A world-renowned flight master is passing through Ponyville, and Rainbow Dash wants to score some lessons from him. He's going to need a favor before he'll teach her or anypony else, however.
The Wonderbolts may be the greatest fliers in Equestria, but overseas in the griffin lands, aviation has become all but synonymous with the name of Gerard Goldenwings. Word gets out that the living legend is vacationing in Equestria, and rumor has it he's looking to take on an apprentice. Rainbow Dash is eager to meet him and prove herself worthy of his tutelage, but she must first perform one simple task: catching a certain special bird.
For Twilight Sparkle, there was nothing in the world more serene and no meditation so profound as that of the early morning study. It was now as the creeping dawn stretched forth to pick at night’s dark threads that everything was at its quietest. The bats and crickets were slipping into their nests while the birds and squirrels still lingered at the edge of their dreams, and for a while the world was empty save for one studious unicorn and her oldest companions: the smell of wrinkled parchment, the occasional scratch of the quill, and the written word. Twilight’s horn shimmered with the purple aura of her magic as she scratched a note and turned the page in her book.
“Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww,” she yawned.
Twilight blinked a few times. She was a little disoriented by the sudden disturbance of the library’s quiet, never mind that that disturbance had come from herself. Her studious trance now broken, Twilight took notice of just now exhausted she really was. Her eyes were burning, her head hung heavy, and her flank tingled with bloodless sensation. She glanced over at the tick-tocking grandfather clock across the room and chuckled at its outrageous face. Twilight had intended to try to get to sleep early, but A History of Saddle Arabia had a way of making her break those ‘just one more page’ promises she kept making to her petrified retinas. She was gripped by another big yawn, this time so loud that even Owlowiscious dozing on his perch cracked an eye to peer at her.
Twilight pushed herself up on her hooves and felt a wave of little pinpricks cascading down her sides. She took a few hard steps, trying to kick the feeling back into her legs, and felt a sudden desire to have the raw morning on her skin and in her lungs.
Owlowiscious watched Twilight as she walked across the room, his eye a shining black bead tracking her from beneath a blanket of feathers.
“Hoo?”
“I’m just going to step outside for a minute,” she told him.
“Hoo.”
Twilight’s hooves dampened with morning dew as she opened the library door and stepped out into a Ponyville smoldering in the colors of autumn. The hunching tulips and the balding blonde trees seemed to lean east in anticipation of the coming sun, its waning warmth loved more now than ever could be in the abundance of summer. Twilight leaned with them and breathed deep the moist, cool air, so refreshing after a night in the hearth-baked library. She smiled and pricked up her ears to listen for the chime of distant birdsong.
“WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING, LEADFLANK! GERARD GOLDENWINGS' NEW APPRENTICE COMING THROUGH!”
“LIKE HE'S GOING TO TEACH A KLUTZ LIKE YOU, RUSTFEATHERS!”
Twilight’s ears bent as the racket slashed the morning. She looked upwards and found two pegasi tangled up in each other, half-flying and half-falling down through the sky. The awkward mass of flapping wings and kicking hooves jerked drunkenly about for a moment before the two parties, a lavender mare and a white stallion, jerked free of each other. They raced off together over the rooftops, drawing two perfectly parallel straight lines save for the occasional scribble made by one trying to body-check the other. Twilight had no time to ponder at the two pegasi before her attention was grabbed by another... and another... and three more. Dozens upon dozens of pegasus ponies came dropping out from high altitudes and went racing after the first pair. Wild as Everfree, they shoved and shouted and cursed their way over Ponyville like a thunderstorm of bad manners.
Twilight stumbled and blushed as she was slammed by the twin gales coming off their wings and their tongues. Finally the last of the pegasus ponies had passed over the library to join the others as a spiraling cloud hanging over the middle of town. Twilight stared off after them, patting down her windblown mane.
“Sheesh, those ponies make Rainbow Dash look like a proper Canterlot gentlemare,” she said.
There came a resounding crash from within the library followed by the fluttering of parchment. Twilight whipped her head around so fast that her neck popped. There was a second crash followed by the swish of something being strewn out over the floor; this time, the paper sounded with the distinctive crackle of something very, very old. Twilight blasted open the door and found a rainbow-colored whirlwind inside wreaking havoc upon her library. Her delicate instruments were upended without dignity, her meticulously compiled notes now carpeted the floor, and her books! Oh, her precious books! Owlowiscious was racing about trying to save them as the whirlwind sucked them up and sent them careening through the air, but he could only catch so many.
“RAINBOW DASH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Twilight screamed.
The spinning cyan blaze with accents from across the spectrum solidified into a pony of the same colors.
“Twilight!” Rainbow Dash tossed aside the book she found herself holding and flew over. “Quick, Twilight, I need that machine that tells you how awesome a flier you are.”
“Awesome flier machine...?” Twilight watched warily as Dash literally vibrated with energy, the colors of her mane blending on the borders.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Dash buzzed, “that thing you used to measure our wingpower last tornado season, remember?”
“Oh, you mean the anemometer. What do you need it for?” Twilight asked.
“Because—oooo, you’re not gonna believe this—” Dash said, shaking her hooves excitedly. “Because Gerard Goldenwings is in Ponyville!”
“And this random pony being in town leads to you ransacking my library because…?”
Rainbow Dash gasped. She grabbed Twilight by the shoulders and shook with all her athlete’s strength. “Pony? Random?! I said Gerard Goldenwings, Twilight, didn’t ya hear me?! You know the griffin who invented the Reverse Half Griffish Eight, right?”
Twilight said nothing.
Rainbow Dash shook her again. “The griffin who made the continental circuit in under fourteen hours?”
Silence.
“You gotta at least know about the guy who’s been winning the annual Tour de Griffrance eight years running,” Dash said, shaking desperately.
“Is... Is that like the Equestria 500?”
“Ugh, you’re hopeless, egghead!” Dash cried, finally releasing her. “Gerard Goldenwings is only the greatest griffin flier there is, maybe even the greatest flier period! Spitfire—that's captain of the freakin Wonderbolts Spitfire in case you forgot that too, smartypants—once said that she would have happily put off her admission to the ’Bolts just for lessons with him.”
It felt like something was still shaking around in Twilight even though Dash had let her go. “Unnngh... so what’s he doing in Ponyville?” she asked, putting a hoof to her head to try steadying whatever was still rattling around in there.
Dash folded her wings and landed, hesitating a bit before she spoke. “I don’t know, it’s part of some sort of Equestria sightseeing thing he’s doing,” she said. “Look, you’re missing the point. Gerard Goldenwings is in Ponyville, Twilight, and the rumor is he’s looking for a student!”
Rainbow Dash’s wings shot out, and she resumed searching the library. Twilight watched in sick silence as Dash got halfway through ransacking the zoology section before abandoning it for the library’s upper level.
“All those other ponies are just gonna brag to Gerard about how great they are, but talk is cheap,” Dash said. She found Spike sleeping and lifted him up to search his basket before plopping him back down in it. Spike’s snoring continued through the entire episode unperturbed.
Rainbow Dash’s eyes scanned the library for her next target. “I need that armo-meter thingy so that I can PROVE just how awesome I am with some digitastic evidence!”
“Digitastic? Do you even–” the rest of the sentence died in Twilight’s gaping mouth when she saw Dash making for the Classics section.
One of the storage crates on the second level burst open, and the anemometer came flying out in a blaze of purple aura. “JUST TAKE IT!” Twilight shrieked as the instrument came rushing to her side. Dash stopped with her hooves only fractions of an inch from Equinnus Rex. She came over and grabbed the anemometer from where it levitated at Twilight’s side.
“Great! Thanks, Twilight, I owe you one!” Dash said, racing out the window into the autumn morning to meet her fortune.
Twilight felt her heart rate begin to tick down and her muscles relax. She sat before her shaking legs had a chance to give out beneath her. “Yeah, don’t mention it.” She sighed and began to survey the damage.
…
Horte Cuisine got his cutie mark in waitering before he was even eye level to the tables he served, and he had been plying his trade ever since. Nevertheless, it took nothing beneath the full exercise of his practiced skill to accomplish the task set before him that morning: navigating a sea of flapping wings and flailing hooves to deliver his customer’s breakfast. Balancing a tray with a cranberry muffin and hot coffee on his back, the lone waiter pony faced the undulating torrents of rowdy pegasi gathered around one of the cafe’s outdoor tables. Horte Cuisine uttered a prayer and entered the maelstrom.
“Hey Gerard, what do you suggest for flying through hail?”
“Gerard, what do you think of Spitfire’s new lineup?”
Horte deftly bobbed and weaved past the excited pegasi, avoiding the obstacles they presented as if they were no less deadly than spikes and swinging axes. He skipped over a tail waiting to trip him and ducked just in time to avoid a stray rump arcing through the air. He noticed a falling feather out of the corner of his eye and swerved just in time to avoid it spoiling the steaming hot coffee.
“What tips do you have for keeping your feathers in shape, Gerard?”
“Gerard, look over here!”
Finally Horte Cuisine arrived at his customer’s table, and so great was his skill that he managed to slip through without any of the ponies he had evaded even noticing his presence. His feat did not pass by completely undetected, however.
