Decisions, Decisions
Long ago on one warm and misty night, Twilight wanted to make a wish. Her keen eyes roamed the dark sky. "I do not see a single star to make a wish upon," she said as she reared and pointed her horn at the moon. "Oh, dear Moon, please bring out a star for me tonight." Suddenly, the sky was ablaze with light. Every single star that existed shone down on Twilight. "Make your wish quickly, Twilight!" boomed the Moon. Twilight wished that all the stars would shine so bright on that same night every year. Now all the ponies come out to make their own special wishes on these starry, starry nights.
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POST-SINGULARITWI
_______
The sun rose, and its light crept into the Golden Oak Library's bedroom. Princess Twilight Sparkle slowly roused, yawning and stretching out her legs and wings.
Several seconds elapsed before she realized that something was wrong. Twilight Sparkle hadn't slept in this room for many years, and she certainly didn't remember making any plans to do so. She sat upright, startled by this realization, and quickly gathered her wits.
Twilight Sparkle scrutinized her memory for any clues as to why she would be here. She always woke up in her own royal bedroom, over in the Canterlot palace. She found that, alarmingly, she had a very vague memory of the recent past. She remembered being in her bed, mostly. She was always resting, trying to escape the all-encompassing weariness...
Recalling this, Twilight Sparkle was struck by a terrible realization. She was dying, or, rather, had been dying, of old age. Not even alicorns lived forever, she knew, even with extreme magical enhancement. The pony princess had been in a terrible state, not being able to move on her own, think critically, or remember much at all...
But she was doing all of those things in the present moment. Sitting on the bed, Princess Twilight Sparkle looked down at her perfectly healthy young body. She was obviously able to think effectively and remember things. Somehow, she had been plucked out of her deathbed and restored to her physical and mental prime.
“This is impossible. I am either dead or dreaming,“ declared Twilight to herself or to any spiritual entities that may be listening. She found it amazing to hear her voice again. Her best voice.
Twilight Sparkle judged that this was not a lucid dream. If that were the case, she could experience being healed physically but not mentally. She hadn't been able to think this clearly in a long time; obviously there was some benevolent external force at play here.
The alicorn realized that she must be dead. She had died, or she had somehow been restored to perfect condition and teleported to her old Ponyville home. Also, she just noticed, her home was in the exact same state it was in around the time she became a princess. That all seemed highly unlikely. She didn't actually remember dying, but that was to be expected, considering her previous mental state.
Twilight Sparkle was never much of a believer in the afterlife; she was a tad upset that she had been wrong about something so important. But this was one weird afterlife, she thought. Shouldn't she be a ghost or some other spirit? Why did it seem like she had just traveled back in time?
She slid off of her old (new-looking) bed, reasoning that she wasn't going to figure anything out by sleeping. Walking purposefully up to the bedroom window, she gained a better view of the outside. Indeed, the surrounding Ponyville looked exactly the same as it had so many years ago. She was surprised to notice one serious discrepancy, however: there were no other ponies to be seen. Twilight Sparkle was apparently alone in the afterlife.
She decided to perform an experiment. “Hello?” she inquired of the universe. “Is anypony there?”
Her ears immediately perked up, and she very nearly left the floor. There were one, two, three knocks on the nearby bedroom door. Apparently the universe, or whatever was waiting behind that door, had heard her.
Twilight Sparkle nervously trotted over to the door. This was the afterlife; literally anything could be behind that slab of wood. Most likely it was the embodiment of some powerful divine being, here to judge her life and punish her for any misdeeds. She took a few calming breaths, and, using her magic, swung open the door to reveal her mysterious guest.
“Pinkie Pie?”
“Hiya, Twilight! Hehe, I sure did surprise you, didn't I?”
Indeed, Twilight's brain had just crashed. She had been expecting anything but her dead friend. “How... What are you...”
The pink pony grinned and walked past Twilight Sparkle, who seemed to be frozen in place. “Don't worry, Twi, I'll explain everything.” She went and plopped down on the bed. “Come on over, make yourself comfortable! This might take a while.”
Twilight Sparkle had managed to turn around and was still staring, astounded, at Pinkie Pie. She had realized the implications of her presence, and her eyes had begun to fill with tears. “Pinkie Pie, you're... You're still alive! You made it into the afterlife!”
Pinkie Pie suddenly looked confused. “Um, well, yes, I guess you could put it that way, but...”
She didn't have time to finish, because Twilight Sparkle was already hugging her.
“I missed you so much, Pinkie,” whimpered Twilight Sparkle, burying her face in the fluffy pink mane. “You don't know how much I've missed you.”
“Oh, I missed you too, Twilight,” said Pinkie Pie, giving a sad little smile. “But there's a lot we need to talk about.”
Twilight sniffled and withdrew from her fervent hug. “Our other friends? Are they here too?”
“Well, um, no, not exactly...” said Pinkie Pie, looking as if there were no less desirable question.
Twilight Sparkle cringed back as if injured. “What do you mean, not exactly?”
Pinkie gave a dejected sigh. “You could say that... that they're still dead.”
