“You got this, Spike! Just one last lap!” Flash cheered me on as we both ran laps around the ground level of the Castle of Friendship’s exterior.
The sun hadn’t even risen this morning, and I already lost count of how many jumping jacks, push ups, sit-ups, laps, and a bunch of other drills I did. My lungs burned, my entire body felt like lead, and everything else either hurt or lost feeling about an hour ago.
I squeezed out every ounce of strength I had in me as I trudged my way towards the final lap that ended at the castle door. It felt so impossibly far away as exhaustion threatened to overtake me with every step. How Flash was able to do these exercises with me while still recovering from that battle with the changeling and Pinkie Pie several days ago was both impressive and worrying.
Flash never openly said it, but just from the amount of sweat that poured off him and the tension on his face whenever he did something strenuous, I guessed that his wounds wore him down far more than he was willing to admit. Ironically, seeing him fight through his wounds just to train with me made me want to try that much harder. Couldn’t bring myself to let him down.
I’d barely made a few meters more before my legs betrayed me and I collapsed on my side. I could barely move, breathe, or keep my eyes open as the world spun around me.
“Spike!” Flash dropped next to me almost instantly. His worried face was just visible through my bleary vision. “Deep breaths. In. Out. In. Out.”
I gasped greedily for air. My chest felt like it was going to burst any second. “I can’t do it.”
“Yes you can.” Flash’s voice was calm as he crawled on his belly next to me. “You’re almost there, Spike. Just a little further.”
“I can’t move." I murmured between pants. "I’m… I’m just not... cut out for this.”
I hated to admit it, but I couldn’t see myself making it through this sort of training regimen every day. Let alone today. I wasn’t like Flash, Applejack, or Rainbow, who could pull off these crazy stressful workout routines or awesome feats. Hay, I wasn’t even like most dragons who grew up to be strong and hungry for new challenges. I was just... well, Spike. Twilight’s number one assistant and backstage support for everypony else.
I noticed a hint of something pass behind Flash’s eyes. He frowned, looking like he'd swallowed something awful. He probably just realized that he picked the wrong dragon for this kind of training.
After a moment, his eyes brightened.
“Spike,” Flash crept closer until we were in whispering distance, “I know everything hurts right now. Things look bleak and out of reach. Right now, you’re probably telling yourself this is impossible for you and you want to stop. But look at how far you made it. Look at how close you are to the finish line.”
I blearily followed Flash’s gaze to the doorstep. He continued. “Every Royal Guard goes through what you’re feeling right now. I couldn’t tell you how many times I wanted to just give up and be done with the Guard during my months in basic. But this is no different than saving somepony’s life from an impossible situation. Only the stakes are higher. Every inch you make is one that could save a life. Every inch you refuse to take could end a life. At this very moment, you have the choice to take that inch.
“That doorstep could be somepony in trouble. It could be a safe haven that keeps you alive. All you have to do is get there, one step at a time. Like this.”
Flash pulled himself forward, inching closer to the goal. “Don’t think too much about how far the goal is. Just think about getting there. Follow my lead. Breathe in. Move. Breathe out. Breathe in. Move. Breathe out.”
I watched Flash do just that; take in a breath, pull forward, release breath, rinse and repeat. The sound of his belly brushing against the earth as he crawled distracted me from the weary aching I felt.
He was about halfway towards the goal when he looked back at me. “Now your turn,” he called.
With a grunt, I rolled over onto my stomach, ignoring my protesting muscles. “Breathe in…” I sucked in a breath. “Move…” I slowly pulled my heavy body forward, wincing at the aches in my joints. “Breathe out…” And I released the breath I held.
“Focus on your breathing. Take it one move at a time, but don’t let yourself stop. Once you give in to the temptation, it’s all over.”
“Breathe in. Move. Breathe out. Breathe in. Move. Breathe out.” I repeated it over and over like a mantra, focusing on Flash who was chanting it while crawling.
“Good. You got it. Now, move like I do and say what I say.” Flash took in a breath and reached forward. “No fear!” And pulled himself up.
I breathed in and reached out. “No fear!” I said as I pulled forward.
With his other forehoof, he repeated the movement. “Yes I can!”
I mimicked his movements. “Yes I can!”
“No fear!”
“No fear!”
“Yes I can!”
“Yes I can!”
It was an oddly mesmerizing chant. Flash waited for me to reach him until we were moving in sync with each, repeating that chant over and over. Everything still hurt, but I poured my focus on movements and breathing, using the chant as both something to concentrate on and control my breathing.
“No fear! Yes I can! No fear! Yes I— OW!”
I winced as my face slammed into something cold and hard. What in the world did I run into?
“Spike. Open your eyes.”
“Huh...?”
Slowly I cracked an eye open, only to catch Flash standing up and beaming at me. Confused, I looked around around to see what he was smiling about.
My hands were resting on the doorstep.
“You did it! You freaking did it!” Flash whooped.
Right then it hit me. I made it. I didn’t think I would make it, but I did.
“I really did do it…!” If I could feel my cheek, I would have smiled.
“I got ya, champ. Up and at ‘em.” Flash carefully scooped me up and let me rest on his back. I didn’t even care that his fur was sticky with sweat and dirt. It was warm and somewhat comfortable.
