Shining Armor hates his wife now. Big Macintosh loves Shining Armor. Shining Armor is a hypocritic dumby. Will it work?
Big Macintosh was just working on some shelves in the library when an unexpected knock has him finding the stallion of his dreams. Read to see what happens when he is at his darkest moments when the one he loves hurts him. Will Cadence strike revenge on the wrong pony just to hurt another worse. Find out soon. Artwork by NeonStreaksNS anyone who likes my little pony art go to him he draws amazing pics.His page is this and also his commisions are not costly and easy to afford : neonstreaksns.deviantart.com M/M CLOPFIC Grammar will be fixed when my computer is fixed.
Cadence awoke to a shuffling sound of papers in the office her and her husband shared. She got up and slowly made her way across the floor to find her husband looking through drawers of official documents.
"Shiny baby why are you up so late in the night?" Cadence said as she moved next to the stallion whose eyes were bloodshot.
"Cadence I've been thinking really hard... I want a divorce. I'm sorry but I can't take this whole you living forever and me dying as you have all whatever amount of life you crazy alicorns live. I found gray hairs!! GRAY HAIRS CADENCE!!!" Shining Armor yelled as he pulled some of his mane out.
"Shiny you seem tired and stressed you don't really mean this do you?" Cadence said as her smile dropped to a sad knowing smile. "After all you haven't been able to see me in a while and its bound to have gotten you stressed to the max."
" HA!!! HAHAHAHA!!!! DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH!!! YOU HAVEN'T BEEN HOME ON TIME ANY NIGHT!!!! SHOOT TONIGHT I WENT TO BED AND AROUND MIDNIGHT YOU FINALLY CRAWL INTO BED!!!" Shining said as he found the divorce papers. "Matter if fact you wanted a damn foal so bad yet the reason its been a year and you ain't bucking pregnant is because your never home!!! Now sign the damn papers!!!" He said as he slammed the thick document on the desk.
"Fine... if you want this that bad go ahead but one thing!!! You find someone you love it better be for real love and not lust!! That's right you find a new love it better be for love and not their body that also means no sex until married!!" Cadence said as she grabbed a quill.
"fine." Shining said. "fine." Said Cadence
"fine!" "FINE"
"FINE!!!" Shining said as he pointed to the paper.
The deal was done. Later that day shining armor caught a train to pony ville hoping his sister could help him on the hunt for a new mate. Finally arriving he knocked on the door to the library to find a red stallion answer the door.
" 'Ello?" The red steed said as he looked at the confused unicorn.
"U-uh um d-doesnt my sister live here? T-twilight Sparkle?" Shining said as he was both wondering who the stallion was and whether or not he needed to set some ground rules for dating his sister.
"EEYUP" The stallion bellowed as he opened the door wider for shining to come inside.
"So um square you dating my sister by any chance Mr...?"
"Names Macintosh a-and no sir your sister is s-single..." Mac said in a blush hidden by his red coat keeping shining from noticing it.
"Nice to meet you Macintosh names Shining Armor." He said as he bowed politely causing Macintosh to blush even redder luckily to be distracted by a squeal from a certain purple unicorn.
"BBBFF!!!" Twilight screamed as she teleported from the top of the steps to between Mac and her brother.
"Hey Twily sorry for such short notice but me and cadence are no longer married. We had a falling out and decided we would best live happier with those like ourselves. You know mortal and immortal..." Shining said as he let go of his sister.
"Wow shining that's horrible... well I'm here to help you find a date then!!" Twilight said as she fired up her magic computer which was a must now a days.
"Your not upset?" Shining said as he walked to his sister leaving Mac to watch from afar and continue fixing her shelves.
A few hours later Mac finished the book shelves and talked to twilight.
"Twilight ah uh... ah found some termite damage and um m-maybe if you don't mind... ah could ask you and your brother to step out for a bit tomorrow as ah fumigate this here structure?" Mac said as he looked towards Shining who was too busy looking for dates. Mac looked a little longer as he saw those blue eyes scan so many profiles finally coming to as a purple hoof tapped his shoulder.
