The Queen of Zebrica
Tremors shook the earth.
The ground shifted beneath the feet of the zebras were they formed massed columns leading to brilliant blue portals tearing the fabric of the world apart. The magic crackled and sparked as the zebras marched, in files of four or five or six, through the dozen portals that lay open and awaiting them. Old zebras with wrinkled coats, young zebras with tall manes, zebras with their children on their backs, zebras bearing heavy bundles of belongings, zebras pulling carts, zebras with spears, zebras draped in priestly robes; all of Zebrica was assembled here, waiting to depart from Zebrica, for the unknown that awaited them beyond those portals.
The ground shook beneath their feet, and the zebras cried out in panic, movement through the portals halting as the waiting zebras struggled to keep their hooves.
“Keep moving!” Queen Tynisa shouted, in a voice like a temple bell calling the faithful to worship. “These tremors are a message, and the message is: make haste!”
Queen Tynisa was not in any column. Her people, not only zebras but elephants, camels, even some horses, were arrayed in those deep, wide columns waiting to pass through the portal, but the Queen of Zebrica herself was not. Instead, she stood apart, attended by a dozen guards of the Most Faithful, fanned by an attendant with a palm leaf, while four more held a canopy above her head to protect her from the heat of the sun. One final servant bore a silver tray in one hoof, on which was placed a silver cup of sherbet from which the queen sipped as she watched her subjects march through those magic gates.
They stood not far from Qartash, the capital, and as the tremors rolled across the earth Tynisa could see the great statues that stood before the city gates, the guardian iamassu who had for generations defended her ancestors, quivering as though in the grip of a fever. Soon the tremors would be too strong, and the statues would topple along with the city that they protected.
“Alas, alas for Zebrica,” she murmured. “Alas that this should come in my time.”
Alas, indeed. There was much too alas for. Too much. The truth, if truth it was, was the sort of nightmare over which no ruler should have to preside. Through which no subject should have to live. The end of the world, the destruction of all things. And not even the end promised by the priests, when the sky mares would ride through the night and swallow up the moon and the sun would lead the faithful in one last great battle before all were carried into paradise, no. This was an end brought about entirely by their pony neighbours to the north, and there would be no paradise for any zebra. The only hope that remained to them was these blue magic portals, and the pony promise of a new world on the other side.
Some might have asked why the people who had, by their own admission, brought about the end of the world should be trusted to provide a new one…but Tynisa did not have much choice. It was either this or die, and what was the worst that could happen?
“They’re moving too slowly.”
Tynisa turned a baleful gaze upon the speaker, her guest, a pony princess from Equestria. The same pony who had brought the news of this, the same pony who had provided these magic portals. For that, Tynisa supposed she was owed thanks, but it was hard to feel grateful considering the sour news that she had given them. She was, Tynisa, supposed, about Tynisa’s own age, but a little smaller, and it was hard for Tynisa to consider the mare her equal. It was hard to consider her anything but a harbinger of ill news.
“My people are moving as fast as they can,” she declared imperiously, while she tried to remember the pony’s name. Sunlight? Midnight? Twilight, yes Twilight Sparkle.
“You’re carrying too much,” Twilight insisted. “Can’t you leave some of this behind?”
“We are taking what we must take with us,” Tynisa replied. “It is not as though we will be able to return for what we miss later. So we must bring food to eat while we establish ourselves, gold and silver to trade for the things we need to put down fresh roots in a new land, ploughs, wagons, our household gods, the histories of our people-“
“What?” Twilight demanded.
“Food-“
“No, the last two,” Twilight snapped. “Household gods? Histories? I love a good book as much as anyone, but we don’t have time for this. Everyone needs to get through as fast as possible, even if that means ditching stuff.”
“And what will be on the other side of these portals if we ditch all of that ‘stuff’?” Tynisa demanded.
“Alive,” Twilight said.