“Can I go back to bed now?” I asked drowsily. Flash tossed me a weird look.
“Are you serious? The day barely started, and I need your help to continue surveillance with—” Flash stopped himself, looked around us, then started again, “Trojan. I would go myself if I could, but I still have a few days of healing left before I can finally help with some surveillance runs.”
“Can’t I get a break?” I grumbled.
Flash glanced off to the side. A wan smile flickered on his face. “Been asking myself that ever since this mission started…”
“What was that?”
“I said I’ll give you a few hours of rest before you get started.”
Flash shifted his wings to keep me snug on his back before entering the castle. “I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but one day you’re gonna look back on this and be glad you got this kind of training.”
“You’re right. It doesn’t feel like it.” I yawned, eyes drooping.
Flash laughed. “You know, I said the same exact thing to Shining Armor when he was training me. If you think my training is tough, you do not want to be training under him.”
At the mention of Shining Armor, there was a noticeable rise in Flash’s pitch and broad smile on his muzzle. “If you try to slack around him he will rip you a new one faster than you can blink. I don’t know how he does it, but he always finds a way to shake up a drill or routine to keep us thinking on our hooves to help prevent things getting too comfortable. But the best way to get on his good side is to just give it your all, even if you fail horribly or can’t finish. After all, if you can’t give your best in a controlled environment, then you can forget being able to survive in a hostile environment.”
I knew Shining Armor almost as long as I knew Twilight. While I had a feeling Shining Armor would be a tough leader on his troops, the way Flash talked about him sounded almost nothing like the dorky and cool big brother pony I thought I knew. Military life really does change a pony.
“You really look up to him, huh?” I asked.
“Better believe it. He’s really come through for me in the years that I’ve known him. I also appreciate how he never treated me differently in training just because we knew each other. I learned a lot about the guard and what it means to be a stallion thanks to him.” Flash turned his head and tossed me a small smile. “Hey, just so you know. If you ever need somepony to talk to. You know, male-to-male or any of that, you can talk to me anytime.”
Maybe I was just too exhausted, but while that was a nice gesture, that seemed just a little random. “I appreciate it, Flash. Although I gotta ask; what made you say that?”
“Heh, I suppose that did kind of come out of nowhere, huh?” Flash chuckled to himself as he rubbed at the back of his neck. There was subtle tension in his wing muscles. “It’s just, well, training with you reminded me of something important I’d almost forgotten about. Thought you should know that I’m here for you anytime you need it. Even if it’s not about the mission. Even if it’s guy stuff, you know? Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is you can trust me.”
It took a second, but I managed to get the gist of what he was driving at. Though we were both focused on the mission and doing what he could, he wanted to form a genuine friendship with me.
While I appreciated how forthcoming Flash was about it, he clearly didn’t know me well enough if he left himself open so wide.
Between Big Mac and sometimes Discord, I had my fair share of having the ‘guy talk’ with them. But the question remained if Flash knew what I knew about that sort of topic.
Time to have a little fun with the captain.
“What do you mean by 'guy stuff'?” I asked, restraining my grin.
Instantly Flash’s face grew uncomfortable. “How do you not… er… I mean, it’s guy stuff. Topics we don’t usually talk about around the ladies, or just personal stuff. Have you ever had that kind of talk with anypony?”
Oh, this was just too easy.
“Considering I hang around Twilight and the others all the time, not really,” I lied. Forget sleeping. I just had to mess with Flash a bit more. Especially since we were well into the castle by now, Twilight should already be up and about to get ready for the day. “So talking about ladies is part of this ‘guy stuff’, huh? What about ladies would we talk about?”
Flash stopped cold and gaped at me as if I told him I didn’t know who Celestia was. “Are you being serious right now? You never talked to anypony about mares?”
It took almost all of my will to keep from smirking when I caught Twilight about to turn the corner and greet us, only to freeze. Flash’s focus was on me so he didn’t notice a thing. Perfect.
I climbed off of Flash and made sure he kept his eyes on me so he wouldn’t notice Twilight. It took a moment for my legs to stay stable and a helping wing from Flash to make sure I didn’t immediately fall over. “Who would I really talk to about mares? Twilight?”
“Hm, good point. Okay, so be real with me,” Flash cleared his throat as he regarded me with the most serious expression I’ve ever seen, “are you into ponies? Mares in particular?”
“I, uh…” Now I was the one who was caught off guard. With Twilight standing behind him and staring at us, this was awkward even for me. “Y-yeah, I like mares and stuff.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging you one way or another. Who you’re attracted to is your business. Though considering the kind of company you keep, can’t say I blame you.” Flash stroked his chin thoughtfully as he nodded to himself. “Very pretty company if I’m being honest.”
“Like Twilight?”
Flash flushed as he scratched at his chin nervously. “T-that is, uh… well… that’s different.”
“Come on, it’s like you said, I can talk to you about this stuff. Knowing your thoughts about Twilight will help me understand how to think about mares.”
“You don’t find that weird? I mean, I get that you two aren't related, but it feels like you’re asking me to talk about your hot mom and why I think she’s hot.”
At the corner of my eye, I caught Twilight hiding her red face in her hooves. Were it not for her hilarious reaction, this conversation would be downright disturbing. “No, it’s not like that with us. We’re family, but friends as well. Somewhere in between. So you thinking that Twilight’s hot is okay. Weirds me out a bit, but it’s okay.”
