Alex "Lexi" Stone accidentally strikes Chrysalis while delivering pizzas. His punishment? To put up with her until she can return to Equestria, of course.
Alex Stone (Lexi to the haters at his workplace) is a pizza delivery man who has been down on his luck recently. Between a rather brutal break up and his dead end job, he just can't seem to catch a break.
So imagine just how much more complicated his life gets when he runs over a changeling!
A funny story I wanted to write about Chrysalis and a human companion who takes her in following the events of "A Canterlot Wedding"
Rated Teen, for drinking, running over a Changeling, some cursing, a few immature jokes, and maybe a little innuendo (depends on if I feel like adding it.) and some other weird stuff.
(Note: After careful consideration, I decided that adding the Romance tag was necessary. Don't expect too much, though. I'm awful at writing romantic stories.)
His eyes shifted from the dirt to her face as he felt himself lifted off the ground. He looked into her eyes, trying to find pity, remorse, understanding, anything really. All he saw was the cold stare, as if he was something beneath her, something to be destroyed.
“You don’t have to do this.” He pleaded with the changeling queen.
“Don’t I?” Chrysalis gave him a disbelieving stare. “If I don’t do this now, everypony will suffer, including my subjects, your precious Princess’s subjects and everypony in between.” She spat the word ‘princess’ with distaste, as though it was an unholy word.
“I can fix this! I can find a way to save you! Please don’t be this way!” He was desperate, clinging to every strand of hope he could find. Chrysalis ignored him and continued to walk, levitating him alongside her.
“This is for the best, you’ll see.” She tried to keep her voice level. “If I don’t do this, I’ll lose everything, including you. I don’t want that…it isn’t fair.” They had reached the exit to the hive, where changeling guards stood at the ready. She walked to the doorway and stood, staring out at the landscape before her. The rolling hills, the trees, even the great lake in the valley below. Far in the distance, you could even see the towers of Canterlot Castle, his home.
“I don’t want to leave! I’ll fight for you! Please let me stay, Chryssie!” He was begging now, tears rolling down his cheeks.
“I’m sorry about this. I really am. But this has to stop. You cannot stay with me any longer.” She sounded like the words were strangling her, but she continued to speak anyway. She was awarded with silence from her friend.
“I…love you…” He said at last, all the willpower drained from him.
Chrysalis kissed his cheek. “I know.” She whispered in a tearful voice. “I’m a changeling, remember?”
She began to cast a spell, magic weaving its way about her horn. Slowly he began to get engulfed in the magic himself; he gave her one last pleading look of apology before he vanished in a flash of light. And then Chrysalis was alone, save for the millions of voices in her head, all murmuring the same thing over and over again.
Alex stopped writing and rubbed his eyes. He had no idea what came after this point in the story. Did Chrysalis really miss him? Should he come back to the hive to save her from Celestia’s wrath? What would happen to him for working with the changeling queen? Alex didn’t have the faintest idea; it was too hard to think of ideas when his own life sucked too much.
He got up from his desk and looked around the small apartment. Even for such a cramped space, it still felt empty without her stuff here. All the lame CDs, the porcelain plates, hell, he even missed her dog. He wanted to think that he was over her, to think that he was better off without her. But in truth, he knew that he was lying to himself. He missed his girlfriend.
His phone began to ring, playing his favorite tune as it lay on the counter. He let it ring a couple of times before moving to answer it.
‘This day is going to be perfect, the kind of day of which I’ve dreamed since I was small.’
He snatched up the phone and answered it. To be frank, he wasn’t sure if any day would ever be perfect ever again.
“Hello?”
“Are you coming in today or what?” The person on the other line which wasn't hard for a short little Italian to do.
“Geez, Mr. Depachi, I’m feeling kind of sick. I’m thinking I’m going to stay home…” He replied lamely.
“Listen kid, you've been skipping work for over a week now, what’s gotten into you?” The old man demanded.
Alex didn't feel like explaining himself to anyone at this point. All he wanted was to be alone.
“I just have some heavy stuff at the moment, sir.”
“Tell you what, Alex. If you don’t come in today, then don’t bother coming in to work at all.”
Alex sighed audibly. As hard as things were right now, he still needed a job, or he’d be sad, alone and hungry.
“I’ll be there in ten minutes.” He told his boss before hanging up.
He grabbed his keys and stepped out the door, throwing one last glance at his computer. The story would have to wait until he got back. Hopefully, he might make some progress on it when he came home.
