Sunset Shimmer sighed as she looked longingly at the school statue. Ever since she’d tried and failed to take over Canterlot High, things had been rough. She could only blame herself. No one forced her to put on Twilight’s crown and turn her fellow students into mind-controlled zombies. The only reason why she stayed was for her five new friends. Well, “friends” was a strong word. Even Pinkie Pie kept her at arm’s length, and she liked everyone. Sunset knew they were trying to help, but open wounds like the one she caused mere weeks ago still festered. “What would you do Twilight?” she asked the open air.
There was an hour left before class started, and she still had a lot of brick laying to do. The gaping hole she had blasted into the face of the school was not going to fix itself. A flash of light caught her eye. She turned to see the portal in the statue opening. Sunset’s breath caught in her throat as the magical doorway burst into existence and deposited a tall, lanky human and a small dog onto the pavement.
Ernest groaned and rubbed his eyes. “Rimshot, I think they flushed us down a leprechaun’s toilet. Did you see all those swirling colors?”
The beagle simply scratched at his ears.
Ernest shrugged. “Well, I guess after being a wooden dog for a while, nothing phases you anymore.”
“Are you alright?”
The redneck saw a teenage girl looking down at him. “Yes, ma’am. I’m right as rain without the cloud. Ya know what I mean?”
The girl gave Ernest an odd look. “Uh, I guess.”
The strange man stood. “Well, thanks for the help, but I gotta catch a bus back to Briarville. Home sweet home. Land of mules, bluebirds, but no trolls. No need to thank me, cause you are welcome. Come on, Rimshot.”
Rimshot barked happily as he padded beside his master.
Sunset looked at the departing figures and shrugged. She was tired of dealing with other people and ponies. Who cares if he came from Equestria? Not her problem. She was about to go back to her punishment when something Twilight had said stuck in her memory.
“The magic of friendship doesn’t just exist in Equestria. It’s everywhere. You can seek it out, or you can forever be alone.”
With these words fresh in her mind, Sunset turned and called after the stranger, “Wait!”
Ernest stopped, surprised that she wanted to talk to him.
“I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Sunset Shimmer.”
“Nice to meet ya,” Ernest said, shaking hands. “My name is Ernest. Ernest P. Worrell.”
“So, what brings you to Canterlot High? Did Celestia or Twilight Sparkle send you?”
Ernest’s eyes widened. “How’d you know? Are you a friend of Princess Twilight?”
Sunset’s face darkened. “I don’t know,” she said slowly.
Rimshot yipped at his master.
“Oh, sorry boy,” Ernest said. “This is Rimshot. Me and him have been through a lot together. Dumpster diving, troll fighting. . . if you name it, he’s probably sniffed it and ate it.”
The teenager smiled and petted the dog’s head.
Ernest’s eyes darted around. “Uh, Sunset, where exactly is Canterlot High? It sounds Canadian or Scottish. If “high” is in the name of a town, we have to be way up North.”
Sunset Shimmer couldn’t help but laugh at Ernest’s logic. “Let’s go to the school. There are several maps you can look at in the library. You said that Briarville was your home?”
“Yes, ma’am”
“And Briarville is over here on this side of the portal?”
“Yep.”
“But aren’t you an Equine?”
“No, ma’am. Southern Baptist.”
Sunset shook her head, “No, I mean aren’t you from Equestria? Like me? Are you a unicorn, pegasus, or an earth pony?”
Ernest frowned. “No, I’ve always been what I’ve looked like, two arms, two legs, one hat.”
This time Sunset frowned, but didn’t press him further. When they were back on school grounds, Ernest whistled as he looked at the enormous crater and the gaping hole in the front of the school.
“Wow, you guys have a massive gopher problem. What do you think, Rimshot, ten or eleven?”
Rimshot pawed the ground.
“Naw, if there were fifteen gophers, it’d be three feet deeper.”
“Actually, I caused that,” Sunset said slowly.
Ernest stared at Sunset in disbelief. “You let a gang of those goofy grounded gremlins out in the same place?” The redneck shook his head. “What are they teaching at this school?”
