“Hello?” Rarity called into the constabulary's office as she and Fluttershy entered. “Is anypony here?”
A pony behind the front desk raised her head, boredom etched deep into her features. She was a middle-aged pegasus with a coat of white, a mane the color of strained peaches, and a set of very pronounced eyebrows. A small name placard on her uniform declared her to be Officer Tin Star, badge number one oh four two. “Yes, ma’am. Do you need to report something?”
“Yes, actually!” Rarity said as she dragged the floating ruffians through the door with her. “There was an assault—”
Tin Star let out a loud gasp, staring at the mass of injured ponies. “Sweet merciful heavens! What monster did this?”
Fluttershy let out an uncomfortable little squeak, and Rarity placed a hoof over Fluttershy’s own, rubbing it gently.
“Actually, officer, these are the perpetrators. They attempted to mug us, and we acted in self-defense.” Rarity’s eyes flicked towards the largest of the group, who had been largely silent for some time now. “The big one in particular was threatening us, the rest were backing him up.”
The officer slowly circled the group, mouth agape. None of the criminals were inclined to say anything, though the leader flashed Rarity an angry look as she mentioned their crime.
Tin Star finally stopped, looking Rarity and Fluttershy up and down, then she let out a sudden bark of laughter. “Ha! All right, seriously now, who put you up to this?”
“You... you got us...” The leader wheezed out. “Big old prank. Think we can have a laugh and go home now?”
“You be quiet.” Rarity hissed at him, muzzling him with a little tendril of magic. She turned back to Tin Star with an apologetic look. “Ma’am, this is no joke, I’m afraid. These men are criminals, and they should be punished, but they also need medical attention when you can get them to a hospital.”
The leader let out a muffled protest, pointing to his mouth.
“Oh, and a dentist, in his case.” Rarity finished smoothly.
“Right.” Officer Star replied, a mocking little smile on her face. “And you took ‘em all down, did ya? Impressive. You don’t even look like you smeared your mascara.”
“Well... actually, no. I looked away for a moment and the large one struck me in the side of the head.” Rarity admitted, rubbing the aforementioned spot where a small lump could just barely be seen under her white pelt. “My marefriend took exception to that, and... here we are.”
The policemare’s eyes opened even wider, looking over Fluttershy with renewed interest. “She did this?”
There was a muffled groan coming from one of the stallions on the far right, who began muttering: “She’s a demon! A demon!”
This seemed to set the rest off, as they all began asking for medical attention and begging to be taken from the presence of the ‘yellow devil’.
In a flash, they were all muzzled like their leader, Rarity’s eyes blazing with anger as she did so. “Enough of that, you hooligans! You got exactly what you deserved and no more!”
“I... I...” Fluttershy trailed off, staring at the ground.
Tin Star put a hoof up to the side of her head, rubbing her temple. “Okay... look, let’s do this right, then.” She pulled out a set of keys, gesturing down the hall to a small cell. “Throw those louts in here for now. We’ll figure out what to charge them with once I take the report.”
After the criminals were safely locked away, they were lead to a small room with the word ‘Interview’ stenciled on the door. Inside was a simple wooden table with four chairs. The officer gestured for them to have a seat, producing glasses and a pitcher of water from another table that appeared to have the implements for making coffee.
“Okay, ladies, from the top, I need to know where you were, what they did, and what happened to cause all of that.”
“Well... I can tell you up to a point,” Rarity said as she took one of the proffered seats. “As I said, I was struck down. From there, Fluttershy will have to fill in the blanks.”
“I... I don’t really remember very much,” Fluttershy said, not looking at the officer. “There was so much screaming, and I was angry, and then I was just hitting him over and over—”
“Let’s start a little before then.” Tin Star pulled out a notepad from a her vest pocket, deftly gripping a nub of a pencil between her teeth. “Kay. So what brought you to Canterlot today?”
Rarity briefly explained their plans, making note of their destination being Regent Row for some shopping, thus Fluttershy’s heavy amount of bits. The officer asked to see how much they were carrying, then gave a low whistle as she was shown.
“Gotta admit, if I wasn’t already gainfully employed, even I might be a little tempted.”
“Don’t tell me you sympathize with those brutes!” Rarity protested, shooting the officer an angry glare.
“Nah, I ain’t here to sympathize with ‘em. I leave that to their lawyer. But I can understand a little. These guys weren’t too bright, that much is clear as day, but I can see how they might have taken this for an easy score. Tough luck for them.”
