Fluttershy loves animals. Her special talent is taking care of them, after all. However, there is a darker side that her friends rarely see. Ever so often, a creature under her care suffers and not even she can fix it. She has grown accustomed to doing what needs to be done in those situations.
Perhaps a little too accustomed. When a tragedy hits close to home for her, she realizes that there are others out there suffering, and she can help them.
Fluttershy cradled the squirrel under her wing and gently carried him inside her house. He was very sick, and couldn't make the journey alone. It was a very important journey, though. It would make him very happy. He was suffering now. A nasty run in with a hawk, that had been run off when Fluttershy had used her Stare, had taken the strength from him. She could prolong his life if she had the desire to, but it would only mean more suffering for him. It would only mean an hour of suffering at best.
She closed the door behind her and gently laid the squirrel onto the table. She flashed him a warm smile and gently patted him on the head. "It's okay," she soothed. "Everything is going to be okay. I'm going to make it all better."
The squirrel gave her a weak squeak and took a heavy breath. It wouldn't be long now, but it was too long for Fluttershy's liking. She trotted over to the pantry and flew up so she could reach the top shelf. Behind the bags filled with various medical supplies was her box. The wretched, evil, peace-giving box. She pushed aside a box of bandages and reached inside. Her forelegs clamped around the hard wood of her box, and she pulled it out of the pantry. Landing on the ground, she placed it on the counter-top and gently lifted the lid. She flinched when she saw what was inside, as she always did, but she knew it had to be done.
It was an evil box. It brought the days to cry. It was a wonderful box. It brought peace.
She made a little tea for the squirrel and put just a smidgen of the contents of the box inside. Just a smidgen was all it took to make it work. It would be so fast.
She heard a squeak behind her and she turned her head to see her beloved Angel Bunny standing beside her, grinning happily. At the sight of Fluttershy's face, his grin and ears fell, and his gaze flickered between the box and his mistress. Fluttershy nodded sadly and closed the box. "It's a day to cry, Angel. It'll all be better soon."
Angel looked at the box with more than a little apprehension before hopping away. He was probably going to his favorite spot on the couch. He never watched.
Fluttershy balanced the tiny teacup on her hoof and flew back to where the squirrel lay on the table. Reality dripped from his body, staining the normally pristine tabletop.
She smiled comfortingly at the squirrel and placed the teacup down next to him. "It's okay, Mr. Squirrel. I can help make you all better." She used a wing to gently lift the squirrel's head up, and she looped one of her thicker feathers around the handle of the small teacup. She brought it to the squirrel's lips, and tilted it, allowing the squirrel to drink the droplets that were trickling towards him.
When he had finished, Fluttershy set the teacup down and lifted the squirrel with her wing. She nuzzled the top of his head and began humming a gentle lullaby. A small smile graced the squirrel's lips, but after a few seconds it was over. His body went limp as he closed his eyes.
Tears began forming at the corners of Fluttershy's eyes as she laid the squirrel back down on the table. He looked so peaceful, yet so empty at the same time. Like a carriage without a driver or passengers.
Knowing she could do no more, Fluttershy trudged back to the counter, her drooped wings dragging along the floor. Her box still sat there, right where she had left it. Some days she wished that she would come back to it to find that it had disappeared. It would be gone, and she wouldn't have to do this anymore. It never was. It was always right where she had left it. She lifted it up and slid it back into its normal place in the pantry. She moved the bandages back in front of the box.
Maybe if she couldn't see it, it would go away.
No, it couldn't go away. It was just as important of a tool as any of her other medical supplies. Sometimes it needed to be done, and she was the mare who had to do it. Besides, the animals she had used the box on would be in paradise, right? They wouldn't just cease to exist altogether, they would be in a place where they were eternally happy, and she had helped them get there. It had to be the truth; there was just no other option.
She shut the pantry door and landed again. It was time to see about arrangements for Mr. Squirrel. Some cleanup would be required too.
Before she could make her way back to the table, she heard a sharp knock on her door that caused her to squeak and jump back. She froze and stared at the door, wondering who could possibly want to disturb her now. Her cottage wasn't exactly on the beaten path, after all.
Another knock made her decide that she had best go answer the door. She trotted over to it and opened it a crack. "Hello?"
"Hiya!"
Fluttershy flinched back and almost slammed the door, but held back when the owner of the voice registered in her mind and she opened the door a little more. Behind it were her five friends; some old and some new. Pinkie and Rainbow Dash had been friends with her as long as she could remember, but Rarity, Applejack, and Twilight had only become friends with her recently. Twilight hadn't even been in town for more than a few weeks.
"Hello, girls," she said quietly.
"Good afternoon, Fluttershy," said Rarity. "The others and I thought that we should have picnic today, seeing as how there isn't a cloud in the sky and there is quite the lovely breeze."
"Me 'n Pinkie got some good food for it.” Applejack grinned and motioned to a picnic basket on Pinkie’s back. “Ah think it'd be a good time ta get ta know each other a little more."
Fluttershy's eyes scanned her friends, but her stomach clenched at the memory of what she had just done and she almost slammed the door in their faces. "I... uh... I don't know if today is the best day," she whispered. "I-it is nice out and all, but..." She sniffled and the tears that had been building up began streaking down her face. "I don't think so, girls."
Pinkie Pie, who had been previously bouncing up and down, screeched to a halt in mid-air and gently floated to the ground. Her smile had faded, and the lively aura that she normally had faded. "Oh..." Pinkie flattened her ears. "Is it a day to cry?"
Fluttershy whimpered and let out the quietest sob, but managed to gain the strength to weakly nod. "Yes."
"Okay." Pinkie gave Fluttershy a weak smile before turning to the rest of the group. "It may not be the best day after all, girls."
The other girls had looks of understanding and various degrees of sorrow on their faces, while Twilight merely looked confused. "Day to cry? What does that mean?"
Rarity put a hoof on Twilight's shoulder. "You haven't been in Ponyville long, darling, so you wouldn't understand. We'll explain later." Rarity turned her gaze back to Fluttershy and copied Pinkie's weak smile. "We'll leave you be, darling. If you do need anything, and I mean anything at all, do not hesitate for even a moment to ask."
"Okay," said Fluttershy weakly. "I... I'll be sure to do that, then."
With a round of solemn goodbyes, the five departed and Fluttershy closed the door behind them. She sighed and flattened her ears before collapsing onto her haunches and quietly sobbing.
The remaining five ponies trotted away from Fluttershy's house. Four of them had their ears flattened and were looking anywhere but back at the cottage. Twilight, for her part, was frowning and looking between the four of them.
"Okay... can anypony tell me what just happened?" She glanced back to Fluttershy's cottage. "What exactly is a day to cry?"
"It's..." Applejack sighed as the group reached the town. She motioned to her other friends. "Y'all go on, girls. Ah'll explain it ta Twilight."
"If you're sure, darling," said Rarity.
Applejack nodded and waved her away. "Ah'm sure. Y'all just go on and have a good day. Maybe we can get together tomorrow."
The other three nodded and said their solemn goodbyes as Applejack, Beckoned Twilight towards the park. They only got a few hooves before Twilight started up again. "Okay, so what exactly is going on again? Why is this 'a day to cry'?"
Applejack gave Twilight a wry smile and the two stopped at one of the park benches. They sat down on it and Applejack adjusted her hat on her head. "It's..." She sighed. "Everypony 'round here knows what it means, but we don't generally see it as polite ta talk about. Since yer new here, Ah'll say."
Twilight frowned. "Uh... okay."
"So y'all know that Fluttershy's special talent is takin' care of animals, right?"
Twilight nodded. "Yeah. I heard from Rarity that she really did a great job with Opal last week with a cold she had."
Applejack's wry smile returned and she chuckled slightly. "Yeah, the local vet says she'll probably put her outta business if'n she keeps up bein' as good as she is." Applejack's smile fell again. "But... uh... what do ya think happens when she can't fix 'em?"
Twilight raised an eyebrow and cocked her head. "What do you mean?"
"When an animal is hurt so bad that she can't do nothin'," Applejack replied.
"Well..." Twilight bit her lip thoughtfully and stared down at the ground. "I don't know. I haven't known her for that long, so I don't know how she does things." Twilight tapped the bench. "I mean, when an animal back in Canterlot got old our vet would have to..." Twilight's eyes widened and her head snapped up to look at Applejack. "Are you seriously telling me that she--?"
Applejack grimly nodded. "Ah'm 'fraid so."
Twilight put a hoof to her mouth and turned a little green. "But... but how can she do something like that?! The vet back in Canterlot had..." Twilight spun her hoof. "Well, she seemed a little more... capable of doing what she had to do." Twilight looked back in the direction of the cottage. "You're seriously expecting me to believe that Fluttershy of all ponies has it in her to do that kind of thing?!"
Applejack chuckled weakly and rubbed her forehead under her hat. "Ah guess so. Ah've never asked her 'bout any of the details, and Ah'd rather not say how Ah know that she does it, but there ya go."
"But how does she..." Twilight bit her lip for a moment as she thought of the word. "Deal with that? I mean, she's one of the kindest and meekest ponies I've ever met." Twilight shakily raised a hoof and put it on Applejack's shoulder. "You're seriously expecting me to believe that the mare who was too shy to even look me in the eye occasionally euthanizes the animals under her care?"
Applejack sighed, but slowly nodded. "Yeah, Twi, Ah do." Applejack locked eyes with Twilight. "Ah know it can be hard to believe once you've met her, but it's just somethin' that she feels has ta be done."
"I'm not arguing that, AJ," Twilight insisted. She flattened her ears. "I've known ponies who have had to put down their beloved pets because they're old or suffering. I'm just more wondering how somepony like her can handle it mentally, you know what I mean?"
"Yeah, Ah do." Applejack clicked her tongue and began kicking at the edge of the bench. "Ah've kinda always wanted ta ask her how she does it, but like Ah said: it ain't exactly polite ta talk about. Plus, Ah never really knew her that well before the Elements of Harmony thing."
Twilight turned her head and stared in the direction of Fluttershy's house. If she squinted, she could see the outline of the place just over the hill closest to them. "It's strange, thinking that not only had she done that, but she does it a lot."
"Twi, Ah know that Ah ain't exactly the most perceptive of ponies sometimes, but Ah wouldn't go talk to her today if Ah was you," said Applejack. Twilight turned her head back to Applejack and saw that she had a slight frown on her face. "She's really hurtin', Twi. It wouldn't be the best time ta talk ta her 'bout it all. Leave her be today, ya hear?"
Twilight studied Applejack's face for a moment, but slowly nodded her head. "Yeah..." Her gaze flickered back over to the cottage for the briefest of moments. "Yeah, I guess it wouldn't be the best idea to talk to her about it today."
Applejack's frown hardened into a slight glare. "Or any day, Twilight. Like Ah said, it ain't polite ta talk about, and it would be especially tasteless to talk to her about it."
