(My First Ponyfic. No flames please!)
Rorschach knew all of Applejack's friends. He didn't particularly like most of them - he tolerated them more often times than not - and he certainly did not consider them a close friend. They were friendly acquaintances at best but even though Rorschach had expressed that he found them annoying, he still spent Sundays reading at Twilight Sparkle's library, attended Pinkie's Parties, brought Fluttershy fish to feed her more carnivorous pets, humored Rainbow Dash with silly contests to see who was tougher, and, surprising of all, spent time helping Rarity recreate his mask's fabric.
The human definitely liked Apple's friends more than he let on (so she thought) but the farmpony knew he liked her the most because she was the only one of them that he had shown his face to.
She still remembered the first time she'd seen that pale creamy skin and that shock of red, the odd shape and size of his eyes (not quite circles, not quite ovals) and ears and that short pudgy muzzle that wasn't a muzzle but his nose. There were freckles like her own all over his face and that small similarity had made her happy. Applejack had never seen a human before so she didn't know what one was suppose to look like but she figured that even by human standards Rorschach would be considered odd looking (but not ugly, that would be mean).
The Apple family had just sat down for breakfast. Granny Smith had just set out a plate of apple pancakes and everypony already had their forks at the ready, grabbing two to three hot cakes at a time. The door had creaked and everyponies head turned, expecting the familiar monochromatic black and white face to greet them.
(Rorschach slept out in a room the family had put up in the barn. He had insisted on sleeping there when accepting their proposal of room and board. It was safer there, he thought. In the house, he would have to be cautious about his mask. He had already caught the cutie mark crusaders trying to try it on when he was bathing. It was also a great look out point for when the Timber Wolves decided to rear their ugly heads and he liked the privacy.)
Instead what they got was Rorschach. His eyes were still heavy with sleep as he took his seat at the table. He didn't look at them, just grabbed two flap jacks from the stack and slapped them on his plate like nothing was different. He didn't speak until he had smeared a slab of butter across his breakfast and coated it with thick maple syrup.
"Been kind to let me stay here, feed me, offer me companionship. Thought the least I could do is let you really see who you're accepting in." Rorschach's voice was rougher without the filter of his mask sanding over the harsh grit. Applejack's eyes were on his but his were on his food. He shoveled in a bite that should have been too large for his mouth, only glancing up at everypony when the silence dragged on for too long.
Apple Bloom was the first to speak. "I really like yer mane!" She said with a childish chirp, that sounded too innocent to be mocking, as his eyes met hers. Her smile was large and infectious.
"I'm glad ya finally trust us, sunny." Granny Smith smiled.
"Eeyup." Big Macintosh grinned.
Applejack's mouth turned up in a soft smile, her honest smile. "Ya don' look scary at all." And that actually meant something to Walter because it meant she remembered their long ago conversation about how it had hurt him when everypony was calling him a monster.
The mare's green eyes locked with his and for the first time she saw the brown of his eyes. They weren't just lidded with sleep. There were heavy dark bags under them that, even for ponies, indicated weariness. The deep set lines on his face and around his mouth seemed to indicate that he was older. Rorschach had never told anypony his age but it was obvious he wasn't a young human by far. It added to the growing pile of concern Applejack kept just for him.
Rorschach was about as quiet as he always was, only speaking to answer a question here or there or to ask for somepony to pass the jelly. Applejack watched him the whole time, trying to learn everything she could from his face.
He never removed his mask like that around them again but Applejack was hopeful. She knew all the human needed now was time.
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-
Bam!
Applejack's rear hooves made solid contact with the trunk of the apple tree, successfully shaking the apples above from their branches. Each red delicious fruit fell into the baskets at it's base and filled well above the basket's brim. Rorschach picked them up and dumped them into the cart he pulled along before putting the baskets under the next tree so Applejack could start the process again.
Cider season was coming soon - a pony celebration that Rorschach was not familiar with. Still, he helped the family prepare for the event. It was the least he could do for their business after all they'd offered him in kindness.
"That looks like that's it fer this field." The cowpony said as she looked up at the late afternoon sun retreating over the horizon. The sky was just barely tinged with the first hues of a sunset; light shades of violet and orange and pink scattering the sky, resembling the mane of their beloved Princess who was probably lowering the sun as she spoke. "An' the day fer that matter. Phew! Ah guess we were workin' longer than Ah realized."