Rarity frowned, but she could see the officer’s point. Seeing bags laden with something heavy would usually indicate that they carried something worth selling. Had the gang of thieves known the bags contained nothing but coin they would likely have been even more likely to rob them, perhaps even attacking en masse without attempting conversation first. “Even so, this is Canterlot. I had thought things more civilized here,” she said with a pout.
“Even the capital has poor desperate souls, miss. The locals know which neighborhoods to avoid. Guessing you were visitin’ parts of town you never been to?” Tin Star scribbled down notes while she said this, looking up at Rarity expectantly.
“Well, we went to a new place for lunch, Bit’s Bistro—”
“Hey, yeah! Probably some of the best pie in the city, and I know my pies.” Tin Star nodded appreciatively, her eyes lighting up. “I moved here from Manehatten, and lemme tell ya, I was so glad to find a decent place to get a slice.”
“Yes, truly fabulous. But we decided to walk to Regent’s Row—”
“Oof. Yeah, bad stretch there. Lots of those properties got abandoned after Discord turned the streets to applesauce. Bad time. I mean, even after things went back to normal those folks didn’t stick around. Probably overdue for the guard to make a stop through there to find the squatters and ne'er-do-wells. But you know how it is.”
“I didn’t, actually, but I do now,” Rarity replied, letting out a long-held sigh of disappointment. “I suppose even Canterlot can’t be perfect.”
“We try, miss, but yeah.” The officer shifted uncomfortably. “So, you got stopped—”
“Yes,” Rarity said, picking up the thread of her tale as smoothly as she recovered a dropped stitch. “We had a bit of an argument over proper etiquette...”
Tin Star’s eyes widened as Rarity told her about her refusal to give in to the demands of the gang. “Ma’am... all I can say is, you’re lucky to be alive and pretty unruffled. Ain’t no tellin’ what might have happened. Frankly, I still don’t get how you managed. By all rights, I should’a been gettin’ a report a week from now of a couple unidentified bodies, or at the least a report from a hospital about two mares being assaulted. What were you even thinking?”
“Well... I...” Rarity stammered, taken aback by the sudden anger in the other mare’s eyes.
“Look at your poor marefriend! If what you tell me is true, she somehow pulled off the impossible, and she’s shaking like a leaf now! All over some coins!”
“It wasn’t about the coins!” Rarity blurted out. “It was about decency! Those idiots were robbing us in broad daylight, and they had the gall to try to act like it was perfectly reasonable! Things like that shouldn’t happen here!” she blinked, not even realizing she had been shouting until that moment.
“I just want you to think about those words on your tombstone the next time you do something stupid,” Tin Star replied, and for a moment, Rarity could almost hear her own mother’s voice in this mare’s. “And think about her having to toss in the first shovelful of dirt.”
The officer turned away from Rarity, who was frankly speechless at that point. “Sweetie, tell me what happened after they hit her.” she said, putting a hoof on Fluttershy’s own.
“I...” Fluttershy trailed off, not even able to look up from the table,
“Hon, it’s okay.” Tin Star said in a tone that was, if anything, even more motherly than the one she’d used to reprimand Rarity. “I get it, adrenaline was high, you did what you had to do. You can’t let it get to you! Just talk it out with me. I need to know what happened for the report.”
Slowly, Fluttershy raised her head, looking at the other mare with surprise and gratitude. And it was then that Rarity, for the first time since she’d crawled her way back to consciousness, got a good look at Fluttershy’s eyes, and it nearly broke her heart.
She’d seen this Fluttershy before, seen the haunted look, the deep sadness bordering on despair. She could hear Fluttershy’s voice asking her once more how she could make them all right again, begging for Rarity to tell her anything she could do to make up for hurting her.
And the worst of it was, the officer was right. Rarity had caused this in Fluttershy, she had made her hurt ponies in order to save her marefriend. Fluttershy would barely lift a hoof for her own sake, but for Rarity... that was another story.
There was of course the voice of reason of her mind pointing out that the criminals had been responsible for the most part, but that argument felt inadequate to her heart, which would hear no argument that justified anything that caused this amount of grief for her beloved.
Rarity said nothing for a time, only taking Fluttershy’s other hoof with her own. “Go ahead, darling. I want hear this too,” she said when she at last found her voice.
Fluttershy took a deep breath. “He hit you,” she began, her hoof trembling. “He hit you, and I moved. I’m not even sure if I was thinking, then. It was all anger and pain and fear and I wanted to hurt him. I didn’t stop to look at you, I just moved.”
