In the far dimensions of time and space, in the small town of Ponyville of the planet Equestria lived magnificent creatures, the ponies. They were a peace loving and tolerant race of what humans call horses. But I the Doctor, have been mistakenly transported to this dimension in the TARDIS. All I remember is the TARDIS acting strangely then all faded to black. When I awoke the world looked different, I looked to my hands and they seemed different. There were no fingers, only one big- now what are those called- ah yes, hooves. Somehow I have become this horse! As I exited the TARDIS, I noticed the world was full of these horses, magnificent, wonderful horses! They were all shapes and colors, all going with their business as a giant wooden box appearing out of nowhere did not seem to bother them. As I looked up at the TARDIS, I noticed the sign said Pony Box instead of police. Now isn’t that peculiar? As I walked – wait is the correct term trotted? – through the town a horse – or is a pony? – came to me.
“Hi there stranger, I haven’t seen you around, what is your name?” inquired a purple horse with a horn on its head. It seemed to have stars on its flank.
“Well I’m the Doctor,” I replied promptly, “now the question is, who are you?”
“My name is Twilight Sparkle,” said the purple pony, “and your name is just Doctor? Doctor Who?”
“No, just the Doctor.”
“Hmm, okay then where are you from then?” questioned Twilight Sparkle, now what kind of name is that?
“I really don’t know,” I replied.
“Well then…I will introduce you to the town of Ponyville, it is a great place filled with many ponies (ah they are called ponies) and it is a great place to meet new friends! I live at the library close to the middle of town, want to come look?” Twilight said.
I replied, “No I just want to walk around, see the sights as you would say.”
“Okay then see you around!” and Twilight trotted away.
As I walked through town, I noticed different types of ponies going about their business. There are horses with horns on their heads – ah what do humans call them?...Ah Ha! Unicorns that’s right! – used some kind of power to manipulate objects with their horns. Amazing! Then I noticed these ponies with wings – now I know the name, some kind of human myth? Some ancient stories… oh right a pegasus - flying about, moving clouds and controlling the weather. Fantastic! They can control the weather without machines! How amazing these ponies are!
“Outta the way!”
I look up and there is this blue pegasus flying straight at me! I side step the pony and she – or is it he? – crashes to the ground. I notice a multitude of colors on her tail and hair in a very familiar pattern – it is like a human weather event- after a rain… colors out of prism… oh right a rainbow! This pegasus had a rainbow pattern on her hair – well thinking about it isn’t it called a mane? – and its tail. As the pony gets up it is scratching its head with its hoof and looks at me.
“Ow! That was a crash…” replied the mysterious rainbow colored pony, “good thing you got outta the way, say what is your name?”
“Well I’m the Doctor, and you are?”
“I’m Rainbow Dash, and say, you’re a doctor, can you give me a checkup?”
“Um, well, you seem okay,” I stutter, “but I’m not really that kind of doctor.”
Rainbow Dash, I mean seriously who comes up with these names? Cartoonists? Looks at me and then stares at my flank.
“Hmmm, well your cutie mark is a… um… some kind of sand in a glass?”
“I believe the word you are looking for is an hourglass.”
I was wondering about that mark on my flank, what is it for? This Rainbow Dash has a cloud with a rainbow colored lightning bolt coming out of it, what could that represent?
“Yeah an hourglass, that was my second guess. That must mean you do something with time, right?”
Ah, these so called cutie marks are markers for one’s profession, and mine fits me perfectly!
“Quite right Rainbow Dash!” I exclaimed, “but what does yours mean?”
“You are not from around here are you? I’m the fastest pony in Equestria! I’m as fast as lightning!”
As the word lightning was said, a lightning bolt came out behind Rainbow and he lept up and cowered behind me. Only a moment later she looks up and yells, “hey Derpy, I don’t need the emphasis every time I say lightning!”
“Sorry Rainbow Dash!” cries this mysterious gray pegasus. Now I’ve heard this term before on Earth, is it some kind of what humans call, an Internet meme? I don’t know point is Rainbow then realizes her folly and quickly jumps to my side.
