Twilight Sparkle is dead. She died in battle, fighting to preserve the uneasy union on United Equestria between the pony races of old Equestria and the space ponies of Unicornicopia.
But in the wake of Twilight's death, the harmony she strove for has not endured. Using their control of the might armed organisation Starfleet, the Unicornicopian grip upon the land has only gotten tighter. Celestia is isolated, Twilight's friends are scattered, across the stars millions live or die at the whim of the Grand Ruler and his proconsuls.
Project Sentinel is the next step in the evolution of Starfleet, a perfect defence against a hostile universe: clone soldiers created from the DNA of the very best that ponykind has to offer. One such clone, Eve, is a physical copy of Twilight, with enhanced strength and none of the pesky moral qualms that made the real Twilight so annoying for Starfleet to deal with. When Eve, together with a small group of fellow clones, breaks free to search for deeper meaning in her existence, she sets off a chain of events that may allow all of Equestria to break free from tyranny, and all ponies to choose their own destinies once more.
Based on the My Brave Pony: Starfleet Magic universe by Dakari King Mykan, credit to him for most of the OCs
You should make sure that this won't be as bad as the normal My Brave Pony. I would suggest reading this story for help.
6223716
If I'm reading the summary right... "Starfleet" is in deep horsespples, and rightly so.
Makes me wonder how they got their foot in the door in the first place. I think I will face this and thumb up it.
Down with the false god, down with the Three-Horned Tyrant! Long Live Equestria, Long Live the Princesses!
I was about to ignore this story when I saw the 'Brave Pony Starfleet' title. Then I saw who the author was. I was, understandably, confused and wanted to know what the heck was going on.
I'm glad I did.
6223933
Tell me about it, this is going to be good
6223716
I have read that actually, it's pretty good. It's just a pity that the author hasn't updated in a while; not that I would ever do anything like that *cough*Comes the Sunset*cough*
6223771
Depends on whether you mean how or why. How...if you've read Mykan's fics then what happened up to the death of Twilight is broadly 'canon' (fortunately Mykan doesn't go into how his characters feel so there's a lot of interpretative space to work with), and the remainder of SFMIII also broadly happened, with differences that will be explained as they come up.
Why...well, that will be explained in future installments.
6223933
Surprised because it wasn't Mykan posting or surprised because you knew any of my other work?
6226352 Surprised because I knew of your other work, that you're much better than Mykan, and was confused and curious.
6226386
It's a plot-bunny that wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote something down about it. So I did.
6226449 But, ah…is Mykan aware of this?
6226352
I haven't really read his stuff, mostly skimmed the TVTropes pages... and yeah not impressed and I seriously hope you can do the characters (even his OCs) far more justice then him.
6226465
No, but if he finds out then I'm sure there'll be a character called Scipio getting his just deserts in Season Five.
On a more serious note, I know that this would be a dick move if done to anyone else, but Mykan...I think that if you write your critics into your stories so you can punish them appropriately you lose all right to seek sanctuary behind standards of decency.
6226477
The big question facing me at the moment is whether to treat the OCs as outright villains or to try and make them likeable but misguided. I'm properly going to try both on a case by case basis.
6230309
Celesto is probably be an outright villain I suppose. Still man I wish ya luck with this.
6230309 Eh, fuck him.
Animus? Don't you mean animosity?
So I'm going to need to look up a lot of the MLU characters, but that's not an insurmountable issue.
My opinion on "Star Fleet" has gone down though it does seem Lightning had his own thoughts.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
6333152
Sorry about that. I'll remember to put more detail in about them in later chapters
6336414
Thanks, and comparing to what we saw here with what I can gather on TVTropes, you really are fleshing them out
6336523
Well there wouldn't be a lot of point to this if I was going to deliberately leave them as flat as they were before.
6340108
Point, and with as flat as they are in M-canon you got a lot of room to flesh them out.
Wow, this is sort of what I am doing...only cooler, and with less clop. I am so going to read this!!!!!!!
I wish you the best of luck with this and see what you can do!
6393751
Thanks!
And I am faving this so hard!!!!!!
The story, the intrigued, everything is set up to put this into quite an adventure!!!
Wow! You completely said no to his Rainbow rocks 'adapation'...Good Job, I approve! I also like the fact that you hd the guts to add in some season 4 (
) material while he didn't. O love the moment with Celestia here, it feels so natural and strong, as its something I beleiv wholeheartly with this universe.
6230309
That is the best way, because I think anybody could make a bad character work if they try hard enough.
Yeah, none of his fics are good but the two Equestria Girls ones really take the cake, so I'm paying as little attention to them as possible.
Oh, this is too sweet. I love it. How the world of Equestria is messing with Lighting's beliefs, how the mane si are showing their true friendship through it all. I also like the fact that you changed somethings (i.e Spike is now sans dragon armor, isn't engaged to Rarity [yeah, they're engaged in the fics now.], and that you are giving some personality to each of the characters.
6395056
He still has the rank he got at the end of III, that's how he can get sent to
VietnamRangiveria, but even if he does have a supermode he's still just a kid and sending him off to war isn't really cool.Yeah, I know, and it's all kinds of messed up. See above about him being just a kid.
And Starlight Glimmer is more likely to stab ponies in the back to rise in the ranks than her fellow Equestriani.
