Celestia's Regret

by PrincessStarlight5511

First published

Celestia tells her story about her living years of dread and regret after the banishment of her little sister, Princess Luna

Princess Celestia, the proud ruler of Equestria, admired by thousands as the beautiful Princess of the Sun. But behind her majestic looks is a deep ocean of sorrow and regret. She remembers that day. The day the darkness within her sister begun

Chapter 1: Unhappiness

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It has been nine-hundred years so far, and 11 months. Everypony knows me as the proud ruler of this land. But since so much has happened I cannot help but have that aching heartache within my soul each day.

But pardon me, my name is Princess Celestia. But you may call me Tia. A rather silly name, I know it does not sound proper for a mare of my old age but I miss that name dearly . A little filly, whom I cared for more then my entire kingdom, used to call me that. I used to very much dislike the name, but I miss it. I miss the sound of that blue-haired filly calling out to me saying " Tia! Come on and play with me !' ". Her sweet voice, calling out to me. I didn't reliaze her true feelings until she was gone and all I got was her memories of anger and suffering. Which I had forgotten over the long and dreading years.

The filly I am speaking of is my younger sister, Princess Luna.

I remember alot of the times we spent together, just the two of us, out of all the memories I have of her, the unhappiness inside of her started when she was only around the age of 6 and I was 9. I couldn't believe how much she suffered all these years that I feel so sad just thinking of her. But that day it all began, we were both out in the castle's backyard. I was drawing a sketch of the sun rising, using my magic to make the brush strokes as smooth as possible. Luna was looking around for some new discoveries in the bushes. You know, what all little fillies do. Go around the yard and see if they can find any bugs or pretty flowers to give you. She dug deep into the bush to see what she could find when a little rabbit popped out of the bush and startled her.

She tripped on the table I was working on and spilled ink all over my painting. That painting wasn't even very special. Yet I made such a big deal over it. I yelled at her," Luna! Look what you did ! ". My little Luna, she stepped back in fear staring at my angered expression. She just ran back to her room and didn't come out for the rest of the day. The servants tried to give her dinner that night but she refused. They tried to get me to talk to her but I was to busy doing my painting. I was so cold-hearted. Doing nothing to stop the darkness developing inside of her. That was the very first memory I had when she started a small change inside of her. A small spot of darkness, which grew bigger as the years went by.

After that day, she seemed a little different. It was hard to notice if you didn't pay very close attention. She only asked me to play with her once a day, and even then, she didn't bother to say it with her usual cheery voice. She didn't say anything about how her dolls loved the food she cooked for them last night, or how much she loves both night and day, she just told me to play with her.

But I was just as uncaring as I was cold-hearted back then. I didn't ask her any questions or even apoligize for what I did. That was when her unhappiness began.

Chapter 2: Anger

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After some time, things began to become more revealing when it came to her emotions. She would just stay in her bedroom most of the time and simply just stare at me when I was with my subjects. I did not care much though. I just let things go by, I didn't pay much attention since would I constantly write letters to my other subjects of Equestria reassuring them things will be alright. As some were still worrying about Discord bringing chaos back to the land. You see my parents went missing when I was 6 so as their eldest daughter I took charge from a young age with little guidance from the the minor princesses and princes. I wanted to still look like the proud ruler of Equestria even as small as I was back then.

But anyway about my sweet little sister, much time passed since that day. The day the darkness started developing in her heart.

I was 21 while my not-so-little-anymore-Luna was 18. It was a bright Monday afternoon, I knew it would only be 10 minutes until the arrival of Princess Grace Wind, Princess of the Pegasi. I needed to make sure I remembered to take her very seriously as of her serious nature. I was just reviewing what our conversation would be like, when Luna burst into the room.

