The Lamp That Cared
Pinkie Pie was in the zone... More than that actually; she was the zone.
As both the party planner and a party-goer, she was the lifeblood of the party whether or not its spotlight shone on her. And when she wanted, she could just disappear from plain sight and nopony would notice her as she slowly and inconspicuously inched towards her target.
Off to the side, Fluttershy and Rarity idly talked about going to the spa the next day and coming together to experiment on some designs. Applejack and Rainbow Dash unsurprisingly continued to hoof-wrestle for the umpteenth time this afternoon. Watching the two mares, the CMC hollered and rooted them on, the spirit in their cheers unwavering. Twilight and a still skeptical Spike on the Princess’ behest were convincing the few other ponies willing to attend the “Super-Duper-Congratulations-On-Reforming-Discord” party that the guest of honor had completely reformed.
Speaking of the devil himself, there Discord was by the punch, suddenly looking happy and receptive, waving to the open air for no particular reason whatsoever.
He kept a reassuring distance so as not to startle those invited. As Discord munched on a salad of his own making, he sat there placidly as he lost himself to the chaos of his thought-scape. But the pink shadow that stalked him overestimated her abilities. Of course he knew what she was doing and why she was there to begin with. Above all that, he knew what she wanted and he was holding it in the palm of his paw. A few choice words to light her short-fused attention span were all it would take.
And if Pinkie really wanted it, he’d let her have it.
A sneak…
A swipe…
Munch, chew, munch…
And swallow...
* * *
The cherry pink door creaked and moaned from the force it held back, a rich, brown puddle slowly forming at its foot. More of it leaked through growing cracks and splinters, and the puddle eventually spread throughout the hallway and dripped all the way down to the first floor.
The first to notice this was Carrot Cake. He was busying himself with the procedures of making sweets and pastries as well as good old bread despite the shelves being uncharacteristically overstocked. He passed a worried look on to his wife, Cup Cake, who returned it as she stood her post at the cashier. She tended to the foals who were fast asleep in their crib nearby as well as this one customer brave enough to order on the go. They exchanged few words having worked this routine for years now, and the lack of chattering patrons munching on their purchases only added to the tension in the air. But this calm facade of theirs belied a hidden anxiety, and considering their most recent guest and his chaotic tendencies, they were handling it quite well.
The strain was too great for the door, however, and along with it, their resolve to keep their front up buckled under the pressure. A torrent of chocolate milk flooded out into the hallway and down into the bakery, damage to their home slash business establishment substantial yet bearable.
In the wake of this delicious, chocolaty disaster, Discord waded on his easy-chair made of clouds through the chaos. He kept up a discerning eye while stroking his goatee with a talon.
Grinning widely, he jovially lauded at the sight of Bonbon and her purchase of a baker’s dozen of king rolls haphazardly sticking out of her mane. Though seeing the draconequus herself, she bolted out the door as fast as her hooves could take her rather than accept the applause she deserved for her display. Moving on, Discord tutted disappointingly at seeing Mrs. Cake, as if he expected more from her. The mare was only dizzy and doubled over past her side of the counter with only a mane drenched in chocolate to show for. Then his judging gaze settled on Mr. Cake who looked back at him with a frightful stare. He held fast to his foals still sleeping soundly in their crib. Fight or flight unanimously joined him in cowering since any sort of action against chaos incarnate was utterly futile. But when he awaited the worst from the draconequus, what followed surprised him instead.
“Bravo young ones, bravo indeed,” he said in a hushed volume so as to not awaken the twins from their slumber.
“And I should know-” He interrupted himself as he reached into his cloud momentarily. Then he pulled out a pair of swirly lollipops for the toddlers to enjoy when they awaken. He gave the treats to their father, their prize for winning this impromptu contest which was shakily accepted. “The best kind of chaos is chaos unexpected.”
His fun had, Discord then floated into the bakery proper, went up the stairs, and down the hallway, stopping just before Pinkie’s room as he turned to holler, “And I do apologize for my trouble!”
By a snap of his paw, the chocolate faded out of existence, not a drop or scent of the flood remaining. Fragile glasswares broken, baking ingredients sullied and wasted, and furniture soaked and on their sides; all were magickally righted and set back to their proper placements and setups, clean and dry. And somewhere out in Ponyville, a mare tripped over a bag of bread which suddenly materialized out of thin air when the loaves in her mane disappeared.
