On Her Mind

by JaketheGinger

First published

After the Fall Formal, Rarity can't help but think about how things have changed. Knowing that magic and portals to other worlds exist, her perspective on life has been forever changed. Luckily, a dose of Pinkie might just be the thing she needs

After the events of the Fall Formal, Rarity can't help but think about how things have changed. With the knowledge that magic and portals to other worlds exist, her perspective on life has been forever changed. And she can't stop dwelling on that. Luckily, a dose of Pinkie might just be the thing to help ease her fears.

On Her Mind

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She had become obsessed over it.

The statue of a magnificent stallion stood outside Canterlot High, the sun’s rays basking upon it, giving it a brilliant glow. Rarity stood there in its shadow, not even gazing upon the magnificent creature carved out of stone. Her eyes were locked onto its base.

She adjusted her backpack, the straps digging into her shoulders. Not that she cared, though. The world went by as she just watched the statue. The conversations of other students arriving to school became mere background noise.

A part of her knew that she should just walk away. Forget the blasted thing. Get on with her life. But her eyes were locked onto it. Even in a classroom, as long as she had line of sight to it, it wouldn’t escape the corners of her eyes. It was an invasion to her life.

A hand on her shoulder and a little shake snapped her out of it.

“C’mon, silly billy! We’re gonna be late for class!” Pinkie exclaimed. Normally her disregard for personal space left Rarity feeling a bit awkward, but this time it brought a sense of comfort.

“Yes. Of course,” Rarity said, blinking a few times before stepping away. She didn’t slow down, going on a one way course to the school’s entrance, brushing and bumping past people in her way.

“We’re not gonna be that late!” Pinkie cried, actually having to jog to catch up.

Rarity stopped outside the doors, her hand on the cold glass. She turned her head back. She didn’t see Pinkie. Only the statue.

Rarity beat all her friends to their usual lunchtime spot in the cafeteria. She developed a headache in class and asked if she could be excused to lunch early. Only after indulging in a little bit of her inner drama queen did the teacher relent.

Putting her white lunchbox on the table, she opened it up for find her Wednesday meal. She refused to let her parents make her lunch—or heaven forbid, her sister. Rarity made a different lunch for each weekday, variety being the spice of life. This time it was a nice salad sandwich, accompanied by yogurt and a chocolate bar; she liked to treat herself in the middle of the school week.

Her head still hurt, although it had lessened. She blamed the equations she had to do. It was almost impossible to have all her mind focused on two separate things. Her thoughts were still centered on that statue, and everything associated with it.

The Princess from another world. Her dog sidekick that could talk. Another whole realm just beyond a portal. Sunset Shimmer, her army and her horrible transformation. Her own transformations.


It was all real. Terrifyingly real.

Rarity gripped her sandwich until finger marks started to dent it. She took an automatic bite from it. It didn’t taste much of anything. Putting down the sandwich, she leaned back in her chair and sighed deeply.

Was Sunset Shimmer’s transformation her true form? Or was that magic affecting her entirety? Changing her, corrupting her. Rarity blamed it on the latter. She herself had changed, although she didn’t seem to be as ghastly. She was still her.

So that was something she’d managed to figure out at least: there was good magic and bad magic. The knowledge didn’t make her feel any better. Twilight had mentioned something about… the magic of friendship? It was almost laughable, how something so childish could change a person.

Rarity closed her eyes and rubbed her head.

“Math, right?” Pinkie said, sitting down opposite her. The two shared some of the same classes, if not the same exact timetable.

“Mhm,” Rarity duly responded. Then she opened her eyes suddenly and sat upright. “Sorry, darling. I was just… thinking.”

“School makes ya do that!” Pinkie opened up her lunchbox. “Math especially. It’s pretty sucky.” Pinkie rarely ate anything healthy. The most healthy thing she ever ate at lunch might have been a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The rest of it was just candy.

“Agreed,” Rarity said simply, taking another bite of her sandwich.

Not long after, the others came to the table. Rainbow Dash and Applejack brought down their trays with a clatter, while Fluttershy was more gentle.

“‘sup guys?” Dash asked, getting comfortable in her chair.

