S2 Chapter 8: The Nightmare Games/Yet another Intervention/Canterlot Party Crashers.
Warning: Memes and random shit incoming. Also, darken the background via formatting. Light-coated pony dialogue below.
-Xavier's Recap-
It was safe to say that I was no longer a virgin. I had expected and was hoping for my first to be with Rainbow when she was ready. Twilight had told Dash about what had happened. She wasn't too happy with the crusaders, but she figured Cheerilee's punishments for them was fair. Basically, not only were they on janitor duty at school, but they had to write a 1200 word essay on the dangers of potion making. That's not what was planned at first. At first, she had them write "I will not poison anypony into fake love" all over the board. However, Apple Bloom was caught cheating using a lined multiple chalk holder so she could write it many times at once. Then, Brianna tried to be cute and write it in Japanese. She wrote "兄と先生がツリーに座って。" on the boards, knowing Cheerilee couldn't read it. She would've gotten away with it too had there not been a Japanese teen in the class. Bri stayed over at Fluttershy's for a while. Although I wasn't mad enough to unleash my wrath upon her the next day, I still didn't wanna see her or her filly friends for a while. That and Fluttershy had her own punishment for her, which required her to be on animal duty. Or should I say... doo-doo-duty. Apple Bloom joined Jack in field work punishment whereas Rarity, being a warrior for love herself, had many lectures of the heart for Sweetie to sit through. Scootaloo, I'm not sure how her parents handled her. I'm sure the girls will think about their actions from now on. How do I know all of this without seeing them? Luna, of course. When I told her about it, she figured it would be better for the both me and Bri if I "banished her to the Fluttershy's Cottage" for a while. I didn't know if I should've laughed at what she said or not, considering her history.
With that said, even after the incident, the girls still hadn't been talking to me. Well, scratch that. Rainbow was the only one, but she had to sneak through the window in bro's room at night. She pretty much confirmed that the others were the reason why she wasn't talking to me. She wanted to remain loyal to us both, but it was becoming really difficult for her and she was hating every moment of it. Last night, I told her that if it were up to me, she wouldn't have to choose, and she shouldn't. Her response was the most passionate kiss she could give, and her telling me that if she were to choose, she'd choose me over them. Of course, I had a better idea. I told Rainbow said idea before she left. With that, I went off to my date with Luna.
-Xavier's Recap Over-
The Nightmare Games
I was on a beach, relaxing on a fold-up beach recliner. I don't remember how long I've been there, but my mind told me to not think about it. All that mattered now was to wait for her majesty's arrival. I didn't really have to wait that long because she was in a really skimpy swimsuit. There was another beach recliner right next to mine. Instead of using that one, she insisted on sharing mine.
"Is this seat taken?" She asked.
"It is. And you'd be able to fit fine if it weren't for those chest balloons you have there."
"Thou doesn't seem to mind." She said, her eyes half-lidded.
I wrapped an arm around her. "So what're we gonna do tonight? Finish your game?"
"Nay. We would like to give thine games a break and relax with thee." I scratched behind her ears, causing her to moan a little. In return, she nuzzled against my head.
"You don't look bad tonight." I said, regardless of it being daytime in my dreams. I had been waiting for a comment or a reaction from her, but it never came. When I looked at her, she was looking next to me as if she saw a ghost. "Something wrong?" When I turned away from her to see where she was looking...
...
I didn't expect to see a darker-furred twin, staring at us while lying on the other recliner. Her emerald eyes looked half reptilian, but she was definitely equine, ignoring the sharp fangs in her grin. She was wearing a shiny blue helmet and armor that didn't cover much of her body. I looked back at Luna. "You uh... have a twin sister or something?"
Ignoring me, she glared at the other. "What are thou doing here?!"
Grinning, the other mare replied. "Thou seem to be having a lot of fun with this creature. T'would be a shame if Tartarus were to be unleashed on this peaceful dream world."
"No thanks. Not a huge fan of tartar sauce.."
"Oh, is thou creature deadly allergic to tartar sauce?"
"Nope. Just don't like it." As soon as I said that, a jar of said sauce appeared out of nowhere and was poured all over both of us. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes. "Something on your mind, ma'am?"
"Thou truely doesn't know who I am, creature?"
"Nightmare Moon! Leave us at once!"
"Oh so you're Nightmare Moon! I'm Xavier. Nice to meet ya!" I said, offering a hand.
"Creature! Thou has made a mistake with becoming close with the princess of the night! We know all about your fears, and we will make those fears consume you!!!"
"NO!"
Through Nightmare Moon's evil laughter, she grew into a gigantic mare and spread her wings unleashing a swarm of wasp and mosquitoes. They had swarmed the beach as the skies grew dark and cloudy. Cliche'. Mosquitoes were swarming and landing on me. I watched as their bellies became full of my own blood. Wasp landed on me all over, a few going up my nose and in my ears. And to top it of, she made the surrounding sand form a tight tomb around me, trapping me within a tight space full of mosquitoes and wasp, and even brown recluse spiders. Fortunately, since I knew it was all a dream, it didn't bother me much. Actually, it did. It pissed me off. Game on, bitch.
"Xavier! Can thou hear us?!" I could hear Luna calling out to me.
"That's right! Give in to your-" The sand tomb exploded, shooting sand and dead bugs everywhere. In my place, stood a bald man wearing a yellow jumpsuit, red gloves and boots and a white cape flowing in the wind.
"WHAT?!"
