The Ballad of the Last Arch-Magus
After Thomas Babington Macaulay
I
The Stag King in ascension
In chains all minds did lock,
Enslaved the wills of males
With the foolish crystal cock.
Upon the fair Equestria
He laid his filthy hand,
And tore the lasting peace
From out that lovely land
II
The Heartless Hind1 commanded
The lesser stags to fly
To bring the darkest hearts
In array below his eye.
From out the tainted Empire
They went and wrought their woe:
Below the heartless hoof of hate
The many lands did go.
III
South and east and west around
The darkened message flows.
It reaches twisted minds along
And most dare not oppose.
Village, town and city
None spared the curséd blot.
The pervert horde marches forth
To conquer Canterlot.2
IV
And yet in all the madness
Not only darkness reigns:
Of the noble in Equestria
A core of good remains.
Where magic hath disturbance,3
Where not the crystal glows,
Where came not shriek of hatred
There stood the Stag King's foes.
V
In many crystal caverns,
Below the soil deep,
Dog scientist and scholar
Could little more than weep.
Deep within the mountain4
Changelings sheltered well
Escaped from Canterlot's fall
With many woes to tell.
VI
By distance and lost focus
Were the griffin aeries spared,
As well by all the zebras
The curse went on unshared.
Though Equestria was focal,
By some it was not felt,
Those fortunate, in some sense,
Were full protection dealt.
VII
No clinks of gem or metal
Any longer sound.
“Love” is no longer spoken
Where once it was renowned.
Protected, but imperiled,
Away the spared one's flee;
'Twas not in fear fled they:
There was death in bravery.
VIII
Adrift on winds of Fortune,5
Within the Harlot's Wheel,6
The Black Knight carried magic
No mere Hind could seal;
Within the Mountain prison,7
Inside the damping stone,8
The General,9 Arch-Magus,
Had defense of his own.
IX
Rumor passes lips and tongue
And reaches eager ears.
The free use word to gather;
It irks the Hind, who hears.
He does not know the reason
(For the Stag King is a fool)
He only knows that some
Defy his crystal tool.
X
By guile of the Black Knight
And Arch-Magus' grand wit
Gathered up the free ones
To a place for them more fit.
To the hidden place they wandered,
The secret of Moon and Sun,
The repository of Danger:
Paddock Fifty-One.10
XI
Scientist and Archivist,
Mage and guard and all,
Screamed in rage and sorry
To hear about the fall.
For in the hidden depths,
Below the Paddock far,
In lab and box and storeroom
Were dangers singular.
XII
Artifacts of Discord,
Random's deadly toys,11
Things experimental,
And that which just destroys.
The keepers fretted greatly
For reasons very dear.
With half the power inside
The Hind could spread pure fear.
XIII
The Hind had found the Paddock
By torment, mind and form,
And he gathered up his forces
The facility to storm.
His many simp'ring minions,
They without excuse,
Said, “Yes, go send them, master,
Your army cannot lose.”
XIV
He pretended to great power
But was a coward to the core.
He could conquer the defeated,
But could not fight a war.
He summoned hind and pony,
And chose the greatest there,
To march beneath his banner
And take the rebel lair.
XV
The ranks marched out with purpose
With spear and sword and shield;
Behind marched great commanders
To lead the deadly field.
With hind were mingled ponies,
All with the darkest hearts,
The equines were as vicious
As cervine counterparts.
XVI
Within the sunken Paddock
Panic ruled the day.
“It must all be buried
Or the hind will soon hold sway.”
Thus spake the lead researcher
Who added, “There is no chance.
There is no hope, at the end of a rope,
All of us will dance.”
XVII
The Arch-Magus, grim, but certain,
Led Black Knight from the ground.
They stood upon the highest point
To view the land around.
He pointed far past the horizon,
Beyond the curve of earth,
Towards distant Canterlot,
The place once of great worth.
XVIII
“Though Canterlot is Fallen
Her faithful still do stand,
Within the depths below
And scattered through the land.
Perhaps they are no army,
Not in the formal way,
But they may stand to defense
And free the land one day.
XIX
“But to reach a future promise
We must not fail now.
We must survive assault,
And only I know how.
The Hind is sending many,
To kill and steal away,
So some force must be waiting
To hold the fools at bay.
XX
“Equestria means nothing
If not full of love and peace;
We cannot be true citizens
If we let such things cease.
If citizen must expire
Then best is to help prevent
The death of our sustenance,
Land and Government.
XXI
“Help them destroy the items,
Burn the papers, crush the rest,
Bury the indestructible;
Defeat you may arrest.
For me, I'll raise the land up,
And make a narrow path.
The close and pressing walls of stone
Will dull their mindless wrath.
XXII
“You know me as a scholar,
But I am a soldier too.