She pulled her hoof from under Tin Star’s, placing it on top of Rarity’s. “The others tried to stop me while the big one backed away. I hit them, and they fell. I didn’t stop to look at them either. The first one took a kick to the mouth, the second one I hit with both of my saddlebags at once. Some took two hits, some three. I just hit them until they dropped. They weren’t ponies, they were in the way. Then it was just him and me.”
Rarity, trembling as well, placed her own hoof atop Fluttershy’s. They locked eyes, the rest of the world fading away. “Fluttershy, I’m sorry—”
Fluttershy shook her head angrily, “I’m not. I was sorry when I hurt my mom when we sparred. I was sorry when I hit my dad, even if he was being a jerk. I was sorry when I hurt those ponies by yelling at them, and I was sorry I hurt you and Pinkie. I’m not sorry I hurt those ponies in the cell.”
“But you shouldn’t have had to do that!” Rarity protested. “If I hadn’t been so stubborn—”
“No... I think it was okay. They were bad ponies, and they should be punished.” Fluttershy looked away again, staring at the table. “I... I just didn’t like how I felt, afterwards. I thought I was still angry, or maybe scared, but I don’t think so. I think I would have kept hurting them, if they hadn’t fallen down. And that big one...” she clutched at Rarity’s hooves, “If you hadn’t called out, I might have hurt him really, really badly.”
Tin Star cleared her throat loudly, and when they both turned to her, said: “Ma’am, nopony here will blame you for your actions. When you’re defendin’ your life, any amount’a force is fine. But I wouldn’t go thinkin’ about revenge—”
Fluttershy shook her head quickly. “No. I think I hurt him enough.”
“Darling...” Rarity said, “Are you sure you’re all right?”
“I... I don’t know.” Fluttershy admitted, turning back to Rarity. “I feel like... I should feel something, but I’m just tired. I don’t... I don’t want to think about it right now.”
“That’s the adrenaline wearing off, sweetie.” Officer Star made one final note in her notepad, then closed it with finality. “Well, I think that’s enough for the report. Will you be in Canterlot long?”
“We had planned on a day-trip, perhaps an overnight stay if it gets late. I do need to get to one of the local banks before they close,” Rarity replied, flashing Fluttershy a worried look. “I think I’d like to get her home as soon as possible, now.”
“I can understand that—” Tin Star’s ear twitched as a door to the office opened. “Is that you, Lance?”
“Yeah, I brought you back a bagel like you asked,” a loud male voice called back.
“That’s fine. Listen, we got a bunch’a low-lifes in the cell coolin’ their heels. Some of ‘em are pretty banged up, but they should hold till we get ‘em processed. You mind watching things while I take the witnesses in to give their testimony?”
There was a loud whistle from the stallion as his voice got closer. “What in Celestia’s name happened to these guys?!”
“They picked on the wrong pair of ladies. Just keep an eye on ‘em.”
“Shouldn’t be too hard, most of ‘em are just laying there. Even the big one looks pretty beat.”
“Yeah, they were all pretty beat.” Officer Star replied with a little chuckle.
“Looks it. So, watch the office, make sure nothing runs off, same as always.”
“Yeah, I’ll pick up a dozen from Joe’s on the way back.”
A loud sound of paper rustling could be heard, followed by what sounded like two hooves propping themselves on the top of the desk. “Take your time.”
“Excuse me, but I thought we already gave our testimony?” Rarity asked after the two had finished their exchange.
“Nah, that was just a report. They’ll still wanna hear from the plaintiffs, then those guys can explain themselves when we drag em in. Celestia’s pretty big on testimony, always has been. Makes sense, always best to hear it straight from the pony’s mouth,” she paused for a moment, considering something she’s apparently just thought of. “Actually, it’d be that younger sister of hers, now. Dunno what she’s like, but best if we assume she runs things the same.”
“Oh, we still have to shop, and go to the bank,” Fluttershy protested, perhaps a bit more quickly than necessary. “Besides, it was very busy earlier—”
“Shouldn’t take long at all, sweetie. Criminal procedure takes precedence over everything else. The Princess is very efficient about it. We just go in, you tell her what happened, and that’s all you need to do on your end.”
“It... probably would be best, sweetness,” Rarity said quietly. “It will all be fine, I’m sure. It’s just to make sure these ruffians see justice. We can deal with personal business afterwards.”
Fluttershy fidgeted in her seat, chewing her bottom lip in apparent worry. “Just the testimony? We can go shopping afterwards?”
“I promise, darling. I’ll ask Luna if we can meet later on, of course. But for right now, just this matter.”
