The Heart Break Kid

by Heart Break

First published

Love, Romance, Heart Break...one out of three ain't bad.

Heart Break has always been one of those Stallions, good looks, good family, minor talent, a true gentlecolt in every sense of the word. This image is ruined by his inability to do anything right when it comes to mares. Therapy, self help books, he has tried it all, and yet always seems to be left sore, and broken hearted, no matter who it might be he falls for. Will our hero find true love? Will he finally overcome his fate to be alone forever? Probably not, but lets see what hilarity happens anyway.

The Heart Break Kid Cometh

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"I'm sorry Heart Break, I can't be with you, I like that colt over there" the sweet young Earth filly looked at him with an awkward smile, glancing around before pointing somewhere in the vicinity behind him, and running off to go join her friends once he had turned his back.

Heart Break fell on his rump and looked up at the bright blue sky as if looking for some comfort "Well, at least this day cannot get any worse" he muttered to himself before the bright sky turned black, and fast encroaching storm clouds filled the sky from horizon to horizon. Heart Break gave the sky a dead pan stare "Touche..." he said with a miserable tone as he sat alone in the playground, everyone else already in the warm cover of the school as heavy droplets of rain began to soak his fur.

It was now, after all that, that he was distracted by the bright light on his flank "By Celestia! My cutie mark, my cut--"

Dinga linga ling The sound of his alarm clock woke Heart Break from his dream, or nightmare depending on whose perspective you took, and with dreary eyes he lifted his head. The grey unicorn removed his blanket to look on his right flank, seeing the broken hearted cutie mark plastered against him, he looked at it more like a scar unable to heal then a mark of his special talent.

"Great dream there boyo, good start to the day" He sighed to himself before willing his body to move but stopped half way. Under his blanket, he felt something, soft..warm, something breathing next to where he had been laying all night. He was in sweats, had he done it? He didn't remember last night at all, apart from drinking lots of cider at one of his friends parties.

In excitement he pulled back the sheets slowly, taking a peek at what it could be "Please be a mare, please be a mare.." he mumbled quietly to himself. Brown fur..His excitement sky rocketed as he couldn't take it any more, and ripped the cover from the sleeping...

Dog.

The excitement slumped right back down as he gazed at his Trottingham Bulldog, laying there fast asleep blissfully unaware of just how much disappointment he had caused Heart Break to go through. "Damn it Wembley!" he yelled causing the dog to wake, look at him, and fart loudly, resulting in the young stallion wretching and fall from the bed with a dramatic thud, "What crawled up you and died?". He was replied with a loud bark, before Wembley huffed and rolled back over and began snoring.

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Downstairs, Mr and Mrs Break, sat down at the table listening to there son yell at his own dog and then fall from his bed. "Could you pass me the marmalade please dear" Mr Break asked his wife, looking over the top of his newspaper, pipe in the corner of his mouth. "Its always do this, do that with you isn't it!" His wife shouted in reply, as she waved a butter knife at her husband, her pink and green apron covered in pancake mix. With a seemingly blissful ignorance of his own wife threatening him with cutlery Mr Break returned to his newspaper "Just set it down when your done yelling dear"

Heart Break eventually came down the stairs, trying to sneak out the house without his parents seeing him. Wembley, draped over Heart Break's back was snoozing until the last step, before like some miracle of fate bolted his eyes open and barked loudly, giving the pair away and immediately grabbing the attention of Heart Break's mother, "And where do you think your going?!" she screeched at him, she could wail like a banshee when she needed to, "Making your mother wait up for you all night, worrying about you doing Celestia knows what, and then not even saying Good Morning" she burst into a fit of crying, that forced his father to set his new paper down and comfort his wife, giving Heart Break a look of 'See what you have done now...'.

Heart Break looked at the floor scratching the back of his head with his hoof, and saying lowly "I'm sorry mother..I didn't mean to make you worry..I was just at a party with some friends, and well it got out of hand with the cider drinking..I'm really sorry again" His words falling on seemingly deaf ears, he left his parents feeling nothing but an aura of disappointment focused in his direction, and took his leave, stepping into a glorious sunny day in Trottingham.

It was a rare thing for it to be this sunny in Trottingham, usually the weather was grey and miserable all year round, but after the morning of disappointment it was a welcome sight. "Hmmm..perhaps today won't be so bad after all" she muttered to himself, as an ominous crack of thunder sounded in the distance.

Heart Break spent many hours, mulling about the town visiting the shops and perusing the items that were being sold within them. He had no bits on him but there were several items that he made a mental note of to pick up when he did, at the top of the list was the newest of self help books by his favourite author Self Help, titled 'Five steps to success: Bachelor to Marekiller' a title that first shocked him, before a quick glancing read confirmed his suspicions it was not a book about how to murder mares.

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"What do you mean your kicking me out?!" He had only been home a few minutes before his parents had sat him down to tell him the 'good news'. "Well we had a lengthy discussion once you left this morning and believe it would be best to help you with your problem" his father answered after a few puffs of his pipe, "Oh yes, and who knows you might finally meet that mare of your dreams" his mother added excitedly.

Heart Breaks jaw was almost on the floor he was so shocked, kicked out by his own parents. Where would he go? What would he do?