Then again, he thought as he closed the door. Maybe not.
Alex took the steps down to the bottom of his apartment building and stepped out into the cold. It was snowing tonight, and a cold wind whipped around. Alex shivered, and drew his coat around him. He got into his car, an old rusted sedan that still worked surprisingly well, and turned it on, sighing with relief as the engine roared to life, and the heat turned on. Slowly, he began the short commune to his workplace.
He took no notice of the city around him as he drove down the hallway. The city was lit up in preparation of Christmas, and the buildings were decked with colourful lights, ornaments and tinsel. Busy people hurried to and fro along the snow covered streets, as he stopped at a traffic light.
While he waited, he looked at the pedestrians, each with a happy grin or look of determination plastered onto their frostbitten faces. They all probably had families they were thinking of, or sweethearts to buy expensive gifts for. Meanwhile, Alex had nothing but his job and his stories that he just couldn’t seem to finish writing. Finally the traffic light changed and Alex snapped out of his misery long enough to continue driving onward.
He pulled to a stop in front of a cozy looking pizzeria, and got out. Inside, families sat around in booths, laughing and enjoying the cheesy pizza that Mr. Depachi had made. Mr. Depachi himself was in the kitchen when he arrived, so he had to deal with the clown working the register when he got there.
“Hey, Lexi, how come you’re late? Too busy watching My Little Pansy?” He was greeted with a sneer, and the traditional nickname of all the pizzeria’s staff. Everyone working for Mr. Depachi knew that he watched the show regularly, and they all made fun of him for it. It wasn't’ anything new; tons of people were mocked for liking the show, most of the time it was even worse than being mocked. But at least most people had friends to support them. Alex, on the other hand, was completely and totally alone against these jokers. Still, he tried his best not to let the insults get to him.
“Just give me an order, please.” He muttered in a resigned tone.
The clerk handed him a slip.
“Try not to chat up the little girls about their favourite pony.” He sneered. “Her parents might call the cops on you”
“Sure, whatever man.” He took the order and the pizzas and headed for the door.
“Have fun in the cold, Lexi!”
Alex stepped out into the cold again, hugging the stack of pizzas for warmth. Now that he was at work, he was starting to feel like his old self, strong, confident and dedicated. Or, at the very least, he didn't feel like a complete ass while he was on the job. He climbed into the car and fired up the engine, feeling better already. Looking at the first name on his list, he started driving to the address specified.
All night long, Alex worked hard getting the pizzas to where they need to go. It was easy work, and the grateful customers usually gave him a tip for “working so hard in this god-awful weather,” as one old lady put it. With closing time on the way and most of the other employees gone already, Alex was about to head home too, after one last delivery. He reviewed the delivery while he pumped gas.
The address was out of town, a small farm a few kilometers away. Alex wasn't big on traveling the highways in this weather, but the delivery had to be done. Maybe he could just explain to his boss that the roads were too treacherous? No, his boss was an honest, old fashioned man. He wouldn't leave a customer hanging. So there was no other choice; he had to deliver the pizza. He finished pumping gas and got into the car, trying to relax.
It’s just one more delivery, He told himself. Let’s just get it done, and go home.
He started out onto the highway, where things weren't as bad as he thought they would be. Yes it was dark and snow drifted across the road, but it wasn't nearly as awful as he had envisioned it. He allowed himself to relax, and his mind began to wander as he drove, reflecting the past few day’s events.
A while ago, Alex had been in love. He had a beautiful girlfriend, and they were very happy together. Money hadn’t been an issue, because she had been working as a nurse in a hospital and made a fair wage, and while he was still trying to get a job as a computer technician, he had the part time job at the pizza place. And even though they had lived paycheck-to-paycheck, they were happy together. But then things changed…
Alex continued to brood over his problems as he drove down the highway. He was nearing his destination, and the roads were beginning to get uglier. It was nearly impossible to see very far ahead of him now. He considered stopping, but it didn’t matter. He was almost there, just a few more miles to go…
Out of nowhere, a large black figure appeared in the road ahead. It was larger than a deer, with shiny black skin and a teal mane. Alex slammed on the brakes, but couldn’t find traction on the road. The creature whipped its head in his direction, eyes widening when they saw him barreling towards it. Alex gasped; he swore that he recognized the figure before him. But….it couldn’t be…
He didn't have time to confirm his suspicions as he slammed into the figure, knocking it into the ditch. Alex took a second to catch his breath, and realized his heart was racing. He was alive, but what he hit…what was it? He could have sworn it looked familiar, but there was no way it could have been…
He got out of the car slowly and walked over to the front of his car. The front of the car wasn't damaged damaged; he must have hit it lighter than he had thought. But if that was the case, how did it end up in the ditch? He cautiously approached the fallen figure lying in the side of the road. It wasn't moving, and it was difficult to identify in the dark. Looking around, to see if anyone was coming, then wrapped his arms around the foreign object. The body wasn't overly heavy, and he moved it with ease into the road, where he could see it with the help of his headlights. The body appeared to be riddled with large holes, not as if it had been shot, but rather the carapace was mottled to begin with. This only confirmed his suspicions further. Shaking, he rolled the body onto its back so he could see the face and nearly screamed with surprise.
