Chapter 1: Let the pranks begin!
It was a regular day in Canterlot. The sun was shining, the birds were singing and Celestia was enjoying a rare day off.
She had so many things planned for today, but due to random events she could not even do one of them. So now she is laying on her back with her wings splayed out all over her bed, bored out of her mind.
“This is my first day off in over a millennia. How can I be so bored and why did an ancient evil escape today of all day. Now Twilight is too busy saving the world, to hang out with me.”
Celestia rolled over on her stomach, a sad pout started forming on her face, she stuck out her tongue and blew a sad raspberry, it echoed sadly through her bedchamber.
She rolled over again and a massive fart echoed through her bedchamber, with the reflexes of a cat and the speed of a alicorn, she looked over at her flank. She, stared at it for a moment.
“By all that is holy! What the hell was that?...............That wasn’t me, was it?”
She got out of bed and started moving her pillows, sheets and such around. She found the biggest whoopee cushion she had ever seen, Discord’s face was plastered in the middle, his face was twisted beyond anything she had ever seen, it was wrinkled and had a very odd smile.
Underneath the face were a few words in bright yellow, they read.
“U mad, Celly?”
Celestia threw the cushion in the trash, with a satisfying slam it descended into the dark pits of her trashcan. She walked into her bathroom. She sat down in front of her mirror and stared at her reflection for a bit.
“I'm bored!” She moaned.
She lazily played with her hair, somehow ending up with a pair of pigtails. The gears in her head started turning, what if she disguised herself as a filly and pulled a prank on Discord.
Celestia’s horn started glowing and she regressed herself to a four and a half year old filly. Her entire body tingled as it shrunk, her crown fell of her head and bounced on the floor with a high pitched noise.
She had no clue why, but she loved the feeling of regressing herself physically, perhaps it was
the tingling sensation , or maybe because she felt like she could completely ignore her duties for a bit, whatever the case, she, sometimes wished she could enjoy it more often.
Once the regression had come to an end, she, looked into her mirror and pulled out a small checklist.
“Pigtails, cheek. Missing a fwont tooth, cheek. Hidden wings, cheek. Adorable squeaky voice, cheek. 30% of my overall magical abilities, cheek. Cutie mark gone, cheek. and presto, a super adowable little filly. Discord won’t know what hit him. Mwahahahaha!”
Her evil, yet adorable laughter echoed throughout the bathroom.
Chibilestia, walked out of the bathroom and up to the door leading out into the hallways. Her master plan was in progress, but she quickly realized something once she stood in front of the door.
“I can’t reach the doow. S#it!” Celestia quickly covered her mouth with her tiny hooves.
“I mean. Doodie! I don’t want to get in twouble. Hihihihi.” She covered her mouth and giggled.
The guard stationed outside her door had heard the whole thing, so he carefully opened the door revealing a cute little filly, which resembled Celestia, a bit too much to be a coincidence.
He shook his head. “................................I’m not even going to ask. Have fun princess.”
Celestia waved her hoof, motioning for him to get closer. He laid down and lowered his head until he was on eye level with the princess.
She grabbed his ear and whispered. “Keep this to your self. It’s an owdew.”
The guard got back in position and saluted. “Yes! My princess! My lips are sealed!”
Celestia, waved to the guard as she walked down the hall. She did not want everyone to see her, so she cast an invisibility spell on herself.
As Celestia faded away, the guard sighed. “I'm getting too old for this crap.”
`Now all I need to do is find, Discord. He is in for a treat. Mwahahahaha!´ Her evil laughter echoed in her head.
Discord was sitting in the garden, reading the latest issue of Equestria daily and sipping on some of his trademarked chocolate milk.
“Hmm, Sweetie bell is apparently a robot. Called it!” He read out loud for no particular reason.
Solid Snakelestia, sneaked up behind Discord, she was holding a bottle of hot sauce in her hoof. Her intentions were clear.
`I hope you like blazing hot chocolate milk. Mwahahaha!´
Discord emptied his glass, he grabbed a nearby cloud and squeezed it like dishrag, thus refilling his glass, with the chocolaty goodness.
Chibilestia saw her chance, she picked up a rock and threw it in the nearby pond.
Discord turned his head. “Hmm, what was that?”
Chibilestia, poured the hot sauce into his glass. She backed away slowly and a sly grin spread across her face.
`Victory is mine!´
Discord rolled his shoulders and grabbed his glass of very hot chocolate milk. Celestia’s, grin got bigger. He slowly put it to his lips. Celestia’s smile transformed into a full blown smile.
Discord, drank the glass and threw the chocolate milk into the pond.
KABOOM!
The explosion was a lot bigger than usual, the force was enough to send all the water in the pond into the air. Discord looked over at the pond and scratched his head.
“Hmm. That is odd, I must have put too much C4 into my chocolate milk mix this morning. Whatever the pond was boring anyway.”
