Prologue: Periplanetae- The Watcher On The Wall
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(Entomology/ Honey I Shrunk the Foals)
Written By: Your Antagonist
Prologue: Periplaneta- The Watcher On The Wall
Periplaneta equestriana, or as it is better known: the common equestrian cockroach, is arguably the most fascinating of the modern Equestrian insects. Widely regarded as a disgusting housepest by most, this ancient and unfortunately-reputationed creature is quite possibly one of the most physically perfect lifeforms to have ever strode across a living room wall.
In addition to its outstanding running speed of three miles per hour—which is rather fast considering the creature’s size—the roach can hold its breath underwater for upwards of forty minutes at a time and even possesses wings that allow it to fly short distances, though it seldom makes use of them. In addition to its physical prowess, the roach can go weeks without food and can even survive for a small while without its head. But perhaps its most outstanding trait is its uncanny and unintentional ability to—
“Kyaaa! Ohmigosh, ohmigosh, ohmigosh! What is that thing?! Keep it away! Silver Spoon, make it go away!”
—frighten the sugary sweetness out of young girls with its mere existence.
The roach in question, which had up until this very moment spent the better part of its afternoon peacefully clinging to a barn wall, watched as the pink four-legged giant it had been observing went completely spastic and began shrieking in terror. As the roach couldn’t comprehend speech, barely registering the sounds as little more than vibrations in the air, it merely watched the source of the racket in amusement, occasionally stopping to clean an antenna out of habit.
“Land’s sake, Diamond Tiara, what’re you hollerin’ about now?” called a yellow and red creature of a similar build.
“Th-That!” the pink giant pointed one of its appendages at the roach.
The roach watched as an orange and violet beast recklessly strode forth. “I think it’s a cockroach.” The newcomer remarked as it focused its remarkably huge violet eyes on the roach. For the roach, the urge to run was overwhelming. After all, if there was one thing he and his hundreds upon thousands of siblings had inherited from their birth mother—aside from genetic blueprints and good looks—, it was the ability to recognize and escape from a troublesome situation rapidly and efficiently. All he needed was an opening…
A fourth giant, white in color with a shimmering green horn poking out of the pink and purple bush on its head, stepped forward. It curiously craned its neck at the roach before burying its nose into a book enveloped in a soft green glow. “Yup, that’s definitely a cockroach. A big one too. The book says they usually only grow up to an inch long, but that one must be at least three!” The white one’s voice cracked, sending an amusing fluctuation through the vibrations in the air. The roach listened on.
“Good find, Diamond Tiara,” said the yellow one that the roach had decided was the alpha of the group based on the massive pink ornament on its head.
“Tch, whatever, just put that gross thing in a jar already,” spat the pink beta.
“Here’s a better idea: you can do it since you’re the one who found it.”
“And who are you to tell me what to do, blank-flank?”
Dissent in the ranks, the roach observed. The moment of escape would reveal itself soon enough.
“The group project leader, accordin’ to Ms. Cheerilee,” The yellow alpha rebutted.
The pink one made a rolling gesture with its eyes. “And that means… what exactly?”
“It means you gotta listen when I tell you to do something!”
“Pfft, right.”
The roach observed a gray behemoth clad in blue garments strolling up to join the rest of its ilk. “You know she’s never going to touch that bug, right?” It said to the alpha.
“Oh, don’t worry about that, Silver Spoon. She’ll pick it up…” A scheming glint shone in the alpha’s auburn eyes, “…if she wants any credit for this homework assignment that is.”
Pink’s ears twitched at the snide remark. “Excuse me?”
“I reckon you heard what I said.”
“But I—”
“‘But’ nothin’. We all agreed to catch at least one bug each and so far me and Sweetie Belle caught three, Scoots caught six, and even Silver Spoon picked up two. The least you could do is put one measly little roach in a jar.”
The pink one looked at the roach, grimaced and turned back to the rest of its swarm. “Couldn’t I just, y’know, write the report?”
The roach paused. It was picking up some rather strange interference through its rear-bound cerci, like a string of sequential rapping and tapping, which persisted for only a moment longer before going silent, allowing the roach to return to the soap opera before it.
“—let you write the report? Ha!” The wild orange one laughed right in the pink filly’s face, deepening her scowl and complexion. “Your English grades are almost as bad as mine! You’re better off just putting the roach in the jar.”
The pink one turned on its orange counterpart, its posture exuding deliberate hostility. “Listen here, blank flank: I will not touch that disgusting thing.”
“Then we will not let you put your name on the finished project.” The alpha stated.
“You can’t do that!”
“Wanna bet?” The alpha challenged. For a moment there was silence as the pink one measured up its leader’s gumption.
“Rules are rules, Diamond Tiara,” The white giant cut in softly, “and we all agreed that we’d—”
“I didn’t agree to anything!”
The gray one stepped in and rested a tree trunk of a leg on the pink one’s shoulder. “Diamond, I know you’re, like, deathly afraid of bugs, but it doesn’t look like they’re going to let this go. I think you’d better just pick up the bug.”
“But… but Silver Spoon!” Pouted Pink.