The face was unmistakable, the mane easy to recognize. He was staring at a changeling, and not just any changeling. No, he had run over Queen Chrysalis herself. A fictional character, a cartoon of all things, had ended up in front of his car! But that was impossible. Changelings didn't exist; this thing should only exist in stories! So how on earth did he manage to strike one down? Her eyes were closed, which led him to believe that she was dead. So not only had he struck his favorite villain, but he’d killed her, too. But was this the real Chrysalis? Alex knew from experience that there were certainly a lot of alternate universes that this changeling could have come from, and that meant that this one could easily have been from one of those other worlds…but did it really matter where she came from? She was a fictional character from a TV show; she shouldn't be here at all!
Alex looked around, scanning for headlights. He had to move the body before anyone else saw it. If the police found it, she could be considered some kind of alien life form. Or the news would get a picture of her, and the entire brony community would get in an uproar. No, he couldn't risk that; he needed to move the body into his car, for now at least. He scooped her up in his arms; she was surprisingly light despite her size, and he was able to lift her fairly easily. He carried her into the car and just about set her down on the pizza. In all the excitement, he nearly forgot to deliver it. Carefully, he lay the body in the back seat of his car and climbed into the driver’s seat before closing the door.
He drove the rest of the way to the customer’s house as though he were on thin ice, but he reached the farmhouse relatively fast. Grabbing the pizza, he took a final glance at the broken creature sprawled across his seats, then closed the door and began to run towards the house, where he was greeted by an unhappy looking middle-aged man.
“You’re ten minutes late!” The angry, balding man growled.
“I’m awfully sorry for that sir.” He handed over the pizza, which the guy snatched from his hands.
“You should be! I’ve got three starvin’ kids whining to be fed here.” The man scolded.
Alex rubbed his neck awkwardly. “I’m sorry sir, I just hit a…deer a few miles back, and I had to move it out of the road.”
The man’s expression changed a bit.
“You hit a deer? How big was it?”
Alex considered this a moment. “Not very big; it didn’t damge my car much.”
“That’s good, then. I’d thought that you’d been hurt.” The man seemed guilty for shouting at him now, which made Alex feel a little better.
Not all people are bad, he thought. All it takes is a little mortal danger to bring everyone together.
“Once again, I’m sorry about being late. Hopefully the pizza isn’t too cold.” Alex accepted the payment for the pizza and turned around. He wanted to get back to the car and make sure that something was done about the body before anyone noticed it.
“Watch out for any more deer!” The man called after him. He merely raised a hand in acknowledgement and continued to walk through the snow.
Climbing back into his car, he took a look at the body, which hadn’t moved since he had left the car. He wasn’t worried that she was still alive; he was just hoping that he had actually run over a changeling, and had not gone totally insane. But it was a changeling, alright, from her gangly looking horn to her mottle black body.
He rubbed his temples as he tried to think. He couldn’t dump the body just anywhere. He would have to have it destroyed, or someone would surely find it. He considered the various ways he could get rid of it. If he wanted to, he could try filling his tub with acid and taking a hacksaw to her…no, he couldn’t do that. A hater might do it in a heartbeat, but this thing was still one of his favorite ponies. He supposed he could burn it, but he’d have to find a suitable place to set up a fire, and he couldn’t think of a single place to set it up at this time of year. He could bury it, but a man burying a corpse in the middle of a city was sure to cause trouble. The only option he had was to take her home with him, and bide his time until he could think of a way to get rid of the body.