'General' is likewise my title,
I know what I must do.
Go, ye servant of the Night,”
Go on, Fortuna's pawn,12
Leave me to my work here,
To honor the golden Dawn.”13
XXIII
The Black Knight went below,
With many a backward glance;
Though he knew the Arch-Magus' secret,14
He thought he had no chance.
Though mighty in his magic
His body still was frail.
He would speed along destruction
In event the stallion fail.
XXIV
He sent his magic surging,
And sank it to the soil,
The ground it surged and rumbled,
The earth it seemed to boil.
The land sent forth stone walls
That rose up to the sky.
It curved around the Paddock
To hide it from the eye.
XXV
The Arch-Magus stood stalwart
Within the narrow way
And turned ear and eye to the horizon
To note the Hind's array.
They marched from out the distance,
And raised a dust storm high.
He knew each face and hist'ry,
Afore they had drawn nigh.
XXVI
There Vidkun15, called the Bloody,
Who skinned a hundred does;
Ulvhud who stored bodies
In places no one knows.
Frykt of the dark woods,
Where none still sane will tread,
And Smerte, Lord of the Barrow,
Who rules among the dead.
XXVII
And ponies once familiar
Whose minds had sadly fled
Led forces as the deer did
And eagerly they sped.
There Vert Joilie of Percheron,
High Wind of Cloudsdale far,
Rocky Road from the hills of Capal,
And Strike, a Wonderbolt star.
XXVIII
Behind, beneath the banner
Of the cruel Heartless one,
Pulled by impresséd troops, was he
Who betrayed the Moon and Sun.
The selfish, thoughtless stallion
Who sold his folk for gain,
There came dark Shining Armor,
Who wrought the killing pain.
XXIX
They marched in ordered file,
Deer and pony, rank on rank,
Towards the new defenses
That they could not outflank.
The battle-trumpets sounded,
The spears shields they beat.
They halted just within the view
Of the one they need defeat.
XXX
The peal of mocking laughter
Shook earth and rent the sky.
The Arch-Magus, deathly stern,
Did not even twitch an eye.
Though but one could breach the passage
Three came forth in wrath;
Each wished to claim the glory
In the winning of the path.
XXXI
Ulvhud with his twin daggers
Known in the Northlands far;
Strike, the disgraced, with pike,
Trusting the speed of a falling star;
And Vert Jolie with his magic sword,
The two-handed blade that magic held,
Whipped aloft like a whirlwind's rage
With a flaming fur that would not be quelled.
XXXII
He had not sword or shield,
Nor poleaxe, ax or spear,
Not bow or other weapon,
He needed not the fruits of Tyr.16
A surge of magic flowed,
His horn glowed strong and bright,
He was cloaked in magic armor
With sword and shield of light.
XXXIII
With quickness Strike flashed forth,
But was pushed as fast aside,
To smash against the entrance
And his head split open wide.
A thrust sped through Vert Jolie,
His blade split straight in twain,
And with a scream Ulvhud fell,
First and last brush with pain.
XXXIV
Then Rocky Road, High Wind,
And Frykt ran to the fray.
A sword, crossbow and greataxe sped
To clear the narrow way.
The bolt is loosed and magic
Back two its owner sends;
Sword of light cuts one of steel
And greataxe fully rends.
XXXV
In disdain the great Arch-Magus
Forms bow of magic might,
And pierces Smerte's hornéd brow
With arrow made of light.
“I know you, fell stag, by rumor,
And by the fear in what was said:
Does had not peaceful slumber
In the halls of quiet dead.”
XXXVI
The army laughed no longer,
For high their ire burned,
And brighter glowed the fury
That their foe was unconcerned.
A vast and violent legion,
A sea of gleaming steel,
Yet a single frail scholar
Served as a solid seal.
XXXVII
Vidkun strides amid the throng
And the cringing shoves aside,
As he moves on the Arch-Magus
With proud and noble stride.
“You does and mares disgust me,
And I curse your fearful halt!
Would you even dare to come
Join Vidkun in the assault?”
XXXVIII
He bore double-bladed war axes,
And clanged in plate, not mail;
His helm was steel-banded bone,
A doe skull, snowy pale.
His plate was trimmed in hide,
Pulled from the newly dead,
And twenty points (If he had one)
Crowned his armored head.
XXXIX
The Arch-Magus had his secret,
Vidkun did as well-
Through ancient, dire magic
A could aside a spell.
His war axes rang on the magic shield
And it cracked like brittle glass.
The sword struck once and shattered;
he was near to winning the crevasse.
XL
The magic of the Northlands
Was not Equestrian pure,
And the Arch-Magus wavered on his hooves,
Scarcely able to endure.
His armor cracked and crumbled,
Darkness crept along the edge.
The Arch-Magus cried in anger.