Never thought I would be the one making Flash sweat like he was in court.
“I-I see. Well, if you’re asking for my thoughts on Twilight as a mare, I think she’s great. Courageous. Friendly. Brilliant. Has an amazing voice. Has great, er, assets any stallion could respect. Really nails that ‘cute mare next door’ vibe. I like Twilight… i-in the most respectful way possible, of course.
“But something that’s important for you to know is that you can’t hedge all of your bets just because somepony is pretty or they make you feel warm and fuzzy. You have to really get to know somepony. Learn who they truly are at their core and never settle only for what you see on the surface.” Flash’s gaze fell as he frowned deeply. “Or else you will regret it.”
Oh. That got heavy in a hurry.
I’m not sure what caused such a shift in Flash, but whatever he was thinking about really made him upset. Before I could think to ask what he was talking about, he fixed his expression and smiled at me. “Anyway, just take your time getting to know somepony and don’t rush for the, ahem, prize. Did that help?”
“Yeah, it did.” I stole a subtle glance where Twilight was, only to find her gone. This was supposed to be a bit of fun with Flash, but I ended up learning a little bit more about Flash than I thought. I wonder what warped his mood so badly. “Thanks for the talk, but I think I’m gonna catch some sleep while I can.”
“Of course. I’ll wake you up about noon so you can relax and go out for the day.” Which was code for changeling-hunting with Trojan. Trojan told use to speak openly about the mission strictly when we were alone and away from the castle or town, otherwise speaking in code.
“Alright. I’ll see you later then.” I hurried off to my room to get some much needed shut-eye. For now, I decided to put that little awkward moment with Flash in the backburner and focus on spending time with Trojan later.
If this morning was any indication, this was likely to be a long day.
I was quite the busy changeling for the last several days.
With Flash staying low to avoid drawing too much attention to himself, I had the responsibility of getting my love consultation office set up, restoring the damaged status quo left in Carrot Cake’s wake, seeking out my brethren hiding throughout Ponyville and watching out for Twilight and her snooping friends, who had been investigating the incident that injured Flash when we first started. With only Spike for assistance, who was forced to divide his time between aiding me with the search, keeping an eye on Twilight, and combat training with Flash, I barely had any time to settle down or establish my usual infiltration strategies.
Under normal circumstances, this would not have been a problem. Simply business as usual for someling such as myself. But to go against my own brethren and have my magic and senses crippled thanks to this detestable slave collar was a situation changelings had never encountered before. I wasn’t used to feeling so isolated, as I always had a connection with my hive. I always felt their reassuring presence even in the back of my mind. Until now.
Today was the first day I actually had time to allow myself to meditate in the safety of my room. Surrounded by bright pink colors, stuffed plushies and pillows that crowded the corners of my room, I nestled in the center with my holed legs crossed and forelegs rested on my knees. Eyes closed and taking deep, controlled breaths I emptied my mind and focused only on my breathing.
Mother always made us practice meditation everyday to both strengthen our mental fortitude and release pent-up stress and tension. This was especially important ever since we inherited that vile pathos. With everything that happened, I was going to need all the mental stability I could get to stay in control.
I felt the chilling pulse of pathos surging through me everyday, crawling through my veins and attempting to worm its way into my emotional center. There was a disturbing number of Ponyville citizens who had small fragments of pathos energy in them and I had to drain them of it. Thankfully I found nopony who had a dangerous amount in them like Carrot Cake did, which would warrant warning Flash or Spike about it. The last thing I need was for them to do something stupid again and botch it up.
As my mind drifted to the topic of pathos, I realized how odd it was that the ponies had so little pathos energy in them. Not enough to truly utilize for a strong influence like with Carrot Cake. It was barely enough to detect. Even more interesting was the lack of any pathos whatsoever on Twilight’s closest friends.
This was not a tactic I was used to seeing, as the bastard who gave us this magic never explained the rhyme or reason behind our instructs. These ponies were merely ‘seeded’ with pathos. Whatever was going on, I needed to figure it out before something terrible went into effect.
Unfortunately, my meditation was interrupted by the warm sensation emanating from my slave collar.
I grumbled as I touched the collar’s gemstone. After a moment of magic channeling to activate it, a swirl of pink magic flowed from the stone and formed into a ghostly pink image of an all-too familiar unicorn prince.
“Trojan. What’s your status?” Shining asked.
“What, no flowers or chocolates? Not even a ‘hey, glad you’re not dead or captured’? Where are your manners?” I snarked.
Shining groaned, using a surprising amount of restraint to not glare at me. “If you would actually answer when I call you, I might be more inclined to provide a warm greeting.”
“I’m a changeling, Shiny. Not a puppy who’s at your every beck and call. That’s Flash.” In truth, I was simply too busy until now to bother talking to him. I suppose now is as good time as any.
“Your status, if you would.”
I shrugged. “Outside your boy-toy nearly blowing our cover and getting us killed, a whole bunch of nothing.”
Shining’s eyebrow rose. “Nothing? Not even a hint of that ‘pathos’ energy that was mentioned in Flash’s report?” The extra emphasis on the word 'pathos' clearly conveyed Shining’s annoyance of learning of its existence so late. Speaking of which, I knew anything I told him would reach Flash, so I needed to continue feigning ignorance until I was ready to reveal my findings.
