Before the wedding, Cadence and Shining Armor obviously loved each other, right? Chrysalis had nothing to do with it. . . . right?
In their childhood, Queen Chrysalis, Cadence, and Shining Armor were all the best of friends. Until Cadence falls in love with Shining. Chrysalis can't do anything but support her, even if she harbored forbidden feelings for him as well. Alas, love always comes with a price.
That's all love isーpain. Because when one falls in love, one must be prepared for rejection. I made this mistake.
I stare out the carriage window at the clouds above. The trees whip past, and we graze beyond the snow-capped mountains. No one wants me. I'm different, twisted, disgusting. I was left at the orphanage for that very reason. Because I'm unwanted.
So, why should someone have adopted me?
Is it to mock me? Enslave me? Use me? I wonder this now, alone in the large Pegasus-drawn carriage I sit in. The type princesses use. I'm no princess. I'm unwanted. The carriage door has the Crystal Empire's logo engraved onto it, so I presume that's where I'm headed. I've never been outside the Vanhoover Orphanage before, so I don't know anything about the true outside world. I sigh. Well, wherever this Crystal Empire is, it sure is far from Vanhoover.
The carriage jolts to a stop, sending me lunging forward. I hit my head onto the empty seat opposite me, and I rub my forehoof on my head. "Ow. . ." Part of the reason no one wants me is because of my abnormal build. I have a forest-green coat, often mistaken for black. My dark green mane is long, straight, and stringy. The weirdest thing about me is the ends of my mane and tail are shot through with holes. Yesーholes. Same with my hooves and bug-like green transparent wings. Sometimes, my green eyes glow when I get mad, which is why the other orphans made sure to stay away from me. It was pretty lonely.
The carriage door is opened. Standing in the doorway is a sparkling mare with a beautiful coat that looks. . . . crystal-y. I presume this is why they're called Crystal Ponies. I've never seen one in person before, until now. I stay silent, unsure of what they're going to do to me. The mare gives me a kind smile. The smile glows. I stare in astonishment. She giggles.
"Come, filly. Your new little sister, Princess Cadence is waiting for you," she says, with a voice as smooth and beautiful as herself.
I say nothing, deciding to trust this mare and stepping down from the carriage.
As soon as I step out, I am greeted with a large, sparkling crystal tower. I gaze up, my mouth agape. I hear someone clear their throats, not unkindly. I turn my head around to look behind me. The carriage is gone, and is replaced with a large amount of Crystal Ponies in maid and butler uniforms.
"Welcome to the Crystal Empire," they say happily in unison.
I step back in wonder, my eyes glittering. I can't help the smile that creeps onto my face. A Crystal mare approaches me with a warm smile. "Please follow me, Master." At this, I am stunned. No one has ever called me that before. Shocked, I attempt at a bow in curtesy but I instead fall flat on my muzzle. My face turns beet red in embarrassment.
The mare giggles kindly, and I offer a sheepish smile. "Right this way," she says, directing me to a stairwell leading inside the castle.
As we enter the building I am shocked by the interior. Everything in the Crystal Empire seems to sparkle! The mare guides me into a guest suite in the Crystal Castle. I enter the room, and am utterly shocked at what I find. The room is massive and, of course, sparkling with crystals. The mare follows behind me, setting down my baggage. "This will be your room from now on. My name is Crystal Shine. I will be your maid. Please do not hesitate to contact me whenever you need me," she says, indicating a button on the wall beside my bed and pointing to her collar. "This button will activate a notification beep in my collar." She presses the button and small bulb on her collar lights up, simultaneously activating a small beep. I nod, still not saying anything.
After she unpacks my bags and leaves, I climb onto my bed, using my wings to help me boost. I finally reach the top, and I feel like I've just climbed a huge mountain. I flop heavily onto the soft mattress. I gaze up at the vast ceiling, sparkling and engraved with beautiful patterns. The few moments before I fall asleep, I smile. Ah, I tell myself inwardly.
I've learned to smile.