Twilight slowly nodded and shook her head. "Yeah, you're right." She gave Applejack a small smile. "Sorry, I was just curious is all."
Applejack returned her smile and patted her shoulder. "Aw, it ain't nothin, Twi. Ah know it's somethin' that y'all would be curious about. Ah was too when Ah first heard." Applejack's smile disappeared. "But stay out of it. Trust me on this one."
* * * *
The next morning found Twilight slowly walking up the path to Fluttershy's house. Despite Applejack's warnings, she couldn't help but wonder how a pony so kind could do something so soul crushingly terrible. Of course it needed to be done. If an animal was suffering and it was between that and letting them slip away peacefully, the choice was obvious.
But Fluttershy?
Twilight was just about to reach Fluttershy's front door when it opened up revealing the pegasus in question. To Twilight's utter surprise, she was smiling like nothing bad had happened the day before. She had a bag of birdseed perched on her back, and her bunny was contentedly hopping behind her.
Twilight's jaw dropped open slightly, and she took a slight step back. Knowing what Fluttershy had done yesterday made this scene a little disturbing. It was as if she didn't even remember.
Of course Twilight couldn't stand there for long without Fluttershy realizing she was there. She had only taken a few steps outside of her cottage before she saw Twilight standing just past the bridge to her house. She flashed Twilight a smile and trotted up to her. "Good morning, Twilight."
"Uh..." Twilight blinked three times, but managed to regain enough brain power to respond. "H-hello, Fluttershy. You seem..." She cleared her throat as she tried to think of the right word. "Better today."
Fluttershy's small smile faltered, and her eyes flickered over to the edge of the Everfree Forest. Angel, for his part, had also stopped smiling, and had fixed Twilight with a heavy glare that was surprisingly unsettling coming from a creature as small as he was. Sensing that she had stepped over a line, Twilight flattened her ears. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that to be tactless."
Fluttershy softly sighed and slid the bag of birdseed off of her back. "I guess you want to talk about it."
Twilight bit her lip. "Uh... I w-wouldn't want--"
Fluttershy gently held up a hoof. "It's okay, Twilight. I know a pony like you would be curious." Fluttershy retreated into her mane, and she began subtly pawing at the ground. Her voice dropped to just below a whisper. "Let's just not talk about it too long, okay?"
Twilight raised her hoof as if to take a step forward, but held back. On one hoof, there was the drive inside of her to learn about this less savory part of her new friend. On the other... this was a less than savory part of her new friend, and one that clearly disturbed her on top of that. To add to the cons, Fluttershy had just had to deal with this the day before. Even if she should ask her, now would be the wrong time.
Twilight deeply exhaled and shook her head. "You know, Fluttershy, I can't deny that I'm not curious, but..." She ran a hoof through her mane. "Now isn't the right time, I think. It was tactless of me to come at all."
Fluttershy's head gently poked through her mane, and she fixed Twilight with a one-eyed stare. "Oh. Okay." Her visible eye twitched over to the Everfree Forest again. "Whatever you want, I guess."
Twilight forced a smile on her face and motioned over to the bag of birdseed. "It looks like you're gonna feed some birds, right? Do you mind if I help?"
It was like a switch had been turned on. Fluttershy came out of her mane completely, and she was positively beaming. "Oh, that would be wonderful!" She picked up the bag of birdseed again and placed it back on her back. "You can meet some more of my animal friends!"
Twilight's smile flashed with a hint of genuineness as Fluttershy beckoned her towards her chicken friends. Seeing her friend happier made it so that she couldn't help but be a little happy herself.
Still, there was the curious aspect of Fluttershy continuously glancing towards the Everfree Forest.
* * * *
Evening had fallen over Equestria by the time Twilight had said goodbye to Fluttershy for the day. in truth, she had quite enjoyed getting to know Fluttershy a little better, and feeding some of her animals wasn't too taxing. Even Angel Bunny hadn't been too obnoxious.
However, as Twilight had walked home, something stuck out in the back of her mind. Every now and again, particularly when Twilight had come to talk to her about what had happened the day before, Fluttershy would glance at the Everfree Forest. It was well known that she was scared of the place, most of the residents were, but the look behind Fluttershy's eyes when she stared into its depths was not one of fear, but of heartbreak. Given the events of the previous day, that was intriguing to Twilight.
Twilight took a sharp left turn and began trotting back towards Fluttershy's cottage. The knowledge that her friend was capable of doing something like that was unsettling to her, and part of her said that she needed to see it to believe it. There were answers in the Everfree Forest.
She reached the edge of the forest in just under five minutes, and walked inside with only a brief moment's hesitation. The bright rays from the evening sun were diluted by the thick overhanging branches of the towering trees above her. Knowing Fluttershy as she did, she doubted that she would be able to go far into the forest. It was too dangerous at any rate.
Twilight's assumptions proved correct, and she soon found herself in a small clearing. There were no branches filtering the sunlight. The tall trees had been pruned so that the whole clearing was illuminated. What Twilight saw made her gasp and almost run out of the forest.
Small mounds of dirt covering obvious graves, each with a small stone with a crude drawing of an animal on them. Some of the stones had names, but on the whole the only identifying mark was the crude picture of whatever animal was buried under the mounds of dirt. To complete Twilight's horror, there were dozens of them. A small, quick count gave her the estimate of at least somewhere in the high seventies, with space for plenty more.
Despite herself, she choked back bile that tried to force itself up her throat. Forcing herself to tear her eyes away from the mass grave in front of her, she turned tail and ran out of the forest.
Twilight sniffled and wiped her eyes, not daring to meet the piercing glare that Applejack was giving her. "I was just... curious."
"Yeah, well, look where yer curiosity got you, Twilight." Applejack scoffed and crossed her forelegs. "Ah told ya that it wasn't a polite thing ta talk about, and you ignored me. Ah'm the Element of Honesty, Twilight. Did ya think that Ah wasn't bein' truthful? That Ah was doin' it just fer grins and giggles?"
Twilight folded her ears against her head. "N-no. I know you weren't. I just... didn't think it would be like that."
Applejack glared at Twilight for a few seconds more before she let out a deep breath and slumped her shoulders. "Ah know," she muttered. "Ah can't imagine what it musta looked like. Seein' that kinda thing and knowin' Fluttershy did it musta been real hard ta think about. Just know that she's not a bad pony, Twi." Applejack smiled and put a hoof on Twilight's shoulder. "Ah know that this seems real bad, and it ain't exactly pleasant, but she's a good pony, Twi. She's only doin' it because she don't have any other choice. If she could save 'em she would. You know that."
Twilight subtly nodded and wiped her eyes again. "I know. She's the Element of Kindness. It wouldn't have chosen her if she wasn't a truly kind pony. I don't want this to change how I look at her, but I'm scared that it will."
"'Course it will, Twilight," Applejack said simply. "You find out somethin' like this and it'll always change some things. You just hafta remember why she does it and how she'd never actually hurt anythin' unless she felt that she had no other choice. She ain't hurtin' em, Twi."
"I know," Twilight muttered. "I wish that I could take it back; seeing the graveyard, I mean."
"Ah know ya do." Applejack put a hoof on Twilight's shoulder. "Yer not a bad pony, or anythin' like that, you just did a dumb thing."
Twilight leaned her head against one of the apple trees. "I guess it wasn't the smartest thing I could have done." She managed a small smile. "I mean, Fluttershy isn't a bad pony, after all. She just... has to do it."
Twilight closed her eyes, but opened them again when a vision of the graveyard flashed through her mind. She violently shook her head to remove such thoughts from her brain and took a deep breath. "I guess I should get some work done." Twilight stood up. "You should have seen the mess the old librarian made. I swear, she didn't understand how to shelve books at all!"
Applejack chuckled upon hearing some of the old spark that she liked about Twilight return to her voice. She stood up with her and walked her to the edge of her farm. "Y'all have fun with that." As they reached the gate, Applejack stopped Twilight and put a hoof on her shoulder. "Ah know it musta been hard ta see that, but Fluttershy is a good pony. Sure it affects her, but she deals with it in a healthy way, Ah reckon."
Twilight frowned and cocked her head. "I know I might not want to ask, but how does she deal with it?"
Applejack's small smile faded, and was replaced with an equally small frown. "Ya know, Ah haven't actually asked her 'bout it. Ah never really wanted to Ah guess." Applejack shook her head and her smile returned. "Ya know what? Ah think that since she's become friends with alla us, she's goin' ta be just fine."
Twilight returned Applejack's smile. "I think you're right, AJ."
* * * *
The next week saw the six friends plus Spike all enjoying a picnic lunch in the park near Twilight's library home. Applejack and Rainbow Dash were laughing about some stunt that Rainbow Dash had pulled that had caused her to crash into a tree a few days back while Pinkie Pie and Rarity were chatting about some of the latest gossip. Given that Pinkie Pie worked at one of the most popular establishments in town, she had quite a lot of it to choose from, and Rarity listened with an eager ear. Twilight was talking to Fluttershy, who had brought Angel along with her and was trying to get him to eat a salad she had packed.
"Now Angel Bunny, eat your lunch." Fluttershy pushed a bowl of lettuce and cucumbers in front of the bunny. "You wouldn't want to get hungry, would you?"
Angel stuck his nose into the air and crossed his arms. Twilight was quite certain that he would have made a 'harrumph' type sound were he capable of such things. Twilight chuckled and laid down next to Fluttershy. "He's quite the critter, isn't he?"
Fluttershy smiled in return and pushed the bowl back to Angel again. "He's a good bunny, Twilight. He's just... spirited. He'll eat soon."
Twilight raised an eyebrow. "I hope so. It wouldn't be healthy for him to just not eat anything."
Fluttershy moved the bowl to avoid Angel's attempt to kick it away. She moved it back and nudged his leg with it. "It might be because he's not very hungry right now."
Twilight rolled her eyes, fully aware that Fluttershy's charge was just being stubborn for the sake of it. She shook her head and laid down on the grass next to Angel. She lifted the bowl of greens with her magic, and smiled fondly at Fluttershy. "Here, let me try." Fluttershy gave an affirming nod, and Twilight poked Angel on the nose with the bowl. "Come on, Angel, don't you want to eat?"
Angel gave Twilight a death glare, and kicked the bowl, sending its contents flying. Twilight caught it with her magic before any of it could hit the ground, and put it all back in the bowl. Angel Bunny had decided that he had had quite enough of this, and began hopping in the direction of Fluttershy's house, which could be seen in the distance. Fluttershy squeaked and flew beside him, pleading for him to behave, but Angel kept on hopping away.
The rest of the group watched them go, letting out a collective frustrated sigh.
"Ah swear, it's just plain bad luck that Fluttershy got the one animal in the entire universe that doesn't love her," Applejack grumbled.