“Well gotta go, I need to practice my moves, I’m going to be a Wonderbolt!”
What has happened to my life? I once was the all-powerful god of chaos, and now look at me; I’m the star statue in the garden of Canterlot. If it wasn’t for those wretched elements of harmony, I would be the ruler of all Equestria, not that filthy Celestia. I, Discord, will get revenge on these ponies, if it the last thing I do! Now if I only can get out of this infernal form I can rain chaos from the skies.
“Now who isssss thisssss?”
Now what was that? The voice came from behind me. I couldn’t put my foot on it, it seems the voice originated from some kind of snake?
“It sssseemsss we have a living sssstatue,” the voice hissed once more, “and with a vengeful sssspirit I might add.”
“You are right brother, we can make him one of usssss!” hissed another. There is more than one, now I am feeling a little uncomfortable.
Bzzzzt!
All of the sudden I felt I can move once more! But as I turned around to see the mysterious voices, there stood two more statues, but in a peculiar stance. They were covering their eyes, like they were weeping. I turned around again and was about go off into the world when…
“Don’t go, and don’t turn around, “screamed the voices, “we will explain your new found abilitiesssss.”
Now that caught my attention. New abilities eh? “Now what would those ‘abilities’ be and how would it compare to my mastery of CHAOS!”
“Unfortunately your old abilitiesssss of what you call chaos is losssst,” answered the being,” but you have gained an ability to remain immortal for all time!”
No more powers of chaos? What should I do now? What is my life without chaos?
“You have my attention.”
“Now you cannot move when you are looked upon by any being, including ourselvessssss,” continued the statues, “and the way to kill otherssss isssss to send them back in time, to whither and rot into old age.”
Now I don’t like that first clause, I like to have other ponies seeing my handiwork, but I do like that second clause. Sending ponies back in time to suffer life in a time where no pony knows them now that is the perfect way to get revenge!
“We will watch as you conduct your revenge, but always remember to keep out of otherssss sight, or you will remain a ssstatue.”
“Is there a way to get my other powers back?” I questioned as I turned around. But I looked and there was nobody in sight.
“Oh well, I might as well as test my new found powers on the next pony I find…”
“I walked out of the garden and away from the horrendous castle of Canterlot and was going down the road when all of a sudden I froze. I saw ahead of me a green filly walking along the road, staring at me.
“Well isn’t that a strange statue for this here parts,” said the filly.
“Come along younging, we need to reach Ponyville and meet with the Apple family to look for work, “cried for what I guess to be the parents. This filly seems to be the perfect test for my powers. As soon as she turns around I run to her side and touch her. As I touch her, she magically disappears! Now before the other ponies notice me, I scurry into the nearby forest, on my way to those blasted ponies in Ponyville…
“Whaaaat happened?” as I rub my forehead with my hoof. One moment I was with my family and the next I’m in this forest with no one in sight. I look around and found a road. I walked along it for what seems like forever. Then a wagon pulls alongside me.
“Hey there little filly, what is a cute little mare like you walking along this road by yourself?” said the driver.
“Well I was with my family then I blacked out for a moment and lost em, can you help me find them?”
“Sure you can tag along, we are headed to Canterlot to see Princess Celestia to ask for some land to plant some apples. Oh and by the way what’s your name?”
“Oh my name is Granny Smith.” I say as I jump into the wagon.
Ponyville is such a marvelous place! All these ponies coexist without war or even weapons of any kind! Amazing those humans can’t even fathom going a whole century without firing a shot in anger, while these ponies easily pull this feat. As I explore the town once more after my encounter with Rainbow Dash, I see a pastry shop full of cakes and cupcakes. I figured I needed a snack and went inside. There I found this pink pony jumping around the room, humming a tune.
“Well hello there mystery pony, what’s your name? My name is Pinkie Pie!” said the obviously cheery pony.
“I’m the Doctor and I’m just looking for a snack, it’s been a long journey,” I replied.
