Just a collection of funny short stories, with no heavy story.
I have been writing random short stories for a long time, long before I started fanfics, and so now I'm converting some of them to fanfics, while adding freshly written ones as well. There is no overlapping story, no central themes, this is just a collection of stories I've been bouncing around. I hope this makes somepony laugh!
“Vinyl, you said you’d go fishing with me, not sleep on a boat with me fishing next to you” A voice says next to me, whining slightly. Even if she interrupts me while I’m sleeping, I still gotta love her.
I yawn, and stretch out in my chair. Todays a warm day out, but it’s relatively cool floating out in the middle of a lake. “You win, I’m up” I crack open my eyes, and the sun greets me by instantly blinding me. “Damn it. Tavi, could you pass me my shades?” I hear her rustling around in my bag for me, and then I cautiously open one of my eyes to quick grab my pair of shades. I slip them on, and open my eyes finally. The world is bathed in the comforting shade of purple that I’m so used to.
“Better?” Tavi askes me.
“Much. You caught anything yet?” I ask, looking for a fish or something.
“No. Do you even have your rod set up yet?”
I look at the fiberglass rod with line and bait on it next to me. “Yup”
She widens her eyes in surprise. “Wow. For once you exceeded my expectations of you. Thats a first”
I smirk. “What are you talking about? I exceed your expectations every day. Well, every night to be exact...”
“Every night? I don’t know what...” The penny drops. She gives me an exasperated but amused look. “Really Vinyl?”
“Yup” I pick up my rod, and cast it out into the lake. It lands a good distance away with a satisfying “splunk”. I lean back on my chair, and relax.
“So how’s it going in the orchestra?”
“Pretty good. We have a concert coming up in two weeks. Do you think you could make it?”
“Yeah, I think so. I’m pretty sure I don’t have to DJ that night, and I have no gigs that entire week”
“So how is it going for you? In the musical department, I mean”
“Good. Some young new upstart DJ tried stealing the floor from me, but”- I brake off, as the rod in my hooves starts to pull back out into the lake. “Ahh! what do I do?”
“Vinyl, is this your first time fishing?” “Yes, just help!”
“Alright, calm down. Jerk the line back. You have to snag the fish”
I jerk the rod back violently, and I immediately feel the fish pulling on the line. “Now what?”
“Just reel it in, slow and steady”
I reel in the fish, and the closer it comes in, the more it seems to struggle. Eventually I have the fish on the end of my line, hanging in the air above the deck, it’s mouth gaping as it struggles to breath air.
“First fish?” Tavi asks me.
“Yup. What do I do with it?”
“Kiss it” she says, holding a camera. I look at her, not able to tell if she’s joking or not. “I’m joking” She says. “Payback for your comment earlier”
I look at it, and then recognize it from a book I had read. I thought the book was on bass, as in my type, with a fish for decoration, or some stupid reason.
I put on my maniacal grin. “AW YEAH! LET’S DROP THIS BASS!” I then throw the fish on the the deck of the boat.
Octavia rubs the bridge of her nose, right where she says she gets headache from me being annoying. “I’m really not amused, Vinyl”
"Wonderful. First god day of spring. This winter has been horrible, hasn't it?" I look at the clock, thinking of something the two of us could do. It's about one, and we haven't had lunch yet. I look out the window, looks at the flowers and trees, when I figure it out. "Hey, you wanna go for a walk in the public gardens? The flowers should like lovely right now"
Bon Bon's face lights up. "What a wonderful idea, Lyra. Lets go right now?"
"Yeah, sure, just give me a moment..." I walk into our room, and open my closet. I pull out a shirt, and am halfway through the process of putting it on when Bon Bon walks into our room.
"Good Celestia, Lyra, really? We're going out in public. Do you have to wear something so... Human?"
I pretend to be offended. "Oh, so you just can't handle my little quirks? To ashamed to be seen with me in public?"
She tries to backpedal furiously "No, of course not, Lyra, honey, it's just"-
I cut her off. I put on a somewhat angry face. "Oh, I see how it is"
"No, I swear"-
"You just prefer to have me all to yourself" I slide right next to her, and whisper in her ear "in private, where no one can see us" I back up a little to see her expression.
She's confused at first, but then realizes I was joking. She smiles, and then tries to look all serious. It doesn't work because that little smirk doesn't leave her face. "Maybe we'll just skip the walk, and cut right to the action?"
"Sounds lovely" I lean in and give her a lingering kiss "but I really want to go outside for a little bit first, alright?"
She gives a fake sigh. "Oh, I suppose" we make for the door.
Almost there, I think to myself. Just don't notice I'm still wearing my shirt.
"Hold on a moment. Let's bring a picnic basket"
"I'll let you get that, I'm going to sit for a bit. My asthma's working up a little bit"
Her face is etched with worry. "Are you going to be all right? Should we just stay home?"
I dismiss her with the wave of a hoof. "Nah, I'll be fine. Just gotta let my lungs get used to it"
I sit down in a chair in my unusual way. And then she notices. "Could you please take that shirt off though?"
"I suppose. By the time I'm done, you'll probably be done packing lunch, right?"
She nods, and I go into our room and take off my shirt. And it was my favorite one, to. It's a My Little Human: War is Science. It's got a picture of the leader, a black human named Obama, the great starter of the war in the Middle East.
Oh we'll. I walk out of our room, and sit on a chair on our front porch while I wait for Bon Bon.
While I'm waiting, the mail mare arrives.
"Hello, package for a Miss Lyra and a Miss Bon Bon?" The mare says.
"Yep, I'll take it"
"Alright, sign here" she pulls out a tray, and has me sign it. She looks at it, and as always I'm confused as to how she reads it with her eyes facing the wrong directions.
"Alright, here you go" using her wings like hands (which makes me extremely jealous), she opens her saddle bags and hands me a long, roundish cardboard box.
I all back in the house, and toss it on the bed. We'll be using it tonight.
I grab a soda from the fridge, and then we're ready to go. We walk out the front door, me sipping on my soda, Bon Bon carrying the basket. We pass a little orange filly, rolling around on a scooter, using her wings for extra speed, eating ice cream.
Bon Bon gestures to the filly. "You know, I wish we had one"
"What?! I can hardly take care of myself, not to mention a little filly too..."
Bon Bon gives me a look. "I was talking about the ice cream..."
"Oh, yeah, I knew that" I give a nervous laugh. The gardens are up ahead, finally.
We walk around for a little while, before finding a slightly shaded spot underneath a tree where we have lunch.
After about thirty minutes, we finish our lunch. I lean up against the tree trunk, and Bon Bon lays her head on my shoulder. I stroke her hair. She turns around, and goes in for a kiss.
We sit there, locked in each others embrace, kissing, until I pull out and ask "Do you love me?"
"Forever" is her reply.
I look around, looking for a certain pink pony to appear and say "foreevvveeerrr..." Ominously, but I see nopony except for my Bon Bon.
The one place I don't look is up in our tree, and I don't hear her words, "Oh, I'll say forever. I just gotta finish clopping"