“Eatin’,” Pinkie said, sandwich in mouth.

Rarity winced. “Yes, quite…”

“Cool,” Rainbow replied, proceeding to absolutely devour her meal. Fluttershy moved her seat a little away.

Applejack just stared at Dash with a smirk. “Pretty excited for that soccer practice, huh?”

“You bet! Now that the Fall Formal is over, all the teams are gearing up for the Autumn Tournament. It’s the last chance we’ll get to play a season before winter hits, and then it’ll be too cold to play,” Dash explained. “And I don’t have much time left, so…” Dash stared at her tray, then gazed at all her friends. “See ya!” Grabbing the tray, she made a sprint for the exit, deftly dodging peeved students in her way.

“Um, wow,” Fluttershy said.

“She’s a go-getter, alright,” Applejack agreed.

“Totally!” Pinkie chirped excitedly. “I just know Dashie’s team is gonna win that tournament because...”

Rarity tuned out from the conversation, those thoughts pressing down on her again. The Fall Formal was supposed to be a happy occasion. It was, but it revealed too many questions with disturbing answers. The world had been big before that night, but now she felt like a single speck of dust in the vastness of the universe. Totally insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

She was so wrapped up in her own thoughts, that she had failed to take notice of the pink haired girl sitting opposite her. Pinkie had stopped talking by now, just staring at Rarity with intrigue. She didn’t say anything, but the gears in her head started turning and churning.

The harsh ringing of the bell signalled the end of another school day. Rarity was the last one out of her class, lacking the energy her schoolmates shared as they headed out of the classroom. Slowly, she walked to her locker, retrieving some of her personal effects she had stored in there to make her bag less heavy.

Dumping all her books and other items back in the bag, she slung it on her shoulders and set off homewards. She saw the statue through the glass doors, before she even so much as stepped outside. A deep frown made itself known on her features. She hated that statue, how it just wouldn’t leave. How that portal to that strange other world would always be there. How things even greater than her would always exist. How it had completely shattered her perception of the world.

Stepping outside, she took the leftmost path around the statue. If she walked right next to it, she might have actually hit the thing. She settled on glaring at it, the image almost burned into her mind by now when she had hit the streets.

Behind her, the sound of running footsteps. “Raaaaaaarityyyy!”

She stopped, looking behind her. Pinkie was running, her pink curly hair trailing behind her. Skidding to a stop, she gave Rarity a sincere smile. “Hiya. Wanna walk home together?”

Rarity raised a single brow. “But you live the other side of town from me.”

“Yep!” Pinkie replied cheerfully.

“So if you walked with me, you’d have to walk twice the distance to get back home, if not more,” Rarity clarified, frowning.

“Oh well!” Pinkie said, shrugging. “Looks like you could use a friend anyway.”

“Aah.” Rarity looked forward. The walk was roughly seven minutes, depending on how quick she was. She looked down at the grey sidewalk and started going. “Possibly.”

“Okey dokey.” Pinkie matched her friend’s pace, not taking her eyes off her. Rarity didn’t find it creepy, like some would. In fact, with Pinkie’s bright blue eyes, so full of hope, she found it a little endearing. “So what’s up?”

Rarity chewed her lips, mulling it over. “I’ve been thinking a lot, lately.”

“What about?”

“Everything,” Rarity answered.

Pinkie’s eyes went wide. “Whoooa… deep.”

Perhaps on another occasion, Rarity might have laughed at the oddity. “Not like that, darling. I’m well aware we all exist and such. But…” Sighing, she waved her hand dismissively. “It’s too much. You won’t understand.”

“But what if I do understand?”

“Then you would be able to deal with it far better than me. Maybe you already have.” Ignoring Pinkie’s confused looks, Rarity kept going. Sighing, she flicked a strand of hair out of her face. “Everything’s fine, really. I’m just being overdramatic, that’s all.”

“I dunno…” Pinkie stepped ahead of Rarity and started walking backwards, staring at the girl curiously. “I’ve seen OverdramaticRarity and this is definitely not OverdramaticRarity. You’re a lot quieter for starters.”