With the mess taken care of, Discord entered the room and turned his undivided attention to the indisposed party pony who laid in bed, each and every strand of her mane and tail as straight as could be. It seemed the sugar-coated extravaganza Discord had laid out for her missed its mark completely.
“Oh come on!” he said bafflingly as he settled by her bed. “After all that and not even a peep? And you’re supposed to be the Element of Laughter.”
He craned his head down slightly to inspect her fur. It was still that mute and lifeless grey that it had become, no color remaining on her but the ‘pink’ in her name. The mare only looked back with a distant expression in the stead of that perpetual smile she wore, the annoyed, deadpan line on her lips completely alien on her. Caught off guard by this predictable and inanimate response from Pinkie Pie of all ponies, Discord retreated a bit with a sheepish grin and thought to apologize. Only now did the effects of the Poison Joke seems so dire and he started to regret his actions. The amusing effects from walking through a brush of the magickal weed were easy enough to tend to, only ever taking a special mud bath to alleviate. As for those other than Discord himself eating Poison Joke, well…the complications would escalate in severity by an exponentially drastic degree.
“Well I do suppose I’m to fault for all this,” Discord said, twiddling his mismatched fingers together. Her annoyance abating, Pinkie didn’t say anything more, and neither did the draconequus prod any further.
In the brief and awkward silence, the proverbial light bulb as well as a literal one lit up atop his head, and Discord ah-ha’d when it came to him. With a special case like Pinkie Pie’s, an idea as simple as it was convoluted and spontaneous might just work. Off his cloud he went as he stood up on his hind limbs. Discord then proceeded to rub his palms together at such extreme speeds that light bent around them. He then thrust both of his arms into his cloud and rummaged the unseen storage space for whatever it was he was looking for.
Pinkie Pie remained uncharacteristically still as he did, only sparing him a neutral glance as the clutter behind him turned into a pile. Her own thoughts were equally apathetic. No thoughts of parties, presents, kumquats or any sort of silly tangents raced through her mind as they usually did, nor was there any trace of that infectious exuberance that spread the joy and laughter she was well known for. At the foot of her bed, Gummy sat almost constantly. He only ever left to greet those girls who came to visit or approach the Cakes when they came to feed him. He had been watching her since she came home like this over a week ago. Looking at her, his scaly brows arched ever so slightly with worry at the sight of her so sullen, this change in his features so miniscule only the former likes of his owner and friend could ever take notice. The purple one said she would find a cure before long, but the others eventually stopped coming altogether, unable to bear seeing their friend like this. Maybe they had gone on a quest to look for this cure?
“Aha! There you are,” Discord announced as he pulled out from the cloud and fell back into the dresser. This caught Gummy’s attention while Pinkie only rolled over in bed to the opposite direction, wanting to be spared the draconequus’ outrageous antics or whatever else he had planned.
When he got up, in his paw was a seemingly normal looking yet smallish balanced-arm lamp while a flashy-looking ball was gripped with the other paw… or talon rather.
Proudly setting down his findings on the floor, he stroked his goatee pretentiously as if there were somepony around to question his mad genius and wonder whether or not these things he brought out would be helpful at all. And as for Gummy himself, surprise didn’t show past his usual passive expression.
“Well then, I’ll leave you to sort Pinkie out of her knots,” the draconequus decidedly directed at the items he placed down, eliciting a rare reaction from Gummy, a tilt of his head. He approached the alligator, picked him up despite his protests of gnawing at his paw, and boarded his cloud reshaped into an easy-chair, drifting toward the door.
“We’ll see ourselves out now, my little reptile. Wouldn’t want to interrupt their little talk,” Discord coaxed in vain. As per his namesake, Gummy continued to gum Discord into letting him stay, but the obvious lack of teeth didn’t exactly help him get his intentions across.
“And Twilight did explicitly mention to notify her of any and all developments.”
The door went shut as if to end and dot that sentence, not a sound was heard through its wood. Relative silence to returned to the room, leaving the once hyperactive, now reclusive mare alone to stir her thoughts.