Fluttershy closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and let it out noisily. “Okay.”
Twilight marched to Sugarcube Corner with firm resolution. Having finally decided on a course of action for the Pinkie Problem, she wanted to enact it right away.
As much as she didn’t understand Pinkie at all times, there were certain things she did understand about the mare. One of those things was that Pinkie could easily be bothered by something and not say anything about it, choosing instead to quietly internalize the problem, blaming herself instead of others.
It was a bit of a problem for Twilight, for while she cared very much about Pinkie, she wasn’t very observant of other’s feelings as a matter of course. Even when directly told how somepony was feeling she sometimes did not know what to do.
And that was assuming she understood the issue to begin with, which with Pinkie was not a given. But she felt that given the new information about Pinkie’s ‘Mina’ persona, she might be able to get some answers and address whatever it was that was bothering Pinkie.
And then, maybe they could have some post-disagreement snuggles. It had been a rough week and Twilight felt the need for more closeness. Hugs with Pinkie were an excellent way to cope with stress.
She tapped a hoof against her chin for a moment, reconsidering. It might be incorrect to call it a ‘disagreement’ when she was in all likelihood entirely in the wrong, and very ready to admit it once she’d managed to find out in what way she was wrong.
Maybe ‘conciliatory snuggles’ would be better?
Twilight nodded. She would find out in what way she was making Pinkie sad, apologize, fix the problem, then earn conciliatory snuggles.
At last Sugarcube Corner was in sight, and she opened the door to the shop, nodding politely to Mr. Cake. “Excuse me, sir. Could I talk to Pinkie for—”
She caught a brief flash of pink out of the corner of her eye before she found herself flipped over onto her back, then she saw a pink pony staring down at her with a giant smile.
“Twi-twi! I’ve been thinking about you all morning!”
Twilight blinked, staring up at the face, which in turn leaned down and kissed her excitedly. This did not aid her comprehension, but after a few moments she had stopped caring for the immediate future.
From somewhere outside of the universe of pink, a male voice coughed uncomfortably. “Pinkie, you do have a room, you know.”
Pinkie looked up and smiled. “I know! I just love it, Mr. Cake!”
He sighed, but smiled back, as it was hard to do otherwise in the face of Pinkie’s enthusiasm. “I’m glad you like your room, Pinkie. Could you maybe take Twilight up to it if you’re going to be doing that with her?”
Pinkie looked down at Twilight, then back up at Mr. Cake. “Oh. Okie-dokie!” she dragged Twilight back to her hooves, making a show of dusting Twilight off with her tail. “All better!” she announced, then grabbed one of Twilight’s hooves in two of her own and dragged her bodily to the stairs.
Twilight went along willingly enough, still not entirely sure what was happening but certainly not displeased by any of it. She’d wanted Pinkie to be happy, had gone to see her for the express purpose of ensuring that, and had found a very very happy Pinkie.
So far, so good.
“Sit, sit!” Pinkie said, depositing Twilight on her bed and plopping down next to her. Even for Pinkie Pie, she seemed inordinately pleased about something.
Twilight did as she was instructed, sitting down carefully. She hadn’t uttered a word in the last few moments, simply because she hadn’t quite known how to react. In the back of her mind she was still a little worried about Pinkie, but the forefront was still a little clouded with hormones. Although it hadn’t really been her intent, she was beginning to wonder if things would progress a little beyond simple snuggling, and if she should allow that before asking the difficult questions.
Maybe Pinkie would be more inclined to make sense when her head was swimming with endorphins?
Wait, no. If it was that easy she’d be a master conversationalist every time she ate a cupcake. Think, Twilight! She’s just a little eccentric. She still speaks Equestrian. It’s just a matter of finding the right questions and figuring out what the answers mean.
Her heart was beating heavily, and rising levels of dampness in other areas were reminding her that it had been some time since she and Pinkie had been physically intimate beyond mere snuggles and hugs.
Earn it! You can’t just ignore her needs while sating your own!
She took a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves. Pinkie just watched her, happily kicking her hooves back and forth as they hung over the bed.
“Whatcha thinking about?” Pinkie asked, merriment dancing in her eyes.
“Sorry!” Twilight said quickly. “I... ahem. I wanted to talk to you. Or... maybe not?” she considered for a long moment, then shook her head. Asking to talk to ‘Mina’ might sour Pinkie’s clearly good mood. Plus she might get the wrong idea of the intent. “Pinkie, I...”