“Alive and empty,” Tynisa said. “Our culture lost, our heritage obliterated…would you have us become rootless drifters gradually losing all that makes us Zebrica as memory fades until nothing remains?”
“I would have you live,” Twilight said.
“And for that you have my thanks,” Tynisa said. “You had no need to come here, you had no need to offer us this way out. You could have left us to die. That you did not…I thank you. But Zebrica is mine, mine to rule and mine to preserve. I will decide how best to do that.”
Twilight frowned. “You really thought that we would leave you to die?”
Tynisa shrugged.
“We would never do that,” Twilight said. “That would be…monstrous.”
Another tremor rolled through the ground, though this time the march through the portals did not stop.
“You should think about leaving yourself,” Twilight said.
“Not until all of my subjects have gone through.”
“Who will lead your subjects if you die here?”
“Fate will bring forth a zebra of destiny to lead my people to a new era,” Tynisa declared breezily. “It is always thus.”
Twilight shook her head. “How can you be so calm about this?”
Tynisa almost laughed, but that would have been a breach of her decorum almost as great as weeping for all that was to be lost, and so she simply smirked and said, “Because I am queen.”
“I know,” Twilight said. “That’s why you need to go.”
“And that is why I cannot go,” Tynisa said. “Not until all others have gone.”
Twilight’s mouth tightened. “I see. I’m sorry about this.”
“Wh-“ Tynisa barely had time to open her mouth before the purple bolt from Twilight’s horn struck her, and then there was nothing but darkness.
Twilight frowned as the zebra queen collapsed. Fortunately the queen’s guards looked understanding. “Take care of her, won’t you? Get her to the other side? I think she’ll be needed.”
One of her guards scooped her up, and laid her over his back. “We shall. Thank you, princess.”
“Don’t thank me,” Twilight said. “If I deserved thanks it would be for making this unnecessary.”
“So, you’re the new ambassador to the savages, are you?” demanded Colonel Jumbo in a voice that was half nasal whine, half gruff growl, and as unpleasant as that combination sounds. He was a portly space pony, his belly straining against the restraint provided by his stained and unkempt uniform, with a bald head and a walrus moustache colonising his upper lip. His face was red – not his coat, which was beige, just his face – and stained with sweat, as though he found the desert heat to be more than usually intolerable. He sat at a small round table in the Officer’s Club at the barracks in El Alamane, the only occupant of the bar this early in the afternoon, nursing a stiff scotch unleavened by any water or soda. His eyes were small to the point of being piggy, and he glared out with them from underneath a pair of bushy eyebrows.
“I don’t know anything about any savages,” Pinkie said. “I’m the new ambassador to the zebras.”
Jumbo scowled. “What did you say your rank was?”
“I’m Executive Captain Pinkie Pie, and this is my big sister Maud!”
“I’m not actually in Starfleet,” Maud said.
“Hmm,” Jumbo growled. “Where you trying to be funny just then?”
“No,” Pinkie said. “I’m sorry, did you want me to be funny, because I can be funny, in fact I love being funny. Have you heard the one about the-“
“No,” Jumbo snapped. “Listen here, Executive Captain, I happen to be a crowned colonel, so don’t think you can go being funny with me just because you’re taking my job, got it?”
“Aww, but I like being funny,” Pinkie murmured.
Jumbo snorted. “For my sins, I’m supposed to brief you on what you can expect amongst the savages before you take up your post.”
“But I told you sir, I’m not visiting any savages. I’m the ambassador to-“
“You’re a bit of an idiot, aren’t you?” Jumbo said.
“Please don’t talk about my sister that way,” Maud said. Her tone remained as even as it ever was, her face remained a blank, devoid of expression…to the untrained eye, at least. The careful observer, like the little sister who had known her for years, could tell that her face had become a little more stony than usual.
Pinkie also noticed that one of Maud’s hands had clenched into a fist.
Colonel Jumbo did not appear to notice. He knocked back the last of his scotch and pounded on the table. “Hey you! Bring me another, and make it snappy!”
