Chapter 1: What rough beast approaches Ponyville
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Cafe Mocha sat in the middle of a large flower garden. While she had been outdoors a few times before, she had never experienced anything like this. She lacked the words to even begin to describe what she was feeling, the sheer joy of it all. The flowers, the soil, the smell of earth and flora filling her nose, it was overwhelming and it spoke to something deep inside of her. She supposed that it was her earth pony nature, something she did not yet understand.
Bon Mot was nearby, reading a book, as Bon Mot was wont to do, and Betelgeuse stood nearby, balanced on one hoof, standing upon a fence post, being an annoying show off. They didn’t understand. Cafe Mocha settled herself into the dirt a little more, squirming her legs folded under her, pressing her hands into the soil and wiggling her fingers.
Ponyville was still a little spooked by them. All of them. Betelgeuse took a perverse delight in scaring them. Cafe Mocha felt a little bad about all of the spooked ponies. She raised her head, looking around. Buttermilk was reading a magazine and reclining in a chair on the porch. Rhubarb was still in the kitchen, probably fixing a meal.
“Hi.” squeaked a small voice.
Cafe Mocha turned, seeing a pink mare with golden hair. She had a lily in her mane. She smiled, carefully, not wanting to actually spook anypony.
“My name is Lily Valley. I hope you are enjoying the garden.” The pink mare said, nodding, smiling faintly, a faint hint of fear visible.
Cafe Mocha rose to her hooves and brushed dirt off from her pelt. “Hi.” She said, waving a hand. She saw fear and felt her heart sink a bit.
“You’re our neighbor.” Lily said.
Cafe Mocha nodded. She pointed. “That’s Betelgeuse.” She pointed again. “And that’s Bon Mot.”
Lily nodded.
Cafe Mocha smiled shyly.
“You are very different.” Lily said.
“I’m a centaur.” Cafe Mocha replied.
“I was told about you, before you came here. When the other half of our townhouse was first rented. And Derpy told me all about you as well. Dinky thinks very highly of you.” Lily said, her tone still cautious.
“Dinky is my friend.” Cafe Mocha said.
Lily smiled broadly and spoke; “The three of us…” she paused, looking thoughtful for a moment, carefully choosing her words, “the three of us, my roommates and I, we have a foal that we are raising together. His name is Butterbean. And he’ll be home from school soon. He’s Dinky’s friend as well.”
“Three of you?” Cafe Mocha said, her face scrunched with curiousity.
“Well, there is Daisy, Roseluck, and myself. We’re… Roommates.”
“Oh.” Said Cafe Mocha innocently. “Sometimes, I think Rhubarb and Buttermilk are roommates. But they get flustered and weird if I bring it up.”
“Oh. Oh my. Oh, uh…” Lily’s words died and she blushed deeply.
“It is okay really. I know all about biology. I’ve paid attention in my science classes. What you are doing is perfectly normal and nothing to be ashamed of.” Cafe Mocha said.
“I see.” Lily said, still blushing, her entire body looking a bit more pink than usual.
“Watch out for Bon Mot.” Cafe Mocha warned. “She’ll ask embarrassing questions. Like she does Buttermilk.”
“Embarrassing questions?” Lily asked, slightly confused.
“Like how to milk a minotaur.” Cafe Mocha said, rolling her eyes slightly. “I mean, come on, everypony knows that. Bon Mot is just being silly.”
Lily nodded, not knowing, not sure if she wanted to know.
Bon Mot, hearing her name, carefully pranced through the garden, coming over to introduce herself. “Hi!” She said. “I’m Bon Mot.”
Lily nodded. “My name is Lily.”
“I know.” Bon Mot said. “And there is Daisy and Roseluck. I actually listened when Rhubarb gave us this information, unlike the numbskull and the brute.”
“Snob.” Cafe Mocha said.
Bon Mot stuck out her tongue at her sister, causing Lily to giggle.
“Do you like my garden?” Lily asked.
“It is alright.” Bon Mot said.
“I love your garden.” Cafe Mocha blurted. “I could spend all day out here.”
“Earth ponies.” Bon Mot said, rolling her eyes. She flicked her ears and winked away, vanishing with a pop. She reappeared a few feet away, looking surprised and more than a little confused. “Ouch. I did it again!” She shouted.
Buttermilk looked up from her magazine and smiled at Bon Mot for a moment, and then went back to reading.
“My sister is weird.” Cafe Mocha said. “Both of them actually.”
“They’re not so bad.” Lily said.
“You do not know Betelgeuse. Give her time to be… Betelgeuse.” Cafe Mocha said.
“Are you going to go to school?” Lily asked.
“Yes.” Cafe Mocha said. “We’ll be starting soon. There is so much we don’t know and I am so eager to learn.”
“You seem smart.” Lily said.
“I’m the stupid one.” Cafe Mocha said sadly. “Both of my sisters are smarter. It’s been scientifically tested. I’m the numbskull earth pony.”
“There’s more to life than being smart.” Lily said.
“Like what?” Cafe Mocha said. “I was told that IQ is everything.”
