I Hate Hearts and Hooves Day!

by ILurvTrixie

First published

Cheerilee and Roseluck have nopony special, even when the ENTIRE FREAKING TOWN seems to. (Random Romance/Feb2014)

Roseluck grows some of the best flowers, and with her special talent coming up roses, pardon the pun, she always has her most work right around Hearts and Hooves day. And she can't stand the amount of work she puts into a holiday when she doesn't even have a special somepony herself.

Cheerilee can put a happy spin on just about any topic, and teaches her students with joy and enthusiasm. But being faced with a classroom full of happy crushes and romantic blooms when you're still not able to find your own special somepony cuts straight to the heart.

As the two seek the solace of other ponies lacking special someponies, feelings are talked about.

(Random Romance/Feb2014, includes some completely random background ships as side mentions)

Bittersweet Taste

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There was always a sense of pride when you were the best at something. Even when you were augmented by your cutie mark, you could be no better than anyone else with a similar cutie mark. But through work, practice, and with some endurance, you could become the best. And that's what Roseluck was known for. The best roses around, especially in this portion of Equestria. This meant she was in high demand for Hearts and Hooves day, the roses used to decorate huge portions of the Ponyville, to decorate the floats, and of course to give as gifts between special someponies.

Which served to frustrate her to no end.

It was wonderful that her flowers; and more specifically her roses; had won her such acclaim. She was thrilled that she was the go-to pony for gifts for special someponies. She adored the fact that ponies constantly complimented her for the flavor and aroma of her flowers. She smiled vaguely as her teeth separated one of the remaining blooms from the plant, the scent as sweet as ever, but the flavor less so.

Since she didn't have her own special somepony, the flavor of even the sweetest roses touched her tongue with bitterness. She watched as Derpy and Time Turner walked past, necks partially entwined as they nuzzled each other, colorful muffins topped with blooming roses on their backs. Roseluck's mouthful of bitter rose petals turned fully sour as jealousy rampaged across her face. She sighed, glaring at her garden. It was almost empty, having given up its beautiful blooms for the yearly celebration of love. Another year where she'd saved a bouquet and small dinner's worth of blossoms for herself.

Another year without a special somepony.

She growled in a fashion more appropriate for a dragon or a griffon. How dare they? She was as lovely as Daisy! She was as sweet as Lily! But she never even got a Hearts and Hooves day card, let alone a bouquet. Let alone a romantic dinner. Let alone...

Her anger burned itself out on that line of thought, leaving her staring over her garden's fence at the many smiling faces beyond. Carrot Top and Caramel Apple chatted off to one side, Carrot giggling warmly. Lyra and BonBon were hugged together on a park bench. Pokey Pierce and Fluttershy were dozing under a tree which swayed lazily in the breeze. Pinkie Pie and Applejack had a small picnic with cakes and bottles of cider set on a small hilltop. Helia and Thunderlane were awkwardly sitting near each other, blushing, a partially eaten bouquet between them. Roseluck sighed in envy of the emotions she wasn't receiving.

Resolving to make the best of a bad situation, she grabbed some of her bits from the many rose purchases, and decided to go out to eat. The Menu: anything but these bittersweet roses.

♥♥♥

Cheerilee's grin finally collapsed as the last students filed out of the classroom. Admittedly the rictus grin had been almost encouraging for the students as they sought to leave before their teacher collapsed into some Pinkamena Diane Pie level of personal madness. Not that Cheerilee had much of a choice. This year almost everypony in the class had managed to find a special somepony. Sure, they were just foalhood crushes, but each year before there had always been one or the other filly or foal who needed to be consoled. This year? Only Cheerilee was left without a special somepony.

Her face met her desk with a frustrated groan. Snips and Silver Spoon; Little Erroria and Dinky; Diamond Tiara and Applebloom; Twist and Snails; it was almost as if the CMC had managed to brew another batch of Love Poison and dose the entire class. But while some of the pairs had been unusual none of them had been obsessive which killed that theory. Did they all just feel more forgiving for today? Was there some kind of magic involved?

Was Cheerilee just that unlovable?

She raised her head with an angry glare as she pointed at the ceiling. "This is your own fault Cheerilee. You should never have let Big Macintosh walk away. But nooooo. You had to say that it would be for the best for you both to let things settle after the Love Poison incident! And now look at you!" The schoolhouse rafters, feeling it wise to stay out of this conversation, remained silent.

Her thoughts turned back on the previous years, where this void hadn't been such an issue. She was young. She still had time to find that special somepony. But the longer she told herself that, and the longer she went without one...