Gray cast a sympathetic look at Pink, turned to the rest of its pack and finally sighed, shaking its head. “Look, I’ll go find some tongs or something to help you catch that roach without actually touching it, okay?”
“But I—”
“I’ll be right back,” Gray said to Pink before stepping off and away, on a mission of its own. Another bout of silence followed, the only sound the roach could register being the giant’s hoofsteps as it stomped its way out of the barn. Well, that and the rapid tapping again, somehow louder this time. The roach paused and focused on its cerci again, trying to discern the source of the tapping, but it had once again gone dead. The roach didn’t dwell on the thought as the regularly scheduled bickering continued.
“Chicken,” Orange spat snidely at Pink.
Pink’s face turned as red as the hair on the alpha’s head. “Oh, shut up, you—”
“‘Blank flank’?” Orange finished, to Pink’s annoyance. “Yeah, heard it before, scaredy-pony.”
“Tch, whatever, loser.” Pink snobbishly turned its nose up at Orange, cheeks still aflare.
“I mean who’s afraid of a few little-bitty bugs?” Orange continued to goad. “I’ve foalsat the Cake twins before and they love to play with bugs! Pumpkin even sucks on them!”
“Okay, first, that’s like, totally gross. And second, they’re like a year old, they don’t know any better, you featherbrain!”
“‘Don’t know any better’? More like a couple of foals have more guts than you do, you… you… jellyfish!”
“That doesn’t even make sense!”
“Yeah it does!”
“How?”
“It means that you’re spineless because you’re an invertebrate!”
“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“You’re the dumbest thing I’ve ever—”
The Alpha stepped abruptly stepped between orange and pink. "Scootaloo, knock it off."
“Oh, come on, Apple Bloom. She makes fun of us all the time, so why can’t we return the favor for once?”
“Because, we’re better than that, Scoots. We don’t have to sink to her level to—”
“Hold the phone,” Pink interjected. “You think you’re better than me, blank flank?”
“That’s not what I said, and—”
“Oh, I heard what you said, you miserable—”
“Enough!” shrieked the shrill voice of White, who until now had been watching from the sidelines. “Stop fighting! This isn’t getting us anywhere!”
“Well, that flightless turkey’s the one who started it!” Pink cried.
“Turkey?” Shouted Orange. “That’s it! I’ve had it up to here with—”
Something spurned the roach to turn away from the squabbling; there was that tapping again, closer than ever this time, unnervingly so. The roach could feel it through the thin wooden wall it had perched on, like a million pins rapping in an unending sequence. It wasn’t alone on the wall. Out of the corner of its eye, the roach could see something slithering and slinking in nearby shadows. It could feel something watching it, sizing it up, and that something exuded an almost predatory aura.
Danger. The roach was in danger. It didn’t have to see its fellow wall crawler to know that it was being watched— nay, that it was being stalked. And it certainly didn’t need to know what was stalking it to make a break for safety. The roach could tell that whatever the thing was, it was big and probably a fast runner to boot, but if all that tapping was coming from the stalker’s feet…
Flick!
…it stood to reason that it lacked the same proficiency in flight. Its wings unsheathed, the roach began to awkwardly flit its wings in rapid succession, something that the stalker had apparently taken note of. The rhythmic rapping and tapping of those little pin feet had become a frantic pitter patter of pin-drops racing towards the roach. The roach didn’t dare look at the source of the sound. Whatever was coming was worse than bad and radiated malice, and the roach was certain it could spend the remainder of its life never knowing what that looked like.
Take off.
The roach was airborne, headed anywhere that was far away from that wooden barn wall. Though its flight pattern was a bit erratic from lack of flight practice, it was almost certain that if it stayed straight, it would have a clear path to the door. From there it would just have to take its chances in the world outside its cozy little barn… or so it thought. Its unversed and unconditioned little wings had begun to falter in their beats, causing the roach to descend right in the middle of the warring giants. To be specific, right into Pink’s path. Fearing the worst, the roach braced for impact as it crashed into Pink’s surprisingly soft forehead, where it held on tightly for dear life.
For a moment, all was well. The roach had found relative safety, put decent distance between itself and the shadow stalker and to top it all off was only a mere sprint away from the door. Though despite the overwhelming number of positives in its favor, something was amiss. Amiss and quite unsettling. Pink had stopped completely, frozen as it were. This wouldn’t have been so alarming had the rest of the feuding giants not frozen as well. Then Pink screamed, shaking the air with such vibrancy that the roach winced, possibly cursing the sensitivity of its cerci.
“Waaaugh! Get it off! Get it off! Get this filthy, disgusting— wahh! just get it off! Daddy! Silver Spoon! Somepony save me!”
“Diamond Tiara!” The alpha hollered, “Just calm down so we can—”
“No! Get! It! Off! Ohmygosh,ohmygosh, it’s going to eat me! Don’t just stand there, save me! Saaaave me!”
“Wahaha!” Orange cackled in delight, “Oh, I wish I had a camera right now, this is gold!”
“Scootaloo, you ain’t helpin’!”
“I know, but I—ahaha— I can’t help it! This is hilarious!”
“Heeeelp!” Pink pleaded betwixt hyperventilated gasps. “I— I— kill it, kill it! Please, I’m begging you! I swear I won’t make fun of you for being blank flanks, just get it away!”