He tugged at his beard. “I wonder if Luna is awake yet?” Discord snapped his talon and teleported away.
Celestia came out of her invisibility. “F#ck! I mean. Doddie! Can this get any worse?”
A shadow appeared below her hooves and she looked up into the sky.
“DODDIE!”
SPLASH!
The water from the pond hit her like an atom bomb, she was drenched and she swore that she could hear Discord laughing in the distance. She spat some water onto the ground, her anger caused the water to evaporate into steam, she snorted angrily and flames shot out her nose.
“THIS IS NOT OVER! YOU HEAR ME?!”
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Discord, was walking down the hallway leading to Luna’s room, he was humming a random tune as he went by.
Chibilestia, knew that Luna was out, so she planted a bucket of ogre-snot, on top of Luna’s door. She had hidden herself under Luna’s bed so she would get a perfect view of the whole thing.
`Mwahahahahaha! It will take him weeks to get all that goo out of his beard, this is perfect and he deserves no less.´
Discord, reached for the doorknob, Celestia’s smile was wider than ever and she felt like she was about to burst from pure excitement.
He opened the door and stood in the doorway, much to Celestia’s disappointment, the bucket did not fall on him, it looked like it was suspended in the air, she saw no magic aura or anything.
“Luna! Are you in here?” Discord looked over the room.
“I guess not, I hope you like it when your bed is filled with draconequus hair. Hahahaha!”
Discord jumped in the air and with a loud thud he landed on Luna’s bed. Celestia was getting sandwiched between the mattress and the floor, she was in pain.
Discord pulled out a razor and proceeded to shave his stomach, revealing a rock hard six pack. He spread the hair out evenly and got out of the bed, he looked down at his work and then at his sixpack.
“Good thing I shaved, I was dying of thirst.”
He grabbed onto his six pack and pulled out a six pack of Centaur energy drink, he downed them all at the same time and belched loudly. He snapped his talon and a new six pack appeared, a few seconds later his stomach was covered in hair again.
“Hahahaha. The perfect crime.”
He snapped his talon and a toilet appeared, he proceeded to flush himself down, Boogerman style.
Celestia, crawled out from under the bed, she was breathing heavily, her left eye was twitching and a vein in her forehead was pulsating with rage. She walked up to the doorway and sat down.
“How does he do that?!”
In rage she punched the door with her hoof. The bucket made some rumbling noise and she looked up, it was coming her way.
“Why?” She said in a very sad tone.
Splat!
Celestia, was covered in ogre-snot and she was not happy, her face was redder than a ripe tomato and her fury was so hot that she melted through the floor.
A more soggy splat!
She landed in a pile of manure, it was normally used as growth agent for all the plants in the castle garden.
She slowly emerged from the pile of manure, her faced spelled out on word. DEATH….TO…... DISCORD.
She crawled out of the pile of nasty, sat down on the floor, taking deep breaths, she was trying to calm herself.
“I don’t want to kill him.” *Inhale*
“I only want to prank him” *Exhale*
“Okay I’m done with my mantra, I’m the purest form of inner peace this world will ever see.”
“They say third time's the charm, It’s time to start planning for the ultimate prank.”
She sniffed the air and puked in her mouth a little, she forced it back down her throat and teleported to her bathroom.
“But first I need a bath.”
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A quick bath later. Celestia was laying on her bed, she had let her pigtails out, allowing her hair to flatten while it dried. She was scribbling down her master plan on a board.
“And then I’ll throw the banana peel on the floor and he will slip on it. It’s perfect!”
Then reality hit her and her mood went from, +10 happy to -5 sad.
“What am I thinking? This is not a slapstick comic strip, there is no way he will slip on a banana peel.” Celestia, sighed.
She wiped the board clean and started to think again. She was chewing on her blackboard pen and scratching her cheek.
“I’m all out of ideas.”
In her darkest moments, the gods will come to her aid. Suddenly the sound of the clocktower echoed in her room. It rang eleven times.
“That’s it! Discord always takes a shower just before lunch. And I’m going to flush the toilet and boil him like a lobster! Bwahahahahahahaha!”
The guard outside the door face hoofed. “They need to get thicker doors at this place, so I don’t have to hear this kind of junk."
Celestia, did her hair into pigtails again and teleported into Discord’s room. She could hear the shower running, she sneaked inside in, hiding herself behind the toilet, she saw Discord, shadow in the shower, her eyes were sparkling as she climbed up to the flusher.
She was so focused on the flusher that she failed to notice that Discord was laying in the bathtub, he was watching the entire spectacle with a conceited grin plastered on his face.
'Bwahahahahaha! Boil Bi#ch boil!'
Celestia, pushed the flusher up and down several times, she could see steam escaping from the shower, but there was no scream. So she continued to pump it until she was out of breath.