“Your coffee and your pastry, monsieur,” Horte said, setting the modest fare upon the table.
“I thank you,” responded a voice in the same accent as Horte’s own. Gerard Goldenwings took up the fresh coffee to his beak and scented its fine and pure aroma. The seated flight master contrasted intensely against the pegasus ponies who filled the air around him, and not just because he was a griffin twice their size. He was like the eye of a hurricane, a bubble of quiet, intense focus around which the storm of wings and thunder of voices whirled. The scarf and aviator goggles hanging around his neck were in a style alien to Equestria, but his feathers could have been cut from the falling leaves so perfectly did his colors sympathize with autumn; his coat consisted mostly of burgundies and fawns, save, of course, for the gold which streaked his folded wings and radiated in the morning sun. He studied Horte over the rim of his coffee cup, his sharp blue eyes shimmering like the horizon.
“Would you have anything else?” Horte asked coolly, restoring the empty tray to his back.
“No, but I appreciate it,” Gerard said. He emptied a talon half full of golden bits on the tray. “Truly, I do.”
Horte nodded graciously and began to again maneuver back through the tight throng of Gerard’s admirers. Gerard watched him go and patiently waited for the brisk autumn breeze to cool his coffee and touch its flavor with oak wood and pine.
“SHOVE ASIDE! COMING THROUGH!” shouted a voice through the hundred other voices. “MOVE IT OR LOSE IT, LADY!”
Gerard set down his cup and observed as a mare with a very colorful mane shoved, punched, head-butted, and otherwise smashed her way through the crowd. The other ponies did not take kindly.
“Hey, watch it!”
“You watch it!”
“What’s your problem, manebrain?”
“Slowpokes keep getting in my way, that’s what!”
“OW! You poked me right in the eye, you jerk!”
“Relax, you’ve got another one.”
The mare continued to beat through the folds of irascible pegasus ponies until finally she squeezed between two stallions and came spilling out of the crowd. Her balance offset, the young pony stumbled forward and rammed sidewise into Gerard’s table, sending his coffee flying.
Gerard reacted. In one fluid sweep of his talon, he snatched the flying coffee cup out of the air and used it to scoop up the steaming, black liquid spilling out before it had a chance to spoil itself on the ground. He balanced the cup securely in his grasp and smiled politely as the young mare righted herself to greet him.
“ehuff Gerard huhff huhff Goldenwings,” she panted, her eyes wide like a filly’s.
“An honor, my dear,” Gerard said, inclining his head slightly. He couldn’t help but notice the peculiar device she had tucked under her left foreleg. “And I think I may know you as well. You’re… Rainbow Dash, correct? The pony who won Cloudsdale’s young flier’s competition last year?”
Rainbow Dash looked up at him, mouth slightly agape. “You– You know my–EEEEEEE!” Dash bit down on the squeal and coughed a few times. “Uh, I mean yeah, that’s me! Guess I shouldn’t be surprised you’ve heard of me; I am pretty amazing.” She cast a slanted smile at the other pegasi around her.
“You are at that...” Gerard observed. “I was indeed amazed to hear that a pony could win after such a… less than amazing beginning. That last trick must have been quite something.”
Dash’s chest puffed out. “Only if you consider flying so fast that you shatter both the sound and light barriers ‘something!’” she said.
Gerard smirked and playfully mimicked her enthusiasm. “Ah yes, noise, speed, and pretty colors. Who could have ever thought to combine such things?”
That got her positively glowing. “Well, I am kind of a natural. You know I didn’t even do it on purpose the first couple times?”
Gerard gasped. “You mean that all of that was just an accident? Truly, you are more than just a great flier, my dear, you are an artist! No, a genius!”
“Aw shucks…” Rainbow Dash looked down and pawed at the ground. “Yeah, I guess I am.”
“But of course you are!” Gerard enthused. “Six whole colors! Not three or four or even five, but six entire colors! I did not know there could be so many, let alone all at once.”
Some of the surrounding pegasi began to snicker.
“Um, thanks?” Dash said. “But don’t they have rainbows where you come from?”
Gerard laughed then, a warm and generous sound that filled the air like wedding bells. “Yes, but none quite like you, my dear. So what is that you have tucked away?” he asked, pointing to the strange device.
“Oh, this!” She took the delicate instrument and slammed it down on the table. “This is an ano… an animo… a machine that tells you how strong your wingpower is. I thought it could help save you some time deciding which pony you want as your apprentice.”
“Apprentice? I see,” Gerard said, studying the anemometer’s spinning rotors. “I really do wish sometimes that my prospective students would consult me before deciding how I will be spending my vacations.”
“Uh huh. So, how about I go set this bad boy up and we begin testing?” Dash said, wings flaring.
“Alas, I am afraid I am in no condition to be teaching you ponies anything about flying today.”
“What?” The storm went out of the pegasus ponies. Hooves touched down to earth, wings folded, and the roaring thunder of voices dissolved into mere breath going in and out. The sun shone unobstructed and the birds’ lyrical calls poked through the awful silence.
Gerard cleared his throat and addressed the pegasi. “For you see, my beloved pet, Ferris, has escaped recently, and I am far too distraught to turn my mind towards much else. How can I even think of flying when my little companion is off scared and alone in your savage Equestrian wilderness? Oh the horror of it all!” He took a sip of his coffee; it had cooled sufficiently.
The pegasi began to murmur and converse amongst themselves at this new turn of events.
“You’re really torn up about this, huh?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“I’m devastated,” Gerard said, dappling his beak with a napkin. “If only someone, mayhap somepony, were able to find him, I would be most grateful.”
“Grateful enough to teach that pony some tricks?” Dash asked.
Gerard smirked. “Perhaps.”
“What is Ferris?” a voice from the crowd asked. “We can find him for you.”
“Do you think so? Oh, I could not even allow myself to hope,” Gerard said. “Ferris is a golden sparrow not native to these lands, quite a handsome creature, I think you will find. Do not make the mistake of assuming that his striking features are all that there is to him, however; he is very nimble, and quite quick. Terrified as he must be in this new land, Ferris will undoubtedly flee from any attempt to chase after him, and I do not think that even you young, fleetwinged pegasi will be able to catch him.”
A black stallion stepped forward and stamped his hoof to the ground. “Don’t worry, Gerard. I’ll catch that sparrow for you.”
A light purple mare with a white mane nearby gave the stallion a cockeyed look. “Please, Thunderlane. The only thing I’ve ever seen you catch is the feather flu,” she said.
Rainbow Dash laughed at them both. “This coming from a pony named ‘Cloudchaser?’ Yeah, I bet keeping up with those pesky cumuli sure must beat it out of you after a while, huh? Just look at that one go!” She pointed upwards at a puffy white cloud drifting lazily overhead.
One by one, the pegasi all began to chip into the argument.
“I will catch the golden sparrow!”
“No, I will!”
“Ah, but you see–” Gerard began.
“No, I’ll be the one to catch the sparrow.”
“That sparrow’s mine!”
“Unfortunately–” Gerard started.
“I’ll catch the sparrow.”
“I’m so good I’ll catch two sparrows before the rest of you can even bag one!”
Gerard politely waited for a break in the conversation, but the bickering ponies showed no signs of slowing.
“AHEM!” Gerard interjected, his voice half a lion’s roar. The pegasi fell silent, and all eyes turned towards him.
“But alas, my friends, before any one of you can catch my little comrade, you will have to find him,” Gerard said. “And what are the chances of that with all this vast countryside to–but wait, what is this?” Gerard swept his gaze up, head feathers swishing dramatically behind. “Is that a glint of gold I see in the distance?” He pointed his talon, and the pegasi followed it to see something shimmering brightly over nearby Sugarcube Corner. At first it seemed no more than a lance of morning light, but the erratic flying pattern with which it moved betrayed it for a living thing, an avian thing.
The pegasi looked away from the bird and exchanged quick glances with one another. Eyes began narrowing into glares and lips began curling into ferocious grins. As one, they spread their wings and propelled up and after the sparrow, knocking over a few tables and chairs and sweeping up some fallen leaves with the winds of their composite takeoff.
Gerard grabbed his scarf to keep it from flying off and watched as the pegasi went chasing after the little, golden glint now darting off and away. A low, rumbling sound came from deep down in his chest—a chuckle—and he noticed that the rotors of the anemometer had been sent spinning. Gerard examined the device with great interest and took another drink of his morning coffee.
By midmorning, Ponyville’s market was at full bustle with stalls of harvest goodness stocked and open for business. There were strawberries and sweet corn, cucumbers, parsnips, pickled beets, and parsley. There was a warty, yellow stallion selling warty, yellow squash, and outside Sugarcube Corner, the Cakes’ stall groaned under the weight of pies, muffins, cheese breads, bagels, and scones studded with raisins and walnuts. The sound of haggling was constant, but the rains had been kind, so it was all good-tempered enough. Well, mostly; a sweet, old grandmother who had come to the market to sell her knitting found herself moderating a small but violent bidding war over her last pumpkin stamped quilt.