Twilight flattened her ears and stood up as Fluttershy's pleading faded into the distance. "Uh, shouldn't we go help her or something?"
Rarity shrugged and laid back down on her couch. "And do what exactly? They're just going back to her house. Besides, Fluttershy is the only one who could get that beastly rabbit to behave, even if it takes her a week’s worth of pleading to do it. She'll probably just drop him off at her cottage and come right back. It wouldn't be the first time this has happened." A scowl crossed Rarity's face. "Though I must agree with Applejack: that rabbit is one of the worst creatures I have ever had the displeasure of coming into contact with."
All of a sudden, an ear-splitting shriek pierced the once tranquil air, and all five ponies shot to their hooves. "That sounded like Fluttershy!" Applejack cried.
"Spike, go get help!" said Twilight. "I'll go with them!"
Spike nodded and the five ponies bolted in the direction of Fluttershy's house. Rainbow Dash flew ahead, leaving a rainbow contrail behind her. Within a few seconds, they heard Rainbow Dash yelling something unintelligible to Fluttershy, who was still screaming. The four ponies reached Fluttershy's cottage, and gasped when they saw the sight in front of them.
Angel was lying on the ground in a pool of his own blood as a pair of timberwolves were circling around him and Fluttershy. Rainbow Dash was flying above them, dive bombing the wolves and slamming her hooves into whichever part of them that she could reach. She had a deep cut on her right shoulder from the claws of one of the wolves.
Without thinking, the rest of the group dove into the battle. Twilight grabbed a branch off of a nearby tree and slammed it into the head of the timberwolf closest to Fluttershy. Rarity followed suit and smashed her branch into one of the timberwolf's legs. The force of the blow snapped it off, allowing Twilight's rapid attacks to reduce the wolf to a pile of sticks. Pinkie, Rainbow, and Applejack dealt with the other wolf. Pinkie Pie used her speed to draw the wolf's attacks to her while remaining safe herself. Applejack leaped onto the back of the wolf and slipped her lasso around its neck, allowing Rainbow Dash to slam her hind hooves into the head of the monster. A few more blows reduced it to rubble.
The battle won, the fighters sat on the ground to catch their breath. Applejack looked over at Rainbow Dash's shoulder, and reached out her hoof as if to touch it. "You okay, sugar cube? It looks deep."
Rainbow shrugged and waved Applejack's hoof away. "I'm fine. I'll see Readheart about it later. No big deal."
"Oh no, Fluttershy." Twilight stared at her friend as she cradled her pet in her forelegs. Angel was shaking weakly, and looking up at Fluttershy as if pleading with her to fix everything. Twilight scooted over to her friend and put a hoof on her shoulder. "F-Fluttershy?"
"They came out of the forest," Fluttershy whispered. "I came after Angel Bunny. They were going after my chickens when we came. Th-they do that sometimes. When they saw Angel, they came after him. I stopped them with The Stare, b-but they had already had him." Tears began streaking down Fluttershy's face as she gently stroked Angel. His blood was staining her fur, and his twitches were becoming steadily weaker.
"Can you fix him?" asked Applejack as she walked up to the two of them.
Fluttershy stared down at her bunny for a few seconds before slowly shaking her head. Her voice came out as a quiet squeak when she spoke next. "I-it's a day to cry, Applejack."
Applejack and Twilight gasped while Pinkie and Rarity immediately burst into tears. Rainbow Dash hugged Pinkie with her wings, her eyes streaked with tears as well. Fluttershy slowly took off and hovered a few hooves into the air, gently flying towards her house.
Twilight wiped her tears away with a foreleg as she stared at Fluttershy until the latter flew into her house.
* * * *
Fluttershy's house was dead silent as she laid Angel onto the table. It was time to bring out her box again. She patted Angel on the head and gave him her best attempt at a comforting smile. "I-it's okay, Angel. Mommy's going to make you all better now."
Angel squeaked and extended one of his paws. Fluttershy patted him on the head and flew into her kitchen, for the box was there. The wonderful, horrible, healing box. Part of her hoped that this time it wouldn't be there, that she was wrong and that she could fix Angel, but there it was. Right where she had left it. She reached into her pantry and pulled it out. It was as full as it ever was. She prepared a small cup of tea and put one drop of the contents of the box inside. It would be quick.
She put the box back inside her pantry and covered it up. Maybe if she covered it, it would cease to exist.
No. That would be bad. She needed the box.
She flew back over to Angel, the small cup balanced on one of her hooves. Angel saw her coming and stared at the teacup. He squealed again and held out his paws as if hoping that they would cease Fluttershy's advances and he would be fixed.
Fluttershy landed next to him and extended the teacup. "C-come on, Angel. I promise that this will make you feel better. It'll be good for you." She nudged the teacup against Angel's mouth. "J-just drink it. It'll make you feel better, I promise."
Angel tried to move away from Fluttershy, but he was losing too much blood. He squeaked again and squeezed his eyes shut.
"Angel please!" Fluttershy bumped his mouth with the teacup again. "P-please, Angel! I promise that it will make you feel better! Please just do this for me!"
With one last burst of strength, Angel knocked the teacup away. It shattered on the floor, spilling the contents everywhere. Fluttershy let out a wail of agony and tried to scoop up the tea again.
She couldn't do it. She couldn't go back to the box for Angel. She scooped the broken porcelain into a small pile, and stood up to go find a broom. She smiled at Angel and patted his head. "Just stay here, Angel Bunny. Mommy's going to..."
Fluttershy's eyes widened when she saw that Angel wasn't moving. His eyes were glazed over, but they still had the pleading look in them. Fluttershy slowly gasped and nudged her pet.
"A-Angel? Angel?" Fluttershy nudged him again, but he remained still. "Angel please! Please don't... I-I was going to make it better! I was g-going to make it so that you didn't hurt so bad! P-please d-don't..."
Fluttershy's screams echoed throughout her cottage as she mourned her dead little angel.
"Fluttershy?" Twilight slowly pushed the door of Fluttershy's cottage open and quietly stepped inside. She glanced back at the rest of her friends, who were standing uneasily on the bridge next to Fluttershy's house. She took a deep breath and turned her head back to look into the house. Fluttershy was there, sitting on her haunches next to the table where the unmoving body of Angel Bunny lay. The table was stained with Angel's blood, and occasionally drops would drip onto the floor in front of Fluttershy. "Oh Fluttershy," Twilight whispered. She walked over to Fluttershy and sat next to her, putting a hoof over her shoulders. "I'm so sorry."
"He... he's gone, Twilight." Fluttershy let out a whimper and blinked once. "He... he didn't understand."
"You did what you had to do, Fluttershy." Twilight gently nuzzled Fluttershy's cheek. "I know it's hard, but... he didn't suffer too bad, right?"
Fluttershy slowly raised her head and looked up to the table where Angel's body lay and slowly shook her head. "No. He didn't take it. I... I tried to give it to him, but he just pushed it away." Fluttershy's ear twitched. "He was in a lot of pain when he died. He didn't take it. He didn't understand." Fluttershy looked over to where a broken teacup lay on the floor. The spilled tea was beginning to spread, and Twilight grimaced when she saw it begin to mix with the blood.
"All of the other animals have understood," Fluttershy muttered, ignoring the tea. "They knew that I was helping them. They knew that what I was doing was a good thing. Angel..." Fluttershy's ear twitched again, and she leaned her head on Twilight's shoulder. "He looked like... like I was betraying him. Why did he look like that, Twilight?"
"I..." Twilight's gaze flickered up to the table. "I don't know, Fluttershy. I don't know what Angel thought. I do know that he loved you very much and didn't want to hurt you, and knew that you didn't want to hurt him."
Fluttershy snapped her head up, and pushed herself to her hooves. "Then why didn't he let me help him?!" Fluttershy slammed her hoof on the ground, shattering one of the larger pieces of the teacup. "Why didn't he choose to die in so much pain?!"
Twilight flattened her ears and slowly got to her hooves. "Fluttershy, I don't--"
"I thought he trusted me!" Fluttershy let out a sob and scooped up Angel's body in one of her wings. "I thought you trusted that Momma knew what was best for you, Angel Bunny!" Fluttershy began quietly sobbing, and her ears slowly drooped. "Why didn't you trust me? I th-thought that you knew that I cared about you, and I that I would never hurt you."
"Fluttershy..." Twilight put a gentle hoof on her shoulder. "I think he did know that. I just think that he was scared. He loved you, Fluttershy. Yes, he was stubborn, but I don't think he ever wanted to intentionally hurt you."
Fluttershy sniffled and gently brushed Angel's ears. "But... I don't know why he wouldn't let me help him. H-he's let me help him lots of times before. He's never stopped me from helping him."
"I know," said Twilight softly. "I guess he was just scared."
"Of what?" Fluttershy mewled. "I was just trying to make him feel better!" Fluttershy gently nuzzled into Twilight's shoulder, allowing Twilight to gently wrap her forelegs around her friend.
The door to her cottage opened, and their other four friends filed in, their ears flattened against their heads. None of them said anything as they watched Fluttershy cry into Twilight's shoulder. There was nothing to be said.
* * * *
"Fluttershy, darling, I know you're in there! Please talk to me!"
Rarity stood in front of the door to Fluttershy's cottage, a grimace on her face and the look of sheer will that she usually had when she wanted something. When there was no response, Rarity banged on the cottage door once more.
"Fluttershy, if you don't come out then I'm coming in and dragging you out! The others are really worried about you!" Rarity raised her hoof again when there was no response. "You can't stay in there forever! Angel wouldn't want you to be like this!"
After a few more seconds of silence, Rarity swung her hoof down to knock again, but paused just before her hoof hit the door when she heard the faint sounds of hoofsteps on the other side. She allowed herself a small smile and put her hoof down as Fluttershy cracked the door open.
"Rarity, I'm s-sorry, but I still need some time alone." The door closed a half inch. "I'll come out soon, okay?"
"Fluttershy..." Rarity sighed and rubbed one of her temples. "You've been saying that for the past month, and I'm done believing you! You need to come out for more than just food and basic conversation with the five of us! You need to begin interacting again, darling. If nothing else I want to see you outside again!"
Fluttershy blinked once and cracked the door open again another inch until Rarity could see half of her face. "I... I don't know, Rarity. All of you girls were there when Angel..." Fluttershy began blinking rapidly, but she took a deep breath to center herself. "A-and I can't think of you girls without remembering that day!"
"Well that's because you haven't created any new memories of us, Fluttershy. If you get out and go to a Pinkie party or see Rainbow Dash performing, or join us all in a sleepover, then the last memory that you have of us won't be of that day!" Rarity pursed her lips and tapped her hoof on the ground. "And that is precisely why I am here. I know that you are grieving, and all of us respect that, but I for one believe that it is time for some tough love. I will not get off of this porch until you come out. I have an overnight trip to Canterlot tomorrow, and I would love it if you joined me for that."