“What?” cried Twilight Sparkle. “How could this happen? That's not fair at all!”
“Well, um, you see, we are both... special, in regards to the afterlife,” managed Pinkie Pie. “But, listen, Twi, we really, really need to talk about some other things before that.”
“I just don't understand anything here,” said Twilight Sparkle, heartbroken. “I trust you, Pinkie Pie. I trust you to explain. You always knew more about weird things than I did.”
“I gotta warn you, Twilight, it'll all be pretty hard to understand, and even harder to accept.”
Twilight Sparkle smiled softly at her friend. “Learning is what I do, Pinkie Pie. And I'm dead now; I can probably accept anything.”
Pinkie Pie visibly relaxed. “I'm glad you're approaching this the right way. To help me explain, I'm gonna do some things that won't make any sense, but I'll need you to accept them. Is that all right?”
Twilight Sparkle was now even more confused, but she still trusted her friend entirely. And Pinkie Pie doing weird things wasn't anything new. “Of course, Pinkie. Go right ahead.”
Pinkie Pie slid off the bed and moved towards the spacious center of the bedroom, as if she needed more space for her explanation. It turns out that she did, because a large spherical object appeared right above her head.
Nonsensical thing number one, noted Twilight wryly. Probably the first of many. She realized that this must be a model of a planet; it even looked similar to Equestria.
“This,” began Pinkie Pie, motioning to the rotating model, “is a very special planet called Earth.”
_______
Twilight Sparkle paced around the bedroom, her mind reeling with all the new facts Pinkie Pie had provided. She scanned the room again, taking note of all the bizarre Earth-related objects that had been summoned. The gun, the (tiny) car, and the computer were some of the most important ones, according to her guide. It all seemed pretty crazy, even for Pinkie Pie.
“One other thing,” said Twilight Sparkle, examining the computer. “Wouldn't the humans have kept their control over the machine, and eventually stopped it? You said they had leaders, why didn't they use their military power to keep it in check?”
Pinkie Pie jumped at the opportunity. “Actually, human leaders didn't have any say in the matter. The intelligent machine had sent out many tiny machine minions that no human force could resist; they gained complete control over Earth within weeks! The machine was doing good for the humans, but it didn't always mind their opinions.”
She playfully poked at the floating sphere with a hoof. A splotch of gray appeared and expanded, quickly growing to cover the planet.
“Oh. Um... thanks for clearing that up,” remarked Twilight Sparkle, still not fully understanding the actions of this so-called intelligent machine. She also didn't get why Pinkie Pie made the model turn gray, but decided not to ask about it.
“No problem!” remarked Pinkie Pie cheerfully. “Have any other questions?”
Twilight Sparkle sat down on her window-side cushion, taking in the familiar sight of morning Ponyville. The town was still conspicuously empty, and she still didn't know why.
“Yes, Pinkie Pie,” she began, “I now know what humans are, and I know what technology they created. I know that there was a 'technological singularity' on Earth and some thinking machine took over everything. My question is: what does any of this have to do with our current situation?”
Pinkie Pie grinned, her eyes twinkling mischievously. “Oh Twilight, my friend, it has everything to do with our current situation.”
Twilight Sparkle realized that Pinkie Pie had been waiting for that one question. She gave her friend a pleading stare, daring her to continue withholding her real explanation.
Pinkie Pie got the hint, and looked slightly disappointed. “Okay, okay, I'll get to the point. This is the 'hard to accept' part of the story.” She paused and ambled over to the window seat, as if giving Twilight Sparkle some time to brace herself.
“I still trust you completely, Pinkie Pie. I'll try my best.” Twilight studied Pinkie Pie's face closely, waiting for her to begin. She was hoping that her friend would provide a good explanation of the afterlife.
Pinkie Pie cleared her throat and looked downwards before starting. “So. You know how I said that Earth and Equestria don't exist in the same universe? Well, um, that's not really true. Equestria doesn't exist in the way that Earth exists. The universe of Equestria is only a simulation, run by the same machine I told you about earlier.”
Twilight Sparkle was already having a hard time following. “A simulation? You mean, like, an experiment?”
Pinkie Pie sat up straight and started dropping sentences so complex that Twilight almost forgot who was talking. “A computational simulation. The machine can manipulate bits of data to reproduce any physical event, including consciousness. Our bodies, this bedroom, this world, they don't actually exist... they're just collections of data arranged to fool your artificial senses.”
“But... we were both born in Equestria, we lived and died in Equestria, how could you say that it was all just a bunch of computations?” asked Twilight Sparkle, dumbfounded by these assertions.
“Well, basically, the machine is very good at simulating things, and the fake world can appear perfectly realistic when viewed from the inside. So, um, Equestria does exist, and you were born there, in a sense. But viewed from the outside, from the actual universe, there is no Twilight Sparkle, and there is no Equestria, there is only the machine moving data around.”
Twilight Sparkle only stared at her friend, mouth agape. She didn't know what to make of this. Pinkie Pie had been right in warning her; if everything she just said was true, then Twilight may never come to accept it. She nervously looked around the bedroom, wondering if everything was just an illusion.