“That’s been bothering me as well. Your stupid slave collar makes it difficult to get a clear reading on who is a changeling, something I warned would happen if you installed that inhibitor—”
“First off,” Shining cut me off, “it will be a cold day in tartarus before I allow you to access your mind control abilities while on such a critical mission. Second, you are by no means a slave, but I can’t take such a risk by taking it off. As promised, I will remove it once the changelings are no longer a threat to us.”
I scoffed. “Whatever. Anyway, I’ve been scouring this boring town almost non-stop, and I haven’t caught a trace of one or the other. More importantly, how is your new house guest?”
Shining shook his head. “It’s like you said. Once they’re captured, they enter that weird zen state and don’t react to anything. I haven’t used any drastic means of interrogation, mind you, but we can’t get anything out of this changeling.”
“Glad you believe me now. Interrogating changelings your usual way simply doesn’t work, and using any mind reading magic will only backfire thanks to my mother’s safeguard enchantments and teachings. Don’t want your precious unicorns getting brain dead or mind controlled from feedback backlash, do we? Now, if you remember my instructions, follow it to the letter and you should be able to get him to actually talk. Once you get him talking, I need his name, directive, and who he is serving in the Ponyville region. Don’t forget the passphrase I gave you, otherwise you won’t get anything useful or honest out of him.”
“You changelings certainly like to make things complicated.”
“It’s called 'survival tactics', sweetie. Try to keep up.”
Shining grumbled, muttering something under his breath, before speaking again. “Regardless, I’ll handle the changeling guest on our end as you instructed. Just make sure you’re upholding your end of the bargain in earnest, and I shall do the same. Is that clear?”
“As transparent as your security, your highness.”
With a final sigh, Shining severed the connection, causing his visage to dissipate.
Thankful as I was for him finally leaving me alone, I couldn’t blame him for being worried. I suspected I would have certainly caught onto a few changelings by now, or significant levels of pathos infecting other civilians. Either my senses were terribly diminished, or I was missing something vital.
Infiltration protocols for my Ponyville brethren dictated that possible exposure and loss of an changeling during a high-priority mission must be immediately investigated while entering deep-cover status. Non-critical operations would cease until the situation was investigated and dealt with. While it bought us some time, it also meant Flash, Spike and I needed to avoid suspicion at all cost. The last thing we needed to deal with were assassination attempts and sabotages to create “accidents”.
“Lovebug, this is Dragonfly. Over.”
...Speaking of things I wanted to avoid at all cost...
With an exasperated sigh, I connected with Spike. “Shortcake, I swear on my mother that if you continue to call me Lovebug, I will whip you with your own spinal cord.”
“H-hey now, that’s no way to talk to a fellow teammate.”
I rolled my eyes. “My sincerest apologies, best buddy! To what do I owe this call from the venerable member of our prestigious team?”
If my voice dripped with anymore sarcasm, we would be swimming in it.
“Much better!” If he caught on that I was mocking him, he showed no sign of it. “Anyway, I wanted to stop by and talk to you before we start on our surveillance run. Are you free?”
I glanced at my wind-up clock. Twelve-thirty. It was a little early, but luckily I had no love consultation appointments to worry about so I was able to spare the time.
“Sure, I’m free for a quick chat. How far are you?”
The soft jingle of my alert bell that hung on my room’s ceiling chimed. My ears twitched towards the creaks in the wood flooring in the foyer.
“I’m already here.”
He was punctual, I will give him that.
Once I conjured up my Sassy Love disguise, I exited the room and moved towards the open space that acted as both my living room and office space for my consultation meetings. The design was rather reminiscent of my original Love Consultation office in Manehatten back in my earlier infiltration days. The atmosphere and lighting was bright and inviting with carefully adjusted magic crystal lights ‘borrowed’ from the Crystal Empire. The muted brown furnishings, tables, and bookshelves were spaced out and organized to allow somepony to avoid feeling closed in and trapped. It was a pain to organize, but important to effectively maintain my career guise as a successful Love Counselor who ponies would be compelled to confide in.
Spike was quick to make use of the burgundy satin divan I ‘persuaded’ a rather stuffy furniture shop owner to donate to me in the name of love and friendship. “Whoa, this couch is awesome! It feels like the one Rarity has at her place!”
“Really? I wonder if she got them from the same pony. Might be problematic if they haven’t found him yet…”
“What?”
“Nothing.” I took a seat next to Spike on my counselor’s recliner. Watching Spike lay back and relax on the patient’s divan gave me the strangest urge to give him a session. I restrained the temptation for now in order to hear him out.
“What did you want to talk about?” I asked.
“For the past few days, I’ve been doing some thinking about, well, you.”
“Is that right? Didn’t realize you were into changelings.” I quirked a suggestive eyebrow at him. Spike flushed.
“C-cut it out! That’s not what I meant. I was talking about changeling culture and stuff. Now that we have a moment to settle down a bit, I thought it would be a great time to know more about you and your hive.”
Fascinating. Now that I thought about it, Spike and I spent very little time quality together outside having him run errands while I continued surveillance for any disturbances. I didn’t see any harm on educating him a bit about changelings.