* * *
It was high noon now, and Pinkie began to feel warm under the covers. She only ever put them on to shield herself from that crazy draconequus and his obnoxious attempts to buddy up with her. She had napped for about an hour or so after he left with her pet, but that didn’t do anything to help her mood. Pushing the sheets away, she briefly pondered on inspecting the lamp and finding out why he was talking to it but set them aside like the covers. Must’ve been the insanity catching up with him after a thousand years in a stone prison.
Pinkie sat up and turned for the pitcher of water on the bedside table to get a drink. She caught a glimpse of a certain object which she hadn’t seen before on the floor right in front of her. Pinkie had never seen this lamp in her life, and it barely reached half a foreleg. Was this the thing Discord was sure would fix her? Not that she needed fixing; Pinkie only wanted to be left alone. Also, she could have sworn he placed it on the other side of the room. As she looked around, some small part of Pinkie suspected that Discord only turned himself invisible and moved it to get her spooked or to lighten up. But the rest of her just didn’t want to give a buck for him, this thing he left or anything else anymore.
It all seem so pointless now.
Then a glint of the lamp’s specular surface caught her eye, and her attention was drawn to it whether she wanted or not. Pinkie bent down to take a closer look. Rather than her own reflection, memories of the incident flashed on its specular surface.
The streamers blotting the lights, enough games to last them the entire day, the elaborately themed décor and set-up, even the hundred-layer pancake-cake that Discord requested; it all seemed so clear. Like every single one before it, she had put everything she had into that party, and yet Discord hadn’t seemed pleased with anything, saying things still didn’t quite suit his tastes and then deciding to fix something up that would. Pinkie Pie had taken it hard and insisted on a taste of his salad, impulsively going as far as to sneak a bite. It was only then her Pinkie Sense kicked in as the peculiar, blue leaves coarsely slid down her throat and was recognized to be Poison Joke. But it was already too late.
As the vision faded, Pinkie stood there confused. She then shook her head to rid herself of the meaningless thoughts.
“Hey! You there!” a young, foal-like voice called out of nowhere. Rearing up in surprise, Pinkie stumbled against the bed and fell down the other side. The voice patiently waited for the birds circling the pony to fly off before speaking up again.
“Whoa, no need to be scared. Just trying to get your attention,” it said with clunky-sounding hops to get into her upturned view. “I am just a lamp.”
“So I noticed,” Pinkie replied, none too pleased from her uncomfortable pose. The fact that it moved didn’t fazed her; whether Discord had a claw in this, she didn’t want to care. Not sure whether to call it a he or a she, she opted to refer to it as a neutral 'he' for the time being.
“So this must be why Discord brought you up. You’re magickal, aren’t you?” Pinkie asked.
“Not sure about magick. Can’t normally talk to fleshy folks like you if that’s what you mean,” the lamp said. The joints of his frame squeaked as it gestured in a lively manner to prove its point. The mare he spoke to had her hooves to her temples, massaging a headache that wasn’t there.
“Ugh… Must be a withdrawal from all the sugar,” Pinkie said, paying no heed to the talking lamp as she slinked into bed.
“And by the way, my name’s Luxo. What’s—“
A pink hoof swiftly rose to interrupt him and the Grumpy-Gwen stated her piece, “Zip it, kid. I frankly don’t care enough to know your name, much more remember it.”
She didn’t even look at him as she settled down to bed again and rolled to one side. Pinkie inwardly hoped the lamp couldn’t read her thoughts. Hearing nothing but her own inner voice, she was satisfied to tune-in to the deaf quietude of her own mind. He was still there, however.
Luxo observed the mare’s strange lack of interest in him, clanking as he hopped around to get a better view of her. In his world, objects like him would instantly get the front page on paper. It’d last about a week till the masses convinced themselves that the gravity of the earth had done it, or that ghosts actually existed or some other nonsensical reason. Now this one pony sees him moving as well as talking without so much as a mouth to talk with, and she wouldn’t even spare him a curious thought.
‘Tough crowd,’ he reckoned.
After all, she was a talking, pink pony who was supposed to be to a restless, high-spirited, unbridled ball of pure fun. She must have seen stranger things herself.