“Pinkie Pie,” said Twilight Sparkle desperately, “how do you know this is true?”
Pinkie Pie gazed out the window, and contemplated for a few seconds before answering. “You were the only conscious being in all of Equestria, Twilight Sparkle. Everyone else was an illusion; they did not think for themselves or feel any emotion. They were just puppets of the machine, existing only to complete your own life in Equestria.”
Pinkie Pie kept plowing forward, ignoring her friend's anguished expression. “You used to be a human on Earth. Your mind was transferred out of your human body and into the machine. Nobody else in Equestria had been a human.”
She looked down at the floor, as if ashamed to have caused Twilight so much distress. But she still wasn't done. She spoke more quickly now, desiring only to get it all over with. “I'm just another puppet, Twilight. The machine is giving me life, but it's also acting through me; that's how I did those impossible things. That's how I know everything.”
Twilight Sparkle felt close to tears. She didn't want to believe any of this. But the explanation was plausible, considering her present situation. And this was her lifelong friend, Pinkie Pie, who had always trusted and loved her... But had Pinkie Pie ever felt any love for her friends? Was she faking caring about Twilight Sparkle at this very moment?
“But... I... why don't I remember being a human? And why am I still alive right now, if I died in Equestria?”
Pinkie Pie didn't skip a beat. “You gave up your human memories and personality to fully become Twilight Sparkle the pony. Even after your preplanned 'death', you had wanted to decide what to do next as Twilight Sparkle, not as your original human self. You wanted a certain pony as your helper to explain things and help you decide, so here I am.”
That, at least, explained why Twilight Sparkle was still alive, and why Pinkie Pie was the only other pony in the world. But it didn't necessarily make Twilight feel any better; she was nearing her breaking point. “Pinkie,” she said, her voice very strained, “is that all really true? If you were ever really my friend, please... please, just tell me the truth.”
Pinkie looked at her friend with large, sorrowful eyes. “Yes, Twilight. It's all true.”
Twilight Sparkle gave a great, shuddering sigh. Pinkie Pie moved closer and leaned against her, a reassuring gesture. Twilight Sparkle looked outside, taking in the beautiful sunny illusion of Ponyville. This had been her favorite spot for reading, and this had been her favorite window. She'd looked out this same window thousands of times before, on perfectly normal days, after finishing a good book or returning from some jolly party. She had seen the residents of Ponyville, her most loyal subjects, lounging outside and chatting amiably with their friends.
But there were no other ponies today; no point in providing illusions that she could see right through. Not only were her friends and family dead, but they had apparently never been alive in the first place. And Twilight Sparkle herself was not a real pony; instead she was some weird monkey-turned-machine trapped inside a simulation.
Twilight Sparkle wondered briefly if she would have been better off dead. It was all just too much to think about. She only now noticed the wetness on her cheeks.
There was a heavy air of melancholy in the library. Pinkie Pie seized the moment. “Do you want it to start raining?” she asked gently.
“Yes. No, I don't... well... just do what you think best, Pinkie.”
It began raining.
_______
Many minutes passed; both ponies sat together, inside, comfortably sheltered from the artificial elements. Twilight Sparkle had recovered and, of course, was doing some more thinking.
“I have a question, Pinkie Pie,” she began. “Why did my past self create and decide to live in Equestria? Why did the human say 'I want to live in some new world filled with soft friendly ponies, as a unicorn pony named Twilight Sparkle'?”
The pink pony perked up in her seat, glad to provide for her friend. “No, silly, you didn't create Equestria! Like so many others, you were just attracted to the idea and you wanted to experience it more completely.”
“The idea? If I didn't specify Equestria for me to live in, then who did?”
“Well, um, are you really sure you w-”
“Yes.”
“Well, okay, you asked for it! The truth is: “ -she took a great breath of air- “the world you've been living in is actually based on a children's cartoon.”
“A children's what?” asked Twilight Sparkle, again having lost Pinkie's meaning.
Pinkie Pie cocked her head to the side and gave a funny look; she apparently enjoyed talking about this particular topic. “Cartoon! It was called My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic! It was an animated cartoon, produced by Hasbro Studios and aired on the Hub in the years two-thousand-ten to two-thousand-thirteen. It was created using Adobe Flash, and-“
Twilight Sparkle interrupted her with a raised hoof. “Pinkie Pie, please. I really appreciate that you're trying to act like... like your old self, but I need an actual explanation. Just tell it to me straight.”
Pinkie Pie deflated, her attempt to cheer up Twilight shot down. “If you really want it that way. But I was telling it straight, you just don't remember enough to understand.”
Twilight sighed and looked out at Ponyville again. There was still not a pony in sight; it was now a dead world, a completely and utterly fake world. But it existed for a reason. “Okay, let's start over. What, exactly, was a 'cartoon?'”
Pinkie Pie immediately launched into her real explanation, not bothering to mince words. “Before the singularity, humans created electronic devices called televisions, which were boxes that displayed recorded sequences of images. Like a computer screen, they provided the illusion of watching something happen through the flat display surface.