"Canterlot?" Fluttershy squeaked. "Oh... I don't know if I could--"
"You would see the sights, you would eat fine meals at good restaurants! You would get out of your house for a few days and see the sun! You would feel the sun wash over you as you took strolls down the sidewalk!" Rarity put her hoof on Fluttershy's door. "Doesn't that interest you at all? Don't you want to go out and stretch your legs for more than just trips to the market?"
"Well..."
"Fluttershy, I will say this again: I am not leaving until you agree to come out. If you really don't want to go to Canterlot with me, though I would like you to join me, then you and I will find something else to do together. Maybe a spa trip or a show of some sort, but you will not be shacked up inside your house anymore." Rarity began pressing on the door, opening it a little further. "It has been a month, and we are all really worried about you! I was speaking with Rainbow Dash, and she expressed that she would like to do the same thing to you, so if you get rid of me, then you will have Rainbow Dash bucking your door down and dragging you out to spend some time with you."
Fluttershy squeaked and flattened her ears, but didn't shut the door. Rarity fixed her gaze on her friend, not looking away as the gears turned in Fluttershy's head. Rarity knew without a doubt that she was trying her best to figure out some way out of it, but Rarity would not budge. Finally Fluttershy took a deep, quiet breath.
"Okay, Rarity. I'll come to Canterlot with you if you really want me to."
Rarity smiled at Fluttershy and took her hoof off of the door. "I'm very glad to hear that, Fluttershy. I will pick you up at nine tomorrow for the ten 'o clock train to Canterlot. In the meantime, is there anything that you would like to do today?"
Fluttershy glanced down at the floor, and Rarity's smile fell with a groan. "Something outside and in the company of other ponies, Fluttershy."
"Oh... uh..." Fluttershy's gaze flicked up to Rarity. "The spa, maybe? I-if you want to."
Rarity's smile returned full force, and she nodded. "Yes, I think that sounds lovely. Come out of there and we'll go to the spa. My treat, of course."
* * * *
The day passed by as well as Rarity could have hoped, and she could tell that even the half day that Fluttershy spent outside of her cottage did her good. At first she was reserved, merely nodding along to whatever Rarity said while at the spa, but by the time they reached the mud baths, Fluttershy was starting to initiate conversation topics of her own, something that did not escape Rarity's notice. By the time she walked Fluttershy back to her home, her friend even managed a smile.
Rarity smiled as she trotted over to Fluttershy's cottage to take her to Canterlot. She carried two suitcases behind her, most of her other luggage already being loaded onto the train where she had dropped it off before coming to pick up Fluttershy. As she approached Fluttershy's house, she was delighted to see that Fluttershy was already up and standing outside of her door next to a small suitcase emblazoned with her cutie mark. Rarity reached her friend and the two exchanged a hug.
"Well, I'm glad to see that you're all ready, Fluttershy." Rarity ignited her horn and lifted Fluttershy's bag into the air, putting it next to hers. "Are you all ready, then?"
Fluttershy gave Rarity a small smile and nodded. "Yes, I'm ready to go. I packed last night after we said goodbye."
"I'm glad to hear it," Rarity said as they began walking towards the train station. "You're feeling better since yesterday morning, then?"
"Yes, I think that I am. The spa was really nice, and what I had for lunch and dinner is better than what I have been eating recently, so..." Fluttershy gave a wing shrug. "I had a better day than I've had in a long while."
"Well I am elated to hear that," Rarity said as the two approached the train station. "You will have an equally good time in Canterlot, Fluttershy, if not better. I will see to that."
"Well I'm sure it'll be fun then, Rarity." Fluttershy and Rarity began maneuvering through the small crowd that had appeared. "You always know the best things to do around Canterlot."
"Well, I'd wager that I am not as good at that as Twilight might be, what with her having grown up there and all." Rarity opened up her purse and flashed two tickets to the conductor, who nodded and motioned to the train door. "But still, I do know a few good spots around the city for us to go to once I've finished my work."
The two took their seats, and shot the wind for a little while until the train began moving towards Canterlot, at which point they began discussing what they wanted to do for the day. Rarity had an order of dresses to deliver, followed by a fashion conference the day after, so she had more free time for the first day than the second, though she still had work to do.
The ride was uneventful, and Rarity began to feel that maybe things would start to become better with Fluttershy. In the back of her mind she already began planning things for the six of them to do to re-integrate Fluttershy into their social circle a little more. She was already looking much better than the previous day. Much less gaunt and depressed. Yes, things would work out. They somehow always did.
* * * *
"Well, I'd say that went rather well, Fluttershy, don't you?"
Fluttershy smiled and nodded as she finished a bite of the salad she was eating. "Yes, I think she liked you, Rarity. You always make the best dresses."
"Yes, well, I'd say that getting four more orders does constitute her liking me." Rarity giggled as she took a sip of wine. "I hope that the fashion meet tomorrow goes just as well. If it does then I'm set on orders for quite a while, I think."
"I'm so happy for you, Rarity." Fluttershy gently patted her friend's hoof. "I'm glad everything is going so well."
"And I'm glad that you're improving, Fluttershy. You seem to be enjoying yourself too."
Fluttershy nodded and drained her cup of orange juice. "Yes, I think I am. You were right, Rarity, I did need to get out of my house." Fluttershy's small smile fell, and she flattened her ears. "I... I still wish Angel Bunny was here, but you were right about that too: he wouldn't want me to stop being me because of him."
"I think you're right, darling." Rarity finished her food and pushed her plate aside. "You really are looking a lot better than when I saw you yesterday."
Just as Fluttershy was about to respond, her words were cut off by the sound of loud, wheezing coughing coming from behind Rarity. Rarity frowned and looked behind her. "Goodness. Something went down the wrong pipe."
Fluttershy leaned to the left to look behind Rarity, and saw an elderly stallion on oxygen sitting next to a younger mare who was presumably family. She frowned and tilted her head just as the stallion gave a single groan and collapsed onto the floor. The mare shrieked and shot to her hooves, running over to him and shouting for help. Rarity got to her own hooves and rushed over to the mare, but Fluttershy stayed where she sat, her head still tilted.
The stallion did not look good. He looked quite sickly, and when that was combined with his age, that doubtlessly made for some miserable days. Fluttershy's mouth curved down in a subtle frown as Rarity rushed out of the restaurant to presumably call some paramedic ponies while a few more ponies gathered around the unconscious stallion.
"Hmm..." Fluttershy blinked once as the first traces of a thought began creeping into her head. The elderly stallion was obviously suffering, a blind pony could see that, and why should he have to suffer? Why should he have to go every day like that? Especially when it would be so easy to...
Fluttershy blinked again and looked down at her half-eaten food. "Ponies," she muttered. "Ponies? Could I..." Fluttershy picked up her fork and poked at the croutons as the ghost of the thought began taking more shape. It would be simple, she thought. What was in her box would certainly work on more than just animals. It was potent enough to painlessly kill anything. She, like most ponies, believed in some life after death, and doubtlessly this stallion would prefer whatever paradise supposedly awaited good ponies to what he was living now.
Fluttershy slowly blinked again as her train of thought went back to the box she had in her cupboard. She couldn't feasibly bring it here, but the ingredients that made it up were readily available at any corner drug store.
After a few minutes, two paramedics burst into the restaurant, levitating a stretcher between the two of them, followed closely by Rarity, who moved back over to their table. She glanced over at Fluttershy as the paramedics loaded the pony onto the stretcher. When they began moving out, Rarity took a deep breath and sat back down at the table, her ears flat.
"I'm sorry that you had to see all of that, Fluttershy. Given the circumstances, I doubt that it was the best thing to happen."
Fluttershy took a quiet breath and gave a wing shrug. "I-it's okay, Rarity. You didn't know that it would happen." Fluttershy's eyes flicked up to Rarity. "Is he going to be okay?"
Rarity gave a shrug of her own. "I can't say with any certainty, but I believe that he will recover. His daughter told me that he's been having heart issues lately, but if they can get him to the hospital fast enough he should make a recovery."
"Is the hospital close?"
Rarity nodded and took another sip of her wine to calm her nerves. "Yes, it's just two blocks away from here, actually. He's lucky that it was, or else they might not have gotten here in time to do much good." Rarity sighed and motioned to the waiter for another glass of wine. "Well, I hope his health improves, though given the state of him I unfortunately rather doubt it. He may survive this time, but his days are numbered. Pity, really."
"Yeah." Fluttershy looked out the nearby window in the direction of the hospital. "Pity."
* * * *
Fluttershy opened her eyes and popped her head off of the pillow. She shifted in bed until she could see behind her, where Rarity was sleeping peacefully on the bed next to her. She would be out for a while.
Nodding to herself, Fluttershy quietly slid out of her bed and took a small purse out of her nearby open suitcase. She did a quick count to make sure that there were enough bits to buy everything that she needed, and when she saw that there were, she put the purse around her neck and noiselessly walked out the door to the hotel room.
From the hotel it was a short walk to a nearby drugstore, which was thankfully open twenty four hours. The bell above the doorway chimed as Fluttershy walked into it, alerting the pegasus mare behind the counter. She smiled at Fluttershy and straightened up.
"Hello, miss. What can I get for you tonight?"
Fluttershy wordlessly opened up the purse and took a slip of paper out of it which she hoofed over to the mare. The mare took it and scanned it for a brief moment before nodding. "Yep, we have all of this here." Fluttershy gave the mare a small, brief smile before the mare went about collecting everything that Fluttershy needed. When everything was gathered, the mare put the ingredients in a paper bag and counted up the cost.
"Alright, that'll be thirty bits."
Fluttershy nodded and took two twenty bit coins out of her purse, which she gave to the mare. "Keep the change," she whispered as she took the bag off of the counter.
"Oh..." The mare blinked once. "Uh... thanks, miss. You have a good night, okay?"
Fluttershy nodded and walked out of the store before spreading her wings and flying to a nearby rooftop. She settled down and took everything out of the bag. Yes, there was more than enough to help the sick stallion feel better. She opened up the boxes and took out two of the pills from each. She took an envelope out of her purse and began gently breaking open the capsules and pouring the contents into the envelope. When she was finished, she closed the envelope and gently gave it a few shakes to make sure that it mixed properly.
It was crude, but it would do the job correctly. The stallion would find peace very soon.
Fluttershy put the envelope in her teeth and put all of the pills inside one box, which she put inside her purse. With that, she spread her wings and flew in the direction of the hospital.
As Fluttershy approached the hospital, she began to realize that she didn't know how she was going to get into the stallion's room. She wasn't family, visiting hours were over, and she didn't even know where he was. She didn't even know his name, so she couldn't figure out his room number that way. Fluttershy bit her lip as she reached the hospital. If she couldn't find him then she couldn't help him, and he would continue to suffer a slow, painful life until he died.