。。。
I wake up, and the first thing I see is the smiling face of a pink-coated filly, a unicorn, with pretty purple eyes and a mane with a spectra of pink, purple, and yellow dyes. I'm startled, and I shoot into upright position, unintentionally head-butting the filly.
She staggers back, holding her forehooves to her forehead, groaning. "Oww. . . . that hurt," she says quietly to herself. As I look at her, I see she isn't a unicorn, but an alicorn, like me. She looks younger than me, only about a year in age difference, despite my rather tall height. I start panicking, not knowing what to do, fearing that if they find out, I'll be sent back.
She starts giggling.
I am shocked. My eyes widen, staring at her. She laughs again, this time, more heartily, and she snorts. She blushes and covers her muzzle with the forehoof, then smiles and laughs again. I can't hold it inーI smile and giggle. I immediately cover my mouth, astonished; I haven't laughed in six years. Now that I think about it. . . .
It's the first time I've ever laughed since I was born.
I can't stop laughing. I laugh some more, and after a moment, so does she. After a good while, we finally stop, and she introduces herself.
"Hi, there," she says with a huge smile. "I'm Cadence. What's your name?"
I stay silent, unsure of what to say. She stares at me with smiling eyes, waiting for my response. After a while she notices that I'm nervous. She pats my shoulder with a reassuring hoof. "It's okay, there's nothing to be scared of! I'm your new sister," she says. Ah, so this must be the princess Crystal Shine mentioned. I gulp.
"I-I'm C-Chrysalis," I say quietly.
Cadence beams. "Well. Nice to meet you Chrysalis! I'm looking forward to being your new sister, so please take care of me!" I smile back softly and reply with a small voice.
"Cadence! Cadence, are you awake?" I peek inside Cadence's room, scanning the area for my sister.
Actually, we're not sisters by blood. I was adopted by them from the Vanhoover Orphanage ten years ago, when I was at six years of age. Shortly after I was taken in by the Crystal Castle, Cadence and I were able to do some research in the library about my type. I'm what they call a changeling. Ponies like me were often shunned because of our power; the main ability of a changeling is to take the form of somepony you love and gain power by feeding off your love for them.
Cadence laughs. "Well, that's definitely not you. I know you, and I know you'd not do something like that," she says with a smile. "Right?"
I sense the uncertainty in her voice. I reply to her with an evil smile and cackle. "Maybe," I sneer. Cadence looks taken aback. She quickly realizes its a joke and laughs. I laugh as well and sigh. "Gosh, I didn't know I could do something like that," I say. "And even if I knew how to do something like that, I could never use it against Equestria. . . ."
"....rysalis. Chrysalis. Hello! Earth to Chrys!"
I snap out of my daydream to find a pink hoof waving in front of my face. "You alright, Chrys?" she asks with a concerned expression on her beautiful face. I smile reassuringly. "You're so pretty, Cadence," I say admiringly.
Cadence blushes. "Really? I don't think I'm all that," she says modestly. "Anyway, was there something you wanted to tell me?"
Ah, yes, that's right. "Cadence, Shining Armor's coming to pick you up later. Let's go get you fixed up and even prettier." I smirk. "He is your," I pause, clearing my throat, and widening my grin, "boyfriend, after all."
At this, she turns an ever brighter shade of red. "N-no. I mean, yes, b-but you," she pauses and continues quietly. "You don't have to say it like that. . . ."
I smile, amused. I laugh. "You're so cute."
She smiles and laughs happily at this, like we've laughed for so long.
Half an hour later, Cadence leaves for her first date. Though they've been in love with each other since forever, they only started dating two weeks ago after Shining Armor confessed to Cadence. I could only cheer her on.
It had hurt. I had no choice. Shining could never love someone like me. Though, I've never hated Cadence for it. She's always been there for me, and she was the one who accepted me. Besides, I understand why Shining would be attracted to her; she's kind, beautiful, caring, and she even has a part-time job foalsitting a young unicorn mare.
It's unrequited love. And unrequited is all it will ever be.
ー
I love Shining Armor. Being able to say that to him, being able to be by his side, sharing mutual love. I feel as if I'm on top of the world.
Though, I do feel bad leaving Chrys alone.
