Season 2 Chapter 5: Troll'd by Mare Do Well
-Xavier's Recap-
It's been a week since Dash got her new pet, Tank. He's a pretty cool reptile. Sure, not the teen aged mutant ninja types that eats pizza, and certainly not the type that has two water cannons sticking out of its shell, but hey. He's fun to watch. I also managed to get Fluttershy to hook me up with a couple of goldfish to put in our empty fish tank. The mini aquarium had already been cleaned and everything was ready for our two new residents, and like Fluttershy's other animals, I noticed they too could make readable facial expressions, but barely. Why am I not surprised?
What happened last Friday was even more interesting than fish. I was requested at Sugarcube Corner for a job with putting together new furniture. Me being the cool and not-lazy guy I am, I went over there. I didn't know I was going to be spending most of my day there though. I was told that the Cakes were looking to install a minibar for whenever there's an adult-only get together. It was a simple four seat minibar, and it looked as if it was gonna be a thirty-minute job. When I was finished, I left for home, only to be stopped by Pinkie.
"Oh Egsy, I thought you said you were gonna put the mini bar together!"
"I did put it together. See for yourself."
When I got there, the entire mini bar was back to being pieces, like I never put it together. So, me being patient, I went ahead and spent another thirty minutes putting it together again. When I was done, I decided to go pee before leaving. When I left the restroom however, wouldn't you know it, I found myself back to square one with the minibar. Thirty minutes later, I had asked everyone to leave the building for a while, suspecting that someone was trying to be funny. I was staring at the complete minibar. Dash came in behind me.
"Hey X! Wanna hang out with me, Tank and Fluttershy?"
"Sure." I turned to her, which was the biggest mistake I made that day.
"Nevermind, I see you're busy." She said before leaving.
"What're you talking about? I was just...." I turned around and to my horror, the bar was in pieces... again. "FUUUUCK!!!" I didn't even hear it come apart!
Thirty minutes later, even after I had put it back together, this time, after staring at it for what seemed to be hours, it fell apart right infront of my face. I tried to put it back together, but each piece I connected or screwed on, fell apart. Like the screws disappeared and respawned in the box of screws. After giving out a scream of frustration, I gave up. Right when I did, I heard laughing. Pinkie and Dash were watching the entire thing. Worse, they were laughing at me. I just up and left Sugarcube Corner.
"Hahaha Xavier! I've never seen you lose it like that!"
"Yeah Egsy! You were like AWUAAAHWAAAAAAAAH!!!" Pinkie imitated.
I went home that day, ignoring both of them. I went straight to bed, being completely done with that Friday. I felt the need for revenge, but that time would come sooner than I expected.
-End of Recap-
(Monday 11/7)
I was woken up by a kiss from Dash. She's been very mushy with me ever since her and Pinkie's little prank. I hadn't talked to her much during the weekend, but I wasn't really mad. Sure, I was still going to get her back for it, but being honest, I loved the attention from her I was getting. I had already filled in Jack when he asked. He just told me to let him know how it turns out.
"Morning Monkeyboy."
"Hello Skittles."
Rainbow gave me a smile before nuzzling me. "You love me, right?"
"Dash if this is about the prank, I'm not really angry with you. Sure you caused me a bit of frustration that day, but hey. The prank is all in good fun, right?" I said, sitting up.
She wrapped her forelegs around my neck and gave me a passionate kiss. "I had a good feeling you'd understand, X."
Yeah... I understand that I'm gonna get you back.
"Anyway, I think I'm gonna check on Scoots and her fan club. Wanna come with?"
I raised an eyebrow, not really looking at her. "A fan club you say? Is it another human fan club? Because I think Lyra already started one. She's the only member."
"Nope. It's a fan club for fans of yours truly!" Dash said, pointing a proud hoof to her chest. "A Rainbow Dash fan club!"
That caught my attention. "If that's the case, why wasn't I told?"
"Huh?"
