Chapter 1
Vinyl Scratch bobbed her head to the beat, glad to be in her element once again. The bass not only drowned out all other sounds, it had a very cleansing effect on the DJs soul. She spun another record, dropped another beat, and slammed another shot of particularly hard cider. In all honesty, though, she was the only mare in the bar paying attention to the music, probably because everypony else was too smashed to do anything other than raise their head off the table and grunt.
The Mane Six all sat at the bar each in various states of intoxication. Twilight Sparkle was face down on the bar, surrounded by overturned shot glasses. Now, unbeknownst to most ponies, she was no lightweight. However, due to her general frustration with life, and the fact that three different ponies had each slipped her a mickey, she had passed out before anypony else. She now existed only in dreamland, and considering that she was drunk, and well… Twilight, this land would have made even Discord pause and say “Wait, what?”
To the purple mare’s left sat Rarity, who was trying to muster as much dignity as possible and balance a martini glass on Twilight's head. Her reasoning behind this was that if she, the most fantabulous fashion designer in all of Equestria, could look amazing at a bar, then why shouldn't her friends? And besides, Twilight had lost all of her other garments in the earlier game of strip poker.
Before she was finished with her work, however, Twilight shifted, and mumbled, “D’n mnto, ahshwer.”
This movement caused Rarity to accidentally dump the contents of the glass onto her friends face.
“Oh dear, hollld shtill darling.” She slurred, before slumping against the unconscious unicorn and petting her mane absently, trying to wipe off the alcohol.
When she realized this was having no effect, she sat a little straighter, and shouted, “Waiter! Another round please!”
To her left, Applejack looked up in annoyance, and then went back to her conversation with Rainbow
Dash.
“Look, all ahm sayin’ is that the princesseseses could be a little more *burp* careful about lettin’ in monsters from the Everfree-” She continued her rant to the dreamy eyed Pegasus, who was gazing at her friend with rapt attention.
The cyan pony held a hoof up to the farmer’s mouth. “Applejack?” She whispered.
The orange pony stopped trying to talk through the hoof and said, “Hmmph?”
Rainbow Dash leaned close to her ear and purred, “I love you.”
Applejack's eyes widened. “Umm…Ah… Say what now?”
“I love you. I always have, and I always will.”
The farmer looked to the bottle in her friends other hoof, and sighed. “Look, hon, Ah don’t know how to tell you this, but Ah-”
She faltered.
The Pegasus took this as a sign to continue, and leaned in, with her lips puckered. “Shhh, don’t say anything.”
When she was not met with Applejack, but air, she hiccuped and opened her eyes. Applejack had dodged her kiss, and was leaning as far away from Rainbow as she could.
“Listen, mah barn door don’t swing that way!”
The blue pony stopped and blinked, confused. “What *Hic* what does this have to do with your barn?”
Applejack glared. “Ah don’t-”
“You don’t what?”
Her glare narrowed. “Ah don’t lik-”
“You don’t like what*Hic*?”
“AH DON’T LIKE-”
“YOU DON’T LIKE WHAT?!?!”
With that, Applejack punched her friend in the face. “AH DON’T LIKE MARES!” She screamed, before tackling Rainbow Dash and holding her against the bar, pounding her with her hooves.
The pegasus thought it was some sort of game, and started slapping Applejack with her hat, giggling. Thanks to Vinyl’s music, however, nopony really noticed.
On the other side of the bar, a strange spectacle was taking place, for two reasons. Reason one was that Pinkie Pie was quiet. Not asleep or dead. She was just quiet, except for the occasional groan. The second reason was Fluttershy. She was not quiet. At all. She was laughing, and spinning around on her stool, poking Pinkie with her hooves, then laughing some more. To a passerby, there would not appear to be anything wrong with them, except for the fact that they were both extremely drunk. But to anyone who had ever partied with Pinkie, this was all wrong. Pinkie could not be sick, or drunk. She was by far the most heavyweight drinker in Ponyville, probably in Equestria. And even after consuming an entire barrel of cider by herself, she never even acted tipsy. So what the hay had she been drinking to reduce her to a moaning pink blob on the counter? And why did Fluttershy seem to have a white powder all over her face?
Vinyl Scratch watched the six ponies at the bar. She slammed another shot. Looking down at the instrument panel before her, she noticed that the buttons seemed to be escaping. She pounced on them, creating a strange melody of sounds that could even pass for music. She looked up. Hey, that was cool. Suddenly, she began slamming her head down on the mixing table, and rolling around on all the buttons and switches. She hopped up on her station, and started to do a strange, tilting, loopy, spinny dance, creating what she thought was fantastic music. The ponies at the bar even looked around, obviously in awe of her skills. Best night eeever, She thought, before passing out and tumbling off the turntables.
The Bartender surveyed the destruction before her. All of the Elements of Harmony were asleep at the counter, some sporting bloody noses and black eyes. Apparently, after trying to kill everyone via dubstep, the DJ had blacked out and was slumped over a stool. There were bottles, glasses, mares, and broken furniture scattered all around the establishment she called the Watering Hole. She considered cleaning up. For about two seconds. Buck that, I’m going home. She took off her apron, stepped gingerly over Rainbow Dash, who had a brown Stetson clenched in her broken teeth. When she reached the door, she stopped one more time and turned around. Then, she smiled, locked the door behind her, and went home.