Frowning, Rarity gave her an incredulous snort. “I am not loud when I complain.”

“Didn’t you ring the school fire alarm once ‘cause Dashie accidentally spilled some tomato sauce on your dress?” Pinkie asked, with a single point, still keeping her pace despite walking backwards.

Rarity huffed, folding her arms defiantly. “Maybe I did overreact there, but something had to be done. It was a fashion or flunk situation.”

Pinkie stepped off the sidewalk onto a T-junction, her pace not even affected by the slight change in elevation. “And wasn’t there the time where you went to Celestia’s office because—”

Pinkie!” Rarity sprung forward, grabbing Pinkie’s shirt and pulling her back. The party girl was propelled forward with a yelp, as a car drove past where she was.

Rarity exhaled in relief, releasing Pinkie. Her hand trembled. “Pinkie! What have we told you about watching roads?!”

Pinkie shrank back, looking down. “Look left, then right, then do a double check. Then walk, don’t run, across the road.”

“Exactly,” Rarity curtly replied. “Do you know how many children are injured on roads each year because they didn’t pay attention?”

Pinkie nodded slightly.

“Now, you are going home, missy.” Rarity raised a finger, silencing Pinkie’s would-be objection. “No ifs, ands, or buts. You are walking back down there and getting home safely. Understand?”

“B—” Pinkie made a frustrated noise, having to stop and think for a few moments. “So you don’t wanna talk things through with me?”

“There’s nothing to discuss. I already said I was merely being melodramatic. I’ll be fine tomorrow.” Even if she felt a twist in her stomach, she lied anyway.

“Okay…” Pinkie’s shoulders slumped and with much effort, she reluctantly walked away. “Bye.”

“See you tomorrow, Pinkie.” Rarity couldn’t watch her go for long. It hurt, having to send her away like that. Unlike dear Fluttershy, who had her moments of weakness, seeing Pinkie act so down was almost alien to her. And it was all her fault.

She walked across the road, looking left and right, and headed on for home. Guilt had been added to the toxic mix of anxiety brewing in her head.

Rarity opened the front door to her humble abode. Well, it wasn’t entirely hers. More like her parents’, really. It was a modest home, with nothing particularly extravagant setting it apart from the other houses in the area.

She slipped off her boots and headed up the stairs. Both her parents wouldn’t be back from work until fairly late in the evening, as usual, so that left just herself and Sweetie Belle in the house. Rarity’s first port of call was to check in on her sister. She always gave her thirty minutes to get home before she called, unless Sweetie had texted her beforehand to inform Rarity about her after school plans.

The door Rarity approached was covered in stickers, including the typical ‘KEEP OUT, CRUSADER ZONE’ in bold pink letters. Rarity ignored the warning like she always did and opened the door, peeking into the room.

Sweetie’s room was smaller than her own, but it was cosy. Lavender carpeting covered the floor and the walls were white, but Sweetie had taken a stab at painting them herself. These things included drawings of animals that made Rarity cringe, and other things her friends had done, including handprints on the walls.

Sweetie sat at her desk, headphones strapped on. She stared at her computer, playing her favorite game. Admittedly, a game where you had to build and craft things for yourself in an open world intrigued Rarity, if she’d had the time to play it. It seemed like a bit of an investment.

“Argh!! Stupid monster!” Sweetie screamed, almost ready to flip up her desk in a bout of rage. Rarity smirked and closed the door, going to her own room.

Her bedroom was bigger and much more luxurious than her sister’s. Light pink carpeting was on the floor and a big, white doubled bed stood in the center. The windows on the leftmost wall had fine purple drapes and the ceiling even had a small chandelier, although it was electric. By far the most unique feature was the fact that Rarity’s wardrobe took up nearly all of the right wall.

Her room felt like a little piece away from the world. Now Rarity herself felt the same way, but for all the wrong reasons.

She sat herself down on her bed, grabbed her white laptop with the blue diamond symbol and opened it, booting up the machine. Time to check the her usual sites, be the social butterfly on the web. It was a perfect metaphor; she wasn’t addicted to it, but life without the internet would have been much more trying.