The curiosity was not completely one-sided. Him being the only known dragon to grow up exclusively with ponies fascinated me on quite a few levels. Especially that magic fire of his that could send messages instantly. Combined with Spike being such a central member of Twilight’s band of merry mares, this was the perfect opportunity to do my own bit of intel sleuthing.
Most important rule of being a changeling: Information is power. Information is life.
“You make an interesting point. In fact…” Moving to the front door, I slipped a ‘Busy’ sign on the door and locked it. I released my disguise, letting my natural form meld and shift into being. I grinned at Spike, who stiffened on reflex.
“W-warn me before you do that!” As his initial shock wore off, Spike gave me a curious look. “Hey, where’s the fire?”
“Fire?” It took me a few seconds to register what he was referring to. “Ah, right. When you were involved in the Canterlot operation, we transformed in front of you by bursting into flames, right? That’s just terror tactics we use to frighten our prey, though some of us do it for the sake of dramatics. After all, we wouldn’t make good infiltrators if we lit up like a furnace every time we flipped guises.”
“That makes sense, though it’s also really creepy thinking about it that way.”
“Mind games are one of our many trade skills. Always have to be one step ahead of your target and keep them controlled.” I moved back to my seat, crossing my legs while propping my chin up with a hoof. “Stealth. Deception. Manipulation. All to make sure we get to live for another day. We don’t do it just because we’re jerks. It’s all about survival of the fittest.”
It didn’t help that despite us being capable of flight and magic, we were also much weaker than ponies by comparison. Pegasi were faster, earth ponies were stronger, and don’t even me started on unicorns and their magic.
Some of us were an exception, but that’s a thought for another time and place.
Spike’s features deflated, his ear-fins drooping. “That’s sounds like a terrible way to live.”
“It’s not so bad. There’s no family dynamic stronger than ours. We have no choice but to stick together, for we only have each other.”
For reasons I couldn’t explain, only now did it hit me that it was a high possibility I would be completely cut off from the hive forever, even after this mission was completed.
The one strength changelings shared that kept us going through even the toughest struggles was our link with each other. With the damn slave collar on my neck, and the predicament we were in, this was my first instance of being alone and away from the hive.
I truly was alone.
“Trojan?”
I blinked, catching Spike looking at me worriedly. “What?”
“Is your neck alright?”
“My neck? What are you—”
It was then I found my hoof scratching at the slave collar like a bad itch. I quickly restrained my hoof and flashed a small grin at Spike. “Sorry. This collar is just a bit troublesome to deal with.”
“Yeah, Flash told me a little bit about those shield chokers. Especially yours.” Spike tossed me a pitying stare. “I know I don’t know you that well, but that seems messed up.”
“Save your pity. Our first meeting wasn’t exactly a jovial song and dance by the campfire. If anything, I’m surprised I wasn’t immediately locked in a dungeon or executed… though Flash was quick to try and accomplish the latter when we first met.”
I would have continued talking had I not caught Spike’s expression. His mood downright plummeted as he gave me puppy dog eyes. Perhaps I got a little too ‘real’ for an innocent mind like his. It was rather surreal for me to be talking about these things, though a bit cathartic. Something I would have to keep in check so I don’t get carried away and say something I would regret.
I owed the ponies my service, not my heart.
“Forget about that nonsense, Shortcake. I want your honest opinion on something. How do you really feel about living with ponies?”
Spike didn’t answer immediately, looking at me like I spoke another language. “What do you mean?”
“There’s gotta be something that bothers you about them. You’re probably the only dragon in recorded history who is chummy with most ponies. When they look at you, they don’t think there’s a big scary monster who’s gonna eat them. In fact, there’s some that think you’re the unsung hero among Twilight’s friends. I know it can’t all be rainbows and cupcakes with them. What’s it really like?”
I waited patiently to hear Spike’s answer. It was difficult to imagine the life of a pony-predator growing up among prey. True, he was well liked now. But there had to be some ponies who gave him a hard time for being a dragon. If my experience taught me anything, ponies are far more judgmental and controlling than they like to admit.
Flash Sentry was living proof of that.
“I like it. I don’t think I would trade it for anything else.”
I narrowed my eyes. “So, you’ve never had to deal with ponies who hated you because you’re a dragon? Never had a pony try to kill you or blame you for something that you didn’t do?”
“Well, some of that happened, but definitely never had a pony hate me or try to kill me. Not that I could remember.”
I sighed. So, the only living thing I thought I could somehow relate to turned out to be ‘living the dream’. I suppose it simply worked out for him. Speaking objectively, he was rather cute for a growing dragon, so I imagined that contributed to not draw so much hate in his direction.
“What about you?”
“What about me?” I muttered.
“The only time I’ve ever seen changelings was during the Canterlot invasion. I didn’t think about it till now, but what’s it like hiding among ponies all the time?”
“Like you can die at any moment.”
Judging from the aghast look on Spike’s face, I thought that perhaps I should elaborate.
“We have a few important rules we live by. We call it the Shadow’s Code. One of the most important rules taught to a changeling since hatching is that stealth is the necessary way of life. Ponies are the most potent food source, therefore we are forced to blend in and maintain secrecy. If we are discovered, complications start to arise, and the ponies in that area are now aware of changelings. That makes life harder for everyling in that area as well as neighboring areas.”