At that moment, a face appears under my muzzle. I tilt my head back, surprised. Shining Armor looks up at me, craning his neck down. "You're spacing out," he says, chuckling and straightening his neck.
I feel heat rush to my cheeks. "Was I? Sorry," I apologize. "I kind of feel bad leaving Chrysalis home alone," I say. Shining Armor smiles sweetly. "You've always had a kind heart," he says, rubbing his nose on mine. I giggle.
"Thanks, Shining."
He smiles. "There's a cake shop I found here while I was exploring earlier that I wanted to take you to." My mouth waters and I feel my eyes glisten. He laughs and says, "So you're a sweet-tooth, Cadence?"
Shining Armor isn't from here, so I'm not sure he'd understand how good the bakery products from the Crystal Empire are. He told me he was on leave today, so he took the chance to invite me on a date. It's his first time coming here; usually I'm the one who goes over to Canterlot to visit him, as I had on foalsitting duty, so I went there often with Chrysalis until last year.
As Chrysalis had gotten older, Princess Celestia made it so that she had would stop visiting Canterlot. She never told us why.
In front of me, Shining Armor stops. I look up, confused. "What's the matter?" I ask. He looks over his shoulder at me. "This is the place." I blink and look up at the bright, decorated sign above our heads. Crystal Cakes.
As Shining holds the door open for me, I smile and happily trot inside, Shining Armour following behind be and closing the door. As soon as I enter, the familiar smell of sugar and icing hits me. My nostrils flare, and my pupils dilate. I giggle. "It's like a heaven on Equestria!" I squeak excitedly. Shining Armor laughs.
"Well, order anything you'd like. My treat," he says.
I look back at him, concerned. "No, I couldn't do something like that. I can pay for my share."
"Cadence, it's fine, I have enough-"
"I insist."
He shrugs and sighs. Then he smiles, exasperated. "Alright, your highness."
I let out a satisfied, triumphant "Hmph," and swish around. I trot over to the counter and gaze at the cakes and cupcakes. My mouth waters, and I can only do my best to keep from drooling. The cakes are very well-decorated, and very detailed. The colorful icings on each of the cakes jump out to create beautiful spectral designs, each one original and unique to the next. "They're so pretty," I sigh. "It's as if I can't eat it, or else I would ruin all the hard work."
A Crystal pony with a glimmering beige coat and a pastel blue mane and tail bursts from a curtain behind the counter, clearly in a hurry.
"Welcome to Crystal Cakes," she says. "Please pardon my tardiness, as I-"
She pauses as soon as her purple eyes pass over Shining Armor and Cadence. "The High Captain of the Royal Guard and the Princess," she breathes, astonished.
She immediately falls to her knees and bows. "I beg your pardon for my rudeness," she says, "Your Majesty, Your Excellency. I had not anticipated for such royalty and supremacy to visit such a lowly place as this. My deepest apologies for the ragged attire of the shop and of the staff."
"Please, don't. We are not here as royalty; we're here as customers," I tell her with a soft smile. The shopkeeper's eyes widen in surprise.
"O-of course! Yes," she says, clearing her throat and rising from her low bow. "So, uh, w-what would you like?"
I turn my attention to the different cakes lined up neatly behind the glass. My eyes pause on a small light pink mousse with my cutie mark decorated on the top. I giggle and point to it. "I'll take this one."
When the shopkeeper sees the selected cake, she smiles and lets out a soft laugh. "Of course," she says, slowly taking a piece from behind the counter and placing it on a square glass plate. She hands it to me with a smile. "Enjoy."
"Thank you," I say, sparking my magic to take the plate. I blink, remembering. "Ah, that's right. How much?"
The shopkeeper shakes her head. "It's on the house. No pay needed."
"No, I insist on paying. How much?"
"Princess, I-"
"No."
She sighs. "Four bits, then."
I smile, taking out the requested amount. "Four bits," I say.
As I eat my cake, something catches my eye.
"Excuse me, ma'am, how much for that cupcake?" I ask, pointing to it.