The alpha, seeing no alternative, stepped before Pink, only to find the inconsolable giant to be even more of a handful than she usually was. “Dangit, girl, we can’t help you if you don’t—oomph!” In a flash of fright fueled panic, Pink barreled into the alpha, sprawling the yellow giant to the ground. This only made Orange laugh even harder.
“This—” Orange paused to suck in a breath of much needed air, “This is too much! Ahahaha!”
White stepped in front of the rampaging Pink, and managed to stop its cohort’s advances, if just barely. “Diamond—ngh— Ti…a…ra!” It roared with its amusingly squeaky, shrill voice. “You need to calm down so I can—” The horn on White’s head began to glow a ghastly green. “—pick it off for you!”
“No! Just get it off! I can’t— I can’t go on with a roach on my— I think it’s trying to bite me! Don’t let it lay eggs on me! Don’t let it poison me!”
“Roaches—mmph— aren’t…. poisonous— agh!” In its panic, Pink flailed its mammoth legs at White’s face, kicking white all over, the most decisive blow falling upon White’s glowing horn. The white giant gave a yelp before falling away, clutching its horn in pain.
The roach half-expected the light on White’s head to go out from the blow, but in an odd twist of fate, it only grew brighter and brighter still, its intensity almost blinding. The roach shut its eyes tight as the light became something of a green sun and began to radiate from the giant’s eyes.
Something bad was going to happen, it could just tell. It didn’t know what, but it was definitely worse than the stalker. For now, all the roach could do was cling to its spasming host and hope for the best.
More shrieking and crying from Pink.
Swiftly dying laughter from Orange.
Pained groans from the alpha.
The white one just continued to glow and crackle with that strange glowing light.
There was a blinding eruption of green light that flooded the barn. The roach held tightly to its host and clenched its eyes as a wave of energy pulsed past and forced it away from its host, blowing it farther away from the door.
Moments passed by in silence and blindness before the roach was able to register anything again. Though when it came, it was met with a rather startling discovery…
“Diamond!” Called the familiar vibrations of Gray, as the giant stomped back into the barn. “I found something to help you pick up… that.. roach…” Gray had been rendered speechless by the same sight as the roach and the migraine afflicted, but otherwise untouched, White. An instance that could only be summed up in a simple question, for which there was no simple answer: “Sweetie Belle… where are the others?”
Welcome To The World Below The Grass…
Chapter 1: Chilopoda- Frolic With Freak on Forty Legs
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Entomology/ Honey I Shrunk The Foals
Written By: Your Antagonist
Chapter 1: Chilopoda- Frolic With The Freak On Forty Legs
For what seemed a small eternity, Diamond Tiara’s world was dark and devoid of thought. It was state of being much like sleep, only dreamless and substantially less enjoyable. A more colorful individual would refer to this state as a ‘dirt nap’, but for the time, the term unconsciousness would suffice.
The filly slumbered in the dreamless dark of her mind for only a moment longer before a pulse of thunder hit her ears, stirring her into a hazy state of awareness. Aside from a fierce throbbing in her head and a ringing in her ears, she’d live. But that throbbing— no, it was more like a tapping, on her head as opposed to in if she really thought about, and it was so incessant, bordering on invasive. Turning over and away provided some reprieve from the taps, but like some kind of sadistic alarm clock, the tapping continued a moment later, just as annoying as ever.
“Hey… knock… knock it off…” she moaned, swatting at the source of the disturbance.
The tapping persisted.
“Mmmf...” She swatted again. “I said knock it off...”
The taps continued, undeterred in the slightest.
“Ngh…” With a jaw clenched tight out of frustration, Diamond Tiara pulled herself to a sit, her eyes slowly creeping open so that she could better burn a hole through the source of the irritation with her glare. “Hey, I said cut it out, you dumb… dumb…” As the world around finally came into focus, Diamond Tiara found herself suddenly incapable of speech or coherent thought. She’d been expecting to awaken and find either Silver Spoon or one of those insufferable blank flanks prodding her awake. Instead she found herself gazing into the grotesque, alien features of the largest, most demonic cockroach to ever terrorize the land.
She felt another tap atop her head and realized that it had come from one of the slickened antennae from atop the monster’s head. This whole time, that thing had been… touching her… while she was passed out…
A surge of panic hit her like a freight train.
What if it had bitten her? What if those antennae were spreading poison all over her? What if being touched by those would turn her into a cockroach? What if… what if had lain eggs on her? Or in her? As the string of questions plaguing the stunned filly’s mind took her a turn for the ludicrous, the roach began prodding at her forehead, snapping her back to reality.
“I… I… I… get away!” She cried, snapping her leg out in a powerful kick that connected with the massive stallion-sized roach’s face and sent it scurrying away. Shaking and shuddering from her encounter, Diamond Tiara pulled herself to a stand, keeping her eyes peeled for any other creepy crawlies as she backpedaled in the opposite direction that the six-legged abomination had gone. She’d only managed four steps when she felt her tail brush up against something.