Also... Sunset Shimmer with great pride I give you the title of Celestia's Paladin, you are now her sword and shield. Bring back the light.
I can start seeing how this could play out in my world. Sunset would not be the only one planing on overthrowing the Grand Ruler. She wasn't the only one to be on the other side.
So I have just finished reading all that there currently is, and I am quite happy with what I see. I do so love a good political game, and Sunset Shimmer and Luna are the two I find most easily fitting into said game. I also like how Lightning Dawn has been changed oh so gradually. United Equestria, or rather Starfleet itself, is tyrannical, but poison has always been the favored bane for tyrants. How appropriate that it should begin with Lightning.
And the math problem seems to come from a story problem I've read that the North Koreans' used.
Yeah not seeing the love for Starfleet. Plans are being made, the Revolution will come and no pony shall be a slave.
Wow, that...that insult hurt more than I thought it would. I don't know why.
Dang straight! It hurts right now, and darn you for being so good to keep me invested in my girls to feel this way.
Dang this is getting good!
6542366
I'm quite happy to see someone else enjoying this.
Are you also making plans to overthrowing Starfleet?
6542722
Don't worry, I am too. I think sometimes, its even better than me.
6542778
What? Liking it or making plans?
6542824
liking it
6542240 Really? I didn't know that, but it doesn't surprise me. I actually got the idea from the Confederate States during the American Civil War.
6542778
I think they're too different to really compare; I could never have created Dark Conquest, because to be honest he just creeps me out too much.
6544210
Pulled off North Korea's TVTropes page.
6544832
Jesus Christ.
6548592
You at least understand that being compared to North Korea or Nazi Germany is a bad thing.
Some comments.
I don't know why, but I really liked Cerise Wonder and her character. Reminds me of Roy Mustang for some odd reason. Strange, since I was reading her voice in my head with the voice of Riza Hawkeye, and it fit somehow. I just loved how Twilight's plan wasn't so much battle stadgety, but making it so that they have to fight together. Its almost like she took her own experience (being thrust into a hero sequence with five mares she hardly knew) and put it to use here.
Fluttershy, I won't lie, I was geniunely scared that Rhymey was gonna hit her. But what you just wrote and did was so much better, making her feel less than pony and more like an object. It geninuenly give the feeling of dread withing the material.
Clingy? Gee I wonder who he could be, getting himself a Section 8. Good to see that there are Unicorpians that thing something is rotten.
6570724
Same here, I am getting a Mustang vibe from her. And yes Rhymey is a right bastard. I having to keep one of my OCs (Flutter's uncle) from killing him in my mind.
6570724
6571176
Cerise is a Mykan OC, she appears in one chapter of SFMII, but yes I did base my take on her and Havoc on a sort of genderflipped Mustang and Hawkeye (when she becomes Grand Ruler all male officers will be shirtless).
6573625
Lets hope you treat her better than Mykan. If I remember correctly the original series is rather sexist, which could explain quite a bit of why Cerise and Twilight weren't being listened to.
6573877
Well, in Twilight's case there's the racism as well, but yeah.
6573975
That too.
That frakking, Angels-be-damned, unforgiving, egotistical bastard. He...he managed to do the one thing not even Discord could do, break Celestia. By Law and Tradition he is a traitor.
Yep, you made sure no one will like him
Oh, I got a lot to say about this one.
First off, the whole opening, the whole thing, just makes me hate GR more than I already did. At the same time, his interactions with his child and his people make me think of Titan from "the immortal game." His ego, his attidude and his way puts that into my head. What's more, I lie how his feelings with evil and death closely resemble Mykan's (I should know, I have had a few convos about this thing with him.)
First thought upon reading this...I want that mother fraker GR deader than a pancake!!!! Also-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=je4nDvNJXsg
All for hugging Leilani say aye! And I feel bad for everytime I have ever called her an abomination.
You did one heck of a good job on this. It felt very true to come movies I had seen and some of the innuendo, well...lets just say I ad some disturbing thoughts I did not want to think about. Of course, reading all of the above does make me curious as to how far into the future of Starfleet we are and how old the twins are.
6598550
Aye she deserves all the hugs we can give her.
I'm thinking it's not too far and that the twins are not much older than the CMC are now. Say no more than 10 years since season 2 if we think Myka's original story is AU after Discord's defeat.
God, just trying to work this into my own universe is even more heartbreaking. Celesto would be put to the sword
6598333
Just because I made Lightning slightly sympathetic doesn't mean I can't set someone up as a punching bag. And who better than the guy at the top.
6598550
On Leilani: I couldn't make all the OCs awful because then I'd be just as bad as Mykan. I was originally going to say that she and her brother had been artificially aged up by growth hormones/magic by her father, and she had had a bad reaction to it that was the reason she was kept in seclusion, but in the end I decided that that might be a bit too OTT. She probably is a bit too old, but I wanted her to be able to have meaningful interactions with Sunset rather than just gurgling.
6600846
Doesn't help that Celesto is Mykan, which makes it too easy.
And the sad thing is that you are doing a better job at fleshing out the OCs than Mykan. Even if it is to make them bad.
6600986
Celesto is NOT me... just because he is VOICED by me (Fictionally speaking) doesn't mean he IS ME
I already have an ACTUAL Mykan in the series now, at least a human version a pony version is being created.
Both of which are still not really me.