"Haven't you been paying attention?" I said, walking from behind Luna. "There's a reason I don't have nightmares." Nightmare once again tried to entrap me with my own fears. This time when the sand tomb exploded, a Caucasian red headed bearded male wearing jeans,a white T-shirt, boots, and a hat took my place. "Do you really think it was Luna that was really in control of all of those dream scenarios? Nah, that was all me. This creature knows how to control his own dreams." The red head spontaneously appeared on her shoulders. By the time Nightmare noticed him, he had already gave her his skull-crushing lone star roundhouse kick. I could feel Luna's flinching. As Nightmare stumbled forward, the caped baldie jumped up to her stomach and, in one punch, made her explode into pieces. Luna could only stare in awe, her mouth agape at what was now known as the end of Nightmare Moon.
...
Yeah right. I'm not done with you yet. The night had just started.
The bloody pieces started to come together to form a normal sized anthro Nightmare Moon, who was wondering how she was alive. Luna looked at me as if I had grown an extra limb on my forehead. "Has thou gone mad?!?"
"Nope. Just having fun." I said, walking up to Nightmare who was backing away from me. I simply bowed. "Konichiwa and Sayanora." A green tentacle had came out of the sea and wrapped itself around her leg and pulled her screaming into the ocean. Pieces of her armor flew out of the water and onto the shore. Before Luna could say anything, I silently counted from three using my fingers. Nightmare Moon was now naked and exposed, erupted from the surface, now having three more tentacles wrapped around her limbs spread out. The creature who the tentacles belonged to also rose to the surface, revealing it to be the head of every humans favorite ogre.
"WHAT!!! ARE YOU DOING!!! IN MY SWAMP!!!"
I couldn't resist when the music started playing.
"Somebody once told me
The world is gonna roll me
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed."
Four more tentacles came out of the water as the ogre head kept his smile.
"She was looking kinda dumb
with her finger and her thumb
with the shape of an 'L' on her forehead"
The Shrekkan, I call it, had two of his tentacles wrap around her mouth and her horn before going back under, taking Nightmare for a ride.
"Well, the years start comin and they don't stop comin'.
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground runnin'.
Didn't make sense not to live for fun.
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb."
The Shrekkan looked like he was so enjoying himself, tossing the villainess from tentacle to tentacle like a play toy.
"So much to do, so much to see
So what's wrong with takin' the backstreets?
You'll never know if ya don't go.
You'll never shine if ya don't go."
Luna couldn't decide if she would listen and watch me sing, or watch what was happening off shore. Saitama stared at the sight with a that blank open-mouthed smile.
"Hey now! You're an all star!
Get your game on! Go play!
Hey now! You're a rock star!
Get the show on! Get paid!"
I poofed a tub of popcorn in front of Luna. She started sharing with Saitama, Chuck, and a random raptor.
"All that glitters is gold.
Only shooting stars break the mold."
The Shrekkan had her raised in the air as his tentacles slowly spread out all of her limbs. More tentacles were approaching her.
"Somebody onced asked
could I spare some change for gas
I need to get myself away from this place."
She looked pretty exhausted. She woke up when she saw the tentacles and looked at us pleadingly, shaking her head wildly. The others nodded their heads before Shrekkan did his thing.
"I said 'Yup.
What a concept.
I could use a little fuel myself
and we could all use a little change.'"
Luna couldn't turn away from what was happening, greatly being thankful that it wasn't her out there.
"Well, the years start comin' and they don't stop comin'.
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground runnin'.
Didn't make sense not to live for fun.
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb"
Tentacles went through every hole in Nightmare's body. Muffled screams and moans could barely be heard over my singing.
"So much to do, so much to see,
so what's wrong with taking the backstreets?
You'll never know if ya don't go.
You'll never shine if ya don't glow."
To say the villainess didn't look so good would be the understatement of the year. Her eyes were rolled to the back of her head as she realized just how helpless she was I'm her situation.
"Hey now! You're an all star!
Get your game on! Go play!
Hey now! You're a rock star!
Get the show on! Get paid!"
Luna got up and tapped me on the shoulder and motioned for me to stop. I turned to Shrekkan and did the 'cease motion. He slammed his victim face first into the sandy shore before releasing her and going on his way.
"All that glitters is gold.
Only shooting stars break the mold."
Nightmare was slowly and weakly crawling away from us, only to have her blocked by Chuck Norris. He knelt down to her current level, staring into her soul with judging eyes.
Wait for it...
"P-please! Have mercy!" Nightmare cried. In return, he extended a hand to her in which she gladly accepted...
...before a fist came out of his beard and knocked her out cold. Luna and I were rolling in the sand laughing.
"Sorry. Did you wanna have a turn?"
"Nay, nay. We think thou has given her what she deserved."
We stood there alone with the unconscious Nightmare. "So what exactly do we do with her?"
"We don't know how she came out if us, but we don't want her back." Luna sighed. "Alas, we may have no choice but to keep her from burdening thee any further." she said sadly.
Actually... "I don't think she'll be doing me any harm. I don't mind keeping her in my head. Better than risk something happening to piss you off to the point of her taking over again." I shrugged. "She can't do shit to me."
"You would do that for us?! OH THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!" Luna squealed, pulling me into a hug, for the 20th time, suffocating me in her chest balloons. I still hugged back.
"No problem." I snapped my fingers, having a French maid outfit appear on 'Nightmaid Moon.' This got a few giggles from Moon Butt. "I'm sure I can get her to behave."
"Careful, Xavier. 'Tis a feisty one that is." She playfully warned as a collar and leash appeared on Nightmare Moon.