" Sis ! " She yelled. " Why did you not tell me that Princess Grace was coming over? I didn't even plan out what important matters we will discuss about our new schedules for the seasons coming ! Plus this is going to be a very serious conversation will it not? "

" On-no. ", I thought in my head. I was going to get one of the guards to explain to her what I thought, but looks like I was going to have to tell her myself. I started off with a calm sigh before I spoke. " Luna please understand, Princess Grace is a rather ... picky princess. She told me she wishes that we talk in private and that she will not tolerate any interruptions or foalish behaviours. So since it's in your nature to be both of those things, thought that it may be best if you just stay out of our conversation. You're not taking this the wrong way, right? "

Luna's eyes widened. My intentions of a calm conversation failed. She looked hurt and that was when the darkness inside of her took over much more. She shouted, " Why Tia? Just Why?! I raise the moon and thousands of stars everynight, yet nopony appreciates me or my starfilled sky. I wish that all the ponies of Equestria would play during my night and just shun your day!"

I know I should've tried to ease her stress but I made no effort to hold in my cruel emotions.

" Luna! You will not say such rude things towards your older sister! You are still old enough to take part in such important conversations! I will not tolerate you interrupting our conversation little sister. Now please just run along and go play your foalish games somewhere else. "

She had a look of pain in her face. I loved her so much, yet I did said nothing more.She burst into tears and ran out of the room. I was going to try to apologize, I was going to try to ease her emotions,I was about to chase after her when a "ding" on the clock alerted me to go outside. It was as if that clock hypnotized me. I dropped all my thoughts about what happened just a minute beforeand I trotted out to the castle grounds. Just on time to see a silver chariot land smoothly onto the grass. Shoving all my troubles aside, I went to greet the princess. Forgetting all about my sister's emotions from just a minute ago.

Chapter 3: Why Luna ?

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I don't understand what got over me that tragic night.

After Princess Grace and I finished our conversation, I just went to my bedroom and fell asleep. I felt as if I was in the embrace of the cold, chilling darkness. Until I felt something wrong. I tried going back to sleep but it was something I just couldn't ignore. I could feel it.

I got out of bed and ran up the stairs to the tallest tower in my castle. I felt I was losing something very dear to me but I couldn't make out what it was suppose to be. My magic ? My castle? or even, my eyes snapped wide open. " Luna? " . I sped up my running pace until I reached the balcony.

Everything seemed normal. No one was out and the moon was still high in the sky.

Suddenly, a dark figure swooped down and punched me right in the stomach. I fell right onto the floor and slowly brought my head up to see who my opponent was.

The dark figure stepped closer towards me. I couldn't believe it. " W-who are you? " I asked.

The figures skin was black with a few specks of dark blue but the black was starting to cover the last specks of the blue.
The figure stepped closer, " Why it's me. Your little sister Luna. Or atleast I used to be. You are such a foolish sister. All my life I thought you loved me and cared for me but you didn't. I gave you a chance to prove yourself worthy of me and you failed. All of Equestria failed actually. So now all of Equestria will pay for it. " Now my sisters skin was fully black and her hair flowing slowly.

Her voice sounded so cold. I could sense Luna's presence there. I could feel her faint but still existing presence . I was very much hoping this was just some cruel joke so I began to doubt.

I got up to my hooves, trembling I finally found the courage to speak " N-no y-your not Luna. You can't be ! Give her back ! Please... I'm so sorry... I care so much for you little sister! I love you so much and -and I want you to still be with me. I want you stay with me because I love you." I knew that pleading wouldn't help but I still tried despite that.

She stared at me. A hard expression on her face as she watched tears stream down my face." Lies..." she whispered. I looked up to see if she possibly changed her mind. That maybe we could start our relationship all over again and things would be alright.

" LIES!!! "

She screamed as she stomped her hooves on the ground loudly. She stepped even closer to make it so that she was looking down upon me.

" I told you, I'm not Luna anymore, My name is now Nightmare Moon. And you Celestia, are no better then all your pitiful subjects! Lying to me, thinking you could say how great of a princess I am so you could mask up all the glory you get from them. Thought I wouldn't have noticed huh? Well I did! You will suffer just like I had all these years.You will all know ! The night will last forever ! " Another evil laugh followed that statement.

I couldn't take it anymore. My heartached more then ever and the pressure was just to much for me to handle. I ran down the stairs as quickly as possible, hearing beams of energy being shot behind me.

Chapter 4: Gone

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Things took a heavy turn. I ran down the stairs, eyes closed. My headached and this has felt like a horrible nightmare. I just wanted to wake, get to Luna and snuggle her to sleep, like what we used to do together as young fillies.