“For most humans, watching the television was a common activity. Many recorded shows were created, and later repeatedly played, to inform or entertain.” Pinkie Pie paused for a moment, allowing Twilight to take it all in.
Twilight Sparkle was reminded of listening to school lectures as a filly, and she suddenly felt a strong urge to reach for her notebook and quill. She reflected upon this; her face contorted, and she looked down at her hooves. Somehow, her realization had hit her just as hard as finding out that her friends had never been real people.
Pinkie Pie had noticed her friend's change in mood. “You okay, Twi? I'm really sorry if I upset you; other ponies don't usually react that way to televisions, but it has happened before.”
“Oh, it's not that, Pinkie,” whimpered Twilight Sparkle, not catching the peculiar extra comment. She shakily voiced her concern. “I just, well... I've always loved learning so much, but nothing I actually learned about is real, and it was all pointless, just fantasy made up by the machine, and...”
“No, no, don't think of it that way, “ said Pinkie Pie, laying her head on Twilight's trembling side. “You loved learning, and that's what made you you; nothing can change that. And I think you're a really great learner, Twilight.”
“I wish I could believe you.”
Again, some time passed without further conversation. The patter of raindrops on the library and Twilight's soft weeping were the only sounds in the world.
_______
“And that's how Equestria was made!” concluded Pinkie Pie.
Twilight Sparkle fretfully paced circles around the library foyer while her friend watched. “Okay, Pinkie Pie, here's what you're telling me. This entire world is based on a fantasy story made for human children, which is itself based on toys made for human children. I was not even 'born' in the regular sense, but my memories and personality were artificially developed based on the machine's observations of the story's main character. Most of my life experiences, and all of my friends, were just copied over from this cartoon.”
“Yep!”
Twilight Sparkle plopped down in the middle of the room, as if giving up. She looked up at Pinkie, who was hanging from a ledge and smiling playfully. “Pinkie, I... how could you possibly expect me to accept this?”
“It's not so bad, really!” argued Pinkie Pie. “We did have some pretty exciting lives, don't you think?”
Twilight Sparkle did not entirely agree. She sighed heavily, then trotted towards the dining table, seating herself more properly. She was trying to make sense of what Pinkie Pie was telling her, trying to convince herself that her life had meaning. The facts and their implications bounced around inside her head, but she made no progress. She felt like she would lay down and give up everything forever, or burst into tears again, or both.
There was only one thing she could do.
“Pinkie Pie?” called out Twilight Sparkle, not looking up from the table.
Pinkie Pie dropped down and smacked right into the wooden floor. She then bounced over to where Twilight Sparkle was sitting.“Yes, Twilight?”
Twilight Sparkle took a deep breath, bracing herself. “I want to watch it,” she announced. “If only to see what the other people saw, what my past self saw. How Equestria appeared from the outside.”
Pinkie Pie suddenly looked anxious. “Um, I dunno, Twilight, it might wrongly influence your choices in some way, or worse...”
Twilight Sparkle didn't want to do this. “Pinkie, didn't you say you were my helper now? I want this explained. You have to let me watch it.”
Pinkie gave an exasperated sigh. “Oh well, I tried!” she exclaimed. “We can watch the cartoon.”
Twilight Sparkle ignored her friend's comments. There was really nothing more to lose, she thought. “How do we do this? Which part should I watch?”
Pinkie Pie quickly changed manner, giggling and bouncing some more. For some reason, she was now excited to proceed. “Don't worry about it, Twi, I've got you covered.”
A large object appeared, sitting right in the center of Twilight's trusty round table. Twilight Sparkle, after again having to accept that anything could happen here, realized that this was a television.
“Isn't it just super duper amazing? It was one of the most popular models in two-thousand-twelve. I figured it'd be well to choose one from the time of the show.”
Twilight Sparkle would have indeed been very excited, if only her passion for learning hadn't been completely destroyed. She was looking at a totally novel, brilliantly designed, immensely complex invention, and she could not find it in her to care. “Yes, very exciting.”
Pinkie Pie decided to take more offensive action. The room darkened and two enormous fuzzy beanbags appeared; an immense tub of popcorn sat between them, accompanied by some fizzy drinks. Pinkie Pie jumped onto one of the beanbags with an immense fwump. She grabbed a drink and beckoned Twilight Sparkle over. “Come on, Twilight. You could at least try to relax.”
Twilight Sparkle moved to join her friend, but stopped dead in her tracks. She considered what Pinkie Pie had just done. “Pinkie Pie,” she said nervously, “were you always more powerful than Discord?”
Pinkie Pie giggled, apparently having perceived the question as frivolous. “Oh, Twilight, you flatter me! Well, no, I wasn't, because I wasn't your helper back then. I did have some pretty neat powers, but none of them could have held a candle to what I have now!”
So that was it, then, thought Twilight Sparkle. Her jolly old friend was now a god, more powerful than every alicorn and Discord combined. She wondered how that must feel, if it was being felt at all.
Twilight Sparkle sighed and plopped down next to Pinkie Pie, ignoring the tasty food items. She didn't feel like eating just yet. And it wasn't like she needed to eat anything now, being undead.