She slide exhaustively down onto the floor, she was breathing fast, with her tongue hanging out of her mouth.
Discord, looked at the reader, pointing at Celestia, and spinned his finger on the opposing hand by the side of his head, while making a derpy face.
He cleared his throat. “Hmph! Celestia, your future husband will be incredibly disappointed if that is all the pumping you can do, he’ll be nowhere near done.”
Celestia, stared at Discord, for a moment, her chin fell to the floor and she looked over at the shower, she could still see his conture standing inside the shower. She looked back at Discord, who was laying in the tub with a conceited smile on his face.
“How?...........HOW CAN YOU BE IN TWO PLACES AT ONCE!?”
“Takes practice, dear.” Discord picked his ear.
“Tell me. How did you know I was going to do all these things, all of my pranks failed and backfired at me!”
Discord, looked at the reader again and said. “I have no idea what you are talking about Celestia.” He finished by blinking his left eye and giving a thumbs up.
“Discord! I’m over here! Look at me when I’m talking to you! I saw you in the shower, so how can you be in both the tub and the shower?”
“Well, my shadow is a bit picky and he does not like sharing the tub with me so while I take a bath he uses the shower.”
Celestia, rubbed the side of her head and mumbled something under her breath.
Discord, got out of the tub, he walked up to Celestia and picked her up.
“Anyway, you sound cranky, let’s put you down for a nap.”
Celestia tried to argue, but Discord, shoved a pacifier into her mouth.
“Hmmm Hmhmhmhmhm!” Celestia, mumbled behind the pacifier.
Discord, put her into a crib, which appeared out of nowhere, he tucked her in and started spinning a mobile, it played a lullaby.
Celestia tried to get out of the crib, but something was holding her down, she gave Discord, the deadliest stare she had ever given anything alive.
“Oh, my, you are a very cranky baby today.”
Discord, reached out with one of his fingers and touched her forehead, she instantly fell asleep.
“Sleep tightly, don’t let nightmare moon bite. Hahahahahahahahaha!”
A few hours later.
Celestia opened her eyes, she realized quickly that she was laying in a crib and then she remembered, how and why this had happened.
“That’s it, I’m done. He won.”
She spat out the pacifier and levitated herself out of the crib, whatever spell had held her there was now gone.
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Later that evening.
Celestia, was sitting by the dinner table munching grumpily on a banana. Luna was sitting in front of her eating her supper.
The silence was awkward and dull, so Luna, decided to break it.
“So, any particular reason for looking so adorable tonight, sister?”
“Shove a sock in it ,Luna.” Celestia said with a hint of annoyance in her voice.
“Such language is not suited for a filly your age, young lady, don’t make me put you to bed without dessert!”
The tone of her voice was motherly, but with a hint of tease, so it was obvious that Luna was just goofing around.
“Cram it! Luna, I’m not in the mood.” Celestia,finished her banana and threw the peel on the floor.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Celestia sighed in defeat, she told her sister everything about her master plans and all the failure she had suffered this day.
Luna, sighed.
“Sister, you out of all ponies should know that You can’t prank, Discord. And judging by your appearance, you have forgotten the usual thing, why is it so hard for you to remember that you can’t revert back to yourself with only 30% of your full power.”
“I don’t know, but now I’m stuck like this for the rest of my precious, day off. This sucks!”
“Well it’s still an improvement from last time you played around with an age spell. But I must admit, you were a very cute foal.”
“That was an accident! I did not expect my mind to regress as far as my body. Luckily I don’t remember anything from that embarrassing incident.”
“I still have pictures, you looked adorable with a diaper on your butt.” Luna smirked.
Celestia, ignored her sister and went into full pout mode.
Discord, materialised out of puddle of liquid metal and walked over to the sulking filly, he had a big goofy grin on his face.
“Well that is what you get for trying to prank, the king of pranks, missy. Hahahahaha! But now if you excuse me, I got somewhere to be, so I bid you one and a half ladies, goodnight.”
Discord, was not looking where he was going and stepped on the banana peel. He screamed loudly as he slipped, he did 1336 backflips before landing with a loud crash, straight on his face.
“Rats! I only needed one more backflip.” he muttered under his breath.
Celestia, jumped of her chair and danced around Discord’s face.
“I got you! I got you! I got you! I got you! I got you! I got you! I got you!”
Discord, pulled closed a sipper over her mouth and rose to his feets, he dusted himself off and looked straight into her eyes.
“That, doesn’t count!” His voice was cold as ice and more sinister than she had ever heard it before.
He snapped his talons and Bugs Bunny pulled him down into a hole.
“See I told you to take that left turn at, Albuquerque.”
“Okay, Doc, you were right”.
They tunneled out of the castle and into the sunset.
Luna, picked up her sister and unzipped the zipper on her mouth.
“That does count, congratulation Celestia!”
“YAY, VICTORY IS MINE!”
The end.