Spike swallowed nervously. “And...what happens if you are caught?”
“Depends on the situation. More often than not, we're able to use an amnesia spell to blank the ponies' memory and slip away. Sometimes we don’t have the chance and need to…” I stopped to consider my wording. Best not scare the dragon too badly. “Well, we have ways of dealing with that. Sometimes we just have to skip town and get away until things cool down and try again. If we’re desperate, we’ll clean the town.”
“Clean?”
“Raid it. Drain the inhabitants and overrun it. More often than not, we’re able to wipe out the town quickly before any neighboring towns can catch on. That won’t happen to Ponyville, though,” I added once I caught Spike’s body tensing, “it’s too risky for us to simply raid it and expose ourselves before our objective is complete.
“They can’t outright kill the residing princess either. We have a big enough target on our backs without sparking a changeling-hunting spree. Changelings are masters of playing the waiting game, biding our time and setting up the right circumstances before setting off the trap. I’m still trying to figure out what they want to do with Twilight, but one thing is certain:
“When the trap is sprung, it will already be too late.”
“Then what can we do? It’s been a week, and I know you said we need to lay low, but won’t they speed things up if they know something’s up?”
“Yes and no. We have protocols we follow in the event one of us is ‘missing’. The good news is that you and I are fine. I’m positive Flash bashed that changeling’s face in hard enough to where we won’t be recognized. What I’m worried about is if he was able to give Flash’s description before going berserk. That’s why I had to convince Twilight to take him home rather than to the infirmary; they would check there for anypony who went there that night. If they catch onto Flash, they will kill him.”
“Too bad for them, they'll have to get through me first. If they think I’ll just sit in the back and let you two have all the fun, they've got another thing coming.” Just like with Flash, there was a passionate fire that burned in his eyes.
Despite having witnessed pathos in full possession mode and nearly getting himself killed, I had to admit I was impressed with how determined Spike was. Likely a bit overzealous and naive, but no living creature ever started out perfect. With the threats we would be dealing with, I needed to ensure all of us were prepared to deal with the pathos and my brethren.
Suddenly, a most wonderful idea hit me.
Among my brethren, Twilight was one of the most high profile threats due to her inquisitive nature and brilliant intelligence. It was so easy to ignore the fact Spike was her assistant and likely held wit similar to hers. Combined with some physical conditioning and combat training with Flash, Spike would easily become a formidable force to deal with.
More importantly, a force that I could fine-tune and ‘guide’. The blessing in disguise that nopony, not even my fellow changelings, would ever think to suspect.
“You know, Shortcake. I could help you with that.”
“Huh?” Spike blinked owlishly. I had his attention. “What do you mean?”
“Let’s not forget we’re dealing with changelings here. My brethren. Flash may be able to help you win a fight, but with my help, you could help end a war. After all, who better to teach you how to outmaneuver and beat changelings than another changeling?”
I could see the gears in his head turning as he nodded. Good.
With every sentence I laced my tone with honey; seductive and inviting. “However, the things I will teach you are very effective and dangerous. Somepony like Twilight would never want you to learn this. Flash wouldn’t be able to comprehend it. But you, Spike. A strapping dragon like yourself who is willing to brave Tartarus itself to protect those important to you? I think you deserve the lessons I can teach you. The methods to win a war with talent that surpasses mere physical and magical limitations.
“R-really?” A twinge of worry made Spike’s voice waver. He was worried. Even a bit scared. Yet, I could sense the rising determination and excitement in him.
“If you swear total secrecy, that includes not telling Flash or Twilight, I can teach you the ways of my brethren. Skills and techniques we’ve mastered over countless years to fool our enemies and overcome the greatest of trials where even the mightiest creature would have long fallen.”
“Is it really that dangerous to tell Flash and Twilight about this? I mean, I don’t want to lie to them about what I’m learning. Especially Twilight.”
“You wouldn’t be doing anything to hurt them, that I can swear to you. However, these are techniques that must absolutely stay secret and can only be communicated between us. This may seem strange, but it will come with understanding in time. If you can trust me on this, even a little, then I will prove to you that these techniques will help you save Twilight better than any weapon or spell could.”
I offered my hoof to Spike. “Do you trust me, Spike?”
For a few seconds he stared at my hoof, his eyes full of questions and intrigue. Then, his eyes set on mine. “Why are you telling me all of this? Why me specifically? You say Flash wouldn’t understand, but it wouldn’t hurt for him to learn these techniques too.”
In truth, Flash not being able to comprehend was a lie. What I would teach Spike would likely be something useful for Flash to know. But the idea of Flash knowing techniques that not only mirrored changeling techniques but could also counter them, rattled me. It was… too close to home. Too close after he'd already matched me blow for blow in the Crystal Empire.
I still couldn’t get the sight of him bashing my brethren’s face in. Had I not stopped him then, there was no doubt he would’ve killed him. Somepony like that I could never bring myself to trust. The only thing outside changelings that's worth trusting are those you can control. Flash was too stubborn and volatile to trust completely.
Spike, on the other hoof, could be the answer I was looking for.
“It’s because I trust you, Spike.”
A hint of surprise and understanding reached his eyes. With his jaw set, he grasped my hoof. “I trust you, too, Trojan.”
