1. Pinkie Pie may not consume more than twice her own body weight in sugar over a 24-hour period.
Pinkie Pie rolled her eyes. "Suuuuuure, you'll catch me."
Celestia silently made a note to regularly correspond with the Cake family.
2. Sugarcube Corner is not actually made of sugar, and it will remain that way.
3. The Mirror Pool cannot be used to duplicate cake, even if you do share it with me.
4. Washable markers will always be used. Do not let Pinkie Pie anywhere close to a Sharpie.
5. The Grand Galloping Gala method of transport will not become ice-cream trucks. Or cement mixers filled with candy. Or cement mixers filled with applesauce.
6. "Pinkie Sense" is not an appropriate subject to teach in school.
7. "Apples" are not a religion. Even if you do worship apples, you may not set up "Apple Churches" atop "sacred apple grounds". Ponies live there.
Several of the Apple family humphed angrily. Whether it was indignation from being stereotyped or from having their request revoked, Celestia didn't know. She hoped it was the former.
8. There are no stores set up only for Daring Do fanfiction.
9. If you tease Discord and wake up the next morning with your head and buttocks switched, that's your fault. Do not sue me, because I cannot help.
10. We do not want another incident. Therefore, Fluttershy will not be allowed in the gardens without an escort, especially at night.
11. "The Stare" is not an appropriate method to get out of paying bills.
12. Ursa Majors, Chimeras, Orthroses, Manticores, Cragadiles, or any other form of vicious magical creatures are not to be ridden as your "personal steeds". This means you, Trixie.
A blue unicorn in the audience raised her hoof. Celestia ignored it. The unicorn waved it in the air, smacking other ponies in the face, until Celestia sent a large intimidating stallion over to ask her to put her hoof down. When she did not, the stallion forcibly removed her from the grounds.
13. Birthday parties are OK. After-birthday parties can be tolerated. Throwing a party for every pony in Equestria every day because it's their "unbirthday" is not allowed.
14. Luna is not Nightmare Moon. Therefore, you are not allowed to shoot rainbow-colored guns at her to "make sure she's not trying to go anywhere". (Who asked this?)
"Me!" shouted a random pony in the audience. It turned out to be Button Mash's older brother, Joystick, who was co-incidentally wearing a Pony Kombat T-shirt.
15. There will be no alicorn princesses of "early library returns".
16. You are not allowed to name a foal after its first word. Especially if its first word is something inappropriate.
17. "Love poison" is not an excuse for stalking your ex.
18. You may not loudly sing "Gonna fly into the Danger Zone" at the top of your lungs every time you see a Wonderbolt. No, it is not their anthem, and it will not become their anthem.
"But--"
19. The Wonderbolts do NOT HAVE AN ANTHEM, NOR WILL THEY EVER GET ONE.
"Aw."
20. Because it's not "in season" is not a valid excuse to steal clothing. Especially if the pony is wearing it at the time.
21. Any sentence that includes any word that starts with "necro-" is illegal.
22. You may not capture ponies for your personal harem. Especially if the reason is "because somepony shipped me with them".
23. You may not use any living creature as a test subject for new spells.
24. You may not cast "Want it, Need it" spells on yourself. See #17.
25. "Trying to ask Big Mac questions that aren't yes/no" will not become a national sport.
26. You may not play the Rainbow Factory song when foals are at flight practice.
27. You may not dub yourself "the ruler of cheese".
28. Flugelhorns are not allowed outside of the Crystal Empire.
29. Rainbow Dash is not Skittle-flavored. Therefore, there will not be any candy labeled "Rainbow Dash flavor".
30. Releasing Tirek so he and I can "duke it out" is not a valid pastime.
31. You may not scream "waifu theif" at random ponies.
32. Whatever "breakdancing" is, do not do it.
33. You may not tell foals that "snogging" means "studying with somepony for a big test".
34. You may not Photoshop anypony into a compromising position with anypony else.
35. "Because I was playing Pokemon Go" is not an excuse for skipping school or work.
Several foals whined. One, oblivious to the world around her, followed her phone into a tree.
36. The Crystal Heart is not made of rock candy. You cannot eat it. You also cannot make fake Crystal Hearts out of rock candy and tell ponies that "they need love to work". It has proven for extremely awkward situations.
37. Jell-O wrestling is not allowed.
38. You may not claim to be the seventh Element of Harmony. Especially if it is the Element of: cheese, screwdrivers, sex appeal, YouTube, or fanfiction.
39. You are not allowed to call Discord "Q".
40. "Sweet Apple Massacre" was not written, condoned, or confirmed by Big Mac. In fact, all events depicted in it are completely false.
41. You may not sing "Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows". Unless it is only to Fluffle Puff.
42. There will be no ship wars about the Power Ponies.
43. You may not sing or dance to the following: Gangnam Style, Peanut Butter Jelly Time, or the Star Wars theme.
44. Lubricant is not frosting.
45. You are not allowed to rename yourself "Thor".
46. Spike, the Crystal Empire is not a buffet. Nor are the crystal ponies "life-size snacks".
47. There is no occupation known as "the royal jester".
48. You may not smear chocolate frosting on yourself and then tell other ponies you "had a little accident with the toilet" for a joke.
49. You may not petition to change my name to Sunbutt. The same goes for Luna and Moonbutt, Cadence and Heartbutt, Rarity and Gembutt, etc.
50. You are not allowed to tell foals that the strip club in Canterlot is an arcade.
"Citizens of Equestria," Celestia said in a raspy voice, "come back in two days for the next fifty. Today you can think about the first fifty."
The crowd, mumbling, dispersed, and the princess ran inside to get a glass of water. When she had finished gulping it down, she heard a knock on her door.
"Come in?"
The door opened for her to find the large stallion from before, holding what looked like a hundred scrolls. They were probably more requests, just to find loopholes.
Celestia groaned. "It's going to be a very long day."