“Well, being kind. Loving others. Leaving the world a better place than you found it. Planting gardens. Growing green things. Making the world beautiful. All of those things matter.” Lily said patiently, warming up to the earth centaur filly.
“Aw, thank you!” Cafe Mocha said, lunging forward suddenly and sweeping Lily up in a hug. Lily found herself lifted completely off of her hooves, being swung through the air, two strange arms around her barrel. It was an odd situation. She was set back down gently. “Sorry.” Cafe Mocha said. “I’m not supposed to pick ponies up and hug them.”
“That’s okay.” Lily said, finding her smile again. “You can hug me anytime that you’d like.”
Lily found herself swept up in another hug, being swung around in a circle. The horizon danced crazily as she was swung up and down. And then as suddenly as it had started, she was back on her hooves, wobbling slightly.
“I think I’ve made my first friend.” Cafe Mocha said. “I have an objective to make friends.” She explained.
Lily felt her heart melt slightly. The odd creature was certainly friendly. “I would be glad to be your friend.” Lily said, smiling. “It was nice meeting you neighbor.”
Chapter 2: Mare Anarchy is Loosed Upon the World
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Betelgeuse stood in the middle of a copse of trees, in a forest called the Everwood. She had snuck off, it wasn’t hard to do, away from Rhubarb and Buttermilk, away from her sisters, and was now out spending some time by herself.
And it was wonderful.
She had heard stories that the Everfree was dangerous, and she was forbidden from going there, blah blah blah.
The wood really seemed quite pleasant, all things considered. Sure, it was dark, and it was shadowy, and things lumbered between the trees, but it was full of beauty and nothing had molested her thus far. Birds were chirping, large spiders scurried, catching the chirping birds in webbing and saving them for later… The wood was full of beauty.
The flapped her wings in excited delight, feeling light on her hooves as she did so, and clapped her hands together in glee.
She trotted forward, leaping over a log, kicking old leaves as she landed, and her finger slowly found its way to her nose. She continued forward, digging in one nostril thoughtfully, self probing, and taking in all the woods had to offer.
She absentmindedly wiped a booger on a tree as she went past.
“Perhaps this is what Cafe Mocha feels in that silly garden.” Betelgeuse said aloud to nopony in particular. She watched a metre wide spider dragging in a bird. She waved, smiling, her head bobbing with excitement.
Bon Mot had her books and the entire Ponyville library, Cafe Mocha had her garden, and Betelgeuse wasn’t sure what she had. She had not yet found her place, but she was liking it here.
Eventually, she came upon a muddy swampy area, the air a foul miasma, and mud squished under her hooves. Frogs croaked all around. Bugs buzzed. Betelgeuse felt enchanted. She drank in the scenery of everything around her, her eyes wide, her mouth open.
Bubbles rose from the water. Betelgeuse watched the bubbles, feeling an odd tingle in her spine and neck. More bubbles bubbled, bubbling alarmingly.
Betelgeuse suddenly felt it was a very good idea to go home. Perhaps do a little reading. Maybe play a game with Buttermilk. Distract Dinky. Bother Butterbean. Maybe go hug her sisters and tell them they were great.
There was a roar.
Something, something large, shot out of the water. Long and lizard like. Betelgeuse knew it from her monster compendium textbook. Cragodile!
Betelgeuse turned tail and ran, wings flapping.
Betelgeuse prided herself on her speed. She had been tested, and she could run faster on open ground than some pegasi could fly. The difficulty here being, she was not on open ground. She tore through through the brambles and bushes, leapt over logs, her hooves pounding, arms pumping back and forth.
Jaws snapped behind her, taking a few tail hairs. Ouch!
The cragodile was fast. Maybe faster. It had speed and momentum and could crash through the woods in a way that Betelgeuse could not.
“Oh fudge!” Betelgeuse swore, charging forward.
“Grrrrrrraaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwrrrrrrrrr!” The cragodile replied, his jaws snapping shut just inches away from Betelgeuse’s plot.
“I need an adult!” Betelgeuse said. “You’re not supposed to touch a filly in her under the tail area!” She scolded. “And no eating a filly’s plot no matter how delicious her delectable behind might be!”
She jumped over a log, the cragodile simply smashed through it. The thrashing of its tail ripped a tree in half, making it fall over with a crash.
Betelgeuse kept running, not pausing in the slightest to watch the falling tree.
She ran, her hooves thudding against the earth, her wings flapping, wishing she could fly, leaping and bounding from place to place, not running in a straight line. The cragodile was faster. As she ran forward, she saw a massive fallen tree ahead of her, and she moved towards it hoping it would slow the cragodile down.
Her plan had a flaw though. Ahead of her, on top of the massive log she planned to take a flying leap over, was a tiny woodland mammal. Black. White. Striped. Tiny. It stared, eyes wide open, frozen in terror, as two weird creatures charged towards it, forever changing its outlook on life and the world around it.
A little skunk. She didn’t want the skunk hurt.
It was too late. She was committed to the plan. The cragodile was too close. She lept.