Why? You didn’t ask for an alligator sandwich. Pinkie didn’t say that. As a joke, it could do with a little refinement. Hmm…a pony walks into a bar and says ‘Do you serve alligator sandwiches?’-
“You’ll find the zebras to be a difficult lot,” Jumbo said. “Full of themselves is what they are. Especially their queen. Prances around like she owns the place, no respect. No respect at all. Arrogant, is what they are. Arrogant to the bone.”
“Yes, it’s terrible when people think they’re so much better than you for no reason, isn’t it?” Maud asked, in a tone that would not have been recognised as sarcasm by anyone who wasn’t a member of the Pie family.
Jumbo nodded, seeming pleased to find someone who agreed with him. He began to warm to his theme. “You know what the problem with the stripebacks is, captain? There’s not a shred of gratitude! I mean we give them an escape from the destruction of their world, we’re even good enough to offer to share, to share mark you, our planet with them. We only place the most reasonable of restrictions of their behaviour and what do they do? They complain, and they whine and they talk about their pride and their honour and all this nonsense. I mean it’s enough to drive an honest pony to drink. Thank you.” That last was to the steward who brought him his second scotch. “Now, as ambassador your job is to make sure that these stripeys don’t get too big for their horseshoes, you understand? Show them their place, keep your foot on them, and always remember that you’re better than them…well, not as good as some of us, of course, but better than they are nevertheless. Just treat them with contempt and you’ll do very well.”
Pinkie blinked. But why would I want to treat anyone with contempt? How am I supposed to make new friends that way? The truth was she wasn’t sure that she even knew how to go about treating people with contempt. It wasn’t something that she’d ever wanted to do before. It wasn’t something that she’d ever thought that she’d need to do before.
Twilight had told her once that being an ambassador was essentially someone whose job it was to help countries to make friends. But how were you supposed to make friends with someone if you held them in contempt and let them know it? How were you supposed to do anything but make them hate you that way?
For a moment, Pinkie wondered if that was what Starfleet wanted, for the zebras to hate them. But she dismissed the notion after a moment. After all, she knew from experience that Starfleet was pretty terrible when it came to making friends, but that didn’t mean that they didn’t want to. It just meant that they didn’t know how, which was why it was important to help the ones who wanted to learn by throwing super-duper parties for them. That had almost worked on Lightning Dawn, after all. So probably the Colonel just didn’t know how to make friends any more than most other space ponies did.
Well, Starfleet did like their rules, but Pinkie was sure that if she made friends with the zebras somehow then nobody would really mind that she hadn’t done it exactly the way that she’d been told to.
She hoped so, anyway.
“I understand, sir,” she chirruped.
“Good,” Jumbo said. “The same transport that brought me back here will take you down there. You’ll find the stripebacks waiting outside the perimeter for you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have…I have a lot of work to be getting on with.” He gestured to the table before him, a table that was empty apart from his glass of scotch.
“Okie Dokie Lokie,” Pinkie cried. “See you around, colonel!”
Colonel Jumbo grunted, and looked away as Pinkie and Maud left the Officer’s Club.
El Alamane was a Starfleet outpost, the southernmost Starfleet outpost before Zebrica, but apart from the sand and the way the hot sun beat down with an intensity that you didn’t really get in United Equestria, you could have been in New Ponyville…no, you couldn’t have been in New Ponyville because in New Ponyville were all of Pinkie’s friends and she could have bounced down the street saying hello to everypony – sorry, everybody – and everypo-body would have said hello to her and wished her a good day with whatever it was she was up to. This was not New Ponyville, the only folks here were Starfleet ponies she didn’t know, standing sentry, patrolling the base perimeter, driving rattling tanks or fast trucks in and out.
It wasn’t New Ponyville, but it was like a lot of places in United Equestria had become, or were becoming: there was a donut shop, and a café, and even a movie theatre proudly announcing new showings of Twilightfall, even though that movie had been out for ages in United Equestria, and most cinemas had stopped running it.