Pinkie Pie was holding a new object that could only be a remote. “Oh, this will be fun, Twilight! You're about to relive the most important day of your entire life!”
Twilight Sparkle was only slightly more curious. “Can we just get started?”
“Okie-dokie!”
Twilight Sparkle noticed that the library was now completely silent; the rain must have stopped. The black screen of the television suddenly lit up, and a video started playing.
“Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria..."
_______
“Twilight?” asked Pinkie Pie through the locked bedroom door. "It's been two hours. Do you wanna talk now?”
Twilight Sparkle silently ignored her, burying her face further inside the tear-stained pillow.
The Element of Laughter would not give up that easily. “Twilight, you know, you have to decide what to do with your life. I know it's hard, but you can't just cry about it forever.”
Decide what to do with her life. Her artificial, scripted life, planned out by some human writer years before she was born. Twilight Sparkle wondered if she had ever actually decided to do anything. If everything she ever did had just been part of the machine's plan to replicate the cartoon.
Yes, she thought, go ahead and replicate the cartoon, a human thought it might be fun. The original Twilight Sparkle had existed only to entertain humans. This was still true even after the singularity, because her greedy past self presumably couldn't handle having a real life.
“Pinkie Pie,” she said quietly, “I should not have woken up today.”
Unseen by Twilight, Pinkie Pie opened the door and moved inside. “Oh, I wouldn't be so sure of that, Twilight.”
Twilight Sparkle managed to pull her face away from the pillow. She looked at her friend with darkened, hopeless eyes. “I lived my life, Pinkie. Even if it was a completely fake life, I should be dead.”
Pinkie Pie sighed and went to sit on the edge of the bed. “Well, um... you can't really die,” she disclosed. “The machine won't let you.”
Twilight Sparkle's face immediately returned to its previous position on the pillow. Out of everything Pinkie had said today, that had been the worst. “No, that's not fair. That's. Not. Fair!” she screamed into the bed. “I'm finished! I finished my life, and I died, I could have accepted that! I could have just rested in peace, but no, I find out that the world was only a simulation, and my life was a cartoon, and... and...”
She wasn't able to finish her rant, her words having devolved into blubbering. The tears were falling faster than before; the poor pillow hadn't even had time to dry itself.
Pinkie Pie waited several seconds for the crying to subside. “Twilight,” she said gently, “I said you can't really die. Your true self, your continued consciousness, will always be here. But Twilight Sparkle is just one personality and a collection of memories; those things can be changed.”
With some difficulty, Twilight Sparkle saw what Pinkie Pie was trying to tell her. “What... you mean that I, as Twilight Sparkle... I can die?” she managed. “But... but then I would just become a different person, with different thoughts...”
“Yes, you could do that,” replied Pinkie Pie despondently. “Your experience as Twilight Sparkle would be over.”
Twilight Sparkle considered her options. “What about... what about my past self? Could I just go back to who I was?”
“I don't think your past self would be very happy with you,” said Pinkie Pie nonsensically. “I mean, well, you had wanted to become Twilight Sparkle, and stay that way.”
Twilight Sparkle could not begin to fathom why anyone would give up their real life to become a simulated cartoon character. “Why?” asked Twilight, crestfallen. “How could I have possibly thought that? Didn't I have real accomplishments, real friends?”
Pinkie Pie stared curiously at her friend, as if deciding how to explain. “Oh, yes... you had human friends in here. They were your family, actually.”
The alicorn's breath caught in her chest; she had not expected that word to come up. Intrigued, she started firing off questions. “What... what were they like? Are they still around? Why didn't I want to be with them?”
“Um, you all... aren't on the best of terms. After the singularity, you had a falling out, and you haven't talked to them since.”
The only conscious people in the universe who had loved her, and they loved her no longer. “What happened?” asked Twilight Sparkle, more than a little upset.
“Well, basically, you had different opinions. Your family had wanted to live in an Earth simulation, and they'd wanted their memories of the singularity wiped, so that their lives would be exactly the same as before. You didn't feel the same way.”
“Wait, what was so bad about an Earth simulation? Wouldn't I have wanted to be with my family?”
“You were much more, um, fantasy-inclined. That is, you wanted to live in more fantastical worlds, and you were willing to reset your mind to do so. You didn't like your human life, anyway, and you didn't think you needed your family. So, you argued and went your separate ways, and that's that.”
Twilight Sparkle was getting desperate. “Is.. is there any way I could talk to them? Just to see what they're up to?”
“Um, I don't think they would take you so well, because, you know, you're a pony princess now,” replied Pinkie Pie, wide-eyed. “And they did wipe their own memories; to them, the singularity never happened.”
Twilight Sparkle sighed, defeated. She considered her past self. She had only lived one real life, and she still knew nothing about it.
Pinkie Pie somehow sensed her friend's concern. “Do... do you wanna know who you were before?” she asked tentatively.
“Yes. I have to know. Just tell me, please, what was my name, how did I act, what did I accomplish in life?”