He began driving home slowly, trying to avoid sliding off the road. He threw glances at the body occasionally, but it remained unmoving. He stopped only for red lights when he entered the town, and when he did, he tried to act casual, so that no one would give him or his car a second glance. He thought that someone had spotted the figure in the back gor a moment, but they had only been eying his front bumper. He made a mental note to get it fixed as soon as possible.
He couldn’t have gotten home fast enough, in his opinion. He pulled up to the front of his building and slumped in his seat with a sigh. No one had spotted him, now he only needed to get the corpse inside. But first, a quick breather was necessary. He took several calming breaths before he was ready to look behind him. Then, he painstakingly took hold of the changeling and began to pull her from her spot, and out of the vehicle.
Carrying her proved to be difficult. She was easily twice as long as he was tall, and she dragged against the floor wherever he went, leaving a strange looking imprint in the snow. He tried to cradle her like a child, but she was too big for that, and he it made him feel rather silly. Instead, he carried her in a fireman’s carry, and attempted to climb the stairs with her on his back. It worked well, and he got her into the apartment without any further trouble.
As soon as he got her into the apartment, he looked around for a place to put the body. He wanted her out of the way, somewhere where she might be safely tucked away for the next little while. He set her on the couch for a moment and went on a quick tour of the house, trying to find a decent place to hide her. His bedroom was a no-go; he needed to sleep in there. Besides, there was nowhere for her to be stashed; the closet was too small, and there was no space under his bed. The shower might do, but if she went in there, it might be a long while before he ever took one again. He considered hiding her behind his sofa, but if the body began to decay before he got it in the ground, the whole apartment would begin to stink of death.
He was considering putting her in the icebox down the hall when he heard voices coming from the living room. Turning white with horror, he walked towards the source, listening for intruders…or worse. With each step, the voice became clearer. It was a feminine voice, a voice filled with outrage, with a cold hateful undertone. He knew the voice well, but he couldn’t believe he was hearing it. Palms sweating, he peaked around the corner into the living room.
“What kind of ridiculous prison is this?” The changeling queen complained as she looked around her surroundings. She used her magic to lift up a TV remote and examined it. “All of these random trinkets, the strange furniture, it’s like being trapped in somepony’s grandmother’s house!”
She threw the remote clean across the apartment, where it struck a wall. She sat back down on the sofa, and closed her eyes, as if thinking. Alex crept out of his hiding spot, and came closer for a better look. She appeared to be focusing, and didn’t notice him approaching.
It was impossible, unbelievable, some sort of scientific anomaly. And yet here it was, sitting on his couch, insulting his décor, and being an overall douche.
“H-hello?” Alex ventured cautiously. The changeling whipped around and stared him down, forcing him to shrink away a little.
“You!” She spat the word. “You were the one that struck me! You dense little…” She glared at him, wishing him a painful death.
Alex raised his hands in defense. “Look, I’m sorry,” he began.
“I don’t want to hear I’m sorry!” The queen snapped. “You attacked me and then kidnapped me! I’m going to destroy you for this!” She looked like she was concentrating very hard on something, but Alex didn’t feel anything. A few minutes passed, and still nothing.
“What exactly are you doing?” He asked, confused.
“I’m trying to get in contact with my subjects!” She growled in a strained voice.. “But I can’t hear them…what kind of magic did you use, you foal!? Why can’t I hear my people’s voices?” She gave him an accusatory glare.
“Nothing! I don’t do magic at all, I swear!” His palms were sweating, and he was trying to find a way to calm down. But how do you calm down, when you can’t relate a situation like this to anything you’ve experienced before?
“Liar!” She screeched. “You’ve employed some sort of force field, or killed my minions! Nopony kills my minions but me!” Her horn glowed, and Alex felt a tugging motion as she attempted to throw him. But he never got airborne. In fact, the tugging sensation was weaker than it had been initially. Alex looked at the changeling in confusion. Chrysalis was still trying hard to lift him, but it looked like it was taking a lot out of her. Finally she stopped, and staggered around, trying to keep her footing (or hoofing, rather).
Alex stared. “Listen, I’m sorry I hit you, but you have to understand: this isn’t your universe. You somehow ended up in a different universe than the one you came from.”
The Changeling Queen considered this.
“And why should I believe you?”
“Because I’m the guy who picked you up off the road and tried to find a place to shelter you?” He guessed.
She laughed coldly.
“I don’t need help from the likes of you! From what I can tell, you hardly have time to take care of yourself!” She gestured about the messy apartment, garbage littered everywhere.
Alex’s face burned.
“I just wanted to make sure you’re okay…” He sounded hurt.