Pinkie was offline on her chat program. Rarity rubbed her face and decided to start typing, even if she wasn’t there.

I’m sorry for my frankly inexcusable behav—

She shook her head and mashed the backspace key.

I’m sorry for my behaviour towards you, Pinkie. You didn’t deserve it at all. The only thing I’ll say is that I’ve been under a lot of pressure lately, but that’s no excuse for letting my anxieties get the best of me and attacking you.

Rarity stared at the greyed out symbol that indicated Pinkie’s offline status. Only a few minutes later she realized she hadn’t sent the message yet.

We should talk soon, she added.

After sending her last message, she closed the laptop and went downstairs. Dinner had to be made and none of her family could be trusted to do that effectively. Especially Sweetie Belle. Even her usually laid back Father had agreed it was probably best to install another fire alarm upstairs just incase. Rarity had no idea chocolate milk could be set ablaze when near a stove.

Her mellow mood still hanging over her, she didn’t want to put a lot of effort into making a meal. It helped that her parents usually made something quick for themselves when they got back too. All she had to do was cook for herself and Sweetie, and they both liked spaghetti.

Rarity was making good progress when she heard the thump of footsteps on the stairs. Sweetie Belle went into the room, staring straight at the spaghetti.

“I’m hungry. When’s dinner ready?” Sweetie asked.

“Soon,” Rarity stated flatly, keeping focused on her work.

Sweetie poked her sister in the side. “How soon?”

Rarity held back a sigh. “I’m not sure yet. I’ll call you down when it’s ready, like I always do.” Sweetie groaned and began heading upstairs, when Rarity turned her head towards her. “Sweetie, wait!”

The girl poked her head through the doorway. “What?”

“Are you okay?” There was a pregnant pause between the two of them. “I mean, really okay?”

Sweetie stepped fully into the room, confused creases on her forehead. “Er… yeah. I’m feeling pretty good.”

“The recent…” Rarity let out a thoughtful hum. “Fall Formal incident didn’t bother you?”

“What?” Sweetie blinked. “No, not really. Everything got sorted out, didn’t it?” A bright smile appeared on her face. “Hey, you even saved the day with your…” She wiggled her fingers. “Weird powers.”

Rarity felt the urge to scratch her head, right where her ‘pony ears’ should’ve been. “Mmm.”

The smile faded from Sweetie, being replaced by yet more bafflement. “Why are you even asking me this anyways? It’s been, like, a week.”

“Really?” Rarity slipped, then pinched her side punishingly. “Time does fly by, doesn’t it?” She brought up her best smile. “Just wondered if you were feeling alright after all that. Lingering issues and all that, hm? But you look perfectly happy like normal, so that’s all I need.”

“Riiiight…” Sweetie put a hand on the door, giving Rarity a skeptical look. “Yell when dinner’s ready.”

“At the top of my lungs. Like a banshee, I know,” Rarity replied.

A small giggled escaped from Sweetie and she skipped upstairs, back to her room. Rarity couldn’t help but envy that; the pure innocence that seemed to pour out of her sister. The whole ‘almost-end-of-the-world’ fiasco had probably been a fun diversion from school studies for her.

Not everyone could have been thinking like that, surely. She can’t have been the only one being so paranoid. But the more she thought about it…

Pinkie Pie’s beautiful smile had never changed.

Applejack was still working hard at her farm.

Rainbow Dash was hyped up for the soccer season.

Fluttershy had surprisingly grown more confident after everything they had been through.

Even Sunset Shimmer was adjusting fairly well to things.

So why was she the only one with such pressure bearing down on her?

The timer went off with a harsh ding. Dinner had to be prepared and wouldn’t wait for anyone. Life went on, as it always did. And Rarity was getting dragged behind.

Rarity went into school through the back entrance this time. It made her journey slightly longer, but as long as she didn’t have to see that damnable statue.

It was just another school day, with all the work and conversations that went with it. The status quo had been restored long ago. Amazingly, the repairs to the front of the school had been done within a few days. Her friends had very much enjoyed the few days off they had after the whole event.