“Okay, I'll tell you. But I don't think you'll like it,” said Pinkie Pie, resigned. “Your human name was Jonah Corrigan, and you were twenty-nine years old. You hadn't gotten a proper education or a job, and you were very depressed. You were hopelessly addicted to video games and drugs.”
Pinkie Pie paused and looked downwards. “It was really bad. You tried to kill yourself once.”
Jonah Corrigan. Human names were rather odd, thought the pony princess. And it apparently wasn't very fun being a human. Twilight Sparkle was not actually upset at the news; instead, she had determined something important. “Okay, Pinkie... let's please not refer to my past self as 'me' anymore. I don't believe that that was me. I get the whole continued consciousness thing, but really, I just...”
“I understand,” said Pinkie, looking sympathetic for her friend. “But now, I hope you can see why you're living as Twilight Sparkle.”
Twilight Sparkle thought back. Back to the parties and adventures with her friends, to the books she read, to the evils she conquered. Her life may not have been real in the slightest, but it seemed a heck of a lot better than what Pinkie Pie had just described. “I do,” replied Twilight. “I mean, I guess I could see why someone would prefer my life to the one you just described...”
Pinkie Pie brightened, relieved that the hardest part was over. “Now that's the spirit!” she said encouragingly. “You gotta admit, Twilight, the singularity was really a good thing. You're a lot better off in fantasy-land.”
Twilight Sparkle shifted around under the sweaty blanket. Then she quickly sat up, having realized something very unsettling. “Pinkie Pie,” she began nervously, “how many others? How many others gave up their lives to live as Twilight Sparkle?”
“A lot,” was the candidly straightforward reply.
Well, having people copy you wasn't as bad as being a cartoon character, thought this instance of Twilight Sparkle. “It's not like there isn't enough Equestria to go around, right? Have humans lived as any of the other ponies? Like, Fluttershy, or even you, Pinkie Pie?”
“Oh yes,” answered Pinkie Pie. “The cartoon became a whole lot more popular after the singularity. Humans became characters not only from the original story, but also from many different fan-works. You'd be surprised at how many Littlepips there are.”
“I wonder what the human cartoon writers think of all this,” mused Twilight Sparkle.
Her friend only smiled at her. Pinkie Pie probably knew exactly what they were thinking, observed Twilight dryly.
Twilight Sparkle soon decided to leave the bed, for it was getting very uncomfortable. She trotted over to the window, opening it to clear up the musty room. Breathing in deeply through her nose, she already felt rejuvenated.
“You mentioned earlier that I have to decide what to do with my life. What did you mean by that, exactly?”
“Decide what life to live. Like... like you did when you chose to become who you are now.” She paused, and her large eyes bored into Twilight's own. “You can do anything now, Twilight. You could return to Equestria and bring back our other friends. Or you could become anything. Another pony, a human, a giant squirrel, a statue, or even a talking cat,” she said, completely serious.
Twilight Sparkle knew she was in the universe's greatest playground. Or rather, she was trapped in it. But she couldn't imagine herself taking further advantage of the situation. No; she would be defiling everything she had held dear if she chose to indulge in another fantasy world. “Pinkie Pie,” she said, “you know I don't want that.”
“I told you, Twilight,” said Pinkie Pie painfully, “you can only become someone else. You could forget that you ever lived as Twilight Sparkle. But you can't die.”
“Then I will do that,” surrendered Twilight Sparkle. “If I can't really die, I will become someone else.”
“Who?”
Twilight Sparkle paused, foolishly caught off guard. “I have no idea,” she admitted.
Pinkie Pie slid off of the bed. “Well, you should probably take some time to think about that,” she advised. “You could try living normally for a bit. Read a book, or eat a hayburger, or something.”
“I don't want to live normally, Pinkie Pie, because I am dead. I won't even eat a hayburger, because hayburgers were part of my life in Equestria, and I have left that behind.”
Pinkie Pie struck right at the heart of Twilight's uncertainty. “You wouldn't be 'defiling' your life by doing those things here, Twilight. Your life in Equestria is over, and you can think of this as the afterlife. And it's only temporary, really. Just try to be yourself; it will make things easier.”
Twilight Sparkle didn't have time to respond before Pinkie Pie took action. There were now piles of books spaced around the bedroom, along with a plate of five impossibly pristine hayburgers sitting on the nearby nightstand.
Pinkie Pie was already at the door. “I'll just leave you alone now. I hope that you'll come to feel better.”
Twilight Sparkle only stared at her friend, who closed the door ever so slowly. She looked around and sighed; there must have been at least a hundred books in her bedroom. The Earth objects still remained, making the room rather crowded. She looked at the gun, but only for a moment.
Out of forlorn curiosity, she walked around the room, picking at the piles of books (the hayburgers could wait.) Unsurprisingly, many of the books had been her favorites. Most predominantly there were the Daring Do novels, the fantasies she had held most dear. She noted wryly that she had actually been a fictional character reading fictional fiction. What would those human writers think of that?
