I sat still as the medic closely examined the cut on my face. Holding still I waited as she smiled and spoke, “no offence ma’am, but why would you come to see me with something this little?”
I shrugged my shoulders as I replied, “Well it’s not like I wanted to, Commander Bolt told me to see you if I had any injuries. And since I did have this scratch, I figured it would be better to do as I was told just in case he asked. I mean, it doesn’t even hurt.”
The medic smiled as she prepped a small rage and spoke, “so… the commander said, did he… that’s interesting.”
As the mare started cleaning my wound, I asked, “interesting?... what do you mean?...”
As the medic finished cleaning my wound, she got a small bandage as she spoke, “well… As a medic I hear plenty of rumors from the soldiers... and one seems to be the norm amongst them… but… you and Commander Bolt… are you two… a thing?”
I thought to myself as I replied, “a thing… what are yo… wait… oh… no, no, no. I assure you we aren’t… I mean… the commander and I get along, but I promise you we aren’t… you know… together if that’s what you’re asking.”
The convinced mare smiled as she replied, “It’s alright, I was just asking. Besides, even though I heard that rumor, I hear the other one even more.”
After she put the bandage on my face I asked, “Other rumor… what other rumor.”
The medic smiled as she replied, “well… rumor has it that it isn’t you that the commander has eyes for… in fact… from what I understand, its Princess Luna that he is in love with.”
I looked at the medic with surprise, “Princess Luna?... Really?...”
The medic nodded her head as she replied, “yea, she and he have had unspoken feelings for each other for years… or so the rumor says. In the end, rumors are rumors and the truth is the truth. Whoever, Commander Bolt has eyes for has to be some mare. A pony as well-known as him could be with almost anypony… well, anypony who supports the Nightmare Legion anyways.”
Nodding my head I replied, “Yea… with this war terrorizing everything it’s not like anypony in the Nightmare legion would be popular with civilians.”
The medic smiled as she started getting the room ready for her next patient, “Yea, and I know I'll get an earful from my family when this war is over. Anyways, I'm finished with you, so you can go if you want. With a scratch like that you won’t even have a scar when it heals.”
As I stood up to leave I replied, “Speaking of which, how are things here? I know this tent was hit by a catapult during the battle, but I didn’t know if you were hurt or not.”
The medic replied, “I got out alright… I was able to evacuate before the impact which is more than I can say for a few of my nurses. Luckily we didn’t lose anypony and I'm sure the ones injured will regain consciousness before morning. Anyways, I'll continue my work here and have the casualty count to you and the commander later. But for now, if you find anypony whose injuries are as minimal as yours, please tell them to stand by. With things as crazy as they are, we can’t afford to overlook our current patients.”
As the medic opened the door to her tent which lead out into the center of the camp, I nodded my head as I Replied, “I understand. Thanks sergeant.”
With that, I trotted out of the tent and into the area where all the casualties from the earlier battle were being treated. As I began trotting out into the open area where medics and helpers were rushing around to identify and save the wounded, I tried my hardest to ignore all the moaning, crying and screaming that radiated from the area as I began trotting through. As I continued I couldn’t help but over hear most of the medics as they examined each pony and identified the wounded by the severity of their wounds, “this one is stable, this one… priority, get him inside now. Him… he’s dead, leave him.”
As the medic trotted away from the soldier who was identified as dead, I could only look at the fallen soldier as I sighed in pity.
As I started looking over every casualty in the area, I couldn’t help but think of all who fell before even making it to this point as a random soldier approached me and saluted, “Lieutenant Stone… The commander wants to see you in his quarters. He says it’s important.”
Nodding my head I replied, “Thanks, carry on.”
With that, I trotted passed him as I left the area and made my way to Commander Bolt’s tent.
When I arrived I stood outside as I spoke, “Commander Bolt, it’s Lieutenant Stone, permission to enter sir?...”