“Did you ever actually watch those movies?” Maud asked, gesturing towards the theatre. “They way they treated you was terrible.”
“As long as folks were happy when they left, that’s all that matters,” Pinkie said. “They can think what they want about me so long as they’re enjoying themselves.”
“But they’ll think that you’re stupid,” Maud murmured.
Pinkie shrugged. “Does it matter?”
Maud blinked. “You’re a better person than they deserve, Pinkie.”
“That can’t be true,” Pinkie said. “Because everyone deserves the best. So, are you excited about going to Zebrica?”
“Not really,” Maud admitted. “All of this sand…I haven’t seen many rocks recently.”
“Well there’s bound to be some rocks once we get there,” Pinkie replied. “You can’t build a house out of sand, right?”
“I hope so,” Maud said. “Boulder’s getting awfully lonely.”
They wandered out of the camp, under the watchful eye of Starfleet sentries, to where a giant metal vehicle was waiting for them. It had tracks, four sets of them, and it looked as thought it had been put together in a bit of a rush, with bits of metal welded together all higgledy-piggledy, overlapping one another and such. It looked a bit like a slug on tracks, except where slugs had a bulbous head, this thing bulged most towards the middle.
A pair of zebras, with goggles over their eyes, stood in front of the metal slug.
“You must be the new ambassador,” one of them said.
“Yep yep yep,” Pinkie cried. “My name’s Pinkie Pie, and this is my big sister Maud! It’s great to meet you!”
“Hello,” Maud murmured.
Neither of the two zebras seemed all that pleased to see her. “Climb in,” one of them said.
“Okie dokie lokie,” Pinkie said, as she and Maud climbed into the central air of the giant crawler. The interior was grey, and a little dark, with functional but uncomfortable metal seats. Still, there were some very big windows, and Pinkie sat down next to one, hopeful of a good view later on.
They were separated from where Pinkie guessed the drivers went, but from the other side of the metal wall Pinkie could hear some thudding and thumping.
There was a moment of silence, then the crawler began to shake. Really shake, like an earthquake shake. Maud, sitting next to Pinkie, looked ever so slightly worried. There was a coughing sound, then a belching sound, then a little bit of smoke began to seep in…and then, with a sound like an old dragon stirring himself to life after a good long sleep, the crawler began to move. They were on their way.
Team Sentinel glided through the air, the clouds passing beneath them as they kept to a high altitude.
They were armed and armoured. All equipment was in order, and tailored to the individual specialities of the sentinel units. Sentinel Two: no weapons, uniforce and innate strength sufficient, special armour that provided protection while simultaneously mimicking innate changeling shapeshifting abilities. One Delta: two axes secured to back, cursory analysis of weight and material suggested that he alone possessed strength to use both simultaneously. One Bravo: gloves to enhance shield generating abilities, same changeling-compatible armour as Sentinel Two. One Charlie: datapad capable of universal interface with hostile computer systems, drone capable of limited independent action secured to back; he was also still wearing glasses, despite lack of purpose. One Alpha: repeating crossbow with a variety of ammunition types, including explosive and EMP tipped quarrels.
They were prepared for anything. But their target was not prepared for them.
Twilight is my bestest friend whoopee, whoopee!
Sentinel Three shook her head. Those were not her memories. They could affect her decision making. They should not.
The cutest, smartest, all around best pony, pony.
Not me, Three thought. That is not my memory, that is not three she spoke of. I am not Twilight Sparkle. I am myself.
Then why do I have more of Twilight’s memories than of my own?
They were heading south, crossing the fields and cities of United Equestria at such high altitude that it was unlikely that they would be spotted, either by the naked eye that they were flying above, or even by sophisticated detection equipment. All their suits were equipped with stealth technology to help them avoid such. They would head to New Qartash, the capital of Zebrica, and eliminate Pinkie Pie and Queen Tynisa in one stroke.