She follows my gaze. "Oh, that one is free of charge. It's only on rare occasions that it's bought," she says. "Would you like it?"
I nod. "To go, please."
I say my thanks to the shopkeeper, and take my leave. As Shining and I exit the shop, a sudden blast of cold wind blows into my face. From the warmth of the store, I forget that it's nearing the end of fall, and temperatures here, already cold enough, being in the north, drop even more and fall away into bitter and frozen days.
After Shining Armor drops me off back at the Castle, I thank him and rush upstairs to Chrysalis's room. I open the door and find her sat next to the window, gazing out into the outside world. I can never know what it feels to be in her place, banned from society and cursed to live her days in the closure of the Castle.
It wasn't always like this. When we were foals, before Celestia disallowed Chrysalis's exploring of the world outside, Shining Armor and I would always play with her, together. The two of us never really cared about Chrysalis's odd appearance, or her strange voice, or the fact that she would never be able to attain a cutie mark.
Now, everything has changed.
As I look at Chrysalis, I let out a sympathetic smile. I quickly regain my attitude and trot over to her. "Hey, Chrys!" I say with much glee. "I'm back!" As soon as I say that, the biggest smile crosses her face, and she turns to me, sparkling with happiness.
"It's about time," she says with a sarcastic grin. "So, how was it?"
I giggle. "It was fun. Oh, and I brought something for you." I pull out the box with the cupcake inside from my saddlebag and give it to her. "Here."
She looks from the box to me, then back to the box, opening the lid. Inside, there is a red velvet cupcake, topped with blue icing decorated with small swirls. A small edible rose sits on the top. She laughs and smiles. "Thanks so much! It's so pretty!"
I smile. Normally, a regular pony would see something like this as plain, boring. But not Chrysalis. She sees the wonder and beauty in everything. "I knew you'd like it," I say.
She sparks her magic and gives the cupcake a bite. In the blink of an eye, the cupcake disappears, leaving only crumbs and icing stains. Chrysalis swallows the last of the cupcake and laughs. "Delicious!" I snicker, pulling out a handkerchief. Chrysalis blinks. "What?"
I take the handkerchief and rub her snout where the icing and crumbs didn't make it inside her mouth. "You're so messy," I giggle. She blushes and pushes the handkerchief away, rubbing the back of her head with her forehoof, chuckling nervously. "Oops," she mumbles.
"Yes!" I exclaim, startling Chrys. "I got it!"
She blinks. "Got what?"
I rub my forehooves together evilly. "The perfect prank," I say darkly.
Chrys gasps and snickers. "I haven't done a good prank since we were foals."
I giggle.
"Shh! I'm about to go," Cadence tells me. I nod.
We peep over the corner, and sure enough, the maid is there in front of my Cadence's room, about to knock for cleaning. She pauses and turns her head to where we are. We immediately snap our heads back, covering our muzzles with our forehooves to keep from laughing. "Okay, I'm going," says Cadence. I watch from where I hide.
Cadence approaches the grey mare and exclaims, "Oh! Margaret!" Margaret turns, startled. "Ah, Your Majesty," she says, lowering her head in a brief respectful bow. "I thought you were in your room."
"I went to get some food from the kitchen."
"Your Highness, please refrain from such work; that is my job. All you need to do is request for me and I will take care of it for you."
"It's alright. Oh, Margaret, you have something on your face. Here, allow me," Cadence says, wiping her cheek with a napkin. "There."
Margaret blushes. "Oh, my apologies, Your Highness. I'll go and clean your room now," she says, hurrying inside.
Cadence smiles and hurries to our hiding spot quickly. I giggle softly and hoof-bump her. The two of us hurry off just as Margaret shrieks at her reflectionーher cheek stained with a bright red paint smearーfrom inside the room.
ー 5 Years Later ー
Wow. I look exactly like her. Even my voice sounds the same. I gaze into my reflection in the mirror, unsure about what I see. I had no idea that I could do this. Wait, I take that backーI do know; I just never had the guts to try. Curiosity got the best of me, and here I stand now.
"You look just like me!" Cadence yelps excitedly.