As I waited for a reply, I felt a little confused when a medic opened the tent and spoke, “oh… Lieutenant, sorry, but Commander Bolt surrendered his quarters as a second field hospital. If you need him he is currently staying in the unfinished bunker on the battlefield.”
I couldn’t help but feel surprised, “The bunker… really?”
The medic nodded as he replied, “yes, the commander says it would be better that the wounded are treated in a sterile place so he gave us his quarters to house some of the less serous casualties, that way the severely wounded could stay in the main hospital tent.”
Hearing this only made my opinion of the commander even better as I replied, “oh… well then… I’ll go see him… thanks.”
As the medic went back into the tent I made my way through the camp again until I reached the unfinished bunker that sat on the very edge of the battlefield. As I approached I looked across the field as I saw a small number of our soldiers gathering the dead and weaponry. As I looked through them, it was easy to see that there wasn’t a single Celestial Crusader in sight, dead or alive. Knowing that this meant that the crusaders truly were gone, I continued to the bunker as I approached it. The dug in bunker had logs placed on the side to create sturdy walls, but on top, since it was incomplete, Commander Bolt used a tarp to simulate a roof and ceiling.
As I approached the Bunker, I knocked on the door as I spoke, “Commander Bolt, it’s Lieutenant Stone, you wanted to see me sir?”
Commander Bolt’s voice replied, “Yes, come in lieutenant.”
As I entered the room, I could see Commander Bolt cleaning blood off his shield as he gestured to a chair and spoke, “take a seat, lieutenant.”
As I sat down in the chair next to him, Commander Bolt sat his shield down beside him as he sighed, “Lieutenant, the reason I asked you to come here was because I was approached by one of your soldiers shortly after the battle. He told me a few things about how you led the fight today, and he also mentioned something that made me feel a little… concerned. Do you know what it is?”
Hearing the tone of his voice told me that it wasn’t anything good as I thought about what it could be and replied, “Sir… I know I shouldn’t have called my soldiers to fall back… but… please know that I had good reason to do so.”
Commander Bolt gave me an expressionless stare as he replied, “And that is?...”
Feeling like a filly trying to tell her dad that she did something wrong, I replied, “Sir… my bow was damaged to an unusable point, and most of my soldiers were either dead… or missing. Since we were deeper into the battlefield then we originally planned, I felt that in order to save my remaining force, it was the right decision to fall back to safety. Once we got there we would still provide cover, but… we would need a safe place to do that from. That’s why I called us to fall back.”
Commander Bolt sat quietly for a few second before replying, “I understand that you had the wellbeing of your soldiers in mind… but you must understand that if you push forward, then fall back, then you’re weakening our control of the battlefield. And as all battles are fought, control is key. We all fight as one. You, your soldiers, Storm and his, Snow and his, and even me and mine. We all fight as one complete army, on a balanced scale. But if one side retreats, or even falls back, that scale will tip, and soon it will turn to a point that will allow the enemy to outflank a few, or all of us. It’s something that can’t happen, and as commander, I won’t let it happen. I'm not angry, but please keep that in mind. If I call the retreat, then by all means, run away. But if I'm continuing my push forward, then it’s with full confidence that you will continue behind me. Understand?”
Nodding my head as I looked down in shame, I replied, “Yes sir… it won’t happen again. I promise.”
Commander Bolt replied, “I'm sure it won’t… now onto the matter at hoof.”
“Wait… what?”
Commander Bolt smiled as he continued, “As I said before, I’m not mad about you calling to fall back. Actually I wanted to see you for another reason entirely.”
Looking back at him in shock I replied, “you mean that’s not why I’m here?...”
Commander Bolt shook his head as he replied, “well… no, sure it concerned me, but since it’s your first battle I was going to ignore it since Captain Storm set you straight.”
I felt completely embarrassed since I brought up a subject that could have been avoided as I replied, “then… why did you call me here sir?”
Commander Bolt replied with a sympathetic tone, “I wanted to talk to you about how you reacted after the battle…”
Feeling a little confused I asked, “After the battle sir?...”