A jolt of alarm shot up her spine. She had no idea what she’d backed into and didn’t particularly care to find out what it was either. In an instant, she chose to make a break for safety, frantically galloping as fast as her short legs would carry her… only she wasn’t moving anywhere. Whatever manner of beast it was, it had a remarkably firm grip on her tail.
“Help! Somepony, help! It’s going to kill me and feed me to its nasty—”
“Hey!” the supposed ‘bug’ called out amidst the filly’s terrified hollering.
“—evil, little—”
“Diamond Tiara it’s—”
“—bug babies!” Diamond Tiara cried, letting her legs fly back in a wild buck at what was hopefully her captor’s face.
“Ouch! She kicked me in the face!”
A direct hit. As the creature released her tail, Diamond Tiara was readying herself to bolt away when the familiar voice of Scootaloo barked out, “Hold on, darnit! It’s us!” Diamond Tiara turned around to find Apple Bloom and scowling faced Scootaloo who was steadily nursing a bruise on her nose. “We heard you screaming and came to help you out!”
“And then you kicked me in the face.” Scootaloo added sourly.
Diamond Tiara’s face flashed a shade of pink before she turned her nose up to hide her embarrassment. “W-Well, you sh-shouldn’t have snuck up on me like that.”
“Apology accepted…” Scootaloo mumbled.
“Anyway, did you see the size of that disgusting, giant bug?”
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo exchanged skeptical glances. “Giant bug?” Apple Bloom asked.
“You didn’t see it? It was huge, way bigger than me!”
Again Apple Bloom and Scootaloo exchanged a confused look. “A bug that was bigger than her?” asked Scootaloo.
“Well that explains a few things,” Apple Bloom said.
Diamond Tiara cocked an eyebrow out of curiosity. “Explains what?”
“Well, for starters, that.” Apple Bloom pointed at something past Diamond Tiara, who turned to see what the farm-filly was talking about. It didn’t take particularly long for her to see what Apple Bloom was driving at, but what she saw rendered her breathless. It was Sweetie Belle and Silver Spoon, only… bigger. Though even that was an understatement. They were like living, equine mountains in comparison.
“They’re huge.” Scootaloo marveled, her jaw dropped even lower than Diamond Tiara’s. “How did they get so big?”
“I don’t think they got any bigger,” said Apple Bloom, “I think we just got a whole lot smaller.”
“Sweetie Belle! We’re down here!” Scootaloo yelled as loud as her lungs would allow her
“What do you mean you don’t know where they went?” Silver Spoon’s shrill voice boomed across the barn.
“Silver Spoon, I already told you, I don’t know what happened!”
“Hey!” Scootaloo shouted.
“You were right here! How could you not—”
“Look, that roach flew onto Diamond Tiara’s face, she went crazy, hit me in the horn and then I lost control of my magic and cast a spell. And that’s… that’s all I remember, okay?”
“Can’t you hear me!?” Scootaloo cried.
“You… you… nnn…” Silver Spoon scratched at her head in frustration. “Do you at least know what kind of spell you cast?”
“I’m sorry, but I don’t.” Sweetie Belle’s ears fell as she apologized.
“All right,” Silver Spoon sighed, “As upset as I am right now, yelling at you isn’t going to help us figure out what happened to them. Can you think of anything, anything about that spell at all that might help us? Maybe you teleported them somewhere?”
Sweetie Belle shook her head. “I don’t think so. According to Twilight you have to have a destination in mind to teleport somepony, but all I was focused on was trying to get that bug off of Diamond’s face.”
“Maybe you turned them invisible?”
“Hey, open up those giant ears! We’re down here!”
“Wouldn’t they have tried talking to us by now?” Sweetie Belle pointed out.
“Good point… ugh! I can’t figure this out!”
“Hey! I said—”
“Save your breath, Scoots. We’re too small, they won’t hear us,” said Apple Bloom.
“What are we going to do then?” Scootaloo asked, “We’ve got to get their attention somehow.”
“If only a certain dodo bird among us could, I don’t know, fly up there, we could resolve this whole mess a lot faster,” Diamond Tiara spat snidely.
“Well, I can’t fly,”Scootaloo snapped.
“Oh, I know you can’t, I was just thinking about how nice it would be if you weren’t useless. That’s all.”
Scootaloo clenched her jaw and stepped up into Diamond Tiara’s face. “And you’re anymore useful, little Miss Bugaphobe? Maybe we should find that cockroach from earlier, and make you touch it. Then they’d be able to hear your screams all the way back to Ponyville.”
“Hmm…” Diamond Tiara playfully scratched her chin, “Maybe we should get that roach, I mean, at least it can fly.”
“Why you rotten—”
“Both of y’all, cut it out! This is serious!” Apple Bloom commanded as she stepped between the warring fillies. “We ain’t got time for your bickering, we need to get their attention before anything else happens.”
“Fine,” said Scootaloo.
“Whatever,” huffed Diamond Tiara.
Apple Bloom’s features softened as the hostile atmosphere dissipated. The two hadn’t exactly exchanged olive branches, but a temporary ceasefire was good enough for her. At least now they’d be able to focus on the task at hoof, and what a task it was. Judging from the body of a dead mosquito lying a few feet away—which Diamond Tiara thankfully hadn’t noticed yet—, they couldn’t have been much bigger than a common housefly, which meant that just running out in front of their giant friends and hoping to be seen was out of the question. They needed... something. Something big...something like… that.