She laughed even harder at him.
“Do you have any idea how pathetic you sound?” She sneered. She changed shape in a burst of green flame, causing Alex to jump. Disguised as him, she repeated his own words.
“I just wanted to make sure you’re okay…” She spoke in a mocking tone.
Alex looked exasperated.
“That’s the thanks I get for saving you?”
“What did you expect, a kiss?” She turned back into her original shape and made kissy faces at him, making him turn red.
“N-no! I was just thinking you’d be more grateful!”
Chrysalis rolled her eyes and turned towards the entry.
“I’m a changeling queen, you moron. It’s not my job to reward peasants like you for your idiocy. I can handle myself.” She began walking towards the door.
“It’s cold outside.” Alex tried to explain.
“I’m a grown mare,” She snapped. “I can handle a little poor weather.” She tried using magic on the door; only she couldn’t turn the knob. She struggled with it for a few moments, before Alex walked towards it and opened it slowly for her. She tried to bite him on her way outside.
Alex closed the door behind her, and heard a long string of curses as she fell down the steps. He turned away and rubbed his temples, walking towards his room. The problem had been solved, and she was no longer his responsibility. If she died out in the cold, he wouldn’t feel guilty over her death, and if she made it home, then good for her. In the meantime, Alex was exhausted from the day’s excitement. He stumbled into his room, and crawled into the bed sheets. In a few moments, he drifted off to sleep.
Alex awoke the next morning to more noises in the living room. All memory of the previous night having abandoned him, he assumed it was a burglar and climbed out of bed silently. He crept down the hall slowly, trying to remember where he had set his phone. He needed to get to his phone and call the cops quickly; the burglars may be armed. The voices appeared to be coming from the living room; he stealthily crawled into the kitchen without anyone noticing.
He looked over all the counters for his phone amidst the messy dishes and random flyers he had received in the mail. He lifted a stack of flyers quietly, and checked beneath them for his phone, to no avail. He continued scouring the counters until he finally spotted it lying in the bottom of the sink. He picked it up; the screen was cracked severely, but it still worked. Had one of the burglars thrown it? Looking around nervously, he dialed 911 and sat down, trying to stay quiet.
“Nine-one-one, state your emergency.” The woman on the other end prompted.
“Get me the police, please. I think there’s someone in my apartment.” He whispered.
“I understand, sir. A police car will be dispatched as fast as possible.”
Alex hung up and breathed a sigh of relief. The police would be here soon and-
“What are you doing?” A familiar voice asked from above.
Startled, Alex looked up to see…Chrysalis? But…that’s…
The events of yesterday returned to him, and he remembered hitting her on the road. He got up off the floor, and turned to face the changeling.
“I thought you said you knew the way home.” He wasn’t trying to sound smug, it just happened naturally.
She shot him a look. “And who says I didn’t?”
“Well…” He began. “Last night you told me that you didn’t need my help, and then you wandered off to find your way home. And now you’re here again.”
She stuck her tongue out at him.
“So I didn’t find my way home. Maybe I wandered around the back streets of town while idiots gawked at me like I was a monster. Maybe I crawled back in here at two in the morning because I was cold and hungry.” She wasn’t happy with herself, but was evidently making the only logical choice, in her opinion.
Alex eyed her warily.
“Well, if you need a place to stay, I suppose I could…”
“Allow me to stay here? Excellent, glad I thought of it.” She turned away from him and jumped back on the couch, taking up the whole couch as she sprawled across it, watching the TV.
Alex walked into the living room.
“Any chance you could make some room for me?” He asked politely.
Chrysalis gave him an evil stare; he just sighed and sat cross legged on the floor in front of the TV.
They spend a good few hours looking at the TV in silence. Alex had no idea what they were watching; it was some sort of foreign Real Estate channel. Neither of them said a word.
“So,,, what exactly is this thing, anyway?” Chrysalis asked while staring at the TV.
Alex considered giving her the truth, and then decided against it.
“Magic.” He said simply, and the changeling nodded wisely.
Alex considered trying to talk to her, trying to get her to relax a little, maybe get to know her better. But he didn’t know where to begin. Should he talk about where she was from? No, she’d probably just treat him with sarcasm and scorn. Maybe he could try and explain where she was? No, if he did that, she’d probably attempt to impersonate the president’s wife or the president himself. He sat around considering the different things to talk about, and finding some major flaw in each of his ideas.
Suddenly there was a pounding at the door.