“Well then Doctor whoever you are, we got plenty of snacks, we got cakes, muffins, cookies, cinnamon buns, apple cider, apple sauce, cheery chimchungas, pies, and my favorite cupcakes!” Pinkie said. At each item on the list I was whisked to each food and shown with enthusiastic flair. This pony had no wings or a horn, how is she doing this with such speed?
“Well, I will take some cupcakes then, “I said, “to go as well.”
“I will have up in a jiffy!” cried Pinkie as she went into the next room.
As Pinkie left the room, the door opened and a yellow pony with pink hair walked in. as soon as she sees me, she backs away slowly.
“I guess I will return later if you’re busy Pinkie Pie,” muttered this mysterious shy pony.
Pinkie then came back through the door with a bag then says to the other pony, “no need Fluttershy, I’m not busy at all, the Doctor just came in and ordered some scrumptious cupcakes!”
Fluttershy is her name then, fits her perfectly, and the name is not silly at all. Fluttershy then mutters, “Well I hope not be intruding then Doctor, but we can do this another time Pinkie.”
“Nonsense! Hey Doctor, where are you from anyway, I haven’t seen you around here before,” questioned Pinkie.
“I’m not from around here, I’m just a traveler and came here by accident.”
“Well since this is your first visit to Ponyville, make this cupcake on the house! Of course I don’t literally mean on the house, but in the house, which would make this be eaten here…” as Pinkie Pie went on and on about my cupcake price, I slip out the door and let out a sigh of relief. Out of all the ponies I met today, I can say Pinkie Pie is the strangest. Fluttershy seems nice, but then again I haven’t really talked to her yet. As I munch on the cupcake, strange eating without fingers…, I walk around some more. As I wander I suddenly walk into another pony. We fall to the ground and I heard a bag rip open and gems and jewels of all sizes spill across the ground.
“Hey, an excuse me would suffice stranger, hmph!” cried a white unicorn with a curly purple mane.
“I’m sorry, excuse me, let me help you with that,” I say as I help pick up the jewels. These rocks are simply marvelous and should belong in a museum, not a knapsack.
“Well thank you stranger, my name’s Rarity, what’s yours, if I may ask?” questions the pony.
“Madam, my name is the Doctor,” I answer.
“Well then, Doctor, I must be going, I have some dresses to make for some customers,” she says as Rarity walks off.
Wasn’t that a pleasant encounter? And what did she say? Make dresses, with those jewels? These ponies have a high sense of fashion if I would say so myself. Sewing jewels into clothing doesn’t even happen on Earth, or Gallafrey.
I soon wandered out of town then found a new sight, apple trees. Interesting. These ponies, without any fingers to grasp tools of any kind, can create farms? Or build this marvelous town? This question boggled my mind as I went down the dirt path.
“Watch out!”
The cry startled me as soon a dog runs by. I was spun around then three fillies (that is the correct term for child ponies?) run by right after it. I spin around even more and when I finally stop, I am very dizzy.
“Woah Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Bell, Wiona isn’t for catching,” shouted another pony. This one is orange with a cowboy hat? Is that what those hats are called? Well they are not common in England, but I think they are common in the American South. “Those three, always trying to get their cutie marks, oh where are my manners, my name is Applejack.”
“Nice to meet you, I’m the Doctor,” I reply, “by the way, why are those three ponies chasing that dog?” “They are trying to see if dog catching would be their special talent, but I keep telling em, they have to wait and see for their cutie marks.”
“How long have they been trying to find this so called special talent?”
“Oh they just doing this for a few months now, but every attempt fails. Hey would you like to come on the farm to try some apple pie? It’s freshly made.”
How could I refuse fresh apple pie? “I would love to join you,” I reply.
“Well I hope you don’t mind, but I have a few friends over as well.” "No I don't mind at all."