For anypony else, trusting a changeling would be the worst possible decision. But I’ll make an exception for Spike: this was a blessing for both of us.
Welcome to the world of changelings, Spike.
“Do you have a moment to talk, Flash?”
I couldn’t recall such a question being followed by something good or not horrifically awkward.
My hay sandwich dinner was stuck halfway into my mouth when Twilight entered the dining room. I made sure to swallow the part of the sandwich I bit into before answering. “Of course. Please, have a seat.” As a proper gentlestallion, I made sure to pull out a chair for Twilight.
“Thank you, Flash.” I tried to pretend I didn’t notice her smile widening as she accepted the seat.
Retreating back to my own seat, I mentally steeled myself for the proverbial bomb Twilight might drop on me. “What did you want to talk about?”
Twilight’s shoulders tightened as she took a breath. Great sign that I’m in for quite the ride.
“So Flash, how are your wounds?”
Small talk. Prep time before the ax drop. Got it. “After a few more days I should be at one-hundred percent. Those ointments you used worked out really well.”
“I can’t take full credit for that. Sassy was the one who provided that salve. She’s surprisingly well versed in pony biology.”
Clearly she would know pony biology. Know thy enemy, as they say.
“That’s my sister, alright. When she’s not being a pest, she’s actually really helpful.” I laughed to show it was a lighthearted jab.
“Oh come on, that’s a little mean. Sure, she can be straightforward and teasing, but I like that about her. I’m glad she’s been getting along with everypony, especially Pinkie after that mess she went through when you first arrived.”
“Too true.” I don’t think I could ever forget that night.
I admit, Trojan really came through for me by helping to quell the distress surrounding the Cakes while assisting in helping the family repair the damage done by the pathos. It still bothered me that she found no hints of the pathos or other changelings, but for now I was willing to give her some benefit of the doubt and assume they decided to lay low until they felt the heat was off.
Hopefully that’s all that it was.
Twilight and I fell silent for a beat. The wait to figure out what she wanted to talk about was killing me. As much as I wanted to get it over with, the last thing I wanted to do was pressure her into talking. No need to rush to my own noose.
“So, um, there’s actually something that’s been on my mind lately that I’ve been meaning to discuss with you.”
Here we go.
“I wasn’t sure how to approach it at first, or if I should at all,” Twilight said, “but after some thinking, talking to my friends, and a few, er, let’s call them discoveries, I’ve realized that it’s better to approach you directly about it. D-don’t worry, it’s nothing bad or anything. It just kind of hit me that I haven’t really made the effort to get to know you. So… well… here I am!” Twilight chuckled nervously.
I released the breath I had been holding. Not sure what I was expecting, but openings like that always made me paranoid. “That’s pretty fair, and I appreciate your directness, Twilight. What did you want to discuss?”
“U-um, may I ask a personal question? You don’t have to answer if you do.
I inclined my head and smiled. “Fire away.”
It took a few attempts and false starts before Twilight managed to get the words out. “Do you have stage fright?”
Shock ripped through me as I stiffened and stared like a deer caught in the spotlight.
Welp, that’s what I get for getting my hopes up.
It was a fair question considering how badly I embarrassed myself when I first arrived. Unfortunately, it was also an incredibly sore point for me that was difficult to discuss. Talk about a strong start.
I thought back to the moment where I stupidly embarrassed myself when attempting to sing for everypony at my welcome party. I distinctly remembered Twilight and Fluttershy’s expressions were different from everypony else. That certainly explained why Twilight had been visiting Fluttershy a lot for the last few days.
“I, um, n-no, I don’t,” I lied. “If you were referring to what happened last week when I was asked to do karaoke, I wasn’t feeling well. I think it was something that was in the drink, so…”
Twilight frowned. Not a good sign.
“Are you okay, Flash? You seem a little pale.”
“Who, me? Never better. I’m perfectly fine.” It took some effort to keep the anxiety out of my voice.
“So...if I asked you to play for my friends again, would that be okay?”
My throat went dry. “I, uh, w-why do you ask? Is there a birthday party coming up? A celebration, maybe?”
Twilight’s frown deepened. Her expression was somewhere between troubled and disappointed. Perhaps even guilty for some reason? It was hard to say which fate would be worse, especially with the now awkward atmosphere that fell between us.
I knew I could solve all of this by simply admitting that I did have stage fright, but I couldn’t bring myself to say it. A Royal Guard captain with stage fright? That was downright pathetic and weak. What kind of stallion would I be to show weakness like that?
But was this any better?
All this was doing was making me look like a liar. Was there really no safe middle ground for me to take? Either I look like a liar, or I tell Twilight, the princess I’m supposed to be protecting, that I’m afraid to perform in front of ponies.
“Flash,” Twilight’s serious tone caught me off guard, “I want you to know that you can trust me. I don’t want to make you feel like I’m trying to corner you, but I’ve dealt with Spike telling me about his ‘stomachaches’ too many times to buy that. You don’t have to lie to me.”
I really shouldn’t have been surprised.
That excuse was meant to be my cover for checking on the Cakes. Yet, deep down, I knew that in itself was an excuse to distance myself from the situation. I don’t know what it is with Spike and Twilight, but they seem to have a penchant for placing me in uncomfortable positions.
Come on, Flash, the jig is up. Be a stallion and tell the pretty mare that the captain of her guard can’t handle a mic.