Standing at a stall overflowing with fresh apples of red and green, whistling a few bars from some old country diddy was Applejack. Applejack loved market day; there was nothing quite so satisfying as watching the fruit of her hard work going to feed the families of her friends and neighbors… and the bits were pretty nice, too. Applejack saw a thin, little stick of a pegasus colt come trotting through the marketplace, his yellow backpack bouncing as he half-galloped, half-fluttered down the path towards the schoolhouse. He seemed familiar, and Applejack thought she might have seen him hanging around Apple Bloom and her friends a time or two. The colt paused at her stall and took a whiff of the fruit’s pleasant aroma.
“Morning there, kiddo! You hungry?” Applejack asked. “Have an apple. They’ll help you become a big, strong flier.”
The colt looked up at her. “Think so?”
“Know so! My one friend eats these apples all the time, and she’s the best flier I know, heck, probably one of the best in Equestria.”
He cocked his head and squinted. “Hmm, you mean it?”
Applejack opened her mouth to answer, but stopped dead as she saw what must have been a few dozen pegasi come rounding hard out of an alleyway and down towards the market. Applejack squinted to see what had them in such a rush, but all she could make out was a tiny, shimmering blur of gold leading them on. It took them over the rooftops, lacing through rain gutters and around chimneys, before dropping down to knot around the buildings and stalls. The golden thing went soaring over the market and made a sharp turn that caused nearly a third of the pegasi trailing it to spin out in the attempt to follow. They recovered from where they had crashed into roofs and treetops, grunting and shaking their heads, and went chasing off after the others.
When the flock came by for a second pass over the market, Applejack noticed at the head was none other than Rainbow Dash, teeth gritted and nostrils flared. Dash was perpetually catching up to the mysterious golden thing, but every time her hooves came close to nabbing it, her quarry would lose her by making another tight turn or flying through a squeeze that Dash would have to detour around.
Applejack watched Dash and the other pegasi fly up, up, up, and then slip into a steep nose dive after the golden blur. Dash was getting closer… closer… closer… but so was the ground. She was less than a hoof’s length away from the gold thing when it flipped, passed right through Dash’s outstretched forelegs, and escaped by flying under her. Dash began to turn after it, but she was too close to the earth to stop all the momentum she had built. Applejack winced as Rainbow Dash bowled straight into Golden Harvest’s stall. A dull thud resonated as the stand collapsed and sent carrots flying everywhere. The other pegasi behind her had enough space to avoid the same fate and went tearing after the golden blur as it whizzed off towards the country.
“Uh… tell you what, kid.” Applejack took a green apple and popped it into the colt’s mouth. “On the house.” She left the young pegasus happily chewing and trotted over to her disheveled friend.
“Sparrow,” Rainbow Dash groaned, shaking a carrot out of her ear. She got slowly to her hooves and gazed dazedly at Applejack. Then her eyes suddenly snapped back to awareness.
“SPARROW!” she said, spreading her wings and taking to the air.
“Hold on there, sugarcube!” Applejack leaped and bit onto Dash’s tail to keep her from zipping off. She tasted sawdust and plaster in the hair, and Applejack could have sworn there was even a hint of powdered cement; Golden Harvest’s stall must not have been first thing Dash had crashed into today.
“Let go, Applejack! I gotta catch him before the others do!” Dash tried to pull away, but AJ planted her hooves and held fast.
“Keep this up and the only thing you’re gonna catch is another trip to the hospital,” Applejack mumbled through her clenched teeth. “Now just set down a minute and tell me what’s going on.”
“No time to explain,” Dash grunted, fighting against her anchor. “I need to catch that sparrow!”
“Sparrow?” Applejack said. “So that thing you were chasing was some kinda bird?”
“Well he sure wasn’t a fish! I need to catch him so I can get flying lessons from Gerard Goldenwings.”
“Gera-what now?” Applejack asked. Then she remembered the strange newcomer she’d glimpsed early that morning when she was carting into town. “Oh, you mean that griffin fella with the funny-lookin’ scarf?”
“No!” Rainbow Dash gave up the fight and landed. Applejack cautiously released her tail, but slipped a hoof over it just in case. “I mean Gerard Goldenwings, one of the greatest flight masters the world has ever known! He told us a couple hours ago that he would give flying lessons to whoever caught his bird, so–”
“Hold up a minute,” Applejack said. “Are you telling me that you’ve been chasing that little fella all morning, and you still haven’t caught him?”
Dash scowled and turned away.
“Hahahaha!” Applejack couldn't help herself. “Well shoot, Rainbow! I never thought I’d live to see the day they found a critter that could outfly you! What’s wrong, you finally startin’ to slow down on me, old girl?”
“Of course not!” Dash snapped, a very faint shade of pink blooming under the blue of her cheeks. “I’m faster than ever! That bird wouldn’t stand a chance against me in an open stretch! I’m sure of it! It’s just… you know… he’s got all these fancy tricks and maneuvers…”
“Right, right, I get it.” Applejack managed to reign in her laughter, but she still had a lopsided smirk. “You’re not slow, you were just outsmarted by a bird.”
“Yea! Wait wha-? no... what I... no... you...” she mouthed a few more indignant squeaks and syllables that grew in pitch and volume until she finally overloaded with a frustrated snort.
Applejack burst into another bout of laughter at that and gave Dash a pat on the shoulder. “Oh, don’t feel bad, Rainbow, I do get it. Critter-corrallin’ can be pretty tough for the uninitiated. But hey, listen up: promise me you won't go pulling any more dangerous stunts, and maybe I can give you a few tips.”
Dash had a sour expression, but it evaporated as her eyes lit up with a devilish gleam. “I’ve got a better idea! Why don’t you help me catch him? There’s no way that sparrow will stand any chance against Ponyville’s two greatest athletes!”
Applejack crossed her hooves. “You know I ain’t gonna help you cheat, Dash.”
“Cheat? Who said this was a contest?”
“What else would you call a bunch of ponies racing against each other for a prize?”
“No no no no no no no,” Dash said sweetly; much, much too sweetly. “We’re not racing, we’re just helping Gerard get his pet back. It’s not like this is some secret test or something silly like that.”
Applejack arched an eyebrow.
“Here, just come on. I’ll explain on the way,” Dash said as she began to push a reluctant Applejack along.
“Hey!” a voice shouted after them. The pair turned to see Golden Harvest galloping over to where she had left her stall. She stomped about the wreckage, jaw grinding open and shut and orange mane bouncing.
“What the– how did–” she stuttered, hooves tripping over scattered carrots. “AND WHO’S GOING TO PAY FOR THIS?!” She turned on the two nearest ponies she could find, Applejack and Rainbow Dash, the latter of whom still had some carrot leaves tangled in her mane.
Rainbow Dash and Applejack exchanged looks.
“Uh…”
“Excuse me, madame.” The three looked and saw none other than Gerard Goldenwings walking through the market, a basket tucked under one of his powerful wings. Dash gasped and started wordlessly poking Applejack and pointing at him.
“I see him, sugarcube,” Applejack said, taking a step away from her.
Golden Harvest gaped at the big creature approaching and instinctively shied back when he took a sweeping bow before her. “I am so sorry about your stall. My friend was only doing me a favor when she crashed into it, so I believe the fault is mine.”
“He called me his friend!” Rainbow Dash squeaked. Applejack suppressed a groan.
“Allow me to recompense you your damages.” Gerard unfolded his left wing and took his basket. Rainbow Dash shuttered to see the burgundy and gold feathers spread and gleaming in the sun. “Will three hundred bits cover it?” Gerard asked, pulling a fat purse from the basket.
Golden Harvest’s eyes darted between the fearsome griffin and his money as she tried to find her words. “Oh no, that’s much too much,” she stammered.
“Nonsense, you work hard.” Gerard placed the purse in her hoof and gathered up some of the scattered carrots into his wicker basket. He kept one to snack on and began to walk away to tour the rest of the market.
“Ferris is quite elusive, eh Rainbow Dash?” Gerard snapped a bite out of the carrot as he strode smoothly past her and Applejack. “Are you sure you can catch him?”
“Oh, I’ll get him, sir. Don’t you worry.” Dash brought hoof to forehead in salute. Once Gerard was out of earshot, she turned to Applejack and said, “Alright come on, let’s go.”
Applejack planted her flank down. “Well ain’t you something else, Rainbow? That griffin goes out of his way to save your rump, and you go and thank him by cheating at his contest.”
“It’s NOT a contest!” Dash cried. “Me and those other ponies are just trying to help out Gerard. Just because the winner—uh, I mean the best helper—gets to learn some awesome new flight tricks doesn’t make it a contest.”
Applejack gazed at her in silence.
“Look, he didn’t say it was a contest so it isn’t one, okay?” Dash said. “Now are you going to help me or not?”
“Still seems kinda fishy…”
Rainbow Dash looked ready to argue further, but instead she just sighed. “Alright, fine, I get it,” she said. “You know, Applejack, if you don’t think you can do it, you can just say so.”
“Beg your pardon?”
“I know the real reason you won’t help,” Dash said. “You don’t think you can do it, do you?”