"Oh yeah?" I grabbed a hold of the leash and splashed a bucket of water over her that I had made spontaneously appear. When Nightmaid woke up sputtering, she stood up and tried to break for it, only to be clothe-lined by her collar.
"ACK!!! ..Wha-"
"Yeah, Luna's leaving you here in my head." Luna nodded.
"No."
"Yup."
"NO!"
"And to prove to her I can make you behave, I want you to kneel before me!"
Fear grew to pride-fueled rage. "NEVER! I WILL NEVER BOW DOWN TO YOU, MONSTER!!"
"Oh. You wanna see a monster? Well then." I turned, facing the ocean while cupping my hands around my mouth. "Somebody once told me-" And her fear returned as she shrieked and got on her knees, bowing while shaking. Luna couldn't stop laughing.
"We think we found a new favorite song."
Yet Another Intervention
(Wednesday 2/15)
The morning was rather simple. Go out, check for requests, do the job, get paid, you know, the norm. Jack was probably still suffering at Sweet Apple Acres, may God help him. I was feeling in the mood for some sweets, and the markets were still open. I had gone over to Bonbon's stand she had. Unfortunately, she set up her shop infront of Golden Oaks. Yeah, I'm getting my shit and leaving. Lyra was there, so I assumed she was assisting. However, she looked pretty bored. That was until I stopped in front of their stand. Her face lit up like the fourth of July.
"Hey Xavier, how can we help yo-"
"HI XAVIER!!" Lyra screamed.
I gave them a two-fingered salute. "Sup ladies?" I was pretty much used to Lyra's excitement around us. Bonbon? Not so much. She had slammed her head on the stand, groaning at her roommate's sugar-high antics. Smiling deviously, my inner troll needed a snack as well. "Hey. There's nothin to be embarrassed about. Lyra and I are cool!" I said, rubbing said mare's mane while scratching behind her ears. She bit her bottom lip, starting to tremble as I did so, letting out muffled squealing. I looked back at Bonbon, noticing her face was still down on the stand. This won't work if you're not looking. "I was just hoping for a sweet treat."
This got her attention as she looked up, smiling. "Really? Well if you're looking for choc-Oh Celestia no! Now you've done it!" I snickered while grinning. She looked at me, bemused. "You know, since you two get along so well, how about you take her along with you then?"
"REALLY?!?" Lyra's eyes were practically sparkling at this point as Bonbon was now the one staring deviously at me. I see what you're doing.
Smiling at her attempt to throw me off with an unexpected tag-along, I shrugged. "Sure. Got nothin else to do. My time is free. Besides, lack of human recognition's probably why she's bouncier than Jonathan on a sugar rush. Kinda feel bad." They don't call me the victory snatcher for nothing. I thought as I felt an extra weight around my sides. I looked down to see Lyra clinging on to me, cheesing.
Bonbon rolled her eyes. "She wasn't doing anything but eating ugly candy anyway."
I was being honest when I said I had nothing better to do. Lyra and I went to the park, her still clinging on to me. We sat by each other on the first bench we came across, with Lyra sitting in a way that was meant for humans to sit.
"Lyra, are you sure you're supposed to be sitting like that? I don't think your... anatomy... is built the same as mine." I motioned to her. "Your backbone's gotta be killin' you."
Instead of an actual response, she grabbed my hand with her hoof and placed it on her head. I did what she wanted me to do and scratched behind her ears, petting her. No one was bothering me, I didn't care if I was being stared at or not. I just wanted to relax for a while, so that's what I was gonna do. However, a moment later I got bored. What does a guy like me do when he gets bored on a day with nothing else to do? Easy! We play video games. I looked over to Lyra to find her leaned back, snoozing. I took that opportunity to bail and head home.
-3rd Person POV-
As Xavier headed up to the front door of his home, he unlocked it and opened it up. He went to the gaming room only to find five of the six girls, Jeff, and Jack, the later two not looking so happy. "What's going on?" he asked. Fluttershy shrunk behind her mane as expected. Rainbow was avoiding eye contact. Pinkie, although her mane was as fluffy as usual, wore a nasty glare along with Applejack. Rarity was missing. "Where's Rarity?"
"She has business in Canterlot on a business trip. Please, take a seat." Twilight commanded, looking serious.
"Okay?" Xavier complied and took a seat next to Jack. "So what's with the thick atmosphere here?"
"We're havin' an intervention."
Jeff instantly grunted. "About what?! I got shit to do and I don't got all day to do it. Get to the fuckin point! What're all of you bitchin about now?!?"
"This is about that mean prank you set up! And breaking a Pinkie Promise!" Pinkie chipped in.
"I told you. I can't make a pinky promise to someone without a pinky finger. I found a loophole." Xavier said, grinning.
Jeff stood up and started walking towards the front door. "Just where the hay do ya think you're goin'?" AJ asked.
"Yer wastin my time over bullshit and I'm not havin it." Opening the front door, he stepped out before turning to everyone." Lil advice for you drama queens: It's a damn joke, not a dick. Don't take it so hard!" Jack and Xavier were left chuckling after Jeff was gone.
"Good advice." Xavier said. He was silenced by the looks the girls, excluding Rainbow, were giving me.
"These pranks have to stop."
"They're goin too far!"
"They're mean!"
After a while of looking at the girls, Xavier looked at Rainbow Dash. Her eyes avoided his the moment they made contact. "Don't look at Rainbow. This intervention was her idea." More silence. Jack couldn't even think up of a joke to lighten the mood this time. After a moment, Xavier stood up from his seat.