“Yeah... yeah... that’ll definitely work...” Apple Bloom remarked as she strode over to a small pile of junk on the barn floor. “Hey, Scoots, c’mere a sec and help me out with this. You too, Diamond Tiara.”
Diamond Tiara sighed. “If I must…”
“Did you come up with something?” Scootaloo asked.
“Yeah,” Apple Bloom said, her voice muffled slightly as she dug through the rubbish pile. “See, the way I figure it, even though we’re so small that they can’t see or hear us, that doesn’t mean than that they’re so big that they won’t feel this.” Apple Bloom emerged from her trash dive, holding up the sharp, faded end of an old push pin in her mouth. “It’s really light, but it’s so long that’s it’s gonna take all three of us to poke one of them.”
“Apple Bloom, that’s brilliant!” said Scootaloo.
Diamond Tiara scoffed. “Yeah, brilliant…except for the part where one of them accidentally steps on us before we even poke them with the pin.”
“Hey, I never said it was a perfect solution, but right now it’s all we’ve got,” Apple Bloom snapped.
“I’m just saying, this is stupid and dangerous. We could get hurt.”
“Look, Diamond, if you’ve got any better ideas, I’m all ears.”
As much as Diamond Tiara hated to admit it, and to one of the Cutie Mark Crusaders no less, Apple Bloom’s plan wasn’t totally stupid and save for setting the barn on fire using some old matches lying in the pile, it was their best bet. “Ugh… whatever, let’s just get this over with.”
“All right then. Scoots and I got the back, so you grab the front and steer us up to Sweetie Belle. When we get close, we’ll all start running at her, got it?” Apple Bloom asked, biting down on the back of the pin.
“Got it,” Scootaloo agreed, grabbing a portion of the shank with her mouth.
Diamond Tiara said nothing as she picked up the front of the pin and began leading her squad of blank-flanks towards the mountain of cream-white fluff that was Sweetie Belle. Drawing closer to their target, the trio began to pick up speed, opting to go at a well paced canter as opposed to a full on sprint for the sake of keeping their efforts coordinated. As they had made steady progress up to this point, the plan should have gone off without a hitch, the keywords here being ‘should have’.
For something slapped together at the last minute, Apple Bloom’s plan seemed fairly solid, however, she’d forgotten to account for two very minor details. The first being the lead pony’s crippling fear of insects and—assumably— most creatures of an arthropodic nature. The second being the population of insects and— by association— most creatures of an arthropodic nature in the decrepit, old barn they’d chosen as the ideal location to complete their insect study homework.
That said, it wasn’t long before one of the barn’s resident roaches came scurrying across the floor like a bat out of Tartarus. Apple Bloom could only watch as the creature barreled into Diamond Tiara, sending the pair tumbling, antennae over hooves, across the barn. “Wauugh! It’s touching me! It’s touching me! What are you blank-flanks doing!? Get this thing off of me— augh! It’s touching my hair!” Fueled by overwhelming terror, Diamond Tiara scrambled to her hooves and took off galloping and shrieking, her insect companion clinging tightly to her body.
“C’mon, Scoots, we gotta go help her!” Apple Bloom shouted.
“Apple Bloom, wait!” Scootaloo bit her friend’s tail to keep her from dashing off.
“Let me go! She needs our help!”
“I—nngh— know, but—”
“I said, let go!”Apple Bloom jerked her rump and tail to the side violently, whipping Scootaloo to the ground and freeing up her tail in the same motion. “Look Scootaloo, I don’t know what you’re problem is, but—” The filly froze mid sentence as something rushed by at an alarming rate of speed. Apple Bloom whipped around in time to see a huge, sleek figure slink into a nearby thicket of thicket of shadows. “Uhh, Scoots? What in the hay was that?”
“That’s what I was trying to warn you about! If you’d gone any further it would’ve run right over you, or worse!”
“Oh...” Apple Bloom’s cheeks grew pink from embarrassment. “Well, thanks, Scootaloo and, uh, sorry about throwing you earlier.”
“It’s so gross! Let go! Get off of meeeee!” Diamond Tiara’s distant cries snapped the fillies back to the matter at hoof.
“Don’t worry about it. Now, come on, we’ve gotta help Diamond Tiara.”
“Never thought I’d hear you say that,” Apple Bloom joked as she took the lead.
“Hopefully I’ll never have to say it again after this.”
The pair didn’t have to gallop particularly far to find Diamond Tiara, who had apparently exhausted herself running and was now struggling to wrestle the flailing roach off of her.
“Hold on, a sec.”
“Why, what’s up? Is that thing from earlier back?” Apple Bloom glanced around suspiciously.
“Nah, it’s just… well… you wanna just watch this for a minute?” Scootaloo gestured towards Diamond Tiara who was crying, trying and failing to crawl away from her new, surprisingly adhesive best friend.
Apple Bloom rolled her eyes and grinned. “I’d be lying if I said no, but we just ain’t got the time, Scoots.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Scootaloo sighed.
“It’s so sticky and evil!” the insectophobic Diamond Tiara sobbed as the roach began tapping her head with it’s antennae. “Why aren’t you doing anything?!”