“Don’t be silly, of course I-”
“No, stop. I won’t make you lie to me anymore, Applejack. Just remember what we told you outside Dodge Junction, okay? You’re still our friend even if you aren’t any good at the rodeo stuff.” Rainbow Dash began to slowly march away. She turned to glance expectantly back at Applejack every few steps.
Applejack narrowed her green eyes. She knew she was getting baited, but she didn’t care. “You want your bird, you’re gonna get your bird.” Applejack spat and pulled her hat down tight over her head. “That sparrow might’ve been able to outpace you, but there ain’t never gonna be no critter that can outfly my rope. Now come on.”
…
Applejack lay in wait in a meadow just outside of Ponyville, her rope held taut between hooves and jaw. On its face, the plan was very simple: Rainbow Dash would chase the sparrow out this way and herd him down towards AJ on the ground. When the bird was in range, Applejack would snag him with her lasso. She wasn't sure how all the other pegasi were going to factor in however, and any plan involving Dash meant you were playing with a deck packing at least a few wild cards.
Just as Applejack began to suspect Rainbow might have hit a snag, she heard the rustle of flapping wings coming from behind. She looked back, and sure enough, the flock of pegasi with a fleck of gold at their nose came flying towards her. As they drew close, AJ could begin to actually make out some of the bird’s features like the shape of his body and his beak, but the wings remained a shimmering, golden blur. Applejack began to gallop as she worked her rope into a spinning lasso.
Rainbow Dash let another pegasus take the lead following directly behind the sparrow while she maneuvered herself to bear down on him from above. Rainbow Dash looked down and caught Applejack’s eye, and the two nodded at each other. Rainbow Dash began to descend, forcing the sparrow to fly down as well.
“Closer, closer,” Applejack muttered, waiting for the right moment. Finally when the bird was perfectly in line, she sent the rope flying. The sparrow dove, and the lasso’s knot caught only air before falling limply to the ground.
“What’s that earth pony doing?” one of the pegasi called out. “Is… Is she trying to catch the sparrow?”
“Hey down there, are you nuts? Leave Gerard’s reward for somepony who isn’t married to the dirt.”
“Yeah, isn’t there a plough somewhere that needs pulling? Get outta here.”
Applejack ignored them, already readying her lasso for another shot at the bird. She released again, and this time the sparrow managed to playfully loop through and around the enclosing snare twice before gracefully escaping its grasp. Applejack jerked the rope back and worked it into another lasso. Third time’s a charm.
“Bug off!” One of the pegasi dropped out of the flock and skidded his legs across the earth, kicking up a cloud of dust to obscure Applejack’s vision. He was too late, however, as Applejack had already released the rope and set it on its trajectory. The lasso disappeared into the dust cloud and pulled tight around something.
“Ha!” Applejack barked in triumph and dug her hooves into the ground. The force behind the rope almost threatened to pull her along, but she held steady. As the dust began to clear, however, Applejack saw the flock of pegasi racing off westward with the golden fleck still leading them on.
“Shoot!” Applejack said. She was sure she had it there! But if the sparrow escaped, then...
AJ’s eyes followed her rope up into a nearby tree where it was bound around an upside down Rainbow Dash’s midsection, her limbs spread and held at awkward angles by the branches. Applejack took off her hat and covered her muzzle.
“There ain’t never gonna be no critter that can outfly my rope,” Rainbow Dash mocked in a bad country accent. She struggled to get free of the branches, but they had her bound up tight.
“Yeah, looks like I might’ve been wrong about that.” Applejack walked over to the base of the tree and gave it a good, solid buck.
“Ahhhhhhh!” Dash fell from the tree in a mockery of her usual aerial grace and hit the ground with an oompf.
“Guess it can still outfly you, though,” Applejack said as she undid the knot around Rainbow Dash. Dash gave herself a shake when she was free, ridding herself of the twigs and leaves stuck in her coat and mane.
“That thing’s too quick, Rainbow Dash,” AJ said, coiling the rope around her foreleg. “I’ve never seen anything move like that before, and I don’t think he’s even taking this whole thing seriously. He’s just playing with you. There’s no way anypony’s gonna catch that bird, let alone keep hold of him.”
“No!” Rainbow Dash said, grinding her hoof in the dirt. “I just need to try harder!” She spread her wings and flew off after the others.
Applejack frowned after her friend. “Best of luck, sugarcube,” she said and started back to her stand in the marketplace.
It was a little past noon, and Twilight was finally returning the last of the books to their proper places. She used her magic to slip the final tome, a fat one that sprayed dust when you touched it, back into its home. “The Complete Works of Immanuel Kolt goes right here after Stringy Jute’s Meditations, and that’s it for philosophy.” Twilight fell to her haunches and sighed at the sight of her restored library.
“Alright, I finished putting all your chemistry stuff back,” Spike grumbled as he climbed down from the loft. “Was there anything else you needed, Twilight?”
“No, Spike, I think that’s everything,” Twilight said. “You can go make yourself lunch now if you want.”
“Alright!” Spike waddled across the room and tripped through the doorway into the kitchen. There came a clanging of mixing bowls and a clinking of gemstones.
Twilight began to laugh softly for his enthusiasm, but the laugh turned into a yawn before it was finished. Twilight had been awake now for over thirty hours, and it was time for a much needed and well-deserved rest. She began to droop towards her bed, but then A History of Saddle Arabia snagged her eye from where she had left it on her writing desk. For a moment, the ornate calligraphy on its cover had transformed into sandy dunes full of ancient secrets and enigmatic sheikhs running across the moonlit desert. Twilight bit her lip.
“I’m just going to finish the chapter I was on, and that’s it,” Twilight told herself as she trotted over to her desk. She opened the book and quickly found the spot where she had left off, but before Twilight could get into it, her attention was grabbed by a little golden bird flying through the open window. She watched as the jittery creature nervously darted around the room before he went dashing out the open window opposite the one he had entered through. Twilight shrugged and settled back into her book.
There was no warning; a sudden blow, the beating of wings, and the library was already half destroyed. Pegasus after pegasus had struck through the window, and more were squeezing in after them. Soon there were dozens of them whirling about the library, and wherever they went, destruction followed.
“Did he really come in here? I can’t see him.”
Glass smashed. Wood groaned.
“Of course he did, stupid! He must be hiding.”
Stone cracked. Paper pulverized.
“Somepony come help me tip this thing over.”
They knocked down bookcases. They bashed open trunks. They ruffled the curtains. Twilight and Spike’s hours of hard work undone in mere seconds.
“AH!” Twilight bolted up. Magic surged through her, and sparks shot from her horn as she screamed. “GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT!” Fiery purple auras began engulfing the pegasi and purging them out through both open windows. Before the intruders could even spare a glance to find where the screaming was coming from, they found themselves spirited back outside in the warmth of the noontime sun.
“OUT, OUT, OUT, OUT–”
“Twilight, stop! It’s me!”
Twilight looked up to see Rainbow Dash suspended in shimmering purple. Dash cracked a smile.
“Twilight!” Spike ran out of the kitchen, heart apron donned like armor and wooden mixing spoon held en garde. “Is everything–” He took in the newly disheveled library and threw the spoon to the ground. “Oh, come on!”
“It’s okay, Spike,” Twilight said. Thanks to her quick reaction, the library wasn’t in quite so bad a shape as it had been when Rainbow trashed it that morning. “You can go back and finish making your meal. I’ll take care of everything in here.”
Spike nodded. He shot a dirty glare at the suspended Rainbow Dash before turning back for the kitchen.
“Sheesh, what’s got his tail tied in a knot?” Dash said, waving him away with a purple-tinted hoof. “So, uh, you wanna let me down?”
“...”
“Uh, Twilight?”
“I’m thinking about it,” Twilight said. After a few long seconds, the aura around Dash finally dissipated into air and dropped her. Twilight used her magic to shut both windows and lock them before coming over to Rainbow.
“So, would you mind telling me why you pegasus ponies have been so intent on destroying my library today?”
“Heh heh, sorry about that, Twilight,” Rainbow Dash said. “See, Gerard has us chasing this golden sparrow of his—he’s gonna give lessons to the one who catches him—and we thought he came through here.”
“Glad to hear that you were able to put the anemometer that you ruined my library the first time for to–” Twilight stopped mid-snark and her ears pricked up. “Did-did you say golden sparrow? Do you mean to tell me that that little bird that passed through here was a golden sparrow? A real golden sparrow?”
“No, he was only a fake golden sparrow, a brass sparrow.” Dash rolled her eyes. “But hey, so he did pass through here? Which way’d he go?”
Twilight grabbed her by the face. “Rainbow Dash, this is important, so I need you to listen very, very carefully,” she said, eyeball to eyeball with her. “Did this sparrow have auburn stripes below his tail feathers?”
Twilight's words smelled like coffee and mint leaves. Rainbow Dash tried to nudge back from her, but Twilight was clamped on. “Uh yeah, reddish stripes, I think he had four,” Dash said. “I should know, been staring at his butt all morning.”
Twilight released Rainbow and galloped over to where she left her book of Saddle Arabian history. She flipped through to the spot she wanted, ran back to Rainbow Dash, and clocked her square in the muzzle with page 216. As Dash’s vision refocused, she found herself staring at a large illustration of a golden sparrow done in a peculiar foreign style. Twilight peeked over the top of the book at her with a big, silly grin.