"Fine. You girls win." This opened all of the girls' eyes. Xavier gave a weak smile. "Yeah, I just thought it'd be fun to mess with everyone, ya know? Try to make things interesting, or just keep myself from being bored."
"Really? So, no more?" Twilight asked. I can't believe we're finally getting through to him! This is way easier than I thought it'd be.!
Xavier shook his head. "Nope. No more. I'm gonna completely change for you girls because I care about you so much. I won't bother you anymore, Fluttershy. I'll see about making sure Bri stays out of your hair too." A faint gasp came from the timid pegasus. "Twilight, I'll stay out of your hair too. I've just been trying to spend more time with you, but you know, you're right. You're too busy with your studies and running your library on a daily basis. I'll leave you to that."
Twilight was now getting visibly uncomfortable "Xavier, I-"
"No, no, you're right. If I'm that bad, there'll need to be changes. Pinkie, Dash, I guess I'm out of the pranking gang. It was fun, but it seems no one enjoys my pranks anymore. No more jokes either. I won't even make a human reference again."
Everypony's ears were folded to their sides, Rainbow being next to talk. "Then I guess this is it then. It's over." Everyone gasped as Rainbow stood up to leave. "You're not the fun and loving cool guy I fell for anymore. You're gonna change into a completely different pony that I don't wanna herd with, and you get rid of everything that makes yourself who you are so easily too! I'm done! Goodbye Mr. Roberts."
"Loyalty my ass..." Jack mumbled.
The remaining four watched as Dash trotted out of the house, the only sound being her hooves going quieter as she left. "Well, hope this is what you girls wanted. I'm going to go upstairs." Xavier stood up and made his way to the stairs.
"Xavier, please, come back and sit down. We didn't mean-" Twilight said softly. He was already going up the stairs. However, no one could see the mischievous grin on his face.
-Xavier's POV-
I headed straight to my room finding Rainbow on my bed, sitting there with a proud look on her face. She looked like she had became the leader of the Wonderbolts, became President and seized all means of production in one day. Closing the door and locking it, I went over to Dash and fist/hoof-bumped her.
"Think the plan'll work?" She whispered.
"After your performance? Holy shit! Even after the Mare Do Well prank I pulled on you, you never sounded so cold!" I quietly said. "I was almost convinced you really would leave me like that. ...You wouldn't, would you?" I asked nervously.
"It depends. You gonna stop being the awesome human I love hanging around with?"
"Like hell I will." I told her. Rainbow's ear twitched as we could hear hoofsteps coming up the stairs.
"I'm gonna go, okay?" I nodded my head. She planted a quick kiss before flying out of the window. I closed it after her. There were three feint knocks. I hurried up and got in bed. I also grabbed my phone and started recording. I've never faked crying before, but I made sure they could hear.
"Xavier? Are you okay?" I heard Twilight say. "Look, come out. Please? We're sorry." I cupped my hands around my mouth, took a deep breath, and let out a loud wail. The door knob rattled as I heard Twilight swear the house's magic resistance. I stated at the door for a moment. She should know when the doors are locked. "Look, maybe we were too hard on you. Xavier, we're sorry about trying to change you.. You're our friend, and so is Jack. We should've just accepted who you are, and your weird sense of humor is just a part of you. And maybe I should make more time for you. I do love you after all." She mumbled softly.She still isn't used to saying that?
"You mean it?" I said, fake sniffling.
"Yes. We all mean it. Right girls?"
"Yeah."
"Yup."
"Mhm"
"Pinkie Promise?"
They all chanted that ridiculous phrase.
I grabbed my phone, still recording, and unlocked the door. I went back to my bed and sat, aiming the phone's camera at the door. "Come in." When the door opened, and they all came in. Fluttershy looked as if she was crying, Pinkie and AJ wore shameful faces, whereas Twilight looked worried. When Jack came in, he gave an irritated expression.
"Why are you recording?"
"Just catching the looks on your faces is all." I said, grinning.
Twilight stared for a moment with the others, looking like she had blown a few gears in her head. "What?!"
AJ looked pissed again, stomping towards me. "Why you no-good flat-footed bald-faced-"
The farm pony's were interrupted by Pinkie's laughter. And this wasn't the crazy angry laughter, but genuine.
"Good one Eggsy!" Pinkie said.
AJ looked puzzled. "What do you mean, 'Good one?' Ah have more than half a mind ta shove my buckin legs so far where the sun don't shine for this here stunt he just pulled."
"You girls did deserve it though." Jack said, shaking his head. "You practically did cause him his relationship with Rainbow."
"No they didn't. She was in on it. We both just decided to teach you both a little lesson. One, about getting over petty shit. Two, to not pressure anyone against their will to strain a healthy relationship between someone else." I snapped my fingers. "Stick that in your next report." I said, throwing on an "obey" hat and shades.
Twilight rolled her eyes and sighed. "As much as I hate to admit it, you're right. I may not like your pranks, but they were harmless, and we acted foals. I know we don't deserve it, but can you find it in your heart to forgive us?" she said, giving me the eyes I'm totally immune to.
"He's the one actin like a darn foal." AJ mumbled. It's called trollin' hun.
"Sure," I said. Before they could even sigh in relief, I held up a finger. "But under two conditions. One, AJ must free Jack. He's your boyfriend, not your slave." Jack silently mouthed 'Thank you' to me.
"Now see here! Ya can't-"
"AJ!"
"Applejack!" Twi and Jack shouted. Cowgirl's gonna go out the window.