“We’re right here, just hold on!” Apple Bloom cried, sprinting at the tussling twosome. She hurled herself headfirst into the shell-like side of Diamond Tiara’s unwanted hitchhiker, knocking the roach away, onto its back, where it kicked and flailed helplessly. Apple Bloom recalled Ms. Cheerilee explaining that because of its top-heavy body and lack of a backbone, a cockroach was essentially doomed if it fell on flat flooring with nothing to grab onto. A cruel twist of fate? Perhaps, but right now it was a necessary failing that they needed to exploit to keep a very scared and stuck up filly from hurting herself trying to desperately lose a harmless insect.
“You all right, Diamond Tiara?” Apple Bloom offered a helping hoof to the downed filly, but found it slapped away as Diamond Tiara pulled herself to a stand.
“What in Equestria took you two so long? That thing could’ve eaten me in the time it took you to get here!”
“Yeah, she’s fine,” Apple Bloom said.
“You’re welcome,” Scootaloo said.
Diamond Tiara’s scowl softened into a sneer. “For what? That half-flanked rescue effort? I was almost eaten by a bug! A filthy, slimy, scaly, nasty, disease-ridden bug!”
“Chill out,” sighed Scootaloo. “You were not almost eaten.”
“Tch. What do you know?”
“I know that roaches don’t eat ponies, because they aren’t predators, they’re scavengers. You’d know that too if you actually paid attention in science class instead of passing notes to Silver Spoon all the time.”
“Oh, shut up.”
“But you know, I read somewhere that they love to lay eggs in the manes of fillies our age.” Scootaloo leered at Diamond Tiara before running a hoof through her schoolyard rival’s mane. “Mmm… you might want to wash your hair when you get a chance.”
“Hey, that’s not funny!”
“You’re right... it’s hilarious!” Scootaloo cackled
Apple Bloom smiled and shook her head at the pair’s exchange. Their squabbling was a sure sign that they were safe, at least for the moment. “Alright, y’all two, knock it off. You can go at it like cats and dogs all you like once we’re back to normal, but right now, we’ve gotta get Sweetie Belle’s attention, so let’s go,” she commanded, heading back towards the pin with Scootaloo not far behind.
“Yeah, I’m coming...” Diamond Tiara mumbled, took one last glance at the immobilized cockroach kicking its spindly little legs in the air and grimaced before following her comrades.
The girls hadn’t moved particularly far before they heard a rapid, almost mechanical skittering behind them. Alarmed, the three immediately whipped around to find that the coast was for the most part clear. Nothing but dust, hay bales and cobwebs as far the eye could see. Therein lay the problem. “Uh, y’all? Where’d that roach go?” asked Apple Bloom.
“Good question,” Scootaloo replied.
“Well, I’ve got a better question: who really cares?” said Diamond Tiara. “It’s a bug. As far as I’m concerned, the less we see of it, the better.”
“I dunno, something ain’t right about this,” Apple Bloom said.
“Yeah, that thing couldn’t have gotten up by itself,” Scootaloo agreed.
Diamond Tiara, clearly tired of discussing the subject of her biggest fear, rolled her eyes and snorted. “Again, ‘who cares’? As long as that nasty thing doesn’t come flying out of nowhere again, I think we’ll be just fine not knowing what happened to it.” Diamond Tiara would quickly find that her statement had been prematurely uttered as she turned her back on the vacant space and began to trot off only to find herself staring at the underbelly of a very familiar and very headless insect.
Her heart skipped a beat as she noticed gooey, white pus streaming the empty space where its head should have been, and stopped altogether upon realizing that the decapitated roach wasn’t merely floating in midair, but being held there by a far larger and far more disturbing creature.
A countless number of body segments and twice as many legs chilled the tiny filly to the bone, but perhaps even more off putting than the monster’s body was its face. Soulless, beady black eyes locked with her own terrified azure pair, while its terrible, mechanical mouth and fangs continued to chew at the beheaded, yet somehow still kicking insect in its grip.
Not once while feasting on its kill did the multilegged hell-serpent remove its unblinking gaze from Diamond Tiara’s petrified form. She could only back away horrified and stuttering as the beast worked its multi-parted mouth into its prey’s thorax. “It… it’s eating it…” her eyes shifted to the mostly dead roach in its captor’s clutches. “...and it’s still moving...” As she’d been so focused on the scene before her Diamond Tiara nearly yelped as she brushed against Scootaloo, whose face had become as pale as her own.
Apple Bloom, now done with playing cockroach P.I. wandered over to join her peers, but was painted an immediate shade of curious upon seeing them seemingly stare at the sky. “What’re y’all lookin’ at— oh horsefeathers, what in the hay is that?”
“It… it’s a gigantic centipede…” the pegasus barely managed to utter.
All three simultaneously gulped and began stepping backwards, carefully watching the centipede watch them as it calmly chowed down on its kill.
“Guess that answers where the roach went so fast,” Apple Bloom remarked.
“Guys, it’s still looking at us,” Scootaloo said.
“M-maybe it’ll just go away on its own, when it’s done eating,” Diamond Tiara hoped aloud.