"Cadence, are you sure this is fine? I mean, don't you want to go?"
"Oh, seriously, I go on dates with Shining all the time! It's your turn to try it out."
Finally, after long last, I can finally experience the mutual love I've only ever dreamed of. Every time this crosses my mind, I tell myself, His heart isn't mine.
"Alright, Chrys. You know what to do, right?"
I nod nervously.
She glances outside the window just as Shining Armor arrives.
Cadence smiles at me. "Have fun."
I pause before smiling happily at her. "Yeah." I trot quickly out the door and down the stairs, my heart fluttering with mixed emotions of happiness and the pain of realizing that Shining Armor loves Cadence.
ー
I'm happy for Chrysalis. She finally can experience the joy of mutual love with a lover.
Even if it's not real.
She's never told me personally, but I've seen it in the way she glows when we talk about him. At the same time, I see her agony. I've only felt sentiment towards her. Even so, I can't stop loving Shining. Even if it means hurting others I love. If he would do the same for me, I can only do the same for him.
After seeing the two of them off from the window, I slowly rise from my perch and make my way to my bed. Crouching, I retrieve the leather case from under it. Not many ponies know it, but I've played the viola ever since Chrysalis came.
I've always thought that the viola reminded me of Chrysalis; often unacknowledged by the audience. But, once you see the true potential and the beauty of it, it suddenly becomes something that one should want to encourage.
I uncase the instrument and softly pluck each string to make sure they're in tune. Each string vibrates after the pluck, sound echoing through the sound post, resonating through the quiet room. I pull out the bow, tighten it, and place the bow hair on the strings after maintaining my position. As the bow slides across the strings, sure and in forte, the first note is played. The second note is fostered, and a third, and a fourth, until a story is made with the harmony of just one instrument. The music brushes the walls and echo through the room, each note prolonged and dancing in the air, free and graceful.
As the seconds come to minutes, the music flies and swims through the dynamics, each crescendo creating a new life. Every time I hear this music, I feel as if I'm free, as if I stepped into a new world. As if I'd stepped into a new, perfect world; pure and shining. It's as if the music paints so clearly the deep feelings of pain, sadness, lonelinessー
Heartbreak.
I cut the song off as a tear falls onto the wood of the viola. I am stunned, unmoving, struck with the dark truth. All of this, all of the feelings coming to me, as I am left alone in this room, with no one to turn to for comfort at the momentーall of this is what Chrysalis feels.
I've been so spoiled.
While my best friendーmy sisterーfights through her agony, I sit basking in the sunlight of love and care. While Chrysalis smiles through her pain and tears, I wallow in the pitiful shallowness of my problems.
All I've wanted is to make Chrysalis happy. I had only seen her smiles. I'd never seen her tears. I never dug deeper. I dream of the day when we could play together without any pain, without any heartbreak. I dream of the day when Chrysalis can learn to love as I have. It's not true, but, God, how I wish it was. How I wish I had seen it.
How I wish I hadn't been so blind.
ー
This is bliss.
This is all I've ever wanted, all I've ever hoped for. It's as if my unrequited love has been healed, and the days of loneliness and sorrow are over. As if I can finally be by the side of the one I love.
At least, it should be.
Why do I feel this way? I smile to Shining, but inside I am hesitant. I laugh and nod, but inside I lie in my puddle of tears. How ungrateful I am. I'm finally given the chance of a lifetime, but I waste it harboring feelings of sadness. What causes my pain?
Half-conscious and lost in my thoughts, Shining says, "I love you, Cadence."
At this, I wake. No. No, this shouldn't be happening.
Don't say these things to me. I'm not the one you love. Why are you so kind? You are more than I could ever dream. After years, and years, and years, I've forced myself to believe a lie. Don't talk to me like that. This isn't right. No. A tear rolls down my cheek, and I see a startled Shining lurch forward, taking my hoof. I snap, and I yank my hoof away.
He staggers back, surprised. I only stare at him, horrified. This shouldn't be happening. No, no, no, no.
No.
It's time to end my unrequited love.