"AJ, babe, look. I know I'm sorry about the prank and all, but don't ya think I've done enough?" Jack said. "It's been weeks, and I have a life too you know!" Yeah. God knows how many jobs I had to do alone where he would've come in handy.
"Oh alright. You did enough." She said, turning to Jack. "Sorry. Ah guess ah may have got a bit overboard there makin' ya work for so long."
"And what's your second condition?" Twilight asked.
"Six more favors."
"Three."
"Seven."
"Five?"
"Nine."
"Seriously?!" she protested.
"Can do this all day." I said, smirking.
"Ugh! Fine! Nine more favors!"
I scratched behind Twilight's ears. "Don't worry Twilight. The twelve favors you now owe me won't be too bad. In fact, you may be able to learn new things by doing them."
Rolling her eyes, Twilight had sat next to me. She took out a pen and paper and started writing a letter to the Princess. While she did that, I had crawled under my sheets.
"Xavier?" I turned to Twilight. She was looking at me from her side.
"Yeah?"
"Why do you like pulling pranks so much? I know the girls and I have been a bit angry towards you, but you have to admit that sometimes you do behave foalishly sometimes." She went back to writing.
"Well, being honest, I pull pranks on friends and those I care about. Rarity was a special case, but only because I felt pulling pranks on her was the best way to get at her. I like picking on you the most though. Your reactions are the most priceless to me." I said, scratching behind her ears. She hummed lightly, enjoying my touch. "Think of it this way. When I stop messing with you, that is when you should be worried."
In turn, she smiled, nuzzled and pecked my cheek. "I don't know what it is that makes you so annoying, yet cute at the same time."
"I dunno either." I said. "I guess you're just attracted to trolls."
She shook her head, humming playfully. "Hm... It's not that. Why do I like you so much?" I slapped her paper and pen out of her magical grasp and threw them both on the floor. This earned a glare from her. "Hey! I was still writing th-hmmmph..." That was all she could say before I pulled her under the sheets and kissed her. She returned the kiss before pulling away, puffing her cheeks. "You're not playing fair."
"I rest my case." I teased.
Canterlot Party Crashers
(Thursday 3/2)
It was about a few weeks later when I found myself sitting in a chair in front of my house in my Redskins hooded windbreaker sports jacket.Because fuck dem Cowboys. I was doing nothing in particular, having the day off. Today was a special day however. It was the bookworm's birthday today. Why am I sitting here instead of getting her something for her birthday? Because I'm not the type to put things off until the last minute. ...okay most of the time I'm not the type to put things off until the last minute. However, Twilight had other wishes for today. She had planned on going to Canterlot that afternoon so Rarity could be involved. So here I was, sitting on my lawn in my casual clothes while waiting for everyone. I wasn't on my own for Rainbow was using me as a lawn chair to nap on. Not that I cared in the least. I may've dozed off a couple of times while waiting for everyone else. I just enjoyed the peace while I could.
"EGGSYYYYYYYYY!!!"
...and it was good while it lasted. I opened an eye go see Pinkie bouncing in front of me. Ritalin, Pinkie needs you. "Whatchu wont, Pepto Pony?"
"Twilight says to have everypony ready and at the train station in one hour and I said 'Okiedokie Loki' and came all the way down here to tell you that Twilight wants you to be-" I clamped her mouth shut faster than Shrek could clamp Donkey's.
"I got the message, Pinks. Breathe."
"What's going on?" Rainbow said, running her eyes.
Before Pinkie could use her voice again, I told her what I was told. "I'm gonna get the guys." I got up when Dash did and went inside. I didn't really do much besides yell "THE MARES ARE READY GUYS! GET YOUR SHITS TOGETHER AND C'MON!" I went to get a few things (including my gun because Canterlot) and led the group to the train station where we met Twilight and the rest of the girls. Twi didn't look too happy, tapping a hoof on the ground repeatedly.
"Sup girls?" I said.
"Xavier!" I had only blinked before Twilight was on her hindlegs and in my face. "You are five point seven seconds late! The train to Canterlot is about to leave in a few minutes!"
What? You're joking.
"Punctuality isn't your thing, I know, but I go by a schedule for a reason you know! What would've happened if the train left without you?! We would've had to leave you behind!"
It's your birthday... Must... resist... giving... sass...
"Try to stick to the schedule, okay? I said an hour, not an hour and five point seven seconds. One. Our. Got it?"
Don't... facepalm...
Regaining my composure after the internal battle I was having, I simply nodded my head. "My apologies, Twilight. You're right. I'll do better next time."
This seemed to have caught everyone off guard. Everyone was looking at me with a surprise expression on their faces. Twilight blinked. "O...kay. That's good. We're riding in the first class car." She turned away, looking at me one last time before walking to said car.
Jack waved his hand in my face. "You okay there, man? You'd usually call her out or somethin." Rainbow nodded her head, eyeing me suspiciously.
"I'm just giving her a break today. What's wrong with that?" I shrugged, following Twilight. The others followed suit shortly after shaking off their shock. I was walking closely behind Twilight when we went into our car. It was fancy to say the least.
"Hey uh, Twilight? Why the fancy car? Not questioning you or anything. Just curious."
"About that.." She shifted nervously staring up at me. "I may've put it on your tab..."
I could feel my eyebrow twitch. It's her birthday... It's her birthday... It's her birthday...
"Well, I don't mind. It's your birthday after all. I'd be honored to pay for... everyone's tickets when we get back..."
"Really?!?" Twilight stared wide-eyed at me. "Well.. thanks. I was teasing you, but thanks. Being a personal student of the princess has its merits."