But this was much to real to just be a plain old nighmare. I could feel my entire body becoming sore but I ignored it. I knew I had to keep on running. I just had to.

I got down into the main hall. The guards looked shocked and were about to ask me questions about what was going on when they noticed my sister. They quickly started to shoot beams of energy at my sister or protect me with whatever they could it but didn't do any good. By the time I reached the end of the hall, I turned myself around by my wings to face my sister.

Guards were lying on the floor, some passed out, most still moaning in pain from the powerful electric shocks. But my eyes quickly fell upon my sister. Wings spread wide, hair flowing madly and a dark aura surrounding her.

" Why run away from the truth dear sister ? You know you can't defeat me with your cowardly ways. And you thought I was the foalish one."

My sister released another evil laugh before spreading an evil smile across her face and concentrating her magic on another energy ball. I closed my eyes, for I knew that I was to weak to go against my younger sister, even after all that has happened. My heart had been shattered and I didn't even know if I could go on anymore. So I accepted my fate.

But just when my sister was about to shoot her magic at me, I felt warm inside. I could feel my soft pink mane flow rapidly, I could feel the magic through it. I opened my eyes, my sister looked shocked at me I thought I could hear Luna again.She cried out to me " Tia, please...! ". I could feel my hair change colour, I felt the power of the Elements of Harmony surround me. Forcing me to deliver a powerful spell. One that could possibly save us all. I tried to control the amount of magic I used but I knew I had to do this, no matter what the cost.

Then, with my eyes aglow, I shot out all the power I had within me. The entire castle was aglow and then,

Silence.

All the guards had now passed out so I was the only one left standing.

Luna was no longer there either. The Elements of Harmony lost their glow of power, and turned to hard stone.

Just like my heart.

The pain was overwhelming. Had I just done what I thought I did? Yes,I did do it and their was absolutley no way to reverse the spell. I slowly walked towards the window. I fell to my knees. On the moon was an imprint of a sad looking mare. The night sky aglow with the moons light. Luna wan't coming back. I had just lost my only family and my only friend.

Tears came down my face even more now.

I screamed louder then I ever had in my entire life.

I screamed her name to the moon. I knew I could no longer bring her back so I just lay there on the floor.
With nothing but my sorrow and regret.

Chapter 5: Goodnight Luna

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I never spoke of my dear sister much over the years. After some time, no one remembered Luna and I took over Equestria all by myself. While my dear Luna is still up in the moon.

Every morning at the sun's rising I would smile at my kingdom. Smile as I lower the moon and raise the sun. Make it look like seeing them and waving at them brings happiness when really, it just makes my mood worse.

I would go to sleep at night and Luna's transformation and painful memories would fill my dreams. I would imagine her skin turning black and her light blue hair turn into that flowing dark hair.

I remember it was years ago , I would wave to all my subjects , feeling proud and powerful, only to not notice Luna in the background giving an expression of pure pain. Wanting to get the the love and attention she deserved only to get lonesome and sad when watching me take what she wanted.

It's just plain regret for me.

I regret not spending more of my nights by her side and telling her how much I love her.

Whenever I have such painful dreams I wake hoping to see her sleeping soundly beside me but I see nothing except the walls of my room. When I see those dark walls I feel weak all over again like the weakness I felt in me that tragic night.

Every time I raise the moon the first thing I see is the black side of it. The one my sister is on. I would sometimes fly up to the tallest mountain I see and pray for her return yet nothing surrounding me changes. Almost every pony is already in their sleeping homes and she is still safe in the moon.

My greatest of apologies to my dear sister. I feel the day of her return drawing near and I cannot wait to welcome her back. Luna, if you are still the monster known as Nightmare Moon, I'll get you back. You'll always be my little sister, no matter who you are. You're safe in the moon right now and soon you'll feel the warmth and comfort of me. I am still awaiting for your arrival, for it will be a day of relief and joy for all of Equestria.

I am going to fall asleep now sister. When I fall asleep this night, I hope that I can relive all of our happy memories together as little fillies. Sleep well tonight Luna, and you can relive them with me.

Goodnight my dear sister, goodnight Luna.