Red Apples.
Hello to each and every one of you. My name is Redheart. Well, really, that's not my full name. It really doesn't even reflect my profession; which is a very big part of my life. I'm a nurse, you see. So, normally, people call me Nurse Redheart. But I skipped those details because -well- you probably wouldn't be all that interested in all of that. Right? I mean, you have your own exciting lives with exciting names and hobbies! We should talk more about you instead of me. I mean, I'm me! And you're you! There's -uh- a lot more to you than me. Am I right? Heh-heh-heh-heh-ehhh...
...Sorry. My therapist said I should really start talking more highly of myself. You can see how well I'm doing at that, right? Heh-heh-heh-ehhh... Hm? Why do I have a therapist? Well it's not because I'm crazy. It's because... Well... It's because of a lot of a lot of things that built up over time. My social life, my sex life, my personal life, my crippling fear of blood, the fact I work at a hospital, my blood pressure, my anxiety, my self destructive personality... But -uh- what else is new, am I right? Heh-heh-heh-heh-ehhh...
I for one didn't want to see a therapist; I can solve my own problems like a strong, confident woman should... After -you know- I expand on the strong part... and the confident part... and maybe the woman part... B-but my point stands! I said I didn't need to see a therapist at all. But... Vinyl insisted. And -if you know Vinyl- when she insists, you find it hard to get out of the way she's pulling. I guess if I didn't have her as a friend, I would probably not be as far into life as I am now...
I know what you're thinking: "Vinyl Scratch? That DJ who's always partying? Why is she friends with a sad sack life her?". First, words hurt sir or ma'am... Second, it was a strange set of circumstances that put us together. You see, we're not just friends... We're best friends. Friends to the end as she'd say. Through thick and thin. Of course, when she picked me to be her best friend I didn't have a say in it. But, I guess that's fine... Truth be told I wasn't very good at making friends in the first place.
You see, when she and I were in elementary school, I spent most of my time out of class as the nurse's aide. Even when I was small, I dreamed of being a doctor someday... I just assumed the more time you spent by a 'doctory' person, the more likely you'd become a doctor. A-Anyway, the nurse never let me help her with anything too extreme like splinting injuries, giving shots, things like that; but she did give me the duty of going around school and hand out juice boxes to keep other students hydrated on really hot days.
It just so happened that on that one special day, I spotted Vinyl eating a tray of crackers. You know the kind. The ones that are really salty and that teens these days use to have these "salty challenges"? Anyway... She was eating those right before recess. I was a little worried that she'd dehydrate herself with so many crackers, so I walked up to her with a juice box.
"Excuse me. It's a really, really hot day out today. Eating that much salt will dry you out. Have a juice box so you don't pass out."
But she refused. She told me she'd be fine since she doesn't run around at recess; then she went right back to wolfing down crackers... Now... I... I don't know why I did it... Maybe I was just being worrisome for the safety of another student... But... When she wasn't looking, I slipped one of my juice boxes into her backpack before she went out for recess. It was that little choice that changed the course of my life forever...
What happened at recess I won't ever fully understand... But somehow, Vinyl started choking on a nickle? D-Don't ask me how or why she had a nickle in her throat; the point is, she was choking off by the sandbox she usually spent recess kicking. I guess maybe the sandbox kicked back that day. Heh-heh-heh-heh-ehhh... It's not funny, she could have died; I'm the worst... A-Anyway, no one was around to help her. But... When she reached into her backpack to try and find something to wave someone down with, she found my juice box. She used that to wash down the nickle and effectively save her life... I don't think the nickle would have killed her, honestly; but Vinyl sure thought it would.
She swore to me that day that we'd be best friends for life... It's been about twenty years since that day. I've gone to medical school, I moved away from town for nearly seven years, and a lot of people forgot me... But Vinyl never did. She waited for me at the bus stop when I came home, she wrote me every month and called me every weekend. I changed as the years rolled on by... But Vinyl never forgot what I 'did for her', and never let go of that promise she made. And... I'm glad she didn't. Heh.
At times it's really nice to have an abrasive friend willing to force you to go to therapy. And a friend that doesn't judge you for the amount of cats you keep in your apartment... ten. Mumbles, Britannia, Bangle, Nikki, Kit-Kat, S'more, Pants (Vinyl named that one), Bluebell, Galahad, and Mittens. Each of them are my little bundles of joy who I love soooooooo much!... A-Anyway...
Also... I guess it's rather nice to have a friend that doesn't want me to be so alone... But it isn't very nice to have a friend that puts your name up on dating websites without your permission! It's frustrating at times, actually. I mean... I would like someone to share my life with... B-But Vinyl is far too brazen about filling out that order! Here; I saved her latest -that I know of- dating application she put up for me on a site called "www.fishinthesea,com".
"Naughty female nurse looking for 10ccs of a strong hunk of man to give me plenty of TLC (Tongue, love, and cunnilingus) in return for them putting their thermometer wherever they want. Must love cats, strawberry ice cream, chick flicks, more cats, and cunnilingus. The cunnilingus is non-negotiable. I am a fine, fit young woman fresh out of med-school with pink hair and a firm butt. Interested? Send me a message."