"Hahaha, good one.." It's her birthday.
While everyone was getting in and settling, I noticed Twilight still staring at me from the corner of my eye. Ignoring it, I leaned back for a little shut eye as the train started moving. I didn't fall asleep though, for I could still hear everything going on around me. That and I wasn't really sleepy. Consider it resting.
"So why are we going to Canterlot for Twilight's birthday?" Jack asked.
"We're throwing a party over there for her! And since Rarity couldn't come back to Ponyville for a party because Opalescence is sick, so we're going up there so she can attend the party!" Pinkie, you really love saying 'party' don't you?
"Oh dear.. I hope she's alright."
"Aw don't you fret nothin' sugarcube. Ah'm sure Rares is takin good care of her animal."
"Are you sure, AJ?" Asked Jack. "She puts eye liner on her cat. That can't be good for the feline. Jeff, you ever seen anyone put makeup on a cat?"
"Not in person, but whoever does need goddamn help." Jeff grumbled.
It was getting to be a long ride that eventually I was beginning to actually fall asleep throughout the company banter. It was a slow process indeed.
"Let us go!"
"No."
"Let us go!"
"No."
"Let us go!"
"No."
It's been this way since Clownmare Moon had given up on trying to escape from my head. She finally realized that she couldn't do anything without my say so. She was stuck here, and I wasn't letting her go.
"Let us go!"
"No."
...No matter how annoying she was... I don't know how long I've been asleep for, but I was starting to get bored even in here, so I decided to entertain myself a little. After all, that was what she was gonna be stuck there or anyway.
"Let us go!"
"Bismillah, No I will not let you go!"
"Let us go!"
"Bismillah, I will not let you go!"
"Let us go!"
"Will not let you go."
"Let us go!"
"Will not let you go."
"Let me-" She was interrupted by Queen's singing and eventual guitar and drums playing, which hilariously disgruntled her to tears. I had the feeling that if she could, she'd tear me limb from limb seven times from the look she was giving me. "One day... We are going to find our way out of this Tartarus hole and when we do, WE WILL GET OUR REVENGE ON THEE, AND WHEN WE DO, THOU WILL RUE THE NIGHTS THOU FORCED US TO BE THY'S DREAM PLAY TOY!!!"
"Riiiight. How're you gonna get out? Magic?"
"Yes! That's right! Thy hath no magic abilities! Fool! Because of thy blunder, we shall use our magic to-"
"High magic resistance."
"...What?"
"High magic resistance. I'm magic resistant. Meaning I am highly resistant to magic. Meaning it'd take a lot of magic to even have me in a magical grip, and even the princesses can't hold me for more than three minutes." The little hope she had in her eyes was extinguished in a blink. "That's right." I could've told her that I could still be hurt by physical means, but that'd be pointless.
"WE HATE THEE!!!! WE HATE THEE SO MUCH!!!" she screamed. A remote appeared in my hand as I pressed the mute button. I couldn't hear anything, but her mouth was moving a mile a minute. She noticed no sound was coming out.
"Xavier."
I could feel the world shaking.
"Xavier."
I looked at Clownmare Moon and waved at her. "Looks like my time here is up, I think."
"Xavier, we're here." The voice said, followed by more shaking.
"Yup. That confirms it. See ya tonight Nightma-"
*SLAP!*
"AH!! GODDAMNIT!!!" I yelled, rubbing the stinging sensation on the back of my neck. I was rudely awakened by my best friend and Rainbow's laughter.
"Jack! What was that for?! He was waking up!"
"Works every time. Heheh." Jack chuckled. Yeah, you'd better sleep with one eye open, Mr. Williams. I looked out of the window to find that we were at the train station. Jeff and bro had already stepped off of the train. We unexpectedly received a warmer welcome from some of those who remembered the four of us from the Gala last year, though specifically from the mares. We just smiled and waved our way to the palace, while the more upper crust ponies gave us the stink eye still. Then my waving hand turned into the waving middle finger. Dash chuckled at the antics, and Twilight raised an eyebrow at me.
I whispered to Dash. "You didn't tell her about what that hand gesture means, right?"
"Nope!" Good.
We were left alone for the most part as we walked through the palace grounds led by Twilight. How anyone would remember where to go and where to turn in this palace was beyond me. Shouldn't be surprised. It's Twilight we're talking about. It felt like we were going around in a maze. It was a quiet walk for even Pinkie didn't say anything. The silence was broken soon enough.
" ♪This is the hall that never ends. It just goes on and on my friends. ♪" Jack started singing
" ♪Some ponies started walking it, not knowing where it was, but they'll continue walking it, forever just because. ♪" Pinkie continued
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Jeff yelled.
After a while of endless walking, we found ourselves outdoors again, heading towards stairs that spiraled up a tall tower.
"She should be right up there." Twilight said. The three other human in the party groaned.
"You've gotta be kidding me!!"
"Seriously?"
"You shittin me?!"
"Okay. I'll carry you up there, Twi." I picked up the purple unicorn who squeaked when she was lifted and started walking.
I could hear my friends murmuring behind me. I payed it no mind as I kept walking. I did notice that Twilight was staring at me as I carried her. She looked concerned. It looked like she wanted to say something, but thought nothing of it afterwards as she got comfortable. The trekking lasted a good five minutes. When we reached the top, Twilight was really excited that she practically leaped out of my arms and in front of the door with the other girls. I, almost forgetting how high up I was, almost sat on the rails like a dumbass. Bro had to pull me off before I went overboard and fell backwards. It wasn't gonna be a short fall. When the door opened, the girls screamed "Surprise", literally scaring the consciousness out of her.