Her appetite was pretty much gone, although her stomach grumbled to remind her that she had skipped breakfast this morning, to avoid the lines for rose flavored baked goods. She sighed, then grabbed her saddlebags, and finally collected the papers she had to grade and the lesson plan she had to review. Surely she could find someplace to get something to eat that wouldn't remind her too much of the holiday.

♥♥♥

Roseluck was about ready to give up. Every single eatery in Ponyville was full to capacity with couples. Sure, some of the couples were familiar, accepted. But others... She never would have expected Daisy to be interested in Stonecutter. Not that she was in any position to complain about the special someponies of anypony else.

She sighed, releasing a small cloud of envy along with the breath. She needed to get something to eat that had nothing to do with roses. The small cafe ahead looked to have a recently vacated table, where the waitress unicorn was clearing the dishes. And there wasn't a line. Perfect! Rose sped up to a trot, and approached the table. The waitress favored her with a small smile. "Good afternoon, miss Rose, I'm afraid you'll need to wait until your special somepony comes by. The boss wants us to only seat couples."

The vague hopeful smile that had started to form collapsed into a neutron star of anger and boiling rage. The waitress flinched away from the suddenly darkened expression. Rose tried to calm herself, although that only lent a cold edge of steel to her words, her anger still visible on her face. "What?"

"W-well, we're running a special for today, and the boss wants to make sure it's still profitable, and since it's hearts and hooves, we're requiring two ponies a table."

"You are denying me service. Because I don't have a special somepony." Rose wasn't sure what she was going to do, but she could feel her pupils narrowing down into angry points.

"N-no, not denying you service, just- uh... well, maybe.. but... um." The unicorn waitress shifted her eyes back and forth, hoping for some kind of salvation.

"If I get seated with her can we get some service?" Cheerilee interjected tiredly into the conversation. The waitress nodded rapidly at this sudden excuse to get out of the conversation.

"Oh yes, of course, please, take a seat and I'll be right back." She took off at a gallop, the magical aura surrounding the dishes she had removed flickering wildly with her emotions. Cheerilee collapsed into a seat with a groan, but chuckled at the confusion visible on Roseluck's face.

"So you don't have a special somepony either, huh?"

Roseluck bristled slightly before she finished the complete thought. "Either? You too?"

Cheerilee nodded sadly, looking around the cafe. Even from here she could see the panicked waitress being consoled by the chef pony in the kitchen. "Is there something in the water today? I don't think I've ever seen Ponyville so.. completely filled with couples."

Roseluck snorted, taking the seat across from the teacher with a frustrated sigh. "No kidding. Usually there are others without special someponies, and we can at least take solace in the fact that we're not alone. But today..."

"Looks like it's just you and I. Even all the students managed to find somepony." Cheerilee smiled vaguely as the waitress returned with two menus. She had to frown at the colorful Hearts and Hooves day specials inset. "Well, the prices are very reasonable split between two."

"As long as it doesn't have any roses in it, I'll be fine with it."

The pair finally decided to share an appetizer platter for two, grape juice, and some chocolate cake, and settled in for lunch.

Bara Blossoms

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Cheerilee licked the frosting from her plate with reckless abandon, the sweet embrace of chocolate and sugar placating her thoughts about her lack of romance. Roseluck had already cleared her own plate, and spun her fork disinterestedly atop the dish. Her eyes drifted away from the now functionally useless dishware to the rose and heart decorations around the cafe. Cheerilee winced as Roseluck's expression went from pensive to mildly annoyed and approached anger once again.

"Has it been that bad?"

"Wha-?" Rose snapped out of her reverie momentarily, before flushing, and sighing. "I'm sure you know what's going through my head. Why don't I have a special somepony?"

Cheerilee nodded. "I do understand, and I fully agree. We're both young attractive mares. And considering how everypony else seems to have hooked up today..."

Rose sighed, and pouted. "I can't bring myself eat any more of my roses today. They taste so.. bitter."

Cheerilee raised a curious eyebrow. "You're aware that that's probably ps-"

"Psychosomatic, yes, I'm aware it's all in my head." Rose grumbled. "That doesn't change the taste any."

The teacher considered her freshly tongue-washed plate in annoyance. "Normally I can handle my own emotions. I take solace in helping the foals and fillies whose special someponies didn't return their affections. But this year... even some of the more anti-social members of the class have hooked up. So I was left with my own thoughts." Her eyes drifted from the plate back up to Roseluck with a curious expression. "Why are you so angry today, anyway? I've always seen you as a more retiring type."