That was their mission. That was their purpose.
Twilight saved Tynisa. I will destroy her.
Because I am not Twilight.
But I remember everything she did.
This is purpose.
Then why am I not content?
“Woah, woah, woah!” Delta’s voice, loud and sharp, cut through Three’s existential musings. “Everybody hold up!”
One Alpha’s magenta wings spread out as she came to a halt, crossbow raised. “What is it? Are we under attack?”
“I’ll be right back,” Delta said, banking into a steep dive downwards, bursting through a thick grey cloud that obscured him from the rest of Team Sentinel.
“One Delta!” Two snapped. “Resume formation! One Delta, respond!”
“Maybe he’s seen something?” One Charlie suggested. He raised his datapad. “Scans aren’t picking up anything though.”
“Perhaps they have stealth tech like us,” One Bravo muttered. She had her shield on one arm, and was generating a bubble of energy in her other hand, using her white wings to rotate lazily in place. Three observed that she was chewing gum.
“That is unlikely,” Two said. “How would they have acquired it?”
“Speculation is pointless,” Three declared. “We will pursue One Delta and determine what caused his sudden reaction.”
Two nodded. “Affirmative.”
They dropped down through the clouds, swiftly catching sight of One Delta as he flew downwards like an arrow. There was no sign of any hostile forces, but he was moving downwards with great purpose and speed. Due to the lead that he had already gained on them, he easily reached the surface before them. They found him standing outside a large brick building lit up with many neon lights that, from Twilight Sparkle’s memories, Three was able to identify as a burger bar.
“Hello customer, welcome to SpaceBurger, for all your burger needs,” a robotic voice said from out of the kiosk. “May I process your order?”
“Yeah, can I get an extra large burger royale meal with extra cheese, no pickles and piri-piri fries,” One Delta said. “An extra large New Appleoosa burger meal with hay fries, a double bacon starmuffin meal, an extra large regular fries and a chicken starnuggets.”
“Please specify your drinks.”
“Did you just get us all worried because you wanted to stop for food?” Alpha demanded. “You moron.”
“Hey, these muscles don’t support themselves, you know,” Delta said. “I need protein.”
“We are well supplied with protein bars,” Two observed.
“The protein bars suck,” Delta replied. “Now stop interrupting, you’ll make the robot forget my order. How many drinks can I get?”
“Three.”
“Okay, I’ll have a coke, a tango and a coffee.”
“Can I get in on this,” One Bravo said. “What are the toys that come with the Starfleet Happy Meals?”
“Each Happy Meal comes with a randomised toy,” the robotic kiosk announced. “Depicting one of the heroes of Starfleet from the blockbusting Starfleet Magic television and movie franchise. Happy Meals are offered in conjunction with Starfleet: protecting your world for a better tomorrow.”
“I’ll take ten Starfleet Happy Meals.”
“Are you going to eat all of those?” Charlie asked tremulously.
“No, you can have some if you want, but the toys are all mine.”
“How do you intend to pay for all of these?” Two demanded.
Charlie raised his hand. “I hacked into Starfleet financial records…I know all the credit card numbers for the members of the science division.”
“Really? I should have ordered more food.”
“What are the dessert options?” Alpha asked.
“Oh, now who’s the moron?”
“I would be, if I didn’t eat while everyone else is eating.”
Two sighed, and put his head in his hands.
Three, on the other hand, began to laugh.
“I fail to see what is so amusing about this situation,” Two said.
Three smiled. “We are being derelict in our purpose, our presence here is irrelevant to our mission and assignment. And yet…I am not troubled. Instead, I am happy.”
“That’s nice, I guess,” Delta said. “Do you want anything to eat?”
Pinkie gasped as she pressed her face up against the window. “Look at this, Maud! Isn’t this amazing!”