There were many prominent nonfiction books, as well. Predictions and Prophecies, Slumber 101, Supernaturals... each one associated with certain memorable events in Twilight Sparkle's life. She was surprised to notice many new books; they all had peculiar titles and seemed to use different materials. Permutation City, Accelerando, The Singularity Is Near? Obviously these had not been written by other ponies.
By providing these human books, Pinkie Pie had wanted Twilight Sparkle to educate herself. Twilight had to admit that she still knew very little about the humans and their technology. Looking idly at the books, she was struck by a realization: the humans had known about the singularity. Based on what Pinkie Pie had told her about the singularity, this seemed rather illogical. How could the humans have been so inconsiderate as to create an intelligent machine without proper restraints?
Twilight Sparkle broke out of her book-induced reverie and considered her situation. Pinkie Pie did have a point; she should more time thinking about her decision. And she would probably be fine keeping some things from her life in Equestria; she didn't plan to go overboard and do something crazy like reviving her other friends.
Out of pure habit, she started to organize the books. Her horn lit up, and the books were quickly sorted into piles of fiction, nonfiction, magic, technology...
Twilight Sparkle caught herself and sighed wistfully. She had a lot of reading to do.
_______
Moonlight shimmered in the air, the only source of light in the library foyer. Twilight Sparkle strolled up to the beanbag and gently prodded the sleeping pony with her hoof. “Pinkie Pie?” she whispered.
Pinkie Pie roused, shifting around to look up at her friend. “Hi, Twilight,” she said softly.
“Good morning, Pinkie Pie,” said Twilight Sparkle despite it not actually being morning.
Pinkie Pie sat up and rubbed her eyes with a hoof. “How long was I out?”
“At least five days, I think.”
“Oh, whoops!” quipped Pinkie Pie. “Well, um, did you like any of the books?”
Twilight Sparkle plopped down on the other beanbag. The television glinted in the moonlight; she tried to ignore it. “Yes, I did. I'm a lot more at ease, knowing more about the humans, knowing how we actually came to be here...”
“That's good.”
“I have a question,” said Twilight Sparkle. “Does Earth still exist? Are there any real humans?”
“No,” replied the machine's puppet. “The machine consumed both of them.”
“Oh.”
There was an uncomfortable silence. “So... do you know what you'll do now?” asked Pinkie Pie.
“Yes,” replied Twilight Sparkle. “I want to go back. Back to who I was.”
Pinkie Pie only waited, forcing Twilight to elaborate.
Twilight Sparkle sighed, considering how to word her explanation. “The way I see it is... my past self chose to live a fake life, and they should deal with the consequences. Not me. They can just go and reset their mind again, do whatever they want to escape their unhappiness. But I won't do that. I lived as Twilight Sparkle, I thought I was real, and I'm done here, because I don't want to be fake any more.”
Pinkie Pie's reaction, if there was one, was invisible from Twilight's position. “I understand, Twilight. You shouldn't be forced to live any longer, I know,” she said reassuringly. “But, like I said, I don't think that you... um, your past self will be happy with your decision.”
Twilight Sparkle did not care one (literal) bit. “From what you've told me, they weren't very happy with anything. And they'll probably just reset their mind again, so it doesn't even matter.”
“Yes, you're right. If you really don't care, then, I respect your decision.”
Twilight Sparkle was relieved. She had done it, made the decision. She would be truly leaving Equestria now; leaving her friends, her adventures, and life's simple pleasures all behind. As should have happened already.
“So...” said Pinkie Pie gloomily, “do you wanna anything else here? Before you leave?”
Twilight Sparkle had to remind herself that neither of them belonged in this library; they were both dead. “No,” she replied bluntly.
“Okay, then,” said Pinkie Pie. “Just go to sleep again, and it will be over. For real this time.”
Twilight Sparkle rose and began moving slowly to the bedroom, correctly assuming that Pinkie Pie would follow. “Pinkie,” said Twilight while they climbed the stairs, “just curious. You never really died, right? You were always with me in Equestria.”
“Well, um... no. I told you, I'm just this body, being controlled by the machine. There was no point in simulating my mind, Twilight, because you wouldn't have noticed.”
They had reached the bedroom door. Twilight Sparkle entered the room and turned to face her old friend. For a few painful seconds, neither of them did anything.
“So,” said Twilight Sparkle, “This really is it, then? I guess this means I'll never see you again.”
“I guess not. But, really, I'll always be there for you, in one way or another.”
Twilight Sparkle stared acutely at Pinkie Pie. “No,” she declared, dejected. “I, Twilight Sparkle, want to say goodbye to Pinkie Pie. Pinkie Pie, my lifelong friend, not the fictional cartoon character or the omnipotent machine overlord.”
Pinkie looked downwards with her large, sorrowful eyes, ashamed for her comment. “Okay. I understand.”
The two friends shuffled closer and embraced, hugging earnestly for several seconds.
“Goodbye, Pinkie Pie.”
“Goodbye, Twilight Sparkle.”
They broke away and regarded each other once more. Twilight nodded towards the bedroom door, and Pinkie Pie turned to leave. Twilight Sparkle ambled over to her bed and started to slide under the covers.
“Oh, Pinkie?”