“Police! Open the door!”
Alex’s eyes went wide.
“Oh god, quick you have to hide!” He whispered fiercely to the changeling queen.
She rewarded him with a withering look, and sat up looking for a place to hide.
“It’s no good!” He hissed. “You have to change shape, or you’ll get caught.”
“What shape?” She snapped back at him. “I don’t know what they’re expecting!”
Looking around, he snatched up a picture of his ex-girlfriend.
“Something like this, hurry!”
“Police! We know you’re in there!” More knocking on the door.
Chrysalis looked at the picture for a few seconds before changing shape. In a burst of green flame she turned into a more humanoid form of herself, standing on two hooves, with a trim, curved body riddled with holes, and a noticeable lack of clothes.
“Like this?” She asked without enthusiasm.
Alex looked back and yelped.
“No, you have to look like the girl in the picture! Exactly like…” It took Alex a few moments to realize he was not staring at her face. Burning red he turned away and added; “And try to find some clothes!”
“Clothes?” She snorted in an unladylike fashion. “Who wears clothes?”
“Just do it!” He snapped as he turned to face the door. He couldn’t waste any more time. He reached for the door, checking behind himself to make sure Chryssie had disappeared from view. Taking a deep breath he opened the door, and faced to two cops staring back at him.
“Police dispatch. Someone called 911 from this residence?” The first cop asked.
It took Alex a second to find his voice. Nodding, he spoke in an even tone.
“Yeah, that was me.”
“You reported an intruder in your home?”
“Yeah…it was just my girlfriend. She came home late, and forgot to turn the TV off.” He replied lamely.
The cops weren’t satisfied. They looked past him at the apartment.
“Your place appears a little messy, sir. You sure there’s no trouble?”
“I’m positive, sirs.” He tried to sound confident.
“You wouldn’t mind if we took a look around, then?” The second officer began to push past Alex, who attempted to block him.
“I’d rather you didn’t,” He tried his best to appear casual. “My girlfriend is changing right now, and I don’t think she’d appreciate-“
“I’m going to have to take a look around, sir. Step aside.” Officer one began to push him out of the way, while the second one tried to step inside.
“My girlfriend really needs her privacy…”
“Out of the way!” The cop snapped, impatient.
The three men struggled for a minute, Alex worried that he might get hauled away for obstructing police. He was about to let them in when suddenly he heard a voice from behind him.
“Who’s at the door, dear? Is it trouble?” Alex’s ex-girlfriend poke her head around the corner, looking at the three men.
The officers stopped struggling; the first one nodded in greeting.
“Good morning, ma’am. We were just responding to a distress call placed earlier today.”
Alex’s ‘Girlfriend’ looked sheepish.
“Sorry about that. I came in a little early, and fell asleep with the TV on.” She giggled, and stepped around the corner. She had a large blanket draped around her, which she clutched tightly. Alex guessed that she wasn’t able to find any clothes.
“Just to be sure, miss. Can you verify that you two are the only individuals in the apartment at the moment?” The cop still seemed suspicious.
She was about to say something, when suddenly she lost her grip on the blanket, and it fell on the ground around her. The cops tried to avoid staring, and Alex felt his cheeks turn red.
“Oh god!” She crouched down to retrieve her blanket, and stood up after wrapping it around her body again. When she was finally presentable, she addressed the police officers, who were staring at their shoes.
“Yes, I’m sure we’re the only people in the apartment. Do you need to check anyway?”
One of the cops spoke up.
“That won’t be necessary, ma’am. Thank you for your time.”
“Any time, sirs. Have a pleasant day!” She called after them as they climbed down the steps. When they were out of view, Alex shut the door, and the changeling reversed to her original self, dumping the blankets all over the floor, She sprawled across the couch again with a sigh of exhaustion.
“Do NOT make me do that again!” She growled angrily.
“I forgot!” He protested. “I thought you were a home invader!”
“Well whatever it was, it was ridiculous! I’m used to ponies eyeballing me, but come on!”
The duo flopped onto the couch for a minute, trying to calm down. Eventually they caught their breath and turned their attention to the TV. Chrysalis placed a hoof against the back of his head and pushed him off of the couch. She rested her hooves where Alex used to be seated.
“You know, I may get used to this…” She mused.
Somewhere on the floor in front of her, Alex groaned.
After careful consideration, I've decided to log everything that happens in the next few days. From what I can tell, Chrysalis appears to be stuck here for longer than we both had assumed, and I want to make the most of it. After all, this is the only time something like this is ever going to happen, right?