Unfortunately for Diamond Tiara, the centipede in any of its carnations is an opportunistic predator, and this particular beastie had all but exhausted the barn’s supply of prey insects. It would need a meal befitting a king before it would even considering leaving its cozy little roost to take its chances in the world outside. With an effortless flick of its legs, the centipede cast the mutilated remains of the roach aside and lowered itself to the floor, its massive body slithering towards the trio of terrified fillies.
“So much for it just going away!” Scootaloo said, backing away in a panic.
“No, no, no, no, no, no, go away, don’t come any closer,” Diamond Tiara pleaded into the thing’s emotionless black eyes, “Don’t let it touch me, don’t let it—”
“N-Now, don’t p-panic.” Apple Bloom said, “If we work together, maybe we can—”
“I don’t want to be eaten by a bug!” Diamond Tiara cried, instinctively hiding behind Apple Bloom’s rump.
“Diamond, stop freaking out!” Scootaloo shouted.
“But we’re all going to die!” The pink filly sobbed into the blank flank she’d perhaps mocked for the last time in her all too short life.
“Dangit, girl, get offa me! It’s getting closer!” Apple Bloom demanded sternly pushing her cowering cohort back. “Come on, we gotta run for it!”
“Right behind you, Apple Bloom!” said Scootaloo.
“Wait, don’t leave me behind!” Diamond Tiara gracelessly scrambled after the pair, running her little heart out until she twisted her right hoof on the dilapidated wood flooring. A sharp, shooting pain ran up her leg as she fell, causing her to scream out.
“Diamond Tiara?” Apple Bloom skidded to a halt and immediately sought out the fallen filly. She wasn’t too far behind, but then again neither was the centipede which was leisurely gliding along towards an easy, immobilized meal. “Oh, horseapples!”
“Help me, please! I don’t want to die like this!” Diamond pleaded, pathetically limping towards Apple Bloom with her uninjured hoof.
“Hang on, Diamond, we’re— Scootaloo?” Apple Bloom watched the panicked pegasus recklessly sprint past the distracted centipede to relative safety. For a moment she was shocked. Shocked that Scootaloo, the bravest, had most headstrong pony she knew next to her sister and Rainbow Dash, turned tail and ran when she needed her most. But she didn’t have time to dwell on her best friend’s sudden act of cowardice, Diamond Tiara needed help.
Apple Bloom rushed over and threw the injured filly’s wounded leg over her back, the pair struggling to canter away from their stalker. They could hear the thing’s methodic dagger-like steps as though they were only seconds away, envision its awful fangs dripping with anticipation of their soft filly flesh stuffing its mandible, see its shadow envelop them as it reared up to strike.
Acting on impulse and instinct, Apple Bloom slung Diamond Tiara across the floor and dove for cover just in time to avoid a snake-like lunge from their pursuer. A meaty ‘Thunk!’ from behind told her that they’d barely dodged the strike, but they couldn’t linger here. Out of the corner of her eye, Apple Bloom spotted a crack in the nearby wall. “Come on, get up! We’re goin’ in there!” Apple Bloom dragged her crippled companion in the crevice and pushed in after her as far as she could, the sound of pinprick feet scraping the ground fueling her retreat.
The predator outside was quick to shake off its failed strike, imposing itself upon the entrance to the girl’s shallow hiding space. The centipede found it was unable to enter due to its substantially wider body, but just because it couldn’t get in, that didn’t mean it couldn’t force its prey out. The alien creature slammed its fangs at the crack, giving the girls a solid demonstration of what painful death by hungry centipede mandibles would be like.
To Apple Bloom’s surprise Diamond Tiara was actually holding up pretty well given the circumstances. “I can’t believe that flightless coward ditched us!” Diamond Tiara spat between panicked pants and pained whimpers. Definitely an improvement over earlier when the now deceased cockroach had her in its clutches.
As much as she hated to hear her friend slandered like that, Apple Bloom couldn’t really blame Diamond Tiara. “Yeah, I can’t believe it either… it just ain’t like Scootaloo to run away like that.”
“Like her or not, she left us here, and now we’re… we’re going to be eaten by that!” Diamond Tiara gestured at the centipede, gnawing futilely at their little hidey hole.
Oddly enough, despite staring her arthropodic demise in the face, Apple Bloom found herself not so much fearing the painful dismemberment from the head down awaiting her once the thing figured out how to pull them out, but rather the stench of its rank breath. It was like rotten milk and sugar water with a hint of decaying bird mixed in. If the centipede didn’t kill them, its breath most certainly would.
“At least we’re safe,” Apple Bloom said, grimacing as she inhaled a lungful of centipede breath.
“Safe isn’t exactly the word I’d use,” Diamond Tiara grumbled.
“Well, we ain’t dead and eaten yet, that’s what counts.”
“It’s just a matter of time before it figures out how to snag one of us out of here. Eaten by a giant bug...” Diamond Tiara stared into the snapping alienesque jaw parts, heaved a remorseful sigh and sank to her haunches. “That’s the last way I thought I’d go...”