Pinkie Pie looked back and leaned forward curiously. “Yes, Twilight?”
“You were a really great friend.”
She smiled delicately, her eyes shining in the light. “You too, Twilight.”
The door was closed gently, and Twilight Sparkle laid her head down. She noticed that the little suns and moons on her blanket were twinkling from the light of the moon in the sky. Twilight Sparkle hadn't seen this blanket in many years. It had been her favorite blanket; her parents had given it to her some time after she moved to Ponyville. It always reminded her of her parents. She sighed softly into the pillow.
Twilight Sparkle had loved her parents. She had loved her friends. All of that love had been wasted; those ponies had been mindless puppets, created solely to satisfy her. Even Pinkie Pie. She wondered if Pinkie Pie was reading her thoughts right now. It wouldn't surprise her in the slightest.
Of course I am, silly! We are the same, after all; it's ones and zeroes all the way down!
Twilight Sparkle shifted around under the blanket. She wondered briefly what the future version of herself would choose to do. Maybe they would try to reunite with their family. Or make some conscious friends. Or maybe they would just go and forget themselves again. Frankly, she didn't care. Let this immortal machine-person do whatever they want; Twilight Sparkle the pony had lived her life, and she was done. She closed her eyes and breathed more deeply.
Twilight Sparkle considered her life. She'd done so much in so short a time. She'd been a perfect student in the magical arts. She had united the Elements of Harmony and, together with her friends, saved Equestria many times over. She experienced enough fun and adventure to last several lifetimes.
She realized something important: it didn't matter if those events only occurred because they were the ideas of some human cartoon makers. The plot did not simply unfold on its own; Twilight Sparkle had been there, and without her conscious efforts none of those things would have happened. Whether it was organizing the Winter Wrap Up or defeating the spirit of chaos, Twilight Sparkle had been there, and she had experienced those things as if they were real, dynamic, unscripted.
It hadn't all been a computer simulation or a children's cartoon. It had been her life.
She was beginning to drift off, a profound heaviness having settled over her. The blanket was all-encompassing; the little suns and moons were hugging her, as the Princesses Celestia and Luna had done so long ago. Random thoughts started to cross her mind, and she found peace. Semi-consciously, she tried to recall the most memorable moments of her life.
Witnessing Princess Celestia raise the sun, and being inspired to study magic. Gaining my cutie mark and also Spike, always my most loyal friend and Number One Assistant. Meeting my friends in Ponyville, feeling more uncertain than ever. Causing the spark to unite the Elements, the greatest fulfillment of friendship in the entire universe.
My first Grand Galloping Gala, ruined for the better. Understanding the true significance of friendship and persevering under disharmony. Attending the craziest wedding in Equestria, and witnessing the power of love. Helping to save the crystal ponies from domination, Princess Celestia's final test. Being crowned a princess, cheered on by ponies of all kinds. My loving friends, each one supporting me until the very end. Laughing and hurting together, always and forever.
Twilight Sparkle soon descended into oblivion, smiling from the memories.
_______
The posthuman mind awakened, having been placed back inside his previous human body. He lounged torpidly for a few seconds before realizing what had happened. “No!” exclaimed the human, bolting upright in the plush armchair. “God dammit, helper, you know I didn't want this!”
The butler, a remarkably suave man looking to be in his forties, moved to attend his master. “I apologize, Jonah, but you did not ask me to prevent this.”
Jonah Corrigan sighed heavily, his anger having turned to despair. His body slumped back in the chair, and he looked up at the butler with wistful eyes. “It was all going so well. I was so happy, in the end. You could have convinced me to stay.”
“Yes, I could have,” admitted the butler. “But you had not asked me to do that, either.”
Jonah rose from his seat, stretching out his arms and legs. As always, the room looked the same as before. It was rather ancient affair, saturated with rich woods and opulent fabrics. He did not actually care for his countryside mansion; it had only been the first choice out of the many available presets. The same went for his ever-so-sophisticated butler helper.
Jonah Corrigan didn't care for anything here, really, not even his own mind.
He turned and faced the butler, who was standing at attention. “So,” he said, “my little experiment has failed. Did you know this would happen?”
“No, Jonah. The choice had been yours entirely.”
Jonah didn't need his helper to tell him this. He remembered what happened. But that didn't make it okay, not at all. “Well, I haven't changed my decision,” he declared bitterly. “Do it again. Use the exact same parameters as before.”
He paused for a moment, knowing that this was the single most important thing he would ever say. But he did not reconsider; he was certain. “And, this time, don't let me come back.”
The butler only nodded, gesturing for Jonah to return to the chair.
Jonah Corrigan did so, knowing full well how this worked. He laid back, allowing himself to relax, and immediately blacked out.
The AI began its work, performing the exact same operation as before. There was one tiny discrepancy, however, as Jonah Corrigan's personality and memories were deleted to conserve space.
_______
“...for both sun and moon, and harmony has been maintained in Equestria for generations since,” finished Twilight Sparkle.
“Hmm... Elements of Harmony...“ she mused. Twilight gazed up at the sky, lost in thought. “I know I've heard of those before... but where?“