As I walked through the farm, I see fields upon fields of apple trees, as far as the eye can see. There are so many apple trees, how does just one family of ponies harvest all these apples? Do they hit the tree with their hind legs and the apples just fall to the ground? Well, this a matter for another time as I approach the house, I notice the previous ponies I met earlier in the day were there, Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and Rarity. They all immediately recognize me as I enter their vision. “Hello Doctor,” Twilight said, “good to see you join us.” “Well I can’t deny fresh apple pie.” “How can anyone deny apple pie at any stage,” Pinkie Pie said, “I surely cannot deny pie when it’s made, been around for a few days, or even when it’s almost expired. Actually I don’t think a pie would taste that good at that stage, but still pies are always great!” Everyone shook their heads as Pinkie went on and on. Then an old green mare came with slices of apple pie and serves them to all of us. “Just made tis morning,” she says. As we chow down on the scrumptious pie (I have to say one of the best pies I’ve ever had, and this is coming from a 903 year old Timelord), a wagon comes up the road and turns onto the farm. Applejack got up immediately and says hello to the newcomers. As Applejack talks, the green pony looks at the visitors with suspicious recognition. As the visitors came closer, the pony then seems to realize who they were. “These folk come from afar and are looking for work,” Applejack said, “hey Granny Smith, do we have any openings?” “Hey you look familiar, do I know you from somewhere?” Granny Smith said. “We have never been here in Ponyville, but we have just recently lost our filly, her name was Granny Smith.” “Well my name’s Granny Smith.” “You don’t say, you look like our little filly, except just a lot older.” Where have I heard this before, a small child goes missing and the parents find them much older? Is it Daleks? No can’t be they would be instantly killed and this world would be doomed. Cybermen? How could they upgrade ponies? Wait a minute…it can’t be… how would they? “Hey sonny, what’s your name anyway?” asks Granny Smith. “Well my name’s Johnny Appleseed” Granny Smith’s mouth dropped. It looked like she couldn’t believe her own senses. She then went as fast as she could to the visitor saying “oh my long lost parents, I thought I would never see you again!” “What are you muttering about? Are you senile?” asked the surprised Johnny. “I was your filly, when I last saw you I saw a mysterious statue on the road you just came from, but when I turned around to go to you, it went all to black, and I woke to find my other family. I have been living life as part of the Apple family since then, “Granny explained. “I won’t believe it until I see it,” muttered the newcomer. “I’ll prove it. We were just on a wagon heading for this here farm to find work bucking apple trees since there was no work closer to Canterlot than Ponyville from home, at Apple Town.” “Well I’ll be, you are our little filly, but how did you get here, and so old?” “I think I may have an answer to your question,” I say. Everyone turns to me as I explain. “This event proves the existence of a very dangerous foe in Ponyville, an alien species that goes by the name of the Weeping Angels, but I have no clue how they managed to get here, let alone remain undetected for this long.” “Before you go on Doctor, what are these weeping whodoyoucallits?” questions Rainbow Dash. “It is quite simple Rainbow, Weeping Angels are a species that have lived for all time, and in order to become the ultimate assassins, they became what they are today, living statues. Their premise was to live for all eternity because you can’t kill a rock, but they have one weakness. Angels cannot move for when looked upon, they are statues. But look away for one second, even blink, and they will teleport you to any point in the past, to live out the rest of your life in an unknown world with no relatives. Then they feed on the energies of the years you will not live in the present. This is what makes Weeping Angels so deadly.” “Is there any way to reverse the effects of the Weeping Angels?” questioned Granny Smith. “I have not found any way to reverse the effects, but I can stop them from taking anymore ponies from us today. Now Granny Smith, what did that strange statue look like?” “It was a long time ago, I think it had a goat head, body like a brown snake, two differnet horns…” Everyone turned as Twilight gasps. “It’s Discord; he’s back as what you call a Weeping Angel!”
Now everypony (is the term correct?) was in a state of panic. Granny was waddling one way while the Appleseeds cowered in fear.
“EVERYONE! CALM DOWN!” I shout, “panic is not the answer, we need to stand together in order to defeat this threat.”
Slowly they all calmed down. “What should we do Doctor?” questioned Twilight, “I mean the thing you call a ‘Weeping Angel’ sounds to be more powerful than anything we have in all of Equestria.”