Rose stared at her plate, and poked at it with her fork. "I guess.. I guess I just feel even worse today because the other two members of our flower trio are enjoying Hearts and Hooves. Normally I grumble a bit about how my roses are being enjoyed by all the couples, or about how they decorate the floats. And then I can still have time with my friends. I still have ponies who I enjoy being with, and I can objectively feel that I made the holiday better with my roses. But today..." She gestured broadly. "Rose blossoms. Rose petals. All grown here in Ponyville, raised to their best color, aroma, flavor. Different colors if you want them, but red is always the most popular today. And no roses for Roseluck." She slammed her forehead into the table; the tableware clattered. "Sometimes I feel like I'm the thorn."

"Instead of the Rose?" Cheerilee tutted, reaching out to pat her fellow earth pony on the head. "So part of the problem is just not having someone to talk with. And the other part is the problem with Hearts and Hooves."

"Singles awareness day."

Cheerilee nodded. "There is of course the obvious option."

A hoof was pointed at the teacher from the still face-tabled gardener. "If you suggest we hook up, I'm going to leave the thorny branches I trim back around your house."

"I fear you misunderstand." Cheerilee grinned. "Today is the day for couples. This cafe is hardly the only place offering specials or limiting access to pairs of ponies. So, why don't we simply enjoy the rest of the day, the small parade, the dinner, as a pair? We can talk about whatever; make fun of the holiday if that's what you feel like; and simply enjoy the offers available."

Rose raised her head with a slight frown. "Take advantage of the day for personal gain? I'd never thought I'd hear you of all ponies suggesting that, Cheerilee."

Cheerilee coughed, turning away slightly. "It's this or we go home and sit, alone, waiting for the day to end."

Rose winced. "When can we get started?"

♥♥♥

The movie theatre. Under normal circumstances, it was at best moderately busy. Today? The theaters playing romantic movies were sold out until well past twilight hours. But with specials for the tickets, it was a great option for an early afternoon distraction, provided they could find something non-romantic. Cheerilee eyed the posters with 'sold out' signs over them with some trepidation. "Love in Storm Clouds, A Bushel Full of Romance, Spell of Her Heart..."

"Pandering to their audience."

"The Hearts and Hooves Day Slasher, Griffons and Gifts, Kiss of the Changeling..."

"Niche market saturation."

"Bitsy Bunny Saves Hearts and Hooves Day... I hope none of my students are rotting their brains with that cheap attempt to make them spend bits."

"It is sold out."

Cheerilee sighed, as she examined the final poster on the wall; the only poster not sporting a 'sold out' sign. "Well, it looks like our only option is Wisdom of the Forest. I can't say I've heard of it."

"It's actually pretty old, follows an exploratory team into the Everfree as they wrangle animals and collect artifacts."

"You've seen it before?"

"Two hooves up." Roseluck smiled. "Plus it doesn't look like anypony else is watching it, so we might have the theater to ourselves."

"So?"

Roseluck cackled wickedly and rubbed her hooves together. "We can commentate and not get thrown out!"

Cheerilee chuckled and rolled her eyes. She approached the ticket counter, and gestured to the rather bored colt behind it. "Two please!"

♥♥♥

Cheerilee laughed as they exited the theater, Roseluck smiling beside her. "That was the twist? Really?"

"Hey, it was a cheap movie. And you can't say you were expecting it."

"The party leader was the camera man because of a time travel artifact? Which wasn't even mentioned until the end of the movie?" Cheerilee exploded into raucous laughter again. "I thought it was pretty serious right to that point. But Miss Snarky over here..." Cheerilee chuckled at Roseluck's shameless grin.

"You can't tell me you weren't thinking it yourself. Those lines were trite and overdone. The bridging scenes between the actual animal wrangling were so painfully scripted. And the artifacts..." Roseluck grinned at Cheerilee, who failed to contain her laughter once more. "It's so bad, it's worthy of two hooves up!"

Cheerilee's laughter finally broke as she hiccuped, which earned a full laugh from Roseluck. "Per*hic*- perhaps we should check out the *hic* the parade? That's about now."

"Sure!"

♥♥♥

Cheerilee paid for a small smoothie to bury her hiccups, and stared around main street as it was made. The main thoroughfare had been cleared for the parade floats to pass through, but all the market stalls were still operating along the sides of the road. As could be expected, enterprising ponies had taken the the holiday and made game stalls with small Hearts and Hooves themed prizes. The bustle of pony bodies was nearly solid as pairs jockeyed for positions on this or that favored stall with the prize that their special somepony wanted. She couldn't help but smile as Cheery lived up to her name, as she cheered and kissed Archer on the cheek for winning her a plush heart.