Pinkie ducked in and kissed her again. She didn’t bowl Twilight over this time, but after the kiss Twilight was reeling, almost falling back on the bed. Pinkie... wasn’t usually this aggressive when it came to intimacy. Hugs and nuzzles were one thing, but not kisses. It was nice, but was also becoming distracting.
“Could...” Twilight took another breath and tried again. “Could we just talk for a moment?”
“Sure!” Pinkie replied, sitting back with an entirely un-Pinkie-like prim posture. But in her eyes Twilight could see naked and needy desire, and it was affecting her in ways she wasn’t certain she wanted to control anymore. Surely, if they both needed—
“Can I take you out tonight?” Pinkie asked suddenly, derailing Twilight’s thought process entirely.
Twilight blinked, even more uncertain of what was going on. “Um... like a date?” she asked, feeling especially stupid as she said it.
“Yeah!” Pinkie replied, vibrating on the bed in what could only be described as a quick series of micro-bounces. “I want to take you someplace nice to eat, and maybe we could go star-gazing afterwards. No telescopes, just you know, looking up. And we could hold hooves! Can we do that?”
“Um... sure?” Twilight replied. Granted, it wasn’t exactly what she’d planned, but maybe Pinkie would be more inclined to talk in that setting. Plus it seemed like it would make Pinkie happy.
“Yay! Score one for Pinkie!” Pinkie said, throwing a single hoof upwards and bringing it down in a move that Rainbow Dash seemed to do often, usually accompanied by the non-word ‘boo-ya’.
It seemed Twilight had judged correctly, as this decision had made Pinkie happy. She mentally checked off a win in her own column for this little victory. After a moment, she added one for Pinkie, since this counted as a win for them both, in a way. “Well, that... that actually does sound like fun. Just out of curiosity, though... what prompted that question? I didn’t know we had any special occasion coming up—”
Her eyes grew wide in sudden horror. “Oh gosh, it’s not an anniversary of some sort, is it? Let’s see, first time I... no, not even the same day of the week, not divisible by weeks or moon cycles... It’s not my birthday yet, and I don’t think your birthday comes up for another—”
“Thirty-five days, six hours, twenty-seven minutes, and six seconds.” Pinkie supplied with a giggle. “And nope, it’s a brand new thing!”
Twilight thought some more, her brow furrowing. A new event? It had to be something noteworthy... Well, she had saved both Rarity and Luna’s lives, but after the sheer number of disasters they’d all experienced in the last few years it was hard to consider that of particular importance. And if it was, it seemed like they’d want to invite Rarity and Luna along.
“Give up?” Pinkie asked, leaning in closer. “It’s really, really special.”
Twilight blushed as she felt Pinkie’s breath on her cheek. She really, really wasn’t used to Pinkie being so forcefully intimate.
Affectation was one thing. Pinkie had hugs for all, and was indiscriminate about when, where, and to whom she doled them out. Kisses from Pinkie were likewise usually strictly of the affectionate type as well, unless they were ‘in character’. Neither of them had a stitch on, however, and Twilight felt more than a little out of sorts. “U-um...”
“It’s okay! I’ll tell you.” Pinkie whispered, darting around to plant a kiss on Twilight’s lips. “You kissed me.”
“I... what?” Twilight replied, not even certain she’d heard right.
“You kissed me.” Pinkie repeated, the emphasis clearly stated, but no more elucidating for it. “Twilight kissed Pinkie. And now, Pinkie wants to take Twilight out and have a fun time. We’re gonna pick something nice to eat in a place where they don’t set things on fire, and then we’re gonna hold hooves and watch the stars and snuggle.”
Twilight listened to the words with all the intensity she could muster, trying to find the meaning behind them. She had in fact kissed Pinkie, but this wasn’t a new occurrence. At last count she’d kissed Pinkie one hundred and twenty-seven times in an intimate fashion, another two hundred and forty-five in a purely affectionate way, and another seventy-six times in places other than the face, which varied from affectionate to intimate based on circumstances. But Pinkie seemed to be saying that a new kiss had occurred.
Maybe it was in a different context? The kissing game we played with Celestia was new…
Pinkie gave her another quick peck on the cheek, looking very pleased with herself. “I gotta go, Twi. This was my break, and Mr. Cake needs bunches more baked goods for those hungry ponies downstairs. But be ready later, okay? I don’t know where we’re going yet, but it’s going to be fun, Pinkie Promise.”
“Okay...” Twilight said distantly, still thinking about what had transpired. She watched Pinkie go, leaving Twilight alone in Pinkie’s room, staring at Pinkie’s wall, and desperately trying to figure out what had gone so right so she could replicate the experience.