"Why wasn't I told? I think Rainbow Dash's biggest fan should've heard about this fan club."
Rainbow blushed, swatting towards me with her hoof. "Oh you... Well, if anyone knows how awesome and cool I am, it's definitely you, and you never needed a fan club to realize it."
I gave her another kiss as she once more had her forelegs wrapped around my neck. Hearing her moans of pleasure when I caressed her back and her wing joints made me never want to stop, and something told me she wouldn't have wanted me to either. Unfortunately, I hadn't planned on staying in bed all day. I had to get her off of me, but getting a Rainbow Dash off of you this early in the morning while she's well rested was a hard feat, so I gave up. I let her stay attached to me and ended up going to the bathroom to get freshened up for the day with her attached.
I followed Dash to where they were having the RDFC meeting. Well, I didn't really follow her. In fact, I carried her on my back. She insisted. They were having it in the Crusader's treehouse, hosted by none other than Scootaloo, and man was it actually a fan club. So many colts and fillies in one small house wearing rainbow wigs, flags with Rainbow Dash on it along with posters. I wonder how much it took to convince the other four to hold this little meeting of hers. Dash and I started eavesdropping.
"I motion that Rainbow Dash be declared 'The Most Awesome Pony in Ponyville!'" Scootaloo declared.
"I second the motion, and might I add that if you looked up the word awesome in the dictionary, there would be a picture of Rainbow Dash." I heard another voice say. Heheh, kids really do say the darnest things.
"I object! I think the word awesome is played out! Rainbow Dash deserves better!" Said yet another voice. As they were discussing what word to use to describe Rainbow Dash, the mare in question decided to anonymously chip in.
"What about 'Super Ultra Extreme Awesomazing?'"
The fillies and colts agreed and went with it.
I couldn't help but to flick Rainbow's ears as she giggled.
Walking away from the treehouse, Dash flew infront of me. "So watcha think? It's awesome right?"
"I guess, if you love being worshiped by kids. Just be sure to be a good role model for 'em, okay?"
"Gee, you're starting to sound like your brother. How am I not a good role model? You heard them in there."
"Yeah I did." I admitted, ruffling her mane a bit. She giggled, flying behind me and wrapped her forelegs around my neck. I carried her all the way back to town before she let go.
"I think I'm gonna go catch some clouds."
"Sure. I'm probably gonna go check on the others anyway, seeing as I don't have any jobs to do today."
She flew up to my face, kissed me, and flew to the skies. "Later X!"
I chose to go to Sugarcube Corner to pick up more granola bars. I remembered we were starting to run low. I found Twilight, AJ, and Fluttershy there helping Pinkie with something.
"Hey girls. What're you all doing here?"
"Howdy Xavier! We were just helpin' out Pinkie with her new recipe."
"And all of you are here to help her with whatever it is she's making?"
"Yup. And I'm here as the human taste test." Said a voice from across the room. I turned to see who it was to see my best friend Jack. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Whenever they aren't busy with work, you won't find them too far from each other. I walked over to him and did our little handshake, something the other ponies never got the gist of.
"I'm all doooone~!" Pinkie had came out with a basket of six granola bars. Two had dehydrated chopped berries, two had dehydrated chopped apples, and two had both dehydrated berries and apples chopped up. Three were each given to me and Jack.
"Thanks Pinks." Jack said.
"Why did you bake two of each instead of just one?" I asked.
"Because, silly, my Pinkie Sense told me that you-"
"Okay yeah yeah... Pinkie Sense explains everything." I interrupted. I first tried out the ones with the dehydrated berries first while Jack tried out the one with the dehydrated apples. The girls were looking at us with anxious expressions on their faces. I tasted it, and I was satisfied.
"Well?" The girls asked in unison
"Out of 10, I would give it a.."
"Give it a..."
"10 out of 10!" Jack said, now half way through with eating his final bar.
"I'd give it a 20." I told him.