Not having to see the statue made her feel better, at least a little. It sent a shiver down her spine everytime she looked at it. Anything could’ve come out of there and not all things in the world were as nice as Twilight Sparkle.

Correction: Princess Twilight Sparkle.

Thankfully the day didn’t drag on for too long and the time for going home had arrived. Rarity slipped through the horde of students that were headed for the front entrance. The backdoors were just in sight when a gentle hand was placed on her shoulders. Exactly like yesterday.

“Pinkie…” Rarity said, before she had even looked at her.

“Hi,” Pinkie replied, along with a small smile. “Saw your messages. We gonna talk?”

Rarity swept a hand through her hair. “Yes, I suppose we should. I think I owe you an explanation after yesterday.”

The pair sat down in the stands at the soccer field. They were mostly alone, save for a few supporters of the team practicing down below. Rainbow Dash was there, but could only briefly wave to her friends, her time taken up by the training.

Rarity rested her head on her hands, staring at the orange streaked sky. “How do I begin?” she mulled quietly. “Hm… things have changed, Pinkie.”

Pinkie sat upright, her gaze never faltering. “They have?”

“Mhm. I’m talking about what happened at the Formal Fall,” Rarity explained, and Pinkie mouthed an ‘Ooooh’. “I can’t stop thinking about what took place there, and what it means for everything we know. Magic… it exists. It’s real and that unleashes a swarm of terrifying prospects and questions.”

“Like what?”

“Well for starters, who else could turn into a demon like Sunset did? What if there was someone out there, right now, taking control of this magic and uses it for nefarious ends?” Rarity straightened, her hands tightened on her skirt. “And there’s us. What even happened to us, Pinkie?”

“Simple!” Pinkie raised a finger, smiling brightly. “We grew extra ears and our hair got really long, then we kicked major bad guy butt and looked super good while doing it!”

Rarity shot her an unamused glare. “I’m serious. You don’t think any of that is a cause for concern? Any of it at all?” Pinkie shrugged weakly, but Rarity kept going, “And then there’s the fact that I have to deal with the prospect of other worlds.”

She released a staggered sigh, Pinkie quietly listening to her words. “Twilight wasn’t just any normal person. She was a pony. A magical pony Princess.” Rarity bit her lip, twirling a finger in her hair. “She’s used to these things. Magic, fighting evil—she didn’t show any signs of weakness despite stepping into a completely different world! And I’m… I’m not that at all. I don’t know what lies out there or how to deal with it. The world’s become drastically bigger now and I don’t know how to deal with that! I’m not a Princess, I’m just a student. Just a girl.”

Rarity found herself in Pinkie’s warm embrace, her arms wrapped around her, keeping her secure. She hadn’t even realised she was shaking.

“You’re scared, aren’t you?” Pinkie asked.

Rarity nodded shamefully, rubbing at an eye. Her vision began to blur.

“Hey, don’t feel bad about it,” Pinkie spoke softly, wiping at a tear that just managed to escape and trickle down Rarity’s cheek. “We all get moments where we don’t feel our hundred percent.”

“But everyone else is acting like nothing ever happened!” Rarity sniffled. “And right now I just feel so alone. It’s as if I’ve been separated from everyone else, as if they’re in the real world and I’m in some twisted version of it.”

Rarity hugged herself, leaning forward. “I’m not even sure I know how to phrase it to you. Imagine you’re in swimming pool. You were enjoying the shallow end, it felt warm. Secure. If something went wrong, you could just stand up and it’d be fine.”

“But for me, it’s…” She swallowed, feeling a cold bead of sweat roll down her face. “It’s not the shallow end anymore. It’s the deep end, and I can’t even see the bottom. The water’s freezing, trapping me. I can’t even see the sides anymore.”

Rarity tensed up, her fists trembling. “Sorry. That must sound so pretentious of me. I’m overreacting, aren’t I? Just being silly old Rarity. You don’t need to listen to this.”

“But I wanna listen,” Pinkie encouraged, her voice soft. “Stop being silly by saying you’re silly. Keep going.” There was a tiny pause. “Silly.”