It's... It's indecent! I mean, it's just so... Vinyl. That's the word for it. It's just so Vinyl. It's just crass, indecent, humiliating, and she even posted it in the newspapers for two weeks straight! I couldn't bare to go to work with-with-with...! UGH! Vinyl! She just makes my skin crawl sometimes. With a friend like her...! With a friend like her... With a... Friend like her... With a friend like her you just never feel like something could be all that bad. She's really a sweet, wonderful girl who has done nothing but bring some light into my world. G-Granted that light is sometimes very bright and hot to the point I need to crawl under a couch and stay there for a few days; b-but it's still a nice gesture. Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-ehhhhh...
So, um, yeah... That's my life all wrapped up with a pretty, self-deprecating, crazy-cat-lady, nearly-friendless bow. I see a therapist, I live alone with a wonderful litter of beautiful kitties, and the most sexually exciting thing that happens in my house is when "Sunset: Breaking Dusk" comes on. Ohhh Edwin... B-but that doesn't mean my apartment isn't exciting! Heh. I mean, sometimes I-I-I stack the Asian takeout boxes into little forts for my cats! OH! I also happen to be the world champion at toothpick sculptures... I mean... I might be... I never checked... If I did, I might find out I'm actually terrible at it and I might quit... B-But! I've still been able to make perfect models of almost all of town. Right now, I am working on Canterlot castle! I'm so excited for it to be done so I can show Vinyl! She'll...! Probably be as interested as before...
On the thought of Vinyl, I wonder where she is tonight? Usually she'd be lounging on my sofa watching my over five-thousand channels... What? Is it surprising that I working nurse with no boyfriend and living in a cramped apartment would splurge on a curved plasma screen TV and satellite networking? Because it's surprising to me! Vinyl made me! But... The cats love watching Animal Planet on it, so I don't really complain about it... Anyway, normally she'd be here on a Friday night. Her girlfriend Octavia works a third shift on Fridays, and Vinyl hates sitting at her place all alone. A-And she knows I don't really mind the company... Heh.
But, she's nowhere. I mean, she's somewhere. Everyone's somewhere. Even a dead body is in a morgue or in a grave. Wait, do you think she's in a morgue or a grave?! Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no! What if she's--Calm... Calm... Peace, Redheart. Peace. Fluffy bunnies in a sweet meadow. Fluffy bunnies in a sweet meadow... Aaaaand I'm back. I'm sure she's absolutely fine. She's not me, she can handle herself. Heh-heh-heh-ehhh... Ohhhh...
Where's Mumbles...? I need a hug now...
Hot pizza, hot pizza, hot pizza, hot pizza~~... Love that song! I know Tavi and Red both said it's heartbeats, but come on! They're totally saying hot pizza! And why shouldn't they? Who doesn't like hot pizzas? Wang-heads, that's who. Those two just need to get their ears checked. Hot pizza... Mmmmm... Note to brain-self: pick up a pizza after throwing Red out of her apartment. After the shabaz I went through tonight getting everything set, I deserve a hot slice of cheese and sauce. I'm so f-ing smart; I'm like one of them artificial intelligences!
For years -YEARS- I've had to watch my Red be all blue over not getting a date that just clicked. But now! NOW, I have an answer to the problem. It's way easy! As ease as Tavi is when you nibble behind her--Uhhh... It's easy, 'nuff said. Got the pieces in motion, Red's not suspecting a thing, and I'm a genius. Plow that all together, and you've got one hot mix. I owe Red a good effort; she's my homie. Always has been.
You know that saint-send saved my sorry ass? I was DEAD! No one was there to pull me back, but she gave me a hook-shot back to life. Because of her, I can still do what I love. She literally gave air to my lungs that day. And Vinyl always pays her debts tenfold. Whether someone wants me to or not. It's how mama and daddy raised me; never leave a job undone. And Red is a job... a job I've finally finished!
Oh-ho-ho yes. This will be sweet... Hm? GAH! Shake a tail feather, Vinyl! The plans already moving on without you! Hup-hup! Off to Red's house we go~~.
"One more, Mumbles... One more..." The young nurse, dressed up in her 'jammies' and purring kittens pressed against her kneeling form, slowly applied one toothpick after the other into the self-made model of a near flawless castle.
Redheart's fingers quivered in anticipation around the lone toothpick she had clamped between her thumb and slender index finger as she moved to place it into the developing tower. Her tongue ran against her dry lips once before she nervously bit into her bottom lip, knowing that one misstep so far into her project, the whole of Canterlot could fall into chaos. Absolute quiet... Absolute focus... This moment, was defining in her craft. Every inch she made closer to fitting the next pick into the tower was that much closer to completion, and destruction. "Almost... There..." Redheart murmured to her nearly silent audience.