She isn't the best room mate. She's lazy, demanding and unappreciative, and worst of all, she-
Alex pushed his chair back in surprise as his notebook suddenly caught fire. Panicking, he stumbled into the kitchen and filled a cup with water before sprinting back to douse the flames. He managed to keep the fire from spreading, but his notes and story ideas were totally ruined. Breathing heavily, he slowly turned towards the couch.
Chrysalis grinned at him, a Zippo lighter suspended in midair by an aura of green light. The changeling may not have had much magic in her, but she still had a little bit. Just enough magic to keep herself from starving and torment Alex at the same time. She cackled wickedly at the look of anger on his face, throwing the lighter at his head as he walked away.
Alex ducked, the lighter flying past his head. He stalked towards the smug queen, still clutching the glass in his hand.
"This isn't funny!" He practically shouted.
"Not funny? Does funny mean something different here? Because in my universe it was hilarious!" She threw her head back and laughed.
Alex had to stop himself from strangling her.
"I'm serious! All of my ideas were in that book! How am I supposed to keep track of my story now?"
She waved a hoof dismissively.
"If you didn't want it destroyed, you shouldn't have written about me in it. I have a right to privacy, you know."
"Your right to privacy doesn't mean anything if you burn down my apartment!"
She sat up. "This dump would only burn down if you let it burn down. Which you won't, therefore I'm off the hook!"
Alex stopped and tried to calm down.
"What if I hadn't noticed the fire?"
She looked at him like he was crazy.
"I lit a fire in front of you."She spoke as if speaking to a small child. "If fire burns in front of you. You notice it pretty damn quickly. What are you, an invalid?"
Alex scowled, the changeling merely stuck her tongue out at him and turned on the television. She changed it to a cheesy soap opera, where some ignoramus in a suit preached his love for a woman in red. Chryssie licked her lips; Alex figured she was probably hungry. Well, it wasn't his job to feed her. He just had to put up with her until she found a way home. Which seemed less likely to happen with each passing day.
Alex wandered over to his computer and booted up the browser. He checked out his story on FimFiction for new views on his changeling story. So far, he had amassed nearly 300 new views today alone. The comments were abuzz with anxious fans. Everybody was waiting for the final chapters; They had been waiting for nearly a month now. Alex would have been happy to sit down and finish the story, but he couldn't find any time for it. He was pretty much babysitting the Changeling, and he still had a job to keep. Besides, Chrysalis had no idea just how popular she was in this world. He thought it best to avoid telling her that she was a fictional character, at least for now.
Lexi's phone beeped; it was time for work. He shut down the computer and turned to the changeling. Should he leave her alone? He had no doubts that taking her with him was a mistake. There was no way she'd be able to fit in the car with him comfortably. She probably wouldn't like driving around aimlessly for several hours on end, either. On the other hand, if he left her here, there was no telling what she might do. She might set the place on fire, or wreck his laptop. Hell, she might even wander out of the apartment on her own just to be difficult. There wasn't any logical way to approach living with the Queen. Still, he had to put a little faith in her. Not because he wanted to, but because there wasn't any greater course of action.
"I'm going out." He announced loudly.
Chrysalis barely looked up. "Don't let the door hit you on your way out."
"You aren't even curious? You don't want to know where I'm going?"
"Nope." She changed the channel. Some documentary about plants appeared on the TV screen.
Alex was confused. "Oh...well, alright then. See you later, I guess."
"Go ahead and have your fun, monkey. I think I'm going to take a nap." She yawned, curling up on the couch.
Alex grabbed his jacket and started looking for his keys. Where had he left them? He checked the counters, strewn with flyers, as well as the coffee table. They were nowhere to be found. He checked his desk, only to come up empty handed as well. Were they on the couch maybe? He made his way to the couch where Chrysalis lay. Slowly, he stuck his hand between the cushions, near the Changeling Queen's head.
"Don't even think about it." She opened her eyes and growled. Lexi jerked his hand back from the couch cushions and stumbled backward, falling over. His face burned as she laughed at his clumsiness.
"You should have seen your face!" She howled with laughter.
Alex rolled his eyes and got to his feet. He trudged back into the kitchen and took another look around. There was nothing to be found. He looked back to the couch and an idea struck him. He tiptoed to the rear of the couch; Chrysalis had stopped laughing and appeared to be sleeping again. He spread his hands wide in front of him, and with only a moments hesitation, shoved her off the couch. Chrysalis shouted in surprise as she tumbled onto the ground, and got to her hooves, cursing. He laughed and laughed at the disgruntled look on her face.