“Passer euchlorus, or the Arabian Golden Sparrow as it’s better known to layponies, occupies a very important place in the history and culture of Saddle Arabia,” Twilight lectured. “Legend has it they are descended from the rays of the first sunrise, and they embody both vitality and intelligence. Their feathers are revered as a symbol of wisdom, and it’s said that if you capture and cage one, you can force it to grant you eternal youth. They say that Hashala, the first caliph to unify all of Saddle Arabia, went into the desert to catch a golden sparrow so that he could reign forever. He had already caught the snake and the monkey in order to learn–”
Dash stared.
Twilight coughed and cleared her throat. “I, uh, read about it in my book,” she said. “I thought it was interesting.”
“Yeah, I guess that’s cool and all, Twi, but if that bird isn’t here anymore, then I really need to get.” Dash began to walk towards the library door, but then paused. “Hey Twilight, your book wouldn’t happen to have any tips about actually catching the sparrow now, would it?”
“Well, no,” Twilight said. “This book only mentions the sparrow as it relates to Saddle Arabian history and lore.”
Dash sighed. “Oh. Well, guess I’ll see you–”
“Now if you’re looking for information to help you actually capture the sparrow, you really need to check the zoology section,” Twilight piped as she trotted over to one of the many bookshelves. She gave a cursory glance at the tomes and pulled one out from towards the bottom right. “Here we are, Saddle Arabian Zoology.” Dash rushed over and smiled when she saw Twilight opened to a page full of sketches and notes on the sparrow. “And here is the section for Passer euchlorus: diet, environment, natural predators, nesting habits, mating rituals... it’s all right here.”
Rainbow Dash grinned at the meticulous script surrounding the illustrations. “That’s great, Twilight! With you and that book’s help, we’ll catch birdbrain and Gerard will be teaching me his Reverse Half Eight in no time!”
“Oh Dash, I can’t. I have to clean up the library… again… and after that I really need to get to sleep,” Twilight said. “I can lend you the book though, if you want,” she added when Rainbow started to make a face.
“Yeah, but can you lend me your big, freaky science brain to make sense of all the formulas and vectors and whatever in the book?” Dash asked.
“It’s biology...”
“Yeah exactly, science! You’re a wiz with that stuff!” Dash shrunk down before Twilight and put her front hooves together in supplication. “PLLLLLEASE Twilight, I really need your help.”
“Dash,” Twilight groaned. “I got stuck up all night reading that book about Saddle Arabia, and I’ve spent all morning cleaning up after you. I really need to get some sleep!”
“Oh yeah, reading about Saddle Arabia?” Dash asked, getting to her hooves. “Well guess what, Twilight, a little piece of Saddle Arabia is flying around Ponyville right now, and you’ve got the chance to live the story instead of just reading about it. Which would you rather do: catch up on a few z’s or follow in the hoofsteps of Caliph Asha-Lasha-Ha and catch a living, breathing legend?”
“Well, Hashala never actually caught the sparrow...” Twilight said.
“Great! Then we can be even BETTER than Hasha-La-Sha-Ha. Come on, what do you say?”
Twilight chewed her lip as all the great Saddle Arabian sayings concerning the sparrow came rushing back to her, all the sages, sheikhs, and poets waxing eloquently about the noble, little creature. When would she get another chance like this to match her wits against the swift and cunning sparrow of legend? And what if she did what all those wise sages, sheikhs, and poets never could and actually caught the sparrow? Finally she broke.
“Spike,” she called. “Get me my pith helmet!” Twilight smiled and extended a hoof to Rainbow Dash.
“Aw yeah!” There was a resounding, hollow clop as Rainbow Dash met Twilight with a hoofbump.
Spike’s head popped out of the kitchen a moment later. “Your what?”
“You know, my safari hat.”
“Oh, okay.”
…
Rainbow Dash was sitting on one of Ponyville’s highest rooftops from where she could survey the entire town. Seated next to her was Tank, the rotors on his shell spinning lightly in the breeze. She had a can about the size of a watermelon squeezed between her legs, marked with scratches and dents across its length.
Dash grunted as she tried to pierce the lid with a screwdriver. “Come on, come on.” She bit and twisted at the top of the can, but that only hurt her teeth, so she went back to the screwdriver. Tank watched his master’s antics, his vigil punctuated only by the occasional blink.
“Ugh, finally!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed when she managed to jam the screwdriver into the can’s top. She pried off the lid to reveal a smooth golden substance.
Rainbow Dash peeked over the roof’s edge to make sure the other pegasi were still around. She spied them tearing down a street, still hopelessly pursuing Gerard’s sparrow. Occasionally they would fly close enough for Rainbow Dash to feel the breeze off their wings, but they never once took notice of her or what she was doing.
“Hold your breath, buddy.”
Tank pressed his wrinkled lips together as Dash upended the bucket of paint over him. A deluge of viscous gold engulfed the tortoise and soaked into the thatched roof. Dash tossed the bucket aside once it was empty and studied her hoofwork. Tank’s green shell had been successfully gilded and now mimicked the sparrow’s colors almost perfectly. A fat dollop of paint wobbled back and forth from his chin as Tank slowly shook his head, trying to get himself dry.
Dash smiled and wiped away the droplet with her hoof. “Hey, that’s a pretty good look for you. Maybe we’ll leave that paint on for a while after this is all over, huh?”
Tank blinked.
Dash giggled and nuzzled him, the contact staining the tip of her nose gold. “Now we just have to wait for the right moment.”
It came sooner than expected. The pegasi were hard on the sparrow’s tail when he disappeared into a drain pipe far too small for them to follow. The ponies tracked down the pipe’s length to find where it let out, but soon were forced to a halt when it went underground.
“Where’d he go?” asked a straggler when he caught up with the pegasi hovering around the pipe.
“Looks like this is it,” Rainbow Dash said, picking up Tank and taking flight. “Remember, keep them away from Ponyville for as long as you can. Good luck!”
Rainbow Dash wound back and hurled Tank as hard as she could out towards the countryside. The mechanical rotors that gave the tortoise the power of flight began spinning, and he was off.
“HEY, EVERYPONY! LOOK!” Dash shouted. The crowd of pegasi craned their necks towards the voice and followed her outstretched hoof to the glint of gold rapidly receding into the distance. “HE’S GETTING AWAY!”
The pegasi tore off after the sparrow’s doppelganger and were soon no more than specks on the horizon. Rainbow Dash chuckled as she glided down to street level. She touched down in an alleyway where she found Twilight tinkering with her… monstrosity.
Twilight had set up a vast array of ropes, pulleys, and gears twisting around and about a junction between two intersecting alleyways. Metal and wire glinted menacingly, and the tautness of the rope suggested tension that could choke a full-grown dragon. Rainbow Dash didn’t even bother trying to trace the intricate web of zigzagging lines from start to finish.
Twilight walked over to the trap’s trigger at the heart of the junction, a bowl balanced upon a weight-activated mechanism, and began to very slowly and very carefully pour a box of birdseed into it.
“Alright, Twi, mission accomplished!” Dash called as she galloped over. “Tank should keep those posers busy for a while!”
Twilight jolted at the intrusion and stopped Rainbow Dash cold in her tracks with a death glare. She poured a little more of the seed into the trap and slowly backed away. She took Rainbow, and the two went to hide behind some of the local camouflage: two trash cans behind somepony’s house.
“Alright then. Now we’ve tried speed, and we’ve tried skill,” Twilight whispered. “But what we haven’t tried yet is brains.”
Dash grumbled and crossed her forelegs. She had been really proud of her plan with Tank, too. “I’m not dumb…”
“No... of course not. You’re—” Twilight stifled a yawn. “You’re, you know... smart. In any case, that trap is set with Arabian millet, the sparrow’s favorite food. Once he lands on the bowl, he’ll be as good as caught.”
“I still don’t understand how that thing is supposed to work…” Rainbow Dash said, peering up at the terrifying web of gears and pulleys hanging about.
“It’s okay, Rainbow Dash, neither will the sparrow when he accidentally sets off the symphony of mechanical logic leading to his inevitable capture.” Twilight rubbed her hooves together with an almost diabolical savor. She yawned again, and Dash couldn’t help but notice the heavy bags under her eyes.
“Why don’t you just use your magic to capture the sparrow once he lands?”
“Oh Rainbow Dash, do you really expect such a pedestrian plan to succeed against such a cunning adversary?” Twilight asked. “My books say that Passer euchlorus is an incredibly dexterous and intelligent creature that will evade any direct attempts to capture him. So therefore we’ll just have to capture him indirectly! Don’t worry, my magic will come into play, but only when he least expects it.”
“Uh, okay...” Dash said.
“And now we wait,” Twilight said, putting up her binoculars. The full brunt of noon began to bear down upon them, and the heat wasn’t agreeing well with whatever was in those two trashcans. The two ponies lay in ambush behind the stinky garbage until Dash’s nose burned and her skin crawled. She started to get fidgety, but Twilight kept her binoculars ceaselessly trained upon the trap.