"Well Ah'm glad ya'll like 'em." Applejack said, moving over towards Jack. In response, he gave AJ a peck on her lips. I looked down at my two remaining bars. I could see AJ from the corner of my eye looking at me impatiently. "Well? Aren't ya gonna try it?"
I thought for a moment before giving her an answer. "Nah, not right now anyway. I think I'll savor it another time."
"Relax Applejack. The granola bars will last a while, and I'm sure he'll eat it before it even begins to spoil. Right Xavier?" Twilight was looking at me.
"Most likely." I had the urge to stall just to troll them a little, but I thought better of it. "Pinkie, got any snack bags I can put these in? Or just wrap them up."
"Okiedokie loki!" Pinkie nabbed the bars and dashed back to the kitchen and came back with both of them plastic wrapped.
"Thanks."
We left Sugarcube Corner a little while later. The four of us were walking to the park to hang out. I had the bars in my hoodie pocket. Things were peaceful until we heard a cry for help coming from a nearby well.
"HEEEELP!! HEEEELP!!!"
Before I could do anything however, Dash had went into the dark well and came back out with a lavender filly with a mint green mane and tail. By this time, there was a crowd drawing near. As Dash landed, the filly jumped off and the crowd, me included, cheered for her.
"Wow.. What's with the crowd? Uh.. Thanks everypony." She said. "It was really no big deal."
I walked up to her from behind and picked her up hugging her. "No big deal my foot! You flew in there and rescued a little filly! Yeah, that's a pretty big deal! You're practically a heroine!"
When I put my fillyfriend down, the filly she rescued walked up to her. "Thank you! You're my hero!"
"Heheh, no problem kiddo."
I ruffled Rainbow's mane. "How about I take the heroine out for lunch? On me."
"Sure. I'll never say no to a free meal."
Jack felt like making a joke about what I just said. "Are you on-"
"No Jack, that kind of heroine doesn't exist in this world!" Seriously...
My date with Dash was going rather swimmingly to say the least. We went to her favorite place, The Hay Burger, for lunch. Now we were headed to the flower shop to get her some flowers. One thing I couldn't help but notice was that Rainbow Dash was starting to become the talk of the town. She's received a lot of fans since she saved that little filly, and unfortunately for me, admirers. They kept their distance from us however. She wasn't really interested, and I wasn't gonna have it.
"So Dash, it seems like the entire town is revolving around you today."
"I know. Isn't it awesome?" She squeeled, landing on my back.
"Yeah. Kids are even making up 'facts' about you. Heh, I think you've become Ponyville's Chuck Norris."
Rainbow quizzically looked at me. "I dunno who Chuck Norris is, but he sounds super cool."
"So what flowers do you want again?"
Before Rainbow Dash could answer, she heard yet another scream. Everyone had turned their heads to the general direction of the scream. We didn't see much of anything at first until a baby stroller came into view over a hill at a speed that could give anyone or pony a whiplash. Of course, Dash sprang into action and caught up to the stroller and stopped it right before it went off a cliff that looked like Jack and I would have to ride off of in case we feel like doing something dumb and dangerous like a couple of jackasses.
When she caught it, everyone cheered. Even her friends were there when she saved the foal inside. She was a graceful hero, up until what happened next.
"Oh no! There's something wrong with the baby!" This got everyone to stop cheering, wondering what she was talking about. Dash pulled out a perfectly fine baby. "She's not cheering for everypony's favorite hero, Rainbow Dash!" I raised an eyebrow, dawning a smirk. You showoff. As everyone cheered, I saw cameras taking pictures of her. Rainbow went on to pose for them after returning the foal to its mother and took off, but not before leaving a shape of her cutie mark in the clouds. I saw Jack and the other girls nearby and went over to where they were.
"She did it again, right?"
Jack looked away. "Yeah yeah, your girl's a super hero now. Whatever." He acts like I'm bragging about it
"No, but she is kinda awesome." I heard Twilight say.