For the first— and possibly last— time in her life, Apple Bloom felt sympathy towards Diamond Tiara. She rested a hoof on the downcast filly’s withers as though to say, “This is the end, but at least we have eachother.” A sentiment that Diamond Tiara seemed to appreciate as she leaned into Apple Bloom’s embrace.
“Hold up, Diamond, do you feel that?”
Diamond Tiara rose a skeptical eyebrow, “Feel what?”
“The ground… it’s... shaking.”
“Shaking? I don’t feel anything shaking.”
“You don’t? Well whatever it is, it’s coming this way.”
“Oh joy, maybe this thing brought friends. Isn’t that wonderful, torn apart by even bigger bugs. Could things possibly get any worse.” Diamond Tiara found herself at a loss for words upon seeing the centipede suddenly shoot up and fall back, writhing on the ground in agony. “What the— what’s it doing?”
"Hey!" A familiar voice called into the hole. "What're you two doing just sitting there? Let's go!"
"Scootaloo?" Apple Bloom asked uncertainly.
"No, I’m a talking grasshopper,” Scootaloo the ‘grasshopper’ sarcastically shot back. “Now, come on, that thing isn’t going to stay down forever!”
“But how did you— “
“Come on!” the pegasus leapt into the hole and wrapped Diamond Tiara’s injured leg around her neck. “We’ve gotta get out of here before that thing decides to come after us again.” She wasted no time aiding the injured filly out of the hole and away from the still writhing predator.
As Apple Bloom galloped past their former attacker, she noticed a very familiar, very long metal pin had been lodged deep into the creature’s underbelly, causing globs of colorless blood oozing forth from the wound. She turned away from the grotesque sight, following her companions through the half open barn door to the world outside.
Sunshine, blue skies and a thick jungle of green grass greeted the trio, providing a pleasant transition from the dust-covered death trap they’d narrowly managed to escape from.
“Are you two okay?” Scootaloo asked as she helped Diamond Tiara to a soft patch of dirt beneath the shade of a browning leaf.
“I’m all right,” Apple Bloom replied.
“How about you?” Scootaloo asked Diamond Tiara.
“I’m fine, no thanks to you, coward,” The pink filly seethed as she massaged her sprain.
“Excuse me?”
“You heard what I said.” Diamond Tiara turned away with an angry huff. “When I fell, you just ran past me to save yourself and left me for dead!
“That’s not true, I—”
“If it wasn’t for Apple Bloom I’d be some freaky centipede’s lunch right now!”
“Hey, I came back to save you, didn’t I?”
“That doesn’t change the fact that you outright abandoned me when I broke my leg.”
Scootaloo rolled her eyes at Diamond’s over exaggeration. “Your leg isn’t broken, Diamond, it’s just a sprain.”
“But,” Diamond Tiara continued, making it clear that she was intent on ignoring Scootaloo’s sidebar comments in favor of hearing herself speak. “I suppose you’re not a complete coward, since you did come back to help and all.”
“What… you...”
“I think what she means is ‘thank you for saving us,’” Apple Bloom elaborated.
Scootaloo snorted out of irritation. “... Whatever.”
“Anyway,” Apple Bloom said, dead set on changing the topic at hoof, “I’m mighty glad that you saved us and all, but the pin you used to save us was our only way to get Sweetie Belle and Silver Spoon to notice us. How are we supposed to get their attention now?”
“Gah, I knew there was something I forgot to tell you,” said Scootaloo.
“Huh?” Apple Bloom tilted her head, puzzled.
“See, the thing is… Sweetie Belle and Silver Spoon… kinda… left already.”
“They’re gone!?” exclaimed Diamond Tiara.
“Yeah, they gave up on trying to figure out what happened to us, and left to find help. I mean I tried to get their attention, but there wasn’t much"
“Do you at least know where they went?” Apple Bloom asked.
Scootaloo nodded. “Yeah, they said something about heading to Ponyville to get Princess Twilight. Makes sense considering she’s usually the one who deals with crazy stuff like this.”
“Then we’re headin’ to Ponyville too,” Apple Bloom declared.
“You want to leave?” Diamond Tiara asked in disbelief. “Why don’t we just wait for them to get back?”
“Well, the way I figure it, we’re gonna end up at the library one way or another and it ain’t exactly safe to wait around here with that centipede and who knows what else running around in the barn. Besides, it could be fun.”
“Fun?” Diamond Tiara asked.
“Yup.” Apple bloom nodded.
“You think this is going to be ‘fun’?”
“Could be. I mean if you want to take your chances with the cockroaches and whatever else is in there, be my guest, but me and Scootaloo are leaving.”
“I guess it’s a good thing I brought this then.” Scootaloo reached under one of her wings and produced a familiar looking tome. “It’s that bug encyclopedia Sweetie Belle was reading earlier. I guess she shrunk it down with us.”
“Yeah, that could definitely come in handy. Good thinking, Scoots.” Apple Bloom turned expectantly towards Diamond Tiara. “Well? You wanna come or what?”
“I may as well,” Diamond Tiara sighed. “It’s not like I’m in any state to defend myself if something attacks. Just give me a heads up the next time you plan on leaving me for dead,” she snapped off at Scootaloo.
Scootaloo rolled her eyes as she draped Diamond Tiara’s injured leg around her neck. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just start walking already.”
