroom.
The unicorn was wearing a purple dress of her own design, accessorized with a beautiful tiara atop her head. Her hair was done up in a half-ponytail, and Twilight had to bite down a smitten smile.
“Hi, Rarity.”
"Sweetheart, whatever are you doing out here?" Rarity asked, raising an eyebrow. "It's much warmer inside."
“I’m just taking a little break. I think I’ve danced a little too much for one night,” Twilight confessed with a smile, watching as Rarity trotted over to her.
Rarity sat down next to Twilight, fixing her dress in the process. She looked at the garden and sighed rather dreamily. “It’s been a terribly good evening,” she said, before glancing at Twilight. “I really can’t thank you girls enough.”
Twilight smiled at her. “Oh, not at all, Rarity! You deserve it. Especially with how fast you got here. That’s no easy feat.”
Rarity looked down in a rather meek fashion. “Oh, well, it was just hard work and dedication, really.”
“In any case, we’re all proud of you,” Twilight said. “I’m really proud of you,” she added with slight hesitation. She was worried about suddenly making it personal, but it was nothing but the absolute truth. Twilight’s chest swelled with pride at how talented Rarity was.
Rarity stared at Twilight with an expression the unicorn couldn’t really define. After a few minutes, however, she looked away towards the garden. “I’m just glad I’ve finally done it,” she said. “I couldn’t really afford to not get here as quickly as I did.”
“Huh? Why not?” Twilight asked. She had been surprised at how fast Rarity had ascended into the fashion world, but she didn’t know Rarity had done it because of time constraints.
“I needed to get to a place where I’d be untouchable,” Rarity explained. “You know, from scandals and such.”
This took Twilight by surprise. “Scandals? I thought you didn’t care about what other people said or thought about you,” she inquired, remembering what Rarity had told her the day they broke up. Had she been lying?
“Oh, I couldn’t care less about scandals, darling, or about what anypony thinks of me,” she replied. “Even though now I’m officially above all those petty things, I was really always above them.”
“Then why did you need to get there so fast? If you don’t care about them.”
“Well, I just don’t ever want to lose somepony again because they’re afraid they’ll harm my reputation.”
Twilight felt her stomach drop at Rarity's words. She didn't know how to respond to that; she could only stare at the other mare, a knot forming in her throat.
“You broke my heart in ways I didn't even think it could be broken, Twilight,” Rarity continued, still looking in front of her. “I made my way through this industry so quickly not only because I knew I had the talent for it, but also because I never again wanted to go through what happened with you.”
"Rarity… Really? You're really going to do this?"
"It's the truth, Twilight," Rarity replied, looking down at her hoof. "Besides, we've never talked about it."
Twilight looked away. "Because there's nothing more to do or say about it, Rarity."
Rarity glanced at Twilight, smiling. "Darling, I wouldn't bring this up now if that were the case." Before Twilight could reply to that, Rarity turned back to the garden and continued: "I often tried to put myself in your place, at first; tried to understand why you did it."
Tears started stinging at Twilight's eyes. She looked down at the floor, gritting her teeth. “I did what I did because I loved you,” she finally said, hating how cliché it sounded. “I thought it was for the best. I didn't want you to give up your dreams because of me."
"That's what made it worse." Rarity let out a soft, almost bitter laugh. "The idea that you thought so little of yourself that it was unthinkable for you that maybe you yourself were part of my dream."
Twilight looked up, gulping hard. "I… what?"
Rarity took a deep breath and let it out with a long sigh. "Make no mistake, Twilight. I always dreamed of getting to the place where I am now; becoming a top fashion designer never stopped being my desire. But when you came into the picture, you changed my dream. Though I never intended on giving up my goal of becoming a Canterlot designer, your presence turned the journey into something so blissfully enjoyable, that suddenly reaching the destination wasn't top priority anymore."
"Rarity… I..." Twilight looked down again, teardrops falling on the ground. "You… You were my dream, too… which is why I did what I did."
Rarity closed her eyes. "I was your dream?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
"Rarity?"
The two mares turned around and found a stallion at the entrance of the door. Twilight recognized him as one of the stallions that Rarity had been dating on and off again.
"You coming in for a dance?" he asked, grinning at her and making Twilight's heart squeeze in her chest.
Rarity smiled back. "Perhaps… or perhaps not! It seems you'll have to go back inside, then wait and see if I come back in, darling."
The stallion shook his head a little, smirking. "If you say so, Rarity," he replied, turning around and heading back into the party.
Once he was gone, Rarity turned back to look towards the garden. "He's madly in love with me. I think he even wants to marry me and swoop me off to live in his mansion. Imagine that."
Twilight gulped down hard and forced herself to look at the garden as she asked: "And you love him back?"
"No," Rarity replied softly. "Though, I could grow to love him. If I go back inside and dance with him, I could fall for him."
"Do you want to dance with him?"
There was a painfully eternal silence until Rarity finally spoke up. "I'm not sure. I might still be in love with somepony else."
Twilight turned to look at the unicorn, heart beating thunderously in her chest. "You… you might?"
Rarity smiled. "I am untouchable now, Twilight, and the only thing left is to finally make all my dreams come true. Now, whether I go inside and fall in love with somepony else rests entirely on your answer to a question. You said I used to be your dream. So, tell me..." She finally turned to look at Twilight, smiling gently.
"Have you given up on your dream?"
FIN