Now that Dash is gone, I guess the date is over. Guess she doesn't want her dessert after all. I looked at the flower shop we were gonna go to. I then looked at my other fillyfriend. "Hey Twi. Wanna flower to snack on?"
Once again, I found myself at Sugarcube Corner. After Dash saved the foal, I was going to hang out with the girls a bit, but one of the Cakes personally asked me to help with a little plumbing issue they had with their sink so I went there and got to work. Mr. Cake was monitoring my progress when I found out that the problem was. It was clogged from leftovers.
"I uh, suppose you don't have garbage disposal units in Equestria?"
"A garbage disposal? I don't think we've ever heard of those, Mr. Roberts. Usually when this happens, ponies have their entire sinks replaced. It's pretty costly. It was my wife's idea to see if you could come over and fix it instead."
"Smart lady." I commented as I emptied the leftovers from the trap into a bucket, unclogging it.
"Yeah. You saved us a lot of bits. Would you like anything? Say a dozen cupcakes to take back home with you? I'm sure your little sister'll enjoy them." Or help Jonathan get into another sugar rush.
"Yeah, maybe later. Wouldn't know where to put 'em. Just give them to Pinkie. She'd appreciate sweets more than I would."
"I'm sure she'll appreciate it."
When I finished the job, I was about to leave until the girls, Spike and Jack were in the store, along with paparazzi and fans blocking my exit. Rainbow was talking about herself in front of her fans with Spike acting as her chronicler. I sat next to Jack at a table.
"Is it me, or did your girl's head grow three sizes today?" He asked.
"I wouldn't say her head's gotten bigger, more like her ego." Pinkie said, completely missing the joke.
Applejack deadpanned at Pinkie. "Ah think that was one of them human figures of speeches or references they make all the time."
"Yup."
Yeah, now that I think of it, I think Dash is having too much fun with the attention she's getting.
Speak of the devil, Dash pulled me into a little headlock. "Hey X! How does it feel to be immortalized as my boyfriend?"
If I didn't know any better, I'd say about the same as being 'immortalized' by being an alien. I looked at Jack for help, but he just shrugged his shoulders. Dash went back to her crowd of cameras and fans. Yeah, Diva Dash is starting to get pretty annoying...
"Being a hero takes guts, but it also takes brains, and sometimes a big lunch and a nap. Being a hero isn't for everypony, but I'm up for the challenge."
I started to get an idea. I looked at Jack and he was having the same look. I think it's about time we do something about her over-inflated ego. We both had a grin that would put The Grinch to shame. And to get back at her for last week.
The girls (excluding Dash) and I met at Carousel Boutique as Jack requested. Jack's idea was to upstage Dash in her heroic acts. Quite frankly it was better than my idea which was to have her save a fake pony (A dummy filled with fertilizer) and have her smelling for days, so we went with his. The problem was that we had to make sure that Rainbow wouldn't guess it was her friends behind the plan, and we didn't have a hero.
"Well, that's part of the idea. There can be multiple heroes wearing the same costume that would cover their identities. Girls? How would you like to play hero?"
"No thank you, my dear. All of that hero stuff sounds like sweaty work, and I don't think my complexion would be able to handle it." Rarity complained. Of course..
"I thought you would say that, but how would you feel about making stylish hero costumes for each of them? And they have to look the same and hide their features like their horns and wings. Rainbow has to believe that they're the same pony." Jack continued.
"Now that sounds like something I can do."
"Great!" He clapped his hands together. "You go get started!"
I raised my hand. "What can I do to help out?"
Pinkie zipped up to me. "Ooh! I know how you can help! And to help you get back at Dashie for the prank last week!" Wait... how did she...
As the rest of the girls discussed their plans, Rarity soon finished with the costumes. They all looked identical. Each outfit had a hat and cloak to hide the features or lack of. I don't know when Jack became this clever, but he must've been hanging around a crowd that I didn't know about. I just hope I don't end up being on Jack's to-prank list. As for Twilight's enchantment, she used her magic to enchant the outfits and told the girls to use their 'will' to summon their uniform. Twilight must've went into my dad's boxes of comics.