Just like Angel Bunny had.
Fluttershy shook her head and began flying around the hospital, looking through each window. No creature would ever suffer like Angel had. No creature deserved to have that happen to them. She resolved to find him to help him if it was the last thing that she did. She would make him feel better. She would help him. He deserved to feel better.
And then he was there.
Fluttershy peeked through one of the few windows not covered by curtains, and was almost to the next window over before she realized that she had spotted him. She flew backwards and looked through the window again. The stallion was sleeping in a bed, an IV in his foreleg and an oxygen mask over his muzzle. A small smile crossed her face, and she began examining the window to see if there was a way in from the outside short of breaking it.
Upon examination, Fluttershy saw that the window opened inwards from the inside, and it was closed by a small latch that connected the two halves of the window. She opened up her purse and took out an invitation to a Pinkie Pie party. It was thin enough to slip through the crack between the two halves of the window, but sturdy enough to lift the latch. Fluttershy gently slid the invitation through the crack, grateful that it was barely thin enough to slide through, and pulled up to undo the latch. At first the latch didn't budge, but Fluttershy merely pushed up harder. She would help this stallion. She had to help him. He was suffering.
With one final pull, the latch popped up, allowing Fluttershy to gently push the window open and fly inside the room. Landing, she saw a small plastic cup filled with water on a nightstand next to the bed.
Perfect.
Fluttershy took the envelope out of her mouth and opened it up before gently sliding the contents into the cup. The powder sank to the bottom of the cup, but after a few moments it completely dissolved, only leaving the water a touch murkier than it had been before. Fluttershy smiled and put the envelope back in her purse before walking over to the bed and gently poking the stallion.
"Sir? Sir, can you wake up, please? It's time to take your medicine."
The stallion lightly groaned, but his eyes fluttered open, landing on a smiling Fluttershy. He returned her smile and slowly pushed his oxygen mask off.
"Medicine, eh? Well, anything to help me, I suppose."
Fluttershy nodded and picked the cup up in the crook of her foreleg. "Yes, this will make you feel a lot better. I think it'll help cure you."
The stallion chuckled, the sound reminding Fluttershy of gravel being mixed. "Well, you must be new here, miss. The damned doctors around here don't know nothing, if you'll pardon me for saying so. Keep changing their guesses as to what's wrong with me."
Fluttershy gently chuckled and extended her foreleg. "Well, I think I do know what's wrong, and I think this will really help."
"If you say so," The stallion muttered. "If you do know what's wrong you'd be the first in a while." The stallion scoffed and took the cup from Fluttershy. "Been in too many of these."
Fluttershy subtly nodded and turned her head back to the window as the stallion took a small sip of water. "You kept your curtains open."
The stallion smiled and put the cup down. "Yes, I've always loved looking at the moon shining over all of Equestria. I opened the window a few times to feel the air but my darned nurses keep closing it. I've kept the curtains open in my room for the past fifty years, and I'll keep them open to see the moon until the day I die. It's odd not seeing the Mare in the Moon anymore obviously, but now she's... unblemished, if you will. She's beautiful."
"Yes," Fluttershy whispered. "Yes she is." She turned her head back and nudged the cup of water. "You go ahead and finish that. It'll do wonders for you, I promise."
"Yeah, yeah, I'll get drinking." The stallion picked up the cup and took another sip. "Doctors here keep giving me new stuff, so I'll be surprised if whatever this is actually does it." The stallion shrugged and drained the cup completely. "There. I've drunk it. How long until I start feeling better, huh?"
Fluttershy closed her eyes and flattened her ears. "Seconds."
"Seconds?" The stallion scoffed. "This must... be a... good..." The stallion took a deep breath, and Fluttershy cracked one eye open to see that his eyes were drooping. "Tired all of a sudden," The stallion muttered. "Don't... know if I can..."
Then he was still.
Fluttershy fully opened her eyes as two tears streaked down her face. She allowed herself a small smile as she walked up to the stallion and kissed his forehead.
"You're welcome," she said softly. "I'm glad you're feeling better."
Her work done, Fluttershy took wing and flew out the way she came.
Fluttershy gently closed the door to her hotel room and deposited her purse back in her suitcase, right where it had been when she left. She glanced up at Rarity, who was still lightly snoring, her sleep mask still placed firmly over her eyes. Fluttershy gave a small smile and slid into her bed, her body suddenly tired from the excitement of that night.
She had freed him. He was safe and happy now, without any heart problems or sicknesses. He could be young and happy in paradise. He would probably still be able to see his moon. She snuggled into her pillow, and her smile widened when she thought about how much of a gift it was she had given to him. She would have to tell Rarity all about it in the morning.
Fluttershy opened one eye, and a slight frown creased her face. Rarity hadn't taken it very well when she ha first learned how Fluttershy freed her sick animals, but she did come to accept it as part of her job. If Fluttershy told her that she had moved up to ponies...
She shook her head. Rarity didn't need to know. After all, it wasn't as if they knew the stallion. It would put a damper on their trip. Besides, she might be like Twilight. She wouldn't understand why what she had done was a good thing. Most ponies wouldn't, she realized as she watched Rarity's sleeping form. They'd see her as a... murderer. Fluttershy whimpered quietly and pulled the covers over her head, her breathing intensifying. No, she wasn't that. There was no way that she could be that. She had done a good thing, and murder was an evil thing. Ergo, what she had done was not murder.
Fluttershy's breathing relaxed, and she poked her head out from under the covers. Yes, that was right: she had done a good thing, so it couldn't be murder. Murderers were ponies who killed for fun, or to get money, or something like that. She killed that stallion to make sure he wasn't suffering anymore. Certainly not for fun. It was almost like another kind of doctor for him, she reasoned. Her small, contented smile returned, and she nuzzled into her pillow. Shutting her eyes, she fell asleep after a few minutes.
* * * *
Fluttershy awoke the next morning to the sound of Rarity moving about their hotel room. She opened one eye and saw her friend combing her mane and brushing her teeth. She straightened up and opened her other eye, stretching out her wings to ease the stiffness out of them.
"Good morning, Rarity," she chirped. "Did you sleep well?"
Rarity spit out her toothpaste and gargled some water to get out the rest of it before dabbing her mouth with a towel and nodded. "Slept like a rock, to borrow a phrase." She put her manebrush down and levitated her makeup kit over. "How about you? Are you feeling better?"
Fluttershy smiled and slid out of bed. "Much. Thank you for inviting me to come to Canterlot, Rarity. It's done a lot to help me with Angel Bunny." Fluttershy's smile faded, and her head lowered. "I still miss him," she muttered, "but he wouldn't want me to think too much about it, you know? I... I have to keep going. There are others out there who need my help."
Fluttershy looked up when she felt Rarity put a hoof on her shoulder, and her small smile returned when she saw the kind look on her friend's face. "I think that's a wonderful thing, darling. I understand that it hurts to lose someone you care about, but you had some good times with Angel Bunny. You have those memories to honor him by, and even though his passing was difficult, he is in a better place right now, and I think he's happily watching over you."
Fluttershy wrapped a foreleg around Rarity's shoulder and pulled her in for a tight hug.
"Exactly." She leaned her head against Rarity's shoulder, smiling when her friend returned the hug. "And I think I know how to help others better now."
* * * *
Rarity and Fluttershy returned to Ponyville a few hours later, spending the three hour train ride chatting with each other about Rarity's successes in Canterlot. Fluttershy spent much of the trip subtly scanning the other ponies in the compartment, looking to see if anypony seemed deathly ill. Everypony there was going to Ponyville, so if so, she could find them and help them easily enough. Thankfully, everypony else seemed to be in perfect health. Fluttershy smiled at this. As good as it was to help ponies, it felt even better when she didn't have to do it at all.
The train reached Ponyville that afternoon. Rarity and Fluttershy went their separate ways once they reached the station, with more promises of visits between the two of them planned. Fluttershy adjusted her suitcase strap on her back and trotted in the direction of her home.
She smiled and sighed happily as the warm spring air washed over her. Somehow everything seemed brighter than it had been since Angel Bunny's death. Her friends were right: she did have to move on. How she had helped that stallion made her realize that.
"Hey, Fluttershy!" came a familiar voice to her left. Fluttershy turned and smiled wider when she saw Twilight across the street from her. She spread her wings and flew over to her before the two exchanged a quick hug. "How are you? How was your trip with Rarity?"
"Oh it was very nice, Twilight," she said happily. "You girls were right that I needed to get out of my house. I stayed in there for too long." Fluttershy flattened her ears. "I'm sorry about that."
Twilight shook her head and put a hoof on her shoulder. "No, don't be, Fluttershy. What happened hit you hard. You loved him, and it was a terrible thing, but it's great that you've gotten better. What was it about going on the Canterlot trip that helped you so much?"
Fluttershy's ear subtly flicked at the question. No, if Rarity wouldn't understand, then Twilight certainly wouldn't. She didn't even know about how she helped her animals until recently. She would think she was doing an evil thing. Twilight wouldn't understand. Fluttershy put on her best smile and gave a slight giggle.
"Oh, I guess it was just having somepony to talk to. Rarity is a good friend. It was nice to get out of my house for a while, too. The big city could be kind of intimidating at first, but that was what was so great about Rarity being there."
Twilight nodded. "Sounds like you two had a great time, and I'm happy for that." Twilight motioned in the direction of the market. "Well, I have some shopping to get done, so I'll talk to you later. You just let me know if you need anything, okay? I'm always here for you."
"Thank you, Twilight. I don't know what I would do without you girls."
With one final hug, Fluttershy and Twilight parted ways. Fluttershy hummed to herself as she trotted back to her little cottage, smiling and waving as she passed other ponies on the street. None of them were sick, which was good, though some were admittedly elderly...
Fluttershy pushed the thought out of her mind. Elderly did not mean miserable and sick. She once heard Applejack joke that Death would have to come for Granny Smith while she was sleeping, because if she was awake Granny Smith would smack him in the face and tell him to go away. She chuckled at the idea as she trotted up to her door. Upon opening it, she was greeted by the happy squeaks and chirps that usually accompanied her return. She patted a few on the head and nuzzled a couple others before quietly asking them if they would please go back to playing, as she had a little work to do.
Content that her animals were taken care of for the moment, though feeding time would be soon, she walked into her kitchen to the cabinet where her special box was stored. Her smile fell, but she remained resolute. Fluttershy took her suitcase off of her back and put it on the kitchen table before unzipping it and taking her purse out. She set it next to her suitcase before taking her box out of the cabinet. Fluttershy flinched at the sound of it being put on the hardwood table next to her purse. She retracted her hoof the instant it was steady, as though the box held an electric shock. Shuddering, opened up her purse, which still held the leftover ingredients from when she helped the stallion. Gulping, she gingerly opened the box and looked at her stash. It contained plenty in the horrific event that more animals needed help, but if she wanted to expand to making ponies feel better, she would need a lot more. She twitched as she put the ingredients in the box before putting the lid back on. The less she had to deal with that, though, the better.