He would not bear the sacrilege.
XLI
In the Northlands there was power,
But in Equestria there was skill,
Centuries of work and learning,
How push back any ill.
Though weakened by the evil,
His mind was still intact.
The Arch-Magus surged with power
And did the vileness counteract.
XLII
Back surged the curséd darkness
To Vidkun whence it came,
He wrenched in screaming agony,
Cloaked in ethereal flame.
With his evil cast back to him
The blow Vidkun could not check.
The Arch-Magus brought back his magic
And cut the monster's neck.
XLIII
Then fell the bloody Vidkun
Like a blazing shooting star,
Crashing to the stony ground,
Scattering soil and pebbles far.
And as with the fallen meteor
When one claims a fragment shed,
The did the great Arch-Magus
Pluck up slain Vidkun's head.
XLIV
He presented the hornéd skull
To the cringing, awestruck horde,
Then threw the accursed object,
The thing which he abhorred.
“And now ye hinds and ponies,
You see the cost is dear.
Which brainwashed minion next
Will taste this pony's cheer?”17
XLV
They wished to vent their anger,
But could not hide their fear.
They did not lack for forces,
Of pony or of deer.
The chosen of the Heartless,
Both willing and the crazed;
They were capable of killing,
Any vileness, all unfazed.
XLVI
But all the Heartless' chosen
Were all too well aware
There was not profit in bravery,
No cause for them to dare.
Sever ignoble monsters,
The cream of the elite,
The best of all the army
Rushed headlong to defeat.
XLVII
The blood flowed like a river
From the figures of the slain
And those on the front line
Dared not rush forth again.
The rear pushed forth the forward,
That they should bring the fight.
The army shoved and jostled
Their ire hiding fright.
XLVIII
Then magic parted the rabble
And forth strode the evil one.
The Arch-Magus smiled coldly
At betrayer of Moon and Sun.
“Welcome, welcome Prince!
You need not come in dread.
Here lies the road to power;
Please do not fear the dead.”17
IL
The Prince looked on the pathway
Then looked upon the slain,
Gazed on the proud Arch-Magus
And the road he would attain.
“I know you, General, and better,
Know that you are wise.
You cannot check an army
Claiming their desired prize.
L
“You stand as iron Aegis
Before the narrow way,
And yes, the single soldier
You easily can slay.
But limbs grow sore, magic fades,
Your body will give out.
Then once your power is ended
There comes the bloody rout.”
LI
Disdainfully the Arch-Magus
Dismissed the Prince's word
And spoke in booming tones
To ensure the army heard.
“You claim you know me, monster,
And I say it is not true,
For you do not know the secret
I now reveal to you!”
LII
Magic, in abundance,
Surged through his crackling horn,
Red-glowing, pulsing, blazing,
Like the ruddy sky of morn.
The power was more than any
In all those ranks had seen,
It rushed through the Arch-Magus
And in redness washed the scene.
LIII
His eyes grew white, his body rose,
The Arch-Magus roared, enraged,
And as the forward rank deserted
His true power he uncaged.
In beams of magic there he spread
Concentrated death.
Every screaming soldier struck
No longer drew a breath.
LIV
Flesh and bone made ashes,
Bodies sucked into a void,
Desiccation, exsanguination, detonation;
'Twas terror unalloyed.
He throng ran past the border
Of the desolating strike,
Behind the wicked, watching Prince
Who stood firm, statue-like.
LV
Down came the great Arch-Magus,
Halting against the wall;
Vidkun's dark enchantments
Had some effect after all.
Then up he stood and strong he looked
Armor springing forth again.
His horn glowed bright and weapons sprang,
To stand as the army's bane.
LVI
The prince then cried out,
“General, I see that you have force.
Stay your rage and listen,
I offer a brighter course.
The Stag King holds all power,
He will rule every distant land.
You, wise, potent stallion,
Place yourself beneath his hand.
LVII
“Yield ye, General, to him,
His power and his might,
Pass beneath his flowing banner,
Bask in his darkened light.
You could freely use your power,
The knowledge that you hold,
No more shut up in a prison,
But standing free and bold!”
LVIII
The Arch-Magus stood, unmoving,
Deep in careful thought.
He dropped his magic armor,
And said, “It is taught:
Agreement comes from learning,
Of knowing all I may,
To know the terms and burdens
Will not my strength overweigh.
LIX
“And thus it comes, the question,
'What is it that I need?'
I assure you, Prince, I do not
Have a heart for petty greed.
Perhaps, with one assurance,
He'll have my guarantee.
With but a single promise
He'll have my loyalty.”
LX
The Prince he smiled in triumph,
And the army was at ease.
He nodded to the Arch-Magus,
And kindly said to him, “Please,
Tell us of your needing
And surely he will agree.