She’d done something new. Something that Pinkie had liked. Possibly something that was related to the the mild complaints she’d had of Twilight’s behavior before?
It was kiss-related, that much was clear. Thinking back, she didn’t think it could be related to the kissing game, because Pinkie had clearly emphasized that it was Twilight kissing Pinkie that was new. While she had been especially intimate with Celestia in the context of it being passed on to Pinkie, there was still the intermediary to consider.
Given Pinkie’s reaction, she didn’t think it was an affectionate kiss that had made her this happy.
So... it was an intimate kiss.
They hadn’t actually had any of those for some time, since things had been so hectic lately. And of course, Twilight had been making a habit of freaking out and running away whenever she was upset...
That lack of intimacy had been why she’d been so worried about Pinkie taking on the ‘Mina’ role and asking her to play the ‘Captain’ right in front of Celestia. Even when it became clear Pinkie only wanted to talk, it was difficult to separate those roles from the usual reason they were being acted out.
Wait…
They had shared a brief moment of something decidedly beyond affection this morning! It had seemed so natural at the time... Twilight had been saying goodbye, intent on acquiring a particular piece of furniture that had later proved to be impossible to find for some reason. Pinkie had given her a simple but affectionate kiss on the check, and Twilight...
I kissed her on the lips in front of Celestia.
Her eyes widened, and she could feel her heart beating faster. It had been an impulse. She’d felt... more relaxed in the morning following their shared game with Celestia, but it was more than that. She’d been happy. They’d just gotten the magical darkness problem settled together (even if Pinkie had done something unthinkable to do it) and Celestia seemed happy and Pinkie was smiling and everything had just seemed right. So she’d kissed Pinkie, on impulse, on the lips.
There had always been a pretty clear separation in her head of what was appropriate and when. Intimacy was for their play, affection was for other times. But that kiss... She made a mental note, increasing the counter to one hundred and twenty-eight.
But it was a new kiss. Pinkie said so.
A brief flash of an eraser on a chalkboard amended the count to one hundred twenty-seven, and a large number one was placed next to a new entry; marked ‘New kiss’.
That kiss been been significant. Pinkie had acted as if it was the very first time Twilight had ever kissed her. That utterly baffled Twilight, but she tried her very hardest to ignore the screaming sirens that went off in her brain when she was presented with something illogical. Logic wasn’t helpful when trying to think about Pinkie.
It hadn’t been a very long kiss. Barely more than affectionate, if she was being honest. Still, she had meant it to be taken intimately, and she didn’t mind if Celestia saw. Pinkie’s reactionary outpouring of affection had been a little embarrassing, but the kiss she’d given Pinkie hadn’t bothered her—
Her eyes opened wide in sudden, startling clarity.
It was special. Oh my gosh, she’s right.
She erased ‘New kiss’, and replaced it with ‘First intimate kiss from Twilight to Pinkie’. Even as she made that note, her brain protested. But her heart knew better. And she trusted it more than her mind when it came to Pinkie matters.
The first time she’d ever attempted intimacy with Pinkie had been a horrible failure. All the study she’d done, all the practicing she’d tried with illusionary Pinkies, none of it had helped her in that moment. The most she’d managed was a single, hesitant kiss on Pinkie’s cheek. Pinkie had been confused, but supportive. Twilight had cried in Pinkie’s arms, and then walked her home, telling her that it wasn’t her at all, that something was wrong with Twilight, and that she was so, so sorry.
The next time they’d seen each other, Pinkie had brought along a present. Twilight didn’t know why Pinkie had those costumes, and at first, she’d demanded that Pinkie return them. Then Pinkie had asked her to put on the ‘Clover the Clever’ costume, while she got dressed up as ‘Puddinghead’.
It bothered her, at first. She’d felt silly. Clover was... similar to herself, in many respects. And of course, Pinkie was always Pinkie, even when she was supposed to be Puddinghead. But somehow, completely illogically, the role had helped her separate herself from the experience just enough that it wasn’t as awkward.
She didn’t feel like ‘Clover’ was inadequate for ‘Puddinghead’. Truthfully, she’d written a few stories about historical figures in the past, some of them of a more... erotic nature. Having written for Clover, it was easy to imagine just being her, instead of Twilight. Being Clover, she had been able to find enough confidence to try all of the things she’d learned, and Pinkie had been all too happy to learn them from her.
That’s... that’s what she meant. Twilight thought, touching her own lips in wonder. Pinkie had said she wanted more than just the games they were playing; that she didn’t mind playing, but she wanted more ‘Twilight time’.