"Of course Mac as long as it helps the library I don't mind at all." Twilight said as she went to retrieve her bits.
"HA!! FUCKING QUEER HELL NO WOULD I GO ON A DATE!!" Shining said as he talked about some stallion looking for love only to shock Mac into a quick retreat before he said or felt something he wish he didn't want to get or feel.
"Hey brother... where did Mac go?" Twilight said as she held the bits in her hooves.
"Eh beats me he probably went to go molest children... " Shining said seriously. "Haha sniff sniff oh I smell children near uh huh huh." He was stopped by a purple hoof flying faster than a cannon in his face.
"BBBFF!!! MAC IS NOT LIKE THAT!!! HE IS A WONDERFUL CARING STALLION WITH A HEART OF GOLD!!!" Twilight said as she unplugged the computer. "What ever in Equestria made you say that?"
"I don't know Twily its just he's so quiet unlike other ponies you know?" Shining said as he rubbed his face. "He just left quickly and silently I call that free labor."
"Ugh just stay here and be nice to visiting ponies who just want books..." Twilight said as she got her saddle bags and left for the farm.
Mac just arrived at the farm luckily noticing Applejack took apples to the market today as he strolled up to his room to pull out his favorite doll he kept from a want it need it spell a certain purple unicorn used on it.
"Smarty Pants you won't believe it but... ah think ah have a crush... no I'm falling in love with somepony!! H-his name is Shining armor... he's Twilight's brother he's cute and courteous. Problem is he seems to not like gay fellas like me... what do ah do smarty?" Mac said as nothing but silence came from the doll. "Ah know I'll write him little love letters and flowers... I do have those rare flowers I like to grow... maybe he would like them too." Mac said as he wrote his first letter.
Dear Shining Armor,
You don't know me well and we never talked before but I like you and was wondering if you could meet me at the apple stand tomorrow so that we may talk or at least possibly go out for drinks.
Sincerely,
A secret Admirer
P.S. I think your very courteous.
Mac sealed the note after writing it on a piece of paper from Applejacks desk and an envelope as well. Just in time to hear a knock on the door.
"Howdy do?" Mac said as he opened the door. "Oh Miss Sparkle I'm sorry I left early... I uh h-had previous engagements..."
"Don't worry Mac its perfectly fine." Twilight said as she handed Mac the bits. "If my brother says anything horrible about you to you please let me know... he's kinda judgmental. I hope you don't mind fumigating tomorrow?"
"Eeyup miss Sparkle not a problem!" Mac said as he took the bits. "See ya tomorrow then"
after twilight left news got out on the television that former prince Shining Armor was in town as hopes of delivering the note tomorrow would be hectic.
The next day Mac came to the library to fumigate only to find a forcefield and a note attached to it.
Dear Mac, When you get this message my brother and I are stuck here inside till the fan mail is finished. Unfortunately I will not be able to get it fumigated until this weekend sorry.
Sincerely yours, Twilight.
Mac was determined to get his flower and note to the door as he tested the force fields strength slaming his body into it like a hoofball player he stop feeling his sore shoulder. For this Mac decided to dig his way under and to that door. Finally after tunneling for three hours Mac surfaced on the inside as he looked around him. Mac quickly dropped the letter and flower at the door step and fled as he got back in the hole and covered it as he heard a stallion say "good grief a note and flower again.... wait Twilight this flower is rare... " Shining said as he inspected the flower slowly. The flower was a rare blue and white rose that Mac had been growing for months after finally adding the right pollen mixture to make it bloom as so.
Twilight came and saw the flower agreeing as they both went inside while Mac climbed through the tunnel to get out. "My question brother is how they got past the forcefield?" Twilight said as she shut the door.
"Hey Twily you know your friend applejack?" Shining said out of nowhere as he read the note.
"Yeah of course I do why?" Twilight said perplexed "Did she send the letter and flower?"