"Hey, uh, Twi...?” Dash whispered.
“Mm-hmm?”
“What's with the binoculars?”
“Hmm?”
“The bowl is like ten feet away...”
Twilight smiled wearily at Rainbow Dash and patted her on the head. “We’re on a safari, Rainbow Dash, and whoever heard of a pony going on safari without a pair of binoculars? You might as well ask me what my pith helmet is for.”
Dash said nothing.
The pair continued to wait. Bored, Dash was batting at a banana peel hanging out the side of her trash can when she caught a glint of gold from the corner of her eye. Dash elbowed Twilight and pointed as the sparrow entered the alleyway.
“THERE HE I–” Her proclamation was cut short when a magic aura wrapped around her muzzle and forced her jaw shut.
The sparrow flitted about, darting here and bobbing there to examine the shiny cogs and suspended lengths of rope. He began to draw towards the trap’s trigger. Dash’s heart was pounding through her chest as the sparrow came and hovered above the bowl. Finally he landed on the rim and began to peck at the seed.
The trigger depressed under the sparrow’s weight, and a number of buzzes and clicks sounded as the long, convoluted chain of cause and effect was activated. Rainbow Dash watched eagerly as the motion traveled up then down, across and around, side to side, left to right, north by northeast and then up and down once again. Wheels were turning, weights went dropping, ropes went whizzing, and gears were interlocking until...
CLACK
...suddenly the motion had ceased at one of the high pulleys.
Rainbow Dash looked from the pulley to the sparrow still picking at the seed, back to the pulley, and finally to Twilight next to her. “It stopped going. Why isn’t it going?!”
Twilight squinted up at the pulley. “Drat, one of the inner gears must be stuck. Quick, Rainbow Dash, fly up and fix whatever’s sticking it.”
“The bird is sitting right there,” Dash said through gritted teeth. “Why don’t you just use your magic force field?”
“Because that isn’t until step 17! Just go and unstick it.”
Dash muttered something under her breath and flew up to examine the malfunctioning pulley. The sparrow looked on curiously as she poked and prodded at the thing. Rainbow Dash peered inside the device and saw where the rope had gotten stuck on a sharp edge. She gripped her teeth around where the rope came out the other end and began tugging and jerking in an effort to free it. This only caused the rope to saw against the sharp edge which it had stuck itself on. It soon cut through, and the release of tension sent the rope whipping away with Rainbow Dash clenched onto the cracking end of it.
“WHOOOOOA!” Dash spat out the rope, but the angle at which she had spread her wings and stiffened her torso and legs to correct herself served to turn her body into an effective boomerang. The sparrow chewed his millet and watched as Rainbow Dash went sickle spinning around the alley.
Twilight yelped as Dash rounded about and bowled straight into the trash cans where she lay hiding. Milk cartons, eggshells, and week-old pasta sauced in spoiled mayonnaise rained down on the pair. The release of tension caused Twilight’s elaborate system of ropes and pulleys to come crashing down atop and around them. Levers snapped, gears flew like shurikens, and soon the entire alley junction—save for a rough circle hewn around the sparrow and his meal—was littered in debris. The sparrow took another bite or two before spreading his wings and flying off. Almost as an afterthought, a net fell down over the now-vacant bowl of seed.
Rainbow Dash dug her way out of the debris and squinted at where the sparrow had been.
“A net?” she asked. “A NET?!? Are you telling me that whole elaborate how-do-you-do was all to spring some stupid net?!?”
Garbage and gears magically lifted away as Twilight resurfaced. “It was…” she gasped, “a distraction tactic. The sparrow would be looking everywhere but up.”
Rainbow Dash flew over and picked up the flimsy, flaxen thing. “A net, that’s just great. I saw this intricate webbing up there and I thought, like, it would focus the sunlight into...” Dash examined the weaving “...bars for some kind of, I don’t know, sun prison or something. But no, just a net.” She threw it down with the rest of the garbage.
“It would have worked if it wasn’t for that simple calibration error. We just need–” Twilight paused to yawn yet again. “We just need to set it up and try again, that’s all. And I’ve got an idea to make it even more foolproof. I think this time we can work some rudimentary hypnosis into how the gears–”
“Ugh, just stop, Twilight,” Dash said, shaking off trash that still clung to her. “Look, it was a mistake making you come out here. Just go home and get some sleep before you start drawing up plans for a pulley-powered toothbrush or something.”
“But I... hmm...” Twilight rubbed a hoof under her chin. “That would certainly make life a little easier for you pegasi and earth ponies. The mechanics would be relatively simple, and I think maybe even a toothpaste dispenser could be–”
“NO!” Rainbow Dash roared. “Stop it! Go home!”
Twilight frowned. “But–but what about the sparrow?”
“What about the sparrow?” Dash spat and went ripping across the sky.
Outside of Ponyville and near the forest there was a grove, not part of Everfree but not quite domesticated either. The grove enjoyed the shade of old oak and maple trees, and at its center was a little rain-fed pond, alive with the play of afternoon light and shadows across its surface. The grove was always a beautiful place, but it was particularly stunning now that the green was gone and autumn’s reds and golds radiated. A maple leaf the color of burnished copper flew from the tree and went dancing on the breeze, waltzing with fireflies to the music of crickets and bullfrogs, before it gently alighted upon the pond’s surface. The leaf was then crushed under a boulder that came smashing into the pond after it.
The crickets and bullfrogs grew silent and were replaced by the grunts and moans of Rainbow Dash as she raged about the grove. Feathered and furry things peaked an eye out from their nests and watched bewildered as Dash raced about madly bucking at trees, kicking up swaths of earth, and airlifting great boulders into the sky only to let them come crashing down into the pond below.
Dash’s muscles tensed and popped as she began lifting a particularly big boulder. The weight of the thing was formidable, and her lift slowed and stopped about halfway up. “Sparrow,” Rainbow Dash growled as sweat stung at her eyes. Her rage flared in her like engine fire, and she slowly began to lift again.
“Um, R-Rainbow Dash?” a tiny voice said as Dash reached the summit of her climb. “W-what are you doing?”
Dash released. The boulder plummeted and sunk deeply into the water, and the surface exploded with a splash. She whipped around to see Fluttershy hovering behind her, wincing down at the pond.
“Throwing rocks,” Dash said. “Why, you got a problem with that?”
“Oh, no...” Fluttershy started sinking away, but something buoyed her back up. “I mean, well, it’s not me personally, but… it’s just that my beaver friends live in that pond and, um well, you’re kind of destroying their home…”
Rainbow Dash looked down and noticed floating across the surface of the pond were some twigs and packed mud, and sure enough, there on the shore were a half-dozen sleek brown mammals shaking their paws at her.
Fluttershy smiled apologetically. “So if you could please…”
“WHY THOSE LITTLE WATERLOGGED RODENTS!” Dash drew in her wings and shot like an arrow towards the family of beavers.
“Oh my.” Fluttershy glided down after her. She landed to find Rainbow Dash screaming in the face of the papa beaver while he and his family chittered wildly in response.
“THIS IS MY ROCK THROWING PLACE!” Dash’s voice cracked with exertion. “EVER SINCE I MOVED TO PONYVILLE, I’VE BEEN COMING HERE WHEN I JUST NEED TO CHUCK SOME ROCKS! WHAT MADE YOU THINK YOU COULD BUILD YOUR HOUSE HERE?!”
The papa beaver articulated something back at her.
“What’d he say?” Dash demanded of Fluttershy, who cowered between the two parties.
“Um, he says that you can go throw rocks anywhere.” Fluttershy was very careful to leave out the rest of what he had said.
“HE CAN BUILD HIS HOUSE ANYWHERE!” Dash said, and the yelling began afresh.
“Chitterchittersqueakchitter!”
“OH YEAH? WHY DON’T YOU MAKE ME?!”
“Squeakchitterchitterclick?!”
“WELL IT TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE, SWISHY!”
Fluttershy cringed at Rainbow Dash’s nonsensical ad-libs. “Do-do you need help understanding what–”
“I UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY’RE TRYING TO SAY JUST FINE!”
“Okay.”
The argument kept getting louder, fiercer, and more meaningless until finally Dash relented.
“Ugh, alright, fine,” she said. “You want the place? Great, it’s yours now. Good luck with the boulder in the living room!” She spread her wings and flew off.
Fluttershy muttered an apology to the beaver family and then went after her friend.
“Is—is everything alright, Rainbow Dash?” she asked upon catching up to her.
Dash turned on her. “Everything’s just fine, Fluttershy! Perfect! I was just rock bombing those beavers’ house for the fun of it.”
Fluttershy backed away, and her lip began to quiver.
Dash groaned and put up her hooves. “Oh, don’t cry. I’ve just been having a really bad day, alright? I thought I’d be doing spins and flips with Gerard Goldenwings right now, but everything’s gone wrong today. Applejack couldn’t help me, and Twilight’s gone insane, AND CELESTIA, I CAN’T STAND THAT FREAKING BIRD!” Just thinking about the golden twit raised Dash’s hackles.
“I’m sorry about that,” Fluttershy said. She cautiously drifted over and patted Dash on the shoulder. A quiet moment passed between them with only the sound of crickets to fill their ears.