Commander Bolt gave me a concerned look as he replied, “yes… when you looked at the trench that you lost your soldiers in. from what I hear, the sight made you sick didn’t it?”
Knowing what he was talking about I replied, “Oh… yes sir, it did. Well… when I looked at the bodies of the soldiers who died, I couldn’t hold it in. that sight, the smell of burning flesh, and the screams I heard when it happened were too much for me. It… it was…”
“Horrifying to a point of both physical… and mental nausea?...”
I gave Commander Bolt a surprised look as he nodded his head and continued, “It’s nothing like you could ever expect… nor get used to. Nevertheless that is war. And if you didn’t react the way you did, I’d be much more worried then proud.”
I looked at Commander Bolt as I asked, “is every battle like that?”
Commander Bolt gave me a serious look as he replied, “And if it is, what would you do about it?”
Not knowing how to answer that question, I replied, “well… I don’t know… I just…”
Commander Bolt sighed, “Yea… as I’d expect… Lieutenant, this is war; I wish I could sugar coat it but what you saw today, was one of our better days. And despite what I taught you and what you’re ordered to do… I want to ask you… do you want to leave?”
I looked at Commander Bolt in complete shock as I replied, “Wh-what?”
He continued, “like it or not… death, blood, and suffering is what waits for us on the next battlefield just as it was on this. So… if you can’t handle it, then you have my permission to lay your weapon down now, and leave without a single question asked. Or… don’t… the decision is yours.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Commander Bolt sat there giving me an emotionless stare as he gave me the option to either leave or stay without even the slightest effort to convince me to stay. As I sat there waiting for me to answer, I hesitated before replying, “you… want me to make my decision here… right now?...”
Commander Bolt nodded his head as he replied, “An impulse decision says more about you then a decision that you’ve had time to think about. So yea, I need an answer now…”
As I sat in the chair, I looked at the ground as I thought to myself. Was it that easy? Could I truly just say so and leave with no questions asked? Is he willing to give up all of the time he spent saving, teaching and building me into what I am now? Honestly I didn’t know… but when I looked back at him, I could see it in his eyes. He was serious; he is willing to let me go without even the slightest explanation… but even though his eyes said that… I just couldn’t.
Sighing in disappointment, I spoke, “You’re such a foal…”
Commander Bolt gave me a curious look as he replied, “excuse me?...”
Giving him an annoyed look I continued, “you heard me… you’re just a big foal. You think that just because I had a hard time looking at what happened to my soldiers that I can’t handle this war? Sir… with all due respect… you’re pretty foalish to downsize me like this… I told you already that no matter what the scenario, I will follow your orders with full trust in those said order, but this… you’re talking to me as if I was that stupid little filly from Cloudsdale that you took in a long time ago. But you need to understand one thing, commander… I signed up for this… and as your officer, I am willing to risk my life for the future of the Nightmare Legion… as long, as you’re willing to lead me. So thanks… but I’m not ready to run away just yet.”
I know what I said was borderline disrespect, but I wanted to make my message as clear as possible, so after I said what was said, I gave him a serious look as he smiled as if he expected my answer, “so… that’s a no?”
I didn’t reply, instead I nodded my head yes as he shook his head with a smirk, “you know I can’t promise you will survive the next battle.”
I nodded my head as I replied, “I know… but I also know that your orders have the wellbeing of my soldiers and I in mind… just as mine did.”
Commander Bolt chuckled as he replied, “well then… you can continue in your position and lead your soldiers… although… I’m afraid today’s victory was… a little less then I hoped for.”
Knowing what he was talking about, I replied, “I know… we lost a lot of ponies today… even Sergeant Tunder fell in today’s battle. I… I don’t know if I can face my soldiers after how I reacted.”
Commander Bolt sighed, “The only way you can face them is to tell them the truth.”
I gave him a curious look, “the truth?...”
Commander Bolt picked his shield back up as he spoke, “tell me lieutenant… why did you fall back… I’m sure your bow and soldier count wasn’t the only reason was it?”