Rorschach just nodded and pulled the wagon of apples back to the house behind her, listening to her light conversation the whole way. The house was empty when they approached it. Granny Smith was gone and would be for the next week as she visited their family in Appleoosa. Apple Bloom was spending the night at Sweetie Bell's with Scootaloo. Big Macintosh had simply said he wouldn't be there tonight, eluding little to his true intentions. Applejack hadn't seemed to question it even though it raised some suspicion in Rorschach. It would just be the two of them - Applejack and Rorschach - tonight.
Rorschach pulled the apples into the barn with the others. Applejack waited for him, thanking him for his help as always and offering him a smile. "Yer sure ya don' wanna sleep in tha house tonight? Ya could take Big Mac's bed fer the night." She knew the answer but still she asked, every night and day, just to let him know he was still welcome.
The man nodded his head. "Sure. Could use a bath too."
Applejack doubled back. "Wha? Ya really mean it?"
Rorshach's shoulders slumped up and down in a heavy shrug. "Yes."
Applejack didn't flip backwards with joy like she would have liked but she did smile and give a "yee-haw!" as she clopped her hooves together. "Ah knew ya'd come 'round eventually! That is, Ah hoped ya would."
He gave her a look through the mask that she could feel. It said "don't push it this is hard enough for me as it is" but Apple kept smiling and talking happily about friendship all the way up the house.
((I was going to finish this completely but it's moving along slowly and I don't want you guys to think it's dead so here you go. The rest should be up soon.))
The noises coming from the other side of Applejack's wall were just odd but not because of what they were. She'd recognize the sound of pain and sadness from anypony (or any human as it turned out). It was odd because the noises couldn't be coming from anything but Rorschach who had never shown the slightest hint of painful sorrow as long as Applejack had known him, which, if she was honest, wasn't a very long time. The sobs coming from the wall at the head of her bed were loud enough to rouse her from her sleep and deep enough to concern her.
The orange mare looked at the wall where Rorschach would be on the other side and pondered what to do. If she got up to check on him and he awoke he would no doubt be angry. Rorschach was always angry about something, usually passively, she noticed. The human was also particularly sensitive when it came to his privacy and personal space and didn't like to be disturbed when sleeping (as Applebloom had proven time and time again).
Still, this wasn't a normal situation. A friend was crying, hurt, in pain, and Applejack's personality couldn't allow her to sit by and ignore him.
Quietly, Applejack removed herself from bed and trotted into the hallway. She could still hear the sobbing through the bedroom door as she pushed it open with her hoof. The pony peeked her head in first before proceeding to enter the room.
In Big Macintosh's bed wrapped up in thick wool blankets, Rorschach twisted and turned in his sleep. He was facing the wall with his back turned to her and the door. Applejack could only make out the faint outline of his body as he shook.
Applejack's hoofsteps sounded loud in her ears as she approached him. She had never felt so much worry and trepidation towards anyone at the same time before. The closer she got the more the pony realized that not all of the human's sounds were sobs. There were words mixed in too. Quite a few were intelligible and the few she did make out were foreign to her but there was one word she recognized in the midst of his mumblings.
"Mother."
She hadn't been expecting that. Had Rorschach left a family behind in that other world? Did he have parents that were missing him? She had no way of knowing. It wasn't like he talked about himself that often and frankly he hadn't seemed the type ("always alone" he'd once said) but suddenly it seemed like the logical explanation.
She couldn't take it anymore. Ever so gently, Applejack placed her right hoof on Rorschach's shoulder and shook him as to rouse him from his sleep.
"Rorschach?" She called, hoping a friendly voice would help him back out of whatever dream he might be having. "Come on, sugercube, yer havin' a nightmare." Her shaking became a little rougher and succeeded in waking him with a gasp.
In a flash Rorschach had turned and reached out dangerously close to her neck. He stopped just before reaching it but for a split moment Applejack had been scared. Rorschach looked like he genuinely meant to hurt her. The malice in his eyes alone had scared her stiff. Who were those hatful eyes meant for, she wondered.
Recognition replaced instinct when Rorschach saw it was just her. The hard lines of his face slackened into forced apathy. His cheeks were still wet and he was still disheveled but if she hadn't heard him crying a moment before Applejack wouldn't have known he was upset by the look on his face.
He didn't look upset or angry with her. On the contrary, he didn't show any emotion. This passiveness was more frightening than anger and gave the orange pony a terrible unnerving feeling.
"Are you okay?" Applejack asked even though she knew it was a pointless question. He very obviously was not okay. "I heard you cryin' an thought ya might be hurt."