“You know, my animal friends and I were having afternoon tea back at my house before the beavers, um, summoned me. Would… would you like to come back and join us? I’m sure they would love the company, and it might help you feel better,” Fluttershy said. “If you want to, I mean.”
Rainbow Dash smiled weakly and nodded. “Yeah, okay.” Being around Fluttershy did tend to chill Dash out, and she baked some pretty mean cinnamon cakes for those tea parties. The two flew southwest and talked for a little while about the weather, food, and what their friends were up to: stupid, little stuff, but it helped to cool Dash’s temper almost as much as a good rock throw did. They descended to the earth and began walking when they got close to Fluttershy’s cottage.
Rainbow Dash breathed deeply as they came up the path towards the door. “Look Fluttershy, if the beavers need help moving those rocks and stuff…”
“Oh, you don’t have to worry about it, Rainbow,” Fluttershy said. “I was just going to have Harry help them.”
“Oh, thanks,” said Dash. “How is that old bear?”
“He’s inside, why don’t you see for yourself?” Fluttershy opened the door to her cottage and led Dash in. They passed through the living room and into the kitchen where Fluttershy’s critter friends were seated. “I’ll just get you a cup,” Fluttershy said.
Dash noticed that there was quite a number of them there. There were squirrels and ducks, chipmunks and rabbits of all kinds. Dash smiled at big, brown Harry with his massive paws wrapped around a teacup, and Harry waved a pinkie claw at her. Yes, there sure were a lot of animals here. Dash’s eyes passed along a beaver, a pigeon, a chipmunk, a sparrow, a frog, an owl…
Dash blinked and looked back. Sure enough, sitting there as plain as day, was Gerard’s golden sparrow dipping his beak into a teacup big enough to bathe him.
The critters chirped, chittered, roared, and quacked as Rainbow Dash dove across the table. The sparrow ducked under her outstretched hooves and took to the air with Dash in hot pursuit. Fluttershy whimpered something and the animals continued to scream as Rainbow Dash chased the sparrow around the kitchen from chandelier to larder to stove. The sparrow escaped through a small rectangular window over the sink. Rainbow Dash tried to follow after him, but she only succeeded in managing to get herself stuck halfway through the narrow passage. She struggled furiously to free herself, backside wagging about for everyone to see. Finally she went limp when she realized her efforts were futile.
“Oh, not again,” she moaned, forced to watch as the sparrow vanished into the forest. “Applejack and Twilight are right: I am an idiot.”
“Rainbow Dash!” came Fluttershy’s voice from inside. “What in Equestria was that for?”
“That was the bird, Fluttershy!” Rainbow Dash called back.
“Do you mean that little Monsieur Ferris is what’s had you so angry today?”
“How did you—" the window frame dug into her ribs as she tried to turn. “Hey look, could you just get me out of here? This isn’t any more comfortable than it looks, you know.”
“Oh, sorry,” Fluttershy said. “Harry?”
A moment later, Dash felt a tug pull her through the window. She found herself back in the kitchen, suspended upside down by the tail in Harry’s grasp. Harry looked down at the pegasus pony hanging from his claw like a turnip plucked fresh from the garden. Dash saw there was tea spilled all over his front. She smiled sheepishly at him, but that didn’t keep Harry from unceremoniously dumping her to the ground.
“Ow... uh, thanks Harry.” Rainbow Dash got to her hooves and turned to Fluttershy. “How did you do it?”
“How did I do what?”
“Catch the bird!” Dash said. “Me and some of Equestria’s best fliers have been chasing after that little jerk all day, and we couldn’t catch him. What was your trick? Hypnosis? Ninja skills? Poison?”
“Oh no, none of that,” Fluttershy said. “I was just out near the forest when I spotted this lonely little yellow birdie, so I invited him to come join our tea party.”
“…And he didn’t fly away from you?”
Fluttershy shook her head no. “He was a little skittish at first, but he settled down.”
Dash studied the little mare closely. She had been chasing that bird all day long, and nopony had been able to get within ten feet without him tearing off like a bat out of Tartarus. “Come with me. I want you to show me how you were able to hunt down the beast.”
“Well, I didn’t really... hunt... him,”
“Whatever,” Dash said. “I want you to show me exactly what you were doing when you found him.”
“Oh… well, it does look like I have to gather more tea leaves,” Fluttershy said, looking back at the upended teacups that littered the kitchen and her disappointed critter friends.
“Great, come on, let’s go.” Dash started shoving Fluttershy out of her cottage. Fluttershy nabbed her wicker gathering basket just before she was pushed out the door.
…
Fluttershy hummed softly to herself as she examined the bushes for tea leaves by the edge of the forest. She did not normally like getting this close to the Everfree, but this late in the season, the only green leaves left were to be found near its outskirts.
“Um, Would you maybe like to help me gather tea leaves, Rainbow Dash?” Fluttershy asked. “Sometimes if you’re lucky, you’ll chance across a stray blackberry bush.”
Rainbow Dash brusquely paced back and forth along the forest edge, eyes scanning the tree tops. “Can’t, gotta keep looking.”
“Oh, okay.” Fluttershy said and returned to her picking.
Rainbow Dash was getting more and more anxious with every second. The day was coming into that rich hue of afternoon that precedes evening twilight, and there would be no chance of catching the bird once it had gotten dark out. “Alright Fluttershy, the sparrow’s not here,” Dash said. “Come on, let’s go check somewhere else.”
Fluttershy picked a sprig with her mouth and gently placed it in the wicker basket. “Um okay, if you think so, Rainbow Dash. I suppose we could get tea leaves from somewhere else, but what if Ferris comes here after we’ve left? Seems like we’ve got as much chance running into him here as anywhere else, and these are the best tea leaves, so um…”
Rainbow Dash groaned and sank down on her haunches. She was fidgeting restlessly and Fluttershy was back to searching for the choicest sprigs when the sparrow flew out of the forest and perched on an overlooking branch. Dash rolled over in the grass, and that’s when she caught sight of the sparrow. She sprang and galloped over to Fluttershy.
“Look!” she pointed him out.
Fluttershy glanced up. “Yes, that’s him alright. Hello, Monsieur Ferris.” She gently waved a hoof at the sparrow and went back to nosing through the tea leaves.
“Well, what are you waiting for?” Dash asked. “Go catch him.”
“I can’t,” Fluttershy said.
“...what?!”
“Well now, Rainbow Dash, if you couldn’t catch him, then what chance do you think I have?”
“But you had him at your cottage,” Dash said. “You said you’d show me how.”
“Yes.” Fluttershy went back to her tea leaves.
Rainbow Dash huffed and sank back down to the ground. She ground her teeth and pulverized the grass with her hooves, watching the sparrow watch Fluttershy gingerly pick through the tea plants. Time ticked by. About a quarter of an hour passed and the larks were starting to sing when Rainbow Dash noticed that Fluttershy had casually inched towards the tea plants directly below the sparrow. Dash’s heart began to drum when the sparrow took flight from his roost and flew down near to her.
Fluttershy looked up at the sparrow and smiled. She began to work her wings and slowly rose up to meet him. The sparrow’s flying got a little skittish, and he started to edge away as Fluttershy got close. Fluttershy stopped and hovered in place for a while, waiting for his nerves to settle. She then slowly eased upward again and offered out a hoof to him when she came in range. The sparrow examined it and then her for a moment before finally grasping his talons onto the outstretched foreleg.
Rainbow Dash’s jaw dropped so hard that it nearly broke off.
“I’m sorry about the tea party earlier,” Fluttershy cooed. “I didn’t know that you and one of my other friends had a history.”
“HOW’D YOU DO THAT?!” Rainbow Dash asked, bolting up to where Fluttershy gently floated. The sparrow took flight and retreated at Dash’s approach, putting a healthy distance between them.
Fluttershy brought Rainbow Dash close and put a hoof to her lips. “Shhhh.” She pointed to where the sparrow fluttered in tight, erratic loops. “Fast moves like that will just scare him. You have to be slow and gentle to show him you mean no harm. You have to show him you’re a friend, and then let him make the last move to you.”
“I don’t really do slow and gentle,” Rainbow Dash said.
“You will if you want to get Monsieur Ferris to come to you.”
Dash gulped and nodded. She began to ever so delicately inch towards the sparrow, trying her best to mimic what Fluttershy had done moments earlier.
“Remember, let him make the last move to you,” Fluttershy called softly after her.
The sparrow jittered as Dash came closer. One jerk, one unmeasured movement, and he would be off. Dash’s jaw tightened; the building tension from exercising so much restraint was an ache bordering on pain for her. Her body felt like a guitar string tightened to its snapping point and tightening with every inch closer she came to the sparrow.
“Uh, hey buddy,” Dash said. She began to slowly, ever so slowly, put out a hoof, trying her hardest to keep it from shaking. “Gerard really misses you. Want me to give you a ride back to him?”
The sparrow looked at her…
…and looked…
…and looked…
...but he came no closer.