After we've finished discussed our plans, the girls had their outfits and most of them went their separate ways. Twilight and I were together. We were heading to the park. It was silent until...
"You found my dad's comics didn't you?"
"Again with this? No! I got the idea from one of Spike's comics. I think her name was Radiance or something." Touche'.
Before I could say anything, my thoughts were interrupted by screaming. I looked up to see a pony falling from a hot air balloon. Looking closer, it was none other than Cherry Berry, one of the servers at the slushy place. Guess who I spotted nearby. If you guessed Rainbow Dash, you're correct. She was over there signing autographs. One of her fans tried to get her attention but she wanted to finish her autographs first apparently. That strengthened my resolve to go through with this prank. It wasn't until she finished did she finally decide to rescue the falling slushy mare. I lowered my shaking head and chuckled when I saw one of the others save her instead. Even I couldn't tell which of the girls it was. I wanted to ask whoever it was to find out, but I doubt that would go well with Jack's idea. No, I wanted to milk this for what it was worth and keep with the plan. The crowd was eating it up.
"Holy Turnips! That pony came out of nowhere!"
"I've never seen such bravery in my life!"
We didn't even need to come up with a name. The mayor already did, and dubbed the hero "The Mysterious Mare Do Well." Rainbow wasn't too happy with her removal from the spotlight. She made some clever pun of the newcomer's given name. Twilight and I looked at each other with satisfied smiles.
It's been hours since I witnessed Rainbow's upstaging. Twilight had long since went her own way. I was called in by somepony to help with construction work. Why didn't they call Jeff? Basically I was supervising and helping out whenever I could. Things were going pretty well until one of the cranes started acting up. Of course this would happen. The stallion that was working it kept messing with it.
"Hey moron! Fuckin moron! Stop messin around! Someone's gonna get hurt!" I yelled.
"I can't help it! The darned controls are jammed!" He yelled back. Just then, he 'unjammed' the controls alright. One of the levers ended up outside of the crane. The steel beam flew towards and hit the structure that the other workers and I were near.
"Son of a bitch!"
The timing couldn't be more perfect! Rainbow Dash just flew in. "Never fear! Rainbow Dash is-" Oh for fuck's sake...
"RAINBOW CUT THE SHIT AND HELP US!!!" I screamed at her as I began playing bullet hell with the falling debris. I might as well have been being attacked by Flandre Scarlet. When Rainbow saw me, her eyes grew twice in size.
"XAVIER!"
Somepony else got to me before she did however. The known Mysterious Mare Do Well swept me off of my feet tackled me out of the way of danger. I couldn't help but imagine she smelled like cotton candy and cupcakes. After calming down a bit, I whispered in Mare Do Well's ear. "Thanks Pinkie." Before she could respond, she set me down and went back to helping others. Rainbow was hovering there, staring in my general direction as Mare Do Well saved everyone else, including her who almost got maimed by a steel beam when Mare Do Well got to her.
As the guys and I cheered, Rainbow's face grew from shocked to angry. She was upstaged again, but also in front of her boyfriend. "That's the third time today!!!" Third? "I can't believe she beat me again!"
"Rainbow, calm down."
"Don't you 'Rainbow calm down' me, Monkey boy! You could've unmasked her right then and there and messed her up! Who's side are you even on?!"
"Frankly, I'm on the side of the one that saved my life instead of trying to look good in front of everyone, and messing her up would've meant that someone would get hurt or even killed, Rainbow."
"Look, Xavier. Stay. Away. From. Her. Okay?" She told me.
"Why should I? She saved my life, Rainbow. I owe her one."
She let out a frustrated grunt and flew off.