"Your carrot/cherry smoothie Miss Cheerilee."

Cheerilee perked and smiled, raising a curious eyebrow at the rose petal garnish on top. "Thank you." She turned back to Rose, who had once again begun to grumble at the colorful decorations strung between lampposts, many of which appeared to have been covered in rose petals rather than simply colored in. She rolled her eyes and gave the gardener a small hip check. "If you keep frowning like that your face will get stuck that way."

Roseluck blew out a frustrated raspberry at the teacher. "I think I'm allowed to frown at the amount of roses they need each year. Couldn't they just color the decorations normally?"

"You have to admit it looks a bit better with the rose petals instead of some flat dye."

"They use almost three roses per decoration! That's just wasteful!"

Cheerilee thought about it as a teacher would, breaking it down into components. "Well how many flowers do you get per rose bush?"

Roseluck blinked, and pointed an accusatory hoof at the teacher once more. "We are not turning my annoyance into a word problem." Cheerilee offered a sheepish smile as her plans were so brutally cut short.

Cheers from further down the street and a sudden addition of band music announced the arrival of the Hearts and Hooves day parade. The pair exchanged glances as they settled onto the road sides with partial smiles. As the first wave of marching band strode by the crowd cheered. Colorful floats, most topped with happily waving couples passed in their wake. Cheerilee was surprised to note that the floats themselves followed the same pattern as the decorations, covered in colorful layers of rose petals.

It was only a small local parade, and as the last of the eight floats passed them by, Pinkie posed atop the massive heart. In her arms were two miniaturized party cannons, which she wielded with a mad grin. Applejack stared up at her from a more stable position on the flat deck of the float. The party pony cocked the two cannons, and fired. Swirls of rose petals were sent curling through the air on either side of the float. They fell gracefully around and between the audience who now cheered wildly. Couples stared at one another with blissful expressions. Curious, Cheerilee looked to Rose, who looked back at her.

Framed by the falling red petals, Roseluck stood out in stark contrast, the few vivid petals that stuck in her mane serving to emphasize her own colors. Cheerilee found herself blushing in surprise, and noted a similar color drifted onto Roseluck's cheeks. The gardener coughed slightly, looking away with a grumble. "I can't believe how many roses Pinkie must be wasting with this." Cheerilee chuckled happily.

Cheer me on

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Roseluck sighed happily as she looked around the park. So many couples everywhere. Just minutes ago she was about enraged about it, but now, now there was a bit of joy in the moment. She smiled peacefully as she reached beside her, grabbing one of the many paper airplanes she and Cheerilee had folded from the teacher's paper supplies. She sighted her targets, threw the plane, and watched as the gentle breeze caused the plane to bank and shift. Her face screwed up in intense focus as she tried to make the wind blow one more time through sheer force of will. Big Macintosh and Berryshine jumped apart in surprise as the plane zipped by overhead, just missing the two of them. Roseluck pumped her hoof in joy. "Yesssss, right between them, five points!" Cheerilee rolled her eyes as she looked around and tried to pick her own targets. Rose chuckled to herself. Target rich environments were so much fun.

♥♥♥

Between the movie, the parade, and the time spent interfering with couples in the park, the sun was already dipping to the horizon. Roseluck and Cheerilee stretched out on the park bench with smiles. "Alright, that was a pretty rousing way to spend Hearts and Hooves. Thanks Cheerilee."

"Thanks yourself, Roseluck, but we still have dinner to go."

Roseluck shot the teacher a suspicious glare. "Are you sure you're not trying to turn this into a date of some kind?" Cheerilee simply rolled her eyes.

"As lunch showed, these two pony deals are pretty worthwhile."

The gardener smiled and waved a hoof dismissively. "Alright, alright, fine, but dinner is the end of it."

Cheerilee chuckled in return, and nodded. "Agreed."

♥♥♥

The obvious problem soon reared its ugly head. While lunch was still an informal event at the best of times, dinner was a matter of reservations and slow eating. Especially on Hearts and Hooves day. Cheerilee sighed as she eyeballed the fifth overfilled restaurant with a line of waiting ponies extending well to the other side of the street. "I fear we didn't think this through entirely."

Roseluck pouted as she glared at the ponies staring into each other's eyes over emptied dinner plates. "There wouldn't be this much of a problem if they just went to stare at each other somewhere else."

Cheerilee winced as she looked at the almost ravaged grocery store. "And romantic picnics appear to be popular as well. ...I might have an apple or two in the fruit bowl. Probably." Cheerilee chewed on her lower lip in frustration. That wasn't much of a dinner.

