No Romance For Twilight Sparkle
By CrazyRandomPony
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The sun hung high in the sky, pouring it's heat upon the fields, washing everything in incredible golden light and warmth. The grass flowed gently in the breeze, little dandelion fluffs ever so often landing on a pony's nose, tickling them ever so slightly. There was not a cloud in the sky, and the beautiful robin egg blue surrounded the Elements of Harmony, Discord, and of course little Spike as well. Rainbow Dash always made sure the weather was perfect when they got the chance to sit, relax, and simply have a nice picnic. It had been a while since they all had the free time to do that.
Twilight smiled to herself. Being a Princess was nice, but she missed being able to sit and just talk.
"I STILL can't believe you two are dating!!" Pinkie Pie squealed in delight, making Fluttershy blush.
"We announced it a week ago Pinkie..." She mumbled, hiding behind her mane as Discord puffed out his furry chest in pride.
"Yeah! You should have announced it sooner! Thanks for leaving us out to dry!" Rainbow remarked, grabbing an apple and sinking her teeth into it.
"I-I-I'm sorry!!" The yellow pegasus squeaked, burying her face in her hooves.
Rainbow looked up at the mare and snorted, placing her apple down onto her plate. "I didn't mean it like THAT Fluttershy," She grumbled in between chewing.
"Don't talk with your mouth full," Rarity nagged, glaring at Rainbow Dash as the pegasus rolled her eyes. Rarity turned back to Fluttershy, and gave her a small smile.
"We approve of whoever you want to date darling! As long as they aren't a BRUTE." Rarity glanced coldly over at Discord with that, as if to tell him that if he ever hurt Fluttershy in any way, he was going to get an earful of the most high pitched whining and complaining he had ever heard. Discord shuddered.
"Am I the only one that's surprised Fluttershy started dating someone?" Spike asked, taking a sip of tea. "I mean, I didn't expect it..."
"Ah' was..." Applejack mumbled.
"Not at all! Fluttershy dated a couple colts back in High School! She really knew how to pick em' too! She never had a relationship that didn't last several months!" Rainbow Dash said, chuckling at Spike's shocked face.
"I wish I was that lucky.... I'm horrible at choosing whom to date and whom not to date...." Rarity muttered.
"WE KNOW," Everyone, including Fluttershy, groaned out. Rarity looked taken aback for a moment, but then scowled.
"I'll have you know that I dated over 20 colts in High School ONLY!"
"Is that something to be proud of, Rarity?" Twilight asked, making Rarity hiss in anger, her face red from embarrassment.
"I've dated about 18 guys my whole life! One was when we were both in kindergarten! I dumped him though, because he didn't like cake! CAKE!" Pinkie bugged out her eyes like it was the most gruesome and surprising thing in the universe. "I may have not even had my cutie mark then, BUT CAKE WAS STILL DELICIOUS!!!"
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes once again. "I've dated like, 4... maybe 5 guys."
"That's it??" Rarity asked, and Rainbow sighed.
"I'm not romantic at all Rarity, how is that such a big shock?"
"Well-"
"I've dated thousands and thousands!" Discord interjected. "Even Celestia might I add!"
"What..? Sure buster sure...... What about you AJ?" Rainbow turned to the orange mare sitting next to her.
"About 10."
"Seems legit."
"What about YOU Twilight??" Pinkie asked, everyone's attention now turning to the purple alicorn.
Twilight peered up from her tea. She hadn't been taking much attention into the conversation, because she honestly wasn't very interested. She wasn't the most keen on romance. Heck, she really didn't care! Honestly the whole hub bub about it didn't really seem to make any logical sense to her. She still enjoyed a good romance novel every now and then, and she didn't disapprove of romance entirely, she just wouldn't go out of her way for someone like that. She was perfectly content with the life she had now. Why go around picking out random stallions to court?
She thought about her answer. It has been awhile... How many colts has she dated in the past?
"Well... There was this one-" She cut herself off. That young pony had been dating a filly in her class, not Twilight! She thought again. "Wait... This pon-" She did it again. Noticing how she didn't date that one either. She attempted to say something else, opening her mouth before thinking again that stallion had not dated her. Had she ever even had a crush before? She certainly never remembered anypony who had caught her eye. Wasn't it the same way friendship had been to her? Useless? Stupid? A distraction?
That was then the sudden realization crashed into her like an entire swarm of Parasprites.
She.... She never did date anyone! Not a single stallion! None had ever gone out with her! Not a single soul!
She looked up at her friends in dismay. She did say romance wasn't very important to her. But not even one? How? How has she never dated anyone before?
"I...." She began incredulously. "I never have...."
The 7 others all stared at Twilight like she had gone insane. Rarity's eyes bugged out so far Twilight could have sworn she was part of a cartoon. Spike seemed deep in thought, like he was trying to remember for himself if Twilight had ever dated. He stopped after a moment, realization etching into his features.
"Oh," He mumbled softly in surprise. That had broken the awkward silence at least.
"Not a single one...?" Fluttershy asked, her voice hushed.
Twilight shook her head, and the air seemed to stop.
At least until Discord broke into horrible, high pitched laughter. He fell onto his back and rolled around, trying to control his diaphragm, but to no avail. The rest of the gang decided to join as well, at first in small chuckles and then growing into loud snorts. Eventually everyone was rolling on the ground as well. Twilight was taken aback by the whole entire situation.
"W-Why are you laughing at me?" She asked in accusal, shifting her eyes from one hysterical friend to another.
"PFFFT! We-e aren't laughing HMMM at you Twinkie! We HAHAHA! We're laughing with you!" Pinkie choked out, somehow managing to sculpt her words so Twilight could understand them.
"But I'm not laughing!"
Unlike her hopes, her friends seemed to ignore her, continuing to chortle. Twilight groaned, slamming a hoof against her weary forehead. She grabbed a howling Spike and tossed him onto her back. Spike still was laughing though, and Twilight groaned once again, starting to make her way back to civilization and out of the field.
"Sorry folks but looks like I have to go now!" Twilight said in a slightly too sweet sounding tone, flashing a big, fake smile to her friends.
Immediately, despite all odds, her friends stopped laughing. They all looked up at the mare, and Rainbow Dash looked guilty.
"Oh come on Twi!" The pegasus retorted, standing up finally. "We didn't mean to hurt your feelings or anything!"
"NO NO!!!" Twilight said in a sing-song voice. "I REALLY must be going! Lot's of books and whatever! Toodles!"
She quickly took off, hearing Applejack call back at her, but didn't even look behind her. Friends can be annoying sometimes.... So instead of listening to their snarky comments after they all calmed down, she decided to head home for the day.
After all, some nice relaxation alone at home would do her good.