"I guess she wrote secret admirer..." shining said as he looked back at the letter again. "...but the paper it was written on says 'From the desk of Applejack'... its kinda funny. Oh and she says I'm courteous too! Hehe I wouldn't mind dating that fine country mare... matter of fact I can't wait tomorrow."
The next day began as Mac eagerly got the apple cart and ran to town to sell some apples before he would go on his date with Shining. What he didn't know was he left the money box.
Twilight awoke to the smell of hay bacon frying in vegetable oil sending the delicious smell of food to her awaken belly as it rumbled. "Perfect hay bacon my favorite!! I also can't believe Shining is cooking either!" Twilight said as she trotted down the steps and into the kitchen.
"Morning sis!!" Shining said as he tended to the breakfast. " I made you hay bacon your favorite!! I can't hardly stand waiting to see that mare friend of yours Applejack. Hopefully she ain't like her child molesting brother." He said as a piece of hay bacon hit him square in the nose.
"Shining Armor I'm going to say this and I'm only going to say this once. Big Macintosh is not a child molester. He was busy with other errands. He's a busy farmer who has a good heart. Most ponies would charge me three times the amount for fixing things in this library but all he charges is the price of a box of nails and that's it. His parents died when Apple bloom was born and he was the major support in the family. Not to mention with granny smith being as old as she is he has to take over the finances and everything. He is an honestly good stallion who was dealt the worst hoof in life and yet still plays that hoof and some how breaks even. I don't care what you think but I know that stallion would never touch a foal or filly like that ever. Not to mention when applejack took a bath she would bathe applebloom because he didn't want to touch fillies that way just to clean. Diapers applejack had to do because he didn't want to mess up and hurt the filly because he is sensitive something most ponies aren't nowadays."
"Sensitive huh? Stallions who are sensitive are basically queer or a closet case..." Shining said as he chewed his bacon. "Plus he is a recluse I mean did you see the way he practically got nervous around people?"
"Shining he is nervous because that is who he is. He never talks to ponies much because he is too busy working plus he's shy which makes him even more sensitive but it doesn't mean he's gay." Twilight said. "Plus he probably isn't gay cause Cheerilee and him have dates I think kinda like picnics."
"Oh good cover... face it twilight I just don't like the guy he's creepy I just hope his sister ain't the same way." Shining said as he finished his bacon. "Well I'm heading to town to spend some time with my date!! Tell spike I'll play hoof ball with him later."
Shining headed to town to the market as a busy Macintosh was trying to keep bits together. Luckily his sister applejack happened to bring the box with her.
"Missing somethin' partner?" Applejack said as she put the box on the counter. "You never usually leave so fast an early somethin up Mac?"
"Eeyup I got me a date hopefully..." Mac said as he saw the stallion stroll up slowly as Mac waved his hoof to catch his attention. "I might need you to..."
"HEY THERE APPLEJACK!!! Hehe what's a mighty fine saddle bag you got there... you won't need that where we are going." Shining said as he trotted up and took her saddle bag off. " I'm taking you out for coffee a movie and a dinner. Oh Mac I'll have her home before sunrise!"
"Uh shining..... on then well by Brother watch the stand good!" Applejack said as Mac couldn't believe his eyes and ears as Shining armor whisked his sister away in his hooves and probably mount her the same night.
"Eeyup" said Mac weakly and almost.as a whisper. As he put the sign on the stand for closed as he walked to the library with his fumigation tank.
Mac finally made it there as he walked to the door knocking three times until it opened.
"Oh Mac that's right the fumigation come on in... are you OK?" Twilight said as she anylized the stallions undeniable expression of emotional pain.
"EENOPE!!!" Mac said as he fell to the floor crying. "Oh my gosh Mac its OK tell me what happened!" Twilight said as she lifted the poor stallions head in her hooves to wile away the tears.
"Your b-brother.... h-he's on a date with my sister....*sniffle*" Twilight looked confused.