Roseluck grumbled, then gasped. Her eyes widened in surprise as her face split into a grin. "Cheerilee, I'll meet you by the lake in about 20 minutes, alright?" Without any further warning the gardener took off, leaving the confused teacher behind.

"Al... right?"

♥♥♥

Cheerilee looked around the lake. As the sun set in the distance, couples had snuggled up to one another, or moved into the shallows of the lake to play with each other as the celestial spectacle performed its vanishing act. Further from the banks, ponies shared bites from their picnic baskets, or relaxed with juice bottles and cider. Rather than feeling the pang of loneliness from earlier once more, Cheerilee couldn't help but smile. She might not have a special somepony, but spending time today with Roseluck was more fun than not.

"Hey, Cheerilee!" Roseluck smiled as the teacher turned her way, her eyes widening in surprise at the bouquet of roses. She flicked the surprised expression from the flowers to the flower bearer, who smiled sheepishly.

"Considering how much you complained I can't say I expected this."

Rose rolled her eyes and made a dismissive noise. "Don't flatter yourself. This is dinner. But, well, it's also thank you."

"What for?" Cheerilee picked one of the roses from the bouquet. Her teeth gently separated the aromatic bloom from the stem and she chewed slowly. Delicious.

Roseluck smiled as she took a seat beside Cheerilee. The teacher favored her with a slight smile as they both stared up at the sunset. "You're not my special somepony. But today... today would've been a lot worse if I were just glaring angrily at everyone walking by. So thank you, for being a special somepony for me." A blush drifted across her face before Rose leaned over, putting her head on Cheerilee's shoulder.

Cheerilee, though surprised, leaned her own head onto Rose's. "You're quite welcome. And thank you for being a special somepony for me too."

The pair smiled softly as the sun drifted below the horizon. Rose took one of the roses with a frown, and bit the flower off. The sweet flavor was wonderful.

Epilogue

"Aaaand that should do it!" Discord chuckled to himself as he finished drawing a red line between the last two names in the book. He was lounging on his stomach, one leg kicked up into the air like a young filly writing in her diary. "Not missing any names this time around."

He was a bit unfamiliar in the Golden Oaks Library, but since it did have the census reports for Ponyville, it was simply more convenient. Plus Twilight had been missing for some reason or another. He perked up as the door to the library started to open, revealing Fluttershy. "Oh, good evening Discord." She blinked a few times at the draconequus armed with a pen, laying in front of an open book. "O-oh my. You're not writing in one of the library books, are you?"

"Good evening Fluttershy. Oh no, I'm not that crazy." He smiled, tugging on the end of his pen. A small red string extended out. "This is hardly ink."

"A red string?"

"An old Neighponese belief about destined souls. It's rather colorful. Would you care to hear about it?"

"Thank you, but, well, not right now. Do you know where Twilight is?"

"Afraid not."

Fluttershy's expression fell, but she smiled weakly to Discord. "Okay. Thank you again. Umm. I guess I'll go look for.. Rarity. Rarity might be good." The confused mare headed back out of the library. Discord climbed to his feet and stretched out with a smug smile.

"Oh these ponies are so easy to manipulate. Especially when it's for their own good. This was almost as fun as Discording them had been." Discord giggled like a schoolfilly at the prospect of the chaos that was sure to happen when his little love enhancing wore off tomorrow morning. "So full of love and harmony, give them a little nudge and they simply can't hold it back."

He snapped his fingers, a dark cloak and swagger stick appearing on his back and in his paw respectively. He considered a moment, then snapped his fingers again, finishing the ensemble with a tophat, and a pair of heart-shaped glasses on his face. "Better." With a cheerful whistle he exited the library with no small amount of pomp.

A bush beside the front door to the library shook from side to side before revealing the head of Princess Twilight Sparkle, who glared at the back of the smug draconequus. Covering her horn was a somewhat familiar purple wizard's hat with blue and yellow stars. "Oh you just wait, Discord. I'll figure out what you're up to this time."

Trixie's blue head popped up with a tired expression beside that of the princess. "Did something happen?"

With a small smile Twilight nuzzled up to the showmare. "Library's free. And I have a couch that's quite a bit more comfortable than a bush."

Trixie chuckled as she lead the way into the library, followed by Twilight wearing Trixie's hat and cape. "So Trixie still has to earn her costume back? There are worse punishments. Trixie shall wow you with a fabulous dinner!"

Twilight smiled as she closed the door behind her. Tomorrow. She could figure out Discord's plan tomorrow.