“No, it wasn’t gophers. I . . . forget about it. The library is down the hall and to your right. You can’t miss it. I think Miss Cheerilee is here so you can ask her for help.” And with that, Sunset got back to work smoothing out the mortar for the next layer of bricks.
Ernest started down the hallway. He took a few steps before turning around. He scratched his chin for a few moments before picking Rimshot up and whispering. “Hey boy, do you think you can snag me one of those maps from the library without getting caught?”
The beagle gave a hesitant bark.
“How much will it cost me? If I’m not mistaken, this is for your benefit, too.”
Rimshot yipped twice before sticking out his tongue and panting.
Ernest eyed his dog for a moment before saying, “Okay, fine. But I want a map that can get me out of the Bermuda Triangle or at least a Chucky Cheese ball pit.”
Rimshot nodded and hopped down.
Ernest turned his attention back to Sunset Shimmer. “Not that you’re doing a bad job, but shouldn’t the resident custodian be doing that?”
“He quit,” The teenager replied tersely. “Why aren’t you at the library?”
“Oh, I got Rimshot taking care of that. He knows what he’s looking for. Would you like some help with that? A gentleman of my upbringing cannot stand by and let a lady do a man’s job.”
Sunset was caught off guard by Ernest’s chauvinistic offer to help. But in spite of that, no one had stepped forward to assist her. Not since Snips and Snails had quit after complaining of back aches and blisters. “I appreciate the offer, Ernest, but I made this mess, too. I don’t think the principal would be happy if she found out someone else was helping me.”
Ernest smiled. “Then you’re in luck, because I’m not just a someone. I am Ernest P. Worrell, Baron of Bricks, Master of Mortar, and Tyrant of Trowels at your service.”
The reformed delinquent shook her head and grinned. “Well, I can’t pass up help like that. Hand me some more bricks.”
The minutes flew by as the strange pair worked and talked until it was almost time for the busses to arrive.
“So you followed a troll to Equestria, got knocked out by a tree, woke up in a hospital, met Twilight Sparkle, armed wrestled a minotaur, got lost in the Everfree Forest again, gave away your truck, took a train to the Crystal Empire, and now you’re rebuilding a wall with one of Celestia’s greatest disappointments. Sounds like you’ve had an interesting last few days.”
Ernest nodded. “Yep, a typical week in the life of yours truly. But you got one thing wrong, Sunny. I am building a wall with a bright young lady who knows that she had done wrong. You should be proud. I mean, you’re like Shredder telling the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles that you’re sorry and that you want to be a ninja turtle, too. Ya know what I mean?”
“Not at all, but I think I understand what you’re trying to say, and I really appreciate it. Outside of Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Fluttershy, you’re the only person who’s talked to me like I’m not an evil she demon.”
“Hey, even evil she demons have feelings.”
Sunset Shimmer laughed. She was about to reply when someone cleared their throat behind her.
She smiled nervously. “Oh, vice-principal Luna, what can I do for you?”
Luna gave Sunset a disapproving look. “Were the principal and I not clear that you were supposed to do this work on your own?”
“Yes, but—”
“No buts, Shimmer. I should—”
“Excuse me, ma’am,” Ernest piped up.
Luna turned her attention to the odd man in a denim vest.
“My name is Ernest P. Worrell, and I heard y’all were out a janitor? Is that right?”
“Yes, unfortunately it is,” the vice principle said, fighting to keep the disgust out of her voice.
“That’s what I thought. Well, have no fear little lady, because your salvation is here.” The redneck produced a well-folded wad of papers from his back jeans pocket. “Here is the résumé of a man who has seen it all and done it all.”
Sighing, Luna took the yellowed papers from Ernest and began to skim over them.
Sunset mouthed to Ernest, “What are you doing?”
The troll fighter winked in reply.
Moments later, the vice principle admitted, “This résumé is impressive, but I don’t see on here where you went to college. Not even what high school you graduated from. Why is this information absent, Mr. Worrell?”
Ernest’s confidence evaporated like cold water on a hot stove. The redneck gulped, “Well, that’s because, I, uh, never finished high school.”