The juddering, shaking crawler – it seemed to shudder and shake more every day, to the point that sometimes it seemed that the two zebras wouldn’t be able to get in started again – was passing not too far from a great river, cutting through the desert. Here the sand was blooming, with palm trees and flowers and crops and fruits and all kinds of things. Crocodiles swam lazily in the sapphire water. Hippopotami yawned. Flocks of pink flamingos rose into the sky, flecking the blue with colour. The monotony of the desert was exchanged for a riot of shades as the water spread its life out across the sands and brought forth bounty from it.
“Fluttershy would have loved this,” Pinkie said as a pair of cockatoos flew past. Lions stalked upon the plains, gazelles ran, buffalos stampeded, elephants and rhinos ambled past. And zebras, of course. Zebras where hard at work in the fields by the river, tilling and planting. They were aided by some vehicles, each of them belching smoke into the air as they shook and rattled almost as badly as the zebra crawler did. Pinkie wondered what the matter with them all was. It was a pity, really, because they did disturb the landscape a little bit…but not too much. There weren’t too many of them, after all, and mostly they left the land alone to be beautiful. So beautiful even Rarity would have probably found something to appreciate.
Fluttershy. Rarity. Thinking about her friends brought a frown to Pinkie’s face, and she turned away from the window to slump back into her chair.
She held a hand upon her own, and looked up to see Maud staring at her intently.
“What’s the matter?” Maud asked. “Didn’t you enjoy the view?”
Pinkie nodded. “But then I started thinking about my friends, and how much they’d like to see this too. And that made me sad.”
Maud nodded. “I understand.”
“Not that I’m not glad that you’re here!” Pinkie said quickly. “I love that you’ve come with me, it’s just-“
“Pinkie, it’s okay,” Maud said. She almost smiled. “I know how much you love your friends, and you wouldn’t be you if you didn’t miss them. I…I like being with you, but I don’t like why I had to come here. Pinkie, do you think things will be okay?”
Pinkie opened her mouth to say that of course they would…but the words wouldn’t come. “I don’t know. I used to think they would, but…without Twilight…”
“Tell me things will be okay,” Maud said. “Please.”
Ah. Now Pinkie understood what her sister was asking her. So she smiled. “Don’t worry, Maud. Thing will be okay for sure!”
“Thank you, Pinkie.”
“Aww, come here,” Pinkie cried as she pulled her big sister into a hug. “So long as we’re together, we’ll be fine, right?”
“Sure,” Maud murmured. “We’re like chalk and flint.”
“Huh?”
“They’re rocks that are really different, but they go really well together.”
“Wow, just like us.”
“Yes, Pinkie, just like us.”
After fourteen days of travel, stopping at night, the quivering crawler, that was rattling along so badly that it seemed that it was about to fall apart, they arrived at a towering palace set on the outskirts of a great city. Ziggurats and pyramids of yellow stone rose up towards the sun, made of a yellow stone that seemed to half gleam in the sunlight. The walls of palace and city were white, and they really did shine as the sunlight struck them. Black statues showing winged lions with zebra heads and curled beards stood guard outside the entrances, while other statues of zebras and lions and elephants stood decoratively around fountains. Zebras rich and poor, in cloth and in gold and jewels, bustled through the city streets and in and out of looming palace. It was strange to see so many people on all fours again. In fact it was strange to see nobody walking on two legs here, but Pinkie couldn’t see a single one. Zebras hadn’t converted the way that ponies had, she wasn’t sure if they’d said no or hadn’t been given the chance. She supposed that she could find out.
“Agglomerated limestone concrete,” Maud murmured. “Interesting.”
“Huh?”
“Those stones,” Maud said, gesturing to many of the buildings, made of the same yellow stone that formed the pyramids and the ziggurats. “They look like their made of blocks of limestone, but they’re not. They’re actually made of artificial stones, shaped to look like rocks.”
“Is that good or bad?”