I had a good idea why Rarity was dressed up fancy, and it wasn't because of her 'sick' cat. Before Rarity woke up and closed the door, I was able to see Opalescence sitting on the bed looking as fine as ever, minus the makeup. I wasn't gonna say anything though. I'll let Twi and her friends handle this one.
"Well, I'm headed back down." I said, already on my way down the stairs.
"Why?"
"Because he almost fell over the rails." Bro stated.
"Yeah, that and I'm just bored."
"Just be at the Canterlot Castle Ballroom by seven!" Pinkie called out.
"Kay!"
The four of us went back down to the castle halls, and funny enough, we all ended up getting ourselves lost. There were so many turns, stairs, corners, dead ends, you name it. We've even passed Luna's and Celestia's rooms multiple times. Why?
"Hey uh.. should we ask for directions?" I asked.
"No."
"Nope."
"Fuck that shit!"
That's why. None of us wanted to ask for directions. I've lost count of how many guards and maids we passed by, some of them more than once. I noticed a trio of guards who were eager to stay out of our way. For any who plays Left 4 Dead, you know when you're the last one alive and you find yourself cornered by two hunters and a tank? That's the look those three had when they saw us, and they passed us quickly. What's their deal? When I turned to keep walking, I instantly felt the impact of a tackle. I didn't know what was happening, but it was really hard to breathe.
"XAVIER! WE ARE SO HAPPY TO SEE THEE! Thou should've told us that thou were coming for a visit!" Of course...
"Luna.. Can't breathe..." She quickly let go. I was well elevated from the ground before she did and ended up landing right on my ass. Ass + marble floor = not a good landing.
"We apologize for our excitement but it's been a while since we met in person, face to face. That and we worry about her giving thee any trouble."
"Yeah, I know. And she's not giving me any major trouble. Just her annoying monologues and constant begging for me to let her go. She's a clown now, and she is piiiiissed." I chuckled.
Luna nodded her head, trying her best not to laugh. "We see."
"Well, what do we have here?" Jack said, smirking.
"Looks like Moon Butt's got a thing for your bro, eh Trae?" Jeff said.
Luna's face had a tinge of red on her cheeks when she turned to the others. "'Tis not how it looks. We are merely best friends as thou would call it."
"More like close friends." Jack started.
"With benefits." Bro teased.
"Why are thou here in the first place?" Luna huffed.
"It's Twilight's birthday today and she wanted all of her friends to be involved at her party, but since Rarity had business here and couldn't make it back, Twi decided to bring the party here."
"We see."
"We're supposed to be there by seven, however, if we can't make it through this maze of a palace you have here, we might not even make the train back home." I explained.
"Thoust know that it is six fifty nine. We had already raised the moon." Fuck Twilight's gonna be pissed. "Just follow us. We will lead you there."
"What the hell is with all the 'we' and 'us' talk? Who else are we supposed to follow?" Jeff complained.
I shook my head as Luna frowned. "Jeff, it's just her quirk. Like yours is swearing in nearly every sentence."
"Owned."
After a while, we found our way to the ballroom. Everyone seemed to be having fun. Pinkie had her party cannon out while Rarity had a croquet mallet for some odd reason. Needless to say we were late to arriving to Twilight's party, and needless to say, Twilight wasn't happy with us at all. She teleported in front of us, or more so in front of me.
"You four are late! Do I need to lecture you again on the importance of punctuality?!"
We all looked at each other. Once again, I surprised the others with my lack o a witty comment or excuse. Instead, I got on my hands and knees in a dramatic Japanese apology. "Gomenasai. We got lost in the halls and no one wanted to ask for directions..."
This definitely caught Twilight by surprise. Rarity rolled her eyes. "What is with stallions and not asking for directions?" Shut up Rarity!
"Uh, Xavier. It's okay. You can get up now. In fact, we were about to join a party out in the gardens for Rarity with her business friends."
I got up to my feet as I heard Jeff say something about me being whipped. Shooting him a look, I nodded my head. "Sure. I don't see why not." When I followed the ponies out, we went to the gardens to find some of the upper crust ponies that the four of us tried not to associate ourselves with.
"Guys. Guys... I think we should kind've stay out of sight. If these ponies are cool with the girls, then we join in."
"You sure?" Jack asked.
"Yeah. Sounds like the best idea. I don't think these types are fans of ours." And with that, we watched our friends raise hell at the party. Pinkie hogging the cake with her face, Rainbow sucking at croquet, Fluttershy causing misfortune for any pony standing under a tree, Applejack being a farm girl, and Twilight doing... whatever the hell that was. Three of us tried to hold in our laughter. One of the upper crust, a white blue-maned mustached stallion wearing a monocle walked up to Twilight and started talking. We were too far to hear, but Rarity rudely interrupted them. Soon, the ponies were seperated. The uppercrust were on the side near us, while our friends were on the other side of the party.
-No one's POV-
The moment was tense for Rarity. On one side, were her friends from Ponyville who she's grown rather fond of and attached to, and were willing to stick with her through thick and thin. On the other side were some of the most powerful and most influential ponies of Canterlot who would no doubt help her achieve her true dreams of fame and fortune as a fashion designer, and ponies who shares the more sophisticated lifestyle she prefers. To everyone's surprise, even to some of the humans hidden somewhere, she chose her friends.
"Yes I do know them. They may not be sophisticated like you Canterlot ponies, but they are my best friends, and they are without a doubt the most important ponies I know."