‘Goat-face did promise me a really good friend to play with though.’
And then the idea struck him as plain as day. Luxo hunched down. He surveyed the floor on the other side for his ball from underneath the bed. It was still there; a brightly gleaming, yellow ball ringed by a thick strip of calm blue with a hero red star turning a slight orange against the sun’s rays. That much heat couldn’t be good for the plastic.
As Luxo made his way back to the other side, Pinkie Pie drowned out his squeaky hops, letting the rising tide of silence take her into the tranquil ocean. The farther out she went though, the more the waters didn’t seem like water. The ocean had turned into a meadow filled with nothing but these beautiful blue flowers. Tranquil ocean or quiet blue meadow, it didn’t matter however. There in the soundless depths of her mind, she could let it all go, forget and just stay still…. Yeah, stay still and let that that deep, deep blue swallow her who—
"Oof!"
A sudden pounce on her back knocked her out of that drowsy spiral, the cover of blankets doing nothing to impede its force. Pinkie tried to find those calming shadows again, but repeated strikes from this pouncing menace kept her awake. She could stand it no longer.
Rising from the covers, Pinkie wore such a look that defined ‘infuriated’ in every sense of the word, and the air around her turning crisp with a faint sizzle. The bouncing bombardment didn’t stop at that, however, and the small lamp stood there in an amazement rivaling her boiling rage. He watched the ball reflect off the pony’s head then off some wall, beam or any sort of surface only to return and bounce off her again from whatever direction it came. The plastic ball had been fashioned to look flashy, and the odd turn of events only seemed to testify that as the truth, ricocheting on and off like some speeding thing that could go really fast and blurry and not acting like normal ball should. If anypony else had been there, no doubt they’d laugh too.
“Ahahahhahaha! Look at you!” Luxo said.
The chortle that sounded off from him was louder than what his size apparently implied him capable of, and his joints squeaked with every throw and pull of his head as he laughed. Every fiber of his supposedly inanimate frame was rocked and tickled by the hilarity at Pinkie Pie’s expense, a laugh she certainly didn’t enjoy giving. And it was good that he was so engrossed at the sheer silliness. Otherwise he’d have noticed several times how dangerously fast his bulb came close to hitting the floor, only to stop and reel back just in time before the surfaces made contact.
The lamp laughing was the final straw.
Amidst the barrage of strikes to her head and face, Pinkie whispered, “You better run.”
“Oh, wha—“
Luxo shot up in the nick of time, barely missing the mane of the pony who angrily charged at him and slammed into a wall. Landing on her rump, he said, “Tag! You’re It!”
“You little—sdkfnkng!!” Though she moved away, the ball didn’t stop ricocheting on things and it hit her square in the jaw.
“Now the ball’s It! He’s pretty good at tag so now YOU better run!” Luxo giddily shouted.
“Grrrr—AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!”
“Uh-Oh.”
Luxo jumped off the pony and made a beeline for the dresser. Though with his slow paced hobbles, he didn’t exactly get there as fast as a bee. The much larger pony could’ve easily caught up with him, but that ball homed in on her every move, knocking objects into her path as well as hitting her good in the muzzle. Luxo squeakily dove under the dresser, feeling safe amongst the dust bunnies. But Pinkie easily broke the furniture down like styrofoam. She dove after him but the ball got in her way again or that is to say, her face, giving the lamp time to dash toward the sink. Caught by the linen stored in what was once the dresser, Pinkie threw the rubble out the window and ripped the cloths that bound her, giving chase to the lamp and not a thought to the mess in the making. Blinded by her anger, Pinkie didn’t notice the ball hitting a floorboard particularly hard, causing it prop up and trip her. Seeing her slide his way, Luxo started hopping for the bed just in time as the pony crashed into where he just stood. As she got up on her hooves, Pinkie hit her head against the sink causing her to wince and her fury to reach its limit.
Enough was enough.
Hoping to lose her, Luxo planned to jump over the bed and disappear under it, intent on waiting there for this to blow over. Unfortunately at the height of his jump, Pinkie leapt at him that exact moment, her prey now well in her grasp.The ball aimed to strike at Pinkie again and give the lamp a chance to get away, but she caught it deftly with her frog and popped it like a balloon.Luxo struggled in her tightening grip which he found odd since she lacked fingers.