“Limestone is one of my favourite sediments,” Maud said. “It’s a pity they haven’t used it naturally, but it is interesting what they’ve done.”
The door into and out of the crawler began to open. It shook, lowered a little, stopped, shook again, then fell off its hinges to land with a clatter on the ground.
“ZEPH! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY BEAUTIFUL SAND CRAWLER!”
Pinkie and Maud stuck their heads out of the door to see that the irate voice belonged to, strangely enough, a zebra on two legs, wearing a black crop-top that left her midriff exposed, with a pair of goggles over her head and a jacket tied around her waist, just above her shorts. She clutched a wrench in one hand, which was trembling her grip as she yelled.
The two zebra drivers came down. One of them, Zeph she guessed, glowered at her.
“Hey, it’s not our fault that you’re stupid machine doesn’t work properly,” he said. “Stupid thing nearly broke down getting back here.”
“Did you wash out the intake every day like I told you to?”
The two drivers looked at one another. “Um…”
“You didn’t, did you?”
“No,” Zeph admitted.
The bipedal zebra growled. “The reason it sounds like its dying is because you’ve let sand build up in the engine. If you do that then of course it won’t run right. That’s why I told you to keep it clean.”
“Well, why couldn’t you just design an engine that wouldn’t get sand in?”
“Because we’re in a desert, genius, there’s sand everywhere,” snapped the zebra with the wrench. “You’d better clean this out before I tell Her Majesty that you broke one of her transports.”
The two zebras snapped to attention. “Yes ma’am!”
The zebra with the wrench snorted. Then she turned her attention to Pinkie and Maud, and instantly her stern expression softened. She had blue eyes, and they twinkled a little as she smiled. “Hey there, you must be the new Starfleet ambassadors.”
Pinkie leapt down from the crawler, landing with a soft thump in the sand. “I sure am. My name’s Pinkie Pie, and this is my big sister Maud!”
The zebra’s eyebrow rose. “Starfleet officers usually introduce themselves by their rank.”
“It doesn’t matter what rank I am,” Pinkie said. “What matters is that I’m me. And Maud isn’t even a member of Starfleet.”
“You might say I’m here on vacation,” Maud said in a voice as dry as the desert.
The zebra chuckled. “Well, my name is Sephora, but everyone around here calls me Hands, you can guess why. I’m Queen Tynisa’s chief mechanic, and I’ll take you to Her Majesty right now.”
“What about our stuff?” Maud asked.
“Someone will take care of that, don’t worry,” Sephora said. She gestured for them to come with her. “Follow me, please.”
The two ponies followed the zebra towards the palace, where the statues of the winged lions loomed over them.
“Onyx,” Maud said, running one hand over the black plinth of the statues.
“Huh?” Sephora asked.
“I like rocks,” Maud explained.
“Oh, I see,” Sephora said, as though she saw but didn’t really understand. She led through streets crowded with zebras, through squares over which bipedal mechas stood guard. They belched smoke out of chimney stacks on their backs, and as they patrolled up and down Pinkie saw that each one had four arms: two arms with hands, like a modified pony, and two arms with weapons on them, either guns or swords or a mixture of both.
Looking up, she could see that there were weapons mounted on the walls, pointed up towards the sky.
“You’re well armed,” she murmured.
“Less well than Starfleet, I think,” Sephora replied, with a bit of an edge entering into her voice. “We have to be prepared.”
“You’re preparations are very loud,” Maud observed.
Sephora shrugged. “We don’t have the advantages of your Starfleet technology. We only started industrialising when we came here a few years ago, so development is still in its infancy. That’s why everything looks a little ramshackle. We’re figuring this stuff out as we go.”
She led them inside the palace, under the watchful eyes of a pair of clanking, smoking, creaking mechs, that turned to observe them as they passed beneath the archway. The doors were bronze, and opened by a quartet of zebras with spears that seemed really weird what with the mechs outside and all. Inside, the corridor walls had scenes carved into them: hunting, fighting, planting, harvesting.