What assurance do you need
To serve his majesty?”
LXI
The Arch-Magus gave a smile,
A scholar's tricky grin,
As though he had seen the board
And was assured that he would win.
“All that I require,
That his will shall prevail,
That while I am in his service
None shall hurt a female.”
LXII
The Prince's mien grew dark,
And his brow pulled tight in rage;
He would not bear such mockery,
From the smug and smiling sage.
“You know the way of Stags,
And how we all now live!
Equestria is gone, HE is here,
Obedience is imperative!
LXIII
“The destruction now is over
But NONE will mute the groans:
We'll draw their blood, mar their flesh,
And crack their worthless bones!18
Females are wombs and openings,
Toys of living flesh!
We shall claim even yearlings,
Soft, tender, sweet and fresh!”
LXIV
The Prince's words were silenced
When high the Paddock blew.
His eyes grew wide in anger
As suddenly he knew.
“You never meant to kill us,
Only make us long delay,
To wreck the precious items
And let others get away!”
LXV
He ordered archers ready,
And each remaining took a bow.
The arrows were tipped with rusty red
With bleached shafts white as snow.
“So if you will not obey us,
And our plenty you dismiss,
We will give you arrow volleys,
Blood and bone of cockatrice!”
LXVI
Not all were sagittarii,
But all loosed shot on shot
Until the sky above
Was a single, darkened blot.
The slaughter of the cockatrice
Had served them very well,
As seen by rain of arrows
That on the Arch-Magus fell.
LXVII
Weak from Vidkun's vileness,
And his show of mighty power,
His magic shield and armor
Could not wholly stop the shower.
With conjured wind and dancing hooves
he tried to stem the tide,
But with his waning energy
The arrows pierced his hide.
LVIII
He fell back into the passage,
And closed the narrow way,
Horn glowing in desperate protection
As he held the stone at bay.
He rushed to the smold'ring ruins,
To see that all had fled,
And know his duty had been discharged
Before he joined the dead.
LXIX
He found the Black Knight waiting,
To bear through the blockade
But seeing his dire straits,
He rushed to the Arch-Magus' aid.
The Black Knight tried to speak,
But the Arch-Magus spoke before.
“My time is short, listen well,
Your skill is needed sore.
LXX
“Now you alone must lead them
Into the promised fate,
Responsibility rests with you,
From this you may not abdicate.
Now give to me the knife
You made out of that flask,19
Once only ceremonial,
I shall give it another task...”
LXXI
He touched his glowing horn
to the silver blade;
Though stone crept up arms and legs
He looked quite unafraid.
The blade glowed like a rainbow,
And gained another seal,
The dual, dancing Princesses20
Beside Fortuna's golden wheel.
LXXII
“I wish that I could tell you
What it is that I have done
But time is not in favor,
You must avenge the Moon and Sun.
Only know you, Black Knight,
This magic that it bears,
'What Was' is its title,21
To the vanished world it stares.”
LXXIII
The Arch-Magus groaned and seeing
The rock was reaching high,
He returned the blade with a tremble
And drew the Black Knight nigh.
“Before the Hind's bloody minions
Can claim their battle prize,
You must do one last favor,
'Twould be chaos otherwise.”
LXXIV
In time the heartless army
Made path through summoned stone
But found they only ruins
And the Arch-Magus all alone.
Shocked were the remaining
Who claimed the stonéd dead:
They took his stricken body
But never found his head.22
LXXV
There came no peal of triumph
When they marched back to the base:
Chastening stripes and executions,
The cost of such disgrace.
Though they had his stony carcass
It was not near the same.
They could not claim dominion
Without the whole to shame.
LXXVI
Thus fell the Last Arch-Magus,
Of old-world Canterlot,
In service to a nation
Poisoned by cruel rot.
All honor and all glory,
To him it must be shown
His deeds and dedication
Must by all be known.
LXXVII
He sought a world unbroken,
The land we once adored,
The land of peace and plenty,
The land not of fire and sword,
The land of light and laughter,
The land of cheery jubilee,
The land of rapturous delights...
The land where women can be free.
LXXVIII
When the jenny feels certain
She may take a peaceful rest;
When the griffiness frets not
For the egg within her nest;
When the Dog knows she can slumber,
And not hold ope an eye;
When the zebra does not think
At any moment she will die.
LXXIX
When the Changeling feasts on love
Not chokes on bitter gall;
When the buffalo knows she
May stand up proud and tall;
And mares need never worry
For minds, horns, wings or life;
When all have strong and sure protection
That is the truest end of strife.
LXXX
That fate was his last promise,
His true and lofty goal:
To wipe away the Heartless,
And again make our land whole.
We must all fight and triumph,
To make his vision true:
To bring to birth the old world
From the ashes of the new.23