Fluttershy sat down at the table and pushed the box away behind her suitcase. Her gaze drifted down to the table, where they landed on a single faded red blemish on the wood. Her eyes brimmed with tears as she ran her hoof over the only remaining part of Angel Bunny in her home. She had buried him in the usual spot, of course, but when it came time to clean the table off, she couldn't do it all the way. She had to leave something. Thankfully it was a small enough stain that one could only spot it if they knew where to look.
She sniffled and wiped her eyes with her other foreleg while continuing to run her hoof over the stain. "Mommy's so sorry, Angel Bunny," she whimpered. "I'm sorry that I couldn't help you. I wish I could have made you understand that I was only trying to make you feel better. Mommy couldn't ever hurt you." Fluttershy laid her head down next to the spot. "It's my fault that I didn't make you understand. B-but I learned that animals aren't always going to understand when you try to help them. Ponies too, I guess. They just don't understand that sometimes they don't know what's best for them, and I do. You didn't understand that." Fluttershy let a sob loose. "Why did you never understand that?!" Fluttershy squeaked and put a hoof over her mouth. No need to raise her voice. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
"But I'm not going to have to worry about that anymore, Angel Bunny. You've helped me see that I need to b-be more assertive when helping others feel better. When I helped that stallion... it wasn't so bad. I didn't ask him; he didn't even know. Now he's okay. That's the best way to do it. Yeah, that's the best way." Fluttershy's jaw quivered, and she whimpered before nuzzling the spot. "Oh why didn't you let me help you?"
Fluttershy's musings were interrupted by three sharp knocks on her door. She squeaked and shot to her hooves. She blinked once before turning towards her door. After a few moments, another trio of knocks came. She sighed and wiped her eyes again before flying over to the door and opening it. She flinched back almost unperceptively when she saw a beaming Pinkie Pie on the other side.
"Heya, Fluttershy!" Pinkie chirped. "I was just coming over because Dashie is gonna be doing some tricks in the park this evening and she wanted to know if you wanted to--"
Pinkie's smile faded when she saw Fluttershy's puffy red eyes. She flattened her ears and nervously rubbed one of her forelegs. "Um... is this a day to cry?"
Fluttershy took a deep breath, but gave Pinkie a reassuring smile and shook her head. "No, no, Pinkie, not that. I was just..." She sniffled a bit but kept her smile. "Reminiscing. All of my animals are perfectly fine."
Pinkie's smile returned, but not with the same amount of zeal. "Well that's good. I'm hoping that you're not too sad, though. Are you gonna be at the park later?"
Fluttershy nodded. "I think that sounds kind of nice. I haven't seen Rainbow Dash in a while."
"Awesome!" Pinkie cried, her smile returning to its previous length. "In that case, I'll see you later, Fluttershy. I'm gonna head on over to the Ponyville hospital foal's ward to do some cheering up!"
Fluttershy chuckled, and her smile turned a touch more genuine. "Oh yes, it is Wednesday, isn't it?" Fluttershy's smile turned into a thoughtful frown, and her mind drifted over to her box. "So, the foals. Are they all really sick? They're gonna get better, right?"
Pinkie giggled and waved a hoof. "Of course they are. Most of 'em are in there for stuff like broken bones or small surgeries. Nothing life threatening. You don't have to worry about any of them."
"Oh good," Fluttershy said, a relieved smile crossing her face. "Still... would you mind if I came with you today? We still need to catch up a bit, don't we?"
"Absopositivelylutely!" Pinkie cried. "I'd love to have you come along!"
"Alright, then, give me one minute."
Fluttershy shut the door and walked into her kitchen where her box still lay. Sick foals, Pinkie had said. They still had their whole lives in front of them. Sure, they were going to get better, but what if there was one or two who wasn't? A terminally ill foal was just about the worst thing Fluttershy could think of. She reached down and put her hoof on the bottom lip of the lid. Just a little bit couldn't hurt, just in case she needed it.
"You coming, Fluttershy?" Pinkie called out. "We gotta get going!"
"Coming, Pinkie!" Fluttershy responded.
Fluttershy looked back down at the box and sighed. No, there was no reason to do this if she wasn't sure that there wasn't somepony in need. Otherwise she was just looking for excuses to kill. That would be evil, and she wasn't an evil pony. She was doing good things. With a nod, she put the box back in her pantry before going out the door with Pinkie Pie.
"Preeeesenting your favorite party pony! The one who brings smiles to faces all over Equestria! The one, the only, Pinkie Pie!"
The sick foals all let out a cheer as Pinkie Pie bounced into the room, confetti and balloons floating behind her. She grabbed the balloons and began hoofing them out to the various foals, much to their delight. A foal hooked up to an I.V. went up to Pinkie and hugged one of her legs, causing Pinkie to return the hug with as much vigor as appropriate, while still being gentle. She bounced around, giving the sick fillies and colts smiles, balloons, little gifts, and joy. Fluttershy smiled, but hung back. They were more interested in Pinkie than her.
Fluttershy surveyed the foals ward and allowed herself a small smile. Pinkie was right: most of them seemed to be in for things like broken bones or minor illnesses. Most of them didn't even have IVs in their legs.
That is until she spotted one of them. An earth pony filly with a light blue coat and no mane. She was smiling at Pinkie, but her face looked gaunt, and there were bags under her eyes. Fluttershy recognized the effects of chemo when she saw them. She walked over to the filly and stood by her bed until she noticed her and smiled.
"Hello, little one," Fluttershy said, putting a hoof on her bed. "How are you today?"
"I'm doing good, Miss," the filly said. Even her voice sounded weak. "Are you here with Miss Pinkie Pie?"
"Yes, I am," Fluttershy said, taking a seat next to the bed. "I wanted to help her make the fillies and colts here feel better."
"I'm glad," the filly said, taking Fluttershy's hoof and nuzzling it. "It's boring here sometimes."
"I'll bet it can be," Fluttershy said with a gentle laugh. "But the ponies here really are working hard to make you all better."
The filly's smile faltered, and she laid her head back on her pillow. "I know. That's what Mommy says, too. But whenever they give me the chemo, I just feel worse."
"Well, it'll eventually make you feel better. I know it's bad now, but I believe that soon you'll be able to go home and you won't be sick anymore."
"They said that last time, then I got sick again," the filly muttered. "I can't remember what it's like to not be sick. The doctors keep saying that I'm gonna get better, but I dunno."
Fluttershy smiled warmly at the filly and put her hoof on her shoulder. "Don't you worry about any of that. I'm sure that everything will be okay. You're going to get better, then I'm going to see you around playing with some of your friends like this whole thing never happened."
"I hope so." The filly leaned her head back on her pillow and sighed. "They keep saying that but it never happens. It hurts, Miss. I don't like feeling sick all of the time."
"And you won't, I'm sure of it. We have some of the best doctors in Ponyville here. They'll fix you up."
"I dunno."
A cheer from the rest of the foals caused Fluttershy to look back over to Pinkie. She was bowing to the group, thanking them for their praise. She turned back to Fluttershy and smiled at her before beckoning her to follow. Fluttershy nodded and turned back to the filly.
"I'll be right back. Pinkie Pie and I just need to take a little break."
"Okay. That's fine," the filly said, nuzzling Fluttershy's hoof again. "Don't take too long, though."
"I won't. And I'll come back to visit you even more."
The filly let go of Fluttershy's hoof, allowing her to stand up and follow Pinkie out of the room. Fluttershy picked up her pace to get to Pinkie's side.
"So how was that, Fluttershy?" Pinkie asked. "Aren't they just the best bunch of foals?"
"Oh yes, they seemed very friendly," Fluttershy said with a smile and a nod. "They really do like you."
"And like I said: most of them are just there for little things. They'll be as right as rain soon enough."
"I was talking to a little filly who was really sick," Fluttershy said. "Do you think that she'll be okay?"
"The one with no mane?" Fluttershy nodded in response, causing Pinkie's wide smile to slowly fade away. "Oh. Yeah, her."
Fluttershy frowned and tilted her head. "What? She's going to be okay, isn't she?"
Pinkie took off her top hat, putting it in her bag with a slight sigh. "Sometimes ponies get really sick and doctors can't help them. I'm friends with that filly's parents. She has Melanoma. It's come back twice." Pinkie's ears drooped. "She has about five months left, the doctors think."
Fluttershy's eyes widened, and she let out a quiet gasp. "B-but they can fix her, can't they? They're doing everything they can, right? She's too young for that!"
"Yes, she is," Pinkie muttered. "Working in the foals' ward as long as I have has taught me that... not everything can be cured with smiles and hard work. Sometimes a foal is in this world for too short a time. She's one of them."
"But..." Tears began brimming in Fluttershy's eyes as she looked back to the ward. "Is she suffering?"
"She's really sick, Fluttershy. It doesn't feel good. Normally I spend the most time with her, but I saw her talking with you today. She really seemed to like you."
"Are her parents here?"
"They visit every day, but they can't be there all day," Pinkie said. "That's why they appreciate ponies like us who come to cheer the foals up. It lets her know that she's still loved and cared for, even if her parents have to work."
Fluttershy flattened her ears and lowered her head. Pinkie put her hoof on Fluttershy's back and gave her a smile. "We're going to work hard to make sure that the rest of her life is as happy as we can make it. She's gonna go to Paradise knowing that she had ponies all around her who loved her and cared for her, even if she was sick all of the time. Then when she does get to Paradise, surrounded by ponies who love her very much, she's not going to be sick anymore."
Fluttershy perked her ears up a little as her mind went back to the stallion she had saved. Yes, he wasn't suffering anymore, and while his family was probably very sad, they were probably also a little happy that he wasn't in any more pain. They could remember him as he was, not the sickly pony he became. Fluttershy raised her head a little more. This filly could be like that. Pinkie Pie was right: once she got to Paradise, she wouldn't be sick anymore and she'd be happier than she ever was in life.
But maybe there was a chance.
"Is it definite that she can't get better?" Fluttershy asked. "M-maybe there's something."
Pinkie Pie squeezed Fluttershy's shoulder. "I'm still hoping there is. The doctors here are trying everything, and medicine keeps getting better all the time. We just gotta keep hoping and supporting her. Either way, she'll know that she has ponies who love her."
And don't want to see her suffer like that anymore, Fluttershy thought. Her mind flashed to her box. That evil, wonderful box. Maybe there was some medicine that could cure the filly.
* * * *
"How are you today, Starshine? Are you feeling any better?"
Starshine gave Fluttershy a weak smile. "Not really, Miss Fluttershy, but I am happy that you're here. It does make me feel a little better."
"Well I'm glad," Fluttershy said, returning her smile. "Here..." Fluttershy nosed her saddlebag open and took out a stuffed bear. "I brought something for you. He can be here to keep you company and watch over you when your parents or I can't be here."