Rarity nodded slightly. “I think I understand.” She took a deep breath before continuing. “You’re right, I am scared. Terribly. Sunset almost won, if it wasn’t for Twilight. So what if something worse comes along? What if they are more portals to other worlds? My eyes were opened at the Fall Formal, but I still don’t understand. And that’s terrifying to me.”

Rarity rubbed her arms. “And do you know what makes it worse? The feeling that I’m the only one thinking about this.” She looked away. “I wish I wasn’t.”

“I think everyone’s been thinking about this,” Pinkie admitted. “Well, maybe not everyone. I dunno, I can’t read minds. But I’ve been cranking out the ol’ Pink Think.” She tapped her head. “And, even though everything that happened was mega crazy, I’m feeling kinda good about it all.”

Rarity wiped her eyes, then looked at Pinkie. “H-How?”

“Because everything that we did, we did it together. We made it, we won, we beat the boss and saved the school—the world—no, two worlds!” Pinkie giggled sheepishly, then coughed and toned it down a notch. “We made it together and we’re still here now, aren’t we? We’re not just girls, silly, we’re friends. The very bestest of friends! And I think, now that we’re all back together again, the future’s looking pretty bright from here.”

Rarity’s mouth hung open for a bit as she took in everything Pinkie had said. “I suppose you’re right, but…what if something else happens? What if it’s worse?”

“I Pinkie Promise if that happens, I’ll stay by your side no matter what. We all will.” Even if she didn’t perform her usual motions, the promise was still just as sincere. If not more so, Pinkie locking her fingers with Rarity’s. “‘Cause I think we make one heck of a team.”

Rarity allowed herself a small smile, squeezing Pinkie’s hand. “Yes… maybe you’re right. We do.” She looked towards the brilliant sunset. “Things are back to normal now, and chances are they’ll remain so for quite a while.” She looked towards Pinkie, biting her lip. “Right?”

Pinkie nodded approvingly, alongside an encouraging smile.

“Right,” Rarity repeated. “Which is good news, since I don’t think I could stand to have my tailoring classes interrupted by the end of the world.” The delightful sound of Pinkie’s laughter graced her ears, making her smile in return. Pure relief and joy flooded her system and she went forward, hugging Pinkie and resting her head on her shoulder. “Thank you, Pinkie. I think I’ll be okay now, thanks to you.” The anxieties were still there, trapped within her mind. But now they were wrapped around a fabric of comfort, made only possible by the support and strength of her friends.

“Talk to the others, ‘kay?” Pinkie squeezed Rarity, rubbing her back gently. “They’re a lot smarter than I am, so they’ll probably have even better advice.”

“Darling…” Rarity pulled back, lightly stroking Pinkie’s cheek. “Don’t put yourself down like that. Sometimes things don’t have to be logical. Sometimes you just need a little heart.” Rarity pointed at the heart on Pinkie’s chest. “I think you taught me a valuable lesson today.”

“Aaaw, shucks…” It was hard to spot, but even darker spots of pink had appeared on her cheeks.

“Don’t let anyone put you down. You’re one of my best friends, and…” Rarity shuffled in place. “I did miss the energy and joy you brought to the group.”

Rarity found herself in a bone crushing hug that she found awkward to breathe in. “Y-Yes… I did miss these too…” she choked.

“I missed you too!” Pinkie cried, nuzzling the crook of Rarity’s neck. It was an odd gesture, but a comforting one all the same.

A vibration in Rarity’s bag unfortunately cut the moment short. Carefully, she nudged Pinkie, who let go of her. Diving into her bag, she got out her phone, frowning as she read the text from Sweetie Belle. “Hmph. My sister’s wondering where I am. I suppose that means I should get going.” Putting the phone back in her bag, she put it on her shoulders and stood up.

“Hey,” Pinkie started, standing up with her. “Want me to walk you home?”

Rarity let out a small chortle. “If you want to, I’ll happily accept.” She held out her hand. “Let’s go.”

Pinkie took hold of her and the pair walked in tandem, going through the school and coming through the front entrance, smiles on their faces. They went past the statue, which Rarity couldn’t help but look at.

“Hm… that really is a rather magnificent stallion, isn’t it?” Rarity mused.