"You'll pay for that!" She hissed in fury.
"Yeah yeah." He searched the couch for his keys. No luck, but the look on her face was reward enough. He left the room to check the bathroom.
"You'd best sleep with one eye open!" She shouted down the hall.
"Whatever you say, your Holey-ness!" He laughed at the awful joke.
"Shut up!" She hollered.
Alex ignored her and looked around for his keys. They weren't on the counter, so he rooted around in the jeans strewn across the floor, finally finding them at last. He moved quickly towards the door, only to find Chryssie wasn't in the living room any more. He reflected briefly that he may have hurt her feelings, but shrugged it off. She'd done worse to him; she would get over it. He checked his phone again. He had to get going.
He dashed out the apartment and down the stairs as fast as he could, jumping into his car. The engine roared to life, and he pulled out of his parking space into the streets. He made good time; he might even make it to work on time. He slowed to a stop at an intersection and heaved a sigh of relief. It was good to get out of the house. Away from his troubles, his writer's block, his breakup, but mostly it was nice to get away from the Royal Pain.
Out of nowhere, Chrysalis jumped out from the back seat, causing Lexi to scream.
"Finally we're here! I was fed up with waiting!"
He looked back at her with disbelief. "What are you...I didn't know...I thought you were-"
She smacked him upside the head. "Quit talking! You're making my head hurt!" She snapped.
He rubbed his head. That had actually hurt.
"Why are you here?" He asked plaintively.
"Well...I was going to give you some peace and quiet, until you pushed me off the bloody couch!" She glared at him accusingly.
"It's my couch, too!" He protested.
She procured a small box.
"Here."
Alex picked up the tiny box. He didn't even have to open it to know it was empty.
"What's with the box?" He eyed it.
"This box contains all the bucks I give about what you have to say." She said with a smirk.
Alex sighed, trying to hide a small grin. She was a nuisance, yes, but she had a decent sense of humor. As much as he resented her, he knew that there wasn't much else for her to do. She was far from home. SHe was hungry, lost and alone. Well, maybe not alone. She had him, after all.
...didn't she?
Alex didn't have time to sit around and think; the light had turned green, and he accelerated, reaching his destination quickly. Grabbing hold of the door handle, he cast a look at the changeling.
"Stay here," he ordered. "I'll be back soon."
She looked like she was going to argue, but looked out the window at the blowing wind and swirling snow and shivered. She nodded a reproachful agreement. Before leaving, he turned up the heat, and warm wind blew into the back seat. Chrysalis sighed comfortably, and he opened the door quickly, shutting it behind him and dashing into the pizza parlor.
"You're late Lexi," The clerk sneered at him. "Were you playing with your dolls again?"
Alex ignored him and grabbed his deliveries. He spun around and strode briskly towards the door.
"What's the rush, Lexi?" The clerk mocked him. "Got a hot date?"
Alex stopped at the door, one arm around the bag of pizza boxes, another arm grabbing the door handle.
"Something like that."
"Good for you, pony boy! Just don't scare her away with your furry fetish, like you did last time!" The cashier hateful words echoing through the pizza parlor. A few busy eaters stopped and stole a glance at Alex.
Alex's knuckles turned white as he gripped the handle tightly. He counted to ten, thought nice thoughts, even sang Pinkie Pie's "Smile Song" in his head, anything to keep himself from decking the punk behind the register. He had no right to talk like that. No right at all! Slowly, he calmed down enough to open the door, stepping away from the hostile air of the warm pizzeria and into the comforting sting of the brutal winter world.
The biting wind did little to cool his fury as he stomped towards his car. Jerking open the door and throwing himself inside, he slammed the door behind him. A startled Chrysalis sat up, about to say some cutting remark, but he shot her down quickly.
"If you say so much as one. Single. Syllable. I will throw you out into the cold and leave you there, got it?" There was a cold, cutting edge to his voice. No joking, no traces of the old Alex anywhere. Chrysalis took notice and shrunk in her seat, almost as if he had struck her with a stick. Lexi noticed the look of hurt that registered on her face and cursed himself inwardly. He hadn't meant to take his rage out on her. She didn't deserve that.
Alex wordlessly started the car, neither passenger said a word for a long, long while.