Starshine took the bear and squeezed it as much as she could. "Thank you, Miss Fluttershy. I'll treasure him fore--" A wheezing coughing fit cut Starshine off. She continued coughing while Fluttershy poured her a glass of water. When she stopped, Fluttershy brought the glass over to Starshine, helping her drink through the straw.
"Thanks," Starshine said, her voice gravelly from the coughing. "I don't like it when that happens."
"It's okay, Starshine," Fluttershy said, putting a hoof on Starshine's shoulder. "Should I get a doctor?"
Starshine shook her head and squeezed the bear closer. "No, that's okay. They said they can't really do much about the coughing." Starshine reached out and grabbed Fluttershy's hoof, while Fluttershy moved closer to the bed to allow her to hold it closer.
"You're a very brave filly. The bravest one I've ever met."
"I guess," Starshine muttered. "I don't want to have to be brave anymore, though." Starshine's jaw quivered, and she nuzzled Fluttershy's hoof. "I don't wanna die, Miss Fluttershy," she whimpered. "The doctors say I'm probably gonna, though. They told my mommy and daddy that the chemo is just to make me comfortable until..." Starshine sniffled and wiped her eyes with her hoof. "But I hate the chemo. I feel really bad when they do it."
Fluttershy's own eyes began brimming with tears, and she began stroking Starshine's head. "It'll all be okay, though. You--"
"No it won't!" Starshine wailed. "I hate how I see other foals leave and they're feeling okay. I hate how their parents promise them that they're gonna go to the park or Sugarcube Corner to celebrate but my parents can never tell me that! I hate how I can't eat anything without feeling like I need to throw up! I just... I just want it all to stop! I'm tired of being a brave little filly. I'm tired of being strong, Miss Fluttershy. I just wanna go home!"
"It will stop, though," Fluttershy said, tears streaking down her face. "I... I promise you. You're going to feel a lot better very soon. The doctors will find something to help you and you'll be able to go home."
"But that's what they said last time, and the time before that," Starshine moaned. "I think they're lying when they say they can make me comfortable."
"I'm so sorry," Fluttershy said, gingerly pulling Starshine in for a hug. "But I'm here. Your mommy and daddy will be here just as soon as they can. It's four thirty. They're always here by five, aren't they?"
"I know, and I know they're trying, but they can't make me feel better either." Starshine sniffled and wiped her eyes again. "I hate making them sad because they have to look at me and see this. I think I want that to stop the most. I hate making them see me sick like this. I don't wanna die, but... it'd stop making everypony sad. M-maybe Mom and Dad could have another foal afterwards. One who wasn't sick all the time."
"Don't say that!" Fluttershy said, hugging Starshine closer. "Your mommy and daddy love you and will do everything that they can to help you. If they have another foal, it won't be because they want to replace you. They could never, ever do that."
"Maybe they should," Starshine muttered. "Then they wouldn't be sad all the time. I know they're trying to hide it, but I can see it. They're always sad a--"
"It's not your fault," Fluttershy insisted. "You haven't done anything wrong. You're a wonderful filly, and if it happens, your parents are going to remember you with love and joy. It'll all be okay, I promise."
Fluttershy swiveled her ear when she heard the door of the room Starshine had been moved to open up. She turned her head and smiled when she saw Starshine's parents walk into the room. She got to her hooves and nodded in greeting.
"Hello, there. How are you?"
"Never mind that, how are you doing, Starshine?" Starshine's mother said, rushing over to her daughter and wrapping her into a hug. Are you feeling nauseous?"
"Not too bad," Starshine said, nuzzling her mother's chest. "Miss Fluttershy gave me a teddy bear so I wouldn't have to be alone when you can't see me."
"That's wonderful," Starshine's mother said, smiling at Fluttershy. "We'll still keep seeing you as much as we can."
"So will I," Fluttershy chimed in.
"Thanks." Starshine let out a small yawn and hugged her mother's foreleg. "I feel better when you guys are here."
"We'll always be here," Starshine's father said. "It's gonna be okay." Fluttershy didn't miss the strain in his smile.
"Well, I'll be heading out," Fluttershy said, slowly backing away. "I'll be back to see you again tomorrow, okay?"
"Okay," Starshine said, yawning again.
Fluttershy exited the room, but stopped when she heard Starshine's father coming up behind her. She turned back and smiled at him, something he weakly returned.
"I never told you this, but thank you for everything you're doing for Starshine. Pinkie's weekly visits help out, but having you here over the past few months when we can't be helps more than you can imagine. It gives her something to look forward to."
"I'm happy to do it," Fluttershy replied. "She's a wonderful filly and..." Fluttershy's ears flattened. "I wish she didn't have to go through that. She's gonna miss a lot of cool things. She probably won't even get her cutie mark."
"I know, and I'll admit that it's hard for us, too," Starshine's father said. "But we won't miss a single opportunity to spend time with our daughter. We want every minute we can get with her."
"But..." Fluttershy tilted her head a little. "Doesn't it hurt to see her like that? Wouldn't you want that to be over?"
"I'd give anything," Starshine's father said, running a hoof through his mane. "I'd give anything to see her not suffer like this anymore. I'm struggling with wanting to see her as much as I can while still wanting it to be over for her. When it... happens, she'll be perfectly healthy in paradise, and when, Celestia willing, my wife and I make it there, we're going to be so happy with our daughter again. She won't be hurting anymore." He sighed and leaned his head against the wall. "I don't know what to feel."
"Just be there for her right now," Fluttershy said. "If you can do that, she'll know that she's not alone. I'll do whatever I can to make her feel better."
Whatever I can.
* * * *
Fluttershy sighed as she walked into her kitchen. Starshine was suffering, that much was abundantly clear, but she was staying alive as much as possible to see her parents. Fluttershy opened up her cabinet and took out her box. It would be fairly simple to do, she mused. She'd have to be very careful about it, but it wouldn't be impossible. Fluttershy popped the lid off of the box and stared at the ingredients inside. How much happier was that old stallion now that he wasn't in the hospital all of the time? His family had doubtlessly begun to heal from the pain of his loss, too. It was just like setting a broken bone. It would hurt to set it, but once it was over, the bone could begin to heal correctly.
Fluttershy took a few ingredients out of her box, but stopped halfway through as another thought entered her mind. The stallion had an entire lifetime with his family. He was old, and old ponies had a long, happy life. Certainly enough to experience the joys that came with it. Starshine was still a filly. She didn't even have her cutie mark. Her parents wanted to spend as much time as they could with their daughter, no matter how sick she was. If Fluttershy helped her, that would be over, possibly before the three of them spent as much time as they could together.
I just... I just want it all to stop! I'm tired of being a brave little filly. I'm tired of being strong, Miss Fluttershy. I just wanna go home!
I know, and I'll admit that it's hard for us, too, but we won't miss a single opportunity to spend time with our daughter. We want every minute we can get with her.
I know, and I know they're trying, but they can't make me feel better either. I hate making them sad because they have to look at me and see this. I think I want that to stop the most. I hate making them see me sick like this. I don't wanna die, but... it'd stop making everypony sad.
I'd give anything to see her not suffer like this anymore. I'm struggling with wanting to see her as much as I can while still wanting it to be over for her.
Fluttershy whimpered and thunked her head onto the table. They didn't have enough time with their daughter, but at the same time, she was suffering. She'd be so happy once it was over. No more pain. But her parents would lose their only daughter too soon.
Fluttershy sighed and began putting the ingredients back. Maybe she could wait a few days before making her choice.
* * * *
Fluttershy sniffled and wiped her eyes as she stared at the picture of Starshine surrounded by her few personal effects. She became aware of a few mourners behind her, and she moved on to find Starshine's parents. She found them sitting in front of the small coffin positioned on the stage. They looked up when she approached them and all three exchanged watery smiles.
"Thank you so much for coming, Fluttershy," Starshine's mother said. "She would have been very happy to have you here."
"I wouldn't miss it. I wanted to say goodbye too."
"We really appreciate all of the support you've given us," Starshine's father said. "And so did she. She insisted that she be buried with the stuffed bear you gave her. It really did mean a lot to her."
"I was happy to do it," Fluttershy said, wiping away tears. "She's okay now."
"I just wish that she didn't have to suffer so much in the end," Starshine's mother said. "You saw her: she could barely move. I wish she didn't have to feel that."
"So do I," Fluttershy said, her voice cracking. "She was such a wonderful filly, and I wish I could have known her before all of this."
"So do we," Starshine's mother said.
"She may have hurt a lot in the end, but she's not hurting now. E-everything is going to be fine for her."
"I keep trying to tell myself that," Starshine's father muttered. "I would have given anything to make the last few weeks not so painful."
"Painful," Fluttershy repeated. She sniffled and took in a shaky breath. Looking behind her, Fluttershy saw a few other mourners lining up to talk to the grieving parents. She excused herself and went into the bathroom, where she finally broke down completely.
"I'm so sorry!" she moaned. "I'm sorry, Starshine! I made the wrong choice! I'm so, so sorry! I could have helped you!" She sniffled and wiped her eyes. "I could have helped you."
"Fluttershy? Fluttershy? Are you okay?" Rarity sighed and put her hoof on Fluttershy's back, something that elicited no response from her friend. She merely continued to stare at the ground, her ears and wings drooped. Rarity scooted forward and wrapped Fluttershy in a tight hug. "I know there are no words of comfort I can possibly give you that will take the pain away. Just know that she's not suffering anymore. She's happy now."
Fluttershy whispered a barely audible response. Rarity swiveled her ear closer to her and leaned in. "What's that, darling?"
Fluttershy sniffled and wiped her eyes with her hoof. "Should have done something," she muttered.
"Oh darling..." Rarity gently nuzzled Fluttershy. "We all wish we could have. I know you would have given anything to save her. This hurts. I know it does."
Fluttershy took a shaky breath in. "Just wanted her to stop suffering," Fluttershy whispered almost inaudibly. "Could have done something."
"I understand, darling," Rarity said. "Just know that she's not suffering now. I have no doubts in my mind that she is enduring no pain, nor will she ever again. She's happy."
Fluttershy sniffled and gently leaned her head against Rarity's shoulder. She couldn't deny the truth of Rarity's words. Starshine was happier now. There was no doubt.
"Selfish," Fluttershy whispered. "I was selfish."
Rarity frowned and broke the hug. "How? How in Equestria were you selfish?"
Fluttershy wiped her eyes with the back of her hoof. "Wanted to spend more time with her. Meant she just kept suffering."
"Oh darling..." Rarity wrapped her friend in another hug. "It's hardly selfish of you to want to spend more time with somepony you love, even if they are sick. I'm positive that Starshine cherished each and every moment she spend with you and her parents, regardless of how she was feeling physically. You and her parents cherished every moment as well. You wildly improved her final days. How is that selfish at all?"
"I could have--"
"Fluttershy, there was nothing you could have done other than what you did. You made her happy! You helped her in ways no medicine ever could." Rarity gently nuzzled Fluttershy.
"Maybe. Just..." Fluttershy pulled away from Rarity's hug. "Just wanna be alone right now."
"Oh." Rarity blinked in confusion before slowly getting to her hooves. "Y-yes. Of course. You just let me know if you need anything, anything at all, and I'll do everything in my power to help." She gently smiled and put a hoof on Fluttershy's back. "You don't have to go through this alone, darling." Fluttershy didn't respond. She merely stared at the ground and poked at a loose splinter in her floor. Rarity's smile slowly faded, and she let out a nearly inaudible sigh.
"I will see you later, dear."
Rarity quietly walked out of Fluttershy's home, leaving her friend alone to stare at the floor. Fluttershy's ear flicked when she heard the door to her cottage close. As she sat there, none of her animals came up to her to comfort their friend. They seemed to sense that it wouldn't help. They merely stayed in their holes and small houses.
After ten minutes, Fluttershy took a deep, shaky breath and slowly got to her hooves. She trudged over to her kitchen and opened one of the cabinets to gently take out the box. That wonderful, horrible box. She set it down on her table, covering up the small stain of Angel's blood. Fluttershy paused for a moment to work up the nerve, then slid the lid off of the box and peered inside.
She could have helped Starshine with what was in the box.
"Selfish," Fluttershy whispered as she took out one of the ingredients. How could she be so selfish as to want Starshine to keep suffering just so she could see her for a few more months? She had the power to help her, but she didn't. Starshine's last few days were spent in misery the likes of which Fluttershy couldn't comprehend. By the end the nearly skeletal filly could barely even open her eyes.
What kind of Element of Kindness was she? She didn't deserve that title. She was sure of that. It would have been kind to let Starshine go. Instead she watched her suffer for months.
"I wish I could go back and help you," Fluttershy moaned. "I w-would have fixed you! I would have made you happy."
Fluttershy let out a single sob and put her hoof on the box. She would never again let a pony suffer like Starshine had. She would never again be selfish and let them waste away just so she could see them for a little while longer. Doubtlessly there were ponies all over Equestria that she could help. Maybe even some in Ponyville. Maybe, just maybe, if she helped enough ponies, she could become worthy of the title of Element of Kindness again. Slowly Fluttershy began taking the rest of the ingredients out of the box. She'd need more if she wanted to truly help ponies.
"For you, Starshine," Fluttershy muttered to herself. "I'll do it for you."
* * * *
"Thank you so much for coming with my again, Fluttershy!" Pinkie said happily as she hopped down the road to Ponyville General. "I know the foals are just gonna love seeing you again!"
Fluttershy smiled weakly and walked alongside Pinkie, her saddlebag secured to her side. "Oh, of course, Pinkie. Anything to help them feel better."
"Well I'm sure you being there is gonna help a lot!" Pinkie said as the hospital came into view. "We'll tag team it! I can entertain the crowd while you talk to individual foals to see how they're doing!"
"That sounds like a good idea."
"Speaking of making ponies feel better, you're looking a bit better yourself, Fluttershy."
Fluttershy smiled a bit wider and shrugged with her wings. "Well, I guess I figured out that I can't spend all of my time grieving like I did with Angel. Starshine wouldn't want me to spend a month locked in my cottage. She'd want me to go out and start helping ponies again."
"I couldn't agree more!" Pinkie stopped in front of the door to the hospital and held it open for Fluttershy to go in first. Fluttershy nodded in thanks and walked in to hold the second set of doors open for Pinkie. Once Pinkie entered, she followed behind her to the front desk. Nurse Redheart stood there, chatting with the receptionist, but turned and smiled at Pinkie as she approached.
"Ah, here for the foals?" Redheart asked.
"Yes indeeedy do!" Pinkie chirped, setting her bag on the floor and pulling out her top hat. "Pinkie and Fluttershy are here to spread happiness and cheer!"
"Excellent. Well, you know where they are." Redheart motioned down the hallway. "Just head on back."
"Okie dokie loki!" Pinkie picked her bag back up and slung it over her back. "Come on, Fluttershy! Let's go spread some smiles!"
With that, Pinkie threw the door of the foals' ward open and hopped inside. The foals all looked to the door and smiled when they saw Pinkie.
"Preeeesenting your favorite party pony!" Pinkie cried. "The one, the only..."
"Pinkie Pie!" the foals cheered.
"Aaaand Fluttershy!" Pinkie said, pointing at Fluttershy, who had quietly walked in behind her. "Now come on, everypony, let's see some smiles!"
The foals cheered again as Pinkie Pie hopped around the ward giving out hugs and small gifts. Fluttershy smiled at the antics of her friend before scanning the room to look for anypony she could help. She sighed in relief when she didn't spot anypony that looked too sick. Not as bad as Starshine had been. A few of the foals had broken legs. One or two had IVs, but she could tell they didn't have any life-threatening issues. They looked as happy and energetic as one could while stuck in a hospital. However, as she continued scanning the room, she did notice one little filly in the corner. She appeared to be about Starshine's age. Unlike the rest, she didn't get out of her bed when Pinkie entered the room. Fluttershy studied her face and saw only one thing on it: pain.
It seemed like there was somepony she could help after all. She draped a wing over her saddlebag and trotted over to the filly.
"Hello there," she said, stopping next to the filly's bed and giving her a comforting smile. "How are you today?"
"Okay, I guess," the filly said weakly. She tried to turn to face Fluttershy, but the movement caused her to flinch in pain. "Hurts."
"Oh, that's too bad." Fluttershy sat next to the filly's bed and put a hoof next to her. "My name is Fluttershy. I'm here with Pinkie."
"I heard that," the filly said. "I'm Green Leaf. I just had surgery a few days ago."
Surgery. Something was obviously wrong if she needed surgery. Perhaps she'd needed a tumor removed. Yes, she could definitely help Green Leaf.
"I'm sorry to hear that," Fluttershy said, gently placing a hoof on her bag. "Are... are you going to be okay?"
"I hope so, but I don't know," the filly whispered fearfully. "It's really scary being in the hospital for surgery, Miss Fluttershy." Green Leaf's jaw wobbled, and a pair of tears streaked down her face. "It's scary to have them cut me open. I hate how I can't move without it hurting!"
"It'll all be better soon," Fluttershy said, gently putting a hoof on one of Green Leaf's. "I promise that very soon you won't feel any more pain."
"The doctors won't give me any more pain killers right now," Green Leaf moaned. "They say they won't give me any more until six!" Green Leaf nuzzled into her pillow. "And I don't even know if they work."
"I'm sorry." Fluttershy reached out to gently stroke Green Leaf's mane. "Is there anything I can do for you? Anything at all?" Green Leaf merely shrugged and groaned in pain. "Would... would you like a glass of water?"
"I guess," Green Leaf muttered. Fluttershy smiled and stood up.
"Then I'll be right back. The water will help. You'll see."
Yes, the water would help. Green Leaf would feel better very soon. Fluttershy was certain of that. She exited the foals' ward and quickly found a water cooler. She took a paper cup and quickly filled it with water before looking around. Nopony seemed to be around. She just needed a moment. She took a deep breath and opened up her saddlebag.
"I can do this," she said to herself. "I can do this. Don't be selfish. Don't make the mistake you made with Starshine. You can help her."
Just as she reached into her saddlebag for the wonderful, awful medicine, she heard a door open nearby. She yipped and turned around to see Redheart coming out of the room behind her.
"Oh, hello, Fluttershy," Redheart said as she put the clipboard she carried back in the holder next to the door. "How are things going in there?"
"Oh, j-just fine," Fluttershy replied, giving Redheart a shaky smile. "Y-yes, just fine."
"Good to hear. They all doing okay in there?"
"I think so. Um..." Fluttershy glanced back at the door to the foals' ward. "There is one filly. Green Leaf. I don't know how well she's doing. She seemed to be in a lot of pain from her surgery."
Redheart grimaced and nodded. "Yeah, too bad about that one. Appendicitis is a nasty thing."
Fluttershy frowned and tilted her head. "Appendicitis?"
"Yeah. Had mine out when I was just about her age. Couldn't walk for a week or two after. Never been in that much pain."
"But, um..." Fluttershy glanced at the door again. "Sh-she'll be okay, right?"
Redheart gave Fluttershy a comforting smile. "Of course she will be. We've done that surgery hundreds of times. As you can see it hurts afterward, but she'll be up and about in no time at all, running about like it never even happened."
"But she said she was scared that she wouldn't be okay."
Redheart shrugged. "Well, hospitals can be really scary places for foals, especially when you have to have a surgery like that. She'll be fine."
"Oh." Fluttershy subtly closed her saddlebag. "Um... if you're sure."
"Completely positive. I haven't lost a patient to appendectomy complications yet. Foals are stronger than we give them credit for sometimes. She'll pull through."
"Okay."
"Well, I'll see you later, then," Redheart said. "Thank you again for everything you do here. It really does help a lot."
"Of course. I'm, um, I'm glad to help."
Fluttershy watched Redheart walk away for a few seconds before taking a deep breath and turning her attention back to the small plastic cup of water in her hooves. Perhaps Redheart was right. Green Leaf had gone through a routine surgery and was fine. Nothing to worry about. It hurt, yes, but nothing life-threatening. Right now the best way for her to help Green Leaf wasn't to give her the medicine. It was just to give her kindness and support.
And water. That might help, too.
With a sigh, Fluttershy transferred the glass of water to her wing. She carefully walked back into the foals' ward and over to Green Leaf. She gently moved it over to the bedside table so she could sit down
"I'm back, Green Leaf," Fluttershy said, picking up the glass and hoofing it over to her. "Are you feeling any better?"
"Not really," Green Leaf replied.
"Well, water always helps. You go on and drink up."
"Thanks." Green Leaf took the glass and sipped from it. "I'm already better than I was. I'm not throwing up every time I try to eat or drink something."
"Well there you go. You're going to be fine."
"I guess." Green Leaf drained the rest of the water and allowed Fluttershy to take the cup. She let out a huge yawn and closed her eyes. "Gonna go to sleep now. Hope that's okay."
"Of course it is," Fluttershy said, pulling Green Leaf's blanket over her to tuck her in. "Rest is the best thing for you right now. You'll be just fine." Fluttershy's smile slowly faded. "Just fine."
Yes, Green Leaf would be okay. She didn't need to give her any of the bad medicine. In a few weeks she'd probably see Green Leaf running around town with her friends without a care in the world. The thought warmed Fluttershy's heart. At the same time, she sensed a new feeling in the back of her mind. One that didn't quite match up with the happiness she felt at the knowledge that this foal would be okay. It felt like...