She wants to be... with me, as me, while we—
She blushed bright crimson, not quite able to complete the thought. It would mean an end to the separation. It would mean being plain old Twilight; the pony who had failed continuously when trying to confess to somepony she was attracted to, somepony she cared about. She wasn’t sure if she could do that.
But if it would make Pinkie happy, she was prepared to try.
Luna stared at the parchment before her, willing words to appear. The quill in her magic tapped the page, but beyond making small splotches of ink, nothing actually happened.
She knew well the questions that would arise from the botched sunrise. She listed them off, hoping seeing them on the page might help her find the answers that ponies would like to hear.
Why had the sun risen so late?
Why had it been noon for several hours?
For what reason was Luna even performing the sunrise to begin with?
Where was their beloved Princess Celestia?
Had she forsaken them?
Was she languishing in a dungeon somewhere, awaiting rescue?
Or perhaps was she imprisoned on a small rock, there to wait for one thousand years for a chance to return and complete her diabolical plans—
Luna stared at that last question and hastily scratched it out. At the very least she was certain Celestia had managed to avoid that particular little problem, if becoming a prisoner in your own mind as madness overtook you could be called a simple problem.
Granted, Celestia appeared to be experiencing a little bit of a schism, but the resulting entity appeared to be benign, at least. Luna felt a little surge of jealousy, and took a brief moment to examine that carefully to make certain it wasn’t the start of something darker. But it seemed to be completely normal envy, since Celestia was having the better experience even with mental disorders.
She allowed that feeling to rage for just a little while, experiencing it rather than trying to suppress it. When it had run it’s course, she found that, begrudgingly, she was happy for her sister. Even her own mind was trying to help her find happiness, and that was likely the one way Celestia would give in and allow herself to be just a little selfish.
And Luna knew well, after so very long, Celestia deserved all the happiness she could find.
She mused on her own pursuit of happiness, unsure what to think even now. She’d tried to court Rarity and Fluttershy, estranging the latter and nearly killing the former, and all the while unbeknownst to her a good friend had loved her, expecting nothing more than her occasional company in return.
Considering everything, Celestia was even trumping her in romantic pursuits. Her sister was just insufferably good at everything!
She shook her head ruefully. It wasn’t like love was a competition or anything, although if it was, she supposed she was technically winning in terms of number of partners. But it wasn’t exactly something she was proud of. Casual sex had been fun at first, but it paled in comparison to making love to somepony who cared for you, and you for them.
Thinking back, it explained an awful lot about why encounters with Fleur had always been so very satisfying.
She stared down at the parchment balefully. None of this ruminating was helping her write, and indeed, only served to make her wish to pay Fleur another visit, which was something she could not afford to do since she was going to be responsible for Night Court. She owed Middy a good rest after his efforts for her and her sister.
She also owed him a large raise, and a yacht, and at the rate he was going, a title and land upon which to retire. She wondered if Celestia would mind if he was knighted. She thought about that for a moment, then realized she had every right to decide who would be knighted, and Middy was being knighted.
Sir Midnight Oil the Patient.
Lord Midnight Oil, Ear and Voice of the Throne.
Prince Midnight Oil? I’d likely have to adopt him for that one. That would get terribly awkward.
King Midnight—
Just before she’d decided to give the entirety of her power, lands and titles to Midnight she heard a knock on the door to her study, and got up to see who was bothering her.
Opening the door revealed one of the two guards ponies she’d left to watch Midnight’s door. She frowned at him. “You’re supposed to be making certain Middy isn’t disturbed,” she said with a note of irritation clear in her voice. “Explain yourself.”
“Forgive me, Princess. You ordered that you be notified if any court matters required your attention,” he said, snapping a quick salute.
Luna waited for a moment or two, during which the guard did not move an inch.
Oh, he is good.
“What is your name, Guards Pony?”
“Lieutenant Stalwart Shield, Princess.” he replied, still not moving from his statue-like pose.
Despite herself, Luna’s frown reversed itself into a reluctant smile. “Make your report, Lieutenant.”
“Princess, we have an Officer Tin Star waiting in court to have you hear the testimony of two ponies who were the victims of an assault attempt. Standing orders within the guard were of course to contact Midnight Oil until such time as your whereabouts became known. We have notified Captain Bulwark of your return, as per your instructions,” he said, continuing to hold the salute.