I gallop back to the castle, tears streaming behind me. My breathing becomes erratic, and I feel my heart punching my rib cage. Soon after, I hear the rhythmic hoofbeats of somepony chasing after me. I immediately know it's Shining Armor, chasing after me. Noー
Chasing after Cadence.
I unravel my wings and take to the sky, where I know he won't follow me. The wind blows through my mane, a feeling I haven't felt for so long. But my heart is too full with pain to feel satisfaction. As weakness blankets my body, my spell wears off, my own skin beginning to expose. How horrible I am. I've ruined Shining and Cadence's relationship, and I've become selfish and ungrateful.
I land on the balcony of Cadence's room as a worried mare rushes to help me in.
"Chrysalis! Chrysalis, what happened? Are you alright? Where's Shining Armor?" Cadence bombards me with questions, a concerned crease of her brows forming on her forehead.
I look up with a sad smile. "I'm sorry," are the only pitiful words I say.
Cadence widens her glistening eyes, filling with tears. More tears fall from my own eyes.
"No, Cadence. Smile. Smile like you always have. Please."
Cadence shakes her head. "How can I smile when all you've done is fight?"
"Smile," I say.
She squeezes her eyes shut and releases me from the embrace she had given me. She opens her eyes as tears stream from her eyes. Her lips form into a smile.
Not a smile of happiness, or joy, or pleasure.
It was a smile of pain, agony, sorrow, loneliness.
Who knew that it would be the last smile I ever saw from her?
Chrysalis bounds towards me with a cheerful smile on her face. "Good morning, Chrys! Did you sleep well?" she asks me.
I smile sleepily, rubbing my left eye with my forehoof and nodding. "Yeah, more or less."
She beams and asks me giddily, "That's good, because guess what day it is?"
I turn my head and squint at the calendar. "Tuesday?"
"No, silly!" she laughs. "September 3rd! You know what that means!"
I stare at her groggily. "Two days after September 1st?"
Her smile drops to a face that says, "Are you for real?"
I chuckle with an exasperated sigh. "Okay, okay, what's today? Just tell me."
She facehoofs and laughs joyously. "It's your birthday, idiot!"
I fall off my bed, screaming. I pop my head up from over the edge. "That's today?!"
She laughs again. "Come on. Let's get you all pretty," she says, pushing me over to my bathroom. "We're gonna go celebrate."
"Where?"
"You'll see."
-
I only trotted forward, unsure of where to go, and unsure of where we were. I am blindfolded, and I can hear Cadence's breath in the silence. I feel uneasy.
"Cadence?"
"Hm?" she replies.
"Where are we?"
"Almost there." There is a long pause and more walking.
As we walk, the smooth crystal sidewalk beneath my feet turn to earthen soil and grass. I feel leaves crunch beneath my feet. It's nearly autumn, and I imagine the beautiful colors of the red, orange, and brown leaves dancing from the treetops.
"And. . . Here we are!" Cadence says, relieving my eyes of the cloth.
I stagger back, breath-taken in awe. I feel tears coming to my eyes. "It's beautiful," I want to say, but the words vanished into the chilly autumn air and up to the dawn-stained sky.
The sky. It glimmered red and orange like the leaves, splitting the dark night sky with its shining rays of joy, which dazzled and shone on the vast water. It painted the sky in hues of a flame, vibrant and colorful with beauty.
The scene now in front of me is all I can see and think of. I stand on the hilly banks of a lake, looking down on the sparkling, calm waters. The mountains and trees that bordered the far side of the lake were reflected of the water's surface, shaking with the waves. We stood in the opening of a forest tainted the colors of the sunset. The morning was a fire.
"Well, it's not much, but it's the best I could do without getting caught," Cadence said sheepishly.
I turned towards her tearfully, squeezing her tight into a hug. "No, no, Cadence. It's amazing! I love it!"
At this, Cadence beams, tears of joy forming at the corners of her beautiful, glistening eyes. "I'm so happy!" She squeezes me back, laughing.
We pull away from each other, and after a moment of staring at each other with gentle smiles, Cadence breaks the gaze and looks out over the lake, sighing. She closes her eyes and inhales the fresh breeze that was now picking up, and sighs again.