Rorschach said nothing for a while, just calmly and slowly wiped the moisture off his face. Applejack was ready to leave, resigned to simply knowing he was at least out of his nightmare, when the human finally spoke. His voice was rougher than she was used to hearing it and it sounded sharp through the silence of the still night air. "I'm fine. Just a bad dream."
Applejack wanted to roll her eyes but didn't. "Applebloom has bad dreams. That was a nightmare, Rorschach. What in Equestria were you dreamin' about?" She regretted asking as soon as the words left her mouth. The way Rorschach's fists and muscles tensed told her all she needed to know. 'It isn't up for discussion. I don't want to talk about it.' She could read that much.
"Was a bad dream is all." He replies. "Knew sleeping in the house was a bad idea."
It was comments like that that make Applejack realize she was never as close to the human as she thought she was getting. It seemed that even the loyalist and most dependable of ponies couldn't gain the trust of this man. They were so different, maybe too different, and it was these differences that sometimes scared her. Applejack could never understand what his world was like just as he would never completely understand hers.
Applejack only knew this when it came to Rorschach; for all his cynicism and hard exterior, he was lonely. The pony gently placed a hoof on his still hand, surprised when it wasn't removed. She found his eyes through the dark and put every ounce of sincerity she had into her gaze and her words. "Yer not alone. I don't know how it feels even after all this time but ah know it probably still ain't easy an... I know ya might not think of me as a friend but I think of you as mine. So... please try not ta feel so lonely." She didn't spend anytime lingering and instead headed for the door. There was really nothing else she could do for him.
Just as the faint creek of the door's hinges flittered through her ears, he called out. "Applejack."
The mare looked at him but he had long since stopped looking at her. His eyes were fixed on the wall opposite of him. For a moment she thought he might actually be about to thank her but then he simply said "Goodnight" in no special fashion and laid back down in the same position she'd found him.
Applejack was almost out the door when she said "Goodnight, Rorschach. Sweet dreams." and left him to sleep. She could only hope it would be dreamless and peaceful.
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The apple in Rorschach's hand was of questionable condition. It was darker than the other red delicious and had worm holes penetrating its surface all around. The fruit gave when he squeezed it slightly, mushy underneath bruised skin. Bad. He threw it into the correct bucket accordingly before picking up the next apple to start the process over again.
Beside him Granny smith was doing the same only she chanted to herself as she sorted the good apples from the bad.
"Good. Bad. Good. Bad. Good. Good. Good. Bad." It was one rhythm of many in the symphony of Apple Cider Season. The gears of the apple grinder kept its own churning pace as Big Macintosh galloped to keep it going. Applebloom was tasked with placing the apples in the grinder so her hooves constantly hit the dirt with a soft clop as she busied herself with galloping between stations. Applejack capped and stacked each finished barrel of cider with a satisfying fizz, finishing the smooth cycle they ran.
Even through this cacophony of working sounds, there was a tense air between human and pony. Neither had acknowledged what happened and sometimes Applejack found herself questioning if the event had even taken place. The memory was only a couple weeks old but already felt like a dream.
Rorschach was good at pretending nothing happened whereas Applejack found it too much like lying and couldn’t pretend as well. Every time she looked at him she remembered the terrifyingly emotionless face she’d seen behind that mask.
Sometimes it kept her awake at night and usually distracted her from listening to whatever it was he had to say. It obviously wasn't a good thing and especially so close to cider season. The family would begin sales next week and they were already barely making the schedule.
The mare pushed it out of her mind as she capped off the third barrel with a hard thunk. Rorschach was a much needed and much appreciated helping hand but he only did so much to speed along the process. Applejack thought about asking her friends but knew better not to. This was family business.
Seven barrels latter, the sun was setting and the Apple family was getting tired. Applebloom and Granny Smith were taking the empty Apple baskets up to the house while colt, mare, and human moved the cider barrels into the barn.
As they were finishing up, each barrel stacked neatly upon the other, Big Mackintosh stopped dead center in the entrance of the barn door, cutting a line between Rorschach and Applejack that left the mare to walk on to the house alone.
"Rorschach, can we talk?" He asked bluntly.
The colt looked over his shoulder at Applejack who had stopped, curious, and gestured for her to continue up to the house. Applejack was reluctant and only moved when Rorschach gave her a look and a slight nod.
"Suppose I have no choice now." Rorschach said, crossing his arms. "What do you want to talk about?"