“You are absolutely correct that Weeping Angels are more powerful that you may have faced but remember their weakness, sight. We need to find this Discord and catch him before any damage is done.”
“Well I’m not staying here!” panicked Johnny Appleseed, “I’m getting out of here!”
As we here his running footsteps rush away, we suddenly hear silence. “There is no way he is fast enough to not hear his hooves anymore…” commented Rainbow.
“He was taken, by Discord”
Now everypony’s attention was now on me. “I now want every pony to stay together, we split up, it means he will take us down one by one.” I commanded, and everypony listened. We gathered into a small group and listened. All of the sudden the night was silent, deathly silent (no pun intended, actually, maybe it was).
“Somethins’ wrong, the farm is never silent, “muttered Applejack. She is right. A farm is never silent, there is always some form of sound like a cricket or whatever insects are in this world. But only silence prevailed. It must be this Discord Twilight spoke about. As we round the corner, I spot a statue. “Hm what is this then?” Then I blinked.
Right when I opened my eyes, the statue was closer, as in in my face closer! I nearly got stranded in the past on a strange planet I never knew about until today! I inch away as quickly as I could, keeping my eyes on the statue.
“I believe I have found your Discord,” I said as I inched around the corner. But as soon as I rounded the corner, the others went to see but found nothing.
“He could be as fast as me,” Rainbow said, “and I am the fastest pony in Equestria.”
Everyone convened together rand whispered to one another.
“Um, maybe, we could talk to Discord and reason with him, and tell him nicely to leave us alone?” suggested Fluttershy.
“No, we cannot do that, the best plan is a full front attack and smash him into pieces!” commanded Rainbow Dash.
“No that plan is foolish, we need a better approach,” replied Applejack.
“Applejack is right, we need to plan that involves Discord as a permanent statue, which according to the Doctor, means constant surveillance,” remarked Twilight.
“You are brilliant Twilight Sparkle, just brilliant!”
“But how to keep Discord under surveillance is challenging, everyone needs to blink sooner or later,” Rarity mentions.
“You are also correct there as well Rarity, what to do, what to do!”
“I think we should have a party and invite Discord, I mean he can make chocolate rain with his chaos powers, you hear that CHOCOLATE RAIN!” Pinkie Pie said.
“Pinkie Pie, you are so random!” Rainbow Dash replied.
“Enough of this, we need to drive this menace away from Ponyville and keep him from ruining other ponies’ lives,” Granny Smith commanded.
“Okay then here is the plan, we will split into teams of two, each pony looking for Discord, so who will be the teams?” I said.
“Me and Fluttershy will take the skies,” Rainbow said.
“I will go with Rarity, we will make a good team,” Twilight replied.
“Don’t leave me with Pinkie, ugh, great,” moaned Applejack. “Doctor can you take Pinkie, she can be, too excited.”
“Fine I’ll partner up with her, you can stay with your family, for everypony else, Allons-y!”
Rainbow and Fluttershy took to the skies while Twilight and Rarity went towards the apple forest. Pinkie and I headed towards the barn. Soon, I knew why Applejack was so hesitant to take Pinkie as a partner.
“So this weeping angel thing, is there more of them? I wouldn’t like if there were more of them, then it would spoil the party and everypony can’t smile without a party,” and it goes on and on. But being the nice Timelord that I am, I just ignored it and looked out for Discord. As we searched the outside of the barn, Fluttershy came down and said, “Um excuse me Doctor, but I think we found Discord, he is, um, near the apple trees to the north.”
“Thank you Fluttershy, and what about Rainbow Dash?”
“Oh, she went to get Twilight and Rarity, if that is okay?”
“Oh right, that is perfectly fine and a brilliant plan, now let’s go meet them.”
As we head to the forest, I felt a presence watching us. Could it be our enemy? But when I looked around there was nothing, so I think it was my imagination, if that is what humans (or ponies) call it.
We soon all met up and the ponies were starting to panic once more. “I haven’t seen him but I hear rustling of the leaves and running footsteps, how about everypony else?” questioned Twilight.