Pinkie gave the cause of her ire such a stare that if looks could kill, the living household appliance would surely have melted in her hooves. Too impatient to wait for the universe to suddenly grant her heat vision, Pinkie Pie decidedly put more pressure on her hooves.
Realizing there wasn’t much time left for him, Luxo swiveled his head to face the angry pony.
“Look. I'm sorry I made you mad,” Luxo apologized. Words didn’t reach her as the pony’s blue eyes sparked into an inferno and her pink face became flustered with an intense red venting out onto her skin and showing through her fur.
“My Dad always says I have a bit of an insensitive side,” he recalled apologetically. Luxo felt her pressing down on his small frame, the metal bending at the strength of earth pony muscle.
“I'm really sorry. So I’ll come back to play when you aren’t so—“
SNAP!! The balanced-arm lamp in her hooves spoke no more, falling to the ground in pieces. His light bulb shattered upon impact. The filament flickered for a moment and then faded out completely. It was Pinkie’s turn to laugh now.
“Ha.”
“Ahaha.”
“Ahahahahahahahahahahahah!”
Pinkie Pie laughed and laughed and laughed, losing herself in a strong feeling of satisfaction. The rageful red of her face flushed out as a misty steam from her ears and mouth, faintly tinted a hypnotizing blue. More and more of it seeped out from the mare as she laughed, the poofiness returning to her mane and tail as it did.
“Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!”
As the cheery cherry pink returned to her face, the malevolent mist rose to the ceiling untouched by the havoc but disappeared as regretful sigh before it could reach any form of new soil and bloom.
“Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha—“
As her laughing died down, Twilight Sparkle burst into to the room. Seeing her friend giggling maniacally in the middle of the disaster zone her room had become, she rushed at her and grabbed her by the shoulders, fearing the worst. The draconequus in tow slowly trailed behind, his strange sense of tact and timing advising him it wasn’t time for him to enter the scene just yet.
“Pinkie! Pinkie Pie, are you alright?” the unicorn asked as she shook some sense into the earth pony.
“Ahaheheh... Yeah, eheh. I’m fine Twilight,” Pinkie said, her face sort of aching when her smile broke a week’s worth of frowns.
“I was just playing with my new friend, Luxo.”
“Luxo?” Twilight asked, having not heard the name before. “Is he somepony new in town?”
“Luxo isn’t a pony, silly. He’s a—“
The joy of introducing a friend to a friend shattered like glass when Pinkie looked down to the broken lamp and registered what had happened.
“Luxo!” Pinkie said taking hold of what remained of him, trying to fit the damaged pieces. “I-I didn’t know what I was doing! But don’t worry, I can fix you!”
The party pony sat there attempting to do something clearly out of her field. When they didn’t come together, she frantically picked up another piece and dropped the one she just held, causing the smaller bits to scatter or mix in with the debris of the room. Twilight didn’t say anything, not wanting to make it worse. Worry loomed on her that Pinkie might relapse if it were possible.
“Gah!” Pinkie cried when her hoof slipped and cut against a sharp piece. “Uhh… I know! Twilight can fix you!”
Twilight’ eyes widened with surprise at the assumption. “Pinkie, I don’t think I—”
“You have to fix him! I know you can!” Pinkie desperately said, handing her the pieces.
With the chance of a relapse hanging over her head, Twilight caved in to the request to see what she could do. Fixing something with magick meant that you’d need to be familiar with what you’re dealing with. And Twilight obviously knew the basic schematics of a normal lamp, but judging from what Discord had told her, it could have been more than just a simple lamp. She had to try though.
“Ummm… Well, here goes nothing,” Twilight hesitantly started, working for around half an hour as Pinkie Pie anxiously watched. Putting it back together was as easy as a jigsaw puzzle. After welding a few critical pivots together and stretching the paint to cover the patchy surfaces, it was good as new.
“Thank goodness! You’re all better!” Pinkie said, letting go the bated breath she didn’t know she held.
“Luxo?”
But he did not move.
“You’re all fixed up now…”
He did not speak.
“Why aren’t you moving?”
He did not come back.