Trying to think about the answer I replied, “I… I don’t know sir…”
He replied with a cheeky smile, “I do… you were afraid.” He looked up at me, “it’s alright to admit it you know… everypony is afraid in battle. Snow was afraid, Storm… even me. But continuing the fight despite that fear, that’s the difference between courage and cowardice. It’s alright to be afraid, and I think your soldiers would respect you a little more if you admit that you had a simple moment of weakness, and succumbed to that very fear.”
“But wouldn’t they lose confidence to know that I had the weakness to begin with?”
Commander Bolt smiled as he picked up a rag and continued cleaning his shield, “No… not if it were you who admitted it… you see lieutenant, as officers we build sort of a reputation amongst the lower enlisted soldiers. This reputation is what drives their respect and their confidence in us as their leaders. For Lieutenant Snow, it’s his nobility and chivalrous ways of fighting in, what he would call, a barbaric conflict. For Captain Storm, it’s his age and wisdom when it comes to warfare and military experience. For me, it’s the lightning orb and the way nightmare moon shows full confidence in my chances for victory in this war. And as for you… you hold a tender reputation, as a mare who is strong willed despite her feminine appearance. Some would even assume you hold a sort of motherly quality with the soldiers. It’s that tenderness that makes soldier respect you as much as they do. They see you as a strong mare who will carry them out of battle if they were ever wounded and lost in the conflict. And by showing more of those actions, you will not only build motivation in your solider, but those around you as well. I know it would make me admire you a little more.”
Hearing him say that made me blush a little, but it also convinced me that telling my solder the truth would truly build the bond a little more amongst my remaining soldiers as I replied, “if that would truly help… then I’ll tell them the truth.”
Commander Bolt smiled with confidence as he finished cleaning his weapon and sat it down on the ground, “then I’ll leave you to it. Now that I have confidence in your actions, I will let you get back to your troops… I’m sure they would like to see you more now than ever before.”
As I started standing up, I asked, “um… sir… may I ask you for something?”
Commander Bolt stood up as he replied, “Sure lieutenant, what do you need?”
I felt a little nervous as I replied, “once we get the casualty count, and the wounded stabilized… I would like to request some time off for my soldiers. I’m not saying a full day… but at least a night to rest and recuperate. Perhaps a memorial banquet for the fallen.”
Commander Bolt smiled at me as he replied, “there it is… that’s exactly what I’m talking about. Caring for your soldiers before yourself. Actually yes… I did plan some kind of celebratory feast… but a memorial banquet would be better. Not to mention it could give our soldiers a little closer for their fallen friends. In fact, that is your instruction for the night. Locate and notify the cooks, as soon as possible. Tonight may be too soon, but tomorrow night would be perfect. Not to mention we should be receiving a thousand troops from the training camp tomorrow afternoon to help restock our troop count and some well needed supplies.”
Feeling a little relieved about the incoming reinforcements, I nodded my head as I replied, “Understood sir, then I’ll get on it as soon as possible.”
Commander Bolt smiled as he replied, “Then you’re dismissed.”
As I turned to leave the bunker, I stopped when I saw Colonel Dust’s reaper sitting against the wall next to the doorway with the blood cleaned off. Seeing this, I asked, “Um… commander… is that Colonel Dust’s sword?”
Looking at the sword, Commander Bolt’s expression disappeared as he replied, “oh… yea… it’s hers.”
Nodding my head I had to ask, “I know she used to be your friend and all… but I have to ask… did… did she go peacefully?”
Commander Bolt smiled as he replied, “no… in fact she did nothing but complain the whole time. But needless to say she left all the same.”
Hearing him say that, I gave him a funny look, “wait… Left?... you mean you didn’t kill her?”
Commander Bolt shook his head, “no… through all I pushed through and all I had to face in that battle. I just couldn’t kill her.”
Turning completely towards Commander Bolt I asked, “But… I thought the battle was only over when the enemy commander dies.”
Commander Bolt stood up and replied, “Or if the enemy commander surrenders. So that’s how it ended.”