“You wouldn’t believe all of this was brand new, would you?” Sephora asked. “Queen Tynisa had everything recreated exactly as it was. “She was insistent.”
“The weathering effect you’ve achieved is remarkable,” Maud said.
“Don’t ask me how they did it.”
“I can guess,” Maud said.
As Sephora led them through the palace, it became increasingly obvious that she was the only zebra to stand on two legs; the absolute only one. So much so that it begged the question of why, and only a degree of politeness kept Pinkie from asking.
Still, it must have been obvious, because Sephora laughed and said, “You want to know why I’ve got hands, don’t you?”
“Kinda.”
“I studied engineering at the New Maresachussetts Institute of Technology for a couple of years,” Sephora said. “Body mods were compulsory for all foreign students. It makes being back here a little weird, but…this is home. No place like it, right? And I did get a good job from Her Majesty. It gets me noticed, but people noticed that I was a zebra in United Equestria. Honestly, I prefer Hands to Stripeback.” She frowned at them both. “This way.”
She led the two ponies to the threshold of a grand throne room, built from the same limestone thingy that Maud had talked about earlier judging by the look of it, a crimson carpet running down the centre of the room, and guards in gleaming golden armour lining the column that held up the ceiling, columns carved into the shape of lions on their hind legs, paws ready to pounce.
At the back of the room, being fanned by a pair of attendants with palm leaves, sat a zebra on a golden throne who was probably the queen, since the real queen would probably have been mad if anyone else had sat on her throne while she was away. She’d been younger than Pinkie was expecting, only about her age, with what looked like a pretty heavy cape draped over her body, and a really, really big golden necklace hanging from her neck, set with rubies and sapphires and emeralds and diamonds too. Gold earrings dangled from her ears, and her mane was styled into a tiara shape at the front, with pearls set in it. There were teardrops painted down one side of her face, dripping in blue from her left eye, while on the other side had been painted a tusk growing out of the right side of her mouth.
“Your Majesty, Queen Tynisa,” Sephora declared. “I present the new Starfleet ambassadors, Pinkie Pie and Maud Pie.”
“Hello,” Maud murmured, as all eyes turned towards them. Pinkie couldn’t help but notice that most of the eyes were hostile.
Queen Tynisa sat up a little. “Approach,” she said, her voice cold in this warm place.
Pinkie walked forward. “Hi there,” she said. “My name’s Pinkie Pie, and I’m here to-“
“To tell us how inferior we are, no doubt,” Tynisa said. “That was how your predecessor spent much of his time.”
Pinkie blinked. “I wouldn’t ever do anything like that, I’m-“
“Starfleet,” Tynisa snapped. “You bring your arrogance, your contempt, you bring the promise of war between your people and mine. Or why else must we build machines of battle and mount weapons on our walls?”
“I thought it was maybe because you thought robots were cool,” Pinkie suggested
Tynisa glared at her. “It is because Starfleet threatens us. You have so much military might and yet you seek to impose treaties restricting our own. I ask you, as I ask your predecessor, if you would not feel threatened by a military colossus on your border.”
“Probably,” Pinkie admitted. “But that doesn’t mean that the answer is for you to become a military colossussusus as well.”
“Indeed? Then what is the answer?”
“For us all to become good friends,” Pinkie declared. “Then we could all get rid of our weapons because we wouldn’t need them any more.”
Tynisa blinked. “You are not the first to speak so to me, though I had not thought to hear it from Starfleet’s official representative to my court. Did you say your name was…Pinkie Pie?”
“Yes indeedy!”
“I have heard that name before,” Tynisa said. “Were you acquainted with Princess Twilight Sparkle?”
Pinkie gasped. “You knew Twilight.”
“A little, though she spoke of you often,” Tynisa said. “Perhaps it is fate that has brought you here to us. Welcome to my court, Pinkie Pie. Let us hope that you fair better than your predecessor.”