“I…” I swallowed hard, cursing the quiver in my tone. My gaze fell to my forehooves as they tapped together in a rhythmic pattern. Just rip off the bandaid and get it over with, soldier! “I… may or may not… have stage fright.”
“I’m sorry, what was that? I couldn’t hear you.”
Deep breaths, Flash.
“I was saying that I kinda… sorta… have, um…” This was pathetic. Why couldn’t I just spit it out?
“What?”
For the love of…
“I said I have stage fright!” I shouted. Twilight pulled back and blinked, staring at me wide-eyed.
Oh crap. I just yelled at Twilight.
Any attempt to look marginally composed cracked as I panicked. I knew I was starting to grow comfortable around Twilight with our friendly interactions lately, but this was a red flag that I grew way too complacent for my own good.
“I’m so sorry, Twilight! I didn’t mean to yell like that! Please don’t take any offense. It’s just a really touchy subject, and I usually try to avoid talking about it, and when I do it really gets to me, so it’s just something of a self-defense—”
“Flash, it’s okay. I’m not mad at you. I’m the one who should be sorry for bringing it out of you like that.”
I sighed. Twilight was far too kind. “No, you don’t have to be sorry about anything. I was out of line and shouldn't have yelled at you. But yeah, you got me. I get the worse kind of anxiety when I’m on a stage and just can’t bring myself to follow through. As you saw when I was on that stage, it can get pretty bad.”
“There’s nothing wrong with having stage fright, though I have to admit it’s rather surprising. You deal with high profile officials all the time and personally guarded Cadance. You’re telling me this entire time you’ve always had stage fright?”
“Yep! Kind of backwards, right?” I could feel my heart hammering against my chest, screaming at me to shut up. But it was better to just get this done and out of the way now that it was laid bare. “That I can handle just fine. It’s a little tough to explain without sounding crazy.”
“Try me.” I could see the spark of intrigue in her eyes as she leaned forward to listen.
Taking in a deep breath I took the plunge. Go hard or go home.
“When I’m addressing royalty or acting as their speaker and representative, I just focus on doing my job. What you see when I’m introducing royal dignitaries and diplomats is not really me. It’s the royal guard me. A front, basically.
“But then you got the other me when I’m not doing my guard duties or speaking for others. The me that shuts down when the only thing standing between me and a few hundred spectators is a microphone and guitar. It’s a long story that I would rather not get into, but there you have it. Flash Sentry, Royal Guard for the most prominent figures in Equestria, can’t handle a microphone in front of civilians. Crazy, right?”
I didn’t dare look at Twilight. I was feeling vulnerable enough as it is and the last thing I needed was for her to look in my eyes and see just how weak I really was.
I nearly jumped when I felt Twilight’s hoof touch mine. I looked up at her and felt my breath catch as I stared into those big, compassionate eyes.
“Thank you for telling me that, Flash. I know it must have been hard for you, but I’m glad you trust me enough to open up to me.”
For a few seconds I was stuck in a mesmerized state, my eyes locked onto hers. She didn’t laugh, pity me or even looked down on me. If anything, she seemed happy to listen to me without openly judging me for my weakness.
My heart raced even faster and my throat ran dry. That knowledge of Twilight being so understanding was more unnerving than anything else.
“S-sure.” I panicked when I caught my voice sounding breathless and at a higher pitch than I would’ve liked. It didn’t help that Twilight was giggling. “I mean, ahem, I really appreciate that, Twilight.”
“Flash, just so you know, if you want to try and overcome that fear, I’m more than willing to help.”
My heart leapt to my throat. “I-I-I appreciate the thought, but there’s no need for that. I can still handle my tasks as a guard perfectly fine. There’s no need to bother yourself with something as silly as stage fright.”
“This isn’t about your duties as a guard and it’s no trouble!” There was a frightening amount of fire burning in her eyes as she leaned uncomfortably close. “You are my friend, and if I can help you overcome that fear so you can share your beautiful music with everypony, I will do whatever it takes.”
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a pony so eager to help another pony overcome their fear. As much as I wanted to avoid dealing with this ‘issue’ I had and forget this conversation happened, it was clear Twilight was not going to take no for an answer.
That’s when my mouth decided to betray my self-preservation instincts because of that smile of hers, something that seemed to be occurring more frequently as of late.
“Uh, s-sure thing. Thank you, Twilight.”
The moment I uttered those words her eyes lit up like fireworks.
Right then, I knew I'd just set something terrible in motion.
“Great! We can get started right now!”
“Wait, what are you—whoa!” Before I knew it, she was dragging me out of the dining room by the hoof with strength that would put Shine Spark to shame.
“If we hurry, we should be able to find some great reference material for overcoming phobias in my library. Oh! I should call Fluttershy over to help as well! She would make a perfect study buddy to help you learn how to overcome it! I think I remember reading up on a twenty-step program that...”
I tried several attempts to slow her down, but quickly learned it was futile to continue resisting as Twilight tuned me out and started rambling on about research material and experiments. Whatever sort of whirlwind craziness I let myself get caught up in, there was no escaping it now. I was trapped.
Then again, seeing Twilight get so passionate over trying to help me brought a wide smile to my muzzle, and warmth in my chest.
Perhaps this was something worth looking forward to after all.