"Of course he is she sent him a note saying she was interested but silly filly put secret admirer without thinking that her name was on the top of the paper. What does this have to do with them?" Twilight said as she wiped the streams of tears from the poor stallions face.
"I WROTE THAT LETTER!!!" Mac said as he felt defeated from the heart ache. "I wrote it because of all the stallions I ever met he was the only one to be courteous and kind. But I was hoping after I heard what he said that maybe he would change his mind about us colt cuddlers."
Twilight smiled weirdly at first as she put a hoof to Macs mouth to quiet him. "It was a simple mistake and to be honest Mac you would probably have a better chance than applejack. My brother is a hypocrite. Come with me." Twilight said as she lead him to the guest room. "Look at this and tell me what you think my brother likes more of." Twilight said as she reached into his suitcase at the bottom and pulled out a stallions monthly with a certain Blueblood showing intimate parts with a bell hop. "See?"
"Twilight it doesn't mean he will love me. Those magazines are for those who only want sex in a relationship and the way he sounded he was ready to mount my sis. He is a sex addict and love I want to give is not what he desires." Mac said as he walked out of the room and out the door to the farm. Meanwhile on the coffee date.
"So you think I'm courteous huh?" Shining said as he winked at Applejack across the table.
"Eh kinda but I won't gonna say... why?" Applejack said as she sipped her iced coffee.
"Well you put it in your letter and thanks for the nice beautiful blue and white rose." Shining said as he took out the rose and letter. "See. Right there is where you put it."
"What?" Applejack said as she saw her brothers hoof writing clearly. "I didn't right that and we aren't supposed to be having this date."
"Well if you didn't write it who did?!" Shining said as he looked over the perfect calligraphy. "This is like a mares handwriting!!"
"My brothers marish hand writing." Applejack said as she pointed to the perfection. "See my brother always makes a swirl on the S's."
Shining armor took the those and looked at the letter. "Your brother did this?" He looked at the rose. "And he got this?!" Shining Armor practically ripped the letter into pieces. "I knew he was a faggot!!!" He ran towards the library as he left applejack there.
"Poor Mac. He never has luck with any pony." Apple jack said as She picked up the rose and cantered off to the farm.
Mac was out back working on something diligently as he heard his sister come towards him. "Mac we need to talk."Apple jack said as she looked at the sculpture of the same blue maned stallion who ran off not too long ago. "Mac what are you doing?"
"I figured if Shining armor won't like me but likes you.... at least he can be happy with a wedding present from me." Mac said as tears streamed down his face. "It hurts Applejack... I find a stallion with good manners and a courteous side and I can't even ask him on a date right. NOT TO EVEN MENTION HE'S ALREADY PROBABLY GOTTEN YOU PREGNANT!!" At this Mac fell on the sculpture as it held him up. "All I ever wanted was a mate to love me. All I ever wanted was to show him I'm not like other colt cuddlers. I was gonna love him AJ but instead I find out he only wants sex with any living thing but prefers mares to marry. I hope your haply carrying his foal cause I am. I'll be happy as I babysit that foal knowing your both happy and healthy even if it kills me. I want you to be happy I want every pony to be happy but I c-can't I just can't make something so selfish of me to happen."
Applejack quietly lifted her brother off of the sculpture he made and held him close. "Brother... I know its hard but I ain't gonna have a foal cause we didn't get that far. There is still a chance but you know what forget a stallion like him he's nothing but a pig. Your talents are better spent on someone who truly cares whether or not you genetically altered a rose to turn blue and white to match a stallions color and a perfect sculpture of a pony because you want to make them know you love them no matter what. All I can say is you need to take it slow for some reason your heart is too hyper to listen to your head. Now come in let's just get you inside to rest." Applejack said as she brought her brother inside for a nap not noticing a pink figure saunter out of the barn doors and take flight laughing the whole time.
Later after Mac fell asleep Applejack decided to pay shining a visit as she loaded up the proportional sculpture of Shining armor in a cart. "Its time some pony apologizes for his conduct and misbehavior..." applejack said as she headed towards the library.