“I thought so,” Twilight furtively whispered so as not to let her hear, having deduced such an outcome. No doubt she’d know how a simple lamp worked. Reading so many books, she had become curious of the matter soon enough. Twilight could fix it but whatever magick that may have powered it before could not be replaced.
“Luxo?” Pinkie muttered as she tried tightening his light bulb. His head sagged slightly from an unsecured joint, but other than that, there was no response.
As Pinkie fur soaked in the tears she shed while she held the lifeless lamp close, her mane and tail turned limp and straight once more. She bawled in the guilt of having done something so terrible and cruel to a friend, one she had just met no less. Twilight neared the sobbing mare, offering a consoling embrace. She kept silent, not wanting to her hurt by the logic of her hollow words.
As Pinkie wept, the volume of her cries masked the creaking of the door opening to let Discord in. Stopping right before them, Discord bent down to put a paw on her shoulder, his face solemn for what had to be done.
“Discord,” Pinkie said past her sobs when he made himself known. “Y-you can fix him… can’t you?”
“I don’t know,” the draconequus replied without much pause.
But she stubbornly persisted, “But he can be fixed… can he?”
“He can’t,” he replied, again in the same manner, this time shaking his head.
Sadness welled inside Pinkie Pie’s mourning heart. There was so much of it that it was brimming and ready to spill out as another salty shower of-
“Not here anyway.”
“Then where?!” she pleaded, clinging to this final ray of hope.
He brought up his arms to her attention. Something clicked in Pinkie’s mind as she recalled how he brought him here.
“…”
“We’ll give you five minutes,” said Discord, coaxing Twilight to join him outside the room. The unicorn had begun talking to him, snippets of their conversation carrying through the door that hung ajar. Pinkie paid no attention to them, her mind focused on stringing words into an apology for her unforgivable act. Tears fell on the lamp as she looked to him and said her farewell.
“I’m… so sorry for all this,” Pinkie began, managing to hold down her sobs.
“You were brought here alone with no clue. You were supposed to be scared of being taken...and scared for meeting such a meanie-pants of a pony. But you were so, so nice and... I-I…” A large lump caught in her throat as she struggled to finish.
“I broke you!”
She held him tight, tighter than when her family congratulated her for her cutie mark, tighter than when she first laid eyes on Gummy, tighter than when the Cakes reluctantly hired her and took her in, tighter than when she got to hold the Pumpkin and Pound for the first time, even tighter than all her group hugs with her dear best friends.
“You were such a good friend!”
At those words, she let it all out and wouldn’t let go. Pinkie thought of many things during those five minutes. She thought of the horrible things she had done; all those mean things she said, giving him the cold shoulder, the welcome party she didn’t throw from him, chasing him around the room, and finally breaking him in two. Then her thoughts shifted into a wistful, happier tone. She longed for the fun they would have had, the pranks they would have pulled, the adventures they would have gone on, and all the great friends he would have made. She mulled over this for what felt like an eternity as she held Luxo tight.
Deep in remorse, the sound of hooffalls went unheard. Discord’s talon fell on her shoulder, and she stifled her cries to face him.
“It’s time,” he said. “Twilight, if you will...”
Relinquishing Luxo to Twilight’s magickal grasp, she watched as they sent him off. Discord rubbed his palms and thrust them into his cloud, parting them to reveal a portal. Twilight looked back as she approached the opening, seeing Pinkie following close behind. This had been the saddest she had ever seen anypony and the saddest she had ever seen of her party pony friend, the liveliest and hardest to get down of their close-knit circle, heck, the whole darn town. Her heart went out to this lamp so dear to her friend, even though she didn’t get to know him.
Nearing the event horizon, Twilight’s horn gleamed and Luxo slowly drifted in. He hurtled further into the tunnel between worlds and Pinkie clutched her chest tight as he shrunk to the size of a pinpoint.
“Goodbye Luxo,” Pinkie Pie bid as he vanished completely and the portal closed.
“I’ll miss you.”
* * *
“Hey dad.”
“What is it?”
“I just had the weirdest dream.”
“What’s that?”
“...”
“Well? Speak up, son.”
“Nevermind… I forgot what it was.”
“Hehe. Well, tell me when you remember.”
“Hey, dad.”
“Mmhm?”