She blinked, rather surprised to hear not only had her instructions been followed, but they’d been followed to the letter, as neither of the ponies guarding Middy’s room had left their post until it had become necessary in order to follow her secondary order. “At ease, Lieutenant, and thank you,” she said with all sincerity.
His posture finally relaxed, though he looked poised and ready to salute again at a moment’s notice. “You are quite welcome, Princess.”
“Return to your vigil. I hold you personally responsible for making sure Midnight gets his rest.”
He snapped off one more quick salute before abruptly doing an about-face and trotting back to his post.
Luna watched him go, then began her own march to court.
An assault case, she thought grimly. In the capital, no less.
Violent crime was not unheard of, but it was exceedingly rare in this day and age. Celestia’s rule was a prosperous one, and for the most part, ponies were content.
If such a thing was cropping up again, perhaps ponies needed to be reminded that punishments still existed. Luna’s mouth set into a firm line. There would be time to consider such when she heard the criminals attempt to argue their defense. For the moment, there were the victims to consider.
She wished for what might have been the hundredth time that day that her sister were present, as she had ever been the better of them when it came to consoling ponies who needed comfort. Luna had little of comfort to offer, only the assurance that justice would be served. She’d always been content with that role, as it was the sun’s job to offer warmth, whereas the moon’s light was cold, and served to shed light on the dark deeds of those who wished to remain hidden.
Perhaps, as the sun’s temporary steward, she could attempt to offer some warmth as well. It was worth considering. Even in the attempt the victims might take solace, and if she failed, she could still assure them of their justice.
She did wonder about the crime being reported, as ‘attempted assault’ implied that the attempt had been thwarted in some way. Perhaps she could offer not only solace, but congratulations as well? That would be pleasant.
As she rounded the corner to the main hall, she frowned as she heard the guards’ whispering as they stood watch. It was yet another example of laxness, and she noted it as such. Despite herself, she became curious, and cast a sound transmission spell into the shadow of a potted plant down the hall.
“I’m telling you, it was her!” one of the voices whispered.
“Should I have recognized her?”
“Yeah, you should have!” the first voice insisted. “That was Wildflower’s daughter!”
“Who?”
“Wildflower, you idiot!”
Luna’s ears perked up as this was mentioned. She wasn’t familiar with the pony in question, but the name was spoken with reverence, as if the pony was a legendary figure of some sort.
“Okay, so say I believe you, why is that important?”
“That officer said she was here to report an attempted assault. Some idiot tried to attack Wildflower’s kid.”
“Still not getting why that’s important...”
“You didn’t see her hooves, did you?”
“I—”
“You were too busy watching her flanks. Look, I’ll tell you all about it when we break for lunch. I think I hear somepony coming.”
Silence followed, and Luna allowed her spell to dissipate, wishing they’d said more. At the very least they had sense enough to not allow themselves to be observed being unprofessional.
Her curiosity was piqued, however. It seemed that the attempted assault had been upon the person of somepony who was considered to be the heir of a hero of sorts. She promised to be an interesting pony.
As she came within their view, the guards immediately snapped to attention, standing rigidly and waiting for her command. She decided that she would forgive them for their earlier behavior. “At ease. Are the witnesses waiting within?”
“They are, Princess.” the taller one replied.
“Very well. Announce Us.”
The doors swung open, and one of the guards stepped inside ahead of her.
“Please rise. Her Royal Highness, Princess Luna, is ready to hear your testimony.”
Luna strode in, looking neither right nor left as she approached the podium and sat behind it. She saw the incident report ready for her perusal, but was far more interested in seeing this “daughter of Wildflower” the guards had been whispering about.
“Be seated.” she intoned, finally looking up at her witnesses. “I am ready—” her eyes bulged, and she had to force her wings to stay at her side or they would have flown up in sheer surprise. “I am ready to hear your testimony.”
Half of the reason for her reaction was smiling up at her, looking just a little apologetic. “Hello! So sorry to trouble you, Princess,” Rarity said as she sat down. “I’m afraid Fluttershy and myself had a bit of a mishap.”
She nudged Fluttershy, who was steadily looking at the floor. Luna noted with alarm that there seemed to be splotches of dried blood on Fluttershy’s hooves, and upon looking more closely at Rarity she saw a small lump on the side of her head, just below the maneline.
“Dearest, shall I tell her what I remember?”
Fluttershy said nothing, only nodding very slowly.
Rarity looked back up at Luna, her mouth quirked into a small worried frown. “We’ll need to give her a moment. In the meantime, I’ll detail what happened before... Well, I’ll get to that.”
“Please do,” Luna said hoarsely.