What is WRONG with me, Spike thought as he walked sullenly through Ponyville with his head down. Today had started off so simple, and now he had embarrassed three of his friends without even trying to. Well, he thought, kind of. It was almost as if some sort of external force was guiding him to stumble upon everypony during their most secretive moments, but he quickly dismissed the thought. He was, after all, letting his curiosity get the better of himself. Today in particular he seemed to have an insatiable curiosity.
There were some food stalls set up in town, he noticed as he made his way back to the castle. He wasn't looking forward to coming back to see Twilight. Would she still be embarrassed, or even worse, mad? Probably not, Spike thought. Twilight wasn't one to hold a grudge, being that she was the Princess of Friendship after all. But she'd probably feel embarrassed for a very, very long time. At least nopony else but him knew about all of these secrets he had been uncovering.
Feeling especially bad about himself, Spike decided he would buy a pie for Twilight as a token of apology for his intrusive behavior. It wouldn't really help in regards to Rainbow Dash or Fluttershy, but he was pretty sure neither of them really wanted anything to do with Spike anyways. Not even if it involved an apology pie.
As he strode into town, Spike came up to a fruit pie stall that was selling several different varieties and handed the vendor several bits in exchange for a cherry cobbler. It smelled deliciously as it warmed his chest. He just hoped that Twilight would be calmed down when he returned. But it wasn't a minute later until suddenly, he stubbed his claw against a rock in the middle of the road that seemingly had not been there before, sending his delicious cherry cobbler flying through the air and landing on the dusty road with a wet plop.
Spike moaned in exaggerated despair. Why? WHY? he questioned the universe with a shaking fist up at the sky. After a few moments, he composed himself and got back to his feet. Okay, I'll just go back and buy another, he thought, and did just so, keeping an extra vigilant watch for any stray rocks that seemed to phase into existence in front of his feet.
"I'd like a cherry cobbler," Spike said to the pie merchant, handing over another pile of bits.
"You're in luck," replied the vendor, "this is my last one!"
Whew, Spike thought. At least something was going his way today.
An orange pony wearing a fancy dress, a hat with a feather in it, and a large pair of decorative shades muttered something behind him. "Dang nabbit! Er..I mean...that sucks!" The pony's voice quickly changed from a southern drawl to an odd, flat accent.
"Sorry, miss," said the vendor, "but that was our last cobbler. We'll have plenty tomorrow!"
The pony simply nodded and began to leave, but Spike felt a twinge of guilt and generosity overcome him. It would feel nice to do something good for somepony, he thought. Twilight wouldn't mind if he just got a different flavor of pie, after all. And this pony seemed dead set on getting a cherry cobbler, he couldn't help but jog over to her and offer the pie.
However, upon seeing Spike enter her vision, the pony jerked back and Spike could have sworn he saw their eyes widen in shock before him.
"Excuse me, miss!" Spike shouted at her as she hurriedly trotted in the opposite direction. "Miss, I'd like to give you my pie!"
"That's er--fine! I'll just come on back tomorra', er--I mean, too-marr-oh!"
Who the hay is this pony? Spike thought briefly, but continued in his chase to complete his offer of generosity. The orange fur, the frayed yellow mane. Applejack? he thought. Applejack didn't exactly wear fancy clothing such as the kind on this pony. But who else did he know with that particular color combo?
Still chasing after the mystery pony, and feeling some similarities to earlier in the day, Spike yelled out to her, "Applejack?"
The pony skidded to a halt in the dirt, sending dust flying in the air around her. "Applejack, is that you?" he asked again.
Applejack turned around slowly and took off the hat and shades. "Yes, it is," said Applejack with an urgent whisper, "now get over here in this here alleyway."
He followed her into the secluded area that was the nearby alleyway with a bewildered look on his face holding the cherry cobbler between his claws.
"Okay..." she said solemnly, "you've found me out."
"Uhhh..." Spike paused in confusion, "what exactly did I find out? That you like to wear fancy clothing?"
"No, no," Applejack replied and lowered her voice to a whisper, "that I like...cherry pie..."
Spike stared at Applejack in unamused disbelief. Really...that's what you're so embarrassed about? "What's so embarrassing about liking cherry pi--"
"SHH!" Applejack shushed Spike with her hoof, nearly causing him to lose his balance and drop it on the ground again. "Nopony can know, ya hear?"
"Yeah, sure," Spike said reassuringly.
Applejack however, was not reassured. "Don't you know what everypony would say about me if they found out I liked cherry pie...more that apple pie?"
"I don't know..."
"Well, it wouldn't be good," Applejack replied. "Apples are my life, Spike. I wake up in the morning and go apple-buckin'. I eat an apple every day for lunch. I make apple fritters for desert. My own name has the word apple in it!"
"Just because your life revolves around appl--"
"--My family's livelihood is based around apples. My great gran-daddy was an apple farmer, and so was his great gran-daddy! My sister is named after apples. My brother Macintosh is named after apples. My granny is named after apples! Apples, apples, apples!"
Spike's eyes widened in horror at the display that was unfolding in front of him, all while holding the cherry pie gingerly between his claws.
"--and I'm cursed by my own tastebuds!" Applejack continued her manic episode, her voice picking up speed frantically. "I can't get enough of 'em, Spike. Cherries are so delicious, I just can't stop goin' out and buyin' 'em."
"Maybe you could--"
"--Why couldn't my favorite fruit be apples? Why? Why in the name of Celestia must I be forever tortured by this darn curse!"
"Spike," Applejack said with distress, "you've gotta make sure nopony ever asks me about my favorite type of pie. You know I can't lie!"
"Sure thing," he replied.
"Or anything else involving any other fruit than apples, just to be safe, okay?"
"Sure thing," Spike replied. "Also," Spike added, "technically cherries are a type of berry, not a fruit."
Applejack stopped for a moment, seemingly intrigued by this fact.
Spike continued, "oh, but berries are just a subclass of fruit so I guess technically they still are."
"CONSARN IT!" Applejack yelled, causing Spike to leap a foot into the air and loose his hold on the cherry cobbler, which once again fell with a wet plop onto the ground.