"Do you remember?" she asks me, not taking her eyes off the sparkling water. I stare at her, blinking confusedly. "No, I don't. Well, it depends on what you're referring to."
She now returns her gaze back to me. "You don't? All this time, Chrys. After all I've done for you," she says, her gentle smile slowly deforming into a scowl. "Why, Chrysalis? I trusted you! How could you? Why? Why? Answer me!" Her face was now painted with rage and the tears of joy now turned to tears of sorrow. The scenery of the beautiful landscape, with the trees, birds, and lake burned. All of it. It burned until there was nothing, only black wasteland. The glistening, shimmering rays of sunlight were now gone, faded away by the blanket of ash circulating the air around us.
"Cadence?"
"Don't say my name! I don't want to be with you! I hate you!"
Cadence, slowly, before my eyes, disappeared into a cloud of bright dust, carried away by the rough and humid breeze. "Cadence!"
As I stare into the dark sky, clouded with ash, my eyesight blurs. I feel something something moist on my cheek, but I don't care. Cadence is leaving me, is all I can think.
"Cadence!"
-
My eyes snap open. The first thing I see is the sky. It looks no different than the ashen sky of the dream. It was no dream: it was reality.
Because of my own selfish reasons, I was separated from Cadence. I don't remember anything but the last memory, a faint vision, of Cadence and Shining Armor, a glowing aura around them, and suddenly I being pushed away by some force I couldn't see or feel; the last thing I hear is a scream, hoarse and disgusting, from my wretched mouth. I try to recall my memories, but every time I try, a sharp pain pricks at my head, and I wince.
I feel tired. Fatigued, weak. I feel as if all the energy has been drained from my body. I feel like I've been stretched and wrung of all my blood, even though I have no scratches. Nearby, I see another changeling, laying on its side, eyes half open. The changeling smiles quietly at me. "My queen," it says to me, voice weak and small. "Take what energy I have left. My life is only lived for you." I have no strength to question the changeling. I use as much energy as I can to extract the energy from the other changeling. As the last bit of glowing green is pulled from its body, a sigh escapes its lips, and the body falls to the ground, lifeless.
As I sit up, I feel the hard, coarse soil beneath me, barren and dry. I look around. Dead trees and dark hills and mounds scatter the land in every direction for miles and miles. There seems to be no end. The world around me looks as if it glows green and black in my colors. Is this my land? Is this my title, what I rule? Do I rule the desolated lands of hell?
Hell is not fire. It is not flame. It is much, much worse. It is isolation. Lonely, cruel, cold, dark. Hell does not burn your flesh. It twists your insides, smashing your skull into the depths of depression. The colors of hell are not the vibrant and warm colors of red, orange, and yellow; they are black. They are the darkest shade of black; a color darker than darkness.
It is dark, yet I see everything. I see the unmoving bodies of changelings of my own kind, smaller and them genderless. I see dead trees, dead soils, dead air. Nothing is left alive.
Is this my fate? Hell?
In the darkness I hear a voice from everywhere, echoing.
Chrysalis.
The voice is familiar.
Chrysalis.
It calls again. I try to distinguish the voice. I've heard it before. So many times before. But from who?
One last time, it calls, louder and so clear above my clouded and screaming thoughts. Chrysalis.
Cadence.
I look around frantically, but my efforts are in vain; I see nothing. "Cadence!" I scream as loud as I can. "Cadence, where are you?"
Chrysalis.
"Answer me!"
Stop.
I do so, an unseen force compels me.
"Cadence?"
The voice is gone. I look in the sky, desperate. I scream Cadence's name. No answer. I scream again, over and over, until blood trickles down the sides of my mouth. In disgust, I spit the blood, coughing and hacking my lungs. I collapse to the ground of wariness.
I am still conscious, and I look to the sky. The clouds are still and frozen, forever blocking the sun's bright and welcoming rays. Actually, I don't know what time it is. Day or night, I don't know. Does hell have time?
