My past

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Defying Fate
The crazy pink party pony waved goodbye to Pumpkin Cake as the mare left with her husband Cream Puff in their wagon to deliver a cake order. “Granny” Pinkie Pie was responsible for their Pegasus daughter Cinnamon Swirl. Pinkie was briefly reminded of the times she had to babysit Pumpkin instead. So much had passed since then; Pumpkin became a cutie mark crusader and with the help of Applebloom who ran it every night back then, she got her cutie mark in a snap. More images of Pumpkin and Pound Cake ran through her mind, them being potty trained, finishing school, getting married and the very tragic one of their dearest mother passing away. A tear stained Pinkies coat, followed by many more. Mrs Cake was a second mother to her, she had helped her so much, given her a home, a job and a family. Mr Cake soon followed. Pinkie was heartbroken by then as were the twins. Pinkie recalled the state of depression she fell into, she didn’t even attend his funeral.

Pinkie’s mind then shifted to her best friends. Fluttershy, Applejack and herself were the only ponies in the group to remain in Ponyville. Twilight became a teacher at Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns as well as the princess of magic and friendship, Pinkie saw her occasionally but it wasn’t the same. Pinkie no longer bounced or used trampolines or flew in her now broken helicopter. Her bones were so stiff and she was so tired. Pinkie hadn’t made many ponies laugh lately. Rainbow Dash was suffering the same problem, only with her flying. Rainbow Dash was now the Wonderbolt’s trainer, watching determined flyers with youth plastered on their faces in looks of joy, competitiveness and passion. Like how she used to be…

Last time Pinkie had seen Dashie was a year ago. Her formally bright, colourful mane was dulled and her wings were in bandages. Her doctor had told her not to push herself as hard as she was. She was old and slowing down, just like Pinkie. They sat together and talked in the exact spot where the entire group used to have picnics together. It was there Twilight had gone crazy over a simple friendship report and they were invited to the royal wedding.
Rainbow was nice enough to Pinkie but it was just small talk. Nopony smiled beyond politeness and a laugh was an alien concept. So much had changed, including Rainbow. Pinkie missed the days when Rainbow’s eyes would light up at the mere mention of flight. That day she just bit her lip and turned away, something broken inside. Rainbow Dash had dedicated her whole life to flight, she had no family now. She had achieved her dream yet missed the blissful reality she had left behind, one that was gone forever.

Fluttershy, after her friends had split apart had slowly become more introverted. She once again spent all her time in her cottage with her animal friends, only leaving on urgent matters. Discord has left her, his chaotic being not permanently tamed by her kindness. They had one child together but Discord took Screwball to teach her draqonneqqus magic. Fluttershy hadn’t seen them in years. It was clear she missed them both terribly.
Pinkie saw her once a week. This time had started to be spent silently, each having nothing to say. Fluttershy’s age was catching up to her more rapidly than anyone else could imagine. Pegasi had the shortest life span out of all the pony types but Fluttershy was just so fragile. Pinkie noticed how frail she looked last visit. She found it hard to understand why this had to happen, why death exists. It wasn’t fair.

Rarity had passed away 2 years ago. She had cancer in her lungs; the battle she had was long and hard but eventually it was time, time to give up. She stopped taking her medicine and on her last night the entire group visited her. It was the last time they were all together, laughing and making jokes like they used to. Rarity had lived a fulfilled life. She had eventually moved to Canterlot and set up a new boutique that turned her into a famous fashion designer. She always designed free costumes for her sister as she toured Equestria as a pop star. Her husband and child miss her dearly.

Pinkie, when she attended the funeral, sat apart from Twilight and Applejack. They were the only three of the group to attend. Princess Twilight Sparkle's eyes were wet but she held her head up, too high actually. She had told Pinkie that it was good Rarity died, to end her suffering. Pinkie never forgave her. Applejack basically said the same thing but in a country colloquial term that only an apple would understand.

So when she stood up to say her part she spoke of how precious life was and often only a child could understand that or someone who knew how great friends and laughter is. She glared straight at her former friends during the whole time with eyes wet with the kind of tears that could stain a soul like ink stains one of her deceased friend's dresses. She spoke of when she and Rarity showed Fluttershy how to haggle, using the elements, her obsessions with the spa and her fainting couch. Then she sat down in the middle of the room crying and rocking like a child in front of everyone. Twilight and Applejack tried to comfort her.

Twilight with her unaged face, and Applejack with folding bags above her eyes. Pinkie didn't know which was worse. It only made her sob more. Everything was falling apart.
"Pinkie, it's okay" Twilight soothed
It wasn't okay, Pinkie knew it would never be okay.

Back in the present, Pinkie Pie sat with Cinnamon letting the infant’s youth drag her into her own despair. Pinkie had realised she was afraid of death. She wanted everything to be back the way it was… and she knew how. Actually, she didn't know exactly but she was determined to. She just wanted the wonderful dream of youth and friendship back. She bit at an apple as a rash and rather crazy plan formulated in her mind.

Plans forming

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“It’s impossible, Pinkie” Twilight sighed. Pinkie glared at her former friend, her name was Pinkamena to Twilight now. As an alicorn, Twilight had agreed to immortality. HER face was as fresh as a daisy. She didn’t understand the depressing thing the grip of old age is. So of course she wouldn’t help Pinkie.
“Why not, Princess?” Pinkie reminded her of the time she utilised all the resources of Ponyville to prevent a threat that didn’t exist. She wouldn’t allow Twilight Sparkle to stop her from being reunited with her true friends. Her friends who would drop everything to help each other, not the empty souls they have now become.
“Pinkie” Twilight attempted to calm her friend down, who had begun to hyperventilate and rock back and forth. Twilight considered bringing her to therapy, she was obviously not in her right mind but she had tried that before. Nopony can comprehend Pinkie Pie, even after so many years. Twilight had heard that they had turned Pinkie into a specific sub science, they would be no help.
“Pinkie, please accept this. The past is gone, going back so far would create such a paradox that the entire fabric of the universe could be torn. Just be content with the lives we have all had.” Twilight was seriously worried by this point, Pinkie’s eyes seemed glazed over with the false hope her old mind had created. She lay her head of the café table, muttering various ideas and theory’s that could possibly achieve her hopeless quest. “Grandfather theory…..bubblegum…alternate…”
Pinkie perked her head up, her hair was poofy but dull. “An alternate universe!” Pinkie exclaimed, jumping up and getting the attention of the rest of the café. She blushed and sat down but her smile still pushed back the wrinkles that were everpresent. She had found a solution and she had to grin.
“No Pinkie” That was all that was need for Pinkie’s hair to deflate and her eyes to lose sparkle. “In theory there is a younger version of us somewhere but we have no access and they would have their own Pinkie. As long as you are living in your mortal body, you will age and miss the old days but you need to leave it behind.”
“Hakuna Matata” Pinkie muttered sadly. “Thank you Twilight for trying to help but I guess I need to forget. Oh, and it’s Pinkamena.”
Twilight watched as Pinkie left, walking not bouncing like she used to. She felt sympathetic; to Pinkie it must seem as if she is exempt from the curse of old age. That was true in a way but it was also worse. Twilight would live for thousands of years before meeting her friends in the afterlife, if there was an afterlife. Any new ponies she would meet simply bow and if she got close to them they would only wither away.
At least she got to see Pinkie once more. The last time was at Rarity’s funeral, she was so broken by their admittedly heartless comments that she spoke not to Applejack or Twilight for years. She was glad their friendship wouldn’t be eternally scarred by a petty grudge.
The sun rose quickly then stabilised, all the time covered by a certain magical aura. Simultaneously, a certain pink party pony exited the gingerbread house. Twilight had given her an idea.
Everypony was out and about, heading to the markets or their respective jobs. A few stopped Pinkie on her way to catch up but many of the citizens of Ponyville had fresh faces, untainted by any familiarity that previously scarred everypony here in Pinkie’s mind. She was a former party pony and consequently knew everypony in Ponyville, or she used to. Joy seeped from her bones when she could no longer perform her destiny.
There was no magic spell to fix it this time, no spontaneous musical number. Pinkie knew she had reached the end of her ability to fulfil her special talent and there was no reason to provide false hope. Her mane was flat almost always now and she doubted she could even use her party cannon anymore.
It was okay though, everypony was still happy. Her position was quickly filled by the very ponies the parties were for and eventually Surprise, the young filly granddaughter of Cheese Sandwich. She did a very good job and replaced Pinkie perfectly aside from saving the world.
This only served to show that Pinkie wasn’t all that unique, perhaps nopony is truly unique. Society survived before them and after them. Only a select few are even remembered before fading into myth and legend. So was Pinkie ever really needed? They never truly needed her to make parties and she was sure that there were other potential bearers of her element.
Many wouldn’t care if she died but by saying that, they probably wouldn’t protest by her living. She didn’t care that her place was taken. If it all went to plan, she would have her place again and nopony would ever know, not even her. She would be with those she cared about once more.
She entered the familiar building that was the library tree, the place that held so many memories that Pinkie was trying to protect and give life.
“Can I help you?” A young pony asked. Her name was Calm Quill, the new librarian. She was one of the few librarians Pinkie had actually known the name of. None of them seemed to last very long anyway. Ponyville librarians had the working life of a fruit fly, nopony ever figured out why.
“Yes! I’m looking for a book.”
She snorted “You’ll have to be more specific”
“About body switching spells” Pinkie said cautiously, unsure if they had restrictions on such things.
“Uh huh… Spike!” The forever miniature dragon showed up. He had come back to be a library assistant a while ago. Pinkie wondered what Twilight did to him to ever make him leave her as she flipped open the first book, a triumphant smile on her face.