And then this happened.
"Important ponies? These Ruffians?" One spectacled pony mocked.
"Don't make me laugh?" The mare beside him laughed with him. After a moment if obnoxious laughing, the two ponies felt an uneasy presence from behind them. when they turned around, four tall figures along with the Night Princess were standing around them.
"They're not important? I believe one of them is Princess Celestia's personal student. Question is, who the fuck are you?" One of them said.
As the mare's legs were shaking, the stallion spoke. "I am the famous Jet Set. Though I'm surprised even monsters like you've never heard of me."
"Nope. Jack, you ever heard of this guy?"
"Nah, what about you, Trae? Ever hear about a guy named Jet Set?" Jack said, looking at Trae.
"No, not really... oh wait, Xavier. Yes I have. Didn't some Fancy Pants say some Jet Set guy urged the guards to try to kill us?"
"WHAT?!"
"WHAAAT?!"
"NO WAY!!"
"Come 'gain?"
"*whimper*"
"You're THAT Jet Set?!"
"Oh right. I had nearly forgot about that." Xavier said. Now, Jet Set's legs were shaking even more than the mare's. All eyes were on them now.
Surprisingly, the mustached monocle stallion said something. "I say, if it weren't for you, those poor guards wouldn't have gotten hurt. And quite frankly, I admire Rarity for having a more diverse taste in her friends. She seems rather proud and happy to have them. It's more than I can say for you Jet Set."
"So are you going to stop behaving like a pompous douche who loves the smell of his own farts?" Xavier asked. "Or do you wanna have a bad time?"
Jet flinched at the sound of Jeff cracking his knuckles. "I-I think maybe we've been a l-little too harsh on Rarity's choice of f-friends. W-wouldn't you say, Upper Crust?"
"W-why certainly."
The humans backed off, leaving the stallion under the piercing glare of Princess Luna herself. "I believe Fancy Pants has a point. Thou are lucky we have enough mercy to make thee pay for our guards' injuries. Lt. Leatherwing is still limp from what your action caused." Her glare hardened. "Thou best believe we will be keeping an eye on thee, so be mindful of that in the future."
"Y...Y-Yes Princess!" He said, before skittering away like a roach with Upper Crust with his tail between his legs.
-Xavier's POV-
The party continued on and in a short amount of time it was as if there were no troubles at all. Pinkie had just finished eating the rest of the cake that coated her face whereas Rarity was mingling with the upper classed ponies. Fluttershy was feeding her new friends whereas Applejack had gone to clean herself after being told by her boyfriend that this wasn't that kind of party. Everyone was having fun. I was sitting against a tree, star gazing.
"Can you believe that guy?" Rainbow asked, walking up to sit beside me. "The nerve of that pony, calling the guards to attack you out of nowhere! He just assumed you were a monster!"
"Heheh, you're the one to talk." I teased. "Do I have to remind you how we first met? It took Fluttershy to get you to talk to me like a normal person."
"Hey! In my defense you were the one making ponies panic!"
"I know, and it was fun while it lasted." She giggled as I put her in a headlock.
"Xavier?" Twilight called from behind me, thus scaring the ever-living shit out of me.
"HOLY- Hey Twi.. what's up?"
She was staring at me with her brows furrowed. "I should be asking you the same. I've been meaning to talk to you about this for a while." This got both of our attention. "First was at the train station back in Ponyville when I was upset that you were late, you said you'd do better, and that was it."
"Okay, and?"
"Then, on the train, I said that you were paying for the train tickets. It was a joke, but you thought I was serious and was okay with it. Then you carried me up the tower stairs to see Rarity, and then there was that big apology that happened recently for being late." Her facial expression changed to that of one concerned. "I know you, and none of those are things are what you would normally do. Are you okay?"
Rainbow nodded to her question. "Yeah, X. You telling off that fancy flankhole was the only thing you did today that was normal. What gives?"
I shrugged. "Just figured that for your birthday, I'd give you a break, Twi." I really didn't expect that to become an issue.
"Well, can you please stop it and be yourself!?" she said, raising her voice near the end of her question. Well. Now it's my turn to be surprised. I usually love making Twilight raise her voice at my shenanigans, but I wasn't even trying anything, yet she sounded so serious and there was a hint of pain in her voice.
"I didn't really think it'd upset you, Sparkle Butt. What's up?"
"Well it is!" Twilight yelled, her voice cracking. "Ever since the intervention a while ago, I've been feeling awful about even using my friends to try to change any part of who you are, and today... well, today I-" I cut her off by putting a finger to her lips.
"I think I get it. Sorry for making you worry." I went back to watching the party. "Say, why aren't you uh... doing whatever you were doing earlier? Whatever that was." From the corner of my eye, I could see Twilight's face turning slightly red.
Dash laughed. "Yeah! Was that supposed to be dancing?"
Chuckling, I held up both of my hands. "Hey, I can only poke fun. I can't dance either. That's Jack's department."
"Oh really?" Rainbow continued laughing. "Now that I wanna see!"
"Oh, I only know a few dance moves, such as the robot, moon walk, and for humans that know they can't dance, the 'Shepard Shuffle'."
"Why don't you show us? You've already seen me dancing. I'd like to see how bad you are." Twilight added with a sly smirk.
"Nah, I'd rather not-"
"Think of it as a Birthday present." Damnit.. Fine, if it'll cheer you up..
And then I had proceeded to embarrass myself in front of everyone at the party with my lousy dance moves. No one ever let me live it down for the rest of the night.
...or in my sleep. Luna was still there too.