After my life was saved, the construction site was a mess, and everyone working on the building took the rest of the time off after almost being killed. I had made note that since Pinkie saved my life, I wasn't going to get her back for being an accomplice of Rainbow's prank. Even though I was alright, still, I wanted to be away from everyone else to comprehend what had just happened, so I decided to go home and lie down. I needed to. So I went up to my room and went to bed early today. I wanted to get a good rest, but it wasn't going to happen however.
"Hey X.." I heard from above me. I opened my eyes and saw Rainbow hovering over my bed. "I'm... sorry I got mad at you earlier, but I really need your help!"
"Shoot."
"I need you to witness me!"
"Should I get the silver spray paint can?" Even though he wasn't there, it was if I could hear Jack laughing.
She lowered her brows at me. "What does that have to with-... No! I need you to see me when I help fix a leak in the Ponyville Dam! Please? Everypony will listen to you."
I let out a silent sigh. "Fine..."
"Thanks X!" She gave me a peck before grabbing me and flying out the window. I never did expect to be pulled out of my window like that, like, ever.
"JESUS DASH!"
She had flown me all the way over to the dam, so bent on having me witness her good deed. There was indeed a hole with water leaking out of it.
"Watch closely."
She flew down to the dam, looked around and placed a hoof over the leak. The leak stopped for a moment.
"See?! I did it, X!" she cheered.
"No you didn't. What happens when you gotta eat, huh? Or when you need to feed Tank? Can't stay there forever, Dash."
She shot me a disgruntled look. "Stop being right all the time!" She yelled, crossing both of her forelegs. "It's annoying!" Is it me or is the crack getting bigger? SHIT!
"DASH LOOK OUT! THE DAM IS GONNA-" It was too late. The dam had broke in the center and not only was it flooding, but it was also carrying Rainbow. "..burst..."
"HELP!!!"
I took off my hoodie, t-shirt and jeans and dove in after her. I was the only one there, and even if another pony was there to help her, it's already been established earlier this year that humans were better swimmers with our flat feet compared to their hooves. That and as a kid, I've had swimming lessons too. I was dubbed 'the kid who swims like a jellyfish/squid/octopus.' When I reached Rainbow, I surfaced myself.
"Rainbow! On my back! Now!"
She climbed on and I tried to swim against he rapids. It was a losing battle, but I sure was gonna try anyway. I thought we were done for until Rainbow wrapped her hind legs around my waist and we stopped. I looked up and saw Rainbow holding on to a log. On the other end of it was The Mysterious Mare Do Well.
"You?! I suppose you want me to thank-" Before Rainbow could finish, nearby rocks, stones and boulders started floating in familiar pinkish-violet-purplish aura. They were all floating towards the dam and fusing themselves with its remains. I knew who it was, and she was repairing the dam. When she was done, I noticed while Dash was staring at the dam in awe, 'Mare Do Well' was staring at me. That's when I realized that I was for the first time, almost completely naked around Twilight, or any pony for that matter. If I were around other human beings, I wouldn't be self conscious at all. I guess they did see Jeff, Jonathan and Hiroto shirtless though.
Because I was so deep in thought, I wasn't expecting a hug from Twilight Mare Do Well. She was on her hindlegs with her forelegs wrapped around me. I shrugged my shoulders and kissed where her mask where her lips would be. Unfortunately, Dash had sense then snapped out of it and had her attention on us at the time. I know, because I held it long enough.
"Y-YOU!!! YOU!!!" Dash was seething. By then, Mare Do Well had ran off. I didn't notice a crowd cheering for her as she did so. Then she flew over our heads (I knew that one was Fluttershy. Hello! Only one of the group with wings!), further confusing and enraging the prism-maned mare. I could see the look of rage on her face. Payback's a bitch ain't it, Dash? I was smug until she she looked at me with the eyes of a pissed off mare. "HOW COULD YOU?!? YOU!!! YOU!!!" She took a deep breath. "No. You know what?! Once I out-do Mysterious Whorse-Do-Swell, I'm gonna be big again! Then you'll see! You'll regret ever doing what you just did!" She flew off, nearly kicking dirt in my eyes. Did I maybe take things a bit too far?
Walking out of the area, I picked up my clothes, put them back on, and then I ran into an undisguised Twilight who was flushed red and glaring at me. Maybe I did take things too far...
"What were you thinking?!? You risked the entire plan with that stunt!"
Or not...
"Well, you were the one who had your hooves on me." I said, smugly when I saw her head flush more.
"T-that's different! I thought you were going to die out there, a-and I was just uh.. happy to see you not hurt?"
"Yeah, bare skin is more sensitive to the touch than whenever i'm wearing my t-shirt. I could feel your hooves caressing my sides." I chuckled. "Did Pinkie tell you against my plan to get back at Rainbow too?"
I could see her looking around like Liarjack. "Maybe?"
We shortly arrived back at Sugarcube Corner. Twilight was with her friends to discuss what was next. While they were doing so, I placed my head on the table, not even paying attention to a pissed off Dash walking in and giving me the glare. This day was beginning to take its toll on me. Jack sat down across of me.
"Hey."
"Yo." I mumbled.
"Ya sound tired dude."
"Well, besides nearly following Dash almost everywhere today and almost getting crushed by a falling building today, and jumping in after a drowning Rainbow Dash, my day's been pretty chill, right?"
"Wow. You have been busy. Don't worry. You'll pull through this, man."
"Sure."
"Ehem!" I rolled my head in the direction of the obvious voice. "Being angry at you won't work if you're not even paying attention to me you know." I just waved at her. Fortunately her attention was drawn away by something Applejack and Fluttershy said. I didn't catch it, but it got her to leave me alone for a bit.
"What was that about?"
"I kissed The Mysterious Mare Do Well in front of Rainbow just to get back at her for her prank last week. She doesn't know it was Twilight."
"That's so fuckin wrong and so hilarious at the same time." Jack said, holding back stifled laughter.
"It was actually Pinkie's suggestion."
"Are you gonna get her back too?" He asked. I placed a hand on my chin and thought about it.
"Nah. She saved my life when she was Mare Do Well, so I can let her slide." I told him over the laughter of the other ponies.
"Fine! Laugh all you want, but I'll be the one laughing when I prove to you all that I'm just as good... no, that I'm a better hero than Mare Do Well!" Dash yelled, fed up before she flew out the door. She gave me a bitter look when she passed me.
"You sure she's gonna be cool with you now?"
"What? I didn't break any rules. Twilight's in my herd too."
Said unicorn walked over to our table. "Hey Xavier. I was wondering if later on we can go by the park and spend time with each other."
"I don't see why not." I looked at Jack. "Wanna come with?"
"I'll be a third wheel another time."
"Eeyup. That there cowboy got a mare of his own." AJ said from across the room.
"Well why don't we all join you two darlings?" Rarity asked. "Today's been a rather busy day for all of us. Some rest and relaxation at the park sounds like a wonderful idea!"
The remaining girls agreed, so we each made our way to the park. Funny thing, on the way there, I saw Rainbow trying to 'help' (more like force) Granny Smith cross to the other side of the road against her own will. I wonder how that'll turn out. Twilight was walking as close to me as AJ was to Jack, the only difference being Twi seemingly not noticing, having her focus on her notes or whatever she was writing on, I guess she was trusting me to keep her from running into things. I grinned as she wasn't going to get the protection she assumed I was going to give her and lead her into a few stands, buildings and other ponies.
"Xavier!"
"Yes, Twilibel?"
"Twile-what?" She shook her head. "Whatever, can you please not run me into everything and everyone we pass please?!"
"Love ya too, Twi." I don't know why, but picking on Twi entertains me.
"Ugh!" Twilight groaned. She ended up walking behind me instead. Bad idea Twilight. On multiple occasions I stopped right in front of her causing her to bump into me. Her horn was a little bit of an issue but it was well worth annoying her. She stompd her hoof. "Xavier! Quit it!" I could hear Jack snickering. "And Jack, stop encouraging him! You two act like foals sometimes." I couldn't help it anymore. I picked up the adorkable mare, forcing her to drop her things and hugged her tight. "What the- HEY!! What're you doing?!"
"Sorry Twi, I just love pickin on ya because you're so damn adorkable and I love ya."
Twilight sighed and let me carry her the rest of the way to the park. We hung out for a while. Fluttershy had conversations with the birds. Jack and AJ were napping under a tree together. I took a few pics of them and swapped their faces and showed it to Pinkie and Twilight. Pinkie had a laughter explosion while Twilight smirked and rolled her eyes. Fluttershy had her animal friends keeping her company. I spotted Rainbow nearby harassing a mare and her daughter. I went over to them while Dash was trying to open up a jar with her teeth. The mare used her magic to loosen it for her. I smirked and shook my head. She's really grasping at straws.
After a while, there was a stage set up in the park with ponies gathered. Twi, AJ, Jack and I checked out what it was. It was a celebration of Ponyville's newest heroine, Mare Do Well. Mayor Mare gave out an announcement.
"Welcome to Ponyville's first, but surely not last, thank you parade, in honor of our city's greatest hero, the mysterious Mare Do Well!"
Mare Do Well came out and did her dramatic pose as everyone cheered. The only one that wasn't cheering was me, Jack, and Rainbow Dash. She flew up to the mare in costume and whispered something before trying to unmask her with her teeth. It ended up being a chase. I looked to where the others were, but they were gone, only leaving Jack and I to follow my crazy filly friend. When we followed her, all of the Mare Do Wells were playing Benny Hill with Rainbow, who was running everywhere. Soon enough, she caught one of them and unmasked Pinkie.
"A-HA! I have you now!....wait.. Pinkie?!?"
"Heehee. Hiya Dashie!" Pinkie said sheepishly from below her.
The others were standing there with their costumes on except for Rarity.
"T-There are three more of you?!"
"Wrongo, Skittles." I told her as I unmasked the others. "They were playing Mare Do Well at different times."
"Ah stopped the carriage with Buck Lee and Hoof Willis" AJ said, kicking the air with her hind legs. I shot a look at Jack as he was snickering.
"I saved the construction workers and Xavier with my Pinkie Sense."
"Which is why I won't be pranking her for being your accomplice."
Pinkie appeared behind me. "How did you know it was me anyway? Do you have x-ray vision?"
"You smelled of cotton candy and the cupcakes I told Mr. Cake to give you."
Pinkie gave me a squeezing hug. "Thanks Egsy!"
I gave Dash a sly smirk. "I think you know who repaired the dam."
Dash glared at me. "Yeah! What gives?!" She turned to her friends. "Who was locking lips with my boyfriend?!"
"Who else in this group has violet purple glowing aura covering things whenever she uses magic?" I deadpanned
"And I did the fly by afterwards."
"Oh... B-but... why? Don't you want me to be a hero?" Rainbow asked.
"You bein' a hero and all ain't a bad thing, but uh, you were kinda actin like a guy with a Ferrari in a bad neighborhood."
Everyone looked at Jack.
"Ah don't know what a Ferrari is, but real heroes don't brag."
"I guess I did start to brag a little." I gave Dash a light slap on the back of her head. "Ow! Hey! Okay fine! I guess I was going over the top with bragging."
Everypony agreed.
Jack and I decided to leave when Rainbow started writing her letter to Celly. I was just going to go home and hit the sack, or at least take a nap since the evening was still young. That's precisely what I did when I got there. The Crusaders were watching Ninjago while Bro had Vinyl over. Jack and Jeff went somewhere, didn't really care to listen in. I just waved and went straight to my room. I jumped face first on my pillow and transferred from Ponyville to Snoozeville.
I never did wake back up that day.