I had to ask, “But… how did you get her to surrender?”
Commander Bolt sighed a little as he replied, “after I made it to her, we did clash swords. As expected she was a tough opponent and not to offend mares but if she wasn’t a she… then I'm certain she would have won. But since males had a natural advantage in strength I was successful in subduing her. And… when I had her on the ground and disarmed, I found that… even now, while she was trying to kill me… I just couldn’t deal the final blow.”
Curious I asked, “So… if you don’t mind my asking… how did you get her to surrender?”
Commander Bolt smiled a little as he replied, “I didn’t, I surrendered for her.”
Now I was really confused as I replied, “y-you?… but…. H-how exactly does that work?”
Commander Bolt looked at me with his smile as he replied, “When she refused to surrender, I took her sword from her and used a bow dropped by one of her archers to send up the surrender for her. Since it was easy to see that she couldn’t continue the fight, everypony assumed it was her who sent up the signal so she decided to just accept it and play along.”
A little shocked, I replied, “and… everypony believed it?”
Commander Bolt nodded as he continued, “As you can see they did. She knew that with this surrender the battle could end, and both our soldiers could stop killing one another so she realized that by accepting this surrender she was accepting the mercy I was trying to show to both her and her soldiers. After all, I’m not as heartless as the stories claim me to be.”
This seemed strange so I asked, “But… what about the blood I saw on the sword before?”
Commander Bolt smiled, “I'm not the only pony she fought during the battle. She killed plenty before she faced me. It’s only natural that their blood would still be on the blade.”
After he explained it to me, I thought to myself as I replied, “I… didn’t think it was as simple as that… and you said you couldn’t kill her?”
Commander Bolt nodded his head, “Colonel Dust and I have always had a love-hate relationship… but in the end, we were still friends.”
“But… I thought you taught me that someday I may have to kill a friend. And that I should be ready.”
He replied as he started sharpening his shield, “Being ready, and doing it are two different things. But in the end, we can only do what our conscience can allow.”
I had to ask, “and what about you?... will your conscience allow it?… When you face Commander Mist?...”
Commander Bolt didn’t reply to the question, instead he turned to me and replied, “Lieutenant… don’t you have soldiers to see, and cooks to inform?...”
Feeling that I may have overstepped my place on the subject, I replied, “Of course sir… I better do it before I forget…”
As I turned to reach for the door handle, Commander Bolt spoke, “Lieutenant…” I looked back at him as he continued “I know that it’s difficult to trust me, or my actions… but please know that I must uphold my place as commander… and that I will always make the decision that is best for my army, and this war.”
Looking back at the commander, I smiled, “of course sir… I always trust your orders… with… my own life.”
Hearing me say that Commander Bolt smiled as he replied, “Also… if I didn’t say it before. Good job out there today. I’m glad to see you survived the battle, and with barely a scratch too.”
Hearing this, I turned completely to him as I stood at attention and saluted, “thank you sir. And it’s good to see you survived as well.”
As Commander Bolt saw my action which was kinda sarcastic, he smiled as he too saluted in a good-little-soldier way and replied, “Lieutenant… you’re dismissed.”
Smiling at his action, I dropped my salute as I turned and exited the bunker and closed the door behind me. As I stood outside the bunker, I turned back to the door and started thinking to myself. As tough and strong as Commander Bolt was, he was still a kind hearted stallion with the same conscience as anypony you could pick out of a crowd. And even then, he still kept his appearance and the morale of his followers in mind so that none of them could ever regret their actions or their decision to follow him. He truly was a misunderstood leader. And… if the rumors were true, he is doing it all for a mare that he loves. I… I wish I could have his strength. I wish there were a pony in my life that I’m willing to do everything he does in hopes of protecting. I wish I had somepony that was worth all that stress and hardship. After thinking this, I slowly started trotting away from the door, until one last thought crossed my mind as I stopped and looked back at the door one last time as I mumbled my last thought, “Maybe… I do…”