Luna rubbed her eyes in exasperation. “That is a problem, Mr. Worrell.”
“Please, call me Ernest.”
“Fine, Ernest. I won’t beat around the bush. We desperately need more janitors. But you need at least a high school degree to apply for the position. So I have a proposition for you. The school will hire you on temporarily until someone more qualified can be found. Your wages will be lower than the full-time staff members. We’ll sort out the rest of the details in an hour after my meeting with principal Celestia. Are these terms suitable?”
The troll fighter thought about this arrangement for a moment before sticking out his hand. “Put ‘er there, partner.”
Luna rolled her eyes and shook Ernest’s hand. “For your first assignment, I want you to stop by the library and talk to Ms. Cheerilee. It seems she’s caught a beagle trying to make off with a large globe. Probably one of Fluttershy's escapees from the animal shelter.”
Sunset and Ernest exchanged glances before Luna pointed at the teenager. “And you, get yourself cleaned up and report to class.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
With that, vice-principal Luna turned and disappeared down the dimly lit hallway.
“Just wondering, Sunny, was it you who messed up the lights in this place?”
“No, they’ve been like that for a while,” Sunset Shimmer shrugged. “Thanks for bailing me out, but why do you want a job here? I thought you were trying to get back to Briarville.”
“I am, but something occurred to me a little while ago.”
“What’s that?”
“I’m kind of broke. And I don’t think the bus fare will be free.”
“I’m afraid not. Come on. Let’s see if we can rescue Rimshot.”
The two made their way to the library. They found the librarian watching a beagle study a large map hanging on a wall.
“Howdy, ma’am. I heard that you have a canine issue in the area?”
Cheerilee tore her eyes off the dog. “Uh, yes. I have no idea where that dog came from. He keeps trying to leave with geography equipment. Books, maps, globes, stuff like that. I’ve never seen anything like it. Every time I take my eyes off him, he tries to take something.”
Ernest nodded. “Hmmm, fascinating. This sounds like a classic case of cart fever.”
“Cart fever?” the librarian asked.
“Short for cartography fever. A dog of his breed catches a virus that makes him absolutely enamored with anything that has to do with map making. It’ll pass, but I feel sorry for his owner. They’ll have to put up with the howls of frustration from the beagle because he can’t hold a compass or use a pencil.”
The librarian gave Ernest a curious look. “I’m sorry, but who are you?”
“He’s the new temporary janitor,” declared Sunset. “I’m showing him around the school before classes start.”
“Oh, vice-principal Luna said that help was coming.” The librarian leaned over to Ernest and whispered, “Keep an eye on Shimmer. She’s a handful.”
Cheerilee straightened. “I’ll leave you to it then.”
When the librarian was out of sight, Ernest crouched down in front of Rimshot. “What happened? I didn’t want you to take the whole library. What do you have to say for yourself?”
Rimshot barked loudly and pointed at the map hanging on the wall.
Ernest followed the dog’s outstretched paw and stared at the map in disbelief. “Are they all like this one boy? Even the globes and books?”
Rimshot nodded.
“What? What’s wrong?” Sunest Shimmer asked.
“This world map is just like the maps we were looking at in Twilight’s library.”
“Uh, what does that mean?”
“It means that Rimshot and I are still not where we’re supposed to be. But we’re not in England or Camelot anymore either.”
Sunset took a step back. “So what you’re saying is you’re from another world?”
Ernest nodded. “Well, Sunny, I gotta find a place to hide Rimshot for the day and then get to work. A deal’s a deal despite the fact I’m more lost than a misplaced ‘Where’s Waldo’ book. I got a job to do now.”
“I have an idea,” the teenager said. “Let me take care of Rimshot. Fluttershy will know the best place to hide pets from the faculty.”
The troll fighter hesitated, but in the end he handed the beagle over to Sunny. “Take care of him. He’s all I got.”
Sunset Shimmer nodded. “Meet me and the rest of the girls after school today, and we’ll talk about what to do next.”
“Okay. Thanks, buddy. I appreciate it.”
“Hey, it’s what friends are for.”