She cleared the log, her wings flapping wildly, and, as she did so, she reached down and snatched the skunk with both hands, pulling the small animal up, cradling it to her chest, her wings still flapping, and she soared over the log.
She landed, her hooves skidding, and resumed running. Behind her, she heard the log explode into splinters as the cragodile slammed into it.
“Hi!” She said to her armful of woodland mammal, hugging it close, thankful it had not sprayed her. “I’m Betelgeuse.” She said, introducing herself. “And that’s a cragodile. We’re not friends.”
Ahead of her was the edge of the wood, and beyond that, the edges of Ponyville.
Betelgeuse began shouting at the top of her lungs hoping somepony would hear her.
Elsewhere, within Ponyville, Buttermilk was playing checkers with Daisy. Buttermilk liked playing checkers with Daisy, because Buttermilk stood a chance of winning. Rhubarb was a bit too smug and smart, and the three centaur foals were checker champions, playing games against one another that took hours, as they weighed each available move.
Daisy was a good neighbor.
Derpy sat nearby, sitting on the grass with Dinky and Cafe Mocha, they were blowing bubbles, their usual pastime, and not too far away, Butterbean and Bon Mot were playing tic tac toe in the dirt. Rhubarb was indoors, writing a report to send to Luna.
Buttermilk was slightly worried about Betelgeuse, but Betelgeuse could take care of herself. Most of the time. She had already discovered Sugarcube Corner, and Buttermilk supposed that she was probably there now.
Daisy made seven consecutive jumps with a checker, causing Buttermilk to scowl.
“Crown me!” Daisy crowed.
Buttermilk thought about crowing her alright. Right over the head. She carefully crowned Daisy’s checker, grumbling.
In the distance, a bell rang.
Derpy responded first, upon hearing the bell. “Trouble!” She said, looking a little alarmed.
Buttermilk froze. Trouble. And a missing Betelgeuse. No, surely there was no cause for alarm.
Derpy was suddenly airborne, flapping away somewhat clumsily.
“Daisy, mind watching the foals?” Buttermilk said, feeling worried. “Rhubarb is inside. Make sure everypony stays indoors.”
“Not at all, I love these foals!” Daisy replied.
“Foals, inside, now.” Buttermilk commanded, taking to the air. Daisy herded the foals indoors, silencing protests, gently pushing when she had to.
Buttermilk flew after Derpy, easily overtaking the grey mare, her sharp eyes scanning the horizon. She saw a herd of stampeding ponies in the distance.
That did not bode well.
The sound hit her first, the cacophony of many hooves thudding against the earth, the panicked screams, a distant roar.
“Derpy! We need to move!” Buttermilk shouted. She sped off.
Derpy picked up the pace as best she could, struggling to keep up with Buttermilk. Buttermilk flew back to Derpy, looking terrified.
“I see Betelgeuse. She running with the rest of the stampede. Think you can snatch her and fly away with her?” Buttermilk said, panicking.
“Yeah!” Derpy said. “I carry packages for a living. I’m used to flying under a load.”
“Good.” Buttermilk said. “Excuse me, I have to go pick a fight with something messing with my foal.” She sped off, leaving a white streaky contrail from her extreme speed.
Derpy swooped down, flying low over the crowd, seeing several foals. She couldn’t save them all. She flew low, her wings pumping, and she hooked her forelegs under Betelgeuse’s armpits. Derpy heaved, lifted Betelgeuse from the stampede.
They gained altitude, Derpy being a strong flyer, not a fast flier, and that was when Derpy noticed the skunk.
She very nearly dropped her precious cargo.
“Thats a skunk!” Derpy exclaimed in alarm. “Skunk!” She repeated, such was her concern.
“I know!” Betelgeuse panted, dangling, her long body hanging down. She felt a lot of pressure on her hinge, the place where her human half met her pony half. It hurt a bit. “I made a new friend!”
Derpy nodded, her forelegs beginning to ache. She headed for a shallow angled roof.
Buttermilk meanwhile had landed in the middle of the herd. As the ponies panicked around her, she stood her ground. The herd passed, leaving her alone, the cragodile bearing down upon her.
She took to the air once again, flitting around the creature, dodging its chomping slavering jaws, staying just out of reach and keeping it occupied.
She noticed six other mares approaching, including Twilight Sparkle.
Cavalry had arrived, Buttermilk reflected privately. She zigzagged, dodging an incoming bite, punching the cragodile in the snoot with her hoof. It did absolutely nothing at all to the creature, but Buttermilk felt better.
The cragodile thrashed its tail, causing a building to crumble.
“Get out of here!” Twilight shouted. “Get to safety!”
Buttermilk pondered her options. The Elements of Harmony had arrived. Professional heroes. Buttermilk fled, while the getting was good. She scanned the area, looking for Derpy and Betelgeuse, her most pressing concerns.
After depositing Betelgeuse, Derpy had rescued several other foals from the stampede and had placed them upon the roof. Other pegasi had joined the effort and now, there was a herd on the roof.
Many pegasi had been in the stampede, most of them so scared that they had forgotten they could fly.
Anarchy had descended upon Ponyville, all because of a curious foal.