My head lolls to the side, and a tear passes my muzzle and onto the dirt. Blood softly flows from the corner of my mouth. My chest hurts. It hurts from the screaming, from the heartbreak. My chest aches from the realization that my blindness of unrequited love has lost me a friend, a playmateー
A sister.
I'm lost. I can't see. My vision is blurring. Where am I? I can't see? What's happening?
My panicked thoughts are halted, and my eyes snap wide. In front of me, walking towards me, is a glowing figure. Is it really?
Cadence.
I want to jump up and hug her, but my body thinks otherwise. I lay still, only staring at Cadence, a soft, grateful, and sorrowful smile plays on my lips. I don't want her to see me. She hates me. I don't want her to see me like this. I want to run away, towards, away, towards her. But my body thinks otherwise.
She stops before me. I muster all my strength to tilt my head up to see her. My eyes are half closed, my eyelids are heavy. Cadence smiles and says the words that I only ever wanted to hear, the words that I've only ever heard her say to me. She is the only on to say them to me.
I sigh, giving a small laugh, and tears stream endlessly from my eyes. I begin to sob softly, until I can hold back mo more. As Cadence disappears into dust before me, like in my dream, I wail, screaming and reaching out to her. My throat burns from the pain, but I don't care. I want her by my side. Sister. The only family I ever had.
The last thing I ever see before falling asleep to never wake again are the dark colors of hell, blurred and unseen.
-
My eyelids lift, hoping to find myself at home, safe and warm with Cadence; hoping to forget the nightmare, hoping to start over; hoping that everything was just a dream, that I had never met Shining Armor, Cadence, that I had never been adopted.
But, no.
I open my eyes to darkness, this time, to dark even for me to see. I see nothing, as if my eyes were closed. But, my eyes are wide open. I take a step forward. I gasp as memories of before I woke in the barren wasteland flood my mind, and my knees buckle as the images and flashes of light blind me and overwhelm me. I scream, forgetting my hoarse throatー
But I feel no pain.
I try and scream louderー
But I hear no sound.
I can't feel my beating heart, and I can't hear my ragged breaths. I don't think about that, though. My mind is only focused on the overflowing memories. I remember now.
Cadence smiled sadly, both of us sobbing apologetically, and everything after is only a blur: I teleported away, not caring where I went to; it didn't matter where, just not here. I found myself in a dark cave. I sat on a throne, facing an immense crowd of poniesー changelings.
They praised me as a leader, and with my army, I lost my sense, and terrorized Cadence's wedding. I enslaved Cadence in the caves beneath Canterlot, a place where we would go as fillies.
Next thing I know, I'm flying through the air. I lost consciousness somewhere, and I wake in the wasteland.
As the memories return, I cry. No tears come out. But I cry. I cry, but I feel no emotion. I'm confused. Why?
I stagger at a thought: I am dead.
Am I? So, this is what death looks like. Hell is dark. Hell does not give the luxury of light, or flame, or heat. It is blank, dark. I will be driven mad here. I will be here forever, mad and alone. For eternity, I will remain here.
I remember the mentors at the orphanage, the kind ones, spoke about Heaven, about its riches and luxury. The gates of pearl and the streets of gold. How everything was pure, and everything was perfect.
But now, I know of no Heaven; Heaven cannot exist, because a perfect world is impossible. There can be no world of happiness, peace, or love. Nothing is real. Things like romance, friendship, serenityー they are all aesthetic factors of life, all fake and plastic.
I will be driven mad, haunted by my sins, haunted with demons of the past: and I will become one of them. I will become one of the wretched demons and monsters that roam the lives of fillies. My story will be told as a warning to children: "If you don't sleep, the changelings will come and eat you at night."
And I know I deserve it.
Suddenly, I remember the last thing that Cadence said to me.
And I cry. I cry harder than any time I ever had before. I cry harder than when I found Shining Armor's love for Cadence. I cry harder than my final parting with Cadence. I cry, but no tears come out.
Have you ever cried so hard that your tears dried at your eyes?
The last words that Cadence said, the last three words that I ever heard and ever will hear, gentle and forgiving, the words that only Cadence has ever said to me, the words I will never hear again:
