Love by Proxy
“Would you look at those two!” Twilight Sparkle said, her outstretched foreleg jostling toward the library’s front window. “Why don’t they just admit it?”
Spike propped his chin on the windowsill and gazed at Fluttershy and Big Macintosh, standing around in the sunset. “Admit what?” he asked. “They’re talking.”
“No they’re not!” Twilight snorted and flicked a hoof at the offending ponies again. “They’ve stood there for nearly half an hour, and I’m quite certain neither one has said a word. I mean, what could they think they’re accomplish—Oh, there they go!” Twilight rushed to the front door and pressed her face against the glass. Fluttershy had scored a small trench in the dirt with her scraping horseshoe and finally spoke to it. Well, presumably to Big Mac. If only she could hear Fluttershy.
“Maybe we should leave them alone,” Spike said, already heading back to the kitchen. “Doesn’t seem like the kind of thing that needs an audience.”
“Spike!” Twilight scowled and held a hoof to her chest. “Of course not! This is a fascinating subject to study, and I’m just observing.”
“Hmmph,” he grumbled. “There’s a lot more to this than your books say, Twilight.”
She blocked his path and arched an eyebrow at him. “How exactly would you know that?”
“Look... I hang out with the Cutie Mark Crusaders enough to hear things...” Somehow, that made him blush, and not the frilly apron he wore. “Remember when they tried to set up Big Macintosh and Cheerilee? They notice things.”
“Those two?” Twilight asked, her other eyebrow joining its raised companion. “Those girls have been talking about Fluttershy and Big Macintosh?”
Spike sighed and hastened his step. He’d never been so squeamish about recording data before. Well, Twilight could go solo on this one. By the time Twilight turned her attention back to the scene outside, Fluttershy was trudging away, and Big Mac was scratching his head.
Twilight nodded. She could handle the situation. She just needed to do some research. Those books that Rarity always checked out should do the trick.
Freshly armed with the latest in romance novel technology, Twilight set out for a morning walk that just happened to go by Sweet Apple Acres. With the warm sun on her back, she hummed along with a few of the birds. She had to smile—it occurred to her that Fluttershy loved singing with them, too, and an extra spring wound its way into her step. Maybe just observing wasn’t enough. Maybe she could act as the catalyst herself. Now, that would make an even more interesting experiment. Plus, helping a friend out always felt good, and Fluttershy clearly needed help.
Twilight trotted up the fence line until she spied Big Mac’s familiar shape hauling a wagon over the next hilltop. “Big Mac!” she called out. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
He nodded, unhitched himself, and took his time ambling over, even stopping to pluck an odd stalk of hay to chew on. For her part, Twilight couldn’t help fidgeting as she leaned against the fence, but she supposed that country life just had a slower pace. Maybe she could stand to dial things back a bit, too. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, then concentrated on hearing the wind swishing through the grass. It was actually quite relaxing. This might be a rather peaceful place to take a nap or read a book or—
“Ahem.” Twilight’s eyes jerked open, and Big Mac faced her across the fence rails, his ears pricked toward her. “You wanted to talk ’bout somethin’?”
“Um... Yeah, I—” Now, why was she getting tongue-tied? She wasn’t the one in love, after all. “Big Mac, I’ve seen you and Fluttershy together. Lots of times.”
“Oh. That.” He rubbed the back of his neck and shifted his weight. If he weren’t already red, she’d swear he would have blushed. “About that...”
“It’s not exactly a secret. Even the Cutie Mark Crusaders have noticed.” He flashed a glare over to the old clubhouse. “Well, you like her, don’t you?” Twilight waited for him to start breathing again.
“Yes’m, I s’pose I do,” he finally answered as he leaned his head onto the rail. He managed a weak smile and rolled his eyes up at her. Could he really be that dense?
“Well, you see her all the time. You’ve never asked her on a date or anything?”
“Um... Nope.”
Twilight’s mouth hung open. “Why not? Isn’t that why you hang out?” Big Mac merely shrugged. “What do you talk about then?”
After appearing to consult the clouds for a moment, Big Mac said, “Just small talk, I guess. How my day is goin’, how’s the family, and such.”
“Every time?” a scowling Twilight asked. “The same thing?”
“Eeyup. To be honest... I don’t mind much. I just like talkin’ to her.”
Twilight sighed and held a hoof to her forehead. “And you’re happy to leave it like that? You don’t want something more?”
Another shrug. “I hate to, y’know, upset the apple cart. I’d rather take what I got than mess it up. I’m not—” he scuffed a hoof through the tall grass against the fencepost “—real good at this.”
“That’s okay. I’m here to help,” Twilight replied with a sharp nod.
She hoped that wasn’t a grimace she saw. “Okay... So what do I do?”
Twilight rubbed her chin and opened her mouth to speak several times. Finally, on her fourth try: “I don’t actually know. But I’ve begun my research already. And the next step is to assess the situation. Tell you what.” She glanced both ways and leaned in close, even though nopony else was around to hear. “I’ll go talk to Fluttershy. We’ll have all this ironed out in no time. You’re in good hooves.”
She grinned broadly. He should have been smiling, too. Why wasn’t he?
The door to Fluttershy’s cottage stood open, and Twilight poked her head through. “Fluttershy?” she called, but nothing moved in response, not even one of the menagerie of animals. “Anypony home?”
“Back here!” Fluttershy’s voice floated on the breeze, and Twilight followed it to the garden in the back. Various birds and rodents swarmed around, plucking weeds from among the vegetables and tossing them in the compost bin. All except for that large bear—he held a puff of dandelion seeds and blew into it. “Stop it!” Fluttershy admonished him. “We’re just going to have weed again next week if you keep doing that.”
“Fluttershy,” Twilight said, shielding her words with a hoof, “maybe we should go inside. You might not want this overheard.”
“Oh, I don’t mind,” she answered, sweeping a hoof at her gathered friends. “I don’t have any secrets from them.”
“Well... I’ve had a talk with Big Macintosh.” Fluttershy had gone pale—well, paler—but Twilight pressed on. “I know what’s going on.”
“Maybe we should go inside.”
Twilight blew across her teacup and waited for Fluttershy to speak, but she hadn’t come out from behind her mane yet. Through the window across the room, Twilight saw another cloud of dandelion seeds float by. At this rate, Fluttershy would never make another sound in her life.
“It’s okay, Fluttershy.” Twilight gave her warmest smile. “I think you two make a cute couple, and I’m here to help.”
“Really?” Fluttershy’s wide eyes finally made an appearance. “You don’t mind...?”
“Of course not!” Twilight said, flicking a dismissive hoof. “But why couldn’t you just ask Big Mac? You went to the trouble of getting his attention, you stood around with him over and over again, and... nothing?”
“I... I just couldn’t.” And those eyes retreated behind their pink screen again.
“To be fair, he didn’t do any better.”
“Oh, no, no, it’s not his fault.” Somewhere in the depths of her mane, Fluttershy’s head shook. “I wouldn’t blame him for worrying that things could get weird. But... how did he know? I never actually told him.”
“He’s more perceptive than ponies give him credit for.” Finally taking a sip of tea, Twilight wriggled down into her seat. “So, what would a good first date be like for you?”
“Oh. Um. I don’t...”
“Oh! Those trees that bloom at night are in season now, over in the Whitetail Woods! You two could watch the bats come out at dusk and congregate on them.” Twilight set her tea down and clapped her hooves together. “Doesn’t that sound great?”
“Actually... yes it does,” she ventured, parting her mane from in front of her eyes.
“And in the sun’s last rays, you could be swept off your hooves with a surprise kiss.” Twilight scratched her head. “Or so my research material says.”
“Oh... Oh my...” And Fluttershy skipped her mane altogether, going straight to burying her head under one of the couch’s pillows. But the pillow did give a faint nod. And giggled.
“Fluttershy?”
Still giggling...
“Okay. I’ll arrange everything and check back with you later.” Her tea had gotten cool, anyway. She downed the rest of it and trotted back toward Sweet Apple Acres, leaving her speechless friend behind.
“Big Macintosh!” Twilight called from the same spot along the fence. This time, Big Mac didn’t take his time—he galloped right over, but clearly not too fast. “I think we’re a go.”
“Oh.” He blinked twice and sank to his haunches. “So... what’s gonna happen?”
Twilight giggled. She had to figure that somepony who spent that much time outdoors would like what she had planned, but maybe sitting around and watching bats wouldn’t hold his interest. Well... it shouldn’t for long, anyway. “I suggested riding out to the Whitetail Woods to see the bats congregate on the night-blooming trees. You know how she loves unusual animals.”
“Mmhmm. But... riding? You want me to... carry her?” Big Mac closed one eye halfway.
“No, no!” Was she really going to have to walk him through every detail? “I’ll make another one of those apple carriages. We just need somepony to pull it. Applejack’s strong—do you think she’d mind?”
“Well,” Big Mac said, running a hoof down the back of his neck, “don’t you think that’d be... kinda odd? Havin’ my own sister along on a date?”
Twilight waved a hoof to brush off his words. “Not at all! I figure she’d drop Fluttershy off—you’d be waiting there for her—and go off a discreet distance for a while. I mean, it’s a first date. It’s not like anything is going to happen. Except...” She giggled and tried to cover her blushing cheeks.
“Except what?”
“When you get there—” she averted her eyes and poked a hoof at the fencepost “—you’re going to lean into the carriage and surprise her with a kiss.”
Big Mac pricked his ears forward, then dug a hoof into one to unblock it. “I’m gonna what now?”
“Lean in and give her a kiss.” Twilight levitated a novel out of her saddlebag and held it up for Big Mac to see. “It happens in all the books.”
“Hm. Unbridled Passion,” he read, squinting at the title. “You sure ’bout this?”
“Oh, yes,” Twilight answered, nodding vigorously. “Rarity’s checked this one out at least a dozen times. It must be good. Besides, I already checked with Fluttershy.”
Big Mac swallowed hard and tugged at his collar. “You mean... she said... um...”
“Not exactly. She buried her head under a pillow.” Big Mac just stared back, waiting for some further elaboration. “And giggled.”
“I-I don’t... Huh?”
“Trust me,” she said, holding a hoof to her chest. “That’s a good thing.”
Big Mac shrugged. “If you say so. Seems kinda forward to me, though. I mean, like on the lips? Would you want me to kiss you out o’ the blue like that?”
“I... Well, um, you see...” Her whole face burned now, and she had to settle for a wheezing laugh until she’d recovered. With him staring at her all the while. Finally, she looked at a spot conveniently a little to his left. “Yes,” she said, nodding. “Hypothetically speaking.”
Big Mac remained silent a moment longer. “I s’pose it’s alright, then.”
“Good.” Twilight stuffed her book back into her saddlebag, then pulled out a pencil and a sheet of paper. After hastily sketching out a map, she jabbed a hoof at the large X she’d drawn. “Be here by dusk.”
“Fluttershy?” Twilight craned her neck through the cottage’s front door and found her friend exactly as she’d left her: on her couch, with a pillow over her head, and giggling.
“Fluttershy, everything is set.” She poked Fluttershy’s shoulder until she uncovered her face. Twilight had worked too hard at this to have something go awry because Fluttershy wasn’t listening. Finally, she sat up and returned Twilight’s gaze, but she strained to hold that nervous laughter behind her unsteady smile.
“Applejack will come by with a carriage just before sunset.”
“Ooh, a chauffeur even?” Fluttershy said, leaning forward. She hummed a happy little tune and headed toward her washroom. “That’s only a couple of hours away! I’d better start getting ready!”
Was this the same Fluttershy? Twilight followed her and watched her brush her mane out. Confident, happy... Twilight had to clutch her hooves to her chest to avoid dancing. Everything would turn out perfectly!
“Oh... Um, that thing you mentioned, Twilight?” she asked while rubbing a file against her hoof.
“What thing?” Twilight saw the smile threatening to erupt, but she might as well have a bit of fun first.
“The, um—” she hooked a foreleg over her muzzle and peered at Twilight from behind her improvised barrier “—surprise.”
“If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise now, would it?” Twilight said through her smirk.
“I guess... not.” She worked her brush through a tangle in her mane and sighed. “Thank you, though, Twilight. You’ve helped a lot.”
“All I did was set the stage. The Apples are making it happen.” Twilight stood aside to let Fluttershy past, then followed her to her closet.
After flipping through more than a dozen hangers, Fluttershy settled on a light blue summer gown. “This should show up nice in the evening. Twilight, how did Big Macintosh know, anyway? I never got around to asking him.”
Twilight gave her a playful shove. “Everypony could tell.”
“He’s not... uncomfortable, is he? I wouldn’t want that,” Fluttershy said as she held up her selection in front of the mirror.
“Fluttershy, he’s just as happy as you are. You should have seen the smile on his face.” More of a dumbfounded stare, Twilight supposed, but a little artistic license wouldn’t hurt. “And I have to admit that it’s nice to see you two finally getting together.”
Fluttershy merely bunched up the dress against her face and sighed at her reflection. “Well, I’ll leave you to get ready,” Twilight finally said after a long silence. “I hope you have a good time.”
Rarity adjusted her reading glasses, flipped another page of her book, and took a sip of tea. And on the couch beside her, Twilight nearly vibrated. Half the fun of having a wonderful secret lay in its actually being secret, after all. But she couldn’t hold it in any longer.
“Rarity, Fluttershy’s going on a date!” she blurted out.
The teacup hung in the air, Rarity’s lips frozen in a pucker. Her eyes slowly wandered over to Twilight, who was grinning like a madpony. “That’s, uh... unusual.”
Nodding rapidly, Twilight clapped her hooves together. “I see her talking to Big Macintosh all the time, so I did a little digging and figured the whole thing out!”
Rarity slid her bookmark in place, then levitated her tea and book onto the library table. “Well, I’m certainly glad that somepony else was able to see. That’s wonderful, dear!”
“I wouldn’t call it privileged information. I mean, even the Cutie Mark Crusaders know,” she said, waving a hoof toward the kitchen. “At least according to Spike.”
“Really?” Rarity creased her brow. “Sweetie Belle’s not always... quick on the uptake. But she sure makes up for it with enthusiasm. Anyway, tell me about this date,” she added, leaning forward.
“There’s not much to it, actually. I thought I should keep it simple.” Twilight folded her hooves and slouched in her seat. It was nice to see a job well done. “I made another apple carriage, and Applejack should have picked her up about half an hour ago. They’ll reach their destination any minute now, and they’re going to watch the bats come out.”
Rarity chuckled and levitated her tea up again. “Yes, that sounds lovely. I’ll have to ask her how it went tomorrow.”
A giggle escaped Twilight’s throat, and she sidled a little closer to Rarity. “She’s going to get a surprise, too. Well, she’s kind of expecting it, but still...”
“Mm. What sort of surprise?”
“Something from one of those books you read,” Twilight said, sweeping a hoof toward the shelf of romance novels. Rarity paused mid-sip. “She’s going to get a kiss.”
Rarity coughed and nearly spilled her tea, her eyes shooting wide open. “Are you sure that’s wise?”
“Oh, yes,” Twilight replied, nodding. “Like I said, it’s not really a surprise. She knows about it. When Applejack drops Fluttershy off, Big Macintosh is going to give her a kiss.”
“Oh, that’s sweet,” Rarity said, setting her glasses on the table, “but the other way around, right, dear?”
“Fluttershy kissing Big Mac? Not likely.” Twilight flicked a hoof.
“No, no. Surely Big Macintosh is pulling the carriage...” After a brief pause, Rarity held a hoof to her mouth. “Twilight, you said you’d figured everything out. How exactly did you do that?”
“Simple. I talked to Big Macintosh. Just like Fluttershy couldn’t do. They meet up all the time, but he said she’d only ever make small talk and ask about his family and the weather. It’s pretty clear what she wanted to say, and Big Mac feels the same way. So I set them up.” She beamed and awaited her congratulations.
Rarity’s voice dropped to a low tone, her words rushed. “Twilight, did you ever explicitly tell Fluttershy that Big Mac was going to kiss her?”
“I... don’t know. Why?”
Rarity sighed and fidgeted a hoof against her seat. “Twilight, she asks about Big Macintosh’s family because she wants to know about Applejack.” The color drained from Twilight’s face. “She’s in love with Applejack. She’s... not interested in stallions.”
“Are you sure? How do you know?” If Twilight didn’t do anything to stop it, her heart might thump out of her chest.
“We talk, dear.”
“But Applejack...?”
Rarity’s mouth formed a taut line as she shook her head. “No.”
Twilight’s book fell to the floor with a thud, and she lurched to her hooves. “I-I have to stop them. I have to go.” And she galloped out the door.
When Twilight neared the edge of the woods, she already heard the shout. Reaching deep for an extra burst of speed, she raced the last few furlongs to get there in time. In time to...
Big Mac sat on his haunches next to the carriage—no, he was leaning further back than that, almost on his back. Propped up on one foreleg, the other rubbing a fresh bruise on his cheek as he gaped back at Fluttershy, and a little smear of lipstick near his mouth. His eyes, trembling, awaiting certain doom, like the foal caught in his mother’s chocolate stash. And then Applejack, who stood firm with a fire in her gaze, poised to shout back until—
“And you!” yelled a red-faced Fluttershy, pointing an unsteady hoof at Applejack. “You just thought you’d have some fun with me, didn’t you? Make fun of Fluttershy. She’ll never do anything about it! You’re just the worst kind of pony!”
Twilight froze; she stood almost directly opposite Fluttershy and wondered if she’d seen her. Her eyes—those pupils had dilated to huge black pools and jittered. She—she was... actually going to use The Stare on Applejack?
“Go home! Just go home and leave me alone!” Applejack’s jaw snapped shut, and she strode stiff-legged back toward Sweet Apple Acres, the carriage’s unhitched traces dragging through the dirt after her. Even at this distance and out of the direct line of fire, Twilight’s hooves took a few involuntary steps of their own in the library’s direction before she managed to stop herself.
Fluttershy could only pull her forelock over her eyes and muffle a sob before galloping away.
“What happened? What’d I do?” Applejack shouted over her shoulder. Her gaze shot to Twilight as she hurried after Fluttershy.
“I’m going to fix this!” Twilight called back. Or at least make sure Fluttershy was only mad at the right pony.
“Fluttershy?” Twilight knocked at the cottage door for what must have been the thirtieth time. “Please, Fluttershy. I need to talk to you.”
Crickets chirped around her in the darkness, but nothing else cared to respond. “Please. I need to explain what happened. Don’t blame Applejack and Big Macintosh. They didn’t know...” A few lightning bugs circled around her, the only pinpricks of light in the forest’s shadows, until a golden sliver finally extended from the cracked doorway.
Right and left Twilight craned her neck to see through the entrance, her eyes at last settling on the small, scowling white face rather near the ground. “Angel, may I come in, please? I need to make things right.”
His gaze traversed her up and down, then he stood aside, swung the door open, and jerked his paw toward the interior. Twilight entered and found Fluttershy exactly as she’d been before, head beneath a cushion on the couch. But she was most definitely not giggling.
Beside the sofa, she crouched down on the rug and placed a hoof over the trembling figure’s shoulder. “Fluttershy, please don’t be angry with Applejack or Big Macintosh,” Twilight said softly. “It’s not their fault. They only did what I told them to do.”
Fluttershy slowly pulled her face away and turned it toward Twilight. Black streaks of eye liner ran down both cheeks. “Why?” she squeaked. “Why would you do that? I hope it was funny for you.”
Twilight looked back to see Angel tugging on her tail and wildly gesticulating out the door, his scowl deepening. “I-I didn’t mean to, Fluttershy. It was all a mistake, a horrible mistake.” If she could only lean in and hug her friend, let her feel that warmth, maybe she’d see. But no. Even Twilight could tell that it would do more harm than good. “I thought I was helping. I really did.”
“I don’t want your help,” Fluttershy said, nosing her way back under the pillow.
Twilight took a deep breath. “Just listen. Please. I saw you and Big Macintosh together all the time and got the wrong picture. He did, too—he was just as convinced, and he’s crazy about you. I just thought I’d help you two... break the ice.” Fluttershy’s nearest ear had twisted in Twilight’s direction, and she sniffled. “I won’t ask you to forgive me. But don’t hold it against Applejack. I’ll go talk to her and set everything straight.”
Rolling onto her side, Fluttershy wiped a hoof across her bloodshot eyes. “But it’s all different now. It can’t ever go back to the way it was. She knows now, and—I don’t suppose she’s...”
Twilight pursed her lips and shook her head. “No. But she’s your friend. She likes you for who you are. Maybe she’ll feel strange for a little while, maybe she won’t care in the least. But either way, it will pass. She’s your friend, and that won’t change. I’ll talk to her, but you know how practical she is—she doesn’t get bent out of shape about things like this. Trust her.”
Fluttershy blinked hard and tried to nod, but the tears just welled up in her eyes again. And again, Twilight fought the urge to hug her. Instead, she rested her chin on the couch next to Fluttershy and quietly said, “I’m so, so sorry, Fluttershy. I really am. I know I’m not somepony you want to be around right now, and I need to talk to Applejack and Big Macintosh anyway. I... have some more apologizing to do.” She risked a touch and reached a hoof over to brush a few strands of forelock out of Fluttershy’s face. “I understand that Rarity’s been a confidant—she’s the one who filled me in, once she realized what I’d done. Would you mind if I asked her to come over and sit with you tonight?”
She gathered her legs up and shut her eyes and moved her head in a way that could be loosely described as a nod. Close enough, and Twilight didn’t want to leave her alone, anyway. Well, Angel was there, but Twilight had a hunch that he might not suit her needs at the moment.
Giving Fluttershy a hesitant pat on the shoulder—did she seem to flinch from it?—Twilight turned for the door and trudged out. It was getting late already, and she still needed to stop by Carousel Boutique or the library. Wherever Rarity had ended up. And then Sweet Apple Acres. But she could make things better. She had to believe that. Everything would go back to normal—well, no, Fluttershy was right.
They would all weather this. That’s what friends did. But it wouldn’t be the same anymore, not truly. Time to use that expertise in friendship. One whopper of a letter awaited Princess Celestia on this one.
The lights of Rarity’s home loomed overhead, and beyond it, the dark road toward the Apple family’s farm. Twilight gulped and tapped on the boutique’s window to get her friend’s attention.
“Rarity...?”