“I thought I saw him over there, no wait, over here, or maybe was it over here?” Pinkie Pie said as she zoomed from spot to spot with lightning speed. How is she doing this?
“Everypony calm down, we need to concentrate and listen, if you hear anything, just maybe it is Discord and look in that direction.” I commanded.
Soon everypony calmed down and listened. Soon after I heard a rustle of dry leaves and I looked. Nothing was there but some leaves were in the air, as if blown in the air by some kind of wind. I know it wasn’t wind because the night was quiet, a little too quiet (I always wanted to say that! Or maybe was I always wanted to think it?). Then a shrill scream rumbled through the air. It was Fluttershy! We all rushed to her and found Discord within inches of touching Fluttershy. Luckily some pony arrived just in time because Fluttershy was cowering in fear. We all collectively breathed a sigh of relief. It was Rainbow Dash that saved Fluttershy from the terror of an unknown destination in history or future.
“I was just flying around when I saw Fluttershy go into the woods calling out for some animals then I saw leaves blowing around so I investigated. I guess I found Fluttershy just when Discord was about to get her.” Rainbow said.
Then came a problem. How will we keep Discord as a statue? So we stayed up the rest of the night and by morning we were bone tired. Twilight decided to write to Princess Celestia (who is this?) about the conundrum. Just as the last of us was going to collapse with sleep, an unknown pony that was a unicorn and a pegasus at the same time. She was blue with a mane of a starry night and had a moon cutie mark. Does this pony have something to do with the moon?
“WELL HELLO EVERYPONY!” shouted the unknown mare.
Everyone jumped up from the sudden noise. “How many times do I have to tell you Princess Luna, we speak in a lower tone of voice here,” Twilight said.
“But I like the royal Canterlot voice…” signed Luna.
“Well there is a time and place for it and this isn’t it, so did Celestia receive my letter?”
“Yes my sister got the letter and sent me with this artifact called the Eye of Skadi, it is said that it acts like a constant eye, never blinking. Is that what you need?”
“Yes perfect! Just what we need to keep Discord a statue. Now to move Discord somewhere safe.” I say.
“Oh I’ll just have my guards take him with us.”
“Well then that is brilliant, thank you for taking this out of our hands your majesty.”
“You’re welcome, and your name is?”
“Oh I’m the Doctor, no Doctor Who, no Doctor Pony, just the Doctor”
“Okay then, Doctor, may we meet again sometime”
“Will do Princess.” And Luna left with Discord in hands of the guards.
“So now that all is said and done, I must be going.”
“No don’t go, you can stay in Ponyville and have all the parties and cakes with us!” Pinkie Pie says.
“I’m sorry I’m not much of the stick around type, I need to go back to my dimension, where I have other friends and species who need my assistance.”
Everypony says bye, except for Rainbow Dash.
“Can I go with you, I mean if you don’t mind bringing the fastest pony in Equstria.”
“Actually I was about to ask you all if you wanted to go with me for one trip each, does that sound good to you?”
Everypony then looked up and smiled. They each wanted to go.
“My TARDIS which means Time And Relative Dimension In Space can travel throughout the dimensions and space.” I proclaim.
“Well me first! I want to go somewhere else than boring old Equestria,” Rainbow commands.
“Alright then, I will take Rainbow Dash first.” Everypony sighs. “Did I forget to mention that the TARDIS is a time machine as well?”
Everypony attention is now piqued. They now all knew they wouldn’t be waiting long for their turns.
As Rainbow and I went back to the TARDIS and said goodbye, Rainbow couldn’t stop saying “Ohmigod!” When we reached the good ol TARDIS Rainbow said “That’s it? All it is a small little blue pony box, how does it travel?”
“Don’t be dissing the TARDIS, but you still haven’t been inside…”
I opened the door and Rainbow did what everybody does, looks inside then leaves looks at the exterior, then the interior with awe. “How is this possible, it’s bigger on the inside!” Rainbow questions.
“Well time to leave!” I say as I start pulling the rods as the engine whirs towards my destination. As we start, I start to get very tired. As I hear the TARDIS purring along the world goes to black…