"What happened between you an AJ? She's been actin' a might strange for two weeks now." Big Mac asked when he was sure his sister was out of earshot. "She's been avoidin' you like the pony pox an’ that girl loves you."
It was no secret that Applejack admired him greatly but the use of that word still made Rorschach flinch. "Don't know." He lied. "Don't understand it either."
The colt looked at him glaringly and the human could have sworn it was dead center into his eyes. What was it about this family that let them read into him so deeply? Maybe he had finally let their unwavering softness touch him. Maybe he had just turned soft.
Big Mac just sighed through his nose. "Alright. Just please be careful with ‘er." He said with all the sincerity and authority of an older brother. "Ya know how gentle she can be."
Rorschach did know and affirmed such with a nod. The stallion turned with a nod and trotted up to the house. The request felt more like a threat to Rorschach's ears but even now he didn't find the colt too threatening. He shut the barn door with a loud creak and moved quickly up to his part of the barn in the loft. He knew it to be true but still hated it all the more. He was warming up to these ponies. He had turned into what he hated and it sickened him how much that didn't bother him.
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"What's wrong with you, AJ?" Rainbow Dash asked as she threw a stick for Tank which the tortoise caught in midair. It was the six friend's pony pet play date and Applejack had been acting slightly distant all day.
"Huh?" The orange pony shook her head. "Oh, it's nutin' Rainbow. Just been a might distracted lately."
"Is something the mater?" Twilight asked, interjecting. "You know you can ask us if there's something you need help with."
"I know, Twilight. You taught me that during Applebuck Season last year. No, it's nothin’ important. I'm just thinking about how we're going to make it in time for Cider Season. Maybe I shouldn't have taken the day off." It wasn't exactly lying but Applejack was definitely keeping the whole truth from them and by the looks on their faces they could tell.
Everypony and their pet were suddenly stopping to come over and add to the conversation. With her five friends in front of her, Applejack felt the pressure of the truth building up in her throat. "Girls..." She sighed. "It... It aint my place to be talkin' about another’s business..."
"Come on, Applejack. Whatever it is can't be that bad." Rainbow Dash said. "Spill! What's up?"
The cowpony, after several silent and tense moments, sighed heavily and sat down on the soft grass with her friends. "Somethin' happened between me an’ Rorschach."
Pinkie Pie gasped and started into a guessing game tyrant before Rarity shushed her with a hoof in the mouth. "What happened, dearie?" She asked, unusually interested.
The pony took a moment to think before starting again. "It wasn't really bad I guess... It was odd. Ya see, he stayed the night in the house that one evenin' Granny and Big Mac an’ Applebloom were out and... Well, I found him cryin' in the night... Sobbin' like a little foal…"
Everypony's face downturned in a sympathetic frown, even Dash's.
"He was havin' a nightmare I think. Kept muttering odd things… some about his world." She added. "It was heartbreakin'."
"Poor Rorschach..." Fluttershy said softly from behind her curtain of hair.
"Well, what happened next?" Pinkie asked, still leaning in for the rest, eagerly. "You woke him up, right?"
"Well, yeah..."
"Come on, AJ, what happened?"
"What happened, Applejack?"
Applejack looked at them with restrained tears and answered. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing."
The ponies exchanged confused looks. "What do you mean 'nothing'?" Twilight asked.
"Just that. Nuthin'. He just sat there an’ looked at me like he didn't have a bit of anythin' in him anymore. He was so... empty. I doubt he even saw me."
They were all quiet for a moment, trying to take in what their friend had just revealed to them. It was Pinkie who was first to talk. Well, she didn’t talk so much as her eyes went wide and she sat up straight with the goofiest grin on her face. The other ponies recognized it as her “idea” face and appropriately looked concerned.
“Applejack,” The optimistic pink pony put a hoof on her friend’s shoulder and smiled impossibly wide. “don’t worry about a thing. Your old friend Pinkie has an idea that’ll remind that silly old filly why we’re his friends and that’ll turn that frown upside-down!” She enthusiastically flipped onto her front hooves as she spoke, illustrating a frown flipping with her own smile.
It really wasn’t necessary that Pinkie’s friends ask what this cure-all master plan was, (they all had an inkling it was the same solution she always had to a sad pony’s disposition) but one of them had to ask, just to confirm what they all were thinking.
“An’ what would that be?” Applejack asked.
“A PARTY!”
((To be continued))