Dash sighed and turned back towards Fluttershy. “I don’t think it’s working, Fluttershy. I don’t think he–” That was when she felt the poke of two tiny talons on her skin. Dash looked down and saw perched on her right shoulder and snuggling into her fur was the sparrow. He peeped up at her.
Dash felt lightning surge through her entire body, the same electric joy she felt crossing the finish line. She filled her lungs to whoop in victory, but then she saw Fluttershy shaking her head and pushing her hooves down.
Rainbow Dash breathed the air out slowly. “Yay.”
…
When the rays of the setting sun began to caress the world, Gerard Goldenwings decided to return to the little outdoor cafe he had taken his breakfast at. Gerard had had a lovely day touring the quaint Equestrian village free of the… distractions his celebrity usually brought him; he made a note to himself to buy a bag of that special seed Ferris enjoyed so much. At the cafe, Gerard found himself conversing in his native tongue with the waiter pony whose dexterity had impressed him earlier. He learned how his family had come to live in Grifrance all those years ago and why as a stallion he had decided to return to his native land. It was an arresting story.
As the waiter pony reached the end of his tale, Gerard noticed the form of a pegasus gliding towards them. His brilliant eyes revealed it to be none other than Rainbow Dash, the other pony who had made an impression on him that morning. And surprise of surprises, she had Ferris atop her shoulder.
“Pardonnez-moi, s'il vous plaît,” Gerard excused himself. Horte Cuisine bowed and took his leave as the pegasus landed and delicately hobbled over so as not to disturb Ferris’ perch. Gerard stretched out a talon and made a clicking sound with his tongue. Ferris departed from his nest of blue fur and landed upon his master’s claw.
“Well, hello there, my little friend,” Gerard said. “I trust you’ve had an interesting day.”
Ferris tweeted pleasantly in response.
Gerard gently ruffled the bird’s feathers before turning his attentions to Rainbow Dash. “Why thank you, my dear, although I must be honest: this I did not expect.”
“Yeah,” Dash said, looking between Gerard and his pet. “I was thinking about it on the way over: You didn’t expect anypony to catch him, did you?”
“No, because he can’t be caught,” Gerard said. “There are some, though, that he takes a liking to. It seems you’re one of them.”
“Thanks, but I can’t really take too much credit.” Dash kicked around a little dirt, her brow knit up in thought. “All I did all day was try everything I could to force my hooves on him. I chased him as fast as I could and tried every trick I could think of. When that didn’t work, I chased him even harder and tried borrowing some tricks from my friends. When that didn’t work, I kinda freaked out because that always works. I like to win, and I’m not used to giving something everything I’ve got and still... losing. Luckily, I have another old friend, a friend who’s good with animals. She’s the one who finally made me see that this was something I just couldn’t force.”
“Mm, perhaps I should be thanking this friend of yours instead,” Gerard mused. “Where is she, might I ask?”
“Probably serving crumpets to a bear,” Dash said, smirking. “She invited you and Ferris to come to dinner at her cottage some time, by the way.”
“Ah, a nice, quiet dinner in a country cottage, how lovely. Of course I accept, but please try not to tell any of your flier friends about it or else it may turn into a banquet,” Gerard said with a wink.
“Heh. You know, you could’ve just told us that you weren’t giving any lessons if you wanted to be left alone,” Dash said. “No need to send us off on a wild goose, er, sparrow chase.”
“Do you think? It’s my experience that those who come seeking my tutelage are extraordinarily bad at actually listening to me,” Gerard said. “Easier to just give them what they want: They come for lessons, and Ferris has quite a lesson of his own to teach.”
“What, is it that golden sparrows are really freaking hard to catch?” Dash asked.
“Something like that.” Gerard sat in silence for a little while, gently stroking Ferris’ head and enjoying the last of the afternoon. “Tell me, do you happen to know the story of Hashala and the golden sparrow?”
“Uh...” she shot a glance over at the town library. “a bit.”
“I’ll keep to the short version then,” Gerard said. “Hashala was the first great caliph. He was an incredible, young stallion: strong, brave, charismatic, and the fastest runner the world had ever known. It’s said that in his prime, he could run across the whole of the Saddle Arabian desert in the space of a night and a day, not having to stop once. Using these gifts, he conquered all his enemies and bound the whole country to his rule. At his coronation, flushed in glory and power, Hashala crowned himself the sun and moon of Saddle Arabia and told his new subjects that his reign would last forever. The applause was like thunder, but over it all rose the cackle of a foreign witch from the jungle who came forward to challenge Hashala’s claim.”
”Why’d he invite her?” Dash blurted out.
“Pardon?” Gerard said.
“The witch. Why did he invite a witch to his coronation party?” Dash asked. ”Kinda sounds like asking for trouble.”
“I don’t think he invited her.”
“Then why’d she show up?”
Gerard shrugged. “Free hors d’oeuvres? Anyway, she called him an idiot king all tongue, leg, and loin and told him his rule would not even last beyond the summer of his youth if he did not make a journey away from his capital into the desert wild to find some brains. There he would meet a snake, a monkey, and a golden sparrow, and from them he must take a fang, fur, and feather. ‘The fang, fur, and feather are wiles, wit, and wisdom,’ the witch said, ‘and you will need all three to be more than king of a season, summer’s king.’ Hashala laughed at all this and kindly informed the foreign witch that it’s always summer in the desert. He had her thrown out and resumed the celebration, but her words came back and bothered him that night and many nights after. He did not put much stock to his court’s rumors that the witch had come to prophesy, but what she said did sound to him like a challenge, and Hashala was not one to leave a challenge unanswered. One day, he went into the desert wild to attain the fang, fur, and feather, assuring his advisers that the errand would not take him more than a week. Perhaps he would have been right if it were just the fang and the fur. The snake and the monkey were not hard for him to catch, for he had already learned much of wiles and wit from his court, but wisdom, ah wisdom had managed to escape him. And so did the sparrow, again and again.”
Ferris rubbed his head against Gerard’s claw. Gerard ruffled his feathers again and resumed his narration.
“Hashala was proud and refused to be defeated by a little, yellow bird. He chased this sparrow across the desert for years, enlisting the help of many strange and wonderful beings and hatching ingenious scheme after ingenious scheme to catch her, but she always managed to escape. He’d probably still be chasing her to this day if Hashala had not come to notice something new and very disturbing about himself: He was getting slower. Just a bit, he was still the greatest runner in his country, but he could feel the leagues getting longer, and he had to stop to rest more often. One morning, he resolved to push himself through the desert in the space of a night and a day just to prove he still could, but by sunset he was forced to stop, to sleep, with the lone and level sands still stretching far away. As he made his camp, Hashala reflected bitterly on this and on the years he had squandered chasing the sparrow. As he drifted to sleep, he decided that the next day he would return to his capital. It would always be summer in the desert, but it would not always be in him, and he wanted to spend what was left of his summer meaningfully. The next morning, he awoke to find that a golden feather had been left for him atop his saddlebag.”
Gerard paused when he noticed that Dash was only half-listening. She was staring off past Gerard a thousand miles into the distance, the autumn breeze playing with the stray hairs and feathers hanging off her young body. Her gaze followed the breeze as it slipped over her and across the town, through fields and hills, up into the sky painted a masterpiece by the old sun, and finally northward, northward all the way to Canterlot.
“See what I mean about my students never listening?” Gerard asked Ferris softly, rumbling a little with his deep, low chuckle.
“Huh? Oh sorry, I’m still here,” Dash said. “Just thinking about a letter I probably need to write.” There was an uncharacteristically somber note to her voice, and she looked different from the pony Gerard had met that morning, smashing through the crowds and boasting about her Rainboom. At that late hour the colors of fall touched everything, and when Gerard looked at her now, he saw not a rainbow, but the red and orange of falling leaves, the gold of tall grain, the deep green of dying moss, the blue and violet influence of coming night.
“What happened next to Lasha-Ha, I mean to Hasha– What happened next to Caliph Hash?” Dash asked.
“Many years of adventure and fruitful rule,” Gerard said, “but I don’t think we have time for the full saga right now. There’s only a little daylight left, and I want to reward you for bringing my friend to me. Were there any maneuvers that you were hoping to see today, my dear?”
Dash snapped out of her dreamy reverie at that and was back to her old self. She gave her head a good shake and started thumping all four hooves on the ground. “Oh, you gotta show me the Reverse Half Eight!”
Gerard groaned. “Will I ever be known for anything else?” He released Ferris to the air and stretched his legs and his legendary wings. Ferris flew a knot into the air and circled around Dash a few times before darting off over the rooftops out to the countryside. Gerard and Dash were preparing to take off after him when a black shape dropped out of the sky and landed right in front of them.
“ehuff Gerard huhff huhff Goldenwings,” Thunderlane managed to gasp out. His fur was matted and covered in burrs, and his hooves were chipped in a couple places, but his eyes were absolutely shining. “I did it, Gerard, I got him! It wasn’t easy...” a couple more gasps “It wasn’t easy, but I got him. Here!” He presented not a sparrow, but what was pretty clearly a tortoise, bits of green shell showing through where the gold paint was scratched. The tortoise turned his head to Dash and blinked.
Gerard and Rainbow Dash looked at the tortoise and then at each other, and they began to laugh.