Wind! Crash! Slam! Bam! Canterlot tumbled to the ground from tip to base and the feline beasts that watched its construction scattered at the loud noise that filled the small apartment. Redheart sat there, toothpick still in hand and face now filled with shocked distraught and an unhinged chuckle past through her lips. The only company to follow after Canterlot's scale model falling apart before the nurse was that of Vinyl shouting a greeting after slamming Redheart's front door wide open. "Well, hey Red! I didn't come in on anything important, right?" Not waiting for an answer, Vinyl skipped into the abode and allowed the door to shut behind her.
Redheart was still petrified by all of Canterlot crumbling, as if a hurricane had whipped through the countryside, decimating all in its wake. Even when she saw Vinyl standing next to the couch from the corner of her eye, Redheart still reflected on the loss of 'life' just suffered. "Oh... Damn..." Vinyl hissed at her voice when she took in the calamity crumbled before her friend, "That was Canterlot, wasn't it?"
"Uh-huh..." Redheart's voice cracked, hand still holding that last toothpick ready to be placed where the tower used to be.
"Fffff... Sorry, Red. I could--" Vinyl quickly flicked her left hand out towards Red, only for the young nurse to take hold of Vinyl's wrist with her free hand.
Slowly, Redheart rose and expelled her stressful air from her body before smiling kindly at Vinyl with a small cock of her head. "It's fine, Vinyl. I'll just... Do it again," Redheart let out her usual 'heh-heh-heh-ehhh' with a shoulder sink, the same action she did everyday when she was trying not to get down on herself.
Vinyl swatted at the back of her own head before seizing both her hands around Redheart's offered hand. Red looked surprised, turning red at her cheeks when Vinyl leaned in to look her right in the eyes. It was at that point that Redheart noted that Vinyl was not wearing her usual shades. Surely, something was in the air. And knowing Vinyl, it was something that was going to stay in the air all night. "Red. Listen up..." Oh no. "You can build Canterlot, Panterlot, Fuckerlot later. Tonight, we're changing your life forever."
"V-Vinyl, I'm on my pajamas..." Redheart looked down at her own white footy-pajamas with little red crosses in patterns across it.
"That you are! So you'll have to get changed into your finest whatevers. Why?" I didn't ask why. "Because I set you up on a date."
A blind date. Oh no. N-No, no, no, no! Redheart desperately tried to tug her hand out from Vinyl's grasp, but with a lack of upper body strength, Redheart only kept stringing back to Vinyl at each of her tugs. "That's so... You, of you to do, Vinyl. B-B-But I'm already ready for bed. I was just going to finish my model before I tucked in."
Even as Redheart fought her, Vinyl slowly started to tug the nurse along towards the front door of the apartment. "That's why I told you to get changed. The night's young, you'll have a great date!"
She looked around the apartment as fast as she could, looking for some sort of lever she could use to pry Vinyl's hands off of her wrist. "And what about my cats? I usually set out a meal for them when I plan for a date." Grabbing a plastic fork from the counter as she was pulled past it, Redheart wedged the makeshift lever between her wrist and Vinyl's hand, only for the plastic to snap right after her first attempt at breaking the grip.
"I'll stay here and feed 'em. And watching your TV. Your welcome." Finally, Vinyl pulled Redheart to the welcome mat of her apartment and grabbed at the knob of the door, ready to open it.
"B-B-B-But--"
Vinyl spun around slamming her hand hard onto Redheart's shoulder, nearly knocking her down onto her butt. Both of Vinyl's hands were finally off Red's wrist, but now she was being held at the shoulder to prevent her escape. "Red... This is good for you. Come on... Please? I put a lot of effort into this one," Vinyl's tone became surprisingly pleading, something Redheart never heard from her friend, "Just go out tonight. If you have a bum time, you have a bum time. But I SWEAR you'll have a great time. Please?"
Redheart paused, truly chewing over her friend's words. She did seem very fixated on doing this for her. And if she did go through so much trouble, she could at least meet the person. "...But--"
"Oh for God sake...!" Vinyl rolled her eyes with a new smirk on her face suddenly broken free from the pleading look she had just a moment ago.
Without warning, the front door of the apartment was swung wide open, greeting Vinyl and Redheart alike to the outside world. To some surprise, someone was standing in wait just outside in the hallway in front of Redheart's apartment. Before registering who Vinyl had blindly set her up with, Redheart burned a deep shade in her cheeks and swatted Vinyl in the chest. "You didn't let me get changed ye--..." Pause. Redheart's lips were parted, ready to keep on scolding Vinyl... But not a word came out.
Instead of keeping on with yelling at Vinyl, Redheart's voice fell quiet, dry, and demure when she regarded the woman standing outside of her door. She was fine dressed in a long black dress that hugged to her fit curves and allowed for her blonde hair to really show against the dark contrast. Slowly, Redheart finally muttered out a single, lone word. "H-hey..."
The farm-girl-dressed-fancy curled out a sweet, honest smile as she narrowed her eyes to really look at the girl on the